head feeding

  • Christine: The Phantom of the Opera is real and he is my teacher!
  • Meg: The Phantom of the Opera is real and he is terrifying!
  • Managers: The Phantom of the Opera is not real but there is definitely some real person being terrifying!
  • Carlotta: THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA IS GOING TO GET HIS ASS BEAT THAT'S WHAT HE IS WHERE IS HE I WILL IMMEDIATELY FIGHT HIM

Your parents are not supposed to yell at you, mock you, ect. for crying, and they’re not supposed to FORCE you to tell them whats wrong if they aren’t the reason you’re crying.

Your parents are not supposed to tell you that you’re lying, overreacting, ect. if you bring up that you think you might have a mental illness / physical illness ect.

Your parents are not supposed to yell at you or tell you “I put a roof over your head” or “I feed you” or “oh well” or anything of the like if you bring up something that they do that upsets you

Your parents are not supposed to scream at you and punish you for making mistakes such as breaking dishes, not doing something right, ect. 

Your parents are not supposed to guilt you when you’re having a hard time by saying “I have it worse than you do” “you wont last 30 seconds out in the real world” ect.

Your parents are not supposed to yell at you to shut up for “talking back” when you were only trying to explain / defend yourself.


All of this is abuse. Parents are NEVER supposed to do these things. If you think your parents are abusing you or you think something is wrong, listen to yourself. Look into abuse. You are not overreacting. Your feelings are valid.
If you are being abused, I love you and always remember that you’ll be out of there soon.

Bangtan Fic Rec Pt. 2

so my second fic rec… this took even longer than the other one ;;
(i really read too much..)
it is again like 90% Yoonmin. and so much fluff! (why???) 

Series:

Head Over Feed (Yoonmin, Smut & Fluff, 3 Works): http://archiveofourown.org/series/563050

kiss kiss, bang bang (Vkook, Yoonmin, Police AU, Smut, 4 Works): http://archiveofourown.org/series/577105

You Shine So Bright (Sugakookie, Angst, Fluff & Smut, 3 Works): http://archiveofourown.org/series/512323

Complete/One Shot:

Love at First Sigh (Yoonmin, Fluff, One Shot): Yoongi and Jimin fall in love with sounds.AU where Yoongi and Jimin have apartments next to each other, and their showers share a wall. https://archiveofourown.org/works/4187631

Our Names (Yoonmin, Fluff, High School AU, One Shot):
“Min Yoongi,” Jimin writes the name over and over in the margins of his notebook. Swirling hearts and flowers around the words. He sighs leaning his elbow against his desk, chin in hand. 
http://archiveofourown.org/works/4460210

The Dutiful Brother and His Sister’s Way Too Handsome Boyfriend (Yoonmin, Fluff, 11/11): Yoongi’s sister Hani is fake-dating Jimin to hide from her mother that she’s gay, but Yoongi doesn’t know this. All Yoongi knows is that he has had a not-so-little crush on Jimin for over a year and that its kinda hard to be a supportive dutiful brother when Jimin is just too blindingly beautiful. http://archiveofourown.org/works/5924095/chapters/14552764

the moon and the stars (Vkook, College AU, One Shot): based off of Real Events that happened to me the other day. i ended up screaming to siobhandestele about it and they told me to write a fic about it. and the word moderation does not exist in my vocabulary so http://archiveofourown.org/works/3736375

Tattooed Heart (Yoonmin, Fluff, One Shot): Five times Yoongi tattoos himself with small things he loves about his boyfriend, and one time Jimin does the samehttp://archiveofourown.org/works/7236649

Severe Weather (Yoonmin, Smut, Demons, One Shot): Min Yoongi has had a very, very long day.So when Yoongi opens the door to his one-room apartment a little after eight in the morning soaking wet, sleep-deprived, and extremely irritated, he isn’t really sure what to think of the man with horns and a tail lying naked in his bed. http://archiveofourown.org/works/7381792

Love, Simply (Yoonmin, Office AU, Angst & Smut, 2/2): Love happens when you least expect it. And sometimes, that isn’t good thing. http://archiveofourown.org/works/6552358/chapters/14990722

