I watched them speak of you like you were the devil. When you gave every thing you had to the world and everyone turned their backs on you, made a villain out of you. And I know how hard it was for you to not give into the monster they made you out to be, how a part of you still wanted to be a good guy even though all of your loved ones destroyed you inside and out. Day in and day out, you woke up scared to death about what else you would lose because of the horrible things they said. The things that weren’t true but still haunted you anyways because they already took so much from you. All I can say right now is that you never had to prove your worth to anyone. At least not to me. And though I’m glad you are in a place where they can’t hurt you anymore, a place where they can’t touch you ever again– you deserved better. We deserved better.
—  A.L Thai | Deserve Better.

((Welp this got long… apparently he’s in more anguish than I thought. Writing it all out was the best way I could think of getting him to work through it and bring him back to me. So if you’re curious about the pain he’s in then have a read. @evilgsanchez is in for a shit storm. I put it under a cut for the length my apologies if it doesn’t cut on mobile.)) 

“I will go wherever the fuck I want ! You think I have to answer to you, to either of you, it’s a fucking courtesy that I do, not a fucking right. I’m leaving, now. You want to talk to someone about this, well you’ve always got Bill, he can fuck you and you can tell him about how much of a bastard I am, have a great fucking time.”

“I’ve made a royal mess involving him I admit that. I have no idea what I’m doing, this shit is so overwhelming! I’m sorry I dragged Bill into it. I’ll leave you alone.”

“Good. Do that.”

“I’m not leaving, but I’ll stay in the den.”

“Do what you like, I’m going out.”


As Evil Rick’s portal closed, Rocker flopped down onto the couch in his den so hard the sofa slid several inches. Arms crossed so tightly he thought he might break his ribs, his nails dug deep enough into the skin of his own biceps to draw blood. His chest was heaving with his pent up fury and he was huffing through his nose as he clenched his teeth.  He’d left. He’d fucking left. Again. Up and motherfucking walked out, leaving the musician alone and pissed off in their lair. In the middle of their fucking argument. Just up and decided he can’t fucking take the talking anymore and portals out. Go talk to Bill he said. Yeah. Right. Like he could fucking do that. Going to Bill was what had turned a hostile situation atomic. No. he had to sit here and fucking fester until his grace decided it was time to resolve it.

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I could physically feel you losing interest in me. Our 3 a.m. conversations had turned into 3 minute chats. Everything was surface level, and it absolutely broke my heart because I wanted nothing more than to have you back in my life. I felt like screaming at you to just Speak to me, but I knew it was futile. Sometimes no matter how much two people want to make it work, it’s not meant to happen.
—  Losing a Friend Hurts so Much// a Excerpts From a Book I’ll Never Write
They told me that if you repeat something over and over, that it will lose it’s meaning. 
So I stayed up a hundred nights, whispering your name until my voice was raw, hoping that tonight would be the night I’d stop loving you.
—  a.r.s
I’m really fucking in love with you. How many hints do I need to drop to make you believe it? I love when you smile and when your eyes land on me in a crowded area. Even if it means nothing to you, it’s everything to me. You mean so much to me, when I tell you, you don’t understand or you avoid it. Please don’t, tell me its okay but don’t fake it. I don’t say ‘I love you’ or ‘I care about you’ just to make words come out of my mouth. Understand that I genuinely have feelings for you.
—  Nothing is changing
I want him to think just once, he fucked up. He lost someone who cared for him and continuously cried over him months and months even after it ended. Who cared for him so deeply that she had to take a break from school because she could just barely get herself up and out of bed. However, he didn’t think twice about her. He continued getting up and smiling and laughing with his friends, not even glancing over or wondering for a second about how she was feeling. He continued to be selfish and move on, meanwhile she took the time and effort to forget about you, it took a lot. In the end, she was successful.
—  Time heals