he's such a lucky bastard



(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lg6xSjVX38M)



Teenage overwatch AU
  • Tracer: the poster girl, the cheery girl that is always making everyone smile. Always knows the right amount to help but not enough to make you feel stupid. She invites people out jogging all the time, no one ever shows up to her races though because theyre all terrified of her girlfriend
  • Lucio: the musical one, always got his earphones in. Buys really expensive musical equipment and somehow never needs money. His grades have gone to shit but he's been picked up by a some musical college (lucky bastard)
  • D.va: pro gamer and rich daddy, aces school despite skipping tons of classes. Spends entire weekends in her room with Lucio. Are they dating? No they just really like eachother... It's totally platonic... Mostly
  • Junkrat: fucking mess off a human being. Lives mostly off of stolen food but trust me, he's not short of stolen money. Works as an auto-mechanic for fun with Roadhog. No one's knows what Symmetra see's in him.
  • Symmetra: Moved here from afar and has her own apartment. Basically a kid mastermind who dreams of being an architect. No one knows where exactly she came from but she receives money to study abroad. Junkrat is asked to wash himself before he's allowed to enter her apartment every day. Very clean and neat anD NO THAT ISNT A HICKEY ON HER NECK!! DONT LOOK!!
  • McCree: orphaned from a young age and recently adopted by the Amari family. Rides an obnoxious chopper motorcycle everywhere. He gets along amazing with everyone who doesn't try to threaten his little sister. What about his mom? Trust me, she can defend herself.
  • Pharah: Military daughter. Mom's almost always out so basically raised herself. Stong and independent from a very young age and wasn't sure about adopting an older brother till she met him. Now they're inseparable. Secretary crushes over Genji's girlfriend.
  • Hanzo: one of the son's of the Shimada family. Probably the shadiest of family as well. Really good at school though and leads the photography club. He's also pretty fucking good at it so no one complains. No one's knows much about him, well... Except his secret boyfriend.
  • Genji: The better known son of the Shimada family. Majors in athletics and teaches the other kids parkour in his free time. People are starting to suspect he isn't human with how good he is. He can be a little violent but Mercy keeps him in check and she is the light of his life. They talk for hours everyday. Double dates with Tracer and Widowmaker are often scheduled.
  • Mercy: This girl has her life in check! She's doing well in school, always seems to be organised and also dates one if the hottest guys in the athletics group. Everyone envies her but they all know how hard she works so no one is jealous. Everyone assumes she is super innocent but they couldn't be more wrong. There is mass panic whenever she talks about her sex life with her friends.
  • Zarya: strongest, gayest, and scariest woman around. Scares off grown men and women with her looks. Training for the whatever competition is next. She's either in the gym or helping out her "friend" Mei with some resurch. She keeps denying it but there's absolutely something going on there. Meanwhile Mei never comes outside so no one has really seen her but they've seen pictures. How can someone as big as Zarya date someone so small!!?
  • Widowmaker: French. Hot. Terrifying. She always wears super tight clothing (party on tracers request). Everyone is scared of her. Once she opens up to someone she will do whatever they ask as long as they keep a secret for her. No one's knows what the secret is because everyone is too afraid to tell. With murder anyone who threatens her friends, but she doesn't have many. The only people she really trusts and Mercy Tracer and Genji. And judging by some of the sounds that come out of her room over the weekend, she must really REALLY trust Tracer.
Married But Not Dating

25 Days Christmas Romance Challenge || Day 8

Character A’s ex will be at the Christmas Party A is attending. Character B poses as A’s fiance. (kinda)

(header by the incredibly sweet and talented @katie-dub)

Married But Not Dating; ~ 2, 200 words; FF.NET || AO3

Now, don’t get him wrong, Killian Jones is a lucky bastard and he knows it.

He has known it since the day Emma Swan almost broke one of his ribs with her elbow and spilled his scalding coffee all over his pristine pinstriped shirt, giving him a first-degree burn. Well, alright, he didn’t feel extremely lucky in that particular moment. But he began to change his tune on the very next day when he went to get his daily dose of caffeine (careful to look both ways for wild blondes sweeping down everyone in their path) and found her waiting outside the coffee shop where she’d crashed into him the day before, twiddling her thumbs and glancing somewhat apprehensively in all directions.

The second she saw him is still the only time in his life he has seen a person cringe in relief. She was apologetic yet defensive, sincere yet standoffish, uncomfortable yet utterly (adorably) determined to buy him a coffee and a new shirt.

He, being the ass that he is on occasion, managed to stretch her simple attempt to make amends into a proper coffee date, followed by a walk to the harbor, and a day of shopping, at the end of which he didn’t actually let her purchase any of the shirts he picked but managed to talk her into getting herself a stunning pink dress, that Emma kept insisting she had nowhere to wear since it was too elegant for her everyday needs and too innocent for her perp-catching needs (the reason behind their entire ‘meeting’ he found out).

