head bashed

anonymous asked:

How do you like.. Play dark souls. I spend 10 minutes dying then quit and start jumping off cliffs because some advice written in the rock told me to.

Man, this is kinda hard for me to answer because honestly? I just bashed my head so hard against Bloodborne that I never faced any challenges afterwards (I do not recommend this style of learning as it pained me greatly) so I hope these tips can help you

  1. Dont ever feel bad for dying. Yes, I know it sucks but it’s not a Game Over or a “You Suck”. Dying isn’t telling you that you’re bad, it’s telling you “You did something wrong so go learn how to do it right.”. 
  2. If you die, figure out what went wrong. Did you dodge at the wrong time? Did you get overzealous and attack the enemy at the wrong time? Dark Souls is a game about waiting it out and finding the window of opportunity.
  3. Off of that, dont feel bad for taking things slow. If anything, that’s what you should do. Getting impatient and rushing ahead is the cause of most deaths. This game punishes impatience.
  4. if you get frustrated, sit down and just calm yourself because the second most dangerous thing after impatience is getting frustrated.
  5. When it comes to enemies, try not to take on more than one at a time. Draw enemies with bows or getting to the very edge of their aggro range. While it is possible to take on multiple enemies, that’s for when you feel more confident.
  6. If a weapon is STRONGER but you dont like its moveset/frames then do not use it. It’s worth it to use a weapon you enjoy the feel of than one thats just stronger.
  7. It’s worth it to stay Hollow at times, the only perks to being human is online play. That said, if you struggle with bosses then try going human and seeing if you can find a summon. Never feel bad for summoning NPCs or other players for help.

In short: Take your time. Slow down. Look for enemy patterns like how and when they attack and how long in between attacks you have. While it is a pretty hard game, it become incredibly easy once you learn how enemies work.

since it’s hanukkah and people might be paying attention to jewish people for once, some stuff to note

  • don’t call a jewish person a jew unless you know they’re okay with being called that
  • antisemitism is still very real (you’d be surprised how many people ‘forget’ this)
  • goyim (or gentile) means non-jewish people, goy is singular.
  • undermining and erasing jewish traditions is antisemitism
  • if you say to ‘get over the holocaust’ or anything along those lines i will come over and bash your head in with our spare menorah
  • Don’t tell someone they can’t be Jewish because “they don’t look like a Jew.” That’s not for you to decide.

EDIT: this post is going around again and i’m not really sure why. i know it isn’t hanukkah, this was made last year. and some jewish people don’t like being called jews because the word jew is often used in a negative light (“jew nose”, “greedy jew”, etc) and we don’t like goyim saying those things.

4

Audrey Jensen + weapons

Strengths and weaknesses
  • Yuuri: Victor, what are your strengths?
  • Victor: I fall in love easily.
  • Yuuri: Okay..What are your weaknesses?
  • Victor: You, everything about you from the way you skate to those beautiful eyes of yours that seem to be always pulling me in
  • Yuuri: ////
  • Victor: ;)

Leafpool: Mothwing is so beautiful and intelligent and pretty and wonderful and beautiful and sweet and kind and nice and beautiful. Did i mention she’s beautiful? Gosh I wish I knew what was going on in that beautiful golden head of hers i worry about her so much. She’s so amazing though and such a good medicine cat shes going to do great things. And she’s just so gorgeous she my best most closest friend.

Also Leafpool: Wow this Crowfeather guy is kind of a jerk I want to stay away from him as much as possible he probably hates me anyway and he just glares at me all the time and how can Cinderpelt think I like him?? He’s rude and awful

Crowfeather: *saves Leafpool’s life* I love you

STILL Leafpool: Yeah I think I love you too. 

maggie greene had to watch her father get beheaded, her sister’s dead body carried out when she was expecting a reunion, get on her knees while having pregnancy problems as her husband’s head was being bashed with a bat till he died, and the first thing she says after she gets up is to fight back

if that doesn’t give you motivation to work harder well sHIT i don’t know what will

hockeystix  asked:

zimbits. “Less homicidal thoughts about your annoying coworker right now, please. I’m in a meeting over here.” pLEASE

Charlie asked for this about 30 years ago but I’m just getting around to it now. It’s prompt from this list. 


