he's such a drunk

Marauders Headcanon #13

-James was a happy drunk. It didn’t take much to get him tipsy, and once he was, he would giggle about nothing, dance to songs that had stopped playing an hour ago, go on rants about how much he loved the color green, wrap his arms around his friends and beam, or lay with his head on Lily’s lap and go on for hours about how ‘I really really love you, Lils.’

-Remus was a reckless drunk. He could hold alcohol better than any of the others, but once he was drunk, he was drunk. He would completely loose his filter, which lead to James learning way more about how Remus and Sirius passed time alone than he ever wanted to know, Peter getting roped into trying to steal the sorting hat from Dumbledore’s office, and the infamous streaking incident of 1977. After the first few times, Remus learned exactly where to draw the line with alcohol- he hated the feeling of loosing control.

-Sirius was an emotional drunk. People who thought he was a drama queen sober had obviously never seen him after a few drinks. Remus secretly loved getting him drunk to hear him declare his love for him, or laugh at him challenging James to a battle for their honor over James telling him that he had the cuter date. However, he would instantly regret it when Sirius burst into tears because, ‘You don’t understand, Moony, he took my cupcake!’

-Peter was a philosophical drunk. He was just as much of a lightweight as James, except instead of laughing at nothing and rambling about Lily’s hair, he could be found quietly asking Remus if he believed in heaven, discussing the death penalty with a stranger, or arguing with Sirius about what the best bar food at the hog’s head was.

WE ARE FAMILY part 2

continuation of the AssCreed family sitcom (Read part 1 here)

  • Arno enters the apartment where Desmond disappeared into and he finds his friend pinned under a muscular man. Recognizing his neighbor Malik, Arno tries to stop him from harming Desmond as he quickly explains the broken elevator incident. Malik releases Desmond and apologizes for mistaking him for Altaïr. Desmond is tired of being compared to his cousin.
  • Arno receives a text from Connor saying the apartment staff already rescued them from the elevator. Since it’s still broken, he needs help taking Edward and Jacob’s drunk asses up 7 flights of stairs.
  • Desmond and Arno leave Malik’s home and they rush downstairs until they encounter Connor carrying the vomiting duo. Connor has Edward hauled over his shoulder, while Jacob smacks Connor’s butt cheeks to the rhythm of their drunk singing. Their voices echo off the thin stairway walls, waking up cranky neighbors.
  • Since Arno’s apartment is only on the 3rd floor, he lets the wasted duo sleep at his place for the night. Arno finally has his romantic dinner with Élise, but they’re joined by unexpected company. Edward and Jacob are sitting in between the couple, eating all of the food.
  • Desmond applies for a new job at a coffee shop since he lost his previous one after the bar fight. As he waits for a phone call from his employer, he’s helping Altaïr put together a toy scratcher for his cat. Altaïr’s temperamental cat poops all over Desmond’s pillow whenever Desmond forgets to clean his litter box; the deceptively intelligent feline is reflective of his owner.
  • Desmond hasn’t adjusted to Altaïr’s odd hours. He’s never seen his cousin sleep and he wonders if the man even sleeps at all. Altaïr spends his nights deciphering an artifact he received from the museum; he calls it the ‘apple of eden’.
  • As Desmond drills a screw into the kitty post, the loud noise triggers Connor’s dog to bark loudly from the apartment next door, frightening the cat into a frenzy. Desmond trips and the drill punctures a large hole into the floor; to his horror, it crumbles into a wider opening. The cat knocks over Altaïr’s precious artifact off the bookshelf and it rolls towards the hole. Altaïr swan dives across the carpet but the apple of eden falls down the hole before he reaches it. Desmond sticks his head down the opening and he gains a clear view of the apartment below them, which happens to be Malik’s living room.
  • Malik returns home after grocery shopping, eager to cook a tasty meal. He walks into his living room and he’s greeted by a head protruding from the ceiling. Malik wields a broom and whacks at the intruder. Desmond pops his head in and out of the hole like whack-a-mole.

i’m gonna just stand in my truth here and say that magnus? 100% a handsy drunk. not inappropriately so but he’ll tell a joke and have an arm draped over taako’s shoulders as he laughs. he’s talking to taako with his hands both resting on taako’s hips, he’s playing with taako’s hair - when taako’s talking to someone else magnus has his flushed face in the crook of taako’s neck giggling incoherently. magnus is a physically affectionate drunk and his hands are big and warm and full of love

Nightmare scenarios
  • John never existed. He’s a figment of Sherlock’s imagination, desperately seeking a friend and companion, because he is a drug addict who has no-one. Sherlock’s low self-esteem means that he can’t even imagine his made-up friend falling for him.
  • Sherlock never existed. John, deprived of his sense of purpose and self after being invalided home, made up a world. John really is the storyteller, and we have simply been invited to watch his story. His internalised homophobia and low self-esteem mean he can’t imagine that he and Sherlock could be together.
  • Sherlock really did die to save John, Greg and Mrs Hudson. John went mad with grief and began writing himself a world where Sherlock comes back magically from the dead. The details are nonsensical: he’s drunk a lot of the time. Or in his grief-maddened state, John shot himself but didn’t die. He’s in a coma and telling himself a story where Sherlock came back from the dead. The details are nonsensical: he’s dreaming. His internalised homophobia and low self-esteem mean he can’t imagine that he and Sherlock could be together.
  • It’s all a Holmesian game of self-awareness for Sherlock as @welovethebeekeeper told us about
  • The writers, cast and crew of Sherlock have collectively gone insane and genuinely think that TFP is good – the best they’ve ever made – and that Series 4 as a whole makes sense. TD-12 is never mentioned again. Mary’s volte-face story arc is never mentioned again. Sherlock takes a break from cases on the first Sunday of every month to visit psycho violin hug sister at the penis-shaped prison in the middle of the ocean, for the rest of time. Mummy and Daddy Holmes condescendingly pat their idiot son Mycroft’s hand as they watch their favourite monthly violin battle. Greg has a relationship simultaneously in parallel universes with Idiot Mycroft, Molly, and a brunette forensics officer. Sherlock sexts Irene and  has a relationship with Molly and with John, but no-one touches anyone else in their naughty places. If John accidentally brushes Sherlock’s hand, Sherlock’s porcelain skin hisses and burns at the brand of Mary’s ring, which John still wears. A new DVD arrives by special courier within the hour.

