he's that guy on girl code

Being Tony Stark’s Daughter and Dating Peter Parker would include:

Author’s Note: I really love these headcannon lists so I decided to try them out, hope you enjoy <3

Warning(s): swearing and Deadpool tbh


Being Tony Stark’s Daughter and Dating Peter Parker would include:

• LMAO LORDY HERE WE GO


•meeting him by chance at Starbucks.
-they’d call out ‘Stark’ to come pick up your drink and Peter would freak out.



•he’d try and talk to you about the ‘stark internship’ and you’d be like 'tf are you?’
-“Hi I’m P-Parker Pete, I mean Peter Parker”
-“okay do you want like an autograph or something???”


•he’d be like stumbling over his words and you’d think he was cute so you’d sign his arm with your number and he’d freak out.


•he wouldn’t know whether or not to call you or how to talk to you so he just wouldn’t.
-Ned yelling at him bc Peter is stupid.


•and you’d be upset that this Parker Pete dude didn’t call you back and Tony would try to cheer you up.


•you’d be a huge Spider-Man fan


•like high-key Spidey fan


•and for some reason Tony forgot to tell you that he knew Spiderman.


•so you’d flip shit when Tony would come into the compound with an unmasked Spiderman.
-“you?? Know?? SPIDEY?? And you??? Didn’t??? Tell me???”
-“(Y/N) please, I’m old and highly susceptible to heart attacks”


•then you’d flip shit on Peter for not calling you.
-“and you Parker Pete! You didn’t call me??”


•completely ignoring the fact that Peter is spiderman.


•dropping by during training sessions.


•distracting Peter.


•getting sent out bc you’re too distracting.


•convincing Tony to let you go public school so you can 'monitor’ Peter’s progress.


•Peter showing off your friendship to everyone.


•picking up Ned and Peter in one of Tony’s flashy cars just to prove Flash wrong.


•sticking up for Peter 99.9% of the time.


•Peter being grateful for having you as a friend.


friend :’)


•you end up crushing on Peter haaaard
-it being painfully obvious to everyone but Peter
-Ned teasing you for it until the end of time.


•he asks you out at one of Liz’s parties during 7 minutes of heaven.
-“so- *kiss*-I was thinking- *kiss*-maybe later we could- *kiss*
-“yes Peter I’ll go out with you”


•keeping it a secret from Tony bc he thinks dating will interfere with Peter being Spiderman.


•dating for like a year behind Tony’s back.


•the avengers finding out bc Wanda accidentally reads your thoughts one day :)
-“you made out with Peter?”
-“WHo toLd yOu ThAt?”


•overprotective mother!Steve Rogers.

•dates swinging above the New York skyline.

•cute nicknames

•angel

•baby

•dARLInG


•Peter sneaking into your room when he gets hurt.


•making up crazy excuses when Tony almost barges into your room.
-“IM ON MY PERIOD! BLOOD! BLOOD EVERYWHERE!”
-“I’m too old for this”


•Tony inviting Peter to team dinners.
-holding hands under the table.
-blowing kisses when Tony isn’t looking.


•makeout sessions on the roofs of sky scrapers.


•attempting to do the Spider-Man kiss.
-“Peter I think we’re doing this wrong”
-“No I got this” *web snaps* “AHhH”


“Y/N NO”
“Y/N YES”

•Ned being disturbed by your PDA.


•kisses by the lockers.


•flash flirting with you


•jealous!Peter

•he’d like clench his jaw and glare and you’d find that really hot tbh.

•but then flash would say some dumb shit like “how’d penis Parker get a hot babe like you?”

•you almost breaking Flash’s arm

•Peter cheering you on.

Slapping Peter’s ass at school when no ones looking


•Peter blushing all the time bc it happens on a daily basis


•Getting angry at your dad when he takes away Peter’s suit.
-“Y/N talk to me”
-“Not until you give Peter back his suit”
-“he doesn’t deserve it”
-“he deserves everything in the world and so much more than you. He tried to help you, but you didn’t listen!”

•Tony being hurt bc you’ve never fought with him before.

•him wondering why you’re defending Peter.

•it finally clicking that you’re dating Peter.

•Tony being mad at you for keeping it a secret.

•Peter not wanting to come between you and your dad’s close relationship

•coming to Peter’s defence when Tony tries to 'kill’ him.
-“dad no! I love him”
-“you love me?”

