healthy beginnings

My Reasons for Losing Weight

For My Health

  • To have better skin
  • So I don’t sweat profusely
  • So I can walk up a flight of stairs and not feel out of breath
  • So my back won’t hurt
  • So my knee won’t hurt 
  • So my doctor will never say, “you really need to lose some weight” to me ever again
  • So I don’t have to worry about arthritis or other illnesses that accompany obesity

For Vanity

  • To feel better about myself
  • To look good in tight clothes
  • To be able to wear shorts in the summer
  • To be able to go into any store, and buy the clothes I like, not just the ones that fit
  • To not feel awkward about going clothes shopping or shoe shopping
  • To be able to order clothes from a catalogue without worrying if they will fit
  • To be able to wear something that doesn’t say PLUS on it
  • So my pants won’t wear out between my legs while the rest of them are still in good shape
  • So I can look in the mirror from the neck down and like what I see
  • So I can wear tight jeans
  • I want to wear underwear that looks sexy
  • So I can show off my legs
  • So I can go into public and not feel like people are judging me
  • So I can wear tops without worrying about the dents from my bra showing trough
  • So that my boobs stick out more than my stomach – not the other way around

For a Better Quality of Life

  • To be able to use a public toilets comfortably
  • I want to be able to read the scale by just looking down, straight down
  • So I don’t get those indents on my thighs from the arms of the chair I’m sitting in
  • So I can cross my legs
  • So I can get up from the floor in one smooth move and not a grab and hold on to something move
  • So I can sit on a bar stool and I’m actually sitting ON it, not on it and around it too
  • So a regular towel goes all the way around me 
  • So my socks pull all the way up
  • So I can hug my knees to my chest again, and it’s comfortable
  • So I can fit into the cinema/stadium/airplane seats comfortably
  • So I can bend over comfortably to tie my shoes

For My Self-esteem

  • So I can go swimming without being self-conscious
  • So I don’t worry about chairs breaking
  • So I don’t have to ask for the additional seat belt on an airplane
  • So I can dance without being self-conscious
  • So I can go on rides at amusement parks again and not have to experience the embarrassment of having to get off because I don’t fit
  • So I don’t have to worry about the maximum weight before I using things
  • So I don’t feel awkward when people start talking about losing weight
  • So no one can ever call me “a big girl” ever again
  • So I’m not embarrassed to have my picture taken
  • So I can say my weight out loud
  • So furniture doesn’t groan when I sit on it, or wear out long before it should because I’m too heavy

Trauma affects how we give and receive love


I really like how the last arc segued into this one through Arima and Kaneki both belatedly realizing they loved each other. In retrospect it really opened the dialogue for all the different ways characters process their feelings, and how their individual histories sometimes make it hard to receive those feelings from others. 

Arima and Kaneki were both so blinded by their hatred towards themselves that they failed to see how another person might care about them. 

Urie was so obsessed with shouldering everyone’s burdens and trying to get approval that he didn’t know there were people already proud of him. Kuriowa was raised in a family that values love over work, and he reached right out for Yoriko… the list goes on.

Mutsuki, however, is a person who does not know real love at all. This is what struck me most about his dialogue this chapter:

“Don’t go away.”

The poor kid is so emotionally devestated that somewhere back in the confines of his mind he equates Haise’s presence to his happiness.

“When you’re not here… without you, I…”

Mutsuki’s capture and ultimate collapse began with Haise leaving. If it weren’t for the attack on the LE building, Haise never would have stepped down, Mutsuki never would have moved forward to find strength on his own, wouldn’t have gone to recon at Rue, and never would have been tortured.

Or so he thinks. Haise was there when he was at his most stable, so Haise needs to stay here for him to be happy again, because happiness is love and how else will a “disgusting” person like himself get love if he doesn’t force it?

Mutsuki’s was beaten by his father. T*rso wanted Mutsuki and took him. Haise was genuinely loving, but even then Mutsuki’s experience is shrouded in jealousy. 

It’s not Mutsuki’s fault that he feels this way. It’s not his fault that he’s teetered into a mess of violence, self-deprecation, and self-harm. Unfortunately, it’s a very real reaction to the highly traumatic life he’s lead. He absorbs and refracts behaviors of his abusers because they’re the only models he’s had to go by– and right now they’re the only kind of person he understands. 

It’s not to say that Kaneki’s presence in his life didn’t leave a positive impact though (idolization aside), because he certainly seemed to be on a healthy way at the beginning of the series.That Mutsuki is still in there somewhere, waiting to come back, and now the only way I can see him finding a way out is for Mutsuki to be receptive to how much someone else genuinely loves him back. 

