he's so stupid oh my god

2

My heart is pierced by Cupid;

I disdain all glittering gold.

There is nothing can console me

But my jolly sailor bold.
___

I’m trying to fight my art block and I received some lovely suggestions I’m going to draw.

Mer!Hanzo and Pirate!McCree was one of these.
@rebeza and @finchworks are my inspirations and I look up to their designs and AUs ‘cause wow.

Have you ever seen a prettier Hanzo?

Oh my god, did you see this? Dean tries to wave the door open, but it doesn’t work and he’s so exasperated. Stupid door, why won’t you open? Damn it, now I have to pull it open myself. 

Stupid broken automatic door, can’t you see your own sign that says be cautious of my automatic opening grumble grumble I’ll just do it myself. Stupid, useless door… {13.05}

Can we just talk about the faces Lance makes when Keith is considering not being in Voltron?


Keith is upset, Lance is upset

When Keith enters after not showing up, everyone looks mad, but Lance looks sad and disappointed

Then when Keith is talking about leaving, he looks just so

“Wait what?”

“No…”

“Keith…”

“Please don’t go”



Then during the group hug, he looks like he’s about to break down

And starts hiding behind a smile

To me it looks like he wants to be happy for Keith and support him, but at the same time, he’s heartbroken he’s leaving

“Yeah… Who am I gonna make fun of now?”



Bonus:

When Keith is about to sacrifice himself, Lance is sweating. Now the team don’t know what he’s going to do, but by Matt’s reaction, they can tell it could be something risky

“Oh my god Keith no don’t do anything stupid”


And when Keith is safe and alive

“Heh.. I’m glad your safe Keith”


Every scene, every drawing, every face is for a reason, so they wouldn’t of just made his expressions for no reason.. right?

Who knows

Only time will tell

And the voltron writers lol


(obviously I made most of what Lance is saying up but just imagine if he had feelings for Keith

what if?)

“Prom was invented just to make girls starve so they can fit in a dress and compete over a stupid title.”

“Uh –” Derek blinks, eyes his sister dubiously, “I’m not a girl?”

Cora huffs. “Whatever.”

In the kitchen Laura bursts out laughing. “Don’t worry.” She yells. “Cora is just jealous she will have to wait five years to go to her own prom.”

“I’m not going!” Cora yells back. “Prom is stupid, I don’t even know why you’re going,” she tells Derek, “it’s not like you know how to have fun.”

Derek raises an eyebrow while Laura just laughs harder. “Oh my god.” Their older sister says. “I stay away for six months and Cora turns into a sassy queen.” She walks into the living room, pretends to wipe at her eyes. “I’m so proud.”

“You two are ridiculous.” Derek says, turning around. “And I’m just going because Erica promised to pay me. With ice cream.” Then he gives Cora a wicked smile. “That I’m not going to share with either of you.”

“You are the worst brother!” Cora yells as he begins to climb the stairs. “And I hope you fall on your ass while trying to dance!”

“Can’t hear you!” Derek’s cell begins to ring. “Too busy getting ready to prom!”

Laura lets out a high-pitched laughter. “I love you two so much.”

Derek shakes his head fondly, closes his bedroom door behind himself just as Cora tells Laura to shut up. “Hey.” He answers the phone, collapsing on his bed. “What’s up?”

“Yo,” Stiles answers, “whatcha doing?”

“Listening to my sisters fight.” He says, snorting when he hears his dad start complaining about all the yelling and ‘no, Cora, I’m not letting you go to prom, you’re thirteen!’. “I’m gonna have to check the trunk of my car tomorrow night.”

Stiles laughs. “She’s not that good.”

“If you keep teaching her, she will be.” Derek blurts out, curses himself mentally when he realizes it came out harsher than he intended.

It’s just – sometimes he can’t help it. He’s known Stiles since they were four, Cora wasn’t even born then, but one day she turned eleven and Stiles became her new favorite person. Stiles couldn’t find it funnier and took Cora as his little apprentice. He even taught her how to cheat on Mario Kart.

He’s never taught Derek that.

Derek rolls his eyes, thinks about his little sister still downstairs pouting and trying to convince their dad that she’s old enough to go out. He shouldn’t be jealous of her, but the thing is – he grew up with two sisters, he knows how to share toys and food, but he doesn’t know how to share Stiles.

Because Stiles is his.

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anonymous asked:

I wish you would write an outsider POV Sterek, maybe from their neighbor's POV?

This is embarrassing.

Holy, fuckmuffins, this is embarrassing. She should not do this. She should turn around and go back home. She should just be at home. Forever. She can order groceries from Amazon and socialize with people over the internet and she thinks she could be very happy to just live at home. It would be fun. 

Also, she would be alive. Because she is not sure she will be after all is said and done. 

She gets to their door and then seriously considers just turning around. It would make her a fundamentally bad person but she could be okay with that. 

Ugh.

No she can’t.

She takes a deep breath, wishes that Jenny wasn’t at her father’s this weekend because maybe a cute little four year old would help, and then knocks anyway. On her next door neighbor’s door. 

It had to be her next dooor neighbor. Someone who she will probably have to see again. 

And, of course, Murder Man opens it. He is already glaring at her.

He is going to kill her

“Hello?” he asks and she realizes she has just been standing there. Staring. Which, like fair, he is gorgeous but mostly she’s staring because it is just now occurring to her that she should have told someone where she is going before just coming over to share this bad news. 

