headless women

Name: Penanggalan, Hantu Penanggal
Area of Origin: Malaysia

The Penanggalan are ghostly variations of the Vampire myth found in Southeast Asian folk mythology, and are similar to the Manananggal of Filipino folklore. The words Manananggal and Penanggal may both mean ‘detach’ or 'remove’ due to both languages having a common root in the Austronesian language family. A Penanggal is a detached female head that is capable of flight, with its entrails and organs dangling below. Though often classified as an undead creature, it can re-attach itself to its body and live as a human being. In folklore, a Penanggal may either be a beautiful old or young woman that has obtained her beauty through use of black magic or through other supernatural means. They are usually midwives that have made pacts with the devil; a stipulation in the pact is to not eat meat for 40 days. Breaking this stipulation will afflict a curse upon the midwife, turning her into a bloodsucking vampire or demon. After the detached head returns from its hunts, it will immerse its organs in a vat of vinegar in order to shrink them for easy insertion back into the body. The Penanggalan traditionally prey upon pregnant women and young children, and perch on the roofs of houses where women are in labor, screeching when the child is born. It is said that the use of the thorny leaves of the Mengkuang plant will help protect houses that are susceptible to a Penanggalan attack, as the creature’s exposed organs could get damaged by their sharp exterior. However, the demoness could still come up through a house’s floorboards if the area is unguarded. 

Sleepwalking To You , it’s out of my control. ( Jhope/OC)

Chapter 3/?

Genre : angst/ Drama/ Romance.

Pairing : Hoseok/ Jiah (OC)

Rating : Mature.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

“Why did you marry me?” Hoseok said softly, watching me as I squeezed the last of the water out of the soft white towel. The water was hot, infused with some herbs and root essence that Seokjin had brought earlier that day. I pressed the towel against hoseok’s legs, letting the warmth seep into his skin and he let out a little moan , one that definitely made me turn a few shades red. We were out on the patio, Hoseok reclining on one of the chairs on the sundeck while I kneeled on the hardwood next to him. It was little past five in the evening and the sun had set, leaving behind a mild golden hue and a gentle breeze that was soothing without being cold.

“What do you mean? You know why…” I said impatiently, massaging his leg gently, trying to ignore the way my back screamed in protest. It was now a little over three weeks and today, Hobi had managed to lever himself up off the bed and into his wheelchair without any help. Seokjin had been positively ecstatic.

“I know but.. why did you stay? You ought to have left..” He said impatiently and I stared at him . He looked sulky. Upset.

“You know why. I was still in college and you were paying for it.” I said softly, remembering the way my father had promptly cut off my tuition after my marriage. ’ Your husband should support you.’ He had said. Hoseok had barely been making money back then, but he had still paid for my tuition.

“I would have paid for it, even if you left me.” He said then and I paused, looking up at him. The late evening sun picked out the golden tones on his skin and I swallowed nervously.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m here now. ” I said uncomfortably, grabbing the towel again.

“And I can’t figure out why…” He said softly. There was a hint of suspicion in his tone that made my skin crawl.

“What is that supposed to mean?  i’m not getting anything out of this…” I said , staring at him.

“Exactly. So why are you here? Why are you cooking, cleaning up after me, helping me shower, dress and live when there’s literally nothing in it for you?” He said angrily and I shut my eyes.

“You’re unbelievable! i can’t believe you’re asking me that…”

“You’re no saint. I know you don’t want to be here so why-”

I couldn’t help the laughter that got choked out of me.  

“ Maybe because I don’t want to be the woman who dumped her husband the moment he got hurt, okay?” I said furiously, tears stinging. “ You think I don’t know? If I leave you now, I’ll be the bitch who left you because you lost your livelihood. Who knows, even you may think that way about me!” I said bitterly . Hoseok had the good grace to look ashamed.

“That’s not fair.. i never…”

“Fair? Why should i be fair, Hobi? You were supposed to divorce me. You should have done that, months ago. Instead you kept me hanging around like a stray dog you gave shelter to.You weren’t even planning on telling me that you wanted to wait two more years before divorcing me. i had to hear it from your girlfriend. And now, when you’re hurt, you want me to leave you. You think I don’t know why? You want to hate me. You want to call me a selfish, materialistic bitch and if I left you like this, when you need me the most, it would be easy to convince yourself that’s true, wouldn’t it?” I couldn’t think straight anymore, my vision blurring as I wiped away fat drops of tears as they slid down my cheeks.

