hearing this man talk about this character makes me feel so many things

A white guy’s thoughts on “Get Out” and racism

This weekend, I went to see a horror movie. It got stuck in my head, and now I can’t stop thinking about it—but not for any of the reasons you might think.

The movie was Jordan Peele’s new hit Get Out, which has gotten rave reviews from critics—an incredible 99% on Rotten Tomatoes—and has a lot of people talking about its themes.

First of all, I should tell you that I hate horror movies. As a general rule, I stay far, far away from them, but after everything I’d read, I felt like this was an important film for me to see. This trailer might give you some inkling as to why:

Creepy, huh? You might know writer/director Jordan Peele as part of the comedy duo Key & Peele, known for smartly tackling societal issues through sketch comedy. Get Out is a horror movie, but it’s also a film about race in America, and it’s impressively multilayered.

I left the theater feeling deeply disturbed but glad this movie was made. I can’t say any more without revealing spoilers, so if you haven’t seen the movie yet and you don’t want to have the plot spoiled for you, stop reading now and come back later.

Seriously, this is your last chance before I give away what happens.

Okay, you were warned. Here we go.

Our protagonist is Chris Washington, a young black man who has been dating Rose Armitage, a young white woman, for the last four months. She wants him to meet her family, but he’s hesitant. She acknowledges that her dad can be a little awkward on the subject of race, but assures Chris that he means well.

After unnerving encounters with a deer (echoes of The Invitation) and a racist cop, Chris and Rose arrive at the Armitages’ estate. On the surface, the Armitages are very friendly, but the conversation (brilliantly scripted by Peele) includes a lot of the little, everyday, get-under-your-skin moments of racism that people of color have to contend with: Rose’s dad going on about how he voted for Obama, for instance, and asking how long “this thang” has been going on. Chris laughs it off to be polite, though he clearly feels uncomfortable.

There’s a fantastic moment here, by the way, when Rose’s dad offhandedly mentions that they had to close off the basement because of “black mold.” In the midst of the racially charged atmosphere of the conversation, it’s nearly impossible not to take this as a racial remark, and Chris certainly notices, but what could he possibly say about it? Black mold is a real thing; his girlfriend would surely think he was crazy and oversensitive if he said it sounded racist. Chris never reacts to the remark, but that one tiny moment is a reminder to the audience of a real problem people of color often face, when racism can’t be called out without being accused of “playing the race card” or seeing things that aren’t there. (Incidentally, it turns out that the basement is actually used for molding of a different sort.)

There are other reasons for Chris to be unsettled: The only other black people on the estate are two servants, Georgina and Walter (Rose’s dad says he knows how bad it looks, but that it’s not what it seems), and something is clearly “off” about them. Later, more white people show up—and one more black character, and he, too, feels “off.”

By the end of the film, we learn the horrible secret: Rose’s family is kidnapping and luring black people to their estate, where they’re being hypnotized and psychologically trapped inside themselves—Rose’s mom calls it “the sunken place”—so that old or disabled white people’s consciousnesses can be transplanted into their bodies. The white people are then able to move about, controlling their new black bodies, with the black person’s consciousness along for the ride as a mere “passenger.” In a shocking twist, it turns out that even apparently-sweet Rose is in on the plot, and Chris must fight her and the rest of her family to escape.

This isn’t a “white people are evil” film, although it may sound that way at first, but it is a film about racism. I know many of my friends of color will connect with this movie in a way I can’t, so I won’t try to say what I think they’ll get out of it. I do want to say how I connected with it, though, because I think what Jordan Peele has done here is really important for white audiences. 

If you look beyond the surface horror-movie plot, this film actually gives white people a tiny peek at the reality of racism—not the epithet-shouting neo-Nazi kind of racism that white people normally imagine when we hear “racism,” but the “Oh it’s so nice to meet you; I voted for Obama” kind of racism, the subtle othering that expects people of color to smile and get along and adopt white culture as their own whenever they’re around white people.

So many of the moments in Get Out are clearly intended to work on multiple levels. When Chris confronts Georgina about something being wrong and she smiles and says, “No, no no no no no,” with tears streaming down her cheeks, the symbolism is blatant. How often do people of color have to ignore the subtle indignities they face and hide their true emotions in order to avoid coming across as, for example, “the angry black woman/man”? How many times do they find themselves in social situations—even with their closest white friends!—where people make little comments tying them to an “exotic,” supposedly monolithic culture, where they have to respond with a smile and a laugh instead of telling people how stupid and offensive they’re being? 

I can’t tell you the number of these stories I’ve heard from my friends, and I’m quite sure that the stories I’ve heard are only a tiny fraction of the stories that could be told. So there’s something in that moment that speaks volumes about the experiences of people of color in America.

The same is true for so many other moments. The black characters Chris meets at the Armitages’ have all symbolically given up their identities and conformed to white culture; when Chris meets one character, he turns out to be going under a new name, with new clothes and new mannerisms; when Chris offers him a fist bump, he tries to shake Chris’s fist. Again, within the story, there’s an explanation for all this, but every moment here is also about assimilation and culture differences. 

For me as a white audience member, all of these moments did something remarkable: They showed me my own culture—a culture I’m often blissfully unaware of because it’s all around me—as something alien. They reminded me that I, too, have a culture, and that expecting everyone else to assimilate to my culture is just as much an erasing of their identities as it would be to expect me to assimilate to someone else’s culture.

And that’s a big part of what Get Out is about—the erasing of identities, and the power of racism to destroy people. I think it’s really significant that racism is portrayed here very differently from how it’s normally portrayed in movies written by white people. In most Hollywood movies, you know a character is racist because they shout racial epithets or make blatant statements about a certain race’s inferiority. That allows white audiences to say, “I would never do/say that, so I’m not racist!” We really don’t want to think we are.

But notice something important about Get Out’s treatment of racism: This is a film about the literal enslavement of black people—racism doesn’t get more extreme than that—and yet Peele doesn’t go for the obvious by having the white characters admit that they think black people are inferior; instead, they subjugate and dehumanize people by claiming to admire things about them. They turn them into fashion accessories. 

When Chris asks why only black people are being targeted for this procedure, the response is telling: It’s not (supposedly) because the white characters think African Americans are bad, but rather, because they like certain things about them and they want “a change” for themselves. They want to become black—it’s trendy, we’re told!—but without having had any of the actual life experiences or history of African Americans. White people need to see this: to experience the ways in which Chris is othered by people who tell him all the things they like about him—isn’t he strong? Look at those muscles! Does he play golf like Tiger Woods? And he must be well-endowed and have such sexual prowess, right, Rose?

The white people in the audience need to be reminded that just because you’re saying positive things about someone doesn’t mean you’re not being racist, that turning someone into an exotic “other” may not be the same as shouting an epithet, but it’s still taking away someone’s identity and treating them as a commodity.

The film is filled with these kinds of moments. When we realize that Rose’s white grandmother has inhabited the body of Georgina, the fact that she keeps touching her own hair and admiring herself in the mirror takes on a whole new level of significance. (White people, please don’t ask to touch your black friends’ hair.) When Chris connects with a dying deer on the side of the road and later sees a deer head mounted on the wall at the Armitages’ estate, the symbolism is hard to miss. Black people are being turned into trophies in this house. And, oh yeah, they’re being literally auctioned off—as they were in real life in the not-too-distant past.

One day, I’d like to see the film again to pick up on all the ways things read differently the second time through. I noticed several things in retrospect that gain new significance once you know the ending, and I’m sure there’s a lot I didn’t notice. For example, Rose’s dad says he hired Walter and Georgina to care for his parents, and when his parents died, “I couldn’t bear to let them go.” The first time you see the film, it sounds like the “them” is Walter and Georgina. But in retrospect, it’s clear the “them” he couldn’t bear to let go was his parents, so he sacrificed Walter and Georgina for them. Which, again, is an example of how the supposed care of the white characters for the black characters (his care for Walter and Georgina, Rose’s care for Chris) is really all about caring for themselves and treating the black characters as completely interchangeable objects.

The message of the film isn’t simply that the black characters are “good” and the white characters are “bad.” There are presumably—hopefully—many good white people in the world of this film, and many others who wouldn’t do what the Armitages are doing but also probably wouldn’t believe Chris or make the effort to stop it. Peele’s mother and wife are both white, so he’s clearly not trying to paint all white people as villains. 

But I admit, as a white guy, I really, really wanted Rose to be good. I’ve been the white person in an interracial relationship introducing my black boyfriend to my family. I’ve been that. So I related to Rose, and I really wanted to believe that she was well-intentioned and just oblivious; even though she misses the mark on several occasions, there are times that she seems like she gets it and she really does listen to Chris. When a cop asks to see Chris’s ID early in the film even though he wasn’t driving, Rose stands up against the obvious racism, showing us all what it looks like for white people to do the right thing. “That was hot,” Chris says to her later, and I thought, yeah, that’s who I want to be.

So I have to admit, it was really upsetting to me to see Rose, the only good white character left in the film, turn out to be evil. But I realized that part of that is that I really wanted her to represent me, and that’s really the point. Just think how often horror films have only one black character who dies early on, and how many films of all genres have no significant black characters for audience members to look up to or identify with. I think it’s really important for white audiences to experience that.

As I’ve reflected on the film, it seems to me like there are three kinds of popular movies about people of color. There are those that feature POC characters that are essentially indistinguishable from the white characters—as if they just decided to cast Morgan Freeman instead of Tom Hanks without giving any thought to the character’s race. Then there are the movies that deal with racism, but in a way that allows white people to feel good about ourselves, because we’re not like the characters in the film. (This is especially true for movies about racism in the past; some of them are very important films, like Hidden Figures, which I loved, but we need to be aware that it’s still easy for white America to treat it as a feel-good film and think that we’re off the hook because we no longer have separate restrooms.) And finally, there are movies that focus more directly on the lives of people of color but tend to draw largely audiences of color; not many white people go see them, because we think they’re not “for us” (even though we assume films about white people are for everyone).

Get Out isn’t any of those. It’s drawing a broad audience but it’s not afraid to make white people uncomfortable. And if you can give me, a white guy, a chance to have even a momentary fraction of an experience of the real-life, modern-day, casual racism facing people of color in America, I think that’s a very good thing.

trans!peter parker

hello i have seen homecoming three times now and i’m obsessed and in love with everything about the movie and the trans!peter headcanon

The first thing i heard about trans!peter was a post talking about how being bullied for being a nerd in school really isnt a common thing anymore, at least in america, and, if anything, in my experience, it tends to be the smartest kids that are actually the most popular. And the post raised the question: So what if peter is actually bullied because he’s trans? And that makes so much sense. And being a trans boy in high school myself and absolutely on board with the headcanon i thought i’d join in and add some things. Some of these other people may have talked about also.

  • “I am not a GIRL. IM A BOY. I mEAN IM A MAN.” peter gets very upset when donald glover’s character calls him a girl. his voice breaks and he gets visibly flustered.
  • Flash calls him “Penis Parker”. speaking from experience, high school bullies are not very creative with nicknames and will always go straight for the deepest insecurity they know. I personally think this is a dig at peter being trans.
  • Peter has proportionally quite small hands and feet. 
  • He enjoys playing with things like Legos and Star Wars action figures. possibly because he didn’t get to when he was little.
  • He has quite a high pitched voice which he has difficulty controlling the depth of.
  • May’s comment about his body changing and him not feeling like he can fit in at a classmate’s party makes much more sense if you think of peter as trans.
  • Ned asks Peter if the spider venom gave him the ability to lay eggs, which is a bizarre question to begin with, but even stranger if being asked of an amab person. but this likely doesn’t have any substance as it was obviously just meant to be a funny moment, which it was, i laughed out loud all three times i heard it.
  • Peter doesn’t have much in the way of sideburns.
  • He’s pretty short.
  • I personally never saw a spidey bulge. now it’s possible it was toned down or edited out but it was definitely visible on the last two versions of spiderman and i don’t know why this one would be any more edited than them.
  • He doesn’t know how to tie a tie. Now this seems unimportant at first, but i actually think it could mean a lot, so hear me out. Considering how many clubs and extra curriculars he’s in (robotics, marching band, decathlon, etc.) he should have been to many recitals, concerts, competitions, etc that would require him to wear a tie throughout his intermediate and high school years. It’s weird that neither him nor may would know how to tie one. unless- he’s never done it before because he’d always worn the traditionally feminine uniform or formal wear. 
  • Now, there’s those two shirtless scenes that some people have been using to discredit the headcanon where he’s clearly muscular and flat chested with no visible scars. Well, my doubtful friends, there’s the possibility of a keyhole surgery which leaves minimal scarring. Also, the spider venom increases muscle growth and metabolism, and also gives peter a mild healing factor. This could have caused any scars he had to heal and fade completely. 

now obviously i realize not all of this inherently means he’s trans. cis guys can be short or have small hands and feet or high pitched voices or rounder hairlines, especially when they’re only 15 years old and everyone is growing at a different rate. These things just flesh out the headcanon a bit more. 

tl;dr: Peter Parker is an endlessly adorable trans boy and the hero we all need.

Into You [Side to Side Pt. 2]

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Request(s)(Ooh boy here we go):

  • Wow! I loved your Peter Parker imagine. Pleeaaassseee do more of those because damnnnn
  • side to side is soo perfect akhjjkfjkas im in love pls write another part
  • Park 2 for side to side?
  • Can I please get a continuation to side to side. Please!!! I loved it, could it be the smutty continuation please ❤️ Love your writing BTW

Word Count: 3148… I got carried away with this… Sorry/not sorry

Song: Gee I wonder… Into You by Ariana Grande

Summary: You and Peter work out what happened at the gym in the most sinful way possible… by doing it again. Only this time, you get it right.

Warnings: Sinsinsinsinsin, swearing, oral (both receiving), creepy Flash, idk if there are any warnings that aren’t smut related tbh

Author’s Note: I need to specify apparently, both Peter and the reader are the same age. Nothing illegal is happening in this, don’t hate on me. ALSO! This is my first smut ever. Pass me some holy water, y’all this is some spicy shit.

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Remember how Ron Weasley sat with Harry on the Hogwarts Express his first day of Hogwarts not only because it was the only place, but because he saw that Harry was sitting alone? 

Remember that time when Ron Weasley wrote home to his mother that Harry wasn’t expecting any Christmas presents so that she could send him something?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley told Neville Longbottom that he was worth 12 of Malfoy?

Remember when “Ron was the only one who stood by him”? 

Remember when 12 year old Ron Weasley sacrificed himself to a chess game so that Harry could move ahead to stop Snape (Quirrell) from getting the Philosopher’s Stone?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley fiercely defended Hermione when Malfoy called her a mudblood?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley was terrified of spiders but went following them into the forest anyways for his friend?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley turned up at Harry’s house in the middle of the night to rescue him because he was worried that Harry wasn’t answering his letters?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley stayed at Hogwarts over Christmas because he didn’t want his best friend to be lonely?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley completely took over the studying for Buckbeak’s trial?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley stood on a broken leg in front of his best friend and told the man they thought was a mass murderer that if he wanted to kill Harry he would have to kill him as well?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley was personally insulted and guilty about the fact that he had been keeping the man who had betrayed his best friend’s parents as a pet?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley told Harry that they were coming to get him whether or not his aunt and uncle liked it?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley was the thing that Harry would miss most, even after he had fought with him just earlier that year?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley gave up time he could have been studying for his exams to help Harry prepare for the third task?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley used his powers as a prefect to defend Harry to the students who thought that Harry was lying about You-Know-Who?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley kept standing by his best friend all year even though it labelled him as a liar as well?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley fully supported the idea of Harry teaching them Defence Against the Dark Arts and stood up for him to Zacharias Smith who was being extremely rude to Harry?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley was absolutely furious about what Umbridge was doing to Harry in his detentions?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley removed the junk from on top of the knitting that Hermione put out to free the house elves because he knew it would be insulting and rude for them to pick it up without realizing it?

