he-just-addresses-her-as-such

anonymous asked:

same anon, one last time, more of a post script - I really love the fact that the cut on her face is still bleeding, and she cares not at all. face wounds sting, and the fact that she's just so "eh" about it is just so glorious. I appreciate that Ganon is also not addressing it. I wonder if it's like psychological chicken - Ganon is thinking "first one to acknowledge it loses"...even better if Zelda honestly has forgotten about it...

It’s so cool that you noticed this. I put a lot of thought into how to manage that.

From Zelda’s perspective, Ganondorf is still VERY dangerous. If he sees weakness in her, their power balance will be at risk and everything that she is trying to establish could be in jeopardy. She doesn’t acknowledge the cut to show him her determination and strength.

From Ganondorf’s side of things, he’s still trying to decide what he wants to do. He has gone along with her offer so far because of curiosity more than anything else. He’s trying to figure out why the kiss they shared seemed so significant since he has no memories of ever having anything between the two them but war. He ignores the cut to see what Zelda does about it on her own. To see if she asks for help or puts her own comport before the peace talks. He’s trying to figure her out.

august 1 2015:
the diary of a teenage girl | 2015 | dir. marielle heller | USA | 102 min

saw this movie squished on a couch in the second row at cinefamily, our favorite cinematheque. this film, based on the book by phoebe gloeckner, opens up with a gratuitous shot of minnie getz’s ass before cutting to her face, a smug, nervous smile plastered across her face, as her voiceover proclaims: “i just had sex today. holy shit.” minnie’s voice-recorded diary takes us through the loss of her virginity with her mom’s boyfriend (are they in love? is monroe just staying with her mom so he can see her?) and her subsequent sexual awakening like no other film. it’s unapologetic of her actions, it addresses the intense emotional consequences without punishing her, and it takes minnie’s questioning seriously.

after the film, i was sat in a circle with some of my friends, all women, and each of us remarked how rare it is to identify with a character on screen, but that each of us felt drawn to minnie like no other. the diary of a teenage girl is not a flawless movie, but it certainly enraptured me entirely. the film’s unique artistic style, especially in the semi-animated or entirely animated scenes, did not feel contrived or like it was trying to play to a teenage audience at all. the animation worked, which i find is a rare quality, and minnie’s own passions outside of the main plot of the film absolutely enriched her overall story.

Nick found himself smiling again. “Good, because I’ve had enough of that place to last a lifetime.”

“Haven’t we all?” Marigold laughed again. Nick really liked her laugh. He especially liked being the cause of it. “So. The only thing is, you have to see this in the early morning; otherwise, it’s just not as good. Would you be opposed to meeting at, say, 5:30 tomorrow morning?”

Nick laughed. “Hey, I get up early to take care of my plants anyway. It wouldn’t be a problem. Especially if it will be worth it!”

“Oh, it will be,” Marigold assured him. She gave him the address and promised to be there at 5:30 a.m. sharp.

Day was excited to see Ray again. Excited and nervous. She hadn't’t even seen pictures of him recently, being that she had been completely avoiding any sight of hm. Although she had a feeling that he still looked cute. So she pulled out her favorite little summer dress, having thought that they were just going to go eat or get something to drink.. but as she walked towards the address he’d sent her, she noticed something was up. She was definitely not dressed like most people around. Her phone alerted her, letting her know she had reached her destination. 

“What?” She said to herself, not knowing what Ray wanted them to do here. She looked up at the red neon lights blaring above her. XXX. “Oh my god.”

Cupcakes and promises || Swiftburn

Ever since his break up Tyler had been reckless. He was drinking again and occasionally sleeping with GiGi. it was a thing that worked for them. Now he was on a flight to Vancouver at the last minute just to see Taylor. He hadn’t seen her in forever and it would be nice not to be drinking alone. The plane was mostly empty and he slept since he was fairly sure he wasn’t going to get much sleep once he got to Taylor. Especially if she actually wanted to follow through on her original ideas. When the plane landed he pulled his beanie down low to help disguise himself. Not that he had a lot of paps following him. He got a cab to the address she had sent him and paid the drive when he pulled up. He headed inside the hotel to her room and knocked on the door. 

