he-taught-me-how-to-live

What the gang taught me...

Darry: He taught me that it’s okay to be serious when you need to be, and that it’s okay to grow up and be mature as long as you don’t take the things in your life for granted. 
Sodapop: He taught me how to live. I’ve been an absolute mess, I’ve gone through so many hard things and he taught me that all these bad things don’t define you. He taught me how to laugh and that sometimes the happiest people are actually the saddest.
Ponyboy: I’m sure everyone got this lesson, but he taught me to appreciate the little things. He also taught me that there is beauty everywhere, and love in places that you never really expected.
Steve:To stick by your buddies and be there when they need you, and in return they’ll have your back too.
Two-Bit: To keep that bit of innocence in me, to keep laughing and joking and not to take everything too seriously… he also taught me that loyalty is everything and that it’s okay to have beer for breakfast sometimes. (or in my case, an extremely big glass of wine)
Johnny: This greaser inadvertently taught me that innocence doesn’t stay. It does get taken away from you, but, that you should live your life in the fullest way possible. Leave your neighbourhood, explore, spread your wings, because your life can be taken away from you before you can blink. 
Dally: I can thoroughly understand Dally and all his flaws, he is the character that reminds me a lot of myself… he taught me that it is okay to be tough and to pretend like nothing can hurt you, but in saying that, he also taught me that it’s okay if I can’t be that way. He taught me that at the end of the day, it’s best to be open with your feelings instead of keeping them locked up inside of you. 

The main lesson I learnt from this book was that it’s okay not to “stay gold”, because eventually we all grow up. We all go through obstacle’s that mold us into entirely different people. But also “staying gold” doesn’t always mean staying innocent or pure. 

He resurrected a part of my soul that I thought was dead and gone. He broke the writers block that silenced and tormented my creative mind and passionate soul for many years. He forced me to see my own dark side that was desperately fighting to come out and meet daylight. He helped me overcome lifelong insecurities by confrontation and acknowledgement instead of burying them and acting as if they never existed, because they did exist. He taught me how to live with the demons that once gnawed at my soul and made my very existence an impossible one. He also made me feel terrible by opening my eyes to the truth–especially my own shameful truths. I saw myself in such a light that I could finally accept the mistakes I once refused to own–a necessary step forward in healing. It wasn’t until then that I was able to see myself as being worthy of forgiveness or peace–in fact, I owed it to myself to continue living. He looked out for my best interests no matter how controlling it may have seemed at times. He knew what I didn’t need to do and he knew who I didn’t need in my life. I came to know that I did indeed need the Devil in my life and he did in fact need me. Out of all the seemingly small obstacles and defective parts of myself that I learned to overcome and embrace, I take the most comfort and pride in knowing that I taught him a thing or two in our short time together. Deep in my heart, I believe this to be true::What other selfless and unconditional act could better fit the description of how he has treated me, if not love? I feel that this is in it’s own little way…the deal I made with the Devil. Even if I never see him again, I owe him nothing–though, I will always love him.

You taught me what love is.
He taught me how to truly love someone.

You taught me how to cry myself to sleep.
He taught me how to wipe those tears away.

You taught me how to bury my smiles.
He taught me how to smile and laugh again.

You taught me that I wasn’t good enough.
He taught me that I am worth it.

You taught me to hate myself.
He taught me to love myself again.

You taught me what death feels like when still alive.
He taught me how to live once again.

You loved me coz I was young and beautiful.
He will love me even when I’m not young and beautiful.

You loved me when I was whole and unbroken.
He loves me though I’m shattered to bits and completely broken.

You left me even when I loved you so much like nobody else ever will.
He stayed even though he knows a part of me still loves you.

Memoir.

Characters: Dean, Reader and mention of Sammy.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Major character death and angst.

A/N: This is for @kittenofdoomage‘s Summer Lovin’ Challenge. I was a super bitch when i wrote this, summer is supposed to be fun not full of tears, there’s the fucking ocean for that. I’m sorry in advance. Anyway, thank you so much to Beth @avengersimagifics and Tia @tia58 for being absolute sweethearts and betaing this. Also, let me know what y’all thought. I hope everyone enjoys xx

Prompt: “Flying kites”

Originally posted by starklaheynwinchester

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I do not hate him, but I think everyone knows I have been a completely different person since we broke up. Do I like it? Idk. Am I truly myself right now? Idk. But what I do know, is the reason I am a completely different person, is because a part of me was lost in him. Actually.. ALL of me was lost in him. Gosh I loved that kid. I can’t lie, I still do. A part of me still holds out hope for us getting back together, because trying to move on from that goofball has proved to be nearly impossible. I’ve been moping over the break-up for longer than the actual relationship lasted. That’s kind of a wake up call for me.

I do not hate him, even if I impulsively say I do sometimes. Truth be told, I hate myself for screwing up the bond me and him shared. But I have to move on. I have to forgive myself. I can’t carry out my life begging someone to come back, especially if they do not want to.

I do not hate him. I am actually so thankful for every moment I shared with him. I’m very glad it happened.
Even though he’s ruined many holidays, songs, movies, places for me. And even though seeing a limousine, or driving passed the place we took homecoming pictures has the power to make me instantly burst into tears.
Even if I will never be able to return to Six Flags..
I do not hate him.

I’m thankful for him breaking my heart, or rather me breaking my own heart.
I’m thankful for him teaching me many things,
like how to put the blade down,
how to not take things for granted,
how to play hockey,
how to concur fears of roller coasters,
how eating in front of a boy is perfectly fine,
how to accept love.. even if it only lasts a little less than 5 months.

He taught me that no matter how many text messages are sent, how many pictures are posted, tweets are tweeted (or drafted), and no matter how long and loud you scream & sob someone’s name in your pillow at 3 in the morning.. They do not always come back.

But most of all, he taught me how to live without him. That’s something I thought I would never be able to do. Some days I wake up and I’m still surprised, that my life can go on without the man I love, the man that kept me going for so long when all I wanted to do was give up.

He stood beside me & carried me, when I did not deserve it at all.
He made me feel loved, worthy, beautiful,
when I thought I would never feel that again.
He made me have this smile.. that only he could make. That was true happiness.
And for that I am thankful.

And even though I do not hate him,
He is still on my mind,
every day,
and every night.
Sneaking into my dreams occasionally.
Making my heart ache more than anything.
And I do hate that.

—  Aimlessly rambling about “The One That Got Away”.. I miss him.