Cerulean and Malachite (Sugakookie, Soulmate AU, Fluff & Smut, One Shot): tumblr prompt from anon: “You said you take requests on here on your ao3 and I’m here with a request! How about a SugaKookie soulmates. After that, you can do whatever you want with it, but if you could add some smut, that would be nice. :) Thank you!” http://archiveofourown.org/works/7374217

Stupid Cupid (Sugakookie, Hanahaki Disease, Fluff, One Shot): Min Yoongi literally gets clotheslined by love and he is so, so pissed about it. OR: That time Jeongguk made Yoongi cough up flowers.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/7076281

you should be afraid of me (Yoonmin, Smut, 2/2): Jimin lets him bend him — break him — mould him into any shape Yoongi wants — even likes it more than he admits. But Yoongi knows better than to think he’s the one in control.Because he isn’t. Not really.(Or: Yoongi’s back from a business trip and Jimin has a surprise for him.)  http://archiveofourown.org/works/5346614/chapters/12346127

I’m Glad You’re My First (Yoomin, College AU, Fluff & Smut, One Shot):   Jimin wasn’t a prude, he just liked saving his firsts for everything for someone special. And, that special someone was Min Yoongi.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/5902192

The One With The Hiding (Yoonmin, Fluff, 5+1, 2/2): Five Times That Yoongi And Jimin Aren’t Alone (+1 time they are) (FRIENDS!au)  http://archiveofourown.org/works/7432909/chapters/16884209

Smoke and Mirrors (Yoonmin, Namjin, Light Angst, 8/8): Jimin went out for a night-time walk a few times a week, maybe just to see the man smoking outside. His life was suddenly not so boring, his routine not so strict, and the friendship with his room-mate not so great.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/6660382/chapters/15233809

Watch the Stars With Me (Sugakookie, Namjin, AU, Smut, 11/11): One night, Namjoon brings along a shy but handsome boy named Jungkook to their hangout at the abandoned train station. And as much as Yoongi resists, he can’t help but fall for him.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/6534985/chapters/14950390

Wash Away My Loneliness (Yoonmin, Car Wash AU, Fluff, One Shot): There are a lot of car washes in the area that could do a better job, but not all of them have Park Jimin as an employee. So Yoongi keeps coming back.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/6512506

speed it up so we can slow it down (Yoonmin, Smut/PwP, Daddy!Kink, One Shot): Jimin wants to be more than just Yoongi’s escort but he’s doing a horrible job of telling him and Yoongi really hates Jeon Jungkook.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/7262095

Why Are You Shaking Up My Heart? (Yoonmin, Vhope, Fluff, One Shot):  Taehyung has a huge crush on Hoseok-hyung and gets Jimin to help him out. College AU. http://archiveofourown.org/works/1584590

Working Title (Yoonmin, Fluff, Canon, One Shot): Jimin writes fic. Yoongi doesn’t care. Not at all. Not one bit. Not until he finds the Yoonmin fic. http://archiveofourown.org/works/6188320

Choke and Pull (Yoonmin, Smut, One Shot): Jimin’s favorite part is getting Yoongi out of his Armani suits. http://archiveofourown.org/works/6901021

A Half-Breed and A Prince (Vmon, Supernatural AU, Smut, One Shot): Tumblr prompt from anon: “Vmon. Truth or Dare. Open to interpretation!!” http://archiveofourown.org/works/7029955

I Just Want to Be Your Fantasy,.. (Yoonmin, Vkook, Angst & Smut, 6/6): Jimin was a sex worker who received from one of his clients the proposition of a lifetime.   http://archiveofourown.org/works/7901302/chapters/18048832

we are like parallel lines (Taegi, Bording School AU, One Shot): In which Taehyung confesses to Yoongi and Yoongi believes Taehyung only has a short-lived crush. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8098351

be my bad boy (Sugakookie, PwP, One Shot): If he asks nicely, he’ll get what he wants. If he says ‘please,’ bats his eyelashes, pouts his lips and pours his innocence out before Yoongi, he’ll get what he wants.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/8099905