Rember that time when Ron Weasley supported Harry’s decision to talk to Sirius telling Hermione that Harry could “make his own decisions”?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley immediately agreed to go and save Sirius from the ministry?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley stood by Harry even after hearing about the prophecy which said that his best friend would either be killed by Voldemort or kill Voldemort?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley helped Harry find out what horcruxes were and get the memory from Slughorn? 

Remember that time when Ron Weasley told Hermione to lay off on Harry about the Potions book and cursing Malfoy, because obviously Harry never wanted to hurt anybody?

Remember when Ron Weasley supported his best friend even though he was dating his little sister?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley stayed and defended Hogwarts when Death Eaters broke into the castle, even though he could have stayed safe by staying away?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley agreed to leave school to help his best friend destroy the horcruxes and told him that they would be there whatever happened?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley risked his life by taking the form of Harry to help him get safely away from Privet Drive?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley was a source of comfort to Hermione when she was upset about the fact that her parents didn’t remember who she was?

Remember that time when Ron was the source of all of the important information on the ministry when Harry, Ron, and Hermione needed to break in to get the horcrux?

Remember how Ron kept wearing the horcrux even though it was affecting him in a way much stronger than it did Harry and Hermione? Remember how he did that without complaint, accepting that it was all of their jobs to wear it?

Remember how Ron Weasley regretted leaving the moment he did?

Remember how he came back and saved Harry’s life?

Remember how Ron Weasley knew there was no excuse for him, but came back anyways, not expecting his friends to forgive him, but because he had promised he would be there?

Remember how Ron became the driving force of the trio after he came back, keeping them moving and on track, trying to make up for his mistake, still not expecting to be forgiven or even feeling like he deserved it?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley flat out refused to hand over Harry to Xeno Lovegood in exchange for Luna?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley screamed for him to be tortured instead of Hermione at Malfoy Manor? Remember how he ran around screaming her name and sobbing, wishing it was him instead of her?

Remember when Ron Weasley discovered a way to destroy the cup and made sure to get it destroyed?

Remember that time when Ron Weasley defended the House Elves saying that they couldn’t order them all to die for them?

Remember how Ron Weasley screamed out in defiance against Voldemort after they believed Harry to be dead? Remember how he continued to fight even though he knew what would happen if they lost?

Remember when Ron was the very best friend that someone could ever even ask for and how he was so loyal, kind, brave, and just an all around great guy?

Remember how Ron Weasley was a teenage boy who made mistakes but always acknowledged them and apologized, and never tried to make it seem like he didn’t do anything wrong? Remember how when he messed up he always worked hard to make his relationships stronger afterwards?

Ron Weasley is a great friend. Anyone who disagrees can fight me.

Bygones of the Sun | 02 (M)

Originally posted by hobismole

Genre: Angst/fluff/(future)smut || dance captain!hoseok, bad boy!au, uni!au

Pairing: Reader x Hoseok

Length: 5.0k

Summary: Jung Hoseok was once the sweetheart of the school, the dance captain whom every girl, including you, can’t help but fall head over heels for. But like the force of the ever-glowing sun, everything that rises must also set. A year of inactivity later and he’s now the school’s resident bad boy. You’re a firm believer of allowing the past be the past, and yet you can’t help but wonder where the risen sun has gone into hiding—because perhaps its shadows have out-shined its own radiance.

01 | 02 | 03

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Shiro Meta: “I want you to lead Voltron”

So a lot of people have been talking about why Shiro chose Keith to lead Voltron if anything happened to him. I’ve seen this attributed to Shiro’s favouritism or bias towards Keith, but I have another take on things: Shiro’s choice of Keith as his successor reflects his own insecurities about his suitability as leader.

We know Shiro harbours serious doubts about his ability to lead Voltron. In 1x09 Shiro hears Sendak’s voice in his head telling him “Did you really think a monster like you could be a Voltron Paladin?” And in 2x03 when Allura tells him: “You are the Black Paladin now, not Zarkon,” Shiro disagrees: “Yeah, well - the Black Lion may have a different take on the matter.”

See this? This is the face of a man who fully expects to get spat out of his Lion again at any moment. (If you want a really long and interesting meta about Shiro’s relationship with the Black Lion following the S1 finale, read {it’s all about trust} by @headspacedad)

Coming out of that battle with Zarkon in 1x11, Shiro no longer knows if the Black Lion trusts him, or if he can trust her. And it’s easy to see why: the Black Lion forcibly ejected him from the cockpit in the middle of battle. He thought they’d bonded; now it seems like they haven’t.

{relationship status: IT’S COMPLICATED}

But his insecurities go deeper than that: during that climactic battle at the end of season 1, not only was Shiro ejected from his own Lion, he also had a full-blown panic attack onboard the Galra ship and had to be rescued by Hunk and Allura. Allura - the person he’d come to rescue in the first place - ended up saving him.

Right after this battle, an injured Shiro crash-lands on an alien planet and tells Keith: “If I don’t make it out of here - I want you to lead Voltron.” And it’s not just because he’s injured. He thinks he’s failed as a leader. And in that moment, he probably fully expects the Black Lion to reject him again. Or maybe he expects Allura to take him aside and just quietly tell him “Look, it’s not working out. We need to pick someone else as the Black Paladin.” Because how can you lead Voltron if you can’t even keep control of your own Lion? How can you lead Voltron if you panic in the middle of battle?

For the record: I think Shiro is DEAD WRONG and he’s an amazing leader and I have so many feelings about how great Shiro is and what it means to see a mentally ill character in a leadership role but I DIGRESS. The point is: Shiro spends much of season 2 battling his own feelings of inadequacy about his position as Black Paladin.

Shiro’s line that “The Black Lion may have a different take on the matter” reflects his own belief that the Black Lion doesn’t want him as a Paladin. He thinks she’d rather have someone else - someone who’s less of a walking disaster. And again: I really don’t think she does, and I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about this that I will probably write up at some point, but that’s not the point. The point is Shiro firmly believes that he’s not good enough to be the Black Paladin, and that the Black Lion would rather be piloted by someone else.

Someone like Keith.

Remember that battle at the end of season 1? Whilst Shiro was getting spat out of the Lion and having a panic attack, Keith was doing this:

Yep, just casually taking on Zarkon one-on-one, without hesitation. Not only does Keith intervene to save the Black Lion from Zarkon’s grasp - he also fights Zarkon head-to-head, repeatedly charging back into the attack with no regard for his own safety.

Shiro must have seen and heard this and thought: “That’s the kind of Paladin the Black Lion deserves. That’s the kind of Paladin she wants.” A brave and decisive leader, not a hot mess. Someone who’ll charge at Zarkon head-first; who can keep it together in the midst of battle. Shiro thinks he should have been the one battling Zarkon, not Keith. As Black Paladin and leader of Voltron, he should have been the one to charge at Zarkon and try and take him down. Instead, he was having a panic attack, and Keith was the one who stepped up.

Shiro chooses Keith to be the next leader of Voltron because he thinks Keith is the kind of leader Voltron needs, and the kind of Paladin the Black Lion deserves.

It doesn’t particularly matter that this choice doesn’t make a lot of sense, or that the team might be better off with a more cool-headed and thoughtful leader. This is not a rational decision on Shiro’s part. It’s a decision rooted in his own insecurities. His decision-making is flawed: not because of bias or favouritism, but because of his own sense of inadequacy. He looks at Keith and sees someone who will take on Zarkon without hesitation. He looks at himself and sees a failure. And he concludes that Keith is the kind of Paladin the Black Lion wants - that she would rather have Keith than him.

And the Black Lion spends most of season 2 proving him wrong, but that’s a meta for another day.

(thank you @bentfire for the screencaps btw)

anonymous asked:

Loving the text messages!! Keep up the good work! Also if you don't mind could you describe darks and antis personalities according to you?

Absolutely!!! Beware though, I’m about to wax poetic because I LOVE these two characters. I’m sorry that this post is so long but I’m NOT putting it under a cut because I worked on this for over a fucking hour instead of writing my history paper and I want at least one person to actually read it. :P

I’m gonna go a little in depth with what I believe is their canon personalities according to my interpretation and then how I incorporate those interpretations into Texts From Dark And Anti. Some of you may be surprised to find that I actually heavily take their canonical personalities into account when I make my edits; it’s not all just dick jokes and memes for the sake of notes. Texts From Dark And Anti is my love letter to these two characters, and I’ve gone to great lengths to portray them in the best way possible.

But enough babbling. Let’s start with Dark.

CANON PERSONALITY: Master Manipulator and Sexual Predator

Originally posted by markimemey

Per Mark, Dark is a master manipulator. He’s a snake in the grass, ready to tell you anything and everything you need to hear in order to get what he wants from you.

I’d argue that this often works for him. Obviously he’s a very good actor if he’s able to mimic Mark perfectly in the “Chocolate” ending, so that makes me think that he’s able to assume whatever personality and/or extend whatever favors he needs to to trick his victims into abiding by him.

But it’s also worth mentioning that Dark’s biggest weakness (arguably) is his jealousy. As Mark said, Dark’s extremely jealous of Mark, and he wants everything that Mark has: wealth, fame, success, and devoted fans. I’d be willing to believe that that last thing is what rubs Dark wrong the most.

Evidence? Mark’s fans are exactly what he goes after. Wanna know what’s freakier? IT FUCKING WORKED.

Mark took all of his fans out on a date. All of us adored him for it. Dark got jealous of this, so he infiltrated the date and tried to get us to support him instead. And when Tyler Mark showed up to fight him, Dark didn’t kill him himself. He manipulated us into doing it for him.

And what brings this home is that Dark has had the longest lasting potential out of anything to come out of this video. All of the other memes and references have lost their luster by now, but the resurgence of Dark-related fan art, ask/rp blogs, edits, and memes are still going strong. Dark infiltrated our date and convinced us to love him and worship him the same way that we do Mark, and we fucking fell for it.

So why does he do this? Is it just because he’s a jealous prick? Partially, but I think that, canonically, there’s more to it. I think it’s because he thrives on his ability to hold power over people, which is comparable to–get ready for it–sexual predators.

Dark exhibits a lot of the traits we normally attribute to these criminals. He’s attractive, charismatic, extremely manipulative, and sadistic. He says things like, “I can give you anything,” and, “If it’s dinner you want, I can provide.” Provide is an interesting word choice here, because that’s what society has dictated the man in a relationship should do. He even acts seductive: arching his neck, eye-fucking the camera, and he even blows us a kiss (see below). But the way that he grabs and shakes us periodically throughout his mental breakdown betrays his inner sadism and anger issues, also common among sexual predators. I absolutely think that based on Dark’s behavior and what we know about him, he’s totally down to fuck anyone and everyone in order to get what he wants–consensual or otherwise. And I definitely think he’ll enjoy it.

Originally posted by mirrorthehorse

I wouldn’t necessarily say that Dark is a nymphomaniac. As an otherworldly being, it’s entirely possible he doesn’t even have a sex drive. But sexual predators don’t usually rape their victims just to get their dicks wet. Usually, it’s a power issue; they want to feel like they have mastery over something, and that they are dominant and in control. Given Dark’s obsession with taking all of Mark’s glory away from him, coupled with his violent mood swings and sadism, I would say that sexual assault is probably just one of the many ways he appeases his insatiable appetite for power and manipulation. And I’d even bet that it’s one of his go-to’s.

In Texts From Dark And Anti, I normally portray Dark as a bitter old demon who doesn’t understand memes and doesn’t want to put up with anybody’s shit. But I didn’t just do this for fun; I did it because I could see Dark being jaded in real life. Off-camera, when he’s not trying to seduce us into adoring him over Mark, I could see him being sick of being overlooked. He’s old, even by Mark’s channel’s standards, and up until “A Date With Markiplier”, he wasn’t mainstream in the fandom at all–not fun for someone who craves the adoration of others. So he’d definitely be off-put by Anti’s much younger, more erratic personality, and in a bad mood he’d bitch at him for it. But in a good mood, he’d use it to his advantage to get whatever he wants–sex, souls, and anything else his blackened heart desires, both for the reward and the thrill of not having to do it himself.

Now let’s talk about Anti.

CANON PERSONALITY: Chaotic Psychopath

Originally posted by treblegirl

Jack has been near-silent on his personal interpretation of Anti (although he’s stated that he definitely has a personal canon that he refuses to share, the little fucker), so all of this is going to come from speculation and what we see onscreen.

While Dark chose to make his debut in one long, continuous, elegant appearance, Anti showed up randomly throughout the month of October, with no prelude and no explanation as to why he was there. Also in contrast to Dark’s smooth, charismatic personality, Anti is visibly unstable, jittery, and psychotic. Both he and Dark exhibit bloodlust, but Anti doesn’t hide it. He doesn’t hold back any of his sociopathic tendencies, going so far as to murder his host on camera for the world to see.

We don’t exactly know what Anti’s agenda is, but that’s just it: I don’t think he has one. At least, not one beyond the psychotic urge to kill as much and as many people as he can. Even in “Say Goodbye”, all he does is laugh at/condemn the viewer for not warning Jack and saving him. The other times he was on camera in October, he was glitchy, with several different appearances (fangs, gauges, blood, etc.) and contorted, unsettling body movements, making me think that Anti is a supernatural being that thrives on chaos and bloodshed.

But  Anti doesn’t just want to cause havoc–he wants to cause havoc and get the credit he deserves for it. That’s why he showed up so much on camera without Jack noticing; he was there for us, not him. Then he made a big deal about us not telling Jack what was going on, condemning us for our failure to make his existence well-known. Then he crashed Jack’s panel at PAX, angry at us for “forgetting” him. He’s not trying to garner our support like Dark is; if anything, he wants us to be terrified of him.

Originally posted by redthereaper07

But personally, if I had to choose between being locked in a room with Dark and being locked in a room with Anti, I’d choose Anti in a heartbeat. Because even though Anti is more obviously psychotic, at least I’d know I would be killed quickly–unlike Dark, who would torture and manipulate me verbally, physically, and possibly even sexually for an indeterminate amount of time. This is Anti’s downfall, I think; Dark disguises his true nature with seduction and charisma, but because Anti’s so unpredictable and surface-level, he identifies himself as a very obvious threat, ironically making him a little easier to understand.

Thus, my interpretation of him in Texts From Dark And Anti reflects this (albeit in a more comedic way). Anti loves memes and silly trends because he wants to stick out in a way that’ll gain recognition. He’s more up-to-date with Internet trends and slang because he’s much younger than Dark–but that also means that he’s more gullible, and a lot of simple things go over his head. Basically all of his emotions are double that of Dark’s, and he makes no efforts to disguise them. He’s also much more privvy to senseless murder than Dark. This speaks highly of his psychotic tendencies and general disregard for any order or secrets he could be bothering to keep. What you see of Anti is what you get: an easily-excitable, always-ready-to-fuck-shit-up killing machine.

Originally posted by markired

So…yeah. That’s pretty much my piece. Told you it’d be long. X’D

But tysm for asking!! And if any of you bothered reading this far, PLEASE reblog or leave a reply with your thoughts on my interpretation of these two characters and how you characterize them personally. I’m super crazy interested in the lore around these two (or lack thereof), which is why I created Texts From Dark And Anti in the first place. ^_^

Fifth Time’s the Charm (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Summary:  Bucky gave himself five chances. Five chances to tell you that he loved you and that he would do anything for you. If by the end of his five chances he didn’t tell you, Bucky would take it as a sign from the universe that you and him just weren’t meant to be.

Word Count: 2,499

Warnings: Fluff, like one curse word

A/N: Okay I know I said that the next imagine that would be posted would be a requested one but this popped up into my head today and I just HAD to write it! I hope you all enjoy! FYI, (E/C) means ‘eye color.’

