I seriously love the idea of yandere!spain. Not like the idea of him being insane and hurting Romano, more like the idea of him being possessive and sweet and ridiculously happy when Romano is around, but the second Spain sees/hears someone being mean to him he does this complete 180 and gives them that scary-ass grin like “what the fuck did you say about my Lovi?”
❛ ¡lo siento! ¡lo siento! ¡lo siento! ❜
❛ hey, have you seen my ph —— oh. i’m holding it. ❜
❛ this is the healthiest i’ve eaten, like…ever. ❜
❛ we have to lock the doors so the monkeys don’t steal our shit! it’s costa rica 101! ❜
❛ oh, no…we’re not gonna have wifi…what a shame…i guess the only thing we have left to do is enjoy the scenery. ❜
❛ just make sure to lock your door at night so it doesn’t get in. ❜
❛ not the answer i was expecting, but it’s true nonetheless. ❜ ❛ don’t judge me, but i’m making soy sauce cookies. ❜ ❛ i just ordered ten chicken nuggets at mcdonalds and they accidentally gave me twenty. i’m so happy right now. ❜ ❛ my kinks are financial stability and joseph stalin. you could not be more of a turn off right now. ❜ ❛ i’m smart, like, ridiculously smart. “drunk white guy in a horror movie” smart. ❜ ❛ wanna die with me? ❜ ❛ is that a knife in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? because i’m really hoping it’s a knife. ❜ ❛ you can’t degrade what has already been degraded. ❜ ❛ i heard that you were talking shit and didn’t think i would hear it. ❜ ❛ tits, its, same def. ❜ ❛ i just used two different inhalers, i feel so alive. ❜ ❛ my cat’s pretty cool, but he doesn’t pay the goddamn rent. ❜ ❛ cut off their hands. no weak links in the family. ❜ ❛ wait —— i tried to kill you in my sleep? shit. unconscious me is a riot. ❜ ❛ if you’re going down, please take me with you. ❜ ❛ punch a wall. maybe that’ll help. ❜ ❛ are you disappointed or do you secretly approve of my life choices? ❜
❛ now, i’m not saying i’d suck his dick, but he’s my best friend and i can’t just leave him hangin’. ❜
❛ oh god, we’re gonna get fuckin’ jumped, aren’t we? ❜
❛ i’m a vegan —— but only on weekdays. ❜
❛ look. you hog the bed, and i sleep talk. let’s both just agree that we’re awful bedmates. ❜
❛ what? what did i do? i’m scared. should i be sorry? i am. i’m sorry. ❜
❛ i’ve never actually smoked pot in my life. i’m just naturally tired and stupid. ❜
❛ bet! those are empty threats! you aren’t gonna do shit! ❜
❛ i’m not gay or anything, but young joseph stalin, man… ❜
❛ in hindsight, playing with knives may not have been the smartest idea. but it’s also kinda your fault for not stopping me sooner. ❜
❛ i’m gonna memorize the whole pokérap and you’re gonna be real fuckin’ sorry you ever said that. ❜
❛ i just want some pizza rolls and a summer body. ❜
❛ swear to fucking god, play that shit one more time and i will curbstomp you with this fucking bible. ❜
❛ oh god, i think i’m gonna throw up. and this time i’m not exaggerating, so like, if you could be awesome and get me the trash can, that’d be great. ❜
❛ do you ever just wanna be eaten out? not, like, sexually. by a cannibal or something. ❜
❛ sometimes i cry when i see really good cinematography! leave me alone! ❜
❛ no, no, no, no, no —— it’s fake blood, see? fake! please stop yelling! ❜
❛ ever fought a bear? ❜
❛ not my fault you’re a dirty, illiterate werewolf. ❜
Frank was the rather popular boy in school. You hated him for being so over confident. “He’s such a cocky prick.” You’d complain to your bestfriend. But secretly, you loved his full-of-himself personality.
For a while you’ve been saying these things about him. Every time he passed by your locker you would mumble something to your bestfriend about how he’s a dick.
