heart bursts

Your attention is caught by him, carving a space made in his name within your chest, that you don’t notice what he takes with him when he leaves.

It was warm when he came along. You were starlight, finally bright in a place that isn’t on the ice when he takes you along into a dance. You were happy. You were full where the void of your heart was, fit to burst with sunshine and laughter and everything-

that when he left, you felt his absence tenfold.

Do you regret it, finally having something and losing it so swiftly?

Do you regret it, feeling such fullness for only a moment in time, and having it ripped away from you with no farewell given in warning?

Had you been a younger, with your heart still so ripe with hopefulness and feeling, perhaps you would. Perhaps you would have tasted the bitterness of rejection and, with pride too high on your young shoulders, you would have wished that you never met him at all.

But you’re reaching the end of your prime, knees weak with exertion and lungs heavy with despair, that you can’t help but cling and cling and cling. You have not asked for much, have you? You worked hard, you gave your best, you made your country proud-

surely, surely, you can have this one thing for yourself?

Surely, just this once, you can have someone that will stay?

You have never asked for much. You’ve been so good for most of your life, you’ve done as they asked, only broken irrelevant rules to ensure that you (you, Viktor Nikiforov, not Viktor the Russian Champion) would have something to your name that will never completely be theirs.

Just this once.

Please, please, just this once.

Let me have this.

adarkroomandawallflower  asked:

Yes!! You'd be pushing the cart & Peter's just like "I'll be right back" & by the time you blink, the previously empty cart is now full to the brim with kid stuff "Peter! We're only having one kid" "but baaaabe! They're going to need all this!" "I don't think they're going to need 7 tea sets" "Yes they do! One for every day of the week!" "Peter---" "And they'll need lots of stuffed animals & toys & a little chest to keep them all in & they'll need those constellation lights so they can see (1/2)

the stars & & oooh do you think 10 pillows are enough? Do you think they’ll need more for when we build pillow forts together?“

my little heart is bursting with so much joy right now

Somewhere, anywhere.

I miss you daily,
every time I stare
in wonder at
my two hands,
wiggle my fingers,
and marvel
at all I have created
without you (and
all we could’ve
never created
together).

What’s become of
you? It seems just
last week I was young
and so full of love
and hope that
I thought my heart
would burst through
my chest just to
touch you, and now
I can’t remember
the sound of your voice
when you spoke
my name.

I am helpless
in the dark, fragile
and breakable
in ways you’d never
understand.
I hope you’re better
off, alone and
better for it. Today,
all I seem to do
is scan the eyes
of everyone I meet,
hoping to somehow
see their souls

(assuming they exist,
both the soul and
the person) and
find you again, in
someone else. And
I wish I were someone
else, anywhere else,
far from here,
where I wouldn’t
have to feel you
any longer or
this discourse
set on fire,

burning longer
than I ever thought
possible.

6

have you heard the rumours about my rapping?
i have, actually!
come at me with a beat.
okay, yeah.