“H-hi,” she says finally. “My name is Tammy and I live in number 406–right next door actually and I-I’m so sorry but I’ve just… I’ve just scratched your car.”

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anonymous asked:

hey you're really nice! have a good day

aw thanks!!

  • [pulls sheet on like a cape] “look i’m zarkon”
  • *allura voice* “so if you could please take us to your leader- paladins why are you laughing”
    • pidge: “…oh my god…………. we’re the aliens”
  • shiro purposefully cuts the right sleeves off his shirts so he can intimidate enemies with the robot arm
  • coran is the castle’s reigning video game champ
  • lance to the prisoner he just rescued: “-and hunk is the best. he’s super strong but so gentle. he’s like an enormous, muscular ellen degeneres”
  • space puns are officially banned from the castle
    • this is 30% because of lance’s bad space-themed pick up lines and 70% because of hunk
    • “hunk if you tell one more stupid joke-” “okay okay, i’ll stop, i’m… star-y”
  • keith, in galra captivity: “maybe we could blow up the hull?” hunk: “oh awesome plan! just one tiny problem (and follow me closely here the science is pretty complicated): if we blow a hole in the hull the air won’t stay inside anymore and we kinda sorta need that to live keith”
Vive el Momento (Smut)

MASTERLIST

Requested: No, but @illuminateshawn and I live for drunk, festival Mendes in that red shirt from Amsterdam.

Word count: 4,947

“Can I have three large beers, thanks” I smiled, handing the girl in front of me my money. The sun was burning into my back, heating up my entire body slowly.

“I just love this weather” my friend Julia said. She closed her eyes, tilting her head back to fully enjoy the warm rays of sun burning in her face.

“Me too” I agreed, looking around the festival filled with drunk people having fun everywhere.

To me, this was what summer was all about; heat, friends, music and beers. Actually, going to festivals was my happy place, I loved the whole idea of just letting go and enjoy yourself as much as possible; meeting new people and staying up until the early hours when the sun rose again.

“Girl, don’t look now but that guy… he’s looking again” Julia laughed, taking of her black sunglasses.

Keep reading

★*゚‘゚・The Mummy (1999)

❝ What are you doing here? ❞
❝ You must go. Save yourself. Only you can resurrect me. ❞
❝ By eating the sacred scarabs, I would be cursed to stay alive forever. And by eating me, they were cursed just the same. ❞
❝ I knew this was gonna be a lousy day. ❞
❝ Personally, I would like to surrender. Why can we not just surrender? ❞
❝ Then let’s run away. Right now. While we can still make it. ❞
❝ Now gimme your revolver, you’ll never use it anyway. ❞
❝ Let’s play dead, huh? Nobody ever does that anymore. ❞
❝ What are ya doing?! Wait up! ❞
❝ I’m gonna get you for this! ❞
❝ I’m sorry, it was an accident. ❞
❝ Have you no respect for the dead? ❞
❝ Where did you get this? ❞
❝ Two questions. Who the hell is Seti the First? And was he rich? ❞
❝ As the Americans would say: it’s all fairy tales and hokum. ❞
❝ I’m sure it was a fake, anyway. ❞
❝ You lied to me! ❞
❝ I lie to everybody, what makes you so special? ❞
❝ And what is he in prison for? ❞
❝ He said… he was just looking for a good time. ❞
❝ What did you find? What did you see? ❞
❝ Get me the hell outta here. ❞
❝ I will give you one hundred pounds to spare his life. ❞
❝ Yeah, I’d like ya to let me go. ❞
❝ Then we will kill her, we will kill her and all those with her. ❞
❝ For all the money we’re paying you, something better god-damned well be under that sand. ❞
❝ Do you really think he’ll show up? ❞
❝ Personally, I think he’s filthy, rude and a complete scoundrel. I don’t like him one bit. ❞
❝ I have come to protect my investment, thank you very much. ❞
❝ I only gamble with my life, never my money. ❞
❝ What makes you so confident, sir? ❞
❝ Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya. ❞
❝ Still angry that I kissed ya, huh? ❞
❝ The last time I was at that place everybody I was with died.  ❞
❝ By the way,… why did you kiss me? ❞
❝ You always did have more balls than brains. ❞
❝ Can you swim? ❞
❝ Americans. ❞
❝ I can’t believe the price of these fleabags. ❞
❝ All night you snored!  ❞
❝ What in bloody hell is this? ❞
❝ Ah, begging your pardon, but shouldn’t we be going? ❞
❝ You boys owe me five hundred dollars. ❞
❝ Where’d all these camels come from? ❞
❝ That thing gives me the creeps. ❞
❝ What are those mirrors for? ❞
❝ Who cares? I don’t see no treasure. ❞
❝ You’re welcome to my share of the spider webs. ❞
❝ Mummies, my good son, this is where they made the mummies. ❞
❝ Ya scared the bejeezus out of us. ❞
❝ I’ve had worse. ❞
❝ Let’s be nice, children, if we’re going to play together, we must learn to share. ❞
❝And when those dirty Yanks go to sleep – No offence. ❞
❝ We’ll sneak up and steal that book right out from under them. ❞
❝ What do you suppose killed him? ❞
❝ I believe if I can see it and I  can touch it, then it’s real. That’s what I believe. ❞
❝ Why do you like to fight so much? ❞
❝ LEAVE THIS PLACE!… LEAVE THIS PLACE DIE! ❞
❝ For them to protect it like this, you just know there’s got to be treasure down there. ❞
❝ …I am a librarian! ❞
❝ I can’t believe I allowed the two of you to get me drunk. ❞
❝ You dream about dead guys? ❞
❝ Stupid superstitious bastard. ❞
❝ Oh my god, he was buried alive. ❞
❝ What are you going to do? Shoot him? ❞
❝ Did you see that!? Grasshoppers! Billions of grasshoppers! ❞
❝ That’s one of the plagues, right? The grasshopper plague! ❞
❝ Oh thank goodness, you’re one of the Americans, aren’t you? ❞
❝ RUN, YOU SONS-A-BITCHES! RUUUUN! ❞
❝ Help me,… please,… help me. ❞
❝ No mortal weapons can kill this creature. He is not of this world. ❞
❝ You left me! You left me in the desert to rot. ❞
❝ Sweet Jesus! That tasted just like,…like… ❞
❝ You saved me from the undead. For this, I shall make you immortal. ❞
❝ There’s only one person I know who can possibly give us some answers. ❞
❝ And you think this justifies killing innocent people!? ❞
❝ Okay, let’s cut to the chase. He’s afraid of cats, what’s that about? ❞
❝ The hell with that! I’m not goin’ nowhere! We’re safe here. ❞
❝ What friend? You’re my only friend. ❞
❝ What are you looking for? Lie, and I’ll slit your throat. ❞
❝ Something about bringing his dead girly-friend back to life. He needs the book… ❞
❝ Ya know, ever since I met you, my luck has been for crap. ❞
❝ The hell with this. I’m goin, downstairs to get me a drink. You want somethin’? ❞
❝ Yeah, get me a glass of bourbon, a shot of bourbon and a bourbon chaser. ❞
❝ Jealous? You kiddin’ me? Did you see that guy’s face? ❞
❝ Is it dangerous? ❞
❝ Save the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy and steal his treasure. ❞
❝ You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself, always get their comeuppance. ❞
❝ From now on, don’t touch anything. Not a damn thing. Keep your hands off the furniture, got it? ❞
❝ He wants your heart and your brain, your liver, your kidneys… ❞
❝ I never killed a priest before. ❞
❝ Kill them! Kill them all! And bring me the Book Of The Living! ❞
❝ This just keeps gettin, better and better. ❞
❝ Death is only the beginning. ❞
❝ Well,… I guess we go home empty handed. ❞