-“ew this is so sweet I can feel the diabetes already”



•PDA around the avengers tower after that
-“The 'making out’ is disturbing me”

-“Same, Thor, same”



•cuddles
-“you’re really soft”
-*you booping peters nose* “yeah well you’re really cute”

•dad jokes.

-“Peter! Peter! What time did the man go to the dentist?!’’

-”(Y/N) go away"

-“Tooth hurt-y! get it?”


•study dates
-turning into makeout sessions
-resulting in you guys being supervised by vision


•you trying on the suit
-almost suffocating
-accidentally swinging out into the streets of New York
-you going to hospital
-lectures from Tony.


•getting the talk from Wade
-crying afterwards bc Wade is weird.
-Tony trying to kill Wade

“PETER NO”
“PETER YES”


•passing notes in class


•staring at each other in class

•detentions together
-resulting in you making out in the back.
-resulting in you guys getting kicked out of detention
-never getting detention from other teachers bc they are disturbed by teen romance

•girl talks with Michelle and Liz
-Ned and Peter trying to spy on you guys
-Ned and Peter treating it like a secret mission and having code names.
-“Nedstar 101, I have visual on the birds”
-“copy that Peterpiper”
-“you know we can see you guys right”
-“abort mission! abort mission! We’ve been compromised!”

•getting mad when Peter doesn’t ask you to homecoming.
-him being really confused bc he thought he didn’t have to ask since you guys were dating.


•Peter getting the silent treatment.
-“BaBbBeeee”
-“PlEASe talk to mEee”

•Asking Ned for help
-failing miserably and making you even more mad.

•going to Tony for help
-also failing miserably.
-“she’s your daughter??? How did this go so wrong???”
-“I don’t know!? I’m a failure!?”

•Peter sitting outside your bedroom door for like 2 hours.
-forgiving him when you come home to find him sleeping there.

•tickle fights
-Peter accidentally kicking you in the face.
-going to the hospital again.
-getting lectures from Tony and Steve.

•cooking with Aunt May

•May loves you

•girl talks with May
-Peter trying to spy on these.

•going to Thai restaurants with May and Peter
-sometimes Tony would come
-things would get weird
-Thai food puns

•May and Peter coming to spend family holidays with you and the avengers.
-Tony being weird with Aunt May
-reJectIoOoN

•forehead kisses

•Peter bringing you lunch bc you always forget to eat.

•Peter crying over the titanic
-“Pete are you crying?”
-“No this is liquid pride”

•Movie nights with the Avengers
-Tony and Peter crying and laughing over the same scenes
-you and the avengers being weirded out.

•Peter braiding your hair

•Playing with Peter’s hair
-it helps him fall asleep or calm down from stress.

•falling asleep on one another
-the avengers taking photos of you guys
-someone knocking something over effectively waking you up.
-proceed to you screaming at the avengers for like 5 minutes.


•naps together


•you being the big spoon
-Peter never admiting that to anyone.
-you telling everyone.

•late night calls
-effectively running up Tony’s phone bill.
-“Y/N WHY IS YOUR CELL PHONE BILL OVER ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS?!?!”
-“I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS A PROBLEM I MEAN WE’RE BILLIONAIRES”


•Tony showing off you and Peter’s relationship
-cos he’s a proud dad
-uncle!Tony loves his spiderling.


•You making Peter the happiest he’s ever been and vice Versa.


“I love you”
“Meh you’re alright Pete”


things I appreciate in Zelda: BotW

(minor spoilers)

- The Arrow Lady in Kakariko Village just wants to bang Link. She doesn’t want to date him: she just wants to bang him. Her thirst is real and superficial and honestly I just appreciate her.

- that said, if marrying her got me an unlimited supply of arrows, I would marry the Arrow Lady in a heartbeat because wow am I bad at aiming at things

- the sweet girl in Hateno has a crush on Link after I rescued her sheep awww what a cutie

- there is a gentleman at one of the stables who just rambled on about how beautiful Link is for about ten minutes what a gem

- Paya is also a cutie who I would marry if the game would let me

- one time I was in Hyrule Field and it started downpouring, so Link and an NPC who was also on the road, ran for cover. We got to the cover and there was a little fire there. I talked to the NPC, and he said “We should stay here and share the fire until the rain stops!” So I did, and I sat by the fire until morning. At morning time, the NPC was still there, and he stretched out and yawned, implying that Link slept next to the guy all night.

