healthybeing

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Journal Entry #12

Alright I’m really stepping into the lion’s den here. Time to get edgy with it.

So I found this blog.
@clearmind-healthybeing

She’s already blocked me so I can’t tag her in this post but
@chinon here has been like the side commentator through this whole ordeal so, hey buddy, if you find this, pass the fire on.

So it all begins with this post I read from her. I’ll leave it here.

I understand that going through a situation like this could put anyone on edge. Dealing with people under the influence could range from being a simple nuisance to lethal. I’ve been through that before.
I thought the way she handled her situation was a bit over the top (just based off what I know from the post) but it was handled appropriately nonetheless.

But here’s what got me thinking.

Maybe I’m reading this wrong, but what this sentence is telling me is that this woman was expecting another confrontation with this guy sooner or later, implying that whatever business these two had before, it wasn’t left as a shut and closed case. Although this part would contradict my claim.

So what else could’ve been “dragging out” between you two if you didn’t want to see him again?
But you know what, in the meantime, I’ll just chalk this up to poor choice of wording, happens to the best of us. But something else caught my attention.

From what I know from this post, this is all what the guy actually did.

This is the woman’s take on what he was doing.

This kind of thought process is not unfamiliar to me. This is someone who’s been through hell and back.
And it’s nearly impossible to have a life like that without developing deep rooted biases and preconceived notions of certain types of people.
I’m not saying what she thinks isn’t worth validation. As a matter of fact. some of what she has to say I actually agree with. But based on the actions this guy took (based off this post), this guy in no way was trying to abuse this woman. Harassing, yes. He was being a nuisance. But that seems to have been the extent of it.
Him being drunk is barely an excuse to justify his actions. But his actions mean something. Unless this man is truly unable to hear someone out that doesn’t align with his interests (unlike someone I know), he could be just confused. If I had sex with someone and they didn’t want to have a relationship with me, a couple of years ago, that would’ve confused the hell out of me. Like really fuck me up. But I know now that hoes are just gonna do what hoes do. I’m just giving the benefit of a doubt where I can.

Just pointing this segment out to clarify that I know I’m not getting the whole picture between this dynamic. This is a rather suspicious sidenote to add on though.

So this is where things get spicy.

I send her a piece of pretty crass, but straightforward advice.

First off:
I never said that it’s your fault that men don’t respect you.
I never implied that I was excusing shitty men behavior.

I did say, “Just stop fucking with bitch niggas…”
I did imply that you don’t have to deal with people that purposefully treat you wrong for long periods of time. It can take less than a semester.

I know that sometimes there’s just no dodging an asshole. But you can be rid of them relatively quickly. You can even go as far as to never have sex with them in the first place, and you would be more better off than how you began. Crazy, right?

I could see that you were having a tough time understanding what I was saying. I don’t entirely blame you. You have deep rooted biases and preconceived notions. We all do, some more than others. So I tried explaining more in depth here (sorta).

I love how she sorta included everything else I said but in her twisted point of view. I’d show a screenshot of what I actually said, but I don’t have access to them anymore.

So here’s the part I’m assuming really triggered this woman.

And I still stick by this claim. It’s basic human interaction. She probably missed the part where I also said, “depending on the kind of person they are.” But I won’t fault her for that.

This is also what I went on to say though (if memory serves me well). I put out a quote that I remembered a while back.

“You deserve the sex you receive”.

I went on to talk about how the sex she had with this guy before, that meant something, whether she knew that or not. It definitely meant something to him, and she should’ve been more sensitive to that.
But even disregarding that, sex itself is not something that can be shallow or care free, despite people’s best efforts. How people have sex and who they have sex with speaks volumes about that person. Just the act itself, it’s an invasion of your own privacy and space that you are willingly letting someone else occupy. You put a level of faith and trust in that person, no matter how significant. This rings especially true for women, who most times are on the receiving end of sex, the most vulnerable position in sex. And to put yourself willingly in such a compromising state for another person is not something to just brush off. So whatever comes out of a decision like that, you’ll most likely deserve it, good or bad.

Funny how she never made a comment on this though.

I also went on to say that I practice what I preach and that I know living ain’t easy. And that’s about all I remember.

So @clearmind-healthybeing, this is my final reply to you.