A Definitely Incomplete List Of My Favorite Moments From The Lightning Thief (book), because I'm having Feelings
  • Percy very causally mentioning times he accidentally hit a school bus with a canon or dropped fifth graders into shark-infested water
  • Grover Underwood
  • Just everything he’s ever done
  • Percy running an illegal candy ring out of his dorm room 
  • “I was worried they found out I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the internet and were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.”
  • When Percy thought Grover was going to give him some deep, meaningful commentary on life to make him feel better but Grover just wanted Percy’s lunch
  • Percy tried so hard to do well on his Latin final and Chiron somehow thinks it’s a good idea to tell him he’s ‘not normal’ in front of the class my poor boy
  • That one part where Percy essentially went “Oh hey mom’s home!!! Better reschedule this panic attack I was having!!” 
  • When Percy did that weird hand sign (that was never explained) and the door slammed on Gabe so hard he flew up the steps
  • The fact that when Grover finally tracked Percy down he wasn’t wearing any pants. Like, there was literally no reason for him to not have the fake feet and the jeans on. No actual reason for him to be free balling it. Percy just needed a shock apparently. Showing up in the middle of a hurricane with no pants, dramatic ass satyr I love him. 
  • The SATISFYING DEATH of Gabe’s Camaro + Sally apparently learned bullfighting just in case because she truly is the best mom
  • Percy killing the minotaur with its own horn
  • Percy dragging Grover over the camp line while crying for his mom literally end me
  • You drool when you sleep.” could we get more iconic here
  • Percy teasing Annabeth about her crush on Luke
  • When Luke stole some toiletries for Percy and he got a little choked up because it was apparently the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him
  • The fact that Chiron basically told Annabeth that Percy was her destiny
  • The fact that a recovering alcoholic god of wine who hates children was deemed fit to run a camp for children
  • Not so fun: Percy, upon meeting Mr. D, immediately recognizing the signs of an alcoholic and going out of his way to sit far away from him ‘just in case’
  • The fact that everyone just expected him to hear ‘the greek gods are real’ and move on?? why would no one let this boy be in shock omg
  • Zeus apparently had a thing for the fluffy 80′s hairstyles
  • “the real world is where the monsters are” 
  • The fact that Poseidon could have claimed Percy at literally any moment but he apparently decided he really needed that dramatic reveal during capture the flag.
  • When Zeus was feeling Extra Dramatic™ after Percy’s claiming so he started making it rain inside the camp boarders and everyone was lowkey freaking out
  • When Annabeth pulls off her invisible cap and declares she’s going on the quest with him and Percy was like, beyond unsurprised that she was there and didn’t even attempt to fight her 
  • Chiron forgot to give Percy a sword from his father for like, an entire month. 
  • Grover with those freaking flying shoes oh my God
  • Annabeth blushing literally any time Luke talks to her 
  • IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND RESPECT ARGUS, HEAD OF CAMP SECURITY
  • lmao when Percy and Annabeth start bickering about something and Argus just winks at Percy because he knows
  • When they were playing hackey sack with an apple but it got too close to Grover’s mouth and he just ate the whole thing
  • The entire bus scene oh my God
  • “I was about to become the ADHD Poster Child of the Year” as he’s CRASHING A BUS
  • Annabeth on a fury’s back 
  • the explosion. just. all gr8. 
  • When Grover tries to play a path finder song and Percy just immediately slams into a tree. Also the fact that the path finder song was actually just a Hillary Duff number. 
  • “You two are giving me a migraine, and satyr’s don’t even get migraines!” 
  • Percy actually, truly trying to sell the story that the three of them are circus orphans who got separated from their ringleader 
  • Grover: hey guys this place is REALLY SHADY and we need to leave
  • Annabeth and Percy: but f o o d
  • Can you imagine walking into a store and finding your dead uncle’s body on display? Like????
  • When Medusa revealed herself and Annabeth’s running around invisible, Percy’s swinging a sword blindly and Grover’s flying around screaming and trying to whack her with a stick: everyone here is a MESS
  • When Annabeth was overly annoyed with Percy after that ordeal??? Sweetheart you fell for the trick too
  • Name something more iconic than 12 year old Percy Jackson mailing the decapitated head of Medusa to the gods on Mt. Olympus in an act of sheer pettiness. I dare you. 
  • When Percy was insisting on taking first watch while the others slept and Grover was basically like “hey kiddo listen to this” and played a song that immediately knocked him out so he could sleep all night 
  • “Percy. Say hello to the poodle.”
  • Percy seeing all the Greek creatures from the train window 
  • When Annabeth was dragging the boys to the St. Louis Arch and Percy’s claustrophobic ass Did Not Want To Get In That Tiny Elevator but he went anyway because he wanted Annabeth to be happy. That boy has had it bad since the start. 
  • “I am Echidna!”
  • “Isn’t…isn’t that a type of anteater?”
  • I HATE AUSTRALIA.” 
  • How many times has Percy actually been poisoned throughout all the series I literally want a count 