- Several people have confused Link for a girl, and his reaction has been  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not  (ง'̀-‘́)ง which I appreciate

- The Head Researcher who is renown throughout Hyrule for their brilliance? A woman.

- There is a Goron who is heavily queer-coded and honestly I am here for Gay Gorons please and thank you Nintendo. IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE A LADY GORON THOUGH JUST SAYING.

- The implied reason for Link being a Silent Protagonist is A N X I E T Y like wow talk about #relatable

- The Gerudo Champion Urbosa is a Giant Lady with Amazing Abs who could Crush Link With Her Amazing Thighs and honestly we are so #blessed

- Sidon is a gift and I would gladly die for that handsome fish man

- I have two horses, their names are Daisy and Zero, they are terrible and I love them

- I am forty hours into this game. I have 9 hearts and 2/3s of an upgraded stamina wheel. I’ve completed two dungeons, ¾ths of the map is still a #mystery, I have no idea where to go from here and there does not seem to be an end in sight. Big Good Nintendo continues to be the Big Good of the gaming world.

Men always say that as the defining compliment: the Cool Girl. She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means that I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see these men - friends, coworkers, strangers - giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much - no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version - maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: ‘I like strong women.’ If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because 'I like strong women’ is code for 'I hate strong women.’)
I waited patiently - years - for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, learn how to knit, pretend to like cosmos, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we’d say, Yeah, he’s a Cool Guy.
But it never happened. Instead, women across the nation colluded in our degradation! Pretty soon Cool Girl became the standard girl. Men believed she existed - she wasn’t just a dreamgirl one in a million. Every girl was supposed to be this girl, and if you weren’t, then there was something wrong with you.
—  Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn.

anonymous asked:

So I don't know if you've done anything like this but could you do MC playing a dating sim and RFA gets jealous of her gushing over her favorite boy?

Haha, this one was so fun to write! Hope you like them~


Zen:

  • He noticed you’ve been on your phone a lot lately
  • But then he passed behind you one day and saw a lot of drawings
  • He asked if you were reading something, but you just calmly reply you’re playing a game
  • When he sees a picture of a pretty boy come on the screen, he gets ruffled
  • “What kind of game is that?” 
  • “Ninja Ninja! It’s a dating sim where you can find out their backstories and stuff.”
  • He couldn’t believe it….the guy had red eyes too!
  • Throughout the week, every time you were on your phone, he’d always ask if you were playing “that game” again
  • When you finally thought he was going to stop, he joins you at the breakfast table
  • Wearing a full ninja costume
  • You start laughing and asked where he got it from
  • “Oh, it’s from an old play of mine. They let me keep the costume. I figured I’d bring it out since you’ve been into ninjas lately.”
  • He won’t take it off until you stop playing the game

Yoosung:

  • There had been an LOLOL event that week, so he’d been gaming a lot
  • He was still trying to be mindful when you were there, but you seemed pretty relaxed about it
  • He knew something was up when he asked for one more round and you said you didn’t mind
  • When he stops, he crawls next to you and asks what you’re doing on your phone
  • He sees it’s a game and asks what it’s about
  • “Kissed by the Baddest Baker! It’s a dating sim. I’m on the cookie route. Isn’t this guy cute?” 
  • Oh no…Yoosung’s feeling prickly again
  • “Is this to get back at me? I promise I won’t play LOLOL for a week!”
  • You assure him it’s just a fun game
  • He thought you were done after the route, but wait…there’s other routes?!
  • He gets so jealous, so he throws on an apron that says “Kiss the Cook” and just stands in front of you
  • You oblige and kiss him…but he still finds you playing later
  • “It’s the last route, Yoosung. I promise!”

Jaehee:

  • Let’s be honest, she plays those too
  • But you didn’t know
  • One day she catches you playing “Midnight Mulan” and you just nervously chuckle
  • “I can explain–”
  • “I’m on Shang’s route.” 
  • She gives you walkthroughs or hints when you need it
  • Sometimes, to destress, you two will play together and read all the characters in funny voices
  • It really just ends up in giggle fits because you two are ridiculous

Jumin:

  • You were busy playing with Elizabeth when your phone dinged
  • You asked Jumin to check it, thinking it was just a text
  • “What is Queen’s Wardrobe?” 
  • “Oh! That’s just a dating sim I play.”
  • You can basically feel the tension reverberating off of him
  • You have to explain it’s just a game and show him how it works
  • He doesn’t understand why, but he’s okay with it
  • You notice he asks a lot of questions about it…but you can hear the jealous undertones
  • The questions grow more specific when you start smiling
  • “Oh, the guy whose route I’m on just bought the MC a cafe.”
  • He’s silent for a moment and then takes a deep breath
  • You intervene right away, “No, Jumin! Please don’t get a cafe!”