Tag List: @mp938368 @gcneral-organa @thatgirlsar @jumperswellies@quicksoldier @kitkatgaming @marvelfandom-stuff @itsmaytimetosaygoodbye@agentraven007 @marvelgoateecollection @thaniya82 @thats-so-rhyan@hymnofthevalkyries

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by little--batman

Beautiful.

That was just one of the many adjectives that James Buchanan Barnes would use to describe you.

Intelligent. Charming. Motivated. Determined. Kind, oh so kind.

James Buchanan Barnes was so in love with you.

Or in other words:

Whipped. Smitten. Infatuated. Enamored. So desperately head-over-heels in love with you.

Yeah, Bucky was in trouble. Why was he in trouble? He could not gain enough courage to admit his feelings to the love of his life. So, he set up a little challenge for himself. Bucky gave himself five chances. Five chances to tell you that he loved you and that he would do anything for you. If by the end of his five chances he didn’t tell you, Bucky would take it as a sign from the universe that you and him just weren’t meant to be.

Oh, God, Bucky thought nervously as he decided to go through with this plan. This better work.


The first chance Bucky got to admit his feelings was at one of Tony’s famous parties. 

The night was beautiful. Not a cloud in the sky, allowing all of the stars to finally emerge and shine brightly. It wasn’t too hot, it wasn’t too cold. It was just perfect.

And there you were, sitting in your gorgeous navy blue dress that showed off all the right things, at the bar. And you were talking to another man.

Bucky was immediately filled with panic. Thoughts of oh, no. I’m too late, were running rampant through Bucky’s mind as he watched the man flirt with you.

And to make it even worse, you were flirting back.

When the man finally left to go somewhere else, Bucky seized his chance.

Striding up to you, Bucky said the first thing that came to his mind: “Hiya.”

‘Hiya’?! Bucky thought angrily to himself. When did I start saying ‘hiya’?!

Trying to regain his cool, Bucky quickly cleared his throat as you giggled behind your hand. 

“Hey, Bucky,” You smoothly said. “What’s up?”

“The ceiling,” Bucky quickly said before reddening. Stop it, stop it, stop it! Bucky chastised himself.

Giggling once more, you gently nudged his arm. “No, seriously. What’s up?”

Breathing deeply, Bucky carefully thought out his next words. “Oh, nothing. Hey, um, (Y/N), there’s something I want to tell you…”

“What is it?” The hope was evident in your voice.

Mustering up all the courage Bucky could find, Bucky asked “Can we go somewhere else, first?”

With a nod of your head, you were about to walk away when the man from before walked back towards you.

“I got lost on my way to the bathrooms. This place is a maze!” He exclaimed, earning a forced laugh from you. Sensing that the moment and his chance was gone, Bucky stepped back.

“I’ll see you later, (Y/N)…” Bucky mumbled as he turned away from you and his first chance.


The second chance Bucky got to admit his feelings was during a mission.

You and Bucky were paired up together (Bucky had to restrain himself from shouting with joy when he heard that he would be with you on this mission) and things were going smoothly. 

Until someone decided to detonate the bombs early.

With a deafening boom!, the building above you and Bucky began to shake violently. Grasping onto your hand, Bucky led the way out of the crumbling building as you ran for your lives.

Huffing and puffing next to an abandoned building, the two of you tried to catch your breath. Everything around you was covered in a cloud of smoke and debris. If you didn’t know better, you wouldn’t of been able to tell that it was Bucky who was holding your hand so tight because of how bad the cloud was around you.

“Bucky, we need to get out of here,” You coughed, bringing your other arm to your face in attempt to block the thick smoke from entering your lungs.

“I know, Doll, I know,” Bucky reassured, eyes flitting back and forth. “I’ll get you out, I promise, I’ll get you-”

But Bucky was cut off once more by another bomb detonating inside the building next to you. The ringing in your ears was deafening as Bucky pulled you away from the ruined building into the safety of the tree line.

“(Y/N)?! (Y/N)?! Are you okay?!” Bucky shouted, but you couldn’t hear him. The previous bomb had knocked out your hearing. 

“(Y/N), listen to me,” Bucky said as he dragged you away from the battle that was raging in the city. Things were getting bad, really bad, in a short amount of time. “(Y/N), if we don’t make it, I need to tell you something.”

You knew Bucky was saying something, but you couldn’t hear him. The smoke was clouding your vision too, so much so that you couldn’t even read his lips.

“(Y/N), I-” But Bucky was cut off once again. Vision had found the two of you, right when the battle was getting near to you. Picking the both of you up, he flew you back to the awaiting quinjet.

And just like the abandoned city below, Bucky’s second chance of admitting his feelings to you were blown to pieces.


The third chance Bucky got to admit his feelings was at the pool party being thrown just for the Avengers.

It was a very stressful past couple of weeks, so to give everyone a chance to relax, Clint was throwing a pool party at his house.

Bucky had spent the entire day trying to gain the nerve to talk to you. After seeing you in your swimsuit, Bucky’s eyes almost popped straight out of his head at the sight of you. You were absolutely stunning in that black bathing suit. Bucky could barely take his eyes off of you.

So, with a little pep-talk he gave to himself, Bucky decided to go tell you how he felt. Walking towards you, careful not to slip in the puddles around him, Bucky finally reached you. You had just stood up from your lounge chair and you were readjusting everything so that it was more comfortable to you. 

Seeing Bucky in the corner of your eye, you spun towards him. “Hey, Sarge.”

Oh, God, Bucky gulped. He absolutely loved it when you called him that.

Smiling reassuringly at him, you waited patiently for him to snap out of his reverie.

“Oh, hey. Look, there’s something I have been trying to tell you lately…” Bucky said, blue eyes drifting to your (E/C) ones.

“Yes?”

“Okay, well I-” But that was all Bucky got out before he was grabbed by the ankle and pulled into the cold water. 

Swimming back up to the surface, Bucky pushed back his soaking wet hair as he glared menacingly at Sam who had just pulled him in.

“Dude, what the hell?!” Bucky yelled at Sam, who was laughing.

“Payback,” He said with a devilish grin as he quickly swam away. Looking back up at you, Bucky saw that you were already pulled into a conversation with Thor.

And there went chance number three, Bucky thought dejectedly to himself as he grabbed onto the nearest inner tube, floating away from you.


Bucky was getting desperate by the time chance number four came around. This chance came in the form of a spur-of-the-moment camping trip, suggested by none other than his best pal, Steve.

So there you all were, hiking up the mountain side to your campsite because “driving there would just be too easy.”

Sometimes, Bucky really hated Steve.

After hiking up a mountain all day, you all had finally reached your campsite. The entire group was tired and cranky, Bucky included. All Bucky wanted to do was take a nap, preferably with you by his side.

As the day ended and as tired Avengers retreated to their tents, the only two that were left around the campfire were you and Bucky. The night had grown cold, which Bucky was now thankful for, because you were snuggled up into his side as the two of you watched the flames flicker.

As sounds of owls and other creatures hooted and bustled around you, the crackling of the fire calmed you as you gazed up at the night sky.

“Which constellation is that one?” You yawned out as you laid down on the ground, pointing to the night sky. Following your lead, Bucky laid down next to you on the blanket.

“Which one?” Bucky asked, cheeks growing red because you had laid your head on his chest.

“That one,”

“Oh, that’s Orion,” Bucky answered as you squinted to try to make out the form of a man.

“Oh, I see it now. What about that one?”

“That’s Leo,” Bucky said as he grabbed your hand. Directing your hand, he had you point out a specific constellation. “And that’s Canis Major.”

“You’re so good at this, Buck,” You yawned, burying your face into his chest.

Heart quickening, Bucky realized that this was his fourth chance.

“(Y/N), I’m just going to say this. I love-” Interrupted by a subtle snore, Bucky’s words fell from his mouth as he realized that you had fallen asleep. 

“Sleep tight, Doll.” Bucky whispered to you as he gently kissed the top of your head. With a sigh, Bucky closed his eyes as his fourth chance twinkled out of existence, just like what will happen to the many stars above you.


The fifth and final chance that Bucky had to admit his feelings came on an ordinary day.

The two of you were sprawled out on the couch watching Bucky’s favorite show, Friends. You, of course had introduced Bucky to the wonders of Netflix. So there you two were, slouched on the couch in your sweats, watching Netflix.

Bucky loved Friends. He loved all of the characters and he loved comparing the characters in the show to his teammates. For example, Sam was a lot like Janice because he annoyed Bucky so much, just like how Janice annoyed Chandler. Sometimes, though, Bucky wasn’t Chandler. A lot of the time he was Ross. And just like what was happening to Ross in the episode that Bucky was watching, they both couldn’t admit their feelings to the love of their life.

Glancing down to you, Bucky took in your natural beauty. Hair messy and no makeup on, this was Bucky’s favorite version of you. Because you were just being his favorite person in the whole world, you.

Laughing at the show, your laughter snapped Bucky out of staring at you. 

“What?” You asked, finally noticing that Bucky was looking at you.

This is it, Bucky thought as he paused the show.

“Why’d you stop it?”

“(Y/N), just listen to me for a second,” Bucky started with a shaky breath. Eyes locked onto yours, Bucky grabbed your hand. “I find you incredibly beautiful.”

Heat rushing over your body, you go to protest but Bucky stops you.

“I know you don’t think so, and it kills me every time you say something mean about yourself. To me, you are the most beautiful person in the whole world. Not only are you beautiful, but you are intelligent, charming, motivated, determined, and kind, oh so kind. You make my days so much better just by existing. And right now, I am freaking out a lot but I need to tell you this,” mustering up all the courage that he had used in the past four attempts, Bucky finally did it. “I love you. I love you so much that it physically hurts when I am not near you. It hurts when I see you flirting with another man. It hurts when I think about how I could one day lose you. It hurts when others come between us. And it really hurts when you don’t realize that you shine more brightly than all of the stars in the universe combined. I know you probably don’t feel the same way, but I just needed to tell you. Tell you that I love you.”

Once Bucky finished, the room was filled with complete silence as you gaped at him. Nervousness and panic filled Bucky when you didn’t say anything. All you did was stare up at him, mouth hanging slightly open.

“Please,” Bucky pleaded, gulping back his panic. “Say something.”

Bucky was met with more silence until your melodic voice broke through.“W-who told you that I didn’t love you?”

Shock hitting Bucky like a tidal wave, it was his turn to stare at you with his mouth hanging open. “What?”

“I said,” You started, gaining confidence. “Who told you that I didn’t love you?”

Finally registering your words, Bucky’s eyes widened in shock. “Y-you love me?”

Face breaking out into a smile, you nodded at Bucky whose own face broke out into a smile.

Hands reaching out, Bucky grabbed your face and pulled it towards his as he placed his lips onto yours in a searing kiss. And boy, did it feel good. Bucky had almost moaned at the feeling of your lips against his. They were beautifully shaped, molding perfectly to his as one of his arms snaked around your waist, pulling you onto his lap. Your own hands went up to his hair, intertwining themselves in his chocolate brown locks as you smiled into this kiss. You could feel your heart soaring to the heavens as Bucky smiled into the kiss too. You had pulled away for a short moment to catch your breath, only to be pulled back in as your lips crashed against his again. Bucky’s arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you closer, as close as he could get to you. Your own arms wrapped around his neck as you tried to get even closer to him. The kiss was deepened with a swipe of Bucky’s tongue against your bottom lip to which you gladly accepted. 

Every time the both of you pulled away, you found yourself instantly pulled back into each other. The kisses were never ending as Bucky cradled your face in his hand. Pulling back breathless, your sweet breath fanned across Bucky’s face past your bruised lips. Chest heaving, Bucky rested his forehead against yours as you tucked pieces of his hair behind his ear.

“About time, Barnes,” You giggled as he placed a quick peck to your lips.

“What do you mean?” He asks with a goofy smile as he gazes at you in a bliss.

“I was beginning to wonder when you were going to say something. Why didn’t you try before?”

“Doll, I’ve been trying. Guess these past four times I’ve been trying to tell you just weren’t the right time.” Bucky smiled as his thumb swiped across your cheek.

“You mean all this time, you’ve been trying to tell me that you loved me?” You said, shock crossing your features.

“Doll,” Bucky chuckled, pulling you down for another kiss. “You have no idea.”

asianregret  asked:

Here is my first question, many people are comparing Lena to the evolution of Morgana. What are the similarities and differences between the two of them characteristically and plot wise. 😍

Ah, yes. Pull up a chair kids because this is a damn good question.

I think we can all pretty much agree that making Lena evil and killing her off would be some of the most lazy and cliche examples of writing ever to be dragged across our screens. We’ve been suffering enough through S2 of Supergirl and this plot twist (not actually a plot twist) would not only most likely be the last straw for us all, but it would be ridiculous.

I know some people like to hate on Lena for different reasons such as not liking SuperCorp or just assuming that she will be just another evil Luthor. I have some words for those that talk crap about my precious cupcake but let’s keep this friendly shall we? Sure, there are some parallels between Lex and Clark vs. Lena and Kara. You can have those. But they aren’t the only parallels that exist. The real plot twist is already in progress friends. The real plot twist is Lena actually being *gay gasp* GOOD! Whaaaaat? Who saw that coming!?

Some that are familiar with Katie’s work pre-Lena like to compare Lena to Morgana. Which is awesome might I add. However, some of these comparisons are cheaply used to explain exactly why Lena will be evil. Nope. The Katie McGrath Character Analyst™ is here to tell you that is weak.

So lets start this out by talking about Morgana. Most of you are familiar, I’m sure but for those that are not or need some refreshing, let’s do a quick fact list/breakdown.

The Lady Morgana Pendragon

Originally posted by missmysteriousm


  • Originally considered to be Camelot’s Favorite Daughter
  • Daughter of Vivienne
  • Raised by Uther Pendragon’s best friend, Gorlois
  • Adopted by Uther following Gorlois’ death
  • Turns out to be Uther’s biological daughter and older half-sister of Arthur Pendragon
  • Has a legitimate claim to the throne
  • Younger half-sister of Morgause
  • Former friend and eventual rival of Merlin
  • Eventual enemy of Camelot
  • Powerful magic wielder rivaled only by Merlin/Emrys
  • The Last High Priestess of the Triple Goddess

Okay, caught up? Cool. Morgana’s story is actually quite tragic (Of course it is! It’s Katie! What do you think this is?) But it is quite powerful as well. It has always been foretold that it was in Morgana’s destiny is to become the evil, all-powerful witch that the grew to be. But she was not always like that, and she didn’t have to be! Morgana started out as a sweet, innocent, yet still fiery young woman that had a huge heart and the love and respect of everyone. She could stand up for herself and had the wits to challenge everyone around her. At that point, the biggest issues in her life were her negative feelings toward Uther’s views of magic and those that had it, and the possibility that she may have magic herself. Let us consider the very important fact that Morgana suffered from several external factors that eventually led to her turn.

Uther Pendragon

Morgana always made it clear that she disliked Uther’s harsh methods when it regarded the treatment of sorcerers in and around Camelot. She didn’t think it was right or fair that an innocent person should be executed simply because of what they are. She was right! There were good people in the world that had magic and did not deserve persecution. However, Uther would hear none of her arguments and often acted aggressively toward Morgana when she spoke against him. At times, Uther went as far as laying hands on Morgana and even locked her in a cell until she apologized for calling him a tyrant and a madman – for speaking the truth. Morgana also learns the truth of how Gorlois (the man she believed to be her father died). He was sent to battle by Uther whom failed to send him the reinforcements he needed. This is something that was very difficult for her to handle. It eventually came to Morgana’s attention that she had been lied to her entire life. She discovered that she was actually Uther’s biological daughter from a time that he was involved with Vivienne (mother of Morgause) and that she was actually the rightful heir to the throne. After hearing the way Uther claimed to feel about her, she tried to give him a chance to come clean. Instead Uther decided to keep his secret saying the people do not need to know, thus denying Morgana and her birthright. After years of his crap, Morgana had enough of him. She hated him. She wanted him dead. Needed him dead. So she turned to our next evil inducing factor, Morgause.