  • ‘Lemme just, uh….jump off the fucking St. Louis Arch and hope I don’t die when I hit the water.’
  • There is just something very aesthetic about Percy lighting a fire in the bottom of a river 
  • Percy’s got so much pent-up rage that he’s just immediately ready to wreck Ares upon meeting him omfg
  • THE THRILL RIDE O’ LOVE
  • Annabeth getting so worked up and flustered over going down there with Percy because it’s a love ride and Percy’s just like “you literally do not have to make this a Thing” lmao
  • Annabeth wouldn’t let Percy touch Aphrodite’s scarf because she didn’t want him getting infected by love magic but then…touched it herself lol
  • The entire sequence with the mechanical spiders and the cameras and the ride itself 
  • Percy’s plan to get off the ride!!!! He’s so smart okay can people stop calling him stupid!!! 
  • Grover trying to catch them both in mid-air but they‘re too heavy so the three of them just kind of slowly crash into one of those face-cut-out posters lol
  • Percy, turning to the camera’s broadcasting this shit on Olympus: “Show’s over! Thank You! Goodnight!” 
  • THE FUCKING ZOO BUS
  • Everything about that scene omg. The animals they had to help. Trying to convince Grover of how great he is. The baby percabeth. my h e a r t
  • “What if it does line up like the Trojan War? Athena versus Poseidon?”
  • “I don’t know what my mom will do. I just know I’ll be fighting next to you.”
  • “Why?”
  • “Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain, any more stupid questions?”
  • Do you hear that sound? That’s me, ages 13-21(+) sobbing uncontrollably oh my God I love them so much
  • ‘let’s just set a fucking lion loose in Las Vegas’ 
  • “I put a Blessing of the Wild on them, so they’ll safely find food and shelter wherever they go.”
  • “Why can’t you put on of those on us?”
  • “It only works on wild animals.”
  • “So it would only effect Percy…”
  • “HEY!” 
  • When they get to the Lotus hotel and Grover starts playing that game where the deer shoot the hunters azxjhnhdjx
  • Percy physically having to drag his friends out of there once he realized it was the lair of the lotus eaters
  • When Annabeth gave the taxi driver her lotus credit card and he started calling her “Your Highness” lmao
  • Every time in this book Percy comes close to uncovering a Dark Truth the people around him are just like “let’s not worry about that :) “ and my polite boy actually shuts up it’s so wild because I would just keep going lol
  • CRUSTY THE WATER BED SALESMAN 
  • Listen that entire scene has lowkey always been one of my Favs and I’m not even sure why but Percy chopping his head off was g r e a t
  • The entrance to the Underworld is DOA Recording Studios and I love it
  • “We, uh…all drowned in a bathtub.”
  • Poor Charon just wants his Italian suits he doesn’t need all this bullshit 
  • Grover almost getting dragged into Tartarus: not good. very bad. bad shit. 
  • Annabeth getting emotionally attached to Cerberus in the span of 3 minutes: RELATABLE 
  • ‘huh my backpack that I thought I got rid of five days ago is getting weirdly heavy, that’s not suspicious though, right?’ 
  • When Hades just starts monologue-ing about all the shit he has to put up with
  • “what kind of awful things do you have to do to get sewn into Hades underwear?” p e r c y
  • when Percy realizes the Master Bolt is in his backpack and he’s just like. tell me why. why. I’m a good person. what did I DO. 
  • When Percy has to sacrifice his mom to get Annabeth and Grover out of there I Cri Evey Tiem 
  • My cute lil’ baby yelling around on a beach to get Ares to show up 
  • ahdbsjznx when Grover gives Percy a crushed, half eaten tin can for good like and Percy is just like “Grover…I don’t know what to say.” I LOVE HIM
  • My sweet son kicking the god of war’s ass. bless. blessed on this day. 
  • The news crews who suddenly started backtracking and writing Percy as a hero 
  • Percy, choking back tears, giving Gabe’s store’s phone number out on national television and promising everyone free appliances IM STILL CACKLING I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH HE’S ICONIC 
  • Hades actually releasing Sally because he’s Not As Big Of A Dick As He Could Have Been 
  • Percy: hey I think there’s a really good chance that Kronos was behind this whole mess-
  • Zeus and Poseidon: XXX KRONOS DO NOT INTERACT XXX
  • Poseidon rolling his eyes at literally everything Zeus says and does
  • Poseidon and Percy’s whole talk omg my sweet boy just wants his dad to love him and Poseidon’s trying to figure out how to show affection when he basically signed this kid’s death sentence I’m crying 
  • A man will never satisfy me as much or in the same way as Sally Jackson murdering Gabe Ugliano did 
  • Percy was spending months of summer stressing over who the friend that’s supposed to betray him was but like…Sweetie you had exactly three (3) friends and you knew two of them weren’t gonna hurt you
  • ahbdjsnx when Percy and Luke were having their conversation in the woods and like Luke’s acting shady af the whole time but it’s literally not until he litters that Percy is like “something…is Wrong.” this boy I s2g
  • Percy getting bit by a scorpion is Not A Favorite Moment but the nymphs helping him out was 
  • Percy making his Official Decision to go home for the school year only after Annabeth reveals that he actually did talk her into trying again with her family 
  • I didn’t mean to write out a summary of the whole damn book it’s six am listen I’m just feeling nostalgia for the original series in this chili’s tonight 
  • whoops
ao3 klance fic recs