So, I honestly believe that this arc will close the way it began: be it romantic, platonic, or familial, people with find the mutual love they need.

Just a word|thoughts on verbal and emotional abuse

• Your abuser will never be able to take responsibility for anything they do i.e., YOU are the reason they are acting or speaking a certain way

• You will constantly find yourself apologizing even when every fiber of your being is telling you “I’ve done nothing wrong”

• In the rare circumstance they do you a favor, your abuser will continously make a point that you better “appreciate” what they’re doing for you. If it’s a big one, in the end, they’ll use it as a manipulation tactic.

• Even once you’ve gotten out of an abusive relationship and begin a healthy one, the thought process can stick with you and memories can haunt you. You will have a hard time believing there can be a truly good person in this world capable of loving you.

Why you should give a FUCK about YOU?

You should give a fuck to give a fuck about yourself. You can either take care of yourself or let yourself fall apart. You don’t have to immediately know how to take care of yourself, but you can take small steps to learn. Your physical and mental health matters.

 For a long time I did not care about myself. I wanted to be in a better place but did not know how to get there. It took time to establish healthy behaviors.  In the beginning of my journey, the small successes really helped. If  I met my goal of  successfully mediating or  completing yoga  for the day, I would be really proud of myself.

                           Please give a fuck about your well-being.

We did it.

Generation after generation of humanity sat by idly, too comfortable to be spurred to action. Too complacent to stop our disastrous path before our inevitable destruction.

Now, the earth’s atmosphere is damaged beyond repair, and humanity as a whole must adapt. Maps must be redrawn. Entire coastlines are washed away under the world-wide floods. New deserts are formed as the thinning atmosphere’s protection wanes. Global droughts decimate populations, and a few years later, when everything is dry, the fires begin in earnest. Some cities survive, but the number that do is smaller than anyone cares to admit. The shape of the world changes, and humanity with it.

Cities are build under the new deserts, using the winds as power and the sands as protection against the sun. We must now learn how to survive in the parts of the world we have made uninhabitable.

Some people flee to the sea. There’s so much more if it now, and out there, there is less overcrowding. Modern-day dreams of atlantis become realities faster than anyone could ever have known as desperation and ingenuity pull us away from moving shores. Humanity learns how to live in the flooded world they’ve made - they must.

Still others fight to fix what was broken. It is futile to hope for a full return to glory, but cities which burned after the Droughts are rebuilt with as much vegetation as can be made. Taller buildings are crafted to hold more people and more flora. Old building designs are shed like dead skin - a symbol of hope for a new world and the death of an era of failure.

Some turn towards the stars. Space colonization programs began to cooperate on large-scale projects during the first Droughts. Now, they are beginning to take off in every sense of the words. Short-term tests on the moon have proven to be successful, and now- armed with entire libraries of knowledge on ways to keep a planet healthy, the space programs begin to look beyond, to further planets and distant stars.

Designs are borrowed from those places which have always been most accustomed to the heat. Clothing changes to accommodate the rising temperatures. Linens, silks, and other, newer fabrics, synthesized to repel the constant heat are the foundations of a global fashion boom. Sun screening lotions are altered to be stronger and last longer. Paints and skin-coats are adapted to look beautiful in the parts of the world where it is too hot to live without anymore.

There are places in the world which become uninhabitable. Any plans for long-term habitation are ultimately unsustainable. These dead-zones become the perfect place for secrets to hide, though trips through them must be kept brief and well-planned if one wishes to survive.

Garbage becomes a commodity. Recycling materials that no longer exist in nature is a fairly new business, but it is thriving. Companies fight over rights to old dump sights and sharp entrepreneurs trawl the oceans for the trash humanity forgot long ago.

Solar windows are in - it is harder now to walk outside without suffering the consequences, but humanity has not forgotten their love of the light. Direct exposure is more dangerous than ever, but protected windows give humans the ability to walk in the sunlight without fear of their impending deaths.

We did it. We destroyed the planet we were given to live. Now, we must live amongst the proof of our forefather’s misdeeds.

And live we shall.