Morgause

Ah Morgause and Morgana. Umm, MorMor? Was that a thing? People shipped them. Shippers, acknowledge and answer me! Was that name a thing?? Wait no, Morcest! That’s what it was. Okay. Got it. Thanks guys. This troubles me.

Anywho, Morgause obviously played a major role in Morgana’s turn. I’ll skip ahead really quick and say that Morgause was literally the only person that had enough opportunity, that actually tried to help Morgana explore her power. She helped Morgana embrace the magic that she was originally so afraid of. When meeting with Morgause one night, she explained that she hated the man the Uther had become and even had a chance to kill him but decided to save him instead. She regretted that decision. Morgause saw this and the trust Morgana has invested in her as an opportunity to use Morgana’s body as a vessel that hosted an enchantment that proved to be dangerous to Camelot. Morgana was of course, unaware of this and was not intentionally hurting anyone. This led to the final straw and evil inducing factor, Merlin.

Merlin (and Gaius and Kilgharrah)

I will keep this short because again, Merlin was a man that Morgana originally placed great faith and trust in. They went through a lot together and Morgana trusted him to keep her secret of having magic. Where did our “hero” go wrong? He lied to her. Kept the secret of having magic away from her despite knowing how he could help her. He decided to keep it a secret because the old man and the crazy locked up dragon told him so. Bad choice Merlin. Upon discovering Morgana’s alleged involvement in Camelot’s toil, he just up and poisoned her. That’s it. Tricked her. Poisoned her. Sat there and cried while he murdered the woman that was supposed to be his friend. Rude. Morgause was the one that came to her rescue. Case in point: If Merlin had been honest with Morgana from the beginning, she most likely would not have turned to Morgause. She would not have felt so alone. She would not have been taken away by Morgause and shaped into the evil, angry, and vindictive sorceress that she became. Merlin even acknowledged this point later.

The result: Evil!Morgana

Originally posted by ethan-chandlr

Good job team. Sloooow clap. Look what you did. Now she’s pissed.

So how does this all compare to our lil cupcake Lena Luthor?? Let’s see.

Firstly, this is tough because we had 5 seasons of our beautiful Morgana and only have ohhh about an hour or less of Lena (crime against humanity). Let me see what I can do, Chance.

Lena Luthor

Originally posted by suprcorp

So this is a novel and people hate me already soooo, tune in for Lena’s analysis OR a TL;DR after the break. Stay with me, lovelies!

Keep reading

SO LET’S TALK “WHO’S THE TRAITOR” SOME MORE

If you’ve never read my initial theory post, please do yourself a favor and check that shit out. It is a foundation for the theory that, regrettably, was missing a lot of information that I wasn’t able to get to until I was able to do a reread of the series, plus I wanted to wait for the series to develop a little further. The original post was made right after “Deku vs Kacchan 2” was released, so we’ve had about 30 chapters of development. You might be wondering how on earth 3k words isn’t enough to make my point the first time, but here I am yet again! 

I might sound crazy, but believe me when I say… I am the MOST serious. 

Keep reading

Things I loved about The Dark Prophecy: 

Once again, it starts with Apollo hating his humanity, something that I believe won’t change in some time, he was born a god, after all. Though I fervently believe that he is learning from his time as a mortal. 

Through the whole book, we are able to read some of his most selfish comments, which is to be expected, since he had always been portrayed as a selfish, self-centered god. However, we’re able to see his selfless and kind side, too. 

Example: 

From: 

“…It went against the very nature of being Apollo. I should always be the most obvious, brilliant source of light in the world. If you had to search for me, something was wrong.” 

And: “I tried to contain my bitterness. Soldiers and sailors were all very well, but if your city’s biggest monument is not Apollo, I’m sorry, you’re doing something wrong.” 

To: 

“You rescued me.” Then I added two words that never came easily to a god: “Thank you.” 

And

“When I was a god, I would’ve been delighted to leave the mortal heroes to fend for themselves. I would’ve made popcorn and watched the bloodbath from a distance on Mount Olympus, or simply caught the highlight reel later. But as Lester, I felt obligated to defend these people….I wanted to be here for them.” 

And: 

“Their eyes were so full of concern- concern for me- that I had to swallow back a lump in my throat. Six weeks we had been traveling together. Most of that time, I had fervently wished I could be anywhere else, with anyone else. But with the exception of my sister, had I ever shared so many experiences with anyone? I realized, gods help me, that I was going to miss these two.” 


These are some of the parts I loved the most about the book:

  • The Waystation. It’s nice to know of more demigod safe-spaces, more so when they’re under the loving care of Emmie and Josephine: 

We’ve saved a lot of demigods and other outcasts- raised them at the Waystation, let them go to school and have a more or less normal childhood, then sent them out into the world as adults with the skills they needed to survive.” 

It’s different from both Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter, where, no matter how much they protect you and care for you, it could never be as normal and comforting as being raised in a “normal” loving environment. 

  • The relationship between Apollo and Calypso: They hate each other, that much is perfectly clear…

“Lo!” I said. “I arrived at Camp Half-Blood as Lester Papadopoulos!” 

“A pathetic mortal!” Calypso chorused. “Most worthless of teens!” 

“-…her evil stepfather had poisoned her mind!”

“Poison!” Calypso cried. “Like the breath of Lester Papadopoulos, most worthless of teens!” 

“Lo!” I shouted. “From the Oracle of Dodona we received a prophecy- a limerick most terrible!”  

“Terrible!” Calypso chorused. “Like the skills of Lester, most worthless of teens!” 

Though as the chapters progress, it appears that it’s more of a mutual disagreement than actual hatred.  Apollo realizes how unfair their punishment on her was, and starts to feel like his own treatment towards her is unfair: 

“Just yesterday, I had toyed with the idea of leaving Calypso behind to the blemmyae when she was wounded. I’d like to say that it wasn’t a serious thought, but it had been, however briefly. Now Calypso refused to leave Meg, whom she barely knew. It was almost enough to make me question whether I was a good person…” 

And, in the end, they become friends. They still have much path to cover and much to discuss, but I believe they’re on good terms now. 

  • Calypso and Leo: 

One of the many topics vastly discussed after Blood of Olympus was how short and forced their relationship seemed. However, in The Dark Prophecy, we caught a glimpse of the reality they’re living on: 

They’re trying to discover who they are together, as a couple and as friends. We see their multiple fights and their disagreements, and I believe it’s a very good thing! They’re exploring the possibilities of their relationship! 

We see Calypso missing her island, we see her missing her powers, but most than anything else, we can see that Calypso and Leo truly love one another, and that they’re trying. It feels real, their problems, which only makes it better. It was to be expected that they’d be fighting and having problems, since they hadn’t talked much back on her island before he was forced to leave. They’re testing the waters, as Calypso explained. 

They’re trying to build a good future for each other, they’re even going to enter school together. I like how their relationship improved, I like that Rick portrayed and fixed the mess that was their relationship by the end of BoO. 

I also loved that Leo keeps calling her mamacita, and that Leo’s full name is actually Leonidas

  • In general, everything about Emmie and Josephine was pure perfection. 

They were hunters of Artemis, hunters who fell in love with one another and decided to choose each other over immortality. Their love was beautifully portrayed, and the fact that they adopted a daughter was even more precious for me and for everyone in the LGBT community.

I like that, on a similar topic, we had more explanation about the Hunters of Artemis and their rules: 

“All romance is off-limits. My sister is quite unreasonable in that regard. The mission of the Hunters is to live without romantic distractions of any kind.”

It makes more sense that the Hunters only being prohibited the company of men, as was stated by the Titan’s Curse. I like that Rick fixed that, too. 

AND ARTEMIS BEING COMPASSIONATE AND LETTING THEM LEAVE HER GROUP WITHOUT PUNISHING THEM, GODS BLESS HER SOUL. 

Also, Zeus forbidding Artemis from interfering with Apollo makes me so angry, but I didn’t expect anything less than that coming from him. It was good, though, that Artemis sent her Hunters to help Apollo discretely, just like when Apollo helped Percy and co. with rescuing Artemis and Annabeth. 

  • Apollo being thirsty as fuck: 

Apollo having the hots for Tall, Dark & Handsome Jamie. 

Apollo being a fluttering mess when talking to him, then feeling away as soon as he heard Jamie had a girlfriend. 

Apollo canonically having fantasies involving Thalia: “Thalia Grace climbed up behind me on the elephant- which fulfilled a daydream I’d once had about the pretty Hunter, though I hadn’t imagined it happening quite this way.” 

Apollo canonically doing all sort of stuff to get Britomartis’ attention. To get a “kiss” and a “cute date” from her. (We all know that he wanted more than just a date and a kiss, but alas, this is a “children’s book”

  • Apollo and Commodus: 

I’m aware that Commodus is evil, and I don’t like him as a character, but honestly, his relationship with Apollo killed me unlike any other relationship ever had. More specially, this: 

“Overhead, a white silk canopy billowed in the gentle breeze. Inn one corner, a musician sat discretely serenading us with his lyre. Under our feet spread the finest rugs from the eastern provinces. Between our two couches, a table was spread with an afternoon snack of roast boar, pheasant, salmon, and fruit spilling from gold solid cornucopia. 

I was amusing myself by throwing grapes at Commodus’ mouth. Of course, I never missed unless I wanted to, but it was fun to watch the fruit bounce off Commodus’ nose.

“You are terrible,” He teased me. 

And you are perfect, I thought, but merely smiled.”

And: 

“I didn’t mean to laugh at the expense of his distant wife, but part of me was pleased when he talked badly about her. I wanted all his attention for myself.” 

And, of course: 

“Commodus looked at me, panic in his eyes.

“Go,” I said, as calmly as I could, forcing down my misgivings. “You will always have my blessings. You will do fine.” 

But I already suspected what would happen: the young man I knew and loved was about to be consumed by the emperor he would become. 

He rose and kissed me one last time. Then he left the tent- walking, as Romans would say, into the mouth of the wolf. 

“Apollo,” Calypso nudged my arm.

“Don’t go!” I pleaded. Then my past life burned away. “ 

Never forget this hear-wrenching part: 

“As I often did for him after our workout sessions, I filled his great marble bath with streaming rose-scented water. I helped him out of his soiled tunic and eased him into the tub. For a moment, he relaxed and closed his eyes. 

I recalled how he looked sleeping besides me when we were teens. I remembered his easy laugh as we raced through the woods, and the way his face scrunched up adorably when I bounced grapes off his nose. 

I sponged away the spittle and blood from his beard. I gently washed his face. Then I closed my hands around his neck. “I’m sorry.”

I pushed his head underwater and began to squeeze. Commodus was strong. Even in his weakened state, he thrashed and fought. In had to channel my godly might to keep him submerged, and, in doing so, I must’ve revealed my true nature to him. 

He went still, his blue eyes wide with surprise and betrayal. He could not speak, but he mouthed the words: You. Blessed. Me. 

The accusation forced a sob from my throat. The day his father died, I had promised Commodus: You will always have my blessings, Now I was ending his reign. I was interfering in mortal affairs- not just to save lives, or to save Rome, but because I could not stand to see my beautiful Commodus die by anyone else’s hands. 

I hunched over him, crying, my hands around his throat, until the bathwater cooled. 

Britomartis was wrong. I didn’t fear water. I simply couldn’t look at the surface of any pool without imagining Commodus’ face, stung with betrayal, staring up at me.” 

Rick Riordan has a talent of portraying gods and their actions unlike anyone else. 

Apollo loved Commodus, he loved him deeply and wholeheartedly, but he couldn’t see anyone else killing his beloved Commodus. He killed him, for he could not stand the way the young man he loved had destroyed himself, turning into a murderous, evil emperor. 

For me, Apollo has always been a complex god. 

He said so himself in the first book, when he called his arrogance a pretense, when he mentioned he was a guilt-ridden, miserable god. He has never been good at love, for some reason, all of his lovers end tragically in one way or another, some by his own hand (Cassandra, Commodus, etc). It weighs him down more than he admitted when he was a god. As a mortal, he is more connected to his emotions, and is unable to put his usual facade of coolness and of arrogance. 

Everything he has done, every sin he has committed, weighs him down: 

“I imagined Trophonius’ head transposed on his body- my son’s agonized voice crying to the heavens, Take me instead! Save him, Father, please!

This blended with the face of Commodus, staring at me, wounded and betrayed as his carotid pulse hammered against my hands. You. Blessed. Me.

I sobbed and hugged the commode- the only thing that wasn’t spinning. Was there anyone I hadn’t betrayed and disappointed? Any relationship I hadn’t destroyed? 

  • And, since we’re talking about Apollo and his change, I’d like to mention his relationship with Meg. 

In the beginning, he could not stand her. Then by the end of the first book, he cared for her. Now, on this second book, the feeling grows and morphs into something so profound and so beautiful that I do not have words for it. 

“No! She was- she was trying to protect me.” I choked on the words. “She is my friend. Take me instead!”

And also:

“She is precious to you,” Said the Oracle. “Would you give your life in exchange for hers?”

I had trouble processing that question. Give up my life? At any point in my four thousand years of existence, my answer would’ve been an emphatic No! Are you crazy? One should never give up on one’s life. One’s life is important! The whole point of my quests in the mortal world, finding and securing all these ancient Oracles, was to regain immorality so I wouldn’t have to ponder such awful questions! 

And yet… I thought of Emmie and Josephine renouncing immortality for each other. I thought of Calypso giving up her home, her powers, and eternal life for a chance to roam the world, experience love, and possibly enjoy the wonders of high school in Indiana. 

“Yes,” I found myself saying. “Yes, I would die for Meg McCaffrey.”  

And lastly but not least important:

When Apollo shared Meg’s curse, slipping into her mind and trying to save her: “I would share this burden with her, even if it kills me.” 

What saved us what a simultaneous thought: Meg/Apollo needs me. 

There we had Apollo, someone that, supposedly, only cared about himself, risking his life, his human life, to save his little but beloved friend from madness and darkness. 

It’s a beautiful moment, more so for those of us that adore Apollo since before the PJO books. It’s a beautiful character development from the fuckboy we saw in Titan’s Curse; it’s a beautiful character development from the god that we met in the first TOA book, the god that could only feel annoyance towards Meg.

“Let the girl go,” I whimpered through the pain. “Kill me and let her go.” 

I surprised myself. These were not the last words I had planned. In the event of my death, I’d been hoping to have time to compose a ballad of my glorious deeds- a very long ballad. Yet here I was, at the end of my life, pleading not for myself, but for Meg McCaffrey.” 


  • The mention of other gods through the book: 

Apparently, gods have a weekly game night in Mount Olympus where Athena loves to gloat about her Scrabble scores. 

AND THIS SAVAGE LINES: (AKA: my cute, dorky ex-god being dorky as fuck)

“Ever since my famous battle with Python, I’ve had a phobia of scaly reptilian creatures. (Especially if you include my stepmother, Hera. BOOM!)

“I’ve always found spiders fascinating creatures, despite what Athena thinks. If you ask me, she’s just jealous of their beautiful faces. BOOM!” 

This important, yet short part: 

Leto knelt at Zeus’ side, her hands clasped in prayer. Her bronze arms glowed against her white sundress. Her long golden hair zigzagged down her back in an elaborate ladder weave. 

“Please, my lord!” She implored. “He is your son. He has learned his lesson!”

“Not yet,” Zeus rumbled. “His real test is yet to come.” 

I laughed and waved. “Hi, mom! Hi, dad!” 

