healthier pizza

Snog Me Senseless 2

A/N:  Snog Me Senseless was supposed to be a one shot, but then I got more requests for a part 2.  So I combined SMS part 2 with this request.  I can picture parts 3 and 4 already, but only if people really want them.  Let me know what you think please!  I’m not going to mark this as NSFW, but it is sweetly smutty in its own way.  

As always, a HUGE thank you to my betas, @little-black-dress-24,  @niallandharrymakemestrong and @emulateharry.  I consider myself blessed every day to have landed in this supportive community of writers. Next time for sure, @melissas173!!!

You sigh as Harry’s lips gently part yours, and your hands reach to wrap around his neck, pulling his mouth closer to yours as you slide your tongue along his. He’s wrapped his left arm around your waist, and he’s leaning into you, using his slight height advantage to bend your head back as he deepens the kiss. Your emotions are swirling.  

It had only been a week since the frat party where you first learned to snog, and you had been practicing every day since with Harry.  Whereas his tongue had felt foreign inside your mouth the first time, you now relished the times when he kissed you like this, breathing through your respective noses to prolong the amount of time you could stay attached to each other.  It was nearly lunchtime, and Harry’s stomach was growling.  You hear the rumble and giggle a bit as you manage to move the gum he’s been chewing into your mouth as you end the kiss.  

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anonymous asked:

Who in the RFA is pro-pineapple on pizza and who is anti-pineapple on pizza? What about you guys??

Haha this is so funny!


Zen- He thinks it somehow makes pizza healthier. Fruit on pizza, right?
Jaehee- it’s not her fave but she doesn’t mind the taste
Saeyoung- He loves sweet and salty combinations, so yes.


Yoosung- He doesn’t like the taste at all, and he thinks it smells weird.
Jumin- He doesn’t like the taste either. He’s not a fan of pizza in general
Saeran- He actually secretly likes it, but he says he doesn’t because Saeyoung likes it.

Us? One of us loves it and the other is allergic to pineapple. :)

Hetalia Body-Type Headcanons

Hetalia Body-Type Headcanons

So I saw a post like this, and I thought “why not?” So here’re my Hetalia body-type headcanons!

Italy : Italy is mostly slim, with a bit of chub around the waist from all the pasta and pizza. Little body hair. 5'7"

Germany : Germany is the buff bara-type, broad shoulders, big chest, the works. Kind of a smaller butt tho. Light body hair. 5'11"

Japan : Japan is short, but lean. Lots of compact muscle, like a martial artist. Little body hair. 5'5"

Romano : Romano is like his little brother, but sliiiiightly more muscular. Probably because tomatoes are healthier than pasta and pizza. Little body hair. 5'6.5"

Prussia : Prussia is like a shorter, slimmer Germany. He’s got beautiful legs. Shaves his body hair. 5'6"

America : America is definitely an endomorph. Pretty buff, but also a bit chubby on the chest, waist, and hips. All that McDonald’s is hard to burn off. Moderate body hair. 6'0"

Canada : Canada is pretty average, barely any muscle mass, and his waist is kind of chubby too. Supple legs, though. Moderate body hair. 6'0"

England : England is slim as hell. Like, almost skinny, but still kinda muscular from his pirating days. Shaves his body hair. 5'7"

France : France is built like a model. Muscular, but not huge. Hairy af. 5'10"

Russia : Russia is sorta like America. But with more fat, and taller. He’s got a big chest and butt. Basically a big teddy bear. Pretty hairy. 6'4"

China : China is like Japan, but shorter. 5'4"

Austria : Austria’s kinda chubby around the waist, but he’s got nice legs. Shaves his body hair. 5'8"

Hungary : Hungary’s got an hourglass figure, but an athletic one. She’s got nice abs. About a C cup. 5'7"

Switzerland : Swiss has got a pretty lean build, muscular, but you wouldn’t know it just by looking at him with clothes on. 5'7"

Liechtenstein : Liech is very smoll. She’s like a fragile doll. About a AA cup. 4'11"