Emotional Whiplash (Vhope, Side!Yoonminkook, College AU, Fluff & Smut, 3/3): tumblr prompt from anon: “could you please write a fake dating!VHope with smut and eventual feelings? :) http://archiveofourown.org/works/7750933/chapters/17672341

Perfect Is the Sound of You Breaking (Yoonmin, Smut, One Shot): Jimin likes being good, he likes being perfect.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/8147768

Take Me To Church (Yoonmin, Demon!Yoongi, Smut, One Shot): Jimin, much to his chagrin, has a demon called Yoongi living in his bedroom. Things would be easier if Yoongi were a soul sucking monster instead of charming and unfairly hot. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8133215

Butterfingers (Yoonmin, College AU, Fluff & Crack, One Shot): Jimin’s life is no fairytale. But if it was, it’d go something like this. (Or: the AU in which Jimin is cursed to drop whatever he’s holding every time he sees the person he loves) http://archiveofourown.org/works/7848391

Choker (Yoonmin, PwP & Fluff, One Shot): The boys have a shooting for their upcoming exhibiton and Jimin has a little surprise for his boyfriend. It’s the first time he has to wear a choker and he is eager to hear Yoongi’s opinion. The older actually can’t wait to return to the privacy of their hotel room, to show Jimin just how much he appreciates his surprise. http://archiveofourown.org/works/6060760

All Hallows’ Eve (Sugakookiemon, Threesome, Smut, Vampires, One Shot): Jeongguk’s lovers invite old flames to their All Hallows’ Eve dinner party, so naturally he tries to make them jealous by getting friendly with his favourite cousin. http://archiveofourown.org/works/7625926

Shall We Date? (Yoonmin, College AU, Fluff, One Shot): Jimin just wants to stay home and play games, but his roommate has other ideas. Or: 4 times Taehyung sets Jimin up on a terrible blind date and 1 time it isn’t so bad. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8243353

I’ll Be Your Lighthouse (Yoonmin, Fluff, Light Angst, AU, One Shot): Jimin would rather be drawing, hidden away from his friends and family up in the old abandoned lighthouse in the bay than anywhere else. But he finds he liked it better with the smell of smoke lingering in the air and the echo of a flickering lighter against the walls. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8314147

Take A Picture, It’ll Last Longer (Sugakookie, Fluff, Restaurant AU, 2/2): It’s not that he thinks Jungkook is attractive…he just really wants to have the weekend off. —In which Yoongi has been friends with Hoseok for years, so he should have known this bet would be stupid.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/6891376/chapters/15722098

Knight (Yoonmin, Fluff & Smut, Royalty AU, 2/2): In which Jimin is a Prince, and Yoongi is his personal bodyguard that would do anything for him. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8108881/chapters/18584245

Burn It Up (Yoonmin, ABO Dynamics, Smut, 2/2):  http://archiveofourown.org/works/8431141/chapters/19315885

transatlanticism (Sugakookie, Dystopia AU, Angst, One Shot): jungkook lives in the day. yoongi lives at night.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/8419870

pretty (odd) (Yoonmin, College AU, Fluff, One Shot): in which min yoongi is a librarian and he happens to fall deeply in love with park jimin, the regular who’s in love with literature just a little too much.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/8544172

light me up (Yoonmin, Side!Vhope, College AU, Fluff, One Shot): He’s already taking a deep breath when he hears someone twisting the doorknob. “Jung Hoseok, I have a bone to pick with you, you absolute asshole,” he starts. It is not Jung Hoseok.Definitely not. Min Yoongi.Jimin coughs awkwardly into his fist. “Hello,” he finishes. (In which Jimin has a crush, yells a lot, and maybe falls into like.) http://archiveofourown.org/works/8572666

whatta man (good man) (Vkook, College AU, Smut, Fluff & Crack, One Shot):  Out of all the kinds of blogs Jeon Jeongguk could have run, never in a million years Taehyung would have expected him to have a porn blog. (Or, Jeongguk runs a porn blog and Taehyung not so accidentally finds it.) http://archiveofourown.org/works/7862419

accidents were made to happen (Yoonmin, College AU, Humor & Fluff, One Shot): au where jimin replies to the wrong conversation and is generally Very Embarrassing for everyone. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8470597

per angusta ad augusta (Sugakookie,  Modern AU, Fluff & Crack, One Shot):  In which Yoongi is an interior designer and Jungkook is a kid who’s looking for a job. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8667850