Seven:

  • He noticed a new notification sound on your phone that would go off around every two hours
  • You would disappear a few minutes and then come back
  • He thinks nothing of it until you’re in the store and another girl had the same sound go off
  • You and the girl exchange glances and laugh is this a girl code?
  • He prepares himself, and when the notification goes off, he grabs the phone before you can
  • “What is Eerie Emails?”
  • You have to explain that it’s a dating sim set up like a messenger app with chats every two hours
  • You start showing him the character
  • He points to the one with the glasses (which you say is your favorite)
  • “This looks like me!”
  • “Really? I don’t think so.” 
  • When he finds out that your favorite character has a conflict with his twin sister, he’s so done
  • He keeps making the server crash
  • You get disappointed every time the app crashes and ask if he can fix it
  • He just shrugs, “Why don’t you ask your mysterious IT guy?”

Check out our other headcanons~ Masterlist

anonymous asked:

If you find the energy and willingness to do so, I'm super interested in why you don't agree with Dean being a closeted queer person. (Not trying to start anything, I'm genuinely interested.)

Sure! Well, “closeted” is a word that I don’t find particularly fecund in an analysis, or in general, because “being closeted” has meaning in relation to something - like, for instance, you’re closeted to your parents, you’re closeted in your workplace, you’re closeted to everyone outside of the internet, you’re closeted to people you’re not very close to, etc. And sure, you can be closeted to everyone on the planet, but if you exclude people who haven’t told a single soul, there is no such thing as “being in the closet” in an absolute sense. You can come out to one person and you’re not in the closet in relation to them, but still in the closet in relation to everyone else. You can come out to literally everyone you have ever had a conversation with, but technically, unless you’re going around with a t-shirt that says “I’m queer”, you are “in the closet”, as in “not out”, to a person you’re meeting or getting to know for the first time.

This said, I have seen people using that word to mean - if I’ve interpreted it correctly - that Dean is either a) in the closet in relation to everyone; b) closeted to himself, so to speak, as in, he doesn’t realize and/or acknowledge and/or accept that he’s not heterosexual.

I don’t agree with either. Now, I’m gonna put here the disclaimer that this is my interpretation since Dean’s bisexuality/queerness is not stated textually in the show thus we’re talking on a level of signs and attribution of meanings (*insert something smart about semiotics*) and blah blah blah.

Allow me not to be specific with, like, references to lines spoken in the show in this post, maybe when I am done with my thesis and all will get the time to make a thorough analysis with specific references.

Now, do I think that Dean went up to his dad and told him “I like girls and guys lol”? … Nope. At all. (But being closeted in relation to someone doesn’t really mean anything. Being out isn’t an all or nothing thing. You can go to pride parades wearing feathers and still keep it hidden from your dad. There are people who wait for their parents or grandparents to die before publicly coming out or transition. It’s complex.) Do I think Dean went up to Sam or Bobby and told them “I like girls and guys”? I don’t think so, as in, I don’t think he gave them a speech about being bisexual, but I think that both Sam and Bobby have at least a partial sense of Dean’s not-heterosexuality. Has Dean let his queerness known to people outside his family? Sure he has. On the top of my head, I can think of: Ash, Frank, Charlie (all hackers and queer or queer-coded, there is a pattern of association between hacking and queerness, but this is a thought for another day); Crowley was exchanging innuendo with him after 0.2 seconds of meeting and, well, Crowley has gotten to know Dean pretty intimately; and let’s be real there are characters who just looked at him and caught up because of reasons (Gunner Lawless comes to mind, I guess Aaron Bass, pretty sure Max Banes) and people who assumed and used it against him (the Campbells come to mind, no wonder the poor guy built 5739 walls around himself in season 6 and at some point was like “I was busy having sex with women”). It’s also implied that both he and Garth knew what the Purgatory in Miami was and that Dean expected Garth to get the joke, and Garth is another character that knows Dean beyond the façades. And then there’s a constellation of tiny moments that don’t mean anything on their own but in the context of what we know about Dean fit in the picture, like Jenna Nickerson feeling comfortable mentioning the first girl she’d kissed after knowing Dean for a short while.