Hoseok looked stunned. I glared at him. i was tired and exhausted. I really didn’t want to stay there. Grabbing the wheelchair , i rolled it to a stop in front of him, suddenly glad that he could get on the thing by himself. I didn’t want to touch him.

“Do what you want. I’m going to bed.” I snapped, turning on my heels but he grabbed my skirt, startling me. I yanked the fabric away, flustered.

“Come on, I was just…”

“Being a cruel bastard? Yes you were.” I hated the way my voice shook. Hoseok looked genuinely worried then and made a low noise of regret in his throat.

“Wait, I’m sorry… I am… i really am.. Just come sit with me for a while. ” He said , looking deceptively apologetic and i almost believed him. But then i stared at his outstretched hand and turned around ready to storm off.

And i almost managed to.

Almost but not quite. I made to move away but his hand shot out, grabbing my wrist and yanking me hard till i crashed right into him. He grunted but pulled me closer, flush against his body on the chair, one arm wrapped tight around my body to keep me in place. I was flattened against his chest, his handsome face inches from mine and i blinked, stunned. I hadn’t realized how attractive his angular features were, up close and I went cross eyed, trying to get my vision back in focus.

“Mianhe… ” He whispered and my throat went dry, his breath fanning right across my lips and I dug the heel of my palms into his chest, ignoring the way he groaned in pain. I levered myself off him quickly, glaring at him.

“I don’t want your apology.” I said furiously and he actually had the gall to smile.

“I’d almost forgotten.” He whispered.

I stared at him.

“What?” I said suspiciously.

“Your eyebrows start to twitch  when you get angry. They did that the first time i walked in on you in the shower. ” He said, smirking. . I couldn’t believe him.

“You’re insane.” I said. He sobered up and sighed, running a palm over his face and holding his hand out again. i didn’t pull away but let him hold my wrist, lightly , not sure what was happening. He rubbed his thumb over the skin at the base of my hand, soothing circles that made my throat go dry.

“Jiah, I mean it. I’m sorry. It’s just that… I don’t think you deserve to suffer for something that isn’t your fault.” He said quietly and the words hit me broadside.

I couldn’t think of a response. It wasn’t like he cared, right? Even so, why should he? After all this time. I took a deep breath .

“I’m not…  suffering. i just.. i want you to get better. I want to.. i don’t know …see you on stage again, I guess. Maybe even come to one of your dance showcases Yoongi’s always telling me about. i can’t believe i never did before.” I was going off on a tangent and i cleared my throat before staring at him again. “  Anyway, what I mean is… I just … I want you to be yourself again. I want you to be… the same guy I met, I guess , when I do leave you.I want you to become that guy, again. And once you do, I wouldn’t stay if you begged me to.” I said , trying to force out a laugh but failing.

He gave me a very curious look.  

“And if I don’t?” He said, raising one eyebrow and tugging on my wrist again, forcing me to actually sit next toi him. His shoulders pressed against mine, felt like heated coal. I stared at him and he swallowed.

“What?” I said, confused  when he looked away, fingers gripping the edge of the chair. They were long and nicely formed, the simple silver wedding band still resting on the knobby knuckles. I thought of my own ring, now sold and probably in some trinket shop. Had Hoseok noticed I wasn’t wearing it? Did he think I tossed it? I wanted to cry.

“If I don’t get better? What then? You and I both know there’s a pretty good chance that could happen. You know i could spend the rest of my life on this damn chair.” He whispered and for a second it looked like he actually believed his own ridiculous words.

i stared at him.

“Not if you don’t want to. Hoseok, no one can make you do something you don’t want to. And no one can stop you from doing what you want to either.” I said softly, pressing my palm against his cheek before coming to my senses and pulling away. I quickly gathered the bowl of water and the wet towels and gave his knee a pat. He groaned.

“Where are you going?” He muttered.