It’s your Birthday but you’re my Gift (Yoonmin, Childhood Friends, Fluff, 5/5):  Yoongi celebrates 5 birthdays with Jimin over the course of 20 years.(aka Yoongi growing up with Jimin only to realise he’s falling for his childhood friend). http://archiveofourown.org/works/8353387/chapters/19135300

blow my heart up (Yoonmin, Smut, One Shot): Yoongi really likes the look in Jimin’s eyes when he’s getting told off for making mistakes.(warnings: spanking, slight dom/sub, light breathplay, orgasm denial, praise kink) http://archiveofourown.org/works/5477006

hot mess (Taegi, Angst & Smut, AU, 3/3): Taehyung thinks Yoongi is cute in the fuckable way. Yoongi thinks Taehyung is an asshole. http://archiveofourown.org/works/7920865/chapters/18099688

playboy (show me all your secrets) (Vhope, Smut & Crack, One Shot): Hoseok still doesn’t know how he became Taehyung’s sex life teacher. Crack and porn ahead. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8943775

the art of the plug (Yoonmin, Smut, One Shot): In which Jimin likes to plug himself up on his days off and Yoongi accidentally finds out about it, a story. 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9031841

A&E (Sugakookie, Hospital AU, Angst, Fluff & Mild Smut, 12/12): Where Min Yoongi is a second year resident at the Seoul National University Hospital working in the A&E and has absolutely no time or heart to tend to the rich and pompous but is forced to re-evaluate a lot of his life choices when he meets Jeon Jungkook. http://archiveofourown.org/works/6986689/chapters/15920692

In Progress:

Nyctophile (Yoonmin, Namjin, Vkook, Fantasy AU, 15/?):
"Like I said, monsters aren’t real, Taehyung.” Jimin quickly pulled the closet doors open. At the bottom of the closet, sitting on the floor and leaning heavily against the walls, was a man with dark pink hair clad in dark clothes, bleeding and injured and looking positively close to death. Jimin didn’t know what to do. http://archiveofourown.org/works/6485242/chapters/14843164

listen to my heartbeat (Yoonmin, Wrong Number AU, 7/?):  http://archiveofourown.org/works/7922026/chapters/18102742

Conflicting Arrangement (Yoonmin, Fake Boyfriend, 10/?):  http://archiveofourown.org/works/8682229/chapters/19903354

i know you wanna go to heaven (Vkook, Yoonmin, Werewolf AU, Smut, Fluff & Angst, 12/?): Taehyung just thought it would be a one night stand, but he gets more than he bargained for. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8083003/chapters/18521551

Bring On The Sunshine (Yoonmin, Single Parent!Yoongi, Kid!V, Fluff, 8/?): With the help of their five year old “matchmaker” Taehyung, Yoongi and Jimin stumble into each other’s lives. Cue the awkward, messy pining and dating adventures with a noisy kid in their way. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8110213/chapters/18587476

The Melting King (Yoonmin, Fantasy AU, Romance & Smut, 2/?): The Ice King, who was a cold and cruel man, had no other interests but to find and own pieces of art and beautiful things. He wanted to conquer everything, he wanted to rule over everyone and take other peoples’ treasures for himself. That is why he went to war against the Deserts of the South, which he won swiftly and with his usual aplomb. There he looked for the most beautiful thing he could find to take home with him and marvel at its beauty.What he found was the Dancer. Or did the Dancer find him? http://archiveofourown.org/works/8359147/chapters/19148641

A is for Apple, Z is for Zombie (Yoonmin, Zombies AU, Mild Gore, 5/?): In a world where zombies run rampage and humans are trapped like cattle, Yoongi has unease and anger eating away at him, has lost almost everything to the undead; perhaps to the monsters living inside of him as well.So when Yoongi was lying on the pavement, cold and his life slipping away, a stranger appearing out of nowhere and giving him a choice to die or become one of them, what do you think he chose?http://archiveofourown.org/works/8616211/chapters/19756579