At this point we’re left with “does Dean know he’s not straight” and, well, at this point it’s obvious but the thing is: Dean takes pride in his being anti-normative. Unlike Sam, he embraces his underclass identity, his not-normal identity. He acknowledges he’s a freak ever since day 1, and while he has heavy issues with the loneliness that comes with it, he uses it as an important brick in the construction of his identity. May I refer you to this conversation I had with @aslightsgoflashing and @f-ckyeahfutbol that touches this very topic.

Now, Dean’s relationship with his sexuality is extremely complex - we need, for instance, to count his experiences with sexual assault into it (I mentioned season 6 before, which also happens to be where he gets assaulted by a man in a sexually charged context, while I believe the other instances of sexual assault on him are carried out by women). Dean lives a life where is body is a) a commodity for the job, b) always at risk of being violated (in multiple ways, from wounds to possession). He’s always walking on a line between protecting his body and weaponizing it (it’s not a coincidence his body has been used as bait so often) and he that goes with sexuality too. He’s vocal in expressing knowledge of obscure kinky sexual practices, talking about how he’ll “try everything once” or whatever (but enjoying wearing pink panties is a secret…).

He builds his identity is a complex, ambiguous, ever-changing relationship with his body and his sexuality, and there’s nothing about him that suggests to me that he lives in a bubble where he doesn’t know he’s queer. Maybe he didn’t always (or ever) had the correct terminology for it or really conceptualized it, but in his twenties the guy knew his Pink Flamingos references (and Sam didn’t).

I think that among the reasons why Dean isn’t throwing himself at Cas’ feet and declaring his undying love for him, the fact that Cas has a dude body is, like, the last one on the list. I mean, I’m not saying he does not perceive men and women differently - he has different ways of relating to men and women due to the overwhelmingly homosocial context he’s lived pretty much his entire life, although he’s clearly developed a less sexist way of relating to women through the years - but his reluctance in opening himself to Cas is not due to some “gay panic” thing. I mean, it would be pretty diminishing to read it as just that.

So… well, these are my two cents on the topic :)

Not dealing with your shit

I had a migraine, and he was doing the “too slow” thing old men sometimes do when they flirt with me at work. He holds out his ticket, I reach for it, it pulls it away. Repeat. I was trying not to hurl from my headache, and the second time, he says “You gotta be faster than that, girly.” [Note: I’m transgender, I’m not a girl. Hence why I’m conforming to the male dress code for my work (short hair, no make up, ect). I can’t wear a binder because my job can be too physical]
I was not in the mood to deal with him, so I just stared at him for a moment and then turned to the next customer.
Me: *super sweet Customer Service Voice™* “May I take your ticket, sir?”
Next customer: *obviously trying not to laugh*
First guy: Oh come on, don’t be like that.

It’s the closest I’ve gotten to petty retail revenge, so I’m proud of myself

3 Years (John x Reader)

Word Count: 3,977

Warnings: Swears, Alcohol, Smut (It’s hella fluffy smut)

Authors Note: So we hit 800? I’m dying I love you guys so much I don’t deserve any of you. Anyways, I wanted to celebrate this milestone with some smut yeah? lol. Get ready, it’s so sweet you could get a cavity. Big thanks to @adolescenthowell for dealing with my smut writing process shit. Go follow her! I LIVE TO HEAR FEEDBACK FROM YOU GUYS AND I LOVE TO JUST HEAR FROM YOU IN GENERAL. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Requests:  Reader x Laurens where they go out with the squad and reader looks really hot and Laurens whose like in love with reader can’t control himself and maybe leads to smut if you’re ok with that

John Laurens + reader teasing him while they’re at a bar?

Masterlist

Friday night meant going out with your friends for drinks, especially after you had met Alexander. You and Alex had met in college and after that you two hit it off instantly, doing everything together. You would be lying if you said you two hadn’t hooked up once or twice but you both mutually agreed that you two were better off as friends, you even helped snag Eliza for him. Being friends with Alex meant being friends with his friends, and thankfully they all liked you. All but one. John Laurens. For some reason, you two had created a friendship of your own filled with nothing but dry, sarcastic humor that nobody seemed to understand. You greeted him with insults and he would happily take them and throw one back at you.