And since then, for some unknown reason, lucky bastard that he mentioned he is, Emma Swan decided that they should make a thing out of their coffee/shopping… thing.

Which then turned into a movie night thing and a dinner thing and a theater tickets thing and a concert tickets thing and a ‘Killian, I know it’s 3am on a Tuesday night but my car won’t start’ thing and an ‘Emma, I know it’s 8am on a Sunday morning but we need to go to this fair’ thing and a book exchange thing and a ‘Killian, my fridge broke, come help me eat all the food’ thing and a ‘Killian, you need to come pick a new fridge with me ‘cause I get bored in appliances stores’ thing and a ‘No, Emma, I don’t own a TV, what’s so difficult to understand’ thing and a ‘Emma, I have no idea how I turned this router off but I certainly cannot turn it back on’ thing and a reading the book and then watching the movie only to hate on it together thing and a making cookies at 2am despite the fact that we have 3 hands, no butter and no knowledge or experience in baking between us and a ‘my apartment has cockroaches, Emma, I’m coming over’ thing or a ‘There’s no water in the building, Killian, I’m coming over’ thing and a Halloween party thing and a drunken night of tragic backstories thing and a Christmas shopping thing and a sober night of holiday planning.

Keep reading

Just a little reminder

That once upon a time, Helen (whatever her maiden name is) O’Donoghue went on a first date with this guy:

Who grew up to be this guy:

So maybe give that shy, scrawny, hasn’t-grown-into-his-nose-yet, theater geek a chance, ladies.  You just never know.


Mark eventually comes over with Jack and squeals when he sees Bethany. “God its been forever Darling. And I see youve got yourself a dog!!” She slings an arm around Jack and grins. “And hes a cutie, too! You lucky bastard~”

Imagine being angry at Dally:

“Screw you Dally!” You growled, picking up your alarm clock and chucking it in his direction; he dodged it effortlessly. “You’re an asshole, get out of my house and get out of my life!”

He had a look of anger as sauntered over toward you, his arms reaching out to grasp your cheeks with careful urgency, forcing you to look into his eyes.

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere, Doll. You better get used to it, you can’t get rid of me that easy” He picked you up in his arms, hoisting your legs around his waist and pressing you up against the wall. “Get used to it, real good”

He never said “I love you” but the way he looked at you, you could tell he did.

He held you like you were made of porcelain, and he looked at you as if you were the rarest diamond in the world and he was the lucky bastard to find you.

He’s married, he thought to himself as he lit the cigarette comfortably placed between his lips, and took a long drag before huffing out the smoke into the air in a small cloud. “Fuck,” he mumbled, a smile beginning to form. “Fuck!” He was laughing now, something which he knew he had to provide some context for the other person. “If you need to ask, Paul from 4B—” He gestured to the building behind them. “—is cheating on his wife. And I happen to be the last lucky bastard he sleeps with before she files for a divorce.”