And one day, he heard you.
“Here comes Frank.” She whispered to you as Frank neared your locker.
“I can’t stand that asshole.” You said rather loudly.
You felt two hands grasp your shoulders from behind. You were spun around quickly, then shoved against the locker.
Frank’s nose and forehead pressed on yours. For a moment you felt scared, then slightly thrilled when you seen his smirk.
“I heard you’ve been talking shit.” He murmured into your neck. Your jaw hung open.
“Shhh” he kissed your neck lightly.
“I can’t stand you either.” He snorted with a raspy voice moments before sucking on your lips.
The kiss stopped, but he remained in your face. “Hmm. Somebody likes that.” He teased. You bit down hard on your lip.
The bell rang, and slowly everyone disappeared out of the halls. You waited. He wouldn’t move.
You tried to tuck away under his right shoulder but he grabbed you and slammed you against the locker again.
“Think you’re going somewhere?” He giggled. You blushed as he pressed his entire body against yours. His thighs against your thighs, his elbows resting on your shoulders. His forehead remained on your forehead. His stomach glued to your stomach, making you able to feel his breathing against yours.
And you also felt something digging into your hipbone.
“I hope that’s your hip.” You scoffed. Trying to act unpleased when in reality your underwear was soaking.
“No, no.” He smiled, showing all his perfect teeth. “It’s something so much better than that.”
Carefully taking your hand and cuffing his bulge with it, you shut your eyes and again bit down on your lip.
You felt around over his denim jeans. He breathed heavily. “I want you so bad.” He attacked your lips. You played with his lip ring and that pushed him over the edge.
He grabbed your hand and pulled you away from the lockers, speeding down the hall, you both eventually made it to his car.
In the backseat, he threw you onto your back. “I want you right now.” He got in too.
Ripping your skinny jeans off violently. Tearing apart your underwear. He slid two fingers in right away. You moaned.
He begun licking in circular patterns. Shoving his tongue into your pussy as far as it would fit. You moaned even harder.
“Oh Frank.” You threw your head back. It felt soooooo good.
You came all over his face, and he licked it all off.
He pushed his dick slowly into you as you tasted his finger tips.
3 slow pushes, then he went intense. Your vagina felt like it was vibrating from how hard he was pounding into you.
You started to yell, causing him to go harder. You yelled even louder. He let out a moan that made you cum all over his dick.
He pulled out, your vagina felt numb.
You closed your eyes as you felt him shove his entire dick into your mouth. You were still laying on your back.
He begun thrusting into your mouth. You started to gag and he held it down your throat for a few seconds before releasing. Then repeating the process.
“Cum in me .” You pleaded.
“You want me to cum inside of you?” He moaned.
“Yes!!!” You demanded with a groan.
And he did.
It felt like your stomach was being filled with water. What a load full it was. But it felt amazing beyond words.
“We need to do this more often. Fuck school, I want to fuck you instead.” Your lips met again and stayed connecting for 3 more hours.
The signs as things I've heard in my zoology class
They poop from their anus bobanus
"Leeches pretty much eat themselves into a comatose-like state and stay like that for a while." "Same."
I love that. Flatworm penis fencing. Like they fence with their penises, how cool is that? You know what, that's the class password. If an intruder ever comes here, he has to say flatworm penis fencing to get in.
You made PASTE out of this poor worm's DIGESTIVE TRACT, what the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU?! Give me that damn poker so I can poke your eyes out.
"So jellyfish eat and poop from the same place?" "Heard you been talking shit."
*At the top of her lungs* ANUS
Now the pokey end of a scorpion is technically called a sting, but we all just call it stinger. Or poisonous stabby bit, owey owey owey.
When spiders want to move to a different place, they eat their previous web because it has so much protein, and they don't want to waste it. You could say they "ate" got the time to get more protein.
*Pronounces gizzard like "gizz-ard" instead of "gizz-erd" and cries about it for the rest of the period*
This is just like my anime, except in the anime everyone died and there were no hopping sponges
Gutting a fish is just like gutting a person