After making my way through most of the klance tag on ao3 I thought I’d share the ones that have stuck the most with me so far. honestly this fandom is a blessing, these authors are a blessing, these dumb space gays are a blessing. so in no particular order, please, have some klance;


Cheeky by rideahorse / a short and sweet oneshot that involves both kissing and incessant bickering, and honestly with this pair, what more could you ask for. rated T.

official summary: Keith pinches his eyes shut, slamming the book down again and swiveling to face Lance. “Oh my god,” he groans, standing up and crossing the two feet between them before Lance can get out a word. He grabs Lance’s face between his hands (perhaps a bit rougher than needed, but hey, he’s always wanted to slap Lance’s stupid face) and the last thing he sees is an expression of pure surprise before he leans down and presses his lips against Lance’s.It’s a peck, and it lasts a second, and then it’s over. Keith leans back, releasing Lance’s face, and hisses, “There.”

if it takes two by velvetcrowbars / Lance has a confession to make and Keith is a knight in shining armor (sorta). a well written oneshot that Lance is absolutely not going to remember in the morning. rated T.

official summary: After the Sendak attack, Keith and Lance deal with unresolved things. Whatever those might be.“Keith?”“What?” He finally says, safely slipping the piece over Lance’s head with minimal knocking against his temple. He sets the discarded parts on the floor next to the bed.“I have a confession.”

never been kissed by kairiolette / I got a pretty good laugh out of this one, Keith and Lance have a Quality Bonding Moment™ at a local alien burger joint and things may or may not get a little out of hand. not that either of them are really complaining. rated G.

official summary: “You give off the obnoxious popular vibe. The mullet, and the rap sheet, and—the fingerless gloves,” Lance replies, and barrels on before Keith can take it the wrong way. “I’m so handsome, my name’s Keith and I’m a pilot.”“That sounds more like a compliment than an insult,” Keith says slowly, a disdainful quirk to his eyebrows that only spurs Lance on. He tilts his head a bit, his bangs shadowing his face, like he’s assessing a particularly impossible physics problem. “And I don’t like that voice you’re using.”

A Fish And A Bird by Methoxyethane / I loved this fic, adored it to be totally honest. the writing is excellent and the plot is funny while also being meaningful. could alternatively be titled “Keith and Lance take miscommunication to a whole new level and then some”. rated T.

official summary: Lance has a boyfriend. Lance does not realize he has a boyfriend. Keith, understandably, does not react well.

head to head, neck and neck, side by side by kushling / lance actually wins a spar with keith and he is so incredibly baffled that he 100% misses the 5000 implications of keith’s super massive gay crush on him. also, avatar references. definitely worth the read. rated T.

official summary: Lance and Keith both like sparring, Avatar, and each other. They have a hard time admitting it. Pidge makes fun of them. Space swords!!!

Stranded by cyborgtoaster / keith and lance end up being both very cold and very gay, in that order. denial is rampant and i definitely snickered once or twice during this one. rated T.

official summary: On a mission gone wrong, Keith and Lance end up stranded on a barren planet during an unexpected ice storm. Left to their own devices, they have to find a way to keep warm for the night. For once, maybe they can get along and only increase their unresolved feels.

moments of silence by attemptsonwords / really well written and great character capturing. lace is super bi and keith is really really frickin gay, together they both start to put the pieces of their relationship together. rated T.

official summary: Quiet moments between two boys who spend most of their time yelling at the other.

