Angst anon: Michael, maybe it'd be better without your player 1. He sounds like a horrible guy to have hurt you during.. Whatever happened in senior year. As a fan who loves your videos, maybe it'd be better to forget about the past! Focus on the future maybe, maybe someone else would be a greater player 1 that deserves to know you and will not leave you behind! Plus who knows, if they disappeared- Maybe they're gone for good?
He ISN’T horrible. But… maybe you’re right. Maybe I should move on.
It’s just… hard, y’know? Hah.. I loved the guy since middle school and I’ve known him for even longer.
I still remember hanging out with him as if it was yesterday.
Even now, sometimes, I feel like I could just turn around and call out to him and he’d be standing there, laughing and smiling so wide- but… he’s not. Not anymore.
Maybe I am judging this the wrong way.
But it’s only because I’ve known him for so long.
I know what he’s like. At least… I thought I did. But still, that?
That was nothing like him! It felt… different. He… was different.
I mean, I know, I should be looking forward to a brighter and happier future but- Even if it was his choice to end things the way they did, I can’t help but feel like this could have been prevented.
Maybe it was inevitable, but part of me feels like I just didn’t try hard enough or something. Like I was just a shit friend that didn’t help enough and I’m somewhat responsible for losing him; as if all of this… was sort of my fault.
It’s dumb, I know, but.. what’s done is done. I just need to live with my mistakes, I guess. He… probably isn’t coming back and I just,, need to accept that.