We Never Hurt Nobody... Well Except For That Time We Forgot to Kill a Witness [A Meet-the-Mercs Tf2 Headcanon] (HUGE POST!)
How did the Mercs learn about each other’s past? Are they open about it?
The answers are, one night during dinner, and they are very open about it, in fact they make a lot of jokes about it.
The Mercs are a bunch of jovial and cold-hearted mercenaries. Not so surprising, right? Well the thing is you don’t become a jovial and cold-hearted mercenary by doing jack diddly squat, you had to have done something in your past life that got you this far as a hired killer. In the case of the Mercs that one dinner was a real eye-opener.
Let’s set up a scene:
It was the eighth night the Mercs officially had dinner together, they had gotten to know each other over the last week but they never got to actually know each other. Questions were buzzing in each of their heads, with the exception of the Heavy and Pyro, of what did these other crazy bastards do to get themselves working for RED. It had all started with Scout, unsurprisingly.
The sound of Tom Jones’s blessed voice was radiating from a record player from the corner of the dining room.
Jeremy had just taken a bite from a bloody Texas Rib-eye, lovingly prepared by Mr. Dell Conagher, when he finally decided to pop one of, possibly the most, dangerous questions to ask to a bunch of hungry, exhausted, and fairly insane mercenaries.
“So… um. What’d you boys do to get a gig like this?” He pointed his fork towards the group from his position at the head of the table.
At first there was silence, the other Mercs had stopped what they were doing and simultaneously turned toward the youngest member of their newly put together team. Just as the silence settled a roar of threats and violence erupted from table.
Lawrence had thrown his plate to the side and unsheathed his massive Bowie knife. He pointed it towards Scout but shifted it then towards Spy, who he’d been suspicious of since the first day.
As Sniper began threatening the Spy, Tavish shattered his bottle of Scrumpy and waved it towards Scout threateningly and began shouting at the boy, “The fuck you just ask me lad?! I’ll fuckin’ end ya, ya hear me boy? I swear on me father’s grave I’ll make you wish ya never asked me that!”
On the far end of the table Dr. Ludwig just eyed everyone with suspicion and contempt, he was waiting for one of them to make a move for him. Mikhail, The Heavy, leaned back and kept his arms crossed. He knew that if anyone tried to touch him, whomever they may be, they would be a dead man. Feeling the spiteful gaze of Dr. Ludwig on him, he looked over at the Medic who was giving him a suspicious glare. The two exchanged intense eye-contact but after a few moments of silent recognition of each-other’s strengths they then shifted their attention towards the other Mercs who looked to be preparing themselves for a brawl.
On the right-side of the table The Pyro, an unknown person of unknown gender and ethnicity, stared blankly at Scout, their mask’s lenses hid the cold unfeeling anger that burned in their eyes. Scout didn’t know what to do, but he immediately grabbed a butter knife and had it ready in case of anything.
Across from Lawrence, Marcel, in response to The Sniper’s accusation that he was out to get him for killing that woman in Melbourne, immediately raised his revolver and aimed it towards his adversary’s head. The two were literally having a game of chicken, but were waiting for the other to make a move. This didn’t perturb the other Mercs. The Demo continued to threaten Scout in a drunken and slurred fashion, while the others seemed to either stare or shout at one another.
Mr. Doe, after hearing Scout’s question however, had flung himself out of his chair, raced towards the boy, and shouted obscenities at him as he got closer and closer with a fork in hand, ready to gouge out Jeremy’s eyes. “I WILL KILL YOU! YOU DIRTY COMMUNIST SPY!”
However, lucky for the youngest member of the team, Dell ripped off his glove and punched the man square in the chest with his mechanical arm. This punch stopped The Soldier dead in his tracks and in that very moment everyone stopped their angry threats and shouting and looked over at the Engineer. He had unholstered a pistol and aimed it at Scout’s head. “Boy, you asked a really dumb question, now didn’t ya.” he spoke in his light southern drawl.
The two stared at one another, the fear in Scout’s eyes were visible, he dropped the knife and spoke quietly. “I just thought I’d ask.” He gulped.