OTRA Minneapolis
  • Apparently Louis’ mic was super low and had some issues.  WHO CAUSED THIS?!  I need to know who to address my angry letter to.
  • A fan had a sign about how the band saved her life and Liam went and kissed her on the cheek.  Can we just talk about how kind and loving these boys are?  Just another reason to be proud to be a fan.
  • There were bad jokes and Louis talking about Niall’s clothes.  Other boy bands dance, these boys have silly banter.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
  • Harry went offstage and interacted with a small child.  He goes from moaning to babies in 0 to 60 when it usually takes 9 months.
  • Louis’ “skate tough” shirt is back, Harry’s bun is back, Liam unbuttoned his shirt, and Niall’s pants seem to get tighter as each day goes by.  I have no complaints.
thinkprogress.org
What The Supreme Court Has To Say About Sandra Bland’s Arrest
After watching the video, Texas state Sen. Royce West (D) commented that "once you see what occurred, you will probably agree with me she did not deserve to be placed in custody." It is likely that the United States Supreme Court would also agree.

Rodriguez v. United States held that police could not extend the length of a routine traffic stop, even for just a few minutes, absent a safety related concern or reasonable suspicion to believe that the driver may have committed an additional crime. As Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg explained in the opinion of the Court, ‘[t]he tolerable duration of police inquiries in the traffic-stop context is determined by the seizure’s ‘mission’ — to address the traffic violation that warranted the stop, and attend to related safety concerns.’ A police stop ‘may ‘last no longer than is necessary to effectuate th[at] purpose.’ Authority for the seizure thus ends when tasks tied to the traffic infraction are — or reasonably should have been — completed.’”

I wonder though if Vordenberg is truly one of the “big bads” or just a “bad”. Is his vendetta against vampires ‘all’ there is to him? Is that the extent of his shadyness? Because it may be. It ties back into the ‘black and white’ theme again- he has this blanket hatred of vampires, but as we know they are ultimately not all the same, and their past actions don’t necessarily dictate them. 

I think Laura may find herself addressing that in response to him and his agenda, which could lend itself to her re-evaluating and understanding the situation with her and Carmilla.

Of Swabbing Decks

Canon Divergence: Deckhand Killian starts to remember Emma.

The boat rocks back and forth like a cradle. The endless ocean spread out before them, vast and blue. Emma is staring out at it. Completely unaware that he is watching her. 

Her long golden hair flows down her back. Her shoulders move up and down slowly as she inhales the sea air. 

It was strange. Even though he had just met her, he got the distinct feeling that he knew her.

“How did you become a deckhand?” She abruptly asks. 

Killian’s heart flutters about nervously. He still wasn’t used to her addressing him directly. “It just kind of happened. My brother always wanted me to go into the Navy. But, I’m not exactly the brave type.”

“You helped save me. That’s pretty brave.”

“All I did was lend a hand to your boy.”

“You could have died.”

 “I suppose,” he pauses. “You know, the lad said that in this reality where you are from, I sailed the seven seas as a Captain.”

“A damn fine one too,” she answers.

“I think I would much rather stick to swabbing decks.”

“Don’t you want to have adventure?”

“Aye, but I’d rather do it safely,” he bluntly replies. Her eyes grow sad for a moment, but then she smiles. 

“Don’t you work on a pirate ship? I highly doubt that’s conducive to safety.”

“That is true enough. But, I have yet to find anything that I feel strongly enough about to go out on a limb for.”

She smiles at him. “Perhaps you will, someday.”

“Aye, perhaps I will.”

When she grins back at him, something like a memory flashes before his eyes. A beanstalk. An ogre.

“Are you alright?” She inquires.

He nods, but there’s a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.


When she teaches him how to yield his sword, her scent dances along the edge of his senses. He seems to remember the taste of her lips- sweet and salty. The sheer passion complete and intense. When he asks if they were close in the other reality, he doesn’t really need to hear the answer because he already knows it in his heart. 

That’s why he does not hesitate when it comes to time to sacrifice himself. And when that sword enters his body he is not afraid. 

As the pain swallows him, his mind is filled with memories. 

A journey back in time. A dance with her pressed closely against him. The red dress flowing around them as they spun in time to the music. A long awaited kiss. A date in a fancy restaurant, her reaching across a table and holding his hand.

The last image is of her smiling and bidding him goodnight.

A single name floats unbidden to his lips as his mind grows dark.

“Swan.”