Life can be shit. Utter, total shit. You know that more personally than I do. If what you say is true, if I had gone what you went through, I wouldn’t be here today. I’d either be dead, on the run, hospitalized or some other god forsaken situation. My intention was never to disrespect you or harass you (although at this point, I can understand if you consider this harassment, so I’m making sure this is final), and I was not victim blaming you for anything you did. I’m sure in plenty of ways you have great qualities. I saw your blog and found “Vegetarian” and I was sold.
Respect I see is a big factor for you, and I respect that. And I hope that you see through this post that I was trying to understand your point of view and give you the benefit of the doubt where I could. You were unable to give me that same respect, but I understand, I won’t hold that against you. I apologize for anything that I said that made you upset, I only meant to say those things for your best interests. I can’t begin to imagine the struggles you go through as a woman, which I know is worlds different than a man’s life, but I can relate to you as a PoC and someone who has been through their own version of hell. I know it feels like sometimes the whole world is against you, that in a way, everyone’s got a dick and they all want to fuck you with it and leave you to wallow in their remains. But we just gotta push through that shit and learn, adapt. But sometimes we gotta take a chance too. To be vulnerable and accepting and hope for the best. And if shit don’t work out, push it out of the way to minimize the damage. If we’re stuck living, might as well make the most of it.

And as for you @chinon, got something else clever to say?

anonymous asked:

Do you ever get so stressed that you can't focus on anything? This happens to me a lot before exams and I can't really afford to put studying away to feel better at such times. Do you have any advice?

oh boy, this was me during my exams!!! the way i conquered it was by staying away from social media, set routines and plan ahead. 

firstly, you have to ask yourself, what’s stressing you out? i suggest writing down a list so you get it off your mind and chest. you’ll feel so much better. write everything from the fear of getting bad results, procrastinating, fear of not remembering any information, waking up late on the day of the exam, etc. after that, you basically just let out everything that’s stressing you out. it’ll keep your mind off it for a while. 

secondly, set a routine. morning and night. in the morning, i usually do a 5 minute stretch, wash my face, drink water (as soon as i wake up), eat a heavy breakfast (protein and carbs) then start my day by studying for 2 hours through the pomodoro technique (25 minute study sessions then 5 minute break, repeat 4 times). this has helped me focus and somehow retain information better. BUT before i start studying, i write down what i want to get done that day. this gives you something to do and motivation to get them all ticked off. 

during my breaks, i do a 5 minute guided meditation on calm.com, stretch and/or go for a 10 minute jog around the block. this will keep you focused, release some endorphins, and feel a bit of alive and active. it has helped me a lot during my exam block.

rewards!! rewards are also important. set yourself goals and rewards after achieving them. for example, if i study for 7 hours today, i will watch 2 episodes of the office. this way, you have something to look forward to after working hard instead of scrolling through social media.

music!! music for me, is vital to studying. without it, i wouldn’t be able to concentrate and focus and i tend to get a little stressed out when it’s too quiet. so i put on some classical music (there are many playlists on youtube, spotify and 8tracks) as they are quite relaxing but encourages productivity.

to overall avoid stress:

start early and avoid procrastinating - which is something we all struggle with. but remember the 5 minute rule. force yourself to do something for 5 minutes, and if you make it through, it’s likely that you will continue studying for longer. 

so remember:

  • take adequate breaks
  • set a routine
  • make time for yourself
  • plan ahead
  • eat healthy
  • be active
  • avoid procrastination as much as you can

here are some of my favourite study-based youtubers!! check them out, frankly thomas frank who has helped so so much. 

i hope this helps, and if you have any more questions please dont hesitate to ask! xx

ahmney  asked:

Hi! My exam is on June 26. (In 2 months) Do you have some technique to study? I have to approve this exam, is literally to define my almost whole life ;-;. Is of 128 questions and I'm scared. Thank you! And I hope you have some solution over there

hello there! :) i have some tips on studying that can help you! 

STUDYING TIPS
these are going to be very general since i don’t know what kind of exam you’re taking (i just know it’s very important, so we’re going to treat it as such!): 

  • set small study goals for each study session
    • this will keep you focused
    • you don’t have to overload yourself - these goals can be very small
  • set big goals you want to reach for each week 
  • create incentives for achieving goals so you feel rewarded for being productive 
  • GET SLEEP 
    • rest 
    • sleep early 
  • drink water
  • eat healthy as much as you can 
    • there will be times where you’ll be tempted
    • it’s okay - just don’t go overboard
    • the main point is to keep your brain and body healthy
  • be diligent when studying 
    • try to avoid all distractions
    • you’ll be able to learn better when you are 100% focused 
  • organize your study area before getting to work 
    • clean desk is a clean mind 
  • clean your bedroom 
    • if you see it cluttered, you might get stressed instantly every time 
  • check out this post by elkstudies!! it’s a masterpost of study tips :D 

that’s what i have!! i hope this helps you. good luck, and you are very smart for starting early!