Drive! by wolfgun / set in an earth-centric au, keith has obviously never attended a child safety course in his entire life since he thinks jumping into a strangers car and screaming “Drive!” is an acceptable escape plan. it’s like a sleepover au but better. rated T.

official summary: “C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Don’t you know how to drive? With a car like this, you can’t tell me you just love to mosey on down the road like a goddamn geezer,” he taunted. “What is this? Just a bit of daddy’s money and mommy’s rules?”“I’ll show you geezer, mullet-head!"Au Prompt: You’re getting chased by the police and you just jumped in my car and yelled drive, wtf man (except it’s not cops because Lance’s mom would kill him for bringing home a wanted teen)

I’ve got 99 problems and you’re every single one by kitwitt / lace is so deep in denial it’s almost physically painful to witness, keith is so amazingly gay that’s almost physically painful, too. for an explicitly rated fic a majority of the (currently 4/5) chapters are more fluff then smut. well written and witty, keith is a snarky little shit and it’s great. rated explicit.

official summary: “Obviously I’m not gay.” Lance floundered, voice breaking to a higher pitch.
Shiro tilted his head slightly. “But you have a crush on Keith.”

In which Lance fails to mask his attraction to a certain pilot under the ruse of rivalry, and everyone knows but Keith.

Miscommunication and failures by Lance by mikuridaigo / oh man i got a pretty good laugh out of this. collage-student au where Lance fucks up big time and ends up with a seriously pissed off Keith on his ass. literally. rated M.

(it’s Explicit companion piece Disastrophe (I like it rough) is also absolutely worth the read if you’re looking for that kind of thing.)

official summary: When Hunk called the Sunday before the spring quarter began, asking if he wanted to grab brunch with him, Lance said yes; and when Hunk called again, saying that his friend was joining at the last second, Lance didn’t think anything of it.Until said friend was the best sex he’s ever had.Basically Lance is a screw up and fixing this mess was probably going to kill him.


I could absolutely keep going and going and going (and going) because there are so many great klance fics floating around out there. I definitely encourage you to root around in the tag for yourself if you haven’t already. huge shout out to all the voltron fanfiction writers out there, every single one of you are in my heart. every. single. one. 

thats all for now kids, tune in next time for more Quality Space Gay™ fanfiction recommendations !

  • Symmetra: *Wakes up in a pool of blood* What... What happened? I thought we all...
  • Mercy: Died? *laughs* Heavens no! ... Well, yes. But only momentarily! Your hearts barely had time to stop beating! After Reaper broke my staff, he merely drained all of your blood. So! I just put it back in! *Pouring blood into Junkrat's chest*
  • Symmetra: I refuse to believe it's that easy.
  • Mercy: I know! Why do people even go to medical school?
  • Symmetra: Wait, how'd you separate out all the blood types?
  • Junkrat: Ha! "Different types of blood"! Sym came back stupid!
  • Mercy: Ha! Yes, what foolishness... *Whispering* Satya, I've been using my own underwear to sponge blood out of puddles. Trust me. The type is the least of your problems.
  • Symmetra: Oh God... Are we going to be okay...?
  • Mercy: I would drink plenty of water. Oh, and blood if you can find any.
  • submitted by anon
Dorm Mates AU
  • Harry and Ron were SUPPOSED to be roommates but Ron fucked up and forgot to request him
  • On move in day Harry bumps into this asshole who’s bitching about someone touching his “imported scarves”
  • Harry doesn’t have a lot to unpack so he’s already set up when that same asshole barges into the room. He doesn’t even notice Harry as he orders the poor volunteers around, telling them how to set up and “that doesn’t go THERE what are you, an animal???”
  • When the storm clears Harry just stands there blinking as Draco finally notices him. He offers him his hand to shake with his signature “Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. And you are…?”
  • Harry reluctantly takes it. “… Harry Potter”
  • Throughout the school year they’re very short with each other, usually hanging out with other groups. They still respect each others rules and lifestyles within the dorm, but rarely ever talk.
  • One night, late into the year, Draco comes in shit faced drunk while Harry is studying.
  • He starts crawling all over Harry on the bed and ends up laying in his lap talking about how everyone wants to be friends with him because of his father and how sometimes he doesn’t even like the people he hangs out with and stuff like that
  • After his long rant they just kinda sit there and suddenly Draco looks up like “You’re really hot you know that? Like suuuper hot. That’s why all those girls are after you. But you’re so stupid you don’t even realize it. Honestly.”
  • He kinda goes on about how hot Harry is and how sometimes he wants to make out with his stupid face and how the way his expressions are on a day to day basis is practically killing him but then Draco starts falling asleep mid-rant and just passes out on Harry’s lap.
  • Harry just sits there in stunned silence before sliding out from under Draco and going to Rons to spend the night
  • Draco wakes up feeling horrible and he doesn’t remember a lot from the night before. When he sees he’s on Harry’s bed and Harry is gone he starts panicking like “fuck fuck FUCK what did I do??”
  • Later that night Harry comes back and they exchange awkward “heys” before Draco gets all formal saying he’s sorry if he said anything out of term or caused any trouble
  • Harry just laughs like “you’re fine its cute the way you act when you’re drunk”
  • Draco is internally screaming at "cute” but he’s like “nevertheless I should not have imposed you-”
  • Harry interrupts him like “dude enough you don’t have to act so up tight with me I’m not gonna judge you”
  • And after a bunch of back and forth they’re suddenly criss crossed on the floor talking about their stupid aunt and uncle or how strict their houses are and they’re up talking until 2AM and somehow Draco ends up in Harry’s lap again ranting away and Harry is playing with his hair, only stopping when he agrees with something (“RIGHT?? How stupid is that???”)
  • There’s a small pause as they catch their breath and wind down a bit
  • Draco closes his eyes while Harry combs through his bangs before asking “So last night I just ranted about my friends at you?”
  • Harry chuckled and makes a mysterious comment like “among other things”
  • “Like what?” Draco is sweating now oh god what did I say to this beautiful boy
  • “Apparently I’m hot and I don’t even realize it”
  • Draco’s hands are on his face because he’s beet fucking red and Harry is laughing trying to pry them away
  • “don’t worry, don’t worry! I thought it was cute-” “don’t make fun of me!” “I’m not! Really! It was adorable! To be honest, I think everything you do is adorable” “OOHMYGOD PLEASE STOP”
  • and they both act like total fucking dorks until Harry manages to get Draco’s hands out of his face and plants a weird upside down kiss on his lips
  • Harry half-expects him to get embarrassed, but after a beat Draco’s pulling Harry back down with messy kisses and reposition’s himself so he’s straddling Harry’s lap
  • They’re wrapped around each other, Draco holding himself up so he can curve Harry’s head back and force his mouth open
  • Harry’s clawing at his back, about to slide his hands down to grab Draco’s hips when there’s a loud knock on the door (“are you fucking kidding me” goes through both their minds)
  • Ron’s coming from a party, drunk, trying to get Harry to go with him. Harry just takes Ron back to his dorm instead.
  • He expects Draco to be asleep when he gets back, which he is.
  • But on Harry’s bed.
  • Deliberately leaving space for Harry.
  • For the rest of the year they switch off on cuddling and making out with each other on different beds. Ron finds out at the end of the year and is more upset about how he could have half-dormed with them since they had an extra bed than the fact they were secretly dating all that time.