The Office (Yoonmin, Office AU, Fluff, 19/?): Yoongi is new to the company, and his first day there he may have accidentally fallen for the team’s favorite darling by the name of Park Jimin. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8054920/chapters/18453763

Pride, Prejudice and More (Yoonmin, Vkook, Namjin, AU, 28/?): In which Jimin cannot decide if he loves or hates Min Yoongi;Seokjin tries not to, but has his heart broken; And Taehyung constantly surprises everyone. http://archiveofourown.org/works/7291390/chapters/16558099

It feels like there’s Oceans (Taegi, Angst, AU, 3/?): Neverland is just a story. Yoongi had to find out the hard way. http://archiveofourown.org/works/7701709/chapters/17548003

I Wrote this for you (Yoonmin, Vkook, Angst, AU, 5/?): Jeon Jungkook is a frustrated reader who just wants to have a decent conversation with his newly proclaimed favorite author, an up-and-coming young adult novelist Min Yoongi, and maybe force out the ending of his cliffhanging heartbreaking motherfucking breakthrough debut novel. http://archiveofourown.org/works/7693393/chapters/17527393

the end. (let’s read some more :’D)

The Signs as Wild World Lyrics

Aries - Chaos is raining down around us, but here we stand with our arms folded // Way Beyond

Taurus - I’ve got nostalgia running through me, and I don’t like it // Winter of Our Youth

Gemini - I’m the lesser of two evils, or am I? Am I tricking myself nice? // Two Evils

Cancer - When it feels like I’m lost at sea, you’re the song I sing again and again // The Anchor

Leo - I’ve got demons running round in my head, and they feed on insecurities I have // Send Them Off!

Virgo - It must be so lonely, knowing what you know // Campus

Libra - I can’t believe the scary points you make, still living in the currents you create // The Currents

Scorpio - Deafen me with music ‘till we’re lost in the heat of the moment // Warmth

Sagittarius - Now these days are feeling dark; we’re struggling to figure out last year // Snakes

Capricorn - Did you really think I’d fall to my knees just to pray for some sweet simplicity? // Power

Aquarius - You make me laugh until I die; can you think of any better way to choke? // Glory

Pisces - So many people pass me by, but you warm me to my core and you left me wanting more // An Act of Kindness