Spain : This man is a supermodel like holy crap. Killer abs, nice, broad chest and shoulders. And of course, an ass so big and round, you’d mistake it for a dwarf planet or something. Shaves his body hair. 5'10"

Belarus : Belarus is pretty slim. Small bust, thin waist, narrow hips. About an A cup. 5'3"

Ukraine : Ukraine’s basically canon with this one. Top-heavy, but probably a bit of a chubbier waist. About a DD cup. 5'5"

Lithuania : Lithuania is pretty lean. Smooth stomach, taut butt. Little body hair. 5'9"

Poland : Poland has a pretty androgynous build. He’s got a small chest typical of a male, a moderate waist, and feminine hips. Also pretty long eyelashes. 5'6"

Estonia : Estonia’s got the typical “hot nerd” build. Meaning, he clearly doesn’t do any sports or exercise, yet he still retains a nice, healthy figure. The nerd doesn’t even need to shave his body hair, he barely has any. 5'7"

Latvia : Latvia is really short of course, but I imagine about 4'9" as opposed to 4'7". Tiny figure, with a small, round booty. Typical shota build. Almost no body hair.

Denmark : Denmark is a buff bara, just like Germany, except he’s got more scars all across his body. He’s got moderate body hair. 5'11"

Sweden : Sweden is super tall and pretty buff, but seems a bit lankier because he’s so tall. Moderate body hair. 6'2"

Norway : Norway is the type that seems skinny under his clothes, but then he takes them off and he’s got these killer abs. He’s got a nice chest and butt. Shaves his body hair. 5'8"

Finland : Finland is very cute and very round. He’s got a soft chest, and big, soft, round stomach, and a soft, round butt. Soft curved all around. Moderate body hair. 5'6"

Iceland : Iceland is a total twink. Small chest, thin waist, small butt. Def a bottom. Little body hair. 5'6"

Netherlands : Ned is really tall, and is pretty muscular, but you couldn’t tell from how he hides it under all that heavy clothing. Moderate body hair. 6'1"

Luxembourg : Lux is built like his brother, but shorter and slimmer. It’s easier to tell he’s muscular though because of those fancy suits he’s always wearing that fit right against his figure. Moderate body hair. 5'10"

Belgium : Belgium’s got a short, chubby kind of figure. Ample chest, soft waist, round hips. About a D cup. 5'2"

Bulgaria : Bulgaria is pretty physically fit, nice abs, broad shoulders. Moderate body hair. 5'10"

Romania : Romania is even thinner than England, with barely any muscle mass at all. Not a twink-like as Iceland though. Little body hair. 5'7"

Moldova : Much like Latvia, Moldova has the typical shota build, but he’s a bit taller. No body hair. 4'10"

Egypt : Egypt is model-like. Far from Spain, but definitely nice. Killer abs, warm, manly chest, nice butt, etc. Little body hair. 5'9"

Cyprus : Cyprus is a bit like Egypt, if not more muscular. He’s also taller than Egypt. Little body hair. 5'10"

Greece : Greece is built like a Greek god. Imagine one of those marble statues with the chiseled abs and killer V-line and broad chest. That’s Greece. Little body hair. 5'11"

Turkey : Turkey is even bigger than Greece, tanner, more muscular, but also has a bit more body fat. Probably hairier than France too. 6'0"

Cuba : Cuba’s got a sort of chubby build. Large, round stomach, soft chest, big butt. Also pretty hairy. 5'8"

Seychelles : Seychelles has a lean, swimmer’s build, probably curvier than Belarus though. About a B cup. 5'3"

Hong Kong : Hong Kong is basically the Iceland of the East Asian countries. He’s got a really thin build, but is actually super athletic. Little body hair. 5'7"

Taiwan : Taiwan looks like she could easily be a dancer. She’s got a slim but athletic build. About a B cup. 5'0"

Vietnam : Vietnam is pretty lean, and has clearly been in a few tough fights that she’s come out on top of. She could probably square up against MMA fighters. About an A cup. 5'6"

