I could physically feel you losing interest in me. Our 3 a.m. conversations had turned into 3 minute chats. Everything was surface level, and it absolutely broke my heart because I wanted nothing more than to have you back in my life. I felt like screaming at you to just Speak to me, but I knew it was futile. Sometimes no matter how much two people want to make it work, it’s not meant to happen.
Losing a Friend Hurts so Much// a Excerpts From a Book I’ll Never Write
They told me that if you repeat something over and over, that it will lose it’s meaning.
So I stayed up a hundred nights, whispering your name until my voice was raw, hoping that tonight would be the night I’d stop loving you.
And I think life has a way of hitting you a little harder in the morning than it does at night. You see at night, there is this chance of sleep. Of forgetting. Of something better. But in the morning? It all hits you at once, when you realize exactly where things are at, it slams you down into your bed as you watch a recap of all the highlights of the things you were trying to forget.
I want him to think just once, he fucked up. He lost someone who cared for him and continuously cried over him months and months even after it ended. Who cared for him so deeply that she had to take a break from school because she could just barely get herself up and out of bed. However, he didn’t think twice about her. He continued getting up and smiling and laughing with his friends, not even glancing over or wondering for a second about how she was feeling. He continued to be selfish and move on, meanwhile she took the time and effort to forget about you, it took a lot. In the end, she was successful.
Two days ago I drove through bad weather because “I can handle it.” I spun off the road and the loss of all control still terrifies me and all I could think about was the fact that I could die or I could not and there was nothing I could do about it either way.