health tumblr

I’ve always been struggling, I’ve been struggling since I was 4 years old but up until grade 6 I was still able to achieve things like getting good grades. I was able to function very well on my own, I was even known as independent but now I’m dependant on others to make me feel less bad about my lack of independence. I used to have no problem waking for school, I used to get up at 6:00 AM then sixth grade came and every morning my head would be resting on my pillow soaked with tears because of the thought of getting out of bed to face the world that I didn’t want to be in. I don’t know why this change had to happen but it did, but I don’t want people to tell me that this change was supposed to happen because I feel like my creator was never on my side but I don’t want anyone to tell me that it wasn’t meant to happen because I’d feel like this is all my fault. My mom says that I still make her proud but that doesn’t really matter because I don’t feel the same way

— Cynthia Chapman

What depression is really like:

•caring about your grades but not enough to do anything about them

•thinking about suicide more than graduating

•considering suicide whenever any problem arises

•tired

•no motivation

•no energy

•walking is so hard

•sometimes even talking is too much work because you’re so god damn tired

•laying in bed for hours because you’re too tired to move

•feeling nothing but sometimes everything

•knowing you’re not alone but still feeling alone

•that constant mindset of, “Who cares? I wont be around much longer anyways.”

•wishing to be left alone, while also wishing for people to stay

•never believing you’re good enough

•always putting yourself down

•never planning to far ahead in time

•fake smiles, fake laughs

•long showers because that’s you’re little moment of escape

Longs term effects of emotional abuse:

• a distrust in your perceptions

• a tendency to be fearful or on guard

• self-consciousness or fear of how you are coming across

• an inability to be spontaneous

• a distrust of people and in future relationships

• anger that bursts out unexpectedly

• sensitivity to anyone trying to control you

• the feeling of anxiety when someone lets you decide

• withdrawal from social interactions

• unexplainable feelings of shame/guilt

• unusual weight gain/loss

• changes in appetite

• unexplained anxiety or depression states

• self destructive behavior

• isolation from friends/family

• substance abuse

Things on tumblr that need to stop:
  • Callout culture and mob mentality
  • The idea that everything is activism; it isn’t
  • Acting as though it’s the responsibility of other people to create a perfect online environment for you; it’s your own responsibility, nobody else’s
  • Normalizing the filter bubble
  • Romanticizing and trivializing mental illness 
  • Anti-shipping movements 
  • Acting as though being a minor/ trauma survivor/ someone with a mental illness is an excuse for being a shitty person 
  • The idea that taking interest in something in fiction means you support it/ condone it in reality
  • Shaming people for their coping strategies
  • Warping the meaning of words such as pedophilia for your own agenda
  • The idea that tumblr is only for minors
  • Trivializing racism/ homophobia/ transphobia in regards to things like shipping
  • The idea that exploring dark/ bad/ ‘problematic’ themes in fictional environments is automatically a bad thing
  • The idea that fans have some kind of unspoken right in regards to what happens in canon; you don’t
  • General entitlement
  • Suicide baiting
  • American ethnocentrism
  • The idea that interpretation = fact
  • The idea that fanon and canon always have to be connected
  • ‘Fandom moms’
  • The idea that if someone used to support something bad, they should always be judged by that and don’t have the ability to change and educate themselves 

Having anxiety isn’t just feeling anxious, it’s caring so much of what others think that you live in constant fear. It keeps your mind racing on small things that aren’t even a big deal. It is a battle against you and your caring mind.