Thailand : Thailand has got a pretty hot bod, and he clearly exercises. He’s got the build of a runner, like he does track and field. But it’s actually from dancing so much. Moderate body hair. 5'9"

South Korea : Imagine the typical K-Pop boy band idol. That’s South Korea. He’s got little body hair. He’s about 5'11"

Australia : Australia is super buff. Like, imagine Makoto from Free! So not as buff as say America or Germany or Denmark, but he’s up there. He actually shaves his body hair. 6'0"

New Zealand : New Zealand is pretty slim, but he’s clearly worked out before, so he’s not as slim as England. Probably closer to Switzerland really. Little body hair. 5'8"

Monaco : Monaco has a fairly hourglass figure, sort of like a girl you’d see in a casino in one of those cocktail dresses. About a C cup. She’s actually pretty short though, only about 4'11", but she wears heels often to look taller.

Sealand: Sealand is a tiny shota boy, like super thin and stuff. No body hair (too young). About 4'5"

Wy : Wy is a small girl, really short with a thin build. Probably too young and/or underdeveloped for a bra. About 4'7"

Seborga : Seborga’s built a lot like Italy and Romano, probably somewhere in between the two of them. He’s shorter though. Little body hair. 5'6"

Ladonia : Much like Sealand, Ladonia’s a small shota. He’s taller than him though. No body body hair. About 4'8"

Molossia : Ever since I heard a certain audio post (I can’t find it unfortunately), I’ve imagined Molossia to be a lot like Markiplier. That includes voice and build. Moderate body hair. 5'10"

Kugelmugel : I imagine Kugelmugel to be the smallest of the Micronations. He’s very smoll, only 4'3". No body hair of course.

Czech Republic : Czech has a petite body, sorta like Belarus, but with rounder hips. About an A cup. 5'1"

Slovakia : Slovakia is actually pretty muscular. Not huge by any means, but imagine, like, Haruka from Free!, and that’s what he’s like. Moderate body hair. 5'9"

@malloryrunsthis wrote:

I don’t think ANYONE is is perfect 100% of the time. Don’t beat yourself up for the pizza too hard. As long as it doesn’t become a habit again, I think you’re okay. Maybe think of the things that trigger you somehow: okay, you were tired so you ordered a pizza instead of making food. How about buying some healthier frozen pizzas to have on hand when you feel that way again?  

Hi Mallory!  Thanks for the reply.

Yeah there are times I will plan in a little treat meal now and then because you are right its not even wise to not give yourself a little treat now and then.  Yesterday’s pizza however was not planned.  It was just me caving into a craving.  So that is why I am being a little harder on myself because of it.

And it’s funny because I have tried in the past to keep a frozen pizza on hand here - but I find if it is in my house that is all my mind thinks about.  So I end up eating it right away instead of “use only in case of emergencies” type situation.  So I do not keep anything I know I have very hard times resisting here in my house to avoid such potentially bad situations all the time.

And all of this is why I have found grocery shopping early in the morning after a workout is best for me.  As my will power is high and I do not feel as tempted by the million times I have to tell myself NO when passing by all the things I would rather have at the store than my cart of healthy items.  If I go later in the day when my resistance is wearing down - I then end up scarfing down a bag of chex mix in the car on my way home like some kind of junky getting a fix - it happened once and it was not pretty!  LOL

I’VE BEEN TAGGED…. thank u @ghoul-thirst !! 💕

Tell me about a tattoo you have (or want)! - ooOOOh ok so when I was younger, me and my great-aunt would always play loteria and i really love the artwork on the original cards so.. I kind of really want the luna card on my upper forearm!! I also want SOMETHING to do with So Far So Noir bc that album changed my life and had me shook.