A Family Affair
  • *Angelo's*
  • Molly's Date: *raises his glass* To us.
  • Molly: *smiles; lifts her glass* To us *clinks his*
  • Molly's Date: *nods at Angelo* A mate of yours?
  • Molly: *turns away; waves* Oh, yeah, he's friends with...someone I know *turns back* So...where were-
  • Sherlock: *suddenly next to them; exasperated* Sorry I'm late...may I join you?
  • Molly: ...
  • Molly's Date: *frowns* Excuse me?
  • Molly: *rolls her eyes* Edward, this is Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock, Edward Castle *mutters* Sherlock is my soon-to-be-ex husband.
  • Molly's Date: *raises an eyebrow* You never told me you were married.
  • Sherlock: *pulls up a chair; smug* Ah, first date. Remember ours, dear?
  • Molly: *narrows her eyes* Where are the kids?
  • Molly's Date: *splutters his drink* Wait, you have kids? Plural? As in...more than one?
  • Molly: *still looking at Sherlock* Yes. Where are they?
  • Sherlock: *thinking* Hmm...one is out solving a crime probably, teenagers, I'm sure I left the twins downstairs with Mrs. Hudson, John and Mary wanted the toddler practice and Mycroft is babysitting the, erm, baby.
  • Molly's Date: *alarmed* Jesus, how many have you got?
  • Sherlock & Molly: *glance at each other* Five.
  • Molly's Date: *confused* Well, then...why are you splitting up?
  • Molly: *smiles* The sex was crap.
  • Sherlock: *chuckles; takes her wine glass* Now, Molly, give him an excuse he'll believe *raises the glass to the light*
  • Molly's Date: *looking between them* What's going on?
  • Sherlock: *sighs* Does the name Julia Smith mean anything to you?
  • Molly's Date: *shakes his head*
  • Sherlock: Nooo *sniffs the glass* You never get to know their names first, do you? Did you know she was fifteen years old?
  • Suspect: ...
  • Sherlock: Her mother hired me to investigate her attack. Dinner at a restaurant with someone she met in a chatroom... *dips his finger in the wine glass* I don't think I need to tell you the rest *tentatively tastes the liquid*
  • Molly: *calm* You see, while you're sat here with me, the police are raiding your flat and, well...I don't think you're getting away this time.
  • Suspect: *fuming* You have no right-
  • Sherlock: *fuming* Our eldest is the same age. It is taking all my willpower not to force you to drink this and leave you at the mercy of my girls. Far worse than anything I could do to you.
  • Greg: *enters Angelo's; approaching their table* Come on, Castle. You have the right to remain silent... *leads the suspect away*
  • Molly: *holds Sherlock's hand* It's okay...we got him.
  • Sherlock: *nods* Too late *sighs* That was...good.
  • Molly: Not bad for an amateur, eh? *pats his knee* Come on, let's round up the troops.
  • Sherlock: *smiles* Thank you for helping me.
  • Molly: *grins* What would you do without me? *kisses him*
  • Sherlock: *takes her hand* Don't make me think about that.
  • MEANWHILE
  • John: *running his hands through his hair* For God's sake, Will...put that down.
  • Baby Holmes: *grinning; rips open the bag of flour*
  • John: *high-pitched* Don't you dare! Where did you even get-
  • Baby Holmes: *throws the flour at him*
  • Mary: *returns from the bathroom; examing one of Sherlock's shirts* I think I got most of it out *looks up, sees John covered in flour; stifling giggles* What happened?
  • John: *glares at her* About this baby of ours...
Seventeen scenario (fluff)

seventeen reacting to cuddling

wonwoo- wonwoo would drag you into bed with him and squeeze you till he fell asleep and lose his grip your face still pressed agains his chest and you would hear his light snores and it would be very cute.

vernon- vernon would put his hands around your waist and pull you close to him and he would give you cheeky kisses and giggle every now and then and he would have a smile plastered to his face the whole time.

scoup- coups would cuddle with you and him snuggled under a blanket and he would let you rest your head on his shoulder as he would put his arm around you and rest his head on your and feed you popcorn.

mingyu- mingyu would be like a little puppy but as soon as you layed down to cuddle he would settle down and lie down facing you just smiling the whole time and you would always tell him to stop staring and then he’d say i like staring a beautiful things though ahhbbisk

seungkwan- seungkwan wouldn’t really like cuddling but you would alway cuddle him while he was asleep and he’d wake up and realise what you were doing but since it was you he wouldn’t mind and he would just sleepily smile and wrap his arms around you and giggle a little

woozi- woozi would cuddle you any chance he got and he would constantly kiss your forehead and tell you how special you were to him and how much he loves you and would squeeze you really tightly

jeonghan- jeonghan would love to cuddle but he would always fuss about making sure your comfortable and then as soon as you were all settled down he’d have to go to to the toilet but when he’d get back he wouldn’t care and just snuggle you no matter what ahhh

dk- he’d cuddle you lots but mostly when he’s jealous of something and he would playfully tell you things like ‘your mine’ and ‘you’ll never escape mwahaha’ then giggle and pull you closer to him and kiss all over your head

joshua- joshua would like to sit on the couch and cuddle while watching your favourite tv show *which he wouldn’t like* but he’d watch it just to be with you and he’d always say things like ‘your much prettier than her’ then squeeze you a little

the8- minghao would be a cuddly teddy bear when hes half asleep and he would pull you into bed with so you just cuddle and be next to each other and he would occasionally drool and you would giggle and wake him up slightly but then you’d whisper to him to go to sleep and he would but first he would pull you closer to him

jun- jun would be shy to cuddle at first but as soon as he started he wouldn’t be able stop and he would constantly cuddle you and give you kisses here and there and act like a cute little hedgehog

dino- dino would be too shy to cuddle so he’d try by resting his head on your shoulder and then in your lap and you would comb his hair and tell him how cute he was being then after a while he would cuddle you nonstop

hoshi- hoshi would giggle non stop every time you cuddled and would say stuff like ‘your so cute’ then giggle more and he would do stuff like bopping your nose and like kissing your forehead

Learn Iyawo ~ The Twelve Steps Process is important for you!