“Oh Boy. you wanna know what I did?” He took the time to pause, “I killed man by myself.” The Engineer stated. Dell didn’t just kill a single man, he’s killed a fair number of people, but being the intelligent man he was, he knew the best way to deescalate the growing pressure in the room was to get the boys to meet one another.
“Oh yeah, tubbo? I freakin dodged the Draft, got enlisted anyways, got captured by the Vietcong, killed almost everyone in the whole frickin prison camp, brought back a few prisoners and lead those same boys on suicide missions for the US Military until Ms. Pauling got me out of that shit-show.” He slammed his fist on the table with sudden confidence. His Boston accent burst into everyone’s ears, “You think you’re some kind of badass Mr. I-killed-A-guy!?”
Dell didn’t take too kindly to this, “Listen here ya Draft-Dodging Son-of-a-Bitch, I didn’t just kill nobody. I killed the bastard that hurt my daughter.” The Texan spoke darkly, he clutched and opened his robot hand to relieve stress. “I threw that sum-bitch into an Oil Derrick. Got his head squashed like a watermelon. Boss didn’t know nothin about it as I was his buddy and all. Ain’t nobody as good as me gonna do something that bad.” He chuckled darkly.
“After that, went on a job hunt, found myself makin all sorts of contraptions. Made this thing here.” He raised his arm to show off his hand,” and this little ol’ number right here.” He swung open a closet door and a large box fell down. The metal box collapsed and a sentry-gun, of his own design, built itself right in the dining room. He then quickly pulled out a remote-control and shot a hole in space between Scout’s legs. Luckily for the youngest man, the bullet missed his pants by a narrow margin. “I’m an amiable soft-spoken man, boy. Don’t test me. I worked hard for 11 PhDs and broke my damn back workin on the oilfields. I ain’t gonna get mouthed off to by some draft-dodgin’ city-slicker.”
The younger man crossed his arms and scowled, “still can’t beat me ya gas-station monkey.” Scout retorted, but that comment only earned him a sneer from Dell, who was also aiming the gun to shoot the Scout in the head.
“Really?” Sniper said, sarcastically surprised, forcing the others to switch their attention to him. “You bloody wankers may have hunted men for a few years, but I’ve hunted the biggest bloody game for years in the outback. I’ve hunted the biggest cats in the jungles of Africa and South America, and Moose the size of bloody trees in the tundra of Alaska.” The tone in his voice told stories none of the men were prepared for, they could feel the hunter had dealt with some kind of primordial fear while being in the wilds. “Nearly got mauled by a pack of wolves, ya know. I even got stuck by Bull Moose, broke 10 bones in me body.” he paused, the Mercs were astonished.
“But you don’t wanna hear that, now do ya.” He looked at everyone and continued, “Wanan know why I’m here? I killed me wife, now it ain’t cause I wanted to, the bitch wanted me dead, so I bludgeoned her to death with me granddad’s ol’ golf trophy. When I realized I liked killing, I made a business. Killed 47 people as a gun for hire across the globe. I even bagged me a politician down in Melbourne comin to visit the Minister. Domed her with a big ol’ round to the head, right between the eyes.” He took a bullet from his chest pocket and twirled it in his hand. He then crossed his arms in satisfaction and smiled.
The room went silent with respect for the Aussie. Then, down the table from Sniper a loud thump broke the silence. “I can beat that,” The Demo piped from his seat, as he tossed the broken bottle in the trash. “I blew up me ol’ grammar school ‘cause me parents left me there from birth. Killed me first set of adoptive parents with nothin but a wee bit of sulfur ta’ make some gunpowder.” His thick Scottish-accented voice shook the table with force. “When me real parents found me they trained to me make even better explosives for the rest of me bloody life. Killed a good many men tryin to hurt me and mine. I even got arrested and broke out of an English prison with nothin but a cup of water, a deck o’ playin card, and a chair leg.”