Got any pet peeves? - SNORING…. i CANNOT handle people snoring oh my GOD it’s the worst ever

Fancy restaurant or pizza delivery? - …… dpepdns…. I’m trying to eat healthier so pizza is like a once a month thing rn lolol

Papa climbs clumsily through the window of the room you’re in right now– what do you do? - ;))

What’s the most recent thing you’ve drawn (or written if you don’t draw)? - this is so embarrassing but … tobias.. >__>

What’d be the best career for you? - well, right now my plan is to major in art history and become a curator of education so!

What’s your astrology sign, and to what degree do you believe you represent the sign stereotype? -  pisces bb ;0 i think I’m definitely a little more…. out there than the stereotype suggests .. lol . but i am pretty dreamy i guess!

What’s something you’d love to see in a Ghost fanfiction?
-  MORE👏NB👏SELF👏INSERTS👏 also new fire/water would be so good.. MORE GAY SHIT IN GENERAL, TBH

What’s something you’ve done in 2017 that you’re proud of? - i CUT ALL MY HAIR OFF…

Who’s your fave ghoul? - OLD TINY EARTH IS THE PRINCE OF MY HEART……. fave current ghoul is water :3c

Write a ten-word phrase that encapsulates something about your life right now: hell yea bitch dis go hard as hell flocka i will suck big dick team slut all day and week month year and century i love big naps D I C K S Q U A D
(not ten words but whatever lol)

11 questions are….

What do you think you’re greatest skill is?

Craziest thing you’ve ever done in your life?

If you could spend one whole day with any member of Ghost (past or present), who would it be and what would you do?

Dream pet? What would you name them?

Speaking of ghosts, do you have them?

If someone had to really understand you, what song(s) would they need to listen to?

Any recurring dreams?

Favorite historical period?

If you were on death row, what would your last meal be? Be as specific as possible!!

What’s something you’ve been obsessed with the longest?

You in the shower drinking a pork chop and Your girl just left to go buy some quarters and you see her cousin like this in the kitchen about to boil some tacos she’s 19 finna be 22 3 days ago, what’s the temperature?

I tag: @tothepit, @papas-gay-ghoul, @evokingourmaster, @paterdiabolus, @haunterrr, and @bearfeat42 !!

Chapter 12: Something Wrong

Fic Summary: “Everyone had a link with their soulmates, some could hear some of their partners thoughts, some had a tattoo that would appear with their partners name; for me, I knew when they got sick.” For a while Phil has thought that his soulmate might have an eating disorder and doesn’t expect to meet him in the restaurant where he works.

Genre: a lot of fluff, recovery, really fucking domestic, waiter!Phil

Warnings: eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, hospitals, panic attacks, references to past abuse, mentions of suicide, a lot of awkwardness, smut in this chapter. This is potentially triggering so for your own sake, please think twice about reading if anything this might affect you.

Disclaimer: I don’t have personal experience with eating disorders, but have done some research. If I have anything about them wrong, feel free to send me an ask and I’ll sort it out.

Word Count (for this part): 4.2k

[Uploads will be approximately every couple of weeks! (hopefully)]

A/N: Phanfic awards are open for nominations at the moment, so if you think any of my fics are good enough, feel free to nominate it. I’ve never been involved in them before so idk exactly how it works.


<= Previous Chapter

Filming a video had once been a process that I’d gotten down to a fine art, but today seemed to be an exception to that. Even my breakfast had turned out a disaster. I’d poured the end of the milk into my cereal, just tidying up that extra little bit. When I came to make myself a coffee, I realised that I had in fact finished all of the milk. I had to make my trip to Tesco without a coffee in me.

As Dan was helping me with the video, I dragged him along to Tesco with me. We bought quite a lot of food, seeing as we’d been away for a couple of days. The trolley got filled with pizza ingredients, some milk, a little fruit, some yoghurts and a ton of other things. Dan seemed to be a bit self conscious about all of the food in our trolley, so I decided to keep away from the chocolate aisle for today. I could pop back in on my own in the next day or two to grab myself some snacks.