You stepped into the taxi and gave the driver the name of the bar as you smoothed out your barely there dress. The forest green silky fabric felt like air to your skin, and you had to make sure you had actually worn clothes out. If the short length wasn’t enough, the dress also was backless as the fabric in the back started below your ribcage. You didn’t know why you had chosen to wear that dress. On Friday nights you had usually opted for a pair of jeans and a nice top but today you felt like dressing up a bit more, and you were definitely feeling yourself. The taxi came to a screeching halt in front of the bar, and you thanked the driver as you handed him a ten dollar bill. You swung your legs out of the cab and gracefully stood up as the New York City breeze hit your body. You smoothed out your hair before walking into the bar.

Keep reading

Dress code

I got dress coded because my bra strap was showing and too much of my shoulders were showing, So while teacher was talking to me my BFF looked around and saw a our friend Brandon (he’s the hot guy in our class)who has muscular arms and shoulders so she tipped on that teachers shoulders and shouted “OMG!! BRANDON’S SHOULDERS ARE TOO SEXY FOR MY BRAIN TO WORK!!!! HE HAS TO COVER UP AND PUT A PAPER BAG ON HIS HEAD OR ELSE I GET DISTRACTED!” Brandon saw her staring and shouted"I DIDN’T MEANT TO BE DISTRACTING FOR GIRLS IN PUBERTY" the teacher just was really angry and was about to shout when my French teacher (his wife) came and whispered him “If you don’t shut up about the whole bra strap, Shoulder and collarbone dress code for girls then I will make you pay. A lot.” He calmed down looked terrified and left. Was a good day.

The Whole Gang Likes You

Request: Headcanons about the whole gang liking you

- The Curtis brothers at dinner one night all confessed they liked you. “I have to tell you guys something that I need to get off my chest.” Sodapop blurted out. Darry nodded motioning for Soda to continue. “Well I uh really like y/n!” Pony’s eyes widened, “No you can’t! I like her too and you’re not going to ruin this for me!” Darry began blushing scarlett at the mention of your name. Pony glared, “Wait you too?! The first girl I actually like, and you guys like her too?!” Soda smiled sheepishly, “I guess it’s just a Curtis thing?”

- Two-Bit doesn’t hold back and flirts with you every chance he gets.

- Johnny just keeps to himself, except for Dallas who admits he likes you too. They decide that both of them can’t date you, because of bro code but they always talk about you together.

- Steve is an attention whore when you’re around, and does everything to keep you focused on him.

- Pony always gives you stuff like drawings or poems or invites you to hang out, and is a huge suck up/kiss ass.

- Steve and Sodapop arm wrestle or have little competitions over who gets to ask you out. They always end up being tied and are always competing.

- Darry’s the only one actually old enough to ask you out, and he does.

- Everyone’s pissed that your Darry’s girlfriend and not their own. So they always prank him to make up for it.

What's more annoying? Answering phone calls or repeatedly checking your voicemail?

Some backstory: I’m the only female in an office full of men, and we have a bit of a weird situation with technically 4 different companies operating out of the same space. Anyway, it is up to myself and to one other guy to answer the phones. He’s somewhat new but it has been explained to him multiple times that this is part of his job when it’s clear (due to area code or company name) that it is for the company he works for. I’m making an assumption here but he’s not happy about it and me thinks he has figured that since I’m the only girl, I should be the defacto receptionist for the entire office. It is a bit of a boys club and gender stereotypes sometimes play out. For what it’s worth, I’ve also had a few conversations with him to PLEASE answer the phones when I’m out of the office or when I’m on another line, but he just won’t do it. It’s infuriating. He just lets it go to voicemail even though there are like 5 people here working away. So not only does it ring 6 times, annoying everyone, that client or colleague that was calling got shuffled to voicemail during business hours.

So, we have one general voicemail message that I have to record for when no one answers the phone that lists the folks in the office and an extension to get directed to that person’s individual voicemail. At the end, I include a “for all general inquiries, please dial 107”, which is my mailbox extension. Well, today I changed this general inquiries extension to his mailbox. So now, every time his lazy, entitled ass doesn’t answer the phone, the likelihood of him getting a voicemail has gone way up. TAKE THAT!

This happened to me earlier, I shared it with my Facebook friends and some have shared it to raise awareness. Hopefully this can be helpful the next time someone is in trouble.

So I’m at the Walmart returning something when this girl comes up to me and gives me a hi and a smile and we start making small talk, how’ve you been, that sort of thing. I couldn’t tell if I knew her or not because I’ve met a lot of people here and there, I felt bad because I couldn’t place her for the life of me.