I think I’m in love with muggle AU’s of drarry. Also, make out scenes are my life. Fight me.

As a classic lit nerd I feel like I have to defend Shakespeare.

Like look guys I know Romeo and Juliet is silly and stupid sometimes.

But oh my god guys that is so not the point of reading Shakespeare

The stories are predictable and really weird honestly, but that is so not the point.

The point is that Shakespeare was a fucking genius with words.

He is regarded well because of his writing.

Take Much Ado About Nothing for example.

“I do love nothing in the world so well as you- is not that strange?”

That’s so simple but oh my god I love that.

Added: ““I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.”

Like oh my god? This is a comedy, remember. But wow, that is just thrown in casually.

Remember all those points he effortlessly switches into iambic pentameter, into sonnets?

SONNETS. Just because he could, okay. That’s so difficult and he pulls it off so well

Like

"Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars
As daylight doth a lamp. Her eye in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.”

Like fuck if someone said this to my I would also marry them and die for them within three days of meeting them

people are jerks, but not you (pietro maximoff)

Originally posted by imaginecabin

((exciting!! first non-request!! i hope you like it lots and feel free to send requests!!)

(note: I hc the Maximoffs as Eastern-European Jews who moved to the US (which is true in the comics but never addressed in the films)).

(warnings for non-descriptive mentions of blood, bullying, xenophobia, food)


Pietro Django Maximoff has never been popular. 

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drunk peter headcanons

tags : @parkerroos @spideyyss @peterletmebeanavengerparker @grant-valdes-holland @ladysnowren @marvelsdaughter @underoosie @sunrisehunny @tomhollandisthicc @quacksoff @lil-spidey @captainswriting @jor-da-na

for the wild ass spiderjizz gals bc our gc was full of sad headcanons and we need to stop being SAD

author’s note : don’t yell at me and say peter is too young 15 year olds get drunk and do a lot of shit they shouldn’t be doing trust me k cool enJOY