As Demo finished the Soldier got up from his position on the ground, he’d been laying there clutching his chest since Dell punched him, but he was paying attention, “Yer nothin but a lyin Englishman!” Soldier announced, garnering everyone’s attention as he got up off the floor. “I killed over a thousand men. I studied how to use every single gun I know today by myself and by hand! I fought Nazis up until the War ended in 1949, and I stand by these truths as stated in the Constitution of the United States. GOD BLESS AMERICA!” He shouted with patriotic zeal.
The reaction he got was nothing but skepticism. But after Dr. Ludwig piped in and explained the truth, the Mercs were quickly swayed to the Soldier’s side.
Scout then chirped in after the Medic explained the situation with Soldier. “Well what the hell did you do Deutsch-bag, you don’t look like you can kill anybody… Ya frickin Hospital Nurse.” The other Mercenaries didn’t laugh.
The Medic stood up to his feet. He stared them all down, some visible surprise could be seen on their faces as he looked at each of them in the eyes. “Do you wish to know what I did?” He said curtly.
The tense silence affirmed him to continue, “I killed 23 Nazi officials, by hand. I even experimented on 5 of them, I embedded a Baboon Uterus in one, froze another, and stitched multiple arms on another one’s body as he screamed and begged for God to kill him. There were two more but I have no interest in acknowledging them right now.” He stopped to take a sip of wine. “I also castrated most or all of them with what I had on hand at the time, which was usually a piece of sheet metal. It was a relatively gory affair, but I would like to make it clear, I will not hesitate to do the same to you if you dare call me a “Deutsch-Bag” again, Herr Deluca.” He ended with a piercing gaze traced towards Scout’s forehead. Dr. Ludwig’s tone was darker and heavier than the others.
The Sniper coughed awkwardly hoping to ease the tension. The rest of the team seemed to shift in their seats, most of them felt a little sorry for the boy. “Hey, listen Doc, I’m sorry I called ya that, but um-”
The ever patient doctor just rose his hand to signal him to stop. Jeremy simply shifted his gaze downwards and stared at his plate in submission.
Silence once again over took the 9 mercenaries but when the Pyro began flicking a lighter, the others turned their attention towards… It.
Pyro sat there and stared at the little flame, but as Sniper was about to ask a question the Pyro tilted it’s head and brought the lighter close to the lenses of their mask.
After seeing that almost equally as horrifying action by their resident Pyro, the Mercs then shifted their gaze, out of fear, to The Spy. He simply stated after taking a drag of his cigarette and exhaling, “my information is personal Gentlemen, but I will tell you this. I killed a very important man, I liberated France, I broke out of prison 71 times, killed almost all the guards in two prison breaks, was convicted of high-treason, murder, theft, attempt of assassination, assassination, man-slaughter, and a whole slew of other crimes, et cetera.” He took another drag and let off a puff of smoke and casually put out his cigarette on Pyro’s suit. “Gentlemen, I will not share anything any further, it’s not you, but if I told you anymore, I would be obliged to fill this room with neurotoxin.” The team just motioned to him to not fill the room with neurotoxin and they turned their gaze to the Heavy.
The last merc that hadn’t shared his story was the big Russian man who’d been casually sitting there with his arms crossed almost napping but he awoke when he felt their gaze on him.
They waited for him to speak, and he rose from his seat. He was a towering mass of muscle and anger fueled hatred. “I broke out of Russian Gulag. Killed all the guards, and saved family. I own a big gun, her name is Sasha. Do not cross me, or I will end you.” He bluntly stated. The large man just sat back down.
The Mercs sat there and stewed in the shortened stories of everyone’s lives. But as they returned to eating their cold dinner it didn’t take long before the first cackle exploded from Scout’s mouth. He sat there laughing at the absurdity of each of their lives and how clearly messed up everyone was. The first to join in the merriment was Demo, followed by Sniper, then Soldier, Pyro, Engineer, Medic, Heavy, and finally Spy.
The Mercs laughter culminated in them getting three crates of wine, and two boxes of cigars. They drunk and smoked together as they listened to Tom Jones on loop. They cracked jokes about themselves and at one another.