Arkos Pregnancy Au

here it is folks. What started out as a way of making me feel less depressed spiralled out into this beautiful au.

are you ready??? (also please keep in mind that I only did some research into pregnancy so if something is wildly inaccurate its because I’m lazy)

Keep reading

Surprise! 😊
Happy lesbian visibility day!!
And for my acceptance speech, Id like to thank to all the hot girls who made this possible😏👅❤
😂😂
But really, this was a super long time coming for me, but I’ve been extremely blessed with the majority of my friends being so supportive! I hope everyone gets the chance to find out who they are no matter how long that takes!😘

anonymous asked:

Do you think Malec's relationship is healthy? Like didn't Alec yell at and blame Magnus for his coming out in 2x01? And make him feel like he owed him? And there is a power imbalance with Magnus having more power and experience and being able to play Alec.

Yes, Anon, I do believe Malec’s relationship is indeed very healthy from the beginning. I mean they aren’t technically “together” yet but they care so much for each other? They have these honest conversations like adults? They actually act like adults? If this is not a huge difference from the stuff you normally watch on tv, I don’t know what is. Besides, we may have all waited for a whole year for this date to happen, but it also shows how much care the writers took of their relationship. They didn’t rush it one bit. Another sign that this relationship is good and healthy and will last.

I think you have to understand that Alec was in a very difficult position when he yelled at Magnus. And threw those accusations (f.e. “After everything I’ve done for you.) at him in 2x01. Jace was missing, his parabatai, his soul. He felt helpless. And Magnus, who only wanted to help, was the one person Alec blamed because he was just there in that moment. But, and here we are back at it again with Malec having such a healthy relationship: Alec understood that he was wrong. That his behavior towards Magnus was unacceptable. Which he actually noticed the moment all these hurtful words left his mouth. His face was full of regret. That’s why he came to apologize to Magnus. Where he also admitted towards Magnus that he was right, that Alec came out for himself at his wedding, and not for Magnus. He did kiss Magnus. It was his decision. Not Magnus’. Which makes the whole balcony scene so so great. A beautiful reconciliation scene. <3

Also, I don’t think there is some kind of “power imbalance”, Anon. I mean, sure, Magnus is this super powerful warlock, true. But the way he sometimes looks at Alec? So soft and gentle and caring. And then there is Alec, a true soldier at heart, a shadowhunter. Who repressed his feelings all his life. But suddenly there is somebody who shows an interest in him? And Alec Lightwood smiles and blushes so hard because of that? Can this be any more adorable? I think that’s why we all love Malec so much. Yes, they are both badass “warriors” but they can also be these soft men who literally melt around each other. And this has nothing to do with one maybe having more “power” or experience than the other might have. At the end of the day they are two people who care for each other and love each other so deeply. One is a warlock. One a shadowhunter. But that’s not important. Their love for each other is. And nothing else. What a power couple!

When your doctor says you’re finally healthy enough to start T, I just need to find a specialist.

But now I’m just like….what now

Hhhhhhh.

BTS when their s/o always eats dessert before dinner {REQUEST}

Boi if this ain’t me


KIM SEOKJIN/JIN:

Jin wouldn’t be too fond of this habit of yours. He’d probably hide all the dessert like foods until after dinner. If you had managed to find something/went out and bought something and Jin happened to catch you, he’d take it away and scold you.

“This isn’t healthy. You can have it back after dinner.”

Originally posted by syuba-inu

MIN YOONGI/SUGA:

Yoongi just didn’t understand how in the world you never managed to become sick of sweets, or just sick in general. He’d also be lowkey concerned for your health

Originally posted by jeonbase

KIM NAMJOON/RAP MONSTER:

Would give you a life lesson as to why it’s bad for you. He’d get really upset when you disobey him and continue to do it anyways.

*You’re Jimin*

Originally posted by ultranicolet

JUNG HOSEOK/J-HOPE:

Hobi would be alright with it. He knew you ate relatively healthy to begin with so he didn’t see the problem with it and would occasionally join you in your reversed dinner habits.

“You do you jagiya~”  

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

PARK JIMIN/JIMIN:

Would find it oddly endearing tbh. He’d long since given up on trying to stop the habit and would just let you do you. If people mentioned it, he’d just wave them off. 

Originally posted by ki-raa

KIM TAEHYUNG/V:

Would find it cute. Surprisingly, he’d be the one to only let you do your reversed dinner ministrations a couple times a week. Like, this boy wouldn’t give in even if you begged.

“You’re cute jagiya, but no. You had dessert first last night.”  

Originally posted by gotjimin

JEON JUNGGUK/JUNGKOOK:

Would probably be the only one to join you completely in your habit. Though, eventually he would get sick of it and his hyungs yelling at him for it. He’d find it cute and would probably bring back something  for you after practice or a day in the studio

Originally posted by dabbingjungkookie

-Bom

The instinctive subtypes as I understand them

My attempt to consolidate what I’ve read in a way that filters/presents actual data without forcing them to fit it inso hamfisted, tortured shemes or concepts & to synthesize something from at times not all that concordant sources & illustrate descriptively where the differences are; I’m not under the illusion that I don’t have a PoV, but I can try.