-

(I Find Reason to Believe) In My Daughter's Eyes

A/N: After expanding their family through the adoption of a little girl, Emma finds that the arrival of their daughter forces her to face, and overcome, the familial demons of her past. She finds a new sense of hope in the eyes of her fellow lost girl.

Word Count: 3,700+

[some feels, some angst, some fluff, lots of love- a CS future one-shot]

[FF Net] [AO3]

Emma hadn’t given much thought to having more kids. Mostly, she just never imagined herself settling down with someone and having the stable, loving home needed to bring another child into the world. Somehow, despite opening up to each other, sharing details of their past and goals for their future, the topic of children was never addressed between her and Killian. He had likely been afraid of pushing the subject, scaring her off. Until a few months after their wedding, the idea of expanding her family hadn’t occurred to Emma.

Keep reading

FUCKBOI!LUKE PART VI

Requested: hell yes, it was

Word count: 1,430 (it’s so long, I’m so sorry .__.)

Warnings: alcohol abuse 

Storyline:

Fuckboi!Luke has a bet w/ Michael about not getting to lay you and it gets kinda intense lol

Previous parts: Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V

Luke’s POV

I was pretty bummed out, not gonna lie.

Michael took this way too seriously for my liking – or maybe I just took the bet too easily?

I mean, I sure refused to make her come in the first place - like when it came to texting her the address and such - being sure he would of course try to make a move on her but this?!

Getting her sloshed was a real dick move from him, though, and honestly, this was so against the rules.

Not that we set up any or something but that’s just unfair, really.

On the other hand – wouldn’t I have done the exact same thing if I would feel about her the way I felt about the other girls all these times before?

Admittedly, I really would have.

Michael was just not treating her any differently than the girls that I usually wingman-ed him so why was I so pissed? It’s not a surprising behavior? He is literally just being Michael.

He could have his fun and I would sure find someone to have fun with as well - no big deal then, right?

Wow, was I wrong.

I desperately tried to ignore his arm right above her head as she leaned against the wall with her back, his face a little too close to hers for her to not take a hint.

Then again, it was Y/N. She was shy and delicately inexperienced. I don’t think she realized how hot she was facing how she was hiding behind the bigger crowds, not participating in any out-of-school clubs or joining any football games.

Y/N was a wallflower that didn’t know she was the one wild rose among to all the gillyflowers, poetically spoken. Fuck, what did I just say?

Making my way back to the kitchen, I filled some liquor in a cup, now necking it in a less than a second.

Fuck it. She’s not even that special. She can’t be better than the others I had.

I really had to express my respect I had for Michael, facing he seriously taunted the girl that I couldn’t even taunt myself. Lucky fucker.

As I grabbed for the fridge handle now, I felt someone’s arms sneak across my chest, for some inexplicable reason hoping it was her.

Looking down my torso, I recognized the person had rings on each finger which kept roaming over the area of my front.

Jane.

I tried not to sound as pissed, when I sighed in annoyance, reaching for the two beers that I was looking for, now kicking the door close to twist around in her grip, shooting down to press my lips against hers with force.

Her arms looped around my neck now and before she could consider this more than a random make-out, I broke our connection, murmuring “That was nice, we should carry this on another time, but I gotta keep Michael hydrated” as I pushed her aside gently, now back on my way through the crowd again.

Y/N was nowhere to be seen. Wait, this wasn’t about her, right? I wanted to find Michael, goddamnit!

I pushed through all these people, beers raised to not have them spilled all over the floor if someone would bump into me like Valerie did earlier when Y/N arrived.

Soon I made out their figures, sitting on the couch in the living room but there was not a lot of sitting going on. Michael practically ate her alive as he kept brushing her hair out of her face, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, as the other hand now slowly raised its way towards her face.

I swear to god, if he now strokes her cheek I will-

Of fucking course he did.

He was pulling each and every method that we evolved together and I should’ve been proud of him for getting the shyest girl to act on it but all I felt was anger.

Yet, I kept telling myself it was only caused by the fact that she wouldn’t pull along when I tried it and preferred Michael using the usual procedure – the very same, to mention that again.

I bit my lip furiously, faking a smile as I handed him the beer and he sat up straighter, now releasing Y/N from his tight grip as he leaned forward, touching glasses.

“Heard Jane was here. How are things with her?” Michael yelled over the music, the red shade on his cheeks giving away he already had a couple of beers.