On the way home I decided to get my coffee the easy way and nip into starbucks. It was too early for any of their fancy sugary wintery specials, but a nice creamy latte seemed perfect. I was still drinking my coffee when we arrived back in our flat, but had finished it by the time we had all the shopping away; well apart from the pizza ingredients - we were going to use those.

I set up the camera on the piece of tape I had on the floor to mark the perfect filming position. I double-checked that we had all of the ingredients ready, and it was almost time to turn the camera on.

“You sure about this?” I asked Dan, sidling up next to him, “You really want to share all of this with a few thousand people?”

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Making smoked ham, spinach and red onion tortilla pizza with homemade marinara sauce, light swiss cheese and fresh tomato slices

I have never in my life thought twice about Rachael Ray, but in the past hour reading this Food Network book I’ve learned:

She always wanted to live in NYC proper (her family was from Lake George) because she thought ‘something magical would happen to her there.’ 

She wound up living in Queens, and got mugged when her boss dropped her off at home after midnight but managed to pepper spray the guy and he ran away.

A few days later, she was sitting in an awkward position and her foot fell asleep, and when she got up to answer the phone, her ankle snapped.

While on crutches and trying to hobble inside her apartment building, that same mugger came back and this time wanted revenge so he nearly beat her to death with a gun. (She was saved by a dog, MY HEART.)

When she finally admitted to her mom that she just needed to come home, she was driving to work and got into an accident that flipped her car upside down.

Eventually she started working in a little deli type place and brainstormed the idea for 30 minute meals while trying to beat Domino’s promise of ‘delivery in 30 minutes or less.’ Why not make your own meal (healthier than pizza) in 30 minutes or less?

She started doing demonstrations at the deli and a local news anchor happened to take a class. He liked her so much they gave her a 3 minute segment on the news that became a recurring thing.

Al Roker (the Today Show) saw her on local television and called the producers of the Today Show, told them about her, and got her on for a cooking segment where she made chicken and dumpling soup.

The next day, she was in a meeting with Food Network execs, and the rest is history.

i have mad props for her because sometimes when I stub my toe I’m like, ‘lmao that’s it for today’ and she fucking decided not to take any bullshit from life. 

Results day is rolling around, and that is followed soon by the awful beginning of the school year. There are many things you should do to make this year your best year yet but here are my top 10.

  1. Get a regular sleep schedule! Getting 8 hours every night will do nothing but good for you. Getting this into the same 8 hour period will give you a sense of routine and will adjust your body clock around these times - but it will take time. 2 weeks before you’re due to start school, create this routine and begin following it, so it’s less of a shock to the system.
  2. Eat healthier! Yes, I know, pizza is super good but it will brighten you if you eat less of it and eat a bit more salad. I know it tastes a bit pants but use some dressing. Eating healthily can do wonders so find what you actually like fruit/veg wise and eat it.
  3. Go for walks! Technically this is exercise which will do you all kinds of good but I’m saying walks because it gives you time to think. You can explore where you live, listen to that new album and think. Think about things that happened. Think about things that might happen. Think about things that may never happen. Think.
  4. Put aside a couple hours each week to read! Reading can expand your vocabulary and knowledge but it can be a way to forget. Forget your troubles and worries. Instead you are sucked into whatever you are reading. Whether that be aliens or a romance. 
  5. Plan your day the night/week before! Planning is calming for me. I like to know what I’m doing and where I’m meant to be. Sometimes I plan a whole week at a time and sometimes I plan just before I go to bed for the next day but it never hurts to be organised.
  6. Drop the excuses! Stop finding nonsense reasons not to do things. Your excuses should never be worth more than your dreams.
  7. Drink lots of water! You’ve heard this one hundreds of times before but it will do you good. Drink fizzy water. Drink weak, sugar free squash. Just drink.
  8. Socialise often! As important studying is and how intimidating people can be. Socialise for at least a hour every day. In person. Whether that be with family or friends or even that cute person who works at the coffee shop. Socialise.
  9. Check your email regularly! Firstly, clean up your inbox. Delete the thousand emails from that one company you hear from too much. Then check it regularly because that is how your professors will get in contact with you and you can’t miss that.
  10. Learn a little bit everyday! Whilst the summer happens you might learn about what you will study next term or what you are interested in. However, when the term starts, you should revise a little bit a day so you don’t forget what you learn early on.
Second runner up for oneshot contest.

