headaches music

{ F  E  E  L   T  H  E   V O I D } for the lost souls crawling through hell, the monsters who know nothing of sensation, lonely spirits, bitter gods, and the ones who lost something very important: themselves

“We become aware of the void as we fill it.”           
             ― Antonio Porchia

part i. N U L L  

Dark Father - Sephiroth // Traumkristalle - Nagual Art // At the End of Time - Atrium Carceri // Dark Energy - Silentium Universi // deep depression - IX // null - Mark Hadley // ardor - Shiro Sagisu // discolor - 07th expansion // Cogitatio - Asbaar // Uncertain Affinity - Phaenon // Oracion Nocturna - Hocico // External Control - Phelios // Burning - final 

The only thing I can do is Run

The only thing I can do is love you 

“I Should be the Only One to Kiss You Like That” ~ Park Jimin / Fluff / Slight Angst

Anon asks: Can I request a jimin scenario? Where you and him are friends and one day you and the rest of the boys play truth or dare or something and he confess accidentally? Please? ☆☆☆

Thank you for your ask! It may have slight angst in it but it has a fluffy ending so I hope it’s okay. ^.^

Even over the headache-causing music, they all still heard you stumble in.

They had been practising for hours without rest, the sweat beading from their brow and matting their unstyled hair to their foreheads. They worked diligently even though their dance teacher had called it a night about 3 hours ago. Each one of them was determined to get the dance perfected in time for the showcase, you had to admit that it was truly admirable.

Even though they were all determined, Jimin was something beyond that. He hadn’t stopped moving since you had first come in 5 hours ago and he was still moving now even after you had gone to collect some snacks for the hardworking idols and come back from the store.

You felt almost guilty as you peaked glances at him while he moved so gracefully across the space; shamefully admiring the way his bicep muscles flexed as he performed certain stances and moves, the way he closed his eyes as he felt himself in the music. Everything he did had an essence of grace and beauty, it was captivating to watch.

“(Y/N)!” Hoseok cried, beaming at you warmly.

Jimin looked around, suddenly stopping what he was doing as his eyes scanned the room for you. You looked away quickly after gazing for too long, just hoping he hadn’t seen you staring at him.

“You brought snacks?” Taehyung asked, making his way over to you after helping Seokjin with his dance technique.

You nodded and took a seat on the floor next to Jungkook, turning the plastic bag upside down and emptying the contents on the hardwood. A box of fried chicken and a couple of McDonald’s boxes fell out, earning hungry cries of salvation from the hardworking boys.

“Oh my god, food has never looked this good.” Seokjin mumbled as he hurried over, sitting cross legged in front of the nearest Big Mac box.

Everyone sat down and began to eat, mumbling thank you’s through mouthfuls of chicken and burgers. You, who had already eaten, watched on happily, loving how content the boys looked to finally have some food after working non-stop for so long.

As everybody ate, you couldn’t help but notice that Jimin wasn’t eating anything. Subconsciously you frowned and made your way over to him, crawling on your hands and knees. He acknowledged you and shuffled sideways, allowing you room to sit next to him. He smiled at you brightly but it quickly faded when he saw your frown.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as the other boys talked happily amongst themselves. You pushed a box of fries towards him, just hoping he wouldn’t refuse it. He looked at the box and then back at you, looking slightly sheepish. “My mind’s just on other things, I’m really not hungry.” He said vaguely.

“Please just try and eat something, you’ve been practising so hard all day.”

He skeptically took the box from you and picked out a fry, holding it out to your mouth so you could have one for yourself. You blushed at the random stereotypical romantic gesture, just hoping the blush wasn’t too obvious as you started chewing.

You didn’t see Jimin’s bright smile after you took the fry and Taehyung’s sharp dig in the ribs straight afterwards.

“We should play a game.” Taehyung suggested, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

Everybody seemed to agree, Yoongi just groaned.

“You kids have too much energy, I feel so old around you.”

“Truth or dare? That’s not too active.” Hoseok suggested, bumping his shoulder with Yoongi’s. Yoongi shrugged and leaned against Hoseok’s shoulder, closing his eyes lightly. “I’ll observe.” Yoongi said, his eyes still closed.

When everyone’s attention seemed to be on finding a bottle to place in the middle and spin to pick a player, Jimin thread his arm through yours with as much stealth as possible. You turned to him to find him blushing beetroot red, his eyes cast to the floor and suddenly unable to hold eye contact with you for more than a few seconds. Even though Jimin was the skinship monster, he never seemed bashful about it before today.

“Is everything okay?” You asked quietly, leaning closer to him and speaking in a whisper so no one else overheard your conversation.

He finally looked at you with forced confidence he didn’t feel. “I’m fine, I just wanted to…” He felt that sudden false confidence deteriorate as you sat there, a concerned expression on your face that he couldn’t help but just melt at the sight of.

“I wanted to talk to you.” He spluttered out after a moment of stammering.

You cocked an eyebrow. “What about?”

“-Okay! I’ll spin to see who plays first.” Taehyung called over yours and Jimin’s conversation, alerting your attention back to the game.

You didn’t see it but Jimin shot a warning side glare at Taehyung, who smiled brightly at the group as if he hadn’t seen a thing. He was enjoying the teasing immensely.

Taehyung reached out and took the bottle from the center, giving it a sharp jerk and watching carefully as it eventually landed on Jungkook. Everyone jeered, wondering what secrets or stupid thing they could expose the maknae to.

“I’ll pick truth.” Jungkook mumbled through a mouthful of fried chicken.

Silence fell over the group as everyone deliberated a question. You came up with one first before everyone else did.

“Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Jungkook blushed involuntarily, immediately hiding his face in his hands and wallowing in his embarrassment. Everyone immediately assumed it was a no and began comforting Jungkook who seemed to be going crimson from all the unwanted attention.

“It’s okay, Jungkookie.” Hoseok consoled, giving the younger a gentle pat on the back.

“Yeah, if you wait for it it’ll be even more special.” You began, smiling sadly as you felt the creeping feeling of guilt enter your bones. You decided there was a way to take some of the unwanted attention off of him. “I’ve actually never kissed anyone either.”

No one attempted to hide their surprise, especially not Jimin.

“Really noona?” Jungkook asked, smiling a little after discovering he wasn’t the only one.

You nodded sheepishly, suddenly very aware of the surprised looks you were getting from everyone. Your eyes subconsciously trailed to Jimin who was gaping at you, not even trying to conceal his shocked expression. Bashfully, you looked down the floor and tried not to feel hollowing self pity. You had kept you first kiss for the right person, it wasn’t like people hadn’t wanted to kiss you. Right?

Jimin must have noticed your sadness because as Tae reached out to spin the bottle again, he entwined his fingers with yours, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. He didn’t look at all bashful as he sent you a smile, carefully pulling you closer. You felt immediate relief being comforted by Jimin, but it didn’t last long.

When you looked away from Jimin, you saw the bottle landed on you. Already knowing you’d revealed a secret, you moved to push the bottle towards Taehyung so he could spin again. Tae put his hand over the bottle and placed it back towards the middle, that mischievous smile making its way back onto his lips.

“You have to take a dare now.” He said, earning a low whistle from the group.

Jimin’s grip on your hand tightened.

“I dare you to kiss Jungkook-ah!” Taehyung announced proudly; enjoying the enthusiastic reactions from the rest of the group, everyone but you and Jungkook. If you weren’t mistaken, you could have sworn you saw Tae side eye Jimin out of the corner of his eye.

The maknae shuffled so he was on his knees, pulling on the hem of Seokjin’s shirt looking particularly childlike.


The room erupted with noise and without any signs of warning, you were being eagerly pushed forward, sliding easily on the hardwood floor. Jungkook was shuffling closer, not looking entirely pleased about the situation.

“You don’t have to.” I told him.

He nodded and glanced at his hyungs who were watching on intently.

“I think I do. They’ll kick my ass if I don’t.” You looked away, still not seeing it as a good enough reason to give away your first kiss so easily. You didn’t mind kissing Jungkook, it’s just that your intentions of kissing someone for the first time had been set on someone else.

You could feel glaring in your direction but brushed it off and took another shuffle forward so you and Jungkook were virtually brushing noses. His breath tickled the end of your nose and you don’t remember the last time you had been that physically close to someone before.

You both began to lean in, a sudden eruption of nerves making your palms clammy as you bundled them in the material of your jeans. Jungkook looked relatively relaxed although his fingers were nervously twitching.

Your lips were just brushing against each other’s when you heard Jimin snap angrily at Taehyung, even through the excited commotion of the other members.

“Why would you do that?!”

Jimin was so loud and enraged that the commotion between the other members ceased and all eyes turned to the fighting best friends in the center of the dance practice room.

“Jimin, calm down. I was just trying to help-”

“You pushed it too far!”

Jimin was now roughly pushing Taehyung backwards, making it clear that he was practically seething. Yoongi and Namjoon stood up to restrain him and yanked him backwards away from his best friend, either one of them holding him by the shoulders.

“Dude, seriously-” Namjoon began, attempting to rest a caring hand down on his shoulder which Jimin brushed off immediately with a swift shrug of his shoulders.

“He knows I’m in love with (Y/N) and he was trying to force a reaction out of m-”

He stopped himself short but the words hung in the air, leaving a stale feeling as the members looked at one another in disbelief.

You looked around and backed away from Jungkook slightly, still blushing from the close contact with him. Everyone was silent, finding everywhere to look but at you and Jimin. You were lost in utter confusion, your head now cocking to one side as a bewildered expression spread across your features.

Jimin’s look of complete anger had been abandoned, all his rage quickly dissipating. All he could do was staring lovingly at you. He looked heartbroken and disappointed with himself, like he had just broken you with the confession of his love.

“(Y/N)… I just…”

Your head was whirling, none of this was processing.

You stood without commanding your body to, you walked over to Jimin and you took his hand in yours, pulling him along behind you as you charged out of the practice room. The boys had seen enough angst and personal matters for one day.

“Where are we goi-”

“Anywhere away from that mess.” You replied gently.

You pushed your way through the fire exit door down the hall and closed it behind you so you and Jimin were well and truly alone.

You studied him under the bright light of the entryway, admiring how the light just hit his face at the right angle and complemented the vibrant orange of his hair. He didn’t dare look at you, his gaze was trained on a spot on the floor, his hands pushed deep into the pockets of his sweatpants.

Bravely, you reached out and placed your finger under his chin, lifting his gaze to finally look at you. His eyes were shining and you guessed yours weren’t much better. You let your hands drop to your sides.

“I ruined everything.” He whispered quietly, taking a step closer to you and taking your hands in his, slowly entwining his fingers through yours and pulling you gradually closer.

“No, you didn’t.”

You leaned up, cautiously pressing your lips to his. He froze for a moment, unsure of what he should do next. Instinct took both of you, his hands finding their way to your waist while yours folded at the nape of his neck.

His lips were soft and delicate, the pressure he applied just enough to leave you wanting more and more. He held you so delicately, as if one squeeze too hard would break you. You kissed him with every emotion you had pent up inside you, the smile against your lips indicating he loved how eager you were.

“I should be the only one to kiss you like that.”