There we have a glimpse of Leto being concerned over Apollo’s fate and we see that she cares. Zeus is, as always, being shady as fuck, and Apollo is super cute while hallucinating and being under the effect of the waters of Mnemosyne and Lethe. 

  • Apollo realizes how hard some demigods have it: 

From: 

“I’m new to these heroic-quest business. Shouldn’t there be a reward at the end? Not just more deadly quests?”

“Nope,” Leo said. “This is pretty standard.” 

My sweet, innocent Lester seems to forget that when he was Apollo, as a god, he never cared much for the quests he made demigods go through. 

“I wondered if demigods ever felt the need to restrain themselves when facing ungrateful gods like this. No. Surely not. I was special and different. And I deserved better treatment.” 

Had Percy Jackson been there, he would’ve written a gigantic thesis statement with a power-point presentation about how wrong Apollo was. 

Also, this part: 

“I knelt next to him- a boy of about sixteen, my mortal age. I felt no pulse. I didn’t know whose side he had fought on, but that didn’t matter. Either way, his death had gone to waste. I had begun to think that perhaps demigod lives were not as disposable as we gods liked to believe.” 

Finally, at the moment of war, Apollo realizes how easy it is for a mortal to die. And most times, demigods die because of the gods. 

  • The part where they find out Georgina might be Apollo’s daughter: 

The whole scene, though the most painful part was when Emmie asked if it was payback for having renounced to his gift of immortality: 

“I hadn’t known I could feel any worse, until I did. I really hate that about the mortal heart. It seems to have an infinite capacity of getting heavier. 

“Dear Emmie,” I said. “I would never. Even on my worse days, when I’m destroying nations with plague arrows or putting together set lists for Kidz Bop compilations, I would never take revenge in such a way…” 

That shows that he was a good god, even if he murdered and punished people, he had some kind of morality. He knew where his boundaries went: like when he mentioned that he flirted with the Hunters, but that he would never dare to go any further than that. 

Had it been Zeus, he would’ve raped them already; and canonically, on mythology, I’ve never read about any case of Apollo raping anyone. 

  • Also, I really liked that Rick added certain parts that showed that our actions, as mortals, are what define us and that, once we take one wrong decision, we cannot pray for better things when it is us that fuck things up. 

I’ve heard so many people complain that their prayers were never answered, that their God never helped them. They don’t seem to realize that God cannot help us if we don’t help ourselves first. 

It’s shown here: 

“Don’t blame me for you robbing the king’s treasury!” I snarled. “You are here because you messed up.” 

“I prayed to you!” 

“Well, perhaps you didn’t pray for the right thing at the right time!” I yelled. “Pray for wisdom before you do something stupid! Don’t pray for me to bail you out after you follow your worst instincts!” 

Apollo’s son, Trophonius, made wrong choices all his life, and when it came back to him, he wanted his father to miraculously save him. It doesn’t work like that, God/gods cannot help if we try to make them fix our whole lives. 

  • The way they temporarily defeated Commodus. (I found extremely pretty the way Apollo’s real form was revealed) (Finally we had an explanation as to why gods’ real forms are deadly to mortals: they’re pure light.)
  • The second chance Apollo gave Lityerses. “Everything alive deserves a chance to grow.
  • Lityerses sobbing when Emmie said he could be part of their family. 
  • All the “lit” jokes. And the commode ones too. 
  • “The two bumped fists as if they hadn’t spent the last few days talking about how much they wanted to kill each other. They would’ve made fine Olympian gods.” 
  • Little Georgina’s words to Apollo. How he told her he was there for her if she wanted to talk. How he was concerned about her, even if he was not sure if she was his daughter. 
  • You’ve built something good here, Hemithea.” I said. “Commodus could not destroy it. You’ll restore what you’ve lost. I envy you.” 

Everywhere he goes, Apollo seems to crave home. Not Olympus. Home, as in: a place where he’d feel loved and safe. In the 1st book, he wanted to stay in Camp with his children, now there, he admits that he craved the lovely home, the safe environment that they created at the Waystation. 

“It all felt so homey and cozy, I wanted to volunteer to wash dishes if it meant getting to stay another day.” 

  • Apollo trying to fix what he did to Agamethus by offering to go to the Underworld once he became a god again, to ask Hades to send him to Elysium. 
  • “Never underestimate the healing power of music.” 
  • Lit staying in the Waystation. 
  • Apollo mentioning that he believed in second chances, and that he could understand Lit since they had things in common- being attractive being one of those things. 
  • Apollo’s talking arrow only speaking bad Shakespearean English. 
  • Being productive. Urgh.Same, Apollo, same. 
  • The whole choo-choo scene, I don’t now why but I really really loved that part. 
  • The fact that WE MIGHT GET TO SEE REYNA, FRANK AND HAZEL ON THE NEXT BOOK.
  • GROVER UNDERWOOD IS FINALLY BACK. MY SON, MY BABY, MY FAVORITE ENCHILADA LOVER SATYR. HE WILL BE BACK. 

I must’ve missed many points, but this was already very long. In general, I really loved The Dark Prophecy, and I recommend everyone to read it as soon as they can! It is honestly so, so good. As good as the first one, I cannot wait for The Burning Maze

anonymous asked:

I'd love to hear your thoughts on La La Land's ending! If you don't mind.

SO HERE WE GO. I’ve heard a lot of think pieces/complaining about how the movie is about hollywood, or white men saving jazz, or unrealistically fulfilling your dreams all at once, etc., but I don’t see how you can watch that ending and come away with those things. Sure, the movie dabbles in all of that, and you can make commentary on how unrealistic that is, or in the case of John Legend’s role in the movie, how shitty it is—but then, there’s that ending. That glorious, perfect pitched ending.

The last we see of Mia and Sebastian together, they’re making a choice many of us have or will make in our lives; a turning point in a relationship, where you have to choose what you’re willing to sacrifice, or give to keep the love that you have. They make what I would say, as a person who has made this very choice, the right choice, and seperate for the good of their careers. And realistically, painfully so, that is a lasting break—we jump five years, and things have happened that make their separation permanent (Mia is married, she has a child). That’s startling and, because it happens so quickly instead of the slow and quiet way that it occurs in real life, unbelievable. We think, they’re playing a trick on us, this can’t possibly be where this movie of sparkling lights and love songs is going to end. But the longer the scene goes on, and we see Mia in the car with her husband, so comfortable, it starts to set in, and then, even though we know it’s coming, when she sees the sign at his club—the sign she made for him—we feel the way she does. It’s been five years for her, and she has that space that we, as an audience, were not given from the main storyline, so she’s surprised, and suddenly longing, and that’s an emotion we can feel. 

But the ending isn’t about where Mia finds herself, it’s about Sebastian. He plays his song, and the fantasy begins for him and we get to go along with it. Mia may have moved on, but Sebastian is closer to us, he still feels that sting when he sees her, much worse then she felt. The cinematography here is beautiful, and the music carries us through it, and it’s satisfying, just to retrace the steps of where we have already been with these characters, to hear the same cords they sang together. You can’t tell me it didn’t hit you when, in the bar, the music swelled and he walked right up to kiss her. 

Because this is from Sebastian’s point of view, we see the way he wished it had been, how they could have stayed together, and it is so firmly planted in what he could have done differently. Mia still takes the audition, gets the job, goes to Paris, but he never takes that job with the band, he’s there at her show, he goes to Paris with her. His fantasy includes being there for her, in a way that he never really was during their relationship. He puts her, her dreams and ambitions, first, so that in the end, Mia ends up exactly where she is now, where she’s meant to be, but she’s married to him instead. And even while he’s thinking of it, the unreality of that situation bleeds in—through the film set, the Van Gogh-esque swirls of Paris. It could never have been real, because he was a different man then, he would have always made those choices. He had yet to learn his lesson.

In the end, they are able to smile at each other and part again, because this isn’t a love story. This is a story about growing up. It’s a story about how a person can mean so much to you during one point in your life, how they can change you, can take up all of the space in your world completely, and how much you can love them in that moment—and how beautiful that is. It isn’t lasting, it’s not guaranteed, it’s something you may regret and dwell on over and over later, but it is beautiful. Sebastian’s dream looks so unreal because not only did it not happen, it couldn’t have happened; there were a gulf of reasons why the two of them never would have worked out, even if he had gone with her to Paris. 

But they changed each other. They nudged each other towards their futures. They were each other’s turning point, towards success, their dreams, all the things that felt out of reach when they met. So when they said, before they parted, I will always love you, what they really meant was; I will always love what you have given me. 

You’ve Still Got A Chance

Pairing/Characters: Steve Rogers x Reader, Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes
Warnings: Angst, the smallest bit of fluff, some deaths, blood
Summary: It’s been months since your last encounter with Steve, is there any chance you’ll take him back?
Word Count: 1.6k+
A/N: I am so overwhelmed by the amount of love and reactions from I Am Not Peggy! Because of all of that love, I started writing part two last night and just finished it off now… I wanna thank the bucky to my steve, @sickplanets for beta’ing this story, her reaction was priceless, i’m gonna insert a photo, give me a second:

 ANYWAY ENJOY!

READ I AM NOT PEGGY HERE

Originally posted by dailyteamcap

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Okay so I know there has been a lot of buzz around the internet about the subject of LaFou, sexuality, and queer representation lately and now that I’ve seen the movie, I want to put in my two cents. 

If you’ve been living under a rock for the last few weeks, many people have been talking about LeFou being gay and getting a “gay moment” at the end of the film. Vanity Fair put out an article calling the character “ a touching tribute” to Howard Ashman” Many of us LGBT+ folks are obviously not happy with this character, who is literally “the fool” being a bone that’s thrown to us. Many, including myself, where infuriated by the article because not only was Ashman the man who saved Disney from bankruptcy with hits like The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the beast and the formula he created is still successfully used by Disney today, he was a gay man who died of AIDS. So you can see why many of us think calling a villainous side character a “touching tribute” is a gross cop out on Disney’s part.  On the flip side, some christian parenting groups are made because our existence is acknowledged in anyway, even if the representation is bad. A theater in Alabama even refused to carry the film. Needless to say, many people had lots of opinions. 

All that being said, I’m not here to preach to the choir, nor am I here to argue with anyone about whether of not LGBT+ people are are “appropriate” for a disney movie( hint hint we are) I really want to talk straight people who don’t get why LGBT+ people are upset. I need to share my personal experience with the movie to maybe help some people understand. I know I can only speak for myself, but here it is.

I’ll start off by saying, overall, I enjoyed the shit out of this movie. Beauty and the Beast was one of my favorite films as a child. I knew all the songs, I was Belle for multiple halloweens. I loved the over the top, Rogers -and -Hammerstien esque feel of the remake, i liked the bright colors, the songs and grumpy clock Ian McKellan. I want to get lost in how much I loved it. But every time LaFou came on screen, he was like a fly in the ointment, the irritating itch that kept me from enjoying this ridiculous spectacle for exactly what it was, because every LaFou scene was a gay joke.His mannerisms were carefully an explicitly coded to be recognized as those of a gay man, which are not a bad thing on their own but they were played for laughs and combined with a comic, pining-induced subservience to Gaston. He’s hangs on Gaston’s every word, he tells the girls no to waste their breath, he soothes Gaston’s temper. He’s a joke, one we have seen many times before, a weasely ,queer-coded villain. It’s supposed to be funny to us because we know this silly gay man is NEVER going to have his affections returned and all his work if for not.( ie he’s making a fool of himself, so he’s aptly named)  It’s something you get used to when you’re queer and grow up watching Disney films though, so for the most part, I rolled my eyes and tried to enjoy the scenery. 

Until Gaston’s song started.

Now let me start by saying, that has ALWAYS been my favorite song in the film. I have a very naturally loud voice that carries and as a kid I loved to belt the shit out of it when it came on our Disney’s greatest hits CD. It drove my sister crazy on car trips. It’s so silly and it’s poking fun at this hyper masculine douche bag you’re not supposed to like. Luke Evans had been killing it up to that point and I was so jazzed about it. 

And then, we get LaFou, lounging on Gaston’s chair, gazing at him longingly. Gaston looks at him and asks why the girls to love him and LaFou sighs dramatically, like the comedic stereotype they have set him up to be, and says he hears he’s been clingy.

And everyone in the theater laughs. 

Everyone but me. 

Because in that moment, everything snaps into alarming clarity. I am no longer immersed in the nostalgic euphoria of an actor I love about to preform a cherished piece of my childhood. 

I am a joke and everyone it laughing at me. 

Because that’s what it feels like, when you see someone like you splashed on the screen and their feelings being the thing that makes them laughable. When there mannerism that are directly coded to read GAY PEOPLE are the joke. You see the thing about sterotypes is, some of use have those traits. I am clingy as hell, a joke often made about wlw, which I am. I know effeminate gay men. I know people who have fallen in love with straight people. None of those things are inherently bad or make you a bad or shallow person  but somewhere along the way, straight people decided they made us wrong and decided to use those things against us and turn it into a joke. People in the theater were laughing about LaFou’s pining for Gaston, while I had lost friends because I was queer and some women don’t want to be friends with you if they think you’re going to fall in love with them. The rub of knowing this was a conscious choice on the part of the filmmakers. Why not have Cogsworth rush into the arms of a long lost husband, instead of Mrs. Potts? You can’t tell me Sir Ian wouldn’t have been all for that. You had two promient gay actors in this film, which was scored by a gay man and the best you could come up with the villain’s side kick who’s name means fool? Really?

And adding insult to injury, it wasn’t LaFou as a person that was the fool, his gayness MADE him the fool in the context of the film. It was his pining for Gaston, to try and impress him, that was played to make him look foolish. Do you know what that says to people? That being gay makes you a fool, it makes you a joke. I’m 27, I’ve learned how to pack that shit up and process later, but what if I had been 16? 10? What does that say to gay parents, sitting in the audience watching their child laugh because social cues tell them this thing is funny and you should laugh? What LaFou really says to LGBT+ people, to gay men especially, is that you are good enough to put in the labor, to make this beautiful thing(Ian McKellan and Luke Evans did great work as Cogsworth and Gaston and without Howard Ashman, there would be no beauty and the Beast.), but you are not good enough to be well represented in it. 

So straight Disney fans, before you feel the need to tell us why we are “making something out of nothing” or that we should be “glad” for what we get, or that his half assed “redemption” arc or a single moment of him touching another man made it all better,  I need you to imagine sitting in a theater, and knowing everyone is laughing at you. Laughing at who you are, at the struggles you deal with. Imagine the things that have shaped you being watered down and played for comedy before you tell me what is or isn’t good queer representation. 

13 Reasons Why (Tape 5)

Characters: sister!reader, Dean, Sam, John, Mary, Ketch, Gabriel

Warnings: swearing, lying, discomfort, overall angst

Word count: 5535

Summary: as he begins to resolve things with Ketch, Dean realises that the tapes need to be kept safe and hidden. He continues on to listen to tape 5 and finds out more about why you decided to take your life.

Series: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

“I can’t let these tapes get out, it would be the end of me working for the Men of Letters,” Ketch snapped.

“You’re worried that these tapes will be the end of your job? They were the end of Y/N’s life!” Dean screamed. He didn’t care that so many guns were pointed towards him. He was tired of everyone making these tapes about them, they were about you! “Look, I don’t care about your damn job, OK? But those tapes aren’t going anywhere, no one you work for is going to find them and there’s not a chance in hell that you are burning them!”

“I have to,” Ketch replied with a calm voice. “I can not let these get out, your word means nothing to me. You Winchesters have screwed me over more times than I can count.”

“Right back at ya, buddy,” Dean replied. “How do we know you’re not gonna take them back to the Men of Letters for some weird analysation crap?!”

“We can burn them here if we must,” Ketch complained. He didn’t understand, Dean was not letting him take them.