I felt Y/N’s look on my side but I kept pretending I didn’t even realize she was sitting there.

“Pretty hot” I gave back, the bottleneck colliding with my lip ring as I was once again attaching the beer to my mouth, taking a swing.

Michael grinned.


“So we’re both going to get some, huh? Good for you”

I swallowed hard, desperately trying to ignore the blood which I now tasted on my tongue that was leaking from my lips, caused by harshly biting on them.

Y/N didn’t even hear our conversation.

A quick glance down on her, made me realize she was half asleep and so did Michael now, apparently, softly moving one hand up and down her arm so her eyes were fluttering open.

“Did you fuck her up like that? How many of these strawberries did she have?” I murmured hardly audible.

“Not too many, 12 maybe” he shrugged.

“12 and ,not too many’?? Does she look like she’s able to hold one’s drink to you??!” My forehead tensed angrily.

“I’m fine. You’re being bitchy, I don’t like that”

Michael chuckled to her words and my eyebrows knitted together.

Okay, if she seriously still owned the sass with quoting my text, then she sure still had her shit together.

Fuck this.

Michael leaned back again but Y/N got up, apparently heading to the toilets.

I sat down too, soon having some girl sit on my lap - Katie or whatever her name was.

I didn’t give to shits as I emptied the bottle in my hand.

Y/N’s POV

I felt dizzy on my way back to the living room as I passed the dancing people, still having the time of their lives – at least it looked like they did.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in. Y/N Y/S/N at a party” some female voice snickered behind me.

I turned around slowly to recognize Vanessa, a girl I shared some classes with.

She was well-known for being one of Luke’s latest on/off relationships.

Leaning to the side she caught a glimpse of the couch across the room.

“Are you being Michael’s treat tonight?” she smirked, returning her attention to me.

I went through my hair with one hand. “I’m no one’s treat”

“And I’m actually here because of Luke and-“ What the fuck did I just say? The words kinda fell out of my mouth??!

Her one eyebrow popped up. “Luke huh? Haha, that’s my speciality, c’mere let’s drive him nuts”

Luke’s POV

After the many beers and multiple cup of vodkas I had, I then felt Katie lifting herself off me to do body shots with someone and in the exact moment, I caught a glimpse of Vanessa leading Y/N towards the dance floor, now grinding on her.

Michael next to me, hit my chest repeatedly to spotlight what was going on there as well and I just pushed his hand off me angrily, as we were now both watching the scenario from afar.

In the second where Vanessa leaned down, I didn’t trust my eyes. How much alcohol do you have to-?

Fuck, she did it! She kissed her!

My jaw dropped and Michael went head over heels.

I grunted, now pushing myself off the couch to storm over to them, grabbing Y/N’s arm.

Unexpectedly, I now felt a grip on mine as well.

Michael stood behind me, fingers grasping my wrist with force.

“What are you doing?!” he shouted over the still booming bass.

“Y/N will be going home now.” I grunted back and noticed his eyes darken so they were nearly pitch black.

“No.” He gave back sternly and clearly pissed. “That’s against the rules and-“

“There are no rules and she will be going home now” I repeated in a low voice.

“But the bet-“

“Fuck the bet. She will be going home.” I ripped my arm away from him to hold onto Y/N’s waist.

“Luke what-?” she was clearly confused and for some reason my voice softened rapidly as I just whispered “it’s late. Let’s get you home” into her ear.

_____

A/N Oi, if you wanna do me a favour, give me feedack in my ask or maybe you’re even lame enough to sign my wall of fame? :3 ♥

masterlist

age is just a number

{day 31: reincarnation}, AU


One table over, the girl with pink hair was staring at him.

So, Sasuke stared right back.

The staring contest continued, until she finally blinked her enormous green eyes and her pink mouth formed one inaudible word.

Sasuke was no expert at lip-reading, but it certainly looked like a swear word.

Distantly offended, he got to his feet and crossed over to her table, brushing past other students in the midst of lunch. When he finally stood before her, arms crossed, he fully expected her to apologize immediately—or at least address him.

Instead, she seemed to be talking to herself.

“No, no, no, no, no,” she kept saying, a hint of panic in her voice as she stared up at him. “…Hell no.”

He uncrossed his arms, staring blankly at her. “What?”