Imagine finding Bucky after the events of ‘Winter Soldier,’ taking him home so you can take care of him.

You grow to yourself in the dark as you pass yet another street light. One hand clutches the steering wheel too hard while the other rubs back and forth across your the back of your head in frustration. The yellow light momentarily illuminates your vehicle as you pass it before dowsing you in darkness again. The road stretches out in front of you, black and empty and spotted with more dots of yellow reflecting in the gloss on the ground from the last rain.

The radio is playing a song that is far too loud and far too peppy. You smack it. This, of course, does nothing. You’re growl turns into a load grunt, and you jerk you hand over to flip on your turning light before you pull off to the side of the road.

You stop there, in the dark, and rub your eyes. A long sigh, a deep breath, and you manage enough self control to turn off the radio without breaking anything. Then you put your truck in reverse, glare over your shoulder, and make a three point turn back onto the road.

Retracing your earlier route, you drive slowly, trying to calm your heart for what you are about to do. I have no sense, you repeat to yourself, furious. No sense. Not the sense I was born with, not a lick. I’m gonna get murdered. And it’ll serve me right, too, little goody-two-shoes that I am—

The headlights of your truck illuminate a shadow hunkered over on the other side of the road. Swallowing all your second guessings, you whip into the turning lane, pull across into a random road, and then back right out again. A few seconds later, you roll to a stop along the edge of the street, headlights shining on what is undeniably a person. You stare at them through your windshield, feeling the rumble of your engine beneath you, feeling rather than actually voicing your internal debate again.

After a minute the figure lifts their head and a hand to shield themself from the light, peering at your through the glare. You pop open your front door and hop out, throwing your shoulders back and fingering the knife in your pocket for security.

You approach. Your voice is rather gruff when you ask, “You okay?”

The figure, rather bulky and decked out in a thick sweater and ripped up jeans, just blinked up at you. He even had on gloves. The entire outfit was decidedly too warm for this weather, middle of the night or not. A hood was pulled up over his head, loose scraggles of dark hair poking out limply around his face, which was buried in shadow.

“Well?” You snap, shifting on your feet and crossing your arms uncomfortably. It’s dark and late and your alone in a strange neighborhood with a silent stranger; you feel like jumping out of your skin. It’s like the first few minutes of a horror movie. Someone’s probably watching you on their tv, screaming at the screen for you to get back in the truck and drive off before you get yourself killed.

But this isn’t a horror movie, you tell yourself. This is real life and you are a kind person, worried about a stranger that might need help. It’s not like you can’t defend yourself. You aren’t uncautious. You can do this. Nothing bad is going to happen.

You keep repeating that as you wait.

“I …” The figure slowly lets his hand down. His voice cracks a bit as he continues, something between a laugh and a sob. “I don’t know.”

It’s heartbreaking. Such a simple sentence, but …

You uncross your arms. “You’re not some kind of serial killer or mass murderer, right?”

This is said jokingly, to lighten the mood and relieve your tense muscles. Instead, the words hang in the darkness, unanswered. A chill runs through you.

“I … ” He begins again, finally, staring down at the pavement. “No. I’m not. I’m not.

He sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself. It’s unnerving, but seriously, you wonder if he’s crying under that hood. He sounds so broken.

"You need me to call someone for you?” The police, you wonder. A hospital?

“There’s no one.”

“You got a place?”

“No. Not for a long time.”

Just your luck. “If I give you a lift, are you going to kill me?”

He snorts. “No. … a lift where?”

You cringe, half tempted to turn on your heel and just drive away. Just drive away.

Instead, you hear yourself reluctantly say, “My place.”

He looks up, staring into your face. “Why?”