Then she said she wants to show me her new dog, and I see she pulled up a text message and wrote, “Help me the man in a brown is bothering me I’m scared” and I’m thinking oh shit, nope, this is not happening, it stops now.

So I grabbed her by the shoulders and said, “It’s so great that we can be friends after the breakup, I still care about you very much!” She looks bewildered (she didn’t expect another girl to say this to her), and the guy looked shocked, shook his head, and walked away. I told her I’d walk her to her car and put my arm around her. The guy was in the parking lot walking away so he didn’t follow us.

I made sure she was in her car and told her sorry if I made her uncomfortable but she was more shaken by the guy, she said he’d been following her around the store, asking her if she wants to go back to his house, if she’s wearing panties, and other, sicker things. She’s 19 and lives nearby, going to school, and I told her she’s very smart for what she did. She says she saw a tip to avoid creeps like that online and it worked, I’m glad it did.

Creeps are everywhere.

Ok, so, a friend of a friend was at some fancy schmancy party in NY, and she was getting majorly creeped on by two older guys- they had her basically cornered and she was getting really uncomfortable. So, she scans the room, and who does she see but motherfucking Aziz Ansari. She makes a solid moment of ‘Dude help me’ eye contact, and Aziz comes over to her - this person he has never met in his life - and he’s like 'Hey girl! Been so long, what’s up!’ and gets her away from them. He then proceeds to check on her a few times for the rest of the party to make sure the creepers don’t come back.

Tldr, Aziz knows girl code and is an A+ person.

Being Best Friends with Alex Would Include...

Description: Being best friends with Alex in which you’re both bisexual.

Request: none

Pairings: reader x Alex (platonic), Alex x Justin

A/N: Thank you so so much for 1k! I love you all. Also, as usual, gif is not mine. Also I know these are everywhere, but I don’t care.

Warning: none that I can think of (please let me know if this needs to be changed)

Originally posted by yossiacar

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The Serpent and the Bulldog - Reggie x Reader

Reggie x Reader

Masterlist

@idle-lanes @sgarrett49

Word Count: 3780

Warnings: Slight language

I decided to do a small Reggie Mantle series. It will probably only be 3 parts. Hopefully you guys like it. FYI - I will be doing another part to both Battles and Hidden Rooms - some of you were asking. Thanks for reading!


You bit your lip while thinking about it. You were getting somewhere with him. He was more emotional than you had originally thought, but still scared that he wouldn’t understand - that instead he would just think you were crazy.

“Y/N…hello?”, Reggie waved his hand in front of you.

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Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)

—  Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
Not All Wounds Heal (Part 6/?) (Avengers x reader)

Part 5

“You can’t heal everything, (Y/N),” Steve eventually spoke again, “not all wounds heal.  I’m sure that Tony would agree if he knew you were offering this.”

“Dammit, Steve, why can’t you just say what you want to say? What’s holding you back?  Tell Sam to mind his own business and grow a pair, already.”

“Wow, I’ve forgotten how blunt you can be.  But, okay, fine,” he finally relented quietly, “will you help Buck, (Y/N)?  It would mean…it would mean everything to me if you would try.”

“Yes, Steve, I’ll try. Thank you for deciding that you can trust me.”

“Okay…great,” he sighed, and the relief in his voice didn’t escape you at all; you had been right and he wanted to ask, but now that the words were out and you had agreed, he had no idea why he thought it would be so difficult.  “I’ll make arrangements to bring you here-“

But I have one condition.”

“Okay?”

“When I’m done, and when I’ve healed his mind, you all come home.”

“(Y/N), it’s not that simple-“

“But it can be,” you argued.  “You’re all just making it too difficult.  You’re all letting your pride and hurt feelings get in the way.  It’s time to grow up and fix this.  Agree, Steve, or I stay here, and your best friend gets frostbite.”

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Me and My Shadow, a Freshman Story

Alex couldn’t remember applying to Elsewhere University, that’s how it worked sometimes, but the course he was accepted on was perfect for him. He loved the feel of the liberal arts college, but their Computer Sciences department had a great reputation too, he wasn’t sure how he hadn’t been rooting for this school all along.

The suggestions for living on campus seemed a little silly, he mulled over them a few times, puzzled by the descriptions of salt and iron, and outright baffled by the need to use a fake name.  He spent the summer determined to ignore them. He would be a voice of reason amongst the student body, he thought, as he imagined parading around with his real name printed on a teeshirt, emblazoned on his backpack. Nevertheless, as the day of his departure grew ever closer, he relented, and packed a handful of iron washers, a large canister of salt, and a thesaurus to pick a name from. If he had to live by a pseudonym for the next 3 years, he wanted an impressive one. Alex hadn’t been popular at school, much more of a wallflower than the centre of any social circles. This year would be different, he wanted a name that stood out, a name that would bring an air of mystery.