“Let’s go back in. I’ll make ramen and Kimchi fried rice. Your favorite.” I said absently, hearing my back pop as i turned .

“Let’s order in.” Hobi replied. I stopped, surprised.

“What?”

“You’ve been cooking everyday for the past seven weeks. Why don’t we order in today? You should take rest for a while.” He said softly.

“Uh.. Well, okay. If that’s what you want.”

Suddenly, the atmosphere was unaccountably awkward. Heart pounding, i quickly went in.

~~~~~

“It’s past eleven. Why don’t you go sleep now.” I said, fixing his bed and calling out to where he was in the corridor, trying to flex his legs on his therapy equipment.

“No. You go ahead. I’m not sleepy.”

I hesitated. Seokjin had also warned me about Hobi being  too  tenacious and overworking himself.

“Let’s watch a move, Hobi!” i said softly.

He didn’t reply for a few seconds.

“Movie? what movie?”

An hour later, he was settled on the couch in front of the home Theater a huge table of snacks and drinks around him, body nestled amidst half a dozen cushions and throw pillows while i browsed through jeon Jung kook’s horror collection. Literally every single movie was horror or anime.

“How do you feel about a horror movie? I heard this one was really scary…” i said, pulling out a relatively new title.

“Horror.. uh… Are you sure? i wouldn’t want you to get scared.” He said casually and i smiled at him.

“that’s really thoughtful of you, but I’m not scared of them. I’ve always enjoyed them.” I glanced at him then.

He looked a little green.

“what’s wrong? Are you okay?” i said concerned. He shook his head, as though to clear it. And then managed a weak smile.

“Uh.. Yeah. Let’s watch then…”

Exactly an hour later, I found myself fighting guffaws as Hobi cowered against my shoulders,  fingers curled into fists as he tried to burrow closer.

“Oh my God.. why didn’t you tell me you were scared of this ?” I said beyond amused but feeling just a bit too cruel. Cruel enough to keep watching that is.

“You’re the freak who isn’t scared of a headless women with blood dripping out of her neck.. Holy shit…” He choked out and i couldn’t help laughing.

“Fine. Next time we’ll watch the Little mermaid, alright?” i teased and he growled and without any warning his mouth opened, teeth closing over my shoulder in a nip that was just short of painful.

We both froze.

“Did… Did you just bite me?” I whispered, horrified.

He didn’t reply for a second.

“I told you we shouldn’t be watching these movies. I’m not in my right senses.” He muttered. Laughing despite myself , i shoved him off and found him smiling wide, his entire face lighting up and the sight of it just hit me like a sucker punch to the stomach. When was the last time i’d seen him smile like that. Hobi’s smile looked like it could grow flowers, a mix of sparkling sunlight and glistening rain.

“I should go to bed now.” I said softly.

He sighed.

“Will you sleep with me…? In the bed…” He said without warning and my heart skipped two beats.

“What…”

“I haven’t been sleeping for .. a long time. Nearly five days now. Taehyung… he.. well he told me it might help if we shared a bed.. You know physical comfort and all that.” He wasn’t meeting my eyes and I cleared my throat.

“Uh…I don’t. ”

“Don’t make it weird. Really, I just.. i mean… It’s not like I could even try anything even if I wanted to.” He said and when I glared at him, he grinned. “ Not that I want to, of course.”