Basically ppl initially theorized that each of the instincts would produce similar suptypes, but while they have certain similarities (ie, sp/sx being invested in their interests, sx/soc startng personal conversations with everyone… my mom somehow extracted a particular cashier’s entire family history), the ‘state of the art’ is that each type can present quite differently when filtered through one’s instincts, which fasciatingly illustrate how the self awareness/willpower, complex cognition, raw emotions & your instinctually driven brainstem all sit on top of each other and sorta form a whole.

In some types the subtypes can be fairly similar, in others they can be extremely different, especially when they go bad…

sp 1 - Someone who wants to be right/good/super-ego compliant when it comes to their own affairs and their everyday life; Might have a perfectionistic approach to their own work & behavior or even living space (keep it neat & presentable etc.) and/or turn it inward in an anxious way to the point of obsessive tendencies.  Might be cordial or, if healthy, even warm to others, not so much showing the cold or hot zeal you’d find in the other subtypes.

soc 1 - Has a colder, teacher-like demeanor; Most intellectual 1 especially with a 9 wing.  This is the “nitpicky” one the stereotypes are loosely based on, basically a person who wants things to be done right in society, wether it is the country at large, their workplace or their friend group, and be measured & controlled in their interactions with others.

sx 1 - Wants to spread in a ‘dialogue’ setting; Most likely to openly display anger, the type of person to be outraged at all the injustice in the world. Unhealthy individual might be a moral watchdog/ white knight/Nosy Neighbor projecting their own rejected impulses onto others or perpetate institutional/religious abuse, often having a “why not” approach to hypocritically fulfilling their desires on the side in the process of decrying others out of a twisted envy for their (”I repress my desires so everyone else should, too, even though it’s my cjoice to begin with”); Healthy individual would fight for actual good causes and be an uncorruptible whistleblower making sure society stays fair.

sp 2 - Quite different from the stereotype, this subtype hopes to make themselves loveable with a childlike, innocent/endearing demeanor. Might expect to be taken care of & act spoiled & entled; Sort of project more ‘static’ good attributes to attract the love & care of others & might feel they have to keep their attention/entertain them somehow to not be overlooked.   Healthier individuals will be sweet, charming & caring and provide for their loved ones with material/well-being related favors.

soc 2 - The “Charity Worker” or “Mom friend” sort of person. While the previous subtype acts overly childlike, this one is overly adult & wants to be in the role of the caretaker while perhaps overlooking their own needs/ fill an important/helpful/indespensable role for a larger whole of people, perhaps an organization - for that reason this subtype can actually be ambitious & leaderlike to get an important position (and/or help a lot of people).  Can get meddlesome,  histrionic, dramatic (”You all don’t appreciate my efforts!”) and/or develop psychosomatic problems when unhealthy.

sx 2 - The closest to the stereotypical version; The sort of person who always needs to have someone to focus on/  (best friend, boy/girlfriend, children…) really can’t stand being alone. Unhealthy individuals might end up on the manipulative or codependent side, more functional ones will be giving & generous toward their loved ones.

sp 3 - The “Businessperson” Markedly different in that while they might still be braggarts, they’re not overtly flashy and might even disdain flashyness & rather play up their no-frills, pragmatic qualities; Projects an image of ‘being able to care for themselves completely’ & not needing anyone (”I didn’t take no free handouts from no one”) which might manifest as being very sucessful, ambitious & industrious, and, in the best case, inspirational, adaptive & preseverant with a “can do” attitude; Most focus on self-improvement.

soc 3 - Now here’s where the flashy is at; This is the commonly known version. Might be interested in fame & popularity or at least adoration in their circle, comes with a lot of “aura” around them, less enlightened individuals might tend toward the fake, shallow & grandiose, but in the more self-aware ones we find confident public self-love & ppl wo are very good at making an impact on others & making their dreams come true.