anonymous asked:

I came out to my house mate last night when we were talking about drunk guys in clubs and he sarcastically goes 'i mean girls obviously love when guys are stumbling and slurring right? Thats what theyre looking for?' And i says 'i mean i generally just look for a sister'

You are Sara Lance level amazing.

anonymous asked:

Oh please oh please please more Asahi headcannons. He's so under appreciated and the boy needs the love!! (Maybe like drunk asahi)

  • Has the lowest alcohol tolerance in the team. He’s usually the first person on the team to be drunk. Asahi isn’t the one to drink regularly, and usually only drinks during a special occasion.
  • He’s the type to get overly emotional when drunk. He cries, he wails, he sobs. Over what? Nothing actually. Asahi just usually feels so overwhelmed with emotions he’ll burst out in tears.
  • The team even made a nickname for him, ‘Weeping Jesus’ smh
  • He doesn’t have any alcohol that he actually likes?? Asahi can’t take the bitterness how cute.
  • He wakes up with one of the worst hangovers the next days. Expect to see puke everywhere and him groaning in bed and complaining about his headache.
  • Asahi just stuffs whatever food he sees down his throat. He doesn’t care whether it helps his hangover or not, he just eats.
  • Drunk Asahi is a MESS. That’s why he usually doesn’t drink too often.
  • Often will pet any animal he sees on the street when his drunk. He even brought one home once. He named the cat Beer. Because he was drunk and emotionally unstable.

Yuuri doesn’t remember the first time he made Victor really blush. He was drunk at that time so that didn’t really count.

The second time it happens, he almost misses it.

The thing with Victor is that he doesn’t blush often. 

His cheeks get a little rosy sometimes when he’s excited -in every way- but the real full on blush like the ones Yuuri is used to produce too frequently for his liking, it’s not something Victor’s accustomed to.

Yuuri has tried many times to make him loose his composure as retaliation because he’s kinda tired of being the only one turned into a blushy mess all the time. He tried to be sexy, tried to put everything in his bedroom eyes but his Eros didn’t get the desired outcome (well at least not in the full-blushing department).

So he’s not prepared when Yuuri -glasses on, hair down, in his everyday clothes-, puts his hand without thinking in the small of Victor’s back to guide him through a crowd and glances up at him to see if he’s alright.

He’s not prepared to the bright red cheeks, the slightly unfocused eyes and the weirdly expressionless face.

He’s not prepared to the way Victor’s body briefly shivers under his hand before it curves almost shyly in a silent prayer for more.

Yuuri’s not prepared. But he loves it.

Apparently I have a fallout save I’d completely forgotten about.
(Pretty easy when you’re me TBH.)
But his face is totally covered - goggles, surgical mask, and hat.
I kind of want to take it all away to see what’s lurking under there but at the same time, running around as a random unknown is pretty fun.
(He was at the bottom of the save pile, somehow I’ve been managing to overlook him.)

anonymous asked:

So I just imagined that Beka has this cool photoshoot contract with something like Armani or Hugo Boss, but he tries to keep it secret. One day Yuri finds out(TOTALLY IN LOVE, definitely buying whatever that Beka was modeling), but he instead of telling Otabek, he keeps the whole poster-page of a shirtless completely hot slightly smiley Beka on his bike modeling like a professional, that came in the magazine. When Beka finally sees his poster he claims that his coach got him drunk to do that

omg beka in an armani ad would destroy yuri (and me)

anonymous asked:

omg in catcher in the rye there's this part where holden sees a piano player at a club and is like "he looks gay" and then he gets drunk and starts hitting on him

happens to the best of us

anonymous asked:

Does no one care that Edd is being kinda stupid??? Tom already said that he was drunk and he didn't know what he was doing! So idk what Edd told Tord that made him so angry cause I have to say, if someone told me that my boyfriend was drunk and he had no control, yes I would be mad but not that mad! So did Edd say he did it meaningfully or did he tell the truth? Cause I feel like maybe he lied, that or Tord is just really angry it even happened -Kat

Here’s the thing, though~

Edd is an emotional state. Heartbroken from rejection. Being emotional may cause him to speak before he clearly thinks. Obviously, he may not told the whole truth, making Tord think that Tom did it to provoke him. And Tom is the one who wants to avoid any sort of conflict to happen. Which is why many people who do cheat don’t admit to it.

anonymous asked:

I'm starting to think Edd and Tord don't understand what idiotic things drunk people can do. Like really? Do they really think he would have control over what he's doing while drunk? - Tet

^^^^ This

anonymous asked:

Drunk Robert got increasingly more Yorkshire. Lol. (I love how Aaron laughed on "He's dead grumpy")

You’ve got to love drunk Robert. I loved the grumpy comment, Aaron smiled because he knew how true it was, little grump