By the time he set foot on campus, Alex was Shadow, and Shadow was cool.

The first few weeks of school, Shadow managed to keep his social profile higher than he ever had before. Parties every week, no embarrassing stories to follow him from high school. It was the best few weeks of his life and, while the following weeks never quite compared, Shadow built up a reputation. The cost, however, was his grades.

The first few projects Shadow handed in were graded poorly. He fought the feelings of embarrassment at the idea of failing, he had never gotten less than an A in his life, even at Elsewhere, it only took a couple of months before he was called before his Professor.

“ Look, Shadow. I didn’t want to say anything, I actually thought you had been taken. It was a bit early, but then thats when the most simple mistakes are made, but I had a quiet word with a few people and I hear you just aren’t putting the work in.”

Shadow was glowing scarlet. This wasn’t what he wanted, he had made a crucial mistake.

“ I’m sorry Professor, I really am. It’s all just been a bit overwhelming and I lost track of priorities, I’ll try harder.”

The Professor seemed unconvinced.

“ I want to give you a second chance Shadow,’ he removed and started polishing his silver glasses.

“ You’re grades have really suffered, it will take a lot of work to get back up to an acceptable level.”

Shadow was in full panic mode, he needed a second chance.

“ Can I redo the projects?” He gasped. They had a week free for study coming up, he could sacrifice his time then as a lot of his friends were heading home.

“ I will let you hand them in if you manage but, I have to say Shadow, it’s a lot of work, I don’t know if you have time.”

They agreed that the Professor would grade the papers again, on a reduced scale. It wouldn’t get him anything resembling an A level score, but he might scrape by with something respectable. He ran full sprint to the library, setting himself up in the computing department.

The EU Library was odd, but the computing department at Elsewhere University Library was odd in it’s own special way. Each shelf had a locked door, able to be opened only on presentation of a special ID card (made of iron, naturally). Apparently the campus had an ongoing issue with books about technology being vandalised at night. Far at the end of the room, one cabinet was sealed with, apparently, no lock at all. He asked in the first week about that shelf, the Librarian mumbled “Those books aren’t finished yet,” and somehow escaped from sight.

He gathered what he needed for his first project of the year, and got to work. It had been a couple of hours when someone came and sat across from him at the table, a young man, around his age, black hair, smart clothes. A few moments later, Shadow noticed the student was not doing work.

“ Can I help you?” he asked, looking up from his book.

“ No, but I think I can help you,” he replied. “ If you go upstairs to the 12th floor, theres a room. 17c. Time works weirdly in there, its good for concentration or something. “

“ I’m fine here,” Shadow mumbled, mildly irritated at the interruption.

“ Someone is about to come in and clean, it’s gonna get loud.” the stranger added. Shadow took the bait and packed up his stuff.

Shadow was sure there had only been 9 floors to the Library, but there it was, the button for floor 12.  17c was creepy. A single room, with a single desk. Olive green walls and a single pendant lamp with a heavy shade, making a spot of light on the floor and sending the dark corners into wild shapes.

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6

BRIAN MAY

Famous For: His unique, distinctive tone. His unique, distinctive Red Special guitar. Brian’s one of those guys who sounds like no one else, and no one else sounds like him. Extremely memorable riffs and solos that have become part of a generation’s collective consciousness. Being universally liked by all guitarists. Is that a fair statement? In a world where we all like some players and dislike others, I’ve never encountered a guitar player who didn’t like Brian May. Have you?

Infamous For: A distinct lack of infamy. In a world where Jimi choked to death on vomit, Jeff is a recluse, Eric’s life is a virtual Greek tragedy, Pagey indulged in excess and debauchery like a Roman Emperor — on both the Rise and the Fall of his empire — where Ritchie’s moody, sullen, difficult to work with, Bolin dies with a needle in his arm, Eddie acts like a eight-year-old girl whenever he fires a singer, Michael sabotages his career at every turn, and Yngwie’s ego has its own zip code, Brian May is a notorious good guy. Everyone genuinely likes him. There’s not a lot to pick on. About the worst thing you can say about Brian is that he wore clogs and frilly blouses in the 70s!