healing party

First time playing DND

School event, my Chem teacher is DM'ing. I choose to be a Half-Orc Paladin. Chaotic Good.
Low intelligence, DMTeacher makes fun of me throughout the game as a “Stupid Orc” My mother tries to pick me up early because she doesn’t wanna wait so late into the night, so teacher tries to give me a glorious moment before I go

DM: So all of the sudden, all of the creatures leave the town, and a booming voice is heard “Sar!(my character’s name) You and your group have fought well. If you can defeat me, my forces will leave”

My group gathers in the town, several monsters and boss show up. We square up. Mother keeps trying to get me to leave, I almost die, person in my party discreetly healing me as to not violate the rules of the duel. I think even Bahamut himself helps me out at one point.

Boss is down to 10 HP, I’m down to 3. DM sees no way for me to win. He says “The dragonoid walks up to you and puts his sword by his neck, and suddenly sheathes, walking away. He claims victory, but allows you to live.”

The students nod their heads “good job to-” I interrupt them

“SLASH HIM IN THE BACK WITH A HALBERD!”

Teacher stares at me in disbelief. “…roll for it”

I roll the 20 and the die for a Halberd.

Boss dies instantly.

“While the monsters are scattering to leave and your party cheering in… conflicted victory. You look into the crowd, you see a purple scaly being similar to that of the thing you just killed. It is his son, you have made a mortal ene-”

“THROW MY SPEAR AT THE KID”

Roll a 3. Miss

DMTeacher is determined to teach me a lesson.

“Although you stand in victory, you feel your holiness and good graces of the gods leave your being”

I reply “I’m too stupid to understand the morality of the situation”

“Roll for intelligence”

I roll the D20. I roll a 4

“Your stupidity saves you from righteous judgement.”

6

“Take my believing heart!”

Little Witch Persona AU anyone? Phantom witches?? Witch thieves???

**Please DO NOT edit, use, or repost any of these! Thank you!

Nine New Phantom Witches

character profiles, concepts and dialogues under the cut!

Keep reading

5

Magic Guild Clash Online!
a sorta sequel to the Detention AU fic
…in which Mira manages to rally her girlfriend and her two new friends to help her in her favorite online game.
She’s a goddamn veteran. Cana tries her best. Freed just likes the outfit, and Laxus just wants to collect birb plushies.

Cana: Don’t worry, Laxus. I think you’re a hot girl.
Mira: Same.
Laxus: See, Freed, be proud. Your boyfriend is a hot girl.
Freed: Oh My G O D.

4

HELLO POLICE I’D LIKE YOU TO ARREST THIS BOY FOR BEING A FCUKING SWEETHEART AND MELTING MY HEART THAT’S NOT ALLOWED

Darkest Dungeon character classes include but are not limited to:

-A man falling apart due to leprosy but is paradoxally the tankiest and hardest-hitting class available but has next to no utility beyond Hit Thing Hard

-A man with the single most powerful healing spell in the game that more often than not will cause more damage than it prevents

-A woman with a crossbow nearly as long as she is tall that fires arrows larger than some of the monsters you face that nonetheless do little damage on their own because they’re too big to aim properly

-A masked man that communicates almost entirely by *snorts* and “…hm” that excels at kicking people when they’re down and is such a thoroughly dirty fighter that I’m led to believe he’s nonverbal because otherwise his dialogue would consist of nothing but sadistic laughter.

-A man and his loyal dog, whose slobber has healing properties, whose eerie howls reduce party stress, and whose teeth can cause intense and profuse bleeding even if they fail to do any damage.

-A god-fearing woman whose a powerhouse of party healing and combat utility but for some reason is absolutely shit at alleviating any sort of mental strain. Also, despite her status as a “vestal” and an agent of God, she has few qualms with visiting taverns and brothels.

-A plague doctor whose vast array of diseases and poisons are so potent that they can affect the undead and creatures made entirely out of blighted fungal tissue, and who possesses some kind of magical reverse-leeches that pump blood back into their targets to heal them.

-A man literally possessed by a powerful demon that he can painfully shapeshifting into at will, who understandably cannot be put into a party with any God-faithful character, and despite all his claims of the “horrors inside him” he has no inherent resistance to stress damage.

-A man who beats himself up so visciously every single day that he’s basically impossible to kill with certain builds and can lash enemies so thoroughly that he can make fleshless skeletons start bleeding.

-A woman so consumed with bloodlust that she’s incapable of moving backwards unless forced and has the most stable and continuous damage output of any other hero class.

-A clown that actually reduces the amount of stress and horror your party feels for once, though he’s still as monstrous as any other clown as far as your enemies are concerned. Also has the honor of, with the right setup and buffs, being able to pull off the single most damaging attack in the game at the cost of taking 300000 years to pull it off again later.

Cursed Items man

So i decided to give my characters a decent magic item, an iron crown that granted the user to add radiant damage and allowed them to gain a flying speed yet since none knew identify they didnt know it was cursed until one of them put it on, Welle (pronounced Well) the Sorcerer.

Welle OOC: so this thing hurts me after an hour of flying?