“Fine, but only today because i don’t want you screaming in the middle of the night because you dreamed about this movie.” I said rolling my eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~

When I woke up in the morning, my chin lay on his clavicle, drool soaking through his tank top and wetting his skin. Hoseok looked beyond disgusted as he rolled me off to the side and grunted.

“It’s really late. Seokjin will be here in half an hour. Wake up.” He said impatiently and I stared groggily. I seldom slept past seven and yet the clock on the bedside read 9.30 AM. Groaning, I climbed out of the bed turning around to fumble for my phone when i caught a glimpse of Hoseok, flipping through my phone casually.

“Yah.. who the hell is Kim Namjoon? Why is he flirting with you?” He said casually and i flushed red.

“That is none of your business. ”

“Really… ? So you won’t mind if I tell Yoongi hyung about this ’ Min Suga Sexy moments’  you’ve got saved in your phone?” He grinned and I choked.

To be fair Yoongi looked insanely good while rapping. But i would rather not let him know i thought that. Glaring at my annoying husband , I grabbed my phone and sulked.

“He’s one of the producers Yoongi works with and for your information he isn’t flirting with me. He signed a deal with Yoongi and wanted to take all of us out to celebrate. ” i rolled my eyes, reaching for my shirt , not even remembering taking it off. But I was just used to wearing more than two layers of clothing all the time so i wasn’t really indecent.

“I see. Well if you really want to-”

The door bell rang, startling both of us.

“Seokjin? He’s early. ” I said surprised. Grabbing the wheelchair and moving it closer to the bed for Hobi to get into, I moved downstairs, reaching the front door and peering out curiously.

My entire body stiffened when i saw that it wasn’t Seokjin.

It was Hyeri.

I opened the door slowly, staring at her oversized coat and sunglasses.

“unnie…. ” i said surprised. She gave me a little smile that was oddly bitter.

“So , you managed to prove me wrong. You must be happy.” she said loftily , stepping in slowly and looking around.

“Happy that Hoseok is getting better. Not that I proved you wrong.” i said casually.

She turned around and stared at me.

“You should probably leave now. Hobi and I could use some… privacy. ”

I tried not to flush. She was trying to bait me, i tried to tell myself. Better not give her the satisfaction. But i couldn’t help but feel a sudden swell of protective instinct surface. I didn’t really want to leave Hobi with her.

“He’s still getting better and-”

“Where is my Hobi?” she said softly, cutting me off.

My  Hobi.  

I felt suddenly sick to my stomach. But I was saved the trouble of replying when my husband came into view, slowly moving the wheelchair down the ramp. He caught sight of her and his face went completely blank. He was wearing the same tank top he’s fallen asleep in.

The tank top I’d fallen asleep on.

“Baby!! i missed you…”

I watched her rush straight into his arms , actually climbing on top of him and i saw the wince he tried to hide and i turned away, helpless anger flooding my veins in quick succession. I had to get out of here before I vomited all over the floor. I also had to get my head on straight.

As if on cue, the sound of Seokjin’s car made me glance out. Without even bothering to look at my husband and his lover , I all but ran outside, grabbing my shoes on the way.

I couldn’t breathe the air in that house right now.