sx 3 - Also fairly different but accounts for a lot of em, for example, I was surprised to learn that 3 is the 2nd most common type among ESFJs, and sure there might be some enterpreneurial or flashy ones but they’re not what we most commonly think about… but that was before I got this info. This subtype will present as attractive according to the values present around them, maybe the gender norms,  they’ll try to have the perfect friends & family & partner, perfect house etc the stuff the magazines recomend to be liked & admired but more admiration by the ppl immediately around you than society at large; Might still make a good actress or star tho but in a different way.  Though all 3s are usually on the more extroverted side or at least very good at social maneuvering, it’s the least pronounced in this subtype and some can even be a little shy, maybe worrying if they measure up to what they feel society expects from them; As with all 3s getting an understanding about which wants & goals are truly theirs, being transparent about those and knowing that they’re valuable just for being people probably helps.

sp 4 - These are complex, apparently. I’m not sure f it depends on the wing, the exact stacking or simply how life has treated them, but these tend to fall into two categories; Their similarity is that they tend to deal with their feelings/uffering more by themselves, and might be kinda torn between wanting to take care of their shit by themselves but also lowkey wishing someone would notice, which they might deny or be embarassed about; Also they might use physical possesions/decorations as a means of self-espression but be detached of non-symbolic possesions.

Some of them might present as relatively sunny & quirky, with an undercurrent of melancholy there, the sort to try to keep up a smile and lament about the mishaps in their daily lives and self-console themselves with some chocolate or scented baths or other material things.

The others will do the “enduring it by themselves” more through projecting toughness (and might be easily mistaken for 6s or 8s.) sort of like this type of anime character who’s a tough, cold adult woman that is all embittered because of some sad backstory; In the extreme of that you get a risk-taking, vagabond–like person.

For whatever it’s worth, as a sp-first person with a w4 and secondary 4 fix, I’d say I have traits of both; It depends on which mood you catch me in.

soc 4 - Probably the ones that could be said to most overtly display shame; They’re also fairly different depending on their functionality level, less functonal ones will often compare themselves t others & find themselves lacking/ have low self-esteem and might (ironically) be the most socially anxious and/or avoidant and reclusive.

In the medium range some of them can be involved with subcultures (goth, hispter, punk, what-have-you) as a way to reconcile the opposing impulses of seeing themselves as disparate from the larger society but still wanting to belong to a group.

At their best they often become savy critics of society & will try to help keep society staying true to authentic ideals or make it better.

sx 4 - The 4 classic. Better characterized as a refusal to feel shame for who they are and perhaps a kind of resentment over their lot in life; Attitude of having been personally wronged. Dramatic & possibly competitive (especially with 3 wing), might be very critical of themselves and others & lament the unfairness of their situation, in extreme cases to to the point of vindictiveness, errecting an arrogant superior veneer or misanthropy (”I hate (normal) people.”)/ feel that others have it easier/get more attention than they deserve & be resentful over that;

Might be tempestous, intense & feel personally wronged, be moody or sullen & just generally have a lot of feelings.

As their best they’ll be uncompromisingsy idealistic & integrous and will turn their high standards toward being their best possible selves & doing the best possible work, generally very creative folks and care a lot about making sure everyone’s treated with respect & fairness despite their differences/ might want to help others also become their best possible selves & generally stand up

In searching partnerships they might run into the problem that they have very high standards and might not find someone who meets them or become disillusioned when their partners don’t live up to their ideals; Also I’ve read somewhere that they have the minor quirk of often staying friends with their exes.

It is to be noted that these usually start out as those super sweet  sensisitive, imaginaive children before middle school/[any random stressor]  happens to them and that a lucky few mantain/regain this in adulthood, but there’s always going to be a fierce, immediate quality to their individualism.

sp 5 - The ‘Hobbyist’ mostly spends all day with their own pursuit of their current obsessions; Introvert among introverts, autonomy & having their own space is very important (many chose to live alone or at least like to have their own area in the house, where they might keep personally significant or potentially useful stuff; Might be minimalistic. Or just quirky. Tends to really like the idea of “secret hiding places” & construct/stock a ‘lair’ that they won’t have to leave more often than necessary so they can follow their pursuits.  )

soc 5 - The most intellectual/detached & most uninterested in ‘everyday life’; often tries to fill the role of an ‘expert’ in society/a group & see that as somthing they have to ‘bring to the table/contrbute’; Often interested in symbolism or understanding how society works, the meanings behind great patterns, might have a tedency to admire people they agree with or find accomplished & be drawn toward groups of other ‘experts’. The most detached from small-scale everyday life. Less pleasant examples might be stuck-up & elist.

sx 5 - Least outright ‘academic’ and kinda more dreamy with more of a ‘natural’ curiosity a rich inner life & artsy inclinations, might dream of best friends and/or lovers but not be as good at realizing it IRL because of their withdrawn nature.

