he-literally-exploded-in-front-of-me

anonymous asked:

What i'm trying to say is that you can still be a strong Queer person without putting yourself into intentionally uncomfortable places. You owe it to yourself and to your mental well being to keep your self in as good a place as possible and fear of judgmental relatives is enough to stress anyone out. Dont beat yourself up babe. I still believe you are strength and bravery and star stuff. Xoxo MF

I just don’t understand how I can literally stand in front of crowds of people and say how queer I am, how in support i am a of LGBTQA + rights I am and then suddenly when at a small dinner party my anxiety and adrenaline gets up to where it’s pouring out of me. And I just kept it in and then to make matters worse I exploded at my father when we got home and he gave me whatfor which made matters worse and again and again I felt like four year old me, hiding in the hallway with my arms wrapped around myself , so afraid to talk afraid to move. How brave is that? how strong or determined or courageous?