~~~~~~~~

“Is there a reason we’re out for lunch instead of helping Hoseok with his therapy?” Seokjin mumbled around a mouthful of Sashimi and I gave him an apologetic look.

“Well, he’s got.. uh.. some work to do I guess. I thought it would be nice to take a break today. He’s been very tired lately  And he actually worked out an extra hour before bed last night.” I said quickly.

It wasn’t like i could honestly tell him that Hyeri had told me to get out of the house beacuse they wanted some ’ privacy,’ i poked my fork into my noodles, trying not to let it get to me, honestly. it wasn’t like this was new. it really shouldn’t hurt every time i saw her with him but sometimes it did and there was nothing i could do about it.

“Well, I suppose one day wouldn’t hurt. Incidentally, I have the day off. You want to hit the beach?” He said with a grin and i smiled grudgingly.

“I don’t have any beach stuff and i know for a fact that i look like a homeless bum.” I said, glancing down at the open white shirt, faded pink tank top and the jean cutoffs.

Seokjin gazed at my bare legs and gave me a little grin.

“As a resident of Jeju Do, i always carry beach stuff in my car. Come on… We’ll go get our feet wet and maybe eat some delicious food.”

I stared at him and sighed. Jin was friendly, funny and also a good guy. Maybe a day at the beach would help me get my priorities in order and understand that Jung Hoseok was not mine in any way shape or form.

~~~~~~~~~

When i got back home , Hyeri wasn’t home. I tossed the huge bag full of snacks and toys that somehow Seokjin had ended up buying and called out tentatively, half afraid i would walk in on something indecent.

“Where the hell did you go?” Hoseok growled from the shadows and i jumped. “ I’ve been trying to call you for three hours.”

Staring at him , i tried to think of an answer but my mind had come to a grinding halt.

“I left my phone behind. I uh.. went to the beach . Is uh.. Hyeri here…?” I said stupidly.

He stared at me.

“ I thought you left for good.” He said suddenly and I felt an iron fist close around my heart.

“Hoseok…”

“I’m going to bed. Tell Seokjin I don’t want to see him for a while and Tell Yoongi I’m heading back to Seoul.”

I stared at him , confused and completely thrown.

“Hobi.. what…”

“I’ve had enough of this. I’m not… I’m not going to dance again.. i’m not going to be a… dancer again and I don’t want to live in my delusions alright?? Call Yoongi!”

“Okay, this is ridiculous. What did that woman say…”

“This isn’t about her.. For once in your life stop making me miserable and  just call Yoongi  ” He spat out and I froze. He looked angry but the anger stemmed from hurt. i could sense it beneath his skin like a living thing.

“What did she say?” I said quietly. Hobi stared back defiantly.

“It doesn’t fucking matter… It doesn’t… I just…”

“You know what.? You don’t have to tell me.  i’ll find out myself.”

I turned around and grabbed my jacket quickly before plucking my phone off the table. I found her number and dialed quickly, ignoring Hoseok’s protests and rushing out into the rain. I ran all the way to the busstop, drenched before i reached the small shelter there. She picked up on the very last ring.

“What the fuck did you do to him?” I growled and she laughed , actually laughed.

“Jiah, you’re the most naive woman in the planet. Did you honestly think he would be okay again? You can’t be that foolish. He hurt his spine and his lower body. Do you even know what that  means? No, normal woman will have him. He’s not even a man anymore.”

I blinked, stunned. Had she  actually  told Hobi that….

“What did you say to him…” i whispered, stunned.

“I told him the truth. That just because he could walk and crawl about, he couldn’t be a dancer again. i told him to do the right thing and to divorce you and marry me. at least then he can live out his life without starving. Because, let;s be serious, it’s not like  you  can afford to support him for the rest of your life.”

I was too flabbergasted to reply, so she continued.

“And he listened to sense. So he;s coming back to Seoul and I’m going to marry him.”

She hung up before i could say another word. I just stood there in the rain, trying to gather my thoughts. what had just happened? How could she claim to love him and then use words like that on him? what kind of a vindictive person did that? But oddly, she wasn’t the one I was mad at.

Still fuming, I walked back to the house, drenched and shivering.  Hoseok was waiting on the porch, looking genuinely worried. Relief flooded his face when he saw me.

“ Don’t ever do that again…” He said angrily and i ignored him, storming into the hallway and nearly cracking my skull when I slipped on the floor.

“For God’s sake, be careful. Come here. ” He had come up right behind me and I stayed still as he grabbed a towel off the rack and gave my hand a little pull .

It took me a second to realize he was trying to pull me to his lap.

I yanked the towel away from him instead and threaded the fabric through the wet strands of my hair before glaring at him.

“I spoke to her. ” I said , watching him closely.

“She has a point.” He said annoyingly. “ I’m not going to be able to dance like before and it’s a really competitive field.”

I took a deep breath.