Could be mistaken for a non-sx-4 or  sx 9 but distinguished by the sharing of thoughts & information as  a point of appeal; Want to share thir own secret world with the person & have their thoughts be understood.

While individuals without sx in their stacking/in the last spot might want a partner who’s not too demanding & uncomplicated to live with, (if they’re interested in finding one at all), folks with a more pronounced sx insticts will look for friends &/or partners they can have an intellectual exchange with. (Or at least phantasize about finding them)

sp 6 - The “warm/cute” variant of 6. Looks endearing, kind & harmless so others will trust them, wants to be part of gropus in their local surroundings - family, community etc so less system-oriented, or rather working for the system in their immediate surroundings. Tedentially the most phobic/ compliant variant; Under extreme stress, turns into anxious nervous wreck.

soc 6 - Most intellectual, outright ‘mental’ and system-oriented variant, will seek to understand the rules that govern society, most sceptical, keeps authority in check, can be a sort of beaurocratic legaliatic person or a dutyfull whistlblower. Examples which go bad can become conspiracy theorists or outright paranoid.

sx 6 - The ‘warrior’/’punk’/’rebel’, most counterphobic & reactionary of the subtypes, most rebellious, sort of sublimates energy, the interpersonal “testing” behavior is probably most overt here. The sx drive toward making a direct impact on the people you regularly interact with comes out as wanting to have a tough, intimidating effect of people, to have them respect (and therefore not coss/harm/betray) you. Can be mistaken for 8 but while these are more ‘lone fighters’ or ‘ringleades’, & just want others not to cross them, the 6 will react more to perceived infractions into their ‘territory’ and rely on strenght in numbers where the 8 is adversrial & independent.

Can be real badass & stand up against unjust authorities/ actually get trusted & respected, but also become complete fanatists at worst.  

sp 7 - The ‘Hedonistic ‘Pragmatist’: Focussed toward getting their physical needs met and seeks physical/material pleasure. While some name the soc 7 as the ‘countertype’ I personally think the sp 7 is one that has the marked difference to the others: While other 7s will be idealistic and can be naive, this one is instead pragmatic, materialistic,  realistic & wordly quite unlike the ‘scattered, unfocussed, pixie dream girl’ 7 stereotype.

Can be a good business person, extroverted yet discernin nature helps to form  & secure & formaliances, and be pretty assertive and enterpreneurial, even agressive.

Less functional examples are at real risk for addictions (with or without substances involved) & can be pretty selfish & ruthless as they see much of the world as commodities to cosume and might lose sight of everything but ensuring their own material comfort.

soc 7 - Wants to make “the most of their time” in the sense of interacting with/ contributing to larger society and ‘doing worthwhile things’; Your classic ‘benevolent adventurer’, might travel the world with their friends and/or become a activist/ work toward noble causes, have a self-sacrificing bent. Probably the subtype where the ‘overplanning’ problem can be most apparent.

Maybe because the soc instinct’s drive to focus on the group and the fear to lose your own hapiness are more likely to conflict, this is the subtype where the inner anxiety can be the most prominent/ closest to the surface, especially with a 6 wing. Because of all this, can be mistaken for social 2, but ephasis, motivations & reactions will be subtly different as they’re not so much about earning the direct grattitude of others .

sx 7 - Seeks mainly intense experiences & connections to others and as such can be adventurous & very novelty-seeking. Often has a certain  ‘manic creativity’ to them, probably embodies the ‘positive’/’optimistic’ aspect of the 7 the most. Can be very dreamy, idealistic & energetic. Partnership wise, they might be very romantic & look for the one ideal person. 

Also adventurous, can have a tendency to be impressed by/aprreciate/ be excited about all the new cool things they encounter/people they meet.

One common downside is that these individuals can be a bit on the naive/ suggestible side, at least in their youth, and might end up inadvertedly sabotaging their relationships with their tendentially scattered nature. 

On the lower health levels, there can be actual manic tendencies, and increasing inability to control one’s emotions

Can occasionally be mistaken for a 4, especially with 4 fix.

sp 8 - The ‘tough lone fighter’ sort of 8; A bit like a sp 3, they’re going to want to show that they can take care of themselves and some might express this though securing material wealth, though the independence will be more pronounced, wating others to get off their case & respect their boundaries more than to make an impression on them like the 3 or ‘be the boss’ like the other subtypes (though they might still fill the boss role to get shit done/ not tolerate disrespect/just by virtue of acting dominant)

These are typically very self-governed ppl who don’t listen to or rely much on others and follow their own judgement, sometimes to the point of an ubermensch mentality. (not necessarily a bad thing depending on what their values happen to be, they could fall anywhere between honest, fortright & & following their own justice without yielding to outside pressure/hypocricy, or self-servingly amoral) One particular quirk/traits is that they will often act idependently/ “just go and do something” without referring to other authorities especially if it’s something related to getting what they need; In some cases this can lead to ruthlessness. 

soc 8 - The ‘ringleader/gangboss’ sort of 8, where the adversarial, jungle-survival-y attitude of the 8 gets projected onto their peer group & the strenght/ filling of the ‘strong’ role is lived in part through taking others under their wing. 