She didn’t seem to have heard him. Instead, it appeared that he’d made her rather angry.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she shrieked, jabbing a finger at him while half-rising from her seat.

Sasuke wasn’t quite sure what to do with that.

Keep reading

10

CS AU Week - Canon Divergence

Her heart jumped in her throat as he addressed her. Before she had heard his voice she still believed that everything was just a dream. But he was really here.

She crouched down beside him, wanting to shake him but instead her fingers were brushing over his body and she hissed under her breath so that no one could hear it but him. “Where the hell have you been?”

(on FF.net)

So I’m finally restocking on prints to sell online and getting them from a new place and got the hard copy proofs just yesterday and they’re amazing

and I showed them to my dad bc I was all excited about how nice they were and he got on a spiel about how I really should try to find a way to contact RS to give her the Steven Universe prints bc I BLEW IT at AX and didn’t get to give her and the crew members anything like an idiot

and so my dad was in an [AGGRESSIVELY ENCOURAGING AND SUPPORTS YOU] mode and kept trying to make a bet with me that he’d be able to find a way to contact RS and have her respond real easy

and I’m just laughing bc it’s cute and I guess my dad’s going on a quest to find her email address in the morning for the sake of this bet

(the proofs turned out real nice though. my phone’s camera is crappy and doesn’t really show it but just trust me. and they’re from CatPrint.com btw)

Not to stir up any hate but I felt the need to address the big red elephant in the room with Blood moon ball.

Ok so I’ve seen a few posts that are saying that Tom manipulated Star into going to the BMB just so he could bind with her forever without her consent but I don’t actually think that’s true.

First of all, the moon isn’t a controlled thing, it selects people to be soul mates not the other way around. So really Tom had no control over whether the moon would bind him and Star together forever.

But that’s not to say he didn’t hope for it. He invited her because he figured at least there would be a chance, however slim, for him and Star to be ever lasting. So when he sees that the girl he loved was actually meant for someone else, according to the moon, then yeah he would lash out because this was something he deemed as important, important enough to change himself and to change the way the ball was done.

That’s not to say he’s right though, he really isn’t. I think Tom is an extremely misguided teen who is so desperate to be loved that he would alter himself for the person he loves, which is bad! A person shouldn’t change for anyone but themselves because they want to be a better person. A person can inspire them to be better but to change for a person is all kinds of unhealthy.

It kind of reminded me of Lobster claw where Star had the mindset that a leopard never changes his spots while Marco had the belief that a person could be changed. In the end, both of them were wrong and right, Lobster monster did stay on the evil side but there was also this small amount of good in him that at least made him hesitate to hand the wand over to Ludo.

Part of me wonders if this will be a recurring theme as the wand itself seems to contain this great good but also this great evil that anyone can wield. Everyone in this series is this mix of good and bad so really there is no reason to demonize (ha!) any one character just to make your ship sail.

Tom is flawed, Marco is flawed, and even Star is flawed but you can still like them for their flaws. It’s what makes this show so interesting.

anonymous asked:

Sherlock giving Molly a massage.

Baker Street. 6pm. Don’t be late. SH

I’m working. Mollyx

Please. SH

Fine. Mollyx

Molly sighs heavily when she finally manages to escape work, realising she only has ten minutes before she’s due at Baker Street - no time to change, then. Great. She lifts a heavy arm to signal a cab, giving Sherlock’s address and speeding to the destination

she approaches the door, finding a note taped to the door informing her of Mrs. Hudson’s absence and that she should just go on up. sighing again, she pulls herself upstairs to the oddly dark flat hoping that he wasn’t in the mood to experiment.

“Sherlock?” She doesn’t know why she’d whispered.

“Bedroom.” He answers, with a somewhat excited tone of voice.

Molly hesitates until she ultimately decides the sooner she helps him, the sooner she can leave for her bed. as she nears the bedroom, she sees the flickering lights of scented candles…definitely lavender. it’s quite calming. very different to the other times she’d been there

“what’s going on?” she smiles, for some reason, when she peers inside - squinting - to find rose petals spread across his bed, some expensive wine cooling in a bucket, soft towels folded neatly in the corner and lots of bottles of oils.

his sleeves are rolled up, his hair a mess and bright eyes twinkling in the candlelight - she barely registers her coat slipping from her shoulders.

“how was work?”

“work…work was good,” she answers, her tongue heavy in her mouth. she hates that she can tell he’s smiling.