“That won’t change by you going to Seoul. I told you already, I’m not letting you give up. You’re going to stand and then walk and then run and then dance. I’m going to make sure you do as much of it as you can.” I said furiously.

“ and what? What possible use would it be for me to walk and run when I can’t…” He stopped and his lips went into a thin line.

“Can’t what?” I said surprised.

“Nothing…”

“It’s clearly not nothing if it’s making you consider quitting therapy. i can’t help if you don’t talk to me…”

“I can’t be in a relationship… ” He muttered and i tried not to yowl in frustration.

“You already are in a relationship.. what are you even talking about?” I said thoroughly confused.

He just stared at me as though making his mind up about something. Finally he took a deep shuddering breath and then exhaled shakily.

“I can’t have sex.” He said shortly.

I went still.

Oh.

Don’t blush. Don’t blush.

I cleared my throat.

“Uh… Well, just so you know the doctor spoke to me about this and it’s in your medical records as well. As you continue therapy , there is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to.. have sex again.” I said, trying not to meet his eyes head on.

“ And till then?” He said casually.

“What do you mean till then?”

“Is my girlfriend supposed to be celibate till then? Would  you  wait for an indefinite amount of time, hoping you could have a healthy relationship with me… ?” He said softly .

“A healthy relationship isn’t necessarily based on sex….” I protested and he scoffed.

“Spoken like a true virgin.”

I stared at him, suddenly hurt.

“I’m serious. I’m not saying i would never touch you or kiss you but.. there’s so many wonderful things about you, other than what you do in the bedroom. Those count too, alright?”

“You mean like my dancing…? Oh wait. i lost that too. ! Why can’t you just be fucking honest and tell me i’m a lost cause.There’s nothing left here worth saving!!” He said angrily and I hesitated.

“Hobi.. There’s a lot worth saving… I don’t even know you that well … but even I know that there’s more to you than just your body.”

He stared at me looking oddly vulnerable.

“Oh, yeah. Like what?” He muttered.

“Your hair…” i said softly, moving against my better judgment to touch the back of his head. He stiffened but didn’t pull away" Your hair it feels like silk.. like water running through my fingers.“ I swallowed, before tracing the edge of his ears. And then I stepped away because it seemed too much.  ” You’re always listening to people. It’s easy to talk but it takes a special kind of person to listen and that’s.. I mean you’re still like that. And you don’t hurt people with your words. I’ve never seen you be cruel on purpose. You’re kind, you’re helpful. You’re the reason I’m not begging on the streets right now. You don’t lie to people and even after all these years.. I can’t bring myself to even dislike you because I know, deep down that you’re a good man.“ I took a deep breath.

"And most importantly, if it was me in that wheelchair right now, you wouldn’t abandon me either.” I whispered.

He didn’t reply , just stared at me.

“So don’t tell me what to save and what not to save, Hobi. ” I sighed. “ i won’t force you to stay. But think about it. I’m here. I’ll help you fight this. I won’t ask for anything in return, just… i just want you to give this a chance.  If you still want to leave in the morning, I’ll call Yoongi.” i finished tiredly.

When he didn’t reply to that either, i grabbed the wet towel and moved to my own bedroom.

flaws

The first time it happens, Erwin’s washing dishes in Levi’s sink. There’s a faint song that’s more static than lyrics coming through tinnily on the radio, radio waves scattered by the inclement weather. The night is the kind of night made dark by clouds and cold by an approaching storm, but utterly still before its arrival.

It’s a nice night, despite that.

They’ve had exactly four and a half dates at this point. One and a half of those involved spilled coffee and dry cleaning bills, an apologetic dinner with a bit too much shared wine.

Two of those were more and less than that. Levi doesn’t date; doesn’t like to date, and it leaves him slightly rusty on the general ways to go about this. They haven’t kissed yet, or done much of anything yet, really. They shared oddly intimate silences, the space between their bodies small enough to be personal, but not close enough to be claustrophobic. Erwin had an unspoken understanding of Levi’s anxiety.

His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a splash. He waits for the inevitable crash of glass shattering, but that doesn’t happen. He looks into the kitchen.

Erwin’s hands are firm around the dishes still, absently drying the plate he holds with Levi’s checkered dish towel.

There’s smoke spilling from his neck, where his head should be.

The blonde of his head crests over the lip of the sink. “Levi,” Levi hears, the words oddly bubbly–like sound traveling through water rather than air, “could you help me put my head back on?”

“Sure,” is the knee-jerk response. He stands from the dinner table and goes to the kitchen.

It’s settling Erwin’s soapy head onto his neck, the skin fusing neat and seamless together, that the panic comes up. “Usually people have sex around the fourth date, not find out their boyfriend is the headless horseman,” Levi says in a confused mumble, stroking where a cut should be on Erwin’s neck.