He looked over at Sam, gave him the nod and just like that, all four of them had their guns out. Mary shot the man to her left, John shot forward at a woman and Sam chased someone into the library. Ketch ran to Dean and knocked his gun out of his hand. More people around Ketch and Dean just started dropping like flies. Sure, there were more Brits in that room, but the Winchesters were the best. They protected those tapes because they were important to you. You needed them to be heard by everyone on there, and Dean wasn’t done yet.

Dean had taken as many punches as he had thrown, yet Ketch still seemed to be becoming weaker a lot faster. The anger inside Dean must have been pushing him past whatever he was supposed to feel; he just felt numb and continued to go at Ketch, eventually knocking him to the floor.

Ketch picked up the gun he had kicked over and was about to point it in Dean’s face. That’s when Mary turned the safety off on hers while she pressed it against the back of Ketch’s head.

“Don’t move a damn muscle,” Mary growled as Ketch realised that everyone on his side was dead. They had killed them within minutes.

“Now, now Mary,” he said as he stood slowly with his hands up in defence. “Let’s not make any bad decisions.”

Sam walked over to the tapes that had been dropped. One of them had been crushed… Tape 5.

“You destroyed one of the tapes,” Sam snapped. His voice was dangerously low.

“What? Which tape?” Dean asked in worry as he stepped forward and noticed the number on the tape. “No, no no no,” he cried. “I hadn’t listened to that one yet, I can’t miss one out. I need to know what happened to her.”

“Dean,” Ketch tried to speak.

“Shut the fuck up!” Dean fumed. “You broke the fucking thing, now you are going to fix it.”

“And why would I ever do that?“ Ketch snarled as he spat some blood from his mouth on to the floor.

“Is it yours?” Dean asked calmly although the rage was still coursing through his veins.

“What?” Ketch asked, Dean looked at him as if it was obvious and once again, he was angry.

“Tape 5!” Dean screamed. “Is it yours?”

“No,” Ketch shook his head. He started to worry when he pieced together what Dean was planning. “You wouldn’t-”

“Oh, I would,” Dean snapped back as he held the broken tape in his hand. “You will fix this thing or I swear I will give your boss your tape. Don’t try me, Ketch.”

Ketch pressed his lips together and breathed heavily through his nose. He was more worried than angry, that tape would ruin his life. “These tapes aren’t going anywhere, your bosses aren’t going to find out about them,” Sam added. “Even if they do, they don’t have a chance against us. These tapes are Y/N’s legacy… And we protect our own.”

Ketch wasn’t left unattended. Someone had a gun at the back of his head at all times because he was the most untrustworthy person any of them had ever encountered.

When it was Dean’s turn, he sat opposite Ketch at the library table with his gun pointed towards him. “Why do you wanna be rid of it so bad?” Dean asked.

“When you hear it you’ll know,” Ketch replied as he kept his eyes on the tape. He was slowly but surely fixing tape number 5.

“So what you’re saying is you hurt her-”

“What I did wasn’t good. It wasn’t good for Y/N and it wasn’t good on my behalf,” Ketch admitted, his attention was still on the tape he was fixing. “If the Men of Letters find out about what I did, it wouldn’t only lose me my job, they would kill me.”

“Why?” Dean growled quietly. His grip on the gun in his hand tightened.

“Because it goes against orders, I lied to her about something they wanted her to do and then it led to everything that happened, you’ll see when you get to my tape.”

“Everyone talks about these tapes so simply, like they’re just so easy to listen to,” Dean snapped.

“I didn’t find them easy,” Ketch replied, his focus drawing away from the tape and his eyes looking at Dean. “I liked Y/N. Not in that way of course, she was very young, not really my type. But in my cold heart I found a soft spot for the girl… Knowing that I did something that affected her life so badly wasn’t easy for me to hear.”

“So why didn’t you just burn them after you heard your tape?” Dean asked with genuine curiosity.

“Y/N said in the first tape that I was being watched, so I listened to them all.” He returned to fixing the tape, it almost looked as good as new. “When I finished the last tape I was going to burn them, but Sam took them from me and passed them on. I was never able to track them again until they were back here… Every time I remembered who the next person on the tapes were, they had already finished them and passed them on to another,” Ketch finished explaining.

Dean was still angry, but at least now he understood why. He didn’t trust Ketch as far as he could throw him, but he knew that when he let him go there was no chance he would tell the Brits about what happened. He was too scared of them finding out about the tapes.

Once the tape was fixed, they let him go. Of course, not without a stern warning from each of them first. Coming after you was a mistake that Ketch would never make again. At least Dean knew now how careful he had to be with the tapes, he couldn’t just leave them lying around for someone to find easily.

This was a lesson that Dean needed.

Ketch was gone, the dead Brits were still left in the bunker but they all bagged up the bodies and prepared them to be salt and burned. Sam quietly suggested to Dean to go and listen to tape 5 while the rest of them took care of the bodies.

Another tape. Another sad story, another thing Dean may not be able to handle. This time he took the tape to the kitchen and sat in there to listen to it. Your voice played through the headphones.

“Bad decisions. We all make them, right? I mean, some worse than others… But we all make them. Sometimes even if we know it’s the wrong decision, we just want a sense of security. We want to feel safe and sometimes making the easy yet wrong decision is the only way.”

* * *

It was a Monday which meant your brothers wouldn’t be visiting you until tomorrow. Although you were mad every time they visited because they didn’t get you out, the loneliness of them not being there was slowly killing you. It was awful. A pain that was inexplainable.

You sat in your room on the small, uncomfortable bed. It squeaked every time you moved, the springs inside stabbed into your back. All your thoughts were on every negative thing you could come up with, but you were drawn away from those thoughts when a man suddenly appeared in your room, causing you to scream. His hand came over your mouth to stop the screams. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m a brother of Castiel.”

His confidence in his words made him feel trustworthy. You never trusted any of the Angels, but this one seemed different. Even after slowly losing faith in all the people around you, it felt like you could somehow trust this Angel. He moved his hand away from your mouth and you began to question him quietly, you couldn’t let the nurses hear you talking to someone.

“You’re an Angel?” You questioned. “Who are you?”

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m not just any Angel.”

* * *

“And it was him, the sweetest and cockiest Angel I had ever met in that moment. The Archangel… The trickster…”

“No!” Dean cursed.

“Welcome to your tape, Gabriel.”

* * *

“Why are you here?” You breathed out shakily. “What do you want from me?”

“Well, your brothers have been praying a lot and quite frankly it’s annoying me,” Gabriel admitted. “They’ve been praying to Castiel, but brother dearest is busy and will not stop asking me to do the job for him. I’m here to check on you, to ask how you’re doing.“

“To check on me?” You questioned with an aggressive tone. “I’m in a damn psychiatric institution, how do you think I’m feeling?”

“Ok, you’re right. Asking how you were was a stupid question,” he admitted. “Maybe I can just cheer you up? I have nothing better to do.”

“Cheer me up, how?” You asked with genuine curiosity. Any other Angel would have just came to see if you were still alive and then left. But this one, this Archangel that the boys had told you about before, the so called ‘trickster’, was kind. Why was he kind? It didn’t make sense to you, but you didn’t want to wish it away. You needed to know what would happen next.

“Well what do you want?” He asked. “Are you hungry?”

With a click of his fingers a bacon roll appeared in front of you. “I’m a vegetarian,” you snapped at him. You wanted to see how far he could be pushed.

“My apologies.” Once again, he clicked his fingers and it was gone. “You tell me what you want, Y/N.”

“My hair is a little tangled, I hate it like this,” you complained.

“No problem,” he smiled as he passed you a hairbrush that suddenly appeared in his hands. “And here, a cupcake. It’s vegetarian, I promise.”

Gabriel placed the cute cupcake on the table next to you and gave you his sweetest smile. He was so kind. You still didn’t understand why, but you didn’t seem to care. “You want me to help?” He questioned as he took the hairbrush from you and you turned around. He gently pushed your hair back behind you so he could start brushing it. He was careful over the knots to be sure he didn’t hurt you. Who knew that Angels could be kind?

After that day, he began visiting you every day. He would bring you presents and take care of you, he made you actually want to be alive rather than cry and moan all day about how bad it was. He made you feel happy, and even though the nurses had no idea about his regular visits, they all noticed a big change in your mood. They told your father, John, that it may be time for you to leave the hospital because you were showing signs of the medication working and that they were finally increasing your levels of happiness.

It was a few months before you were allowed to leave and you owed it all to him. To Gabriel.

So, on that last day when you were released, you kissed him. On his last visit to your room you grabbed him by his shirt, pulled him close and softly kissed him. His lips were smooth, they moved gently with yours as his hand moved to the back of your head to pull you closer to him. It lasted longer than you had expected before you pulled away and smiled at him. He was perfect… But you knew it wouldn’t last. So why did you let yourself get so close? What was he going to do to hurt you?

When you were discharged from the institute, Sam and Dean were the ones to pick you up. You spoke to them happily and didn’t bother to be angry with them anymore, it wasn’t their fault you were in there anyways… It was Charlie’s. But you had to forget about her now, just focus on the positives. The things like the kiss with Gabriel.

“What’s got you so happy?” Dean asked from the drivers seat while Sam rode shotgun.

“What’s there to be unhappy about? I’m coming home from the worst place in the world and I don’t ever have to go back. I’m with my brothers, I’m happy now,” you smiled.

“Well we’re happy to have you back,” Sam replied gleefully. “And we know how much you’ve missed it so we’re buying you lunch at-”

“Louie’s Pizza Parlour Extravaganza?!” You screamed excitedly.

Dean chuckled. “How’d you guess?”

“You guys know it’s my favourite!” You exclaimed as you clapped your hands together. “This day can’t get any better.”

The boys both loved your excitement in that moment. All they were doing was taking you for pizza, to them that’s all it was. But to you it was getting to spend time with your family once again and eating a pizza from your favourite pizza parlour in the world. It was a huge difference to the food they had given you in Serenity Grove. To them it was another day, to you it was perfect.

You spent hours at the pizza place just talking and messing around, it was one of your best memories with your brothers. It was a moment you appreciated so much but it didn’t last long. Nothing good ever did.

You knew it was coming, but that didn’t make it any easier having to hear it. “Y/N, on a more serious note, we need to know what’s happening between you and dad.”

You shook your head. “I don’t have a dad.”

And you wanted that to be the end of it. No more talking about the ass that was John Winchester. Of course it wasn’t the end, but you continued to look down and eat your fries.

“Dad misses you, Y/N,” Dean spoke. “He’s happy that you’re coming home.”

“Home,” you laughed ironically. “That’s a funny word, really, isn’t it? My home is with you guys, not John and his bitch wife.”

“Hey! That’s our mom you’re talking about,” Dean snapped.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you replied sarcastically. “John and your bitch mom. There, is that better?”

“Hey, come on,” Sam tried to speak reasonably. You had only just got out and he didn’t want to cause an argument. “You and dad may not see eye to eye on a lot of things, but he’s really excited that you’re coming home. So is mom.”

“If they wanted me home so badly they wouldn’t have put me in there to start with,” you replied quietly, avoiding eye contact with both of them. “But sure, let’s go back to the bunker. I knew this wouldn’t last anyway.”

So there it was, the pain once again. Why did John and Mary have to even stay with you guys? They were adults that could get out on their own and take care of themselves.

The trip back to the bunker was silent. You didn’t understand how you could go from having the time of your life with your brothers to complete silence and awkwardness. It wasn’t a strange occurrence for things to go from good to bad within a matter of seconds, but that didn’t make it any easier.

Since the ride back was so long you began thinking that maybe you could take control of this, you could control whether you were happy or sad. Even though you hated him with every fibre of your being, John was happy that you were coming home. Maybe you shouldn’t get all angry with him when you return. You weren’t going to forgive him of course, but getting angry wouldn’t bring back lost time. You just had to hold on to your kiss with Gabriel and hope that it was enough to push you to be nice to John and Mary.

As Dean parked the car outside the bunker, they both looked back at you in the back seat and were about to ask you to not react badly to John. “You guys don’t have to say anything.”

You opened the car door and stepped outside before making your way towards the bunker. You stepped in casually just like you were heading back home once again, which was what you were doing but it had just been a long time. You made your way down the stairs, your expression unreadable as Sam and Dean followed behind you. John and Mary were in the war room just waiting for you to arrive back. They stood and soon as they saw you, no one knowing how to react.

You stared at John and just thought back to the times he had visited you. You knew he was thinking about it too, those times you had attacked him and kicked and punched and screamed that you hated him. “Y/N,” he spoke softly.

And in that second, just the sound of his voice angered you. You hated him, but at the same time, you loved him. You could feel holes being burned into you from the stares you were getting from Sam, Dean and Mary. As you dropped your backpack to the floor and stepped towards John, you thought that everyone would expect you to attack him. But you didn’t speak, you didn’t say a word. You reached out your arms and hugged him.

For a moment John didn’t react. He had no idea this is how you would react. Then he sighed with relief. His daughter was home and she wasn’t mad. Of course you were, but you had to put it behind you. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close. “I’m happy you’re home.”

You smiled to yourself because his words felt real, like he really meant them. You didn’t believe them, but hearing them was going to have to be enough. You looked over at Mary after you pushed out of the hug with John. “It’s good to have you back, sweetheart. I made you something to eat,“ she smiled.

You could have just told her that the boy’s already took you for lunch, but of course you didn’t.

“What, did you poison it or something?” You snapped as you remembered her saying that you were better off dead. You realised what you had just done, and everyone stared at you just like they were waiting for you to fuck up. No, not anymore. You weren’t going to let that be who you were. “I’m kidding!” You giggled. “Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve been in a normal place. Appropriate and inappropriate kinda merge together in that place…”

“It’s okay,” Mary smiled as she reached her hand our for you. Her smile seemed genuine. It confused you, why would she be kind to you now after what she said?

Regardless, you needed to start putting effort in to improve your own life. That’s why you took her hand and let her lead you to the kitchen. You had expected the boys to follow you but they stayed where they were which just left you and Mary alone in the kitchen. She gave you the tomato pasta she had made you and sat opposite you while pouring a glass of orange juice.

Even when everyone else wasn’t around, she was nice to you. If she hated you so much and thought you ruined her family why would she still be nice even when you were both alone? “If you need anything else, just let me know.”

The whole day felt a little weird now that you had a new attitude. You all seemed to get along ok, which made you think even more that you were the problem. You weren’t the problem, families just argued sometimes and that’s part of life- no ‘one person’ is the cause of all fights between a family.

You returned to your room and began thinking of Gabriel again. You wanted to see him, you couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. It was soft and tender, he was so sweet and slow. It was perfect, you wanted more. You needed more. When you prayed, he didn’t show. Why?

You thought that he must have been busy and decided to just head back to the library where everyone was. You sat at the table in the library and picked up a book, mindlessly flicking through the pages as your thoughts were back on Gabriel.

“You know-” you heard at the same time as a flutter of wings, “-I can hear you when you think about me.”

“Gabriel!” You exclaimed as you threw the book down. “What are you doing here?”

“I was about to ask him the same damn question,” John growled. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Dad, it’s okay,” you replied and everyone’s eyes shot to you. “What? He’s a good Angel, he was there for me in Serenity Grove.”

“Yeah, I was ‘there for her’,” he winked at the rest of your family. “You know, helped her out when she was in need.”

“You didn’t need to be there for her,” Dean snapped. “Sam and me visited her every week.”

“Well, if you helped her in the way I’m talking about, that would be kinda wrong, wouldn’t it?” Gabriel asked in a cocky tone. You thought he was talking about the kiss, but then he continued to lie. “Those nights we spent tangled up the sheets really were special to me, Y/N.”

“You son of a bitch!” John screamed as he jumped forward to grab Gabriel but he just disappeared and reappeared in a different place.

“Tangled in the sheets?” You questioned. “No! Nothing like that happened.”