“really? you’re not stressed at all?”

“n-no…”

he raises an eyebrow, “really? are you sure?”

frowning slightly, Molly takes to glancing around the beautifully made-up bedroom again. then, it clicks. ohhh.

she rolls her shoulders for show, “actually, now that you mention it…I could use some skilled hands. shoulders…back…you know?”

he nods slowly, watching over her shoulder as she moves to lift her frankly alarming jumper. “you’ve worked hard enough today. you shouldn’t have to lift another finger all day.” again, she frowns but lets him slides his hands down her arms to the bottom of that ridiculous jumper, “may I?”

she nods and turns to face him, swallowing yet again as she finds his eyes. she raises her arms, her hair faling down her back as her jumper is discarded. he glances down to her kitten patterned t-shirt questioningly but Molly was one step ahead, ripping the fabric away without a second thought

ten minutes later, Molly was lying on her stomach on what she’d decided was the most comfortable bedspread she’s ever had the pleasure of being pressed into. Sherlock is perched next to her so as not to lean all of his weight on her…but the gentle touch of his hands on her bare back (abover her modestly place towel, of course) and shoulders has her emitting the softest sighs and happy little mewls.

“good?” he asks, a little nervously - he’d read the books, watched the YouTube videos, he’d even gathered tips from a confused professional. what if he’d made a mistake? what if she didn’t like it? was he being too rough? not rough enough?

“very good,” she breathes and he feels the swell of pride, pleased to finally do something for her, “remind me to return the favour one day.”

it’s a moment before the pathologist realises his hands have stopped and are just resting between her shoulder blades; she peers over her shoulder, her smile growing when she sees him blinking rapidly, staring into space.

buffering. there was no other word for it. he seems to regain consciousness for he reaches for the oils again, clearing his throat.

“uhh, okay…I-I’m not stressed.”

it’s her turn to raise an eyebrow, “really? are you sure?”

that lop-sided smile of his - she wants nothing more than to snog the lips forming it, “well, now that you mention it…”

Originally posted by lokithebetterson

so I liked yearbook (a lot)

spoileerrrrSsssS
anyways. interesting episode. good lesson. good counter-lesson (farkle wanting to find more of himself). we complained about how the writers don’t use farkle to his best potential, and here they are, giving him something none of us expected really and the room for so much character development. that’s amazing…it’s been addressed that lucas doesn’t do anything for himself, that he takes what comes and goes (I’ve made several complaints about that, guilty) and here the writers are making sure that he isn’t just that guy that doesn’t speak up. and then maya… realizing that riley’s attraction to lucas isn’t as serious as she’d made it seem to be/hoped to be. there’s a reason she didn’t tell riley the truth and that’s because either a) maya thinks that riley will come to terms with her real feelings on her own and she shouldn’t be the one to break it to her since after all it’s not maya’s “secret” or “discovery” to begin with or b) she’s just being selfless because maybe she deems it better that riley stay “blind” for now because she doesn’t want her to be sad or anything of the sort and that maybe riley could make the best of her time bc what she doesn’t know will definitely not hurt her. BUT—since we now know that secret, there will surely be upcoming development on the falling of rucas and the building of lucaya. this is it, and this is the beginning of where we watch it all play out amongst a group of friends waiting to unravel what the world has in store for them. (lucaya sails on.)

anonymous asked:

I can´t believe they are taking this long to announce a confirmation or a denial from Louis.... every news paper that I´ve seen always state that Louis has yet to comment about the baby news... Its taking so long. I need Louis to say something

He may never say anything. I’m getting to the point they may just not address it–which makes her family really take the fall alone, which may be what they were set up to do.

The good news is if they were going to officially confirm, it would have happened already. Meanwhile all the media outlets are going more and more vague on their language. Alleged, supposedly and rumored are being thrown around like crazy.