Me: You seem to get that impression

Welle OOC: I take it off

Me: As you got to take it off you find out that its just stuck on your head

Welle OOC: right i have a plan

Welle: When i go unconcious get this and heal me

Party: okay?

-Welle is eventually rendered unconcious 2 more times trying different ways to remove the crown-

Welle OOC: Can i just roll a strength check to pull it off

Me: Sure, why not

Welle OOC: NAT 20 *very proud* anything?

Me: Nope

Welle OOC: but nat 20 *annoyed and sad that a nat 20 failed*

- Everytime he’s acting a bit proud I now just randomly ask him “Hows the hat?” and he just responds “Fuck you” -

9

ファック


@ask-nandos-tracer, I do not think we expected such an outcome…

// Feat. @ask-partycity-mercy

Merle: twentyserpentine. zag on ‘em

Merle: *actually heals his party*

Taako: twentyserpentine. zag on em

Taako: *throws himself into the fray of battle*

Magnus: twentyserpentine. zag on em

Magnus: *gets his own fucking arm ripped off*

Me playing a fighter: fucking heal me. HEAL ME! I’M DOWN HERE RISKING MY LIFE FOR THE PARTY! NOW HEAL ME BEFORE I FUCKING DIE! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HIDING AT THE BACK OF THE PARTY? CLERICS CAN FIGHT!!!!!!! YOU HAVE A FUCKING MACE!!!!!!!! HEAL ME! GET DOWN HERE AND HEAL ME! WTF IS A POTION OF CURE LIGHT GOING TO DO???? WHY DO I EVEN CARRY THIS???!!!! FUCK!!!!!

Me playing a cleric: I’d totally love to heal you but you’re really far away and surrounded by a ton of really strong enemies and maybe you shouldn’t have charged in there like that without any backup and all is what I’m saying. Look I’m just going to hang back and cast some defensive spells and first chance I get, I SWEAR, first chance, I’m going to heal you. Just drink a potion okay. Drink a potion. You have a potion right?

Y'all this ‘Kairi and Lea training together’ Discourse ™ is getting ridiculous and very off topic real fast. So I just want to make a few points clear.

1. Do we know Axel was an asshole? Do we know that what he did was wrong? Yes, we are aware. Not denying that.

2. Are Axel and Lea the same person? Well technically, yes, they are. But we also know that Axel and Lea have differences. Lea has a ‘heart’, for starters.

3. Does Lea have to take responsibility for his actions as Axel? Ideally, yeah, he should. 'Taking responsibility’ is not the same as 'suffering for your actions’ aka karma having to get you back for what you did. Don’t get this mixed up.

But Nymph, Axel did some horrible stuff. Why would he deserve good stuff to happen to him? Well, it’s not as simple as that. It’s not about 'deserving’ good or bad, it’s about learning from mistakes and from the past. Even as a nobody, Axel already was regretting having kidnapped Kairi, and was willing to sacrifice himself to make up for it. To make up for all the wrong he did. Does this mean we should automatically forgive him? Not necessarily. What matters here is that he was aware of his wrongs and he was willing to change. For the better.

But then, why should Kairi forgive Lea? Well, to begin with, Lea apologized. And some people may say, 'what? What does it matter if he did? That doesn’t make him any less of an ass’. It does matter and yes, it does make him less of an ass. It doesn’t erase what he did, but apologizing and being forgiven it’s the first step for both parties to heal wounds and get over the past.

We could say Lea is deeply regretful of what he did, and he’s so conscious of it he even goes and apologizes several times. What kind of person would not be willing to give a chance to someone who’s trying to change? Certainly someone who’s spiteful and not willing to accept people can be better. (Not to mention the fact that holding in rage and scorn against someone is extremely unhealthy- in this case, people complaining and saying Kairi should hate Lea and not forgive him).

It certainly doesn’t sound like Kairi to me, and anyone who tries to say that she would, or even worse, should be like this, it’s only projecting their own hate against Axel/Lea.

I mean, Kairi has all the right to be angry, and to distrust him. But I think she also has the right to forgive eventually.

No player characters died beyond Scanlan’s activation of death ward and the half second he was out before getting healed back to consciousness. He was then very swiftly getting boosted back into the triple digits. 

They successfully locked away a would-be god with only two of the trammels, one of which was the fragile one. 

Nearly everyone still had a decent amount of resources left - Scanlan and possibly Pike were running low on spell slots, but otherwise the group was still okay overall. 

They survived three Meteor Swarms. 

They did….really stinking well all things considered. That battle couldn’t have gone much better than it did. 

MORGANA WHEN THE FUCK

WHY THE FUCK

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU RISK YOUR LIFE IN SUCH A STUPID MANNER TO PROVE A STUPID POINT 

WHAT WOULD I TELL EVERYONE IF YOU DIED FROM EATING ONIONS

WHAT WOULD I DO WITH THE BODY

WHO WOULD HEAL THE PARTY?

WHO WOULD TEACH US HOW TO LOCK PICK?

WHO WOULD BRIGHTEN OUR DAY BY BEING CUTE AND A SNARKY BITCH?

MORGANA WHAT THE FUCK