“You can’t deny it when I have this to prove it,” Gabriel smiled as he pulled out his phone and pressed a single button before all of your phones went off. You pulled it out to see the picture that he had sent to every single person on his contacts and you knew that he got most of them from the boys and Castiel.

The picture was compelling. He must have taken if when you closed your eyes to kiss him. The photo was cropped so that it just showed above your shirt so it looked like you weren’t wearing one, the angle looked as if you were laying down. And of course, you were happily kissing him back and your hair was a mess.

You looked up and noticed the judging looks you were getting from everyone in your family… Even from your brothers. They were the only people you cared about the opinions of. “Ok, yes, we kissed but we didn’t-”

“Save it,” John snapped. Gabriel was going to ruin everything. “You stay the hell away from my daughter,” he growled at the Archangel.

“Whatever you say,” Gabriel smiled before clicking his fingers and disappearing from the room. How could he do that to you? After everything.

“I promise it’s not true!” You tried to explain.

“Out of everyone it could have been you chose him!” John shouted. “After everything he has put our family through, you just couldn’t help yourself could you?”

* * *

“Those words were heartbreaking. You said it as if I was just a common slut that sleeps with everyone, like some cheap whore. You called me easy… If I was so easy, why did everyone find me so hard to love? Why did you?”

* * *

You had stormed off to your room after they all failed to believe you. Why would your family not trust you that you would tell the truth? You expected Mary and John to not believe you but you had thought your brothers would support you. They didn’t. They said it wasn’t a problem but that you should have admitted to it rather than trying to hide it. It just resulted in you screaming at them all and then coming to your room to cry.

As you wiped the tears away, someone unexpected appeared in your room. Gabriel. “Y/N?” He asked as he noticed your tears. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” You growled. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” You slammed your fists against his chest but as you went to do it again he grabbed your wrists.

“Just calm down, we can talk about this.”

“Why did you lie?” You sobbed as you stopped trying to pull your wrists away from his hands. “You’re ruining what I have with my family. I hate you! I hate you!” You tried to hit him again but it was just a failure and the tears continued to stream down your face.

“Hey, talk to me,” he tried to calm you.

“You lied about us having sex,” you cried. “Why?”

“Me and some of the Angels had a bet that I could convince a bunch of your friends that we really did, it’s no big deal,” he chuckled.

“No big deal?” You asked as you yanked your hands away from him. “It’s a big deal to me you asshole! What the fuck is wrong with you? Is that all I am to you? A bet?”

“No! Y/N, I wanted to kiss you.” He brushed your hair away from your face but you slapped his hand away.

“Don’t touch me. You can lie about touching me, maybe that’s one thing you can take from me, but one thing you can’t take from me is my right to say no. Now get the fuck out of my room. Unless you tell the truth, I never want to see you again.”

You felt amazing after what you said. You felt strong and powerful. You told him what was what and he knew it. You knew that through the change on his face when you told him what he could never take from you. “I guess I won’t be seeing you ever again then, Y/N, unless you change your mind.”

You stood there with your arms crossed across your chest and scoffed at his words. “Not fucking likely.”

* * *

“People were right about you Gabriel. And when I say people, I mean everyone that ever had anything to say about you. Some said you were sweet, but others said you were a liar and a cheat. They were all right. You were one book with two covers, I guess I forgot to read the other one before getting involved in your story.”

Tape 5 was over. Dean, once again, was left with his feelings after the tape. A few minutes later, Sam came in to the kitchen to grab some food. “You alright, man?”

“Gabriel’s tape was just. Wow, I mean,” he sighed. “Shit, dude. Why didn’t we believe her?”

Sam shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“I mean, at the time the evidence was there, he made a damn compelling case. But now I’m thinking back to it and… Why? She was our sister. We didn’t believe her, worst of all we believed Gabriel over her! She knew how much we hated that guy, how much he hurt us,” Dean began to rant. “She must have felt so betrayed… Every single one of these tapes, we always seem to have something to do with it. It’s our fault more than anyone else’s.”

“We can’t afford to think like that,” Sam said as he took a seat opposite Dean at the kitchen table.

“Why not? Because it’s the truth?” Dean growled. “We need to take some damn responsibility.”

“Not for the tapes that aren’t ours,” Sam replied quickly.

“You don’t even have one!” Dean snapped back.

“And I’m still blaming myself!” Sam finished. “You think you’re the only person that feels all this pain and that you’re the only reason why? It kills me every day to even wake up, Dean. I have to push myself to get out of bed and face another one of these fucking days where she’s gone and we have to keep living. She was my sister too… I loved her. You’re not the only one that lost her.”

“You don’t think I know that, Sammy?” Dean questioned with a softer tone. “Look, I’m sorry that all I do is complain. But I just feel like we did something wrong, like we didn’t do enough. I’m sorry, I know that you miss her… I do too. But Sammy, we can’t let it pull us apart like this. We’re gonna all have to be there for each other if we’re going to get through this…”

Sam just looked down at the table before nodding. “I was thinking about what you said before about Jody, that we haven’t visited in a while. She called earlier and asked if we wanted to go visit, she might have found a case.”

Dean smiled with a nod. “Just me and you? What about mom and dad-”

“They’ve already found a hunt somewhere else,” Sam interrupted. Dean knew that it was because they didn’t want to go, but he just nodded at Sam’s lie. He couldn’t be bothered with even more arguing. “Ok, better get packing…”

They both headed off to their rooms to just grab a few shirts and everything they would need for the next few days. As Dean was about to put his wallet away, he realised that he still had the note in there that you had left Sam for the tapes. He thought about it for a few moments before taking it out and holding the folded piece of paper between his fingers. He sat there on his bed, took a deep breath and began to open up the letter.

His fingers brushed over it as he smiled at the fact it was your handwriting. He always remembered that when you were researching you would write things down that could be of importance later. Then, before he could stop himself, he began to read the letter.

Sam…
Sammy.
I know that this letter will be hard for you to read.
But I promise you, it can’t be as hard as it is writing it.
I need you to do me a favour with these tapes that I’m leaving you…
I need you to make sure that everyone on there listens to them…
And I want you to listen to them too.
These tapes are the only legacy I’m leaving.
When you read this letter it will already be too late, I’ll already be dead.
I love you and Dean so much, and I’m sorry for what I’m about to do to you.
Well, to you, it’s what I’ve already done.
It’s my time, I know it’s my time. I just can’t do it anymore.
You don’t need me, you’ll move on to the next problem that life gives you and forget.
I never wanted to hurt you and Dean, and I wish I didn’t have to do this,
But I do. It’s the only way for me to feel okay again.
I’m so lucky to have met such a amazing people like you and Dean. You’re my family.
I don’t deserve you guys, I never did. I would have destroyed you,
Just like how I destroyed my mom. It’s what I do, I ruin people’s lives.
I couldn’t live knowing that I could ever hurt you. I love you both too much.
I hope you can forgive me. I’m so sorry. I love you.
Love from, Y/N

Dean’s tear dripped on to the paper; that was how he eventually realised at he was even crying. The letter was powerful, it was so full of love for them but hatred for yourself.

“You ready to go man?” Sam asked as he knocked at Dean’s bedroom door.

“Yeah,” Dean hid the rest of the tapes in the safe in his room and put tape 6 in the player, ready for when he was at Jody’s. He finished the letter, and now he’d finished tape 5. He was ready for tape 6. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

anonymous asked:

I just came across one of your posts on love where you mention pride and prejudice in the tags- do you have any more explicit thoughts on what makes it good as a love story? I love p&p and I'd love to hear what you think if you have time!

I don’t have time at all but I can’t resist an invitation to talk about Pride & Prejudice.

P&P has tropes & plot structures that have occured plenty of times in romance before and since–the “misogynist with a heart of gold” that is Fitzwilliam Darcy, the general woman-rejects-man-then-later-accepts-him arc–but I think that it succeeds where a lot of other things with similar narrative structures fail.

the thing about this setup is that provides ample opportunity to showcase love as a transformative force. and fiction with this setup succeeds or fails, imo, on the strength of its success or its failure to do that. a lot of things written in this vein, including modernized or AU-style adaptations of P&P or things that were probably heavily inspired by P&P, fail because there’s no character growth and no transformation. the woman realises that she was silly to reject the man for her silly reasons (which were actually probably very sound) but doesn’t really change in any material way–the man is there to graciously accept her change of heart, but doesn’t change in any material way either. this, incidentally, is why I can’t get behind North & South in the way that I can Pride & Prejudice.

the appeal of Pride & Prejudice for me–and, presumably, the appeal of P&P to a lot of women who are into men, lmao–is that Darcy actually changes throughout the course of the book due to Elizabeth’s influence. we see this, of course, during the scene at Pemberley with the Gardiners, when he behaves w/ actual civility (in ways that are probably familiar to you and don’t need to be dwelled on), and Elizabeth is all,

Why is he so altered? From what can it proceed? It cannot be for me—it cannot be for my sake that his manners are thus softened. My reproofs at Hunsford could not work such a change as this. It is impossible that he should still love me.

but. okay. so what. anyone can change their behaviour for another person, anyone can act the way that they think they have to act to get the girl, so what? the real crux of this imo, and what makes it really compelling to me, is that I don’t think he changed for Elizabeth. because of her, yes, by his own admission, but from the time between her rejection and her arrival at Pemberley, I don’t think he ever thought that he was going to see her again. or at any rate I don’t think he planned to reform (or appear to reform) for the sole purpose of getting her to say yes to him. after she rejected him, he spent a lot of time, on his own, thinking about what she had said and looking back over his own behaviour:

The recollection of what I then said, of my conduct, my manners, my expressions during the whole of it, is now, and has been many months, inexpressibly painful to me. Your reproof, so well applied, I shall never forget: ‘had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.’ Those were your words. You know not, you can scarcely conceive, how they have tortured me;—though it was some time, I confess, before I was reasonable enough to allow their justice.

so he realises, over a long stretch of time, that he was disrespecting Elizabeth, failing to pay attention to her actual feelings (during the proposal scene and before), and expecting his status to be sufficient in securing her acceptance. he realises this by reflecting on himself, at his own impetus, at some distance from Elizabeth, not expecting her to guide him through the process of becoming a better person, not expecting her to automatically love him at the end of this process. he examines himself, not because he’s being guided every step of the way by a Selfless Female Figure, and not because he expects reward, but because it’s the right thing to do. and I think that his behaviour and mindset would have changed even if he never saw Elizabeth again, even if she had said no to him again when he proposed for the second time. (which was a greatly improved proposal, btw–“one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever”? a vast improvement over launching into a proposal without noting the “cold civility” of Elizabeth’s manner. “you are too generous to trifle with me”? a far superior knowledge of her character to thinking that her refuseal was solely due to her “pride [being] hurt by my honest confession of the scruples that had long prevented my forming any serious design”.)

I can’t resist quoting this entire speech as an illustration of my point:

Painful recollections will intrude which cannot, which ought not, to be repelled. I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased. (emphasis mine)

my only quibble with this is that I would have wished this apology to occur before Elizabeth’s acceptance, but oh well.

of course, Elizabeth changes as a result of all of this too, and that’s part of the point of the book (Darcy’s is the Pride, but hers is the Prejudice). after she realises that she was wrong about Wickham:

She grew absolutely ashamed of herself. Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she think without feeling she had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd.

“How despicably I have acted!” she cried; “I, who have prided myself on my discernment! I, who have valued myself on my abilities! who have often disdained the generous candour of my sister, and gratified my vanity in useless or blameable mistrust! How humiliating is this discovery! Yet, how just a humiliation! Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind! But vanity, not love, has been my folly. Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself.”

similarly, she attends to her shortcomings without outside guidance, and she doesn’t change for anyone in particular. this is important to talk about when discussing how P&P showcases the possibility of transformation, and the transformative power of love. of course, she doesn’t love Darcy at this point, and I’d argue that Darcy didn’t love her at the time of his first proposal either (he was perhaps passionate or infatuated, but real love involves respect for someone and a knowledge of them, and Darcy had neither). what’s really compelling about this for me, what really makes me care, god help me, about this straight white British couple, is that they don’t just go on loving each other w/o changing, they don’t even change because of their love for each other, but they arrive at loving each other through the ways in which they change because of their experiences with each other. and I think that this novel gets at, in a way that a lot of fiction based in the same general premise fails to get at, the concept of love as action, love as respect and mutuality, love as process, and love as transformation.

Onibi Series: Recap

A while back, I answered a question for tumblr user @outerkat that gave an explanation of known information about the characters of the Onibi Series. That information is now outdated, so it’s time for an update!  (As usual, this post was made with the help of @shishikusas​. Bless her heart this fandom would get absolutely nowhere without her.)

This is what we know as of mid-2017.

The canon order of the songs is still:

1. The Spider and the Kitsune-Like Lion

2. The Fox’s Wedding

3. The Beautiful Shadow of the Demon’s Frenzied Dance Performance

4. Demon Child in the Clear Mirror (at the same time as #3, in a different location)

5. Beheading Dance

6. Death, Misfortune, and the Amanojaku

7. Will-O-The-Wisp

8. Star Lily Dance Performance Capital

Time for characters!

Mai Shishikusa

She has two designs. The green-haired one with the bow was how she was first drawn, and its only purpose was to make her recognizable as Gumi. Her canon appearance is the one with long brown hair. 

Mai is a member of the esteemed Shishikusa clan, and after being mistreated by some men when she was very young, she ate them and left one of their heads at the scene. She later devours her own mother, Ryou, during her (Mai’s) birthday party. Delectably morbid.

In The Fox’s Wedding, she is kidnapped by Akari’s brother (we call him Takahiro but he doesn’t have a canon name). She is forcibly fed human flesh (which probably made her cannibalistic tendencies permanent), and it’s likely that she may have been molested at this time, too.

In The Beautiful Shadow of the Demon’s Frenzied Dance Performance, Mai goes crazy and begins to devour more and more people.

She is seen as a doll in Death, Misfortune, and the Amanojaku. Also, Masa has confirmed that Mai and Akari are the characters seen in Beheading Dance.

Star Lily Dance Performance is a dream, a figment of Mai’s imagination. She dreams of a place where she and Akari can be happy together, to comfort herself before she dies.

Akari Oborodzuka 

Her name has been occasionally translated as Zhu Li. Like Mai, she also has two designs. She is the character with red or white pigtails, and her canon design gives her short white hair. I believe that she is, symbolically, the “Kitsune” mentioned throughout the series.

Akari is a member of the Oborodzuka Clan, and is the sole member that is not physically disabled somehow. She endured abuse from her family because of this, and eventually gained the power to make other people hurt themselves.

She imprisoned a violent and evil character named Tsukuyomi inside of an altar in the basement of her home, and I’m fairly certain that this altar is what was commonly being referred to with that recurring line, “Open it?” Tsukuyomi was actually the founder of the Oborodzuka clan, if I’m not mistaken, and is freed centuries later in another Masa series known as Maha’s Story.

In The Spider and the Kitsune-Like Lion, Ryou Shishikusa kidnaps her and tortures her until she dies. At the end of the song, Akari curses her family, saying that this “strange habit of eating people” must be continued for a hundred generations or something like that. This seals Ryou’s fate, and Ryou is later eaten by her daughter Mai as part of this curse.

In The Fox’s Wedding, Akari is alive again. She isn’t involved in Mai’s kidnapping, but I think the two of them might have been secretly married at this time.

Akari is also seen in The Beautiful Shadow of the Demon’s Frenzied Dance Performance and Death, Misfortune, and the Amanojaku, but I’m not certain what her purpose is in these two.

Whether or not she is actually there or only being dreamt of in Star Lily Dance Performance is debatable, but the former is the more comforting option. ;w;

Shikyou the Amanojaku

Shikyou is the Antagonist of the Onibi Series. Her name was only learned recently. This is the Amanojaku mentioned in (you guessed it) Death, Misfortune, and the Amanojaku.

