heartache writing

It’s 2am and all I crave is your hands on my skin and your lips on mine.
—  t.i // Repost from something I wrote a while ago #4.
Why do I keep doing that? I am so over you but I still look up to see if you’ll walk through the door with your friends. And I still check my phone every now and then to see if you’ve called. You never do and you probably never will, but I’m still waiting.
—  💜
You don’t love him anymore but sometimes when you look at the sky it seems to be the same shade of blue as his eyes. You don’t love him anymore but sometimes when you’re driving alone in your car, switching the radio stations and you hear the song you two used to always sing together, you get this overwhelming ache deep in your chest. You don’t love him anymore but sometimes you catch a glimpse of him laughing and a knot forms in your throat because it used to be your favorite sound. You don’t love him anymore but sometimes you catch yourself thinking about him and all the memories you two made together. You don’t love him anymore but sometimes when you drink so much that you can’t even remember your name, you remember his. You remember the way he held you, the way he kissed you, the way he made you feel special. You don’t love him anymore but sometimes you drive through stop signs because it hurts too much to stop at one, especially the one where he took your hand, looked into your eyes and told you he loved you for the first time. You don’t love him anymore but sometimes when you’re in class, or in bed, or watching a movie, or listening to music, it hits you that he’s gone and you cry and cry but you swear you don’t love him anymore.
—  ( 8:20 )
No. Don’t message him back. Get off his page. You deserve so much better than this, I promise you that. Don’t put yourself in a position where he can hurt you a second time. You’ll be okay.
—  daily reminder to myself and to anyone who’s struggling with letting go, you deserve so much better. please don’t go back to him when you know he won’t hesitate to hurt you again.
And the next time you look at the stars in the sky, remember the people who have loved you,and not the ones who didn’t.

THE FIRST TIME I SLEPT IN HIS BED
HE ASKED ME IF I LIKED THE SMELL OF LAVENDER
AND SINCE THEN
EVERYTHING THAT CALMS ME HAS BEEN PURPLE.

But if I could name this feeling, I’d call it
the road home is longer than it looks.
I’d call it, plane tickets and loose change
are caught in my throat.
I’d call it, screaming skin and my heart
taming its wilderness in you.

The first time I slept in his bed,
he asked me if I liked the smell of lavender.

Well,
I do now.

And if I could name this feeling, I’d call it
memories of my week with you.
I’d call it, asking the cards ‘what the hell am I supposed to do
with these now?’
I’d call it, there isn’t an answer, only sore lungs
soaking up an aching heart.

The first time I slept in his bed,
he told me the distance between us might be louder
than anything we have to offer.

So I wrote this poem in his sheets 
and it isn’t going to silence my skin
or bring my heart back

but it will put my hopes out into the universe that one day
we will wake up to the smell of lavender
in a town we both call home.

—  Alessia Di Cesare, The First Time I Slept In His Bed
you’ll miss her when she’s gone,
you’ll need her when she’s not yours, and it’s tragic that;
at that moment,she won’t love you at all.
Your heart will fix itself. It’s your mind you need to worry about. Your mind where you locked the memories, your mind where you have kept pieces of the ones that hurt you, that still cut through you like shards of glass. Your mind will keep you up at night, make you cry, destroy you over and over again. You need to convince your mind that it has to let go…because your heart already knows how to heal.
—  Nikita Gill

“I want you, don’t you fucking get it. I want you on your good days and your bad days. I want you when you’re being a pain in the ass or you’re to busy. I want you when you’re sick, or when you’re feeling amazing. I want you even if you fuck up. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see that I unconditionally want you? I’ve wanted you everyday for the last year. Even when you broke my heart and hurt me. Even when I can’t have you I want you. I could have so many other people, but I just want you. I want you, and I want you to want me back,” she said as tears build up in her eyes.

-I want you, but I’m afraid you don’t want me

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