Erwin winces. “Press too hard and it’ll pop off again,” he warns. “And there’s more than one headless horseman. Some are women, you know. Headless horsewomen. We’re more common than you think. Not all of us even have horses.”

“You drive a Kia.”

“I’m the headless driver of a Kia, here to take your soul,” says Erwin gravely. The moment and the internal panic is ruined by the small smile tugging on Erwin’s lips. “I’ll never have to bend to kiss you,” he adds, slightly hesitantly, unsure if it’s his right to that still.

Levi shouldn’t be charmed by that. 

He wonders what it says about him that his response is to shrug and murmur, “You’re making giving head too literal of an expression.”

Erwin laughs at least, a full body laugh that makes his head come off again.

They still end up having sex on their fourth date.

6

WHAT ABOUT THE HEADLESS MEN?????? GOOD QUESTION.

Firstly, the exceptions do not disprove the rule. And constantly calling attention to them is mostly meant to distract away from the point, which is the systematic objectification and dehumanization of female bodies that we are numb to on a daily basis.

Secondly, evaluate the difference between the photos of headless men you see here compared to the headless women. When the men are headless, it’s not mindless, it’s not ordinary, and usually – it is not sexual. His appeal to the opposite gender is not the focus. They are an engaged, unique and clear part of the joke.  (You can argue that certain men are made to feel their bodies are only a joke which can sometimes be harmful – I don’t disagree.)

When it is sexual, like the Deadpool poster, even though he is headless, he is NOT passive. He is an active sexual being, not an object WITH (FOR REAL PEOPLE, SAY IT WITH ME) A GUN. FOR. A. PENIS. – THE LEAST PASSIVE THING A DICK COULD EVER BE– SAYING HE’S GONNA ‘GIVE YOU A LOAD’ HAHAHAHA

I mean seriously dudes with their gun-dicks I die every time.

anonymous asked:

Hello. The biggest thing that is throwing me off is they had brianas grandmother pictured with a baby. Like did the really go as far as hauling around a hired baby?

Oh, anon…have you seen that family? Have you seen what they’ve been doing for months to try and get all the visibility they could? Have you seen they all registered domains with different name combinations and now auctioned the Freddie one for over 25.000 dollars? They have a girl who was never pregnant and posted for weeks headless pictures of expecting women or shady profile pictures with fake bumps. They have had paps daily waiting for them to get out and carry empty carriers around. Said grandmother was the one to announce the birth on IG, do you remember that? Can you believe that?! She was the one leaking club pics of her granddaughter with Louis, just before her own daughter started favoriting wedding and baby related links on twitter. 

Ask yourself the question again: would they go that far? You can probably guess my answer.

shizuos:

Of course you have to look!!” Shinra bustled, sounding insulted that Izaya even have to ask. “Well, I can’t stop you from imagining, but like I said, you have absolutely no chance with Celty. So, really, you can just stew in jealousy for all I care. Anyway, it’s because there are different kinds of each! Some maid outfits are really frilly, some aren’t, should I got for a pink nurse outfit? I mean, those are the standard… there are different lengths too! Look! LOOK!!”

A decision this important was something a single man could not make on his own. He’d finally, finally gotten Celty to agree to wear just one thing and so he immediately set out to writing a list of all his fantasies, finally boiling them out to the two classics. Like Izaya said, it was greatly disturbing that he could imagine his Celty, but certain sacrifices had to be made.

And Shinra really didn’t have anyone else to ask, anyway.

“Hey! You owe me! How many times have I set your bones? That’s right! Come on, Izaya, it’s not like you have any other friends who need your attention right now!”

Izaya couldn’t help but pull a face, annoyed at Shinra’s words. But, well, everything that came out of it made little to no sense most of the time so he didn’t even know why he was surprised. “Oh, believe me, I am okay with that. I wouldn’t dream of it, because unlike you, I am not into headless women,” he paused, thought about that for a second, “I am pretty sure I have made it clear before so no, I am not jealous, don’t be stupid.”

He had only hoped that would be enough for Shinra to go away… 

Eyes narrowing – in hardly disguised disgust – Izaya glanced at the magazine Shinra had put on his desk, then back at the perverted idiot in front of him. “You are really… passionate about this, aren’t you?” For lack of a better term.

“Ah, do I really?” Izaya looked at him tiredly, looking as though he was having a hard time deciding whether or not he did owe Shinra anything at all. “But I’ve always paid you, so why should I? If you really want my help with something, be a dear and kill Shizu-chan for me, ah? Or at least stop being friends with him, that’s disgusting.” 

He stared at Shinra for a second. “Also, if this is the kind of attention I’d be getting, I’m glad I don’t have any more friends.”