Shikyou is somehow controlling Mai’s fate. Masa said that Mai and Akari were “doomed never to meet.” It’s incredibly likely that Shikyou was behind this, which would explain why she screams and appears to be very distraught in The Beautiful Shadow of the Demon’s Frenzied Dance Performance. If those two hadn’t met, many lives would have been spared from Mai’s cannibalistic tendencies.

Because it was likely a character named Emi that helped Akari and Mai meet each other in person, Shikyou and Emi are enemies.

What confuses me is that even though she seems to be trying to protect the people of Castle Town and must therefore care about humanity, something on Masa’s blog also says that at some point in history, she went on some kinda killing spree? Shikyou’s motives are questionable, to say the least.

Emi

For a while we thought that she was the purple-robed Gumi, but that turned out to be Ryou. The lovely @shishikusas talked to Masa, though, and helped clear it up! Emi is the Miku seen in Onibi, but she was given an original appearance in the video for the remix of The Fox’s Wedding!

Emi is, symbolically, the “Doll” mentioned throughout the series. Her ancestors were evil gods, and thus, everyone came to hate her. She bears a grudge against these people, but tries to ignore their feelings at the same time.

She appears ONLY in the song Onibi, and is not to be confused with the other blue Miku character, Kaori.   

All we know other than that is that Masa described her as one of the story’s “Main Heroes.” I think that she’s behind Mai and Akari being able to meet.

Ryou Shishikusa

HOO BOY where do we start with this crazy bitch. Here’s what my dear fact checker had to say about her:

Ryo Shishikusa is Mai’s mother, born into the Onidzuka clan but marrying into the Shishikusa clan through daimyo Tomonari Shishikusa. She has one sister, unnamed, who had a daughter after multiple miscarriages (this daughter is Kaori, the one referred to as the “demon child”). She has a tattoo of a spider on her waist and uses a special knife called “Devil’s Blade” to kill people.

She and Tomonari run a theater in Castle Town (Namitsuki). A lot of Castle Town’s entertainment comes from here. One thing that happens below the theatre is gambling, which Ryo and her husband do with human beings. Evidently, the clans of Castle Town take part in illegal human trafficking of young girls, keeping them under the theater and treating them like animals. 

One day, Tomonari comes to Ryo and says that the other daimyos are becoming bored with the performances and that, for the next performance, someone will be killed for the audience. Ryo hates the idea, but it is business.

Their prisoner, Akari, is thoroughly disgusted and calls Ryou a monster. She says that Ryou is “unable to come back, like us.” Grace and I think that this means Akari has the ability to return from the dead, because that would certainly explain why she is alive later in the series.

Anyway, Ryou tortures and kills Akari before a live audience. After Akari is dead, the blog says (roughly) this:

“I looked aside and saw the surprised faces of the Daimyos. They opened their mouths when they saw me.

Hmm…? 

It’s hot. 

My face and my hand… are very very hot. 

I was surprised by what I saw on my hand. It was bright red. The small knife in my hand and even my sleeve were red, also, and from the cuff dripped… blood? 

That’s it. I remembered. I tried to kill this girl. 

I looked up at the girl again. Her head was completely downwards and I could see the intestines as I looked at her belly. 

This …was me? I trembled. My heart began to beat almost fast enough to break it.. Unconsciously, I spread my hands and turned to the Daimyo. 

‘Ha ha ha ha ha ha!’ I was laughing.“ 

So yeah Ryou makes a lot of stuff go wrong. Her actions, and probably Emi’s, are what eventually lead to the chaos caused by the meeting between Mai and Akari.

Kaori Onidzuka

This little cutie, formerly referred to as “Etsuko” by the fandom, is Mai’s cousin.

All we know about her is that she may or may not be into killing and torturing animals and that she is the one typically referred to as “Demon Child.” 

Really tho there is like NOTHING on the onibi blog about Kaori so there’s not much to talk about.

Tomonari Shishikusa

This man is a daimyo, husband of Ryou and father of Mai. He must really care for his family, because it was his idea to start killing people for entertainment as a way to bring in more money and he threw Mai a rather luxurious birthday party when the day came. 

So Akari’s curse might not be the only thing that pushed Mai to cannibalism. Evidently, those that turn cannibal sometimes devour parents that pampered them too much. 

The blog says that he and Ryou were having a very important talk with Mai shortly before she devoured them both. Tomonari was eaten first, with Ryou bearing witness just before Mai ate her as well.

Daiji Masaoma

This guy is Mai’s bodyguard. At some point he is found with a large portion of his shoulder eaten away, so it’s likely that he was killed by Mai. we crack ship him with takahiro

Kanishiro Oborodzuka

Here’s what we know about him:

  • He kidnapped Mai from her own hometown, so he’s probably a badass.
  • He has snake eyes.
  • After he kidnapped Mai, he forced her to consume human flesh from the back of a truck.
  • He probably did other unspeakable things to her, but there’s no telling

Here are the headcanons:

  • He does have a physical disability, like his family, but it’s deafness instead of bent/backward limbs or an inability to walk.
  • Therefore, he communicates through others with sign language.
  • He is Akari’s brother, and has red hair like hers.
  • He’s sadistic and cruel, but not as much as Ryou.

But yeah for a minor character, he does play kind of an important role in the story. We’ll probably be hearing more about him later on.

Shizune

She is Mai’s adopted sister, from the Oborodzuka clan. Apparently she found the dead bodies of her parents after Mai had eaten her fill of them.

OKAY SO

Remember, this is the updated info! My old post that says Emi is purple Gumi is WRONG. Hope this helped clear things up!

8

Hey sorry I haven’t been active much, it’s cos I’ve been working on this!!
My first OC for an Overwatch hero!!
Oh man this.. project?..  was tough, and I still haven’t really fleshed out the specifics of his abilities.. there will be more refinements to come if I have time..
For now this is all I got for him.. what do u think? :DD

ps
I’ve written some dialogue as well. I don’t want to make this post any longer so I’ll put a Read More break here. Thanks for viewing!

Keep reading

Father-(Derek Hale)

Originally posted by mysnarkyself

Characters: Lydia Martin, Allison Argent, Derek Hale and (Y/N).

Word Count: 829

Warnings: Derek crying?

Pairing: Derek Hale x Reader

Summary: You and Derek gets a surprise he never would have expected


I sit atop the closed toilet seat with anxiety and anticipation flowing through my entire body. My pals sweat like Stiles during gym and my throat is incredibly dry. Positive. Positive. Positive. That’s the only word running through my mind right now. 

Keep reading

the talon!mccree au

*sweats* ok i know it’s been like six months but have some mchanzo

  • in this universe, talon catches mccree before overwatch does, and genji does not rebel from the shimadas. hanzo joins overwatch of his own volition, allowing genji to take over the clan. genji meets a boy who becomes his advisor, and then his lover. he and zenyatta are married four years later, at the same time the shimada clan’s activity becomes completely peaceful. the old shimadas protest, but they do not rebel, wary of hanzo’s wrath.
  • hanzo becomes one of overwatch’s top agents. he is sent to france for a mission, where he meets the socialite ballerina amelie lacroix. they become close friends, fuelled by a mutual love of sarcasm
  • when talon takes amelie, hanzo is frantic with worry. she returns, and he is the only one who sees that she is not unscathed. when gerard is murdered, he is saddened but unsurprised.
  • overwatch sends him on the hunt for her the next day, accompanied by lena ‘tracer’ oxton, the pesky brat of a speedster.
  • (they have a few conversations beyond the battlefield banter, fuelled by liquor and the darkness that lurks behind their eyes. ‘i loved her’, she admits, one midnight, and then she hides her tears in hanzo’s robe.)
  • unfortunately, talon has an interest in keeping widowmaker. they send out one of their best agents, a cowboy with a stupid belt buckle and a stupid hat and a stupidly pretty face who likes to do distracting things during fights.
  • like flirt.
  • tracer and hanzo are following a tip to a talon base when there’s a gunshot nearby. they trade glances, and then tracer darts down the edge of a building and disappears into the street below
  • hanzo pulls an arrow from his quiver and nocks it in a practiced motion, scanning the surrounding area. he waits.
  • suddenly, a rush of hot breath brushes his ear
  • ‘hey, pretty boy.’
  • hanzo flushes and spins, releasing an arrow.
  • if it’s a little skewed, it’s because of the wind. nothing to do with the red painted across hanzo’s cheeks.
  • hanzo curses and reaches for another arrow
  • abruptly, there’s a tug on his ponytail. he hasn’t cut his hair in a while, and it falls nearly to the small of his back. he whirls, and comes nose-to-nose with the cowboy.
  • he goes even redder, which is not helped by the cowboy stepping closer.
  • back to play so soon, hanzo?’
  • he winks. hanzo nearly falls off the edge of the roof.
  • ‘i-uh-’ and his breath stutters in his throat. the cowboy looks at him with that infernal grin on his face.
  • suddenly, mccree’s com buzzes. hanzo’s close enough to hear it. he’s frozen, and it’s not as if the cowboy’s doing anything to increase the distance between them (and his eyes are really quite pretty up close, and also he has freckles. which should not be cute.)
  • ‘hiya, reapy,’ mccree chirps.
  • ‘where are you?’ a pause. ‘and don’t call me that.’
  • ‘i’m, uh, doin’ something,’ mccree says eventually.
  • hanzo isn’t moving. why isn’t he moving this is someone who has tried to kill him many times in the past why isn’t he nocking an arrow right now he’s going to die because he was distracted by a pretty boy
  • there’s a derisive snort from over the line. ‘are you with that boy you keep obsessing over? the one you keep gushing over?’
  • mccree turns scarlet. ‘um-’
  • ‘what was his name? oh yeah. the shimada. hanzo, right?’
  • hanzo’s eyes go wide. ‘you-’
  • ‘sorry, reaps, i’m losing ya-’ he clicks off the com.
  • ‘you- i- gushing- wha?’
  • it’s not hanzo’s most eloquent moment, but it’s excusable.
  • ‘i, um-’ the cowboy scratches the back of his neck, steadfastly refusing to meet hanzo’s astonished gaze. ‘i mighta, kinda- well, i reckon i should say this-’
  • there’s another gunshot in the distance, and they jump apart like teenagers caught making out.
  • ‘i-uh-that’s my cue to-’ mccree starts helplessly
  • ‘yes, i’ll just-’
  • hanzo does an awkward backwards shuffle and disappears over the edge
  • and then mccree hurls himself off the roof.
  • he lands on his feet like a cat, one hand securing his hat to his head, only to see reaper gliding out of the nearest building. he’s wearing a shit-eating grin. (you can’t tell, because he’s a wraith and also he’s wearing the stupid mask, but it’s there.)
  • ‘just a little crush, my ass.’
  • mccree blows out a sigh. of course. ‘papá!’
  • ‘i told you,’ he says smugly. ‘you-’ and he jabs a finger into jesse’s chest- ‘are-’ jab- ‘weak-’ for- ‘pretty-’ jab- ‘boys.’ and he jabs mccree into a wall.
  • ‘i didn’t even- what-’
  • ‘don’t deny it! you like him.’
  • ‘papá!’
  • ‘you want to kiss him, eh?’ at mccree’s fierce blush, he snickers. ‘hopeless. such a loser.’
  • ‘says the guy who can’t even ask out a man he’s known for years.’ mccree shoots back.
  • it’s gabe’s turn to splutter. ‘you- pendejo- morrison and i are a different situation!’
  • ‘different situation. yada yada.’
  • ‘okay,’ gabe says, regaining his composure. ‘here’s the deal. you ask this shimada character out on a date and i’ll talk to morrison.’
  • ‘aww, papá! ya can’t do that!’
  • gabe smirks, folding his arms. ‘why?’
  • ‘ya know i just want y’all to be happy! why you gotta do this?’
  • ‘so you finally get some courage. go talk to the loser. ya have my blessing or whatever.’
  • mccree grins up at him. gabe wraps an arm around his shoulders and rubs his knuckles against his head.
  • ‘alright, papá!’ and he races off, holding onto his hat.
  • gabe watches after him with a fond expression. there’s a snicker from over his shoulder, and he whips around.
  • ‘shh, you.’
  • ‘so you do have feelings,’ sombra drawls, stepping out of the shadows. ‘never woulda thought it, papá.’
  • he messes up her hair with a hand. she yelps and darts away, frantically adjusting her hair.
  • ‘shut your damn mouth.’
  • mccree finds hanzo in the building where he and tracer are cooped up. he crawls through the window and finds himself face to face with the barrel of a sparking blue-orange gun.
  • ‘hey, mate,’ lena says, with a terrifying grin. ‘ya mind?’
  • ‘um, well, i really do-’
  • ‘who’s that?’ comes a call, and hanzo rounds the corner, bow at the ready. he freezes when he sees mccree.
  • ‘uh- hi.’ mccree fiddles with his hat. ‘i was wonderin’ if i could talk to you. an’ i ain’t comin’ from talon. just me. and you.’
  • hanzo stares at him for a moment, before slowly lowering his bow. tracer takes her cue, and disappears, winking at hanzo.
  • ‘so, uh, about earlier-’
  • ‘yes, we should discuss that-’
  • ‘of course.’ mccree shifts from side to side. ‘we should talk.’
  • hanzo looks at him. ‘should i-’
  • ‘yes. please. go ahead.’
  • ‘we should definitely talk,’ hanzo says. mccree steps a little closer, smiling.
  • he gets a little rush of courage at hanzo’s blush. ‘then again,’ he murmurs, ‘maybe i should just show you.’
  • and then he leans in and kisses him.
  • hanzo makes a muffled noise that sounds oddly like ‘oh my god,’ and then he drops his bow and pulls jesse in, one hand sliding to the back of his neck.
  • when they part, both of them are blushing, with matching wide grins.
  • ‘so, uh-’ jesse starts. ‘you wanna go get coffee?’
  • hanzo laughs. ‘i’d love to.’
  • and then he kisses him again.
  • jesse posts a picture of him and hanzo to the official talon instagram. hanzo’s mouth is pressed to his cheek, and both of them are holding non-fat venti chai lattes. it’s captioned ‘i guess this time we do play on the same team.’
  • gabe (@death) comments with ‘u better not hurt my boy shimada #happyforyou’. the official overwatch instagram likes it. genji comments with 24 winky face emojis. when talon tries to take it down, sombra just takes control of all their social media.
  • when talon sends mccree into the field, he just ignores his mission objective and goes to get coffee with hanzo. gabe complains about being sent to do the dirty work that mccree neglects.
  • he and jack do work it out, by the way.
  • mccree makes friends with hanzo’s dragons. one of them likes to perch on his shoulder and rest its head on his hat. sombra takes pictures and sends them to gabriel. gabriel has them all saved to his family folder. when widowmaker is released into the field, she gets them too, and she teases hanzo mercilessly.
  • ‘into a cowboy? le perdant.’
  • ‘fuck off,’ hanzo says cheerfully, texting jesse a kissy face emoji. ‘you’re into a girl that unironically says ‘the cavalry’s here’ everytime she shows up to a battlefield.’
  • ‘wha- i don’t- i don’t even have feelings.’ she huffs, and disappears off the edge of the roof.
  • mccree ambles along a few moments later, and sits down next to hanzo.
  • ‘i believe i was promised a kiss,’ he says. hanzo grins and kisses him.
  • they get married a few years later. the entirety of overwatch gathers, and widowmaker and sombra are the groomsmaids. genji and zenyatta arrive, and hanzo’s father walks him down the aisle. 
  • they recite their vows, and as gabe finishes reading off the ceremony script, jesse places his hat onto hanzo’s head and pulls him in for a long kiss. amelie releases the doves, and they break apart, laughing, at her grumpy expression. they shove cake in each others’ faces and take their first dance and kiss each other for the wedding photos
  • and in the end, it all works out just fine.