The Big Bad Wolf 7 - Appetites

Kai poured the stolen rum over the bananas he had painstakingly sliced in Worm’s Tupperware container.
“You are one lucky bastard, Fat Maggot.” He slid the make-shift bowl towards the raccoon, watching as she dug her little paws into the bananas and slurped up the rum. He didn’t know if raccoons were supposed to have alcohol, but Worm had developed a taste for rum that rivaled that of Jack Sparrow. And so far, she seemed to be doing just fine. Flopping on her side, the fur-ball rolled onto her back and let out a high pitched purr, staring blankly at the wall. Worm loved her rum, and she obviously didn’t mind being drunk as a sailor either.
Pouring himself a shot of whisky, Kai threw back the liquor, wincing at the bitterness as it scorched and slithered down his throat.
“Damn.” He shook his head, shaking off the burn. “I’m telling you, Worm, that girl was kinky as fuck. Even for me.”
The raccoon was ignoring him, rolling herself over the countertop like a croissant. Kai grabbed an apple and sat down at the table, pulling his hunting knife from his boot. When he didn’t have a belt to latch it onto, this was the next best thing. Unsheathing the blade, he sliced the fruit into eight pieces—just the way Alice used to do—then grabbed the peanut butter jar from the edge of the table. As soon as he unscrewed the lid Worm seemed to come back to life, hopping off the countertop and pouncing onto the other chair—her stepping stone to the table.
“Yeah, yeah, chill out, you greedy little shit.” Kai scooped out a glob of the peanut butter and spread it over the apple before handing it to his pet vermin. She frantically licked away the condiment before nibbling at the apple, a satisfied gurgle rumbling from her chest.
After helping himself to several slices overpowered by double the amount of peanut butter, Kai grabbed his whisky bottle and took a swig, not bothering to use the glass this time. “Don’t look at me like that,” he warned as the raccoon eyeballed him for more food. That, or she was silently judging him. “It’s not like I paid for a hooker.”
When he got no response, Kai flopped back against the backrest of his chair, despair setting in. He really had hit rock bottom; he was talking to a trash panda about his sex life. How much worse could it get?
Kai thought back to his escapades in the underbelly of Cache Creek. Part of him enjoyed the seedy side of the town—the bar fights, the easy women, the cheap liquor and shit food. He had everything he needed: an outlet for his aggression, a quick and dirty lay, alcohol to settle the nerves, and greasy fuel for his body.
And this is what he came home to: a bag of stolen apples, a jar of peanut butter, and a fat, drunk raccoon who didn’t understand rationing and just kept getting rounder by the day. It was all he needed in life, so long as he was left alone by the rest of human society. The men he beat up never came looking for revenge; the women he fucked never came looking for a name; and the barkeep never bothered collecting for his tab. Kai always paid up, sooner or later. And that was enough to keep trouble off his back.  Despite a history spattered with violence and delinquency, he was more honest than the best of them, and he always kept his word—whether it was a promise or a threat.
But for the most part, Kai just kept to himself. He didn’t care to build social circles or conquer the Underbelly and name himself king. He enjoyed the quiet bliss of his little shack as much as he enjoyed the sex, booze and bar fights. And a snuggle from an unusually flirtatious raccoon never hurt either.
When all was said and done, there was very little that Kai actually wanted from life. He had no ambitions, no goals, no stars to set his sights on. But there was something else—a hunger he could not satiate. Or perhaps hunger wasn’t the right word; it was more like an emptiness, a lack—like something was missing even though he could never pinpoint what it was. His memories had long returned, and his days with therapists and prescription ADHD medication long over. He had no quarrel with how things had played out on the outside. After all, this was very likely what he deserved. But despite his lack of ambition, despite bearing no thirst for anything more than the immediate gratification of his whims, he found himself in a perpetual state of searching, of walking in circles and yet remaining convinced that he was on the right path—that he had latched on to the scent of that illusive something and was trailing close behind, nipping at its heels.
Still, he never seemed to find it. Every now and again its scent would waft by, and he’d jump into pursuit, only to end up exactly where he started. He’d told himself it was his imagination—that he was getting far too caught up in those volatile feelings people often got swept up by. Still, he couldn’t seem to stop. Like a phantom passing through a corridor in the dead of night, it never failed to both terrify and intrigue him.
Something had its hook in him, and whatever it was, it refused to let go. It wanted to be found, and yet it hid from him with the stealth of a skilled huntress. It was frustrating, and yet it gave Kai some elusive sense of meaning. While survival was an inborn instinct he couldn’t shake, no matter how desolate and depraved his life became, it was this intangible something that gave him a thread to cling to—something beyond his basest drives.
Perhaps it was the very thing that kept drawing him to the Underbelly—to the fights and the shenanigans, the escapades with insecure, lonely women. There was something there, hiding under the surface. It was waiting to be excavated, but only by one.
His name was Kai, and he lived in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere with a fat, drunk raccoon named Worm.

Sans, you gotta stop always having that shit eating grin on while the rest of your face does another expression. It makes you look a little creepy. 

Have some Feeling Bonely Soriel from @zeezeepearl fic. It’s about time I drew these two. Tori has pulled Sans into an unexpected hug and he’s getting a face full of boob. Don’t worry, they both like it. 


Sans approves. 


In spring of 1955, the Ferrers went to Italy and reoccupied the charming house in Albano, twenty miles outside Rome, where they had spent their honeymoon. One of their visitors was Jeremy Brett, who was playing Audrey’s younger brother in War and Peace

“When I arrived at their house,” recalled Brett, shortly before his death in 1995, “Mel met me and under his right arm popped a little girl with no makeup who looked about sixteen years old — an exquisitely delicate, porcelain doll. I was spellbound. I remember swimming with them and banging my head on the side of the pool because I was so busy looking at her.” — excerpted from the book: Audrey Hepburn by Barry Paris

Do you ever think about the moment that Han Solo realized just how much he cared for Luke? The moment he realized he didn’t want to lose him, would to anything in his power to save him?
I do. You can argue that he went back to the Death Star because it was the right thing to do, that Luke’s words got to him and I will agree with you any day of the week
But on Hoth? Running into the freezing cold, looking for a boy that may very well be dead if not worse and risking his life, most likely going straight to his death for some kid?
That’s not the Han Solo way.
When he was told Luke hadn’t come back I think that’s when it clicked for him. He couldn’t lose Luke. And because he’s a lucky bastard he saved both their lives.
Han Solo was scared that the moment he realized how much he cared for and loved Luke was the moment he may have lost him. I think about that a lot

anonymous asked:

"I dragged him back to our bedroom and let him fuck me from behind very slowly " ... alright! Just don't drop something like that without warming up first, baby.... I need my sleep. I see Mickey got a gift too in the end. I can even see his smiling face from here. Happy that he got the gift right, happy that he got those bastards, happy he just so lucky... 😘

Haha. Well then I better not tell you how he got me nice and ready to take him again. Sorry! Don’t want to ruin your sleep 😴😴😴
I think we are both very happy right now. I know I am. I hope Mickey is.