In a month or two, she’ll be papped in tight clothing, making it absolutely clear she’s not pregnant–and he and his team never had to get their hands dirty all while gaining all this publicity

Disney’s Descendents: We’re gonna need a lot more booze for this

CONTEXT: video here

  • Why 
  • There is a magical iPad used to deliver the opening introduction for no other reason then “HELLO FELLOW KIDS IT IS I DISNEY”
  •  Beast is still addressed as beast?
  • Why is he not addressed as Adam? They just keep on saying shit like “King Beast” and “Belle married her beast” (which sounds vaguely sexual tbh)
  • Apparently Beast pulled some UN style new world order shit and collectively united all the kingdoms. All of them.
  • Which begs the question, if skull island and agrabah are in there, did they all have to respectively relocate their kingdoms?
  • Where is this enormous free plot of land that all collective nations in fairytale dimension can squeeze in there?
  • If neverland is located in another dimension how was that accomplished?
  • How did Beast singlehandedly pull the feat of cultural cooperation and a well-integrated collective economy and currency the UN is still struggling to do?
  • Did nobody argue with this plan? I feel like there was at least some opposition.
  • Beast becomes the “elected” king of Auradon? 
  • Monarchy ≠ Democracy.
  • “United States of Auradon”
  • Are the kingdoms still separate kingdoms or are they just towns representing the kingdoms like an embassy? Because if it’s the first they are not qualified for statehood. 
  • This whole government outline is a hot mess. Nobody was prepared or organized for this transition, clearly.
  • Beast has rounded up both the evil people and “sidekicks” (!?! What the hell did they do besides have less of a role you dickweed) and stuck them on some island ghetto
  • No literally this is some classist Hitler-esque discrimination here and it’s just tolerated by the kingdom at large
  • Hold on a sec how is Cruella De Vil in this magical-esque fantasy landscape when her story was clearly set in the present? 
  • Never mind this whole setup is garbage
  • There is no wifi on The Isle of The Lost
  • The royal living room has a flatscreen tv, a foosball table and some benchpress equipment so fuck it I guess it’s modern day
  • Belle and Beast have all the chemistry and genuine dialogue of 2 uneaten lukewarm cantaloupes on a cheap folding card table 
  • Beast is such a classist shit-sandwich any enjoyment of his abusive Stockholm-manipulating ass I received from his arc in his respective film is tossed out the window 
  • Belle seems somewhat frightened of Beast’s prospective anger when her son pitches an idea
  • So much so she has to hold him back and interject
  • More points against Beast McDipstick wow what a day
  • Beast is concerned when Maleficent’s daughter is on the list because she is apparently the worst I guess
  • Okay here’s the problem with this entire setup lemme bold it
  • SO THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER IS THE DESCENDENT OF BEAUTY AND THE BEAST WHOS VILLAIN SHOULD BE GASTON BUT HES DEAD SO IT MAKES SINCE HE HAS NO DESCENDENT BUT IN THAT CASE JAFAR, CRUELLA, MALEFICENT AND THE EVIL QUEEN SHOULD ALSO HAVE NO HEIRS GOD DAMMIT THIS LOGIC NEEDS CONTINUITY PICK A PATH AND STICK TO IT JSUS HCHRUSTSTSTFFFFFFfFF
  • They never state who these villains frick-fracked with to make these kids.
  • Do they reproduce asexually?
  • Mitosis?  
  • Are they adopted?
  • Were they stolen at birth and raised to be bad?
  • Did I just guess a shitty twist?
  • There is perpetually a stormy cloud over The Isle of the Lost. I guess to make their day shittier?
  •  Cut to seductive EDM dance number 
  • OH MY GOD THIS LIPSYNCH IS DONKEY SHIT WTF KENNY ORTEGA HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL HAD THAT DOWN WHY NOT THIS ITS 2015 YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOW SIR
  • Angst levels are off the chart with these teens
  • The Isle of The Lost is decorated like a steampunk  post-apocalyptic  community rummage sale mixed with the sets of Waterworld
  • Yet it somehow fails to be memorable? Like either go all-out poverty or do an eccentric villain lair but city-sized
  • Judging by the reactions I have a hard time believing the majority of this island is villains. Most just seem to be unlucky sidekicks dealing with the mischievous antics of the few villains left to spawn radical children 
  • For a dirty-poverty filled island ghetto the average income seems high enough for every citizen to have an exclusively mid-2000s Hot Topic wardrobe
  • The entire song “Wicked World” is laden with very orgasmic sounding sighs
  • THIS THING ISNT EVEN HALFWAY DONE YET
  • THE REST IS COMING
  • Be afraid
  • Be very afraid
  • Actually don’t I’m sure you can get through it with some pals, low expectations, and booze
  • But maybe more booze than a screening of HSM takes
  • Just  a heads up