heart urchin

the zodiac signs as purple things
  • Aries: Sea Urchins
  • Taurus: Purple Heart Medal
  • Gemini: Plums
  • Cancer: Lilacs
  • Leo: Grapes
  • Virgo: Violets
  • Libra: Amethyst
  • Scorpio: Salvia Flowers
  • Sagittarius: Grape Soda
  • Capricorn: Purple Figs
  • Aquarius: Bruises
  • Pisces: Lavender

I feel like I am underwater 

Not in the good little mermaid way 

I am underwater 

a lurking sea monster

Everything is so muted and fuzzy

My thoughts are a scattered school of fish escaping the 

Great White Sharks of depression and anxiety

My lungs are full of seaweed 

My heart is a sea urchin

I cannot breathe and I cannot love 

Tie rocks to my ankles 

Let me pretend I am a beautiful mermaid as I drown

2

etcI didn’t find anything the other day, but here’s a pic of another heart urchin and a scallop shell I picked up today. Also a pic of all the stuff I have found on the beach in total so far. 

I am also willing to accept trades for other vulture culture related items (fur scraps, bones, shells, etc… ) dont be afraid to shoot me an offer if you are interested! Preferably EU, UK people or anywhere thats easy and legal to ship these items. 

youtube

Lovenia elongata heart urchin buries herself

I feel so distance

My feelings lately have been quite unstable.  One day I would feel so close to everyone. Another so distance that I can’t connect with any one at all.  The desolate feeling that is so hard to fill.  I guess I am feeling like this due to the realization that I will take a step into the real world soon.  Another reason might be that I feel so satisfaction in anything I do.  Everything has become so mundane.  The last thing … I can’t seem to get a particular person out of my head … my heart feels so fragile right now … it is similar to the test of a heart urchin … it can be the saddest thing to look at and also the prettiest thing in the world (trust me, if you ever get a chance to find a heart urchin’s test while snorkeling or diving, try to break it, this is very easy to do).  Seeing all the different pieces of the test broken up and fluttering down the water column, what a sight to behold.  My heart right now seems to be made up of glass that is so easily disturbed.  I should stop all of this nonsense and just continue on being awesome, but it is just so hard …

Meanwhile this has brought a smile to my face this morning

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Iridescence

Alone I walk the highest tide line
lifting and poring through tangles,
feathers and dark seaweed ropes,
bones of near-extinct sharks,
fragile heart urchin fragments,

the bottle I imagine cold comfort
in a storm until it blew overboard
and spent centuries at sea,
my love, my love, I search for
abandoned signals, I search for

the me I left with you because
out of the two of us, one needed
to be left behind. I couldn’t bear
to part with you in the storm of me,
so I keep you, shining at the seam

in split clouds, keep you clutched
in freezing fingers, all the way home.

I hate not knowing when to cross a bridge or when to set it on fire. I hate not knowing when to stay or leave a note behind explaining the sudden change in wind. I hate not understanding where my needs start and where other’s needs end. I hate forgetting names and losing track of days. I hate that my legs feel like jello and my heart, like a sea urchin. I hate always having to explain myself so I end up talking in tongues which makes me feel insane. I guess the only reason why I like you is because you get me in some way…