The worst example would be that one archetypical short guy leadin a band of bullies, flanked by two taller musclier cp6s. Or they could be muscly themselves, it’s the ‘ganboss/armed-with-a-posse’ part that’s the point. Exertion of power/intimidation through having a group as your asset. Other pitfalls can be black & white thinking where the ‘them’ group is seen as practically a caricature, ie basically mob mentality. (Donald Trump anyone?)

The best of them is pretty much the exact opposite, someone who protects & forms a band for the downtrodden. more the sort of person who’d kick a bully’s ass and offer the bully-ee to check out their friend group & empower them to be more confident; Of course part of that involves allowing themselves to feel tenderness for their friends (and indirectly, for themselves) & feel for their troubles. 

sx 8 - More geared toward projecting strenght & self-ruled-ness in terms of direct interpersonal impact, this is going to be a person with an impressive commanding and/or tough aura; Often someone you have to respect even i you don’t agree with them, a ‘charismatic/magnetic leader’ (more sx/soc) or intense rebel (more sx/sp) sort of person. 

Unhealthy individuals can have a volatile temper and be possesive, controling partners, though those are ppl shooting themselves in the foot due to their inability to fully trust others; Actually they’re the most at home in a ‘Lady & Knight’ sort of dynamic and a well-developed individual will be very comitted & devoted to their partner. 

While 8s with less pronounced sx instincts might look for a ‘worthy opponent’ type partner who is also impressive & idependent, this subtype especially is all about trust & look for someone who will be completely loyal & trusts their decisions & might even have self-awareness to recognize that that is because that makes them feel safe themselves. 

They take betrayal really badly (though most 8s do); At the very best they’ll wash their hands of you. Doesn’t help that many 8s are types with absent/polR or inferior Fi. This is not a place where you wanna poke them. 

sp 9 - An earthy creature of habit sort of person, whose means of ‘tuning out’ in times of stress will tend to be everyday/material comforts like food, watching TV etc.  Grounded, calm and patient. Though 9s generally tend to be your typical phlegmatic temperament/‘people-oriented introverts’, this subtype is the most likely to require frequent alone time. Has their own way of doing things and will put up resistance when asked to change their habits.

Tends to be humble & content with their peaceful everyday life but can be inflexible. 

soc 9 - This one can be a bit harder to identify because they might not look all that ‘passive’ at first, in fact, they can be quite hard-working, maybe a combined effect of the 9s identification with/reliance on he larger complete system/environment, and the soc instinct’s ability to really comprehend/grasp that ‘evironment’ and its constituents as more than a vague mass, thus the tendency to want to actively contribute to its continued existence & stability, but unlike, say, a 1 or 3 they will do this in a very self-effacing manner; 

In the worst case there’s where you find the ‘deadened office drone’ variety of disfunctional nine.

sx 9 - The most ‘dreamy’ nine where the ‘epic inner fantasy’ life is the most pronounced; ‘Idealized Identification with the environment’ will be more bound to particular people though the person themselves might not even be aware how much their idea of themselves & their lives is anchored in those people. he main point of synergy between the instinct and the type is a desire for unification so it’s not usual to find these ppl as nature-lovers, spiritual types, or just, looking for a deeper/ideal form of ‘peace’. 

Though with a ostly internal coping mechanism less functional examples can look apathetic & escapistic.

(Corrections always appreciated)

How to Treat Fin Rot

No pet owner ever wants to have a sick pet…

In the fall of 2012, my roommate and I had a sick betta fish on our hands. We had went away for a vacation and returned to find our boy, Ianto, in a rough state. Although it was scary, we managed to bring our boy back to his usual self with patience and care.

Unfortunately, it can often be difficult to find good information about how to treat sick bettas, so I’m making it my mission to do what I can to help make it easier for other betta owners to diagnose and treat their fish. 