No, we are not talking here about an AA (Alcoholic Anomymous) like program. What I call the Twelve Steps Process is more like a spiritual tune up every iyawó should have throughout their year in white. The process consists of twelve obo orí eledás or Head Feedings also known as Prayers over the Head. Although simple, the ritual is of great importance as it provides not only an opportunity to balance the head of the iyawó with the growing energies of the orisha that has just been seated, cool and cleansed the iyawó from any negativities attracted, but also, it provides for a time for communication and learning between the initiate and initiators.

About the Head Feeding:

Ideally the ceremony should be done every month on the same date that the Kariosha happened, thus if someone got initiated on the 12th of the month, every month thereafter the iyawó should meet with the godparent on the same day or within 7 days following that date. The duty of performing the ceremony every month falls upon the oyugbonakán or the main godparent, depending on how the godparent wants to do this. For this ritual the iyawó needs to bring the following items:

  1. Two candles (itana melli)
  2. Two coconuts (obi melli)
  3. A $21 fee
  4. Cotton (ou)
  5. Cascarilla (efún)
  6. Cocoa butter (orí)
  7. Honey (oyín o oñí)
  8. Smoked fish and Jutía (ecú eyá)–optional in some houses
  9. A white large handkerchief (ashó fun fun)
  10. Two white plates

This is how the process goes, the iyawó presents these materials to the godparent and the godparent will take care of preparing the coconuts which will broken down on two sets of Obí for divination and the rest will be peeled (no black rind) and grated. The godparent will then prepare the mixture and set the altar space for the iyawó.

The process in itself is a great opportunity for the iyawó to learn the mechanics of one of the most basic ceremonies that any olosha should know by heart. Thus, a wise godparent will take care to explain the steps and show the iyawó how things are organized. The process will be learned by repetition as there are 12 opportunities for the iyawó to observe, ask questions and memorize.

I have seen many iyaloshas and babaloshas ask of their iyawós to bring the coconuts already segmented into two sets of obí and already grated. Shame on you for being so lazy! Part of the ashé of the godparent is to do this process with their very own hands (they are also charging a fee, then it is not right to ask others to do the work). It shows sincere care and allows for the transference of energies from the hands of the godparent to the head of the godchild. Besides it is a waste of a great teaching opportunity face-to-face.

I remember many interesting conversations about the importance of this ritual, and the impact of the ritual on me as months rolled by, all of these shared with my elders while they prepared the materials. Granted, some people do not like to talk during the preparation for a ritual, but this is an exception they could make to create a learning environment for the iyawó.

After the Head Feeding:

Iyawós, your relationship with your godparents will be developed not only by what they dictate onto you, but also based on the actions you take. Thus, if you ask your godparents to spend at least half an hour talking with you after the Head Feeding is done, you will develop a healthy routine of communications and a time and space where you can share your developments, concerns and questions with your elders.

There are some houses where the iyawó learns nothing during their first year. I see no reason to keep a godchild from learning for a year. The time shared during this ritual is indeed an opportunity to instruct the iyawó on basic materials to memorize. The iyawó should also be tested during subsequent conversations to ensure that the initiate is indeed taking time to reinforce lessons learned on the prior month.

What to teach the iyawó during their first year? That is a question that each babá and iyá should pose themselves before they do kariosha to an individual and not one I will address in this short essay as it is more geared to the iyawó. Needless to say those godparents must to be ready not only for the spiritual birth, but also, to rear their children and to use the time of the year in white wisely and efficiently.

Learn iyawó, keep up the steps prescribed for your year in white, use opportunities to learn wisely and always keep communications going with your godparents. Oh, and every time you meet with them, have a notebook and pen in hand so you can take notes and review them later.

5

Whatever you do, you do not shoot Colin Firth in the head, you just don’t.

I loved that movie a lot more than I’m probably supposed to. Shit.