“Do I need a reason to help someone?” You shrug. “I’d hope someone would help me if I needed it. Do you need it?”

He doesn’t answer for a while. He just stares, and you feel frozen to the spot, hand in your pocket again, thumb planted against the knife handle.

“Yes,” he chokes out. “Please.”

You nod. “Get in.”

Slowly, he stands. He doesn’t seem unsteady on his feet, which you take as a good sign, and back up to the driver’s side door. Once in, you lean across the seat and unlock the passenger’s side. He opens it and climbs in.

You don’t bother to turn the radio back on as you pull out into the road and drive away. Your knife is no longer readily accessible, but your both seatbelted in, so that’s a comfort. The drive isn’t that long, either. Twenty more minutes and you’re home, driving your car around the back of the thin two story building, ignoring the garage in front. That’s your shop, not for parking.

Downstairs is where your business runs out of, with the main office and storage areas. Because of this, security is pretty good—when your not bringing a stranger into the building with you, that is. You can see the headlines now: “Local Mechanic Found Dead in Home After Misplaced Act of Kindness.” The story of the hopeless world you live in practically writes itself. A tragedy.

You lead your “guest” upstairs with you, unlocking the apartment and throwing the keys on the kitchen counter as you enter, before even flipping on the lights. It’s a reflex. The place is pretty small, if you’re honest. But it’s home.

Walking past the counter straight into the living room reveals a sofa, coffee table, and the rather pricey tv that is your pride and joy. It’s the most expensive thing you own, even counting the computer set up downstairs in the office. Sadly, a lack of cable or satellite means it only gets used to watch the same cheap dvds over and over.

To the left is the door to your bedroom, which contains the only upstairs bathroom. It occurs to you that you’ll have to keep your room unlocked to supply access to it. A slightly uncomfortable thought.

“Alright,” you say, waving around the room. “The couch is all yours, the fridge is stocked, and the bathroom is through there. Make yourself at home.”

You turn to find him standing still just inside the doorway, eyes darting around, taking in the room and everything in it. It’s easier to see his face in the light. He’s unshaven, with sunken eyes, a strong chin, and thin lips. Frankly, he’s pretty good looking, but in definite need of a shower.

“You know what? I’ll take the couch. You hop in the shower and then hit the hay, alright? Unless your hungry.”

His eyes flit to you. They’re a deep, intense blue that isn’t helped any by the chilling stare he’s got going on. “I … am hungry, yes.”

It’s the middle of the night; you don’t want to cook. But all the same, you drop your bag by the bedroom door and start rummaging through the cabinets. There isn’t much. Living on the job like you do doesn’t leave much room for cooking, especially when fellow workers can come knocking during your lunchbreak to ask for help (which they always do). Normally, you manage to work takeout into the budget.

But your guest looks like a deer caught in headlights, panicked and stone still, ready to run at any moment. He’s pretty well built, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been without food recently. You want to do what you can. In the end, that turns out to be oatmeal and toast (you figured that was healthier than a frozen pizza; you’ll save those for tomorrow if he stays that long).

You set the food on the coffee table before him and settle onto the couch beside him. He finally pushes his hood back as he picks up a piece of toast and nods to you before taking a bite.

“Thank you.” Munch.

You smile, satisfied. He’s pretty quiet while he eats. He hasn’t taken the gloves off.

While he’s busy, you dig in your dresser for a pair of baggy sweatpants and an overly large tee-shirt. When you join him again, he’s finished off most of the bowl. You set the clothes beside him, along with a towel.

“That’s all I got, but they should fit. The washing machine’s downstairs, so just leave your dirty stuff by the door and I’ll take them down in the morning.”

He scoops the last of the oatmeal into his mouth and dusts his gloves off over the bowl. Flecks of toast scatter at the bottom. Then he picks up the shirt and holds it out, eyes flickering over the design.

It’s Captain America’s shield. He can’t seem to look away.

“You’re in my bed, friend.” You finally interrupt him, smirking. He puts the shirt down, blinking rapidly.