Because we were able to successfully treat our sick betta, here is handy information about fin rot and what you can do to hopefully make your pet healthy again as well:

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What I wish I'd known in my early 20s

Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. What a waste. STOP NOW. Don’t do it! DON’T DO IT! It’s easy to get tangled up in other peoples’ accomplishments, statuses or projected image. You’re perfect the way you are and you don’t shine or crumble because of someone else. That’s up to you. If you’re so preoccupied checking on everyone else, you’re gonna get mixed up in learning how to value and appreciate yourself. You deserve to absolutely love yourself!

Spend less time trying to make everyone happy. I’ve always wanted people to like me. And I’ve always found it generally easy to get along with people, but I spent way too many years living for other people. You can’t make everyone happy. And you don’t need to. And not everyone needs to like you and you don’t need to like everyone. Be selective with your close friends. Make sure you surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and who you admire and respect. Life is too short trying to win everyone over. Be yourself!

Don’t force relationships that aren’t working. In my 20s I watched a lot of my friends stay in relationships they weren’t happy in. Now is a great time to reach out, stretch, have fun, get to know yourself and establish what it is you are looking for in your intimate relationships. Yes, relationships are hard work. But if you aren’t happy, get out. Leave and don’t look back or backtrack. Don’t be nasty, apathetic or cruel— be honest, brave and empowered. You’re really holding yourself back by being with someone you just don’t feel good with.

Learn to burn bridges. Your twenties are an excellent time to burn bridges; they’re also the hardest time to do so. A lot of friendships probably began in high school or maybe even before. Sometimes friendships can withstand a decade’s worth of change. But if you find yourself in relationships with people you don’t respect, or who don’t respect you, people you can’t identify with anymore, or worse, people who just aren’t good friends, burn the bridge. It’s tough stuff, and there is no way around the discomfort and sadness. But cleaning shop is good for your heart and your mind. It gives you’re the space and emotional freedom to begin new, healthy relationships.

Don’t obsess too much over career/school. Cool it, sister. I know it’s a scary world out there. And I know you want to be the best and do the best and feel the best. But sometimes you just gotta take a break, breathe real deep and ease up on yourself. You don’t need to be a CEO by age 28. And you don’t need to be married by 25. And you don’t need to be anything other than what you want to be, whether you’re 23 or 55. You’re the boss, don’t be too hard on yourself.

You’re in a rush to grow up. Don’t be. Don’t do it. I remember longing for a career. I wanted the feeling of worth that I imagined my career folk friends must have felt. I wanted to own a house. To drive a car that actually worked in reverse. To know where I put my phone charger. It’s true that once you establish yourself and feel a little more comfortable, you are happy and proud of the work you’ve done, but don’t rush. Be 20-something. Make mistakes. Stay up too late. Climb a tree. Be young. Lose your phone charger. You have the rest of your life to be a stress case, don’t rush into it in your 20s.

I use tarot as a healing practice. As a way to connect to my guides and to something bigger than myself. I use tarot as a way to connect to you all and to remember that we all share the same soul and universe. Tarot has been a way for me to cope in a healthy way and to begin again, and I think that is the biggest and best gift I have ever received in my life. 

Kuzu no Honkai Episode 12

I only watched episodes 1-4 of the anime and then skipped until the last episode because I had already read chapters 1-46 of the manga. Kuzu no Honkai was really something else. I felt like shit in most of the chapters I read, but I kept reading them lol

*MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK*

I really, really wanted Mugi x Hanabi to be canon. In a way, I guess that was my Scum’s Wish, for them to end up together even if their relationship wasn’t even healthy to begin with. T_T I feel so heartbroken, but at the same time satisfied on how it ended. 

Sometimes people just jump from relationship to another just so that they don’t feel the loneliness. Sometimes you truly need to be by yourself to understand what you really want.(like Hanabi said: She is able to think clearly when she is alone) I do feel that Hanabi did have feelings for Mugi, but they couldn’t be together because they needed time to truly mature and that was perfectly okay. I guess in a way this was a little bit more realistic compared to them ending up together and having the usual “happy ending” *cries because I still wanted them together*

Hanabi was able to change and move forward. I remember in the beginning she was disgusted when someone confessed to her, but this time she was able to reject the person that confessed to her properly. (I’m not going to lie, I thought she was going to accept the guy’s confession and start a healthy relationship, and I was okay with that…sorry Mugi lol)

Overall, despite of the ups and downs mostly downs lol I had with Kuzu no Honkai, I truly enjoyed it. I remember that I immediately dropped it when it first came out because I couldn’t understand and stand the idea of having a “replacement” for someone you loved, but then life happened and I came back and was able to truly enjoy this story.