Engineer and Heavy were having an arm wrestling contest while Soldier told stories that would usually force one of the two to lose their concentration and lose the contest from laughter. Pyro and Scout were sitting together when Scout mentioned executing a man with his baseball bat, which caused Pyro to laugh uncontrollably.
On the other-side of the room Demo and Medic were having a wild discussion about Medic’s exploits. “Ya bloody German castrator! Good on ya for helpin me Dad get outta there!” Tavish shouted as he gave Dr. Ludwig a quick hug. The two downed each other’s wine and broke the glass over each other’s heads.
“So you killed your wife?” Spy spoke to Sniper as he took a drag from his cigar.
“Aye, but I don’t regret it, the woman tried shanking me with a bloody sharpened stick!” The two burst into laughter with Spy coughing up smoke, which incited more laughter.
After Scout finally left Pyro for a second to grab a quick drink he heard
“Delilah” come on. He quickly grabbed everyone and they began singing together for the first time.
So if you’re wondering how it ended after that, the Mercs literally fell asleep drinking and smoking and the next morning had a horrendous hangover.
This scene was inspired by that scene in the movie “American Hustle” when during a party two of the main characters are singing “Delilah” really happily, a little drunk. In the context I was thinking of, picture the Mercs just drinking and laughing at/to their horrible previous lives and just shirking it off for being badass mercs who get paid millions, like laughing about almost being killed by their spouses, being killers, war criminals, just all around bastards. Basically, saying “Fuck it we’re fucking awesome now” and singing to this song:
Cause honestly, just like, at that point they were at “Fuck it we were horrible then but we’re better now. Let’s drink and smoke and enjoy good company”
Allegorically, the song itself is about a man killing a woman, who he loved to some degree or another, and reminiscing about it and wanting forgiveness for what he had done. To the man, it was an act of passion since he had caught his wife cheating on him. So now, instead of Tom Jones (The Scout’s favorite singer, and a still quite famous celebrity) narrator killing his lover, it’s the nine mercenaries singing about their “lover” (Their past), how they killed her, and how they want to be somewhat forgiven for it. However, the “I don’t care” attitude takes away from the actual meaning and sincerity and they actually take pride in it, and don’t actually want forgiveness.
(What I figured the Scout and Sniper to look like as they sung [Christian Bale as Lawrence Mundy and Jeremy Renner as Jeremy Deluca] ^^^)
Here’s the full song, if you like it, and the Lyrics if you want to drink some wine, smoke a cigar, and SING WITH THE MERCS:
I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window I saw the flickering shadows of love on her blind She was my woman As she deceived me I watched and went out of my mind My, my, my, Delilah Why, why, why, Delilah I could see that girl was no good for me But I was lost like a slave that no man could free At break of day when that man drove away, I was waiting I cross the street to her house and she opened the door She stood there laughing I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more My, my, my Delilah Why, why, why Delilah So before they come to break down the door Forgive me Delilah I just couldn’t take any more
[insert trumpet solo here]
She stood there laughing I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more My, my, my, Delilah Why, why, why, Delilah So before they come to break down the door Forgive me Delilah I just couldn’t take any more Forgive me Delilah I just couldn’t take any
also i think this is a good time to announce i am beginning my country phase where i’ll be using y'all, yeehaw, tarnation, hanky panky, etc interchangeably throughout any further discourse whether about Skam or otherwise. thank u for understanding this necessary phase in my life and i hope u all can embrace this new me with open arms and an open heart.
Tobirama in heaven watching Sasuke and Sakura's marriage:
ah shit here we go lets all pray no one touches that girl because if something happens to her, shits gonna go down. I dont want another madara, ya hear? Now bow down and pray
I want Bellamy to be happy and loved and to know he can rely on the person he loves. I want Clarke to be happy and loved, and to know she can be vulnerable with the person she loves.
Funnily enough, for BOTH characters, that happens only with each other. So… yeah, you don’t want me to ship Bellarke? Gimme other people with whom Clarke or Bellamy can have that kind of relationship and we’ll talk.
Summary: You get injured on a run but Daryl saved you and admits his feelings.