  • ok so if u don’t think peter is a lil lightweight u would be wrong sir
  • he becomes about fifty times clumsier than he already is
    • “GET OFF THE TABLE YOU’RE GONNA GET HURT OH MY-”
    • “OWWWWWW”
    • “I TOLD YOU YOU’D GET HURT YOU DUMMY”
    • “y/n y/n y/n i hurt my fooooot kiss it better”
    • “peter benjamin parker get your foot out of my face and away from my mouth or so help me gOD”
  • you refuse to drink with him bc peter alone is like watching over an awfully curious child but peter drunk is like trying to keep track of a two year old with the attention span of squirrel
  • so you’re watching over this ridiculous idiot 
  • and he is the clingiest baby ever
    • “ummmm y/n baby baby baby you’re so far away from meeee” cue pouty face and outstretched grabby hands as he reaches for you even though you’re only a little bit away in front of the tv trying to put on a movie
    • “i’m two feet away peter”
    • “TWO FEET IS TOO FAR”
    • “oh my gosh you are so drunk my friend”
    • “did you just friend zone me” and then he tears up a little and you spend the next twenty minutes trying to convince him that he’s not just a friend
  • he is completely ridiculous but it’s fine he’s adorable
  • also he is always yelling
  • for no reason
  • he just yells everything when he’s drunk apparently?????
    • “Y/N Y/N Y/N DID YOU SEEEEE THIS”
    • “yes peter i know what a cookie looks like you donut”
    • “donut i love doNUTS”
    • “askfgsjfg peter no
    • “PETER YES”
    • “STOP YELLING
  • then he can’t stop laughing and he laughs for ten minutes and then he gets tired and stretches out across your lap like a sleepy angel/cat
  • he’s a very ramble-y drunk too and he doesn’t know what he’s saying half the time
    • “y/n i’ve got a suuuuuuper big thing i gotta tell you i gotta tell you it like right noooowwwwww okay”
    • “okay peter baby what is it”
    • “i love youuuuuuuuu did you know that i love you because i do me peter loves you y/n and i wanna maybe marry you and have babies with you like reallyyyyyyyy cute ones bUT don’t tell you”
    • “peter what”
    • “don’t tell yourself!!!!” and this nerd says it so matter-of-factly with a smartly placed smirk on his mouth as he stares up at you with big brown doe eyes that all you can do is sigh and shake your head 
    • “okay i won’t tell myself”
    • “oh gOOD BECAUSE I WANNA TELL YOU AGAIN FOR REAL WHEN I DON’T FEEL SO LOOOOOOOOOPY”
    • “peter the yelling”
  • he keeps trying to sing and usually he’s pretty good (that’s a whole different imagine) but he sounds like he’s scalping a cat as he tries to serenade you
  • he curls up against you because clingy an grabs your hands and holds them to his face and randomly claps them against his cheeks it’s weird he’s weird
    • “what are you doing”
    • “i’m singing the friends theme in my head shhhh you’re ruining my vibE babe”
    • “RUDE you’re a mean drunk”
  • but then he gets really kissy and just wants to love on you repeatedly
    • he starts by kissing your hands and your wrists really daintily 
    • then it BECOMES NOT SO DAINTY
    • and suddenly this former nerd is kissing up your collarbones and really slowly kissing your neck and then he bites you but he’s trying to give you a hickey but it’s not working he’s just biting incessantly 
    • “peter you can be sexy in the morning you’re just acting like damon salvatore at this point”
    • cue his sad face “why won’t you love me back”
    • “you’re drunk and it’s like taking advantage of you so we can do this another night okay?”
    • “uuuuuugggghhhhhh now i’m sad”
  • you roll your eyes and wrap your arms around him anyway and he smiles up at you all lovingly with little crinkles by his eyes and dimples by the corners of his mouth and he’s clearly not sad anymore he’s just needy 
    • “can you - can you pet my hair baby love”
    • “yeah pete of course”
  • and now he’s sleepy but he’s still curled up in your lap like some sort of kitten nd his eyes keep opening and closing but he has a really firm grip on your hand and refuses to let go ever
    • “y/n y/n y/n i love you”
    • “i know peter”
    • “shhhh no you don’t you don’t understand”
    • “peter-”
    • “no no like i really really love you and if i don’t marry you i’m gonna die like die die like deaD 
  • and then he rolls over and puts your hand against his cheek again and passes the fuck out with his mouth still slightly open and he’s lowkey drooling and it’s kinda gross but you can’t move bc there’s a huge boy laying on top of you and??????
  • he’s heavier than he looks?????
  • boy hides his riPPED AS BODY UNDERNEATH THOSE SWEATERS 
  • BUT YOU KNOW THE TRUTH 
  • and the truth is that he’s heavy as fuck and he’s crushing you but you can’t move him bc???/ the cuteness is too much and he was highkey wasted and he needs some sleep
  • he wakes up in the morning with a killer headache and he kinda wants to die because ow his foot hurts and his brain feels like it is pounding against his skull with tiny little Thor hammers
  • but he sees that you’re sleeping and he feels bad bc he’s been splayed out on top of you all night drooling on your knee???
    • “ugh that’s disgusting”
    • “peter i know my face in the morning is scary but-”
    • “NO NO MY LOVE YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL I MEANT THE DROOL”
    • “oh god why did i yell my head hurts so bad ughgsgk”
  • he takes 3 advil tablets and asks if he did anything stupid last night
  • you tell him no, that he was just pretty adorable to spare him the pain 
  • later on you’ll tell him that he said if he doesn’t get to marry you he’ll die
    • “well they do say that drunks are the most honest people”
    • “PETER YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THST”
    • “i’m peter and i wanna marry you or else i’ll die”
    • “you make me so upset”
    • “why”
    • “BECAUSE YOU’RE SO CUTE
    • “shhhhhhhhh”
  • drunk peter is a sweet peter but all peters are good !!!
  • lol
  • goodbyE i miss peter and i’ve never even had him to begin with
MONSTA X - you fall asleep on their lap.

Request: hello! may I request for a Monsta X reaction to their s/o falling asleep on their lap? thank you 💗


Shownu: He’d find it cute, and would be so happy that you were comfortable enough to do that. He ran his hands through your hair as you slept peacefully.

Originally posted by wonhontology

Wonho: "Oh my god! He’s very stupid!“ He said, referring to the movie you were watching. He looks down and sees you sleeping. "Oh really?” He asks and laughs. He keeps staring at you for a while and thinking how cute you look.

Originally posted by monstalways

Minhyuk: He was running his hands through your hair loosely, when he looks at you, you were asleep. “You always sleep in my lap, huh?” He asks and laughs. He picks you up and takes you to bed to sleep together.

Originally posted by kihqun

Kihyun: At first, he just don’t know what to do. You lay on his lap and a while later, he noticed that you were asleep. He kept looking at you and wondering if he should take you to