“Sorry. Thank you.” He stands and makes for the bedroom door, but pauses, swallowing. “Really. Thank you.”

You mock salute him. “You’re welcome.”

He disappears into your room. Hoping you don’t get your throat slit in the night, you sprawl out over the couch, settling where you can see the door over the tops of your feet, and try to sleep.


You honestly expected, when you picked your guest up, that he would be gone within a day or two. It takes that long just to get a name out of him, let alone find out where he belongs.

He uncomfortably informs you over dinner the third night that his name is James. You still wonder if that’s his real name; sometimes he doesn’t answer to it, like he’s not used to being called that at all.

James is quiet, tidy, and withdrawn. He’s also strong, unpredictable, and polite. They’re weird qualities to have rolled up in one person.

Seeing him emerge from your bedroom that first morning had been a tad startling. His left arm is a prosthetic, completely metal. He refused to leave the apartment until his hoodie and gloves were washed so he could hide it again.

If he wants to cover his arm up, that’s his business. But you were determined to make it clear he didn’t have to if he didn’t want to.

It looked like an expensive piece, but you don’t ask about it. Just like you don’t bug him for a name. James talks when he was ready to talk, and you think that’s probably best.

Two months it takes before he’s comfortable walking around the apartment in a tank top, and it’s still two weeks after that before he’s okay coming downstairs to the shop like that for the other employees to see. By then they’re all used to your mysterious roommate.

Hanging out with the workers is good for him. Making him smile has become a sort of personal goal for you most days, and having the others around to add variety helps. James’ sense of humor is varied and could even be raunchy at times, though he’s uncomfortable laughing at first.

James is uncomfortable with everything at first.

You let him do whatever he needs to do. The guy obviously has some soul searching that needs to be done. You give him a place to come home to, though, admittedly, the couch wasn’t much, so you saved up and got a new one that folds out into a bed. But he looked ready to run at any moment those first few days, so you never once mentioned him leaving. After a while, you didn’t really want him to.

He has nightmares. Bad nightmares. A far as you can tell, James is a vet, come home from a war to poverty, amnesia, and PTSD. You’re no therapist, but a few hours pouring over google has you hoping you’re equipped to deal with whatever James throws your way.

He breaks things sometimes. On accident, when he’s mad, when he wakes from the nightmares. He’s always sorry, always apologizing more than he needs to, always cleaning up and working to do something to make it up to you. He got into a fight in the garage once and broke a guy’s arm. He didn’t come out of the apartment for a week after that.

The dog helped with that. The internet had suggested it, and you had run with the idea. You’d visited three shelters before coming home with a three legged chocolate lab, which James had quietly named Buck. They were inseparable.

James takes great care of Buck, helps out in the shop (though, with the metal arm, he isn’t allowed near anything with a live current), and tends to flirt with just about anyone that comes through the door (something that bothers you a bit more than it should, but you’re trying not to think about that). He still has his silent, broody days, but his quirky smile is a vast improvement over the jumpy deer you’d brought home. It warms your heart every time you see it.

So when one of your coworkers mentions that James looks just like the pictures of Bucky Barnes they have up in the museum, you laugh it off. And when another guy says that, seriously, the resemblance is uncanny, pull up a pic on your phone, you roll your eyes and tell him to get back to work. And when James lets slip he was once “Sergeant Barnes,” you try not to think about it. Or about the outdated references and vocabulary you’ve had to correct. Or how he always seems to zone out when Captain America is on the news.

James will talk about it when he wants to talk about it. Until then, he’s home. With you.

As selfish as that may be, for now, he’s yours.

Written by forestofmyown.


Making a tortilla pizza (multigrain wrap topped with homemade sundried tomato and bacon sauce, light swiss cheese and fresh tomato and red bell pepper slices)

  • me: i need to eat healthier
  • me: buys mini pizzas, cold cuts, soda, bagels, cream cheese, white bread, easy mac, cup noodles, and replaces the candy with strawberries
  • me: nailed it