If he thinks I’m going to let a single tart anywhere near his ruinous Trump-sized hands he’s got another thing coming. Actually, no. He can have as many tarts as he wants. Kill ‘em with kindness, and arsenic worked into the whipped cream. I’d have to add more vanilla to balance it out but–

If Jack wasn’t in a sponsorship meeting, he would be inclined to promptly bash his head into the wood of the table. It had been like this for a few weeks ago, a voice filtering in at the most inopportune times, going on diatribes against who he was presuming was the voice’s coworker (”–even the way he counts out change is annoying. The Lord is testing me. We should’ve kept the antique register, it would have hurt more when I ‘accidentally’ shut the drawer on his fingers that he just licked to count out the bills. Yes, I would LOVE my spit covered change. THANK YOU.”)

Unfortunately, Jack thought it was unlikely that NIKE would appreciate their new brand ambassador actively giving himself a concussion, so he shot the representative across the table a smile and nodded to whatever was being said before reverting back inside his head.

As ambitious as your assassination attempt is, if you could keep it to yourself I would appreciate it.

There wasn’t even a moments pause before he got his reply.

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Spy/Agents

Your otp are both secret agents. What a calamity. 

  • Who whispers the Mission Impossible theme tune on an actual mission, who shoots them a look of upmost disbelief. 
  • Who is the new recruit who always manages to do something wrong, who rolls their eyes but helps them in secret, never taking any of the credit.
  • When your otp have children, who tells them stories of all the missions they went on, who interrupts with “then I swopped in and saved the day!”. Bonus: “thats not what happened, don’t listen to them” “ummm yes it–” “you were unconscious literally the whole time.” “…you make a good point”
  • When your otp, who aren’t together, end up trapped in a very small space together (air vent etc) who suggestively wiggles their eyebrows, who repeatedly bashes their head against the wall and cant believe their bad luck. 
  • Who’s the brains, who’s the muscle. OT3 bonus: “Wait what does that make me?” “you’re… well, you’re you.”
  • Who makes funny faces behind their boss when their next mission is being explained, who is trying really damn hard not to laugh.
  • Who takes their job very seriously and seldom shows any emotion let alone smiles, who’s the joker and makes it their mission to entertain them. 

Requested by: anon. 

Last night I asked people to guess my favorite Hetalia character and at least 60 pple guessed BUT NOT A SINGLE PERSON GUESSED CHINA I’m so sad!!!! 

He threw a tantrum and bashed his head against a wall and the wall crumbled!!! He is smol but strong and adores cute things!!! He repeatedly hit an ancient dragon with a Hello Kitty plush!! HE. HAS. A. PONY. TAIL. CMON NOW GUYS

Blind

Member: Jisoo/Joshua
Genre: Smut
Word count: 3,937 of Father forgive me


All it took was a simple snap. Like a string pulled taut, everything was fragile, fragile, fragile. You hated it. Every glance, every smile, every word made you breathless. You wanted it. The way he moved gracefully or how the droplets of sweat sticking to his brow caused shivers to run up and down your spine. You needed it.

And by God, you were going to get it, even if it were to be the very last thing you did.

Unfortunately, Jisoo was oblivious. He was a kind person, that’s for sure, but he was just so… blind. Honestly, you really just wanted to bash your head against a wall at times. You knew that he didn’t pick up on many things, but maybe some of the fault also rested on you as well. As badly as you wanted to show him, you knew you couldn’t, especially with him surrounded by the other members. Maybe they were the problem.

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Ravenclaws are often perceived as “boring” by other houses…but it’s really just that their passions are narrow and incredibly deep. If it’s a certain genre they’re into, for example, or a branch of science, or even a particular fashion trend, you’d better believe they know e v e r y t h i n g about the thing they love. 

Their minds are always full and bright with new ideas, connections and areas of interest. 

If they seem boring, it’s because their worlds are internal and the joy they derive from the simplest of things might seem like academia to those whose heads aren’t in the same place.