Warnings: Swearing, violence, fluff.
You sat in the car with Daryl and you couldn’t help but glance at him every 5 seconds. You thought he was ridiculously handsome and your eyes were just drawn to him. He didn’t make it obvious but he could feel your eyes on him, it made him nervous. He didn’t know what was going through your mind, what if you were judging him? He wanted to impress you but he didn’t know how so he just kept his eyes on the road and pretended to be oblivious to the eyes burning into him. You met Daryl and the group at the prison but you were never close to Daryl, now in Alexandria you’d like to say you could call him a good friend, even though you wanted more. You pulled up outside the pharmacy and got prepared.
“Ya ready?” He asked as he stood at the door. You nodded and he banged on the glass to alert any walkers inside, there were only 3 so it didn’t take long to take care of them. You went inside and started to take what you needed, stuffing it into your bag. You picked up a few boxes of condoms and Daryl raised his eyebrow at you.
“Somethin’ yer not tellin’ me?” He smirked and playfully nudged your shoulder.
“I wish! They’re for Rick and Michonne. We aren’t all lucky enough to be getting some in the apocalypse.” You chuckled as you continued to put supplies in the bag. He shook his head and laughed at you.
“I’m gonna take these to the car.” You smiled at him as you left the pharmacy, he replied in typical Daryl style with a grunt and nod. You put your bag in the back seat when you suddenly felt someone roughly grab a fist full of hair, yanking your head back, you felt the cool metal of a blade being pushed to your throat.
“Make a noise and your dead.” You heard a deep voice behind you. You whimpered slightly from the fear and also pain of your hair being pulled so hard. Your heart started hammering in your chest and tears started to slide down your cheeks, you didn’t know what to do.
“Lets wait for your friend shall we?” The asshole smirked as he moved you so you were both facing the pharmacy door, next to the car. Daryl walked out casually and when he saw you he stopped in his tracks, suddenly aiming the bow at the man. He saw your lip tremble and he could see how scared you were, it made him feel sick.
“Let her go!” Daryl roared, the anger in his voice was like fire but it also held panic at the thought of you being murdered by this prick. The guy just laughed at him and pulled your hair tighter whilst pushing the blade harder on your throat, causing a small trickle of blood. You couldn’t help it and you let out a choked sob, your whole body was shaking. Daryl was panicking, his eyes darting from you to the man. There was no way he could get a clear shot of him without hitting you, so he slowly took his backpack off.
“Let her go first.” He demanded, his eyes held such ferociousness you were surprised that laser beams didn’t start shooting out of them. He was trembling slightly, just about keeping it together. His jaw was clenched tightly and his breathing was ragged, he wanted nothing more than to jump on this guy and beat the holy hell out of him for just breathing the same air as you, but he couldn’t.
“And how will I know you won’t shoot me?” He sneered, yanking your head for dramatic effect and making you yelp. Daryl didn’t like it one bit but he didn’t know what else to do, so he threw the bag to the man.
“Alright. I’m taking the car.” He laughed, he used you as a human shield as he got in the car, then just before letting you go, he stabbed you in the side as a distraction so he could drive away without being followed. You cried out as the blade pierced your flesh, the pain was horrific.
“Y/n!” Daryl yelled as he ran to you as the car sped off. You collapsed on the floor shaking, clutching your wound. Daryl grabbed a rag from his pocket and pushed it onto your wound, you could see his hands trembling.
“We gotta get ya back alright? Im gon’ have to carry ya cos we gotta walk.” He soothed, his voice cracking slightly. Your eyes started to close, your body felt weak, you were losing blood fast.
“No, no, no! Y/n! Ya gotta stay awake darlin’, please?” He cried as he grabbed your face to get you to look at him. He was struggling to contain his tears as the realisation of possibly losing you hit him hard. He couldn’t lose you, not now, he needed you.
“I’m…so tired Daryl.” You whispered as you struggled to stay conscious.
“I know sweetheart but ya gotta fight it ok? I need ya to stay with me.” He said softly as he ripped a piece off your shirt and tied it around you to hold the rag in place.
“Am I…am I gonna die?” You asked sadly as your lip trembled slightly.
“Nah, not a chance y/n. Ya ain’t goin’ nowhere ya hear? I’m gon’ lift ya now darlin’ and its gon’ hurt like a bitch, but we need to get ya back.” You cried out as he lifted you, the pain getting worse. You couldn’t control the small sobs as the pain took over and you cried into Daryls warm chest.
“I’m sorry sweetheart, I know it hurts.” He said with a shaky voice. He couldn’t run without causing you too much pain so he sped walked as fast as he could. He tried to stay calm but inside he was freaking out, the chance of you dying was very real and it was killing him.
“Just leave me Daryl, I’m not gonna make it.” You whispered. You were getting weaker by the second and it was getting harder to stay awake.
“No! Ya gon’ be fine! Stop sayin’ shit like that! We’re gon’ get back and get ya patched up, everythin’s gon’ be fine. I’m gon’ look after ya and treat ya like a fuckin’ queen cos ya deserve it. And ya ain’t goin’ outside those fuckin’ walls ever again.” He commanded as he looked down at you.
“A queen?” You asked amused, trying to ignore the pain.
“Yeah, a fuckin’ queen. Yer amazin’ y/n, I love everythin’ about ya, from the hair on yer pretty head, down to yer soft lil toes. I ain’t ever felt like this before, I didn’t even know what the fuck was goin’ on at first. The things ya make me feel, ya only have to smile and my insides turn to mush. Ya makin’ me soft woman. Ya deserve the world…fuck, ya deserve more. And I ain’t got nothin’ to offer ya, so I never said anythin’, but fuck it. I’m in love with ya y/n, and ya ain’t gon’ die cos I won’t let it happen.” He admitted sternly, avoiding your gaze in fear of rejection. You were silent for a moment, taking in what he had said, the pain in your side suddenly not as bad. Daryl glanced down at you, silently freaking out that he said too much.
“You…You love me?” You asked in disbelief with a slight smile on your face.
“Yeah, every lil bit of ya.” He chuckled slightly.
“I love you too Daryl. I honestly didn’t think you felt the same.” You admitted shyly.
“I’d be a fool not to.” He smiled looking at you, your words had lifted him greatly. You loved him, he was actually lucky enough to have someone as amazing as you that loved him. All the years of being made to feel worthless and unlovable were erased in an instant at your words. You groaned in pain as it started to hurt more again just as you got to the gates of Alexandria. Your eyes started to close again and you couldn’t control it.
“Wake up sweetheart, ‘member what I said, ya gotta stay awake!” He panicked as he looked at you, but his words fell on deaf ears as your eyes rolled to the back of your head and the world went black.
Your eyes fluttered open and adjusted to the light, you soon realised you weren’t dead because your side was hurting like a bitch. You looked to your side and saw Daryl sleeping in the chair, you were in the infirmary. You’d been patched up and had no idea how long you had been out. You tried to sit up and moaned in pain as you did, the stitches were pulling. Daryls eyes shot open and he flew towards you.
“Thank fuck yer awake!” He cried as he sat on the bed and grabbed your hand, clutching it like his life depended on it.
“How long was I out?” You asked as you tiredly rubbed your eyes. He smiled at you, thinking you looked adorable.
“Just one day, but I was startin’ to worry I wasn’t gon’ see those pretty eyes again darlin’.” He admitted as he stroked small circles into the palm of your hand. You smiled at his words and blushed as you remembered his confession on the way back. You bit your lip and with your free and hand you cupped his cheek, stroking it lovingly with your thumb. He sighed contently and leant into your soft hand, the feel of your skin setting his ablaze.
“Come here.” You smiled, trying to pull him closer. He leant in and his lips caressed yours in tender but loving kiss. You could feel his raw emotion in the kiss, the love, the pain from nearly losing you, it was all there. You broke apart and he rested his head on yours as you both smiled at each other like a pair of love struck teenagers.
“I love ya Queen y/n. ” He smirked, making you chuckle.
“I love you too King Daryl.” You smiled as he laced his fingers with yours.
You couldn’t help but be a little grateful at the fact you got stabbed because you knew that Daryl probably wouldn’t have revealed his feelings otherwise. As you stared into his beautiful blue eyes you felt excited for the future. For the first time in a while, you finally felt hope.
I like Shawn so so much and I respect him as an artist and a human infinitely. He’s very attractive, as we all know. As a decent human being, I find it disrespectful to objectify him outright, because it undervalues him as an artist. Buuuut we all like to sin a little bit, so under the cut here is an appreciation post based solely on Shawn’s physical appearance as of late. He works so hard and getting so buff and I’m so glad it’s giving him some self-confidence. ❤️❤️❤️
“ Anyway newbie, Schnee’s new gang is already makin’ and name for themselves. Some have been wisperin’ the name ’The Sisters Grimm’, I dunno. All I know is that one, They’re all hot as hell and two, They are dangerous as fuck so it’s best to just get outta their way, ya hear me? Good. Now, Lemme tell ya ‘bout their friends..”
A college!AU where Bobby and Karen lease rooms in their house to students studying at the local college, as their own kids have long since moved out and Karen sort of hates all the empty space. (Bobby honestly doesn’t mind the quiet one bit, but then again, he’s not the one who makes the decisions around here.)
There’s always lot of interest because it’s a three-minute walk to campus - not to mention the rent includes a daily, home-cooked breakfast. They rent out the rooms to three new pairs of roommates this year: Anna and Jo in the room by the kitchen, followed by Benny and Victor who take the first available room upstairs. The final two to sign the lease are also the only pair who aren’t already friends. They’re a sophomore named Dean and a junior named Cas, and each tells the Singers that he’ll be fine living with a stranger.
Or so they say.
The arguments start immediately.
Dean’s music is too loud. Cas needs to stop crunching on Pringles while he reads. He should also watch where he drops his stupid red shirt, because it got mixed with Dean’s laundry and now everything’s pink - like, bubblegum pink. Well, Dean hogs the bathroom - yeah, ‘cause it takes ten minutes just to wipe the water Cas dripped all over the place - and it goes back and forth and back and forth until everyone in the house has to give them a wide berth.
Karen is concerned, of course, and tells Bobby as much one night. But he’s been observing them, how they glare at each other over their pancakes every morning. He just shrugs at his wife and says, “Darlin’, those idjits are blind.”
In March, Dean’s brother Sam comes to visit, but with great timing Dean falls sick from the flu and, to his shock, Cas offers to show Sammy around. He spends all of his free time doing just that, and Sam, totally impressed, demands that Dean be nice to him because there’s no way Cas is the same guy he’s complained about all year. And when Cas drops Sam off at the airport, after which he brings back chicken noodle soup for Dean, Dean takes the thermos and mumbles his thanks, a part of him wondering if his brother had been right.
Then, sometime in April, Dean and Cas come down to breakfast holding hands. Everyone stops what they’re doing to just stare; Benny drops his fork and Jo and Anna clutch each other’s arms. “You’re… kidding?” Victor asks, at which Cas shakes his head and pulls Dean a little closer. Karen is beaming with her hand fluttering over her heart, while Bobby rolls his eyes and says, “No handsy stuff, ya hear? Now siddown. If you start feedin’ each other, I swear to god.”
Dean may or may not sneak Cas a forkful of eggs either way.
“Jesus..” Jack muttered under his breath, walking over to the mirror for what felt like the twentieth time this month and pulling up his hoodie. It wasn’t uncommon that he did this, checked out how he looked in the mirror. It was the only way that he could truly see the progress of his pregnancy without an ultrasound.
Keeping his hoodie hitched up, the Irishman ran a hand over the rounding that was his stomach. At around six months, he’d grown quite a bit in the past couple weeks and was beginning to panic about whether or not he would be able to hide himself any longer.
Mark and Jack weren’t too sure when they had first found out about him being pregnant to let it be announced to their followers. Having made their final decision three months in that they would keep it as private as possible since Mark wanted Jack to have as much stress-free a pregnancy as possible.
But coming up to around seven months was proving a problem, his hoodies were struggling to hide what lay underneath them and Jack knew that their next meet-up was only two weeks away. There was no doubt that people would notice something different about the Irishman’s appearance, that included newer videos too.
Tugging his hoodie off completely, Jack stood himself in the full-view of the mirror and rested a hand on his stomach, smiling down at it when he felt a gentle kick hit the palm of his hand. “I guess yer awake..” The Irishman chuckled, rubbing the area where his child made their self known.
“Can’t believe how big you’ve gotten, I mean am happy but at the same time, it’s a complete pain in the arse” Laughs gently, patting his belly and feeling his baby kick back just as hard. “Hey! Calm down ya little shit!”
It was a bit stupid to scold a foetus but Jack couldn’t help it, even though they weren’t born yet, the younger man had grown quite an attachment to the little thing inside him, well, if you’d even call them little anymore.
The kicking continued and the Irishman scolded them again, patting and rubbing at the area at which the baby constantly kicked and hit, it was almost like they were doing it on purpose. “I swear t’ god..” Jack grumbled, sitting himself down on the bed and letting out a small sigh.
“Yer evil ya know that? Can’t ya leave me in peace?” Runs his hand over his bump and sighs a little more heavily this time, exhaustion was taking hold of his body and it wasn’t even seven at night yet.
It was nice though, having this private time with his baby. Usually it was Mark talking to them, Jack felt too embarrassed in front of him to even say a single word. So he took opportunities when he could.
Suddenly, his attention was caught by something falling over inside the wardrobe. He stood up, making sure to not fall over as his balance was awkward. He made his way toward the wardrobe, eyebrows quirked in confusion since he had no clue what had caused that noise.
He opened the doors and he was taken aback when he realised that Mark was stood in the there and in his hand, he held a small video camera. “Are ya.. Are ya filming me?!”
“I.. Um..” Lost for words, Mark slowly stepped out of the wardrobe and and backed away from him until he was pressed against the wall. Jack’s anger was real and terrifying.
“What the fuck is wrong with ya Mark? Are ya gonna upload that? What even is yer deal?!”
Stepping up off the wall and grabbing Jack’s shoulders, the Irishman tried to squirm out of his grip but to no avail since Mark happened to be much more stronger than him. “Hey.. Calm down.. I just wanted to have a video of you.. Of you talking to the baby. I’ve never heard you before and it, it made me feel happy”
Jack’s face flushed a deep red and stopped squirming, staring straight up at Mark with raised eyebrows. “So what were ya plannin’ on doin’ with that video?” The American looked down at the ground, biting at his lip.
“I was gonna save it on my computer and play it to myself when I needed cheering up..”
Feeling warmth spread itself within his chest, Jack pulled his lover into a tight hug and kissed him on the cheek. “You are literally the biggest fuckin’ nerd in the world and I love ya cause of that” The older man chuckled and wrapped his arms around Jack’s bare waist, pulling him close against his body. Well as close as they could get.
“Can.. Can I keep it then?” Rolling his eyes, the younger man nodded before listening to Mark giggling away to himself, much to his confusion since he didn’t know what he was laughing at. “What?”
Grinning at his boyfriend, Mark ran his hands over Jack’s lower back and kissed him on the lips. “You talk to the baby like ya talk to me, I think it’s cute..” Jack blushed, hiding his face in Mark’s chest.
“Now ya know why I don’t talk to them in front of ya” The Irishman mumbled, voice muffled by the material of Mark’s shirt. “Shame, well I guess I can hear ya now since I have that video” Jack let out a huffed moan, lifting his head to look up at him. “Don’t fuckin’ push it Fischbach..”
Laughing away to himself, Mark kissed him once again and rested his hands on Jack’s stomach, feeling as their baby kicked away inside him. “God, I fucking love you” Stares down at him, a genuine smile on his face.
“I love ya too, ya fuckin’ doof” Kisses him once again, resting his forehead against Mark’s as they stood there. Admiring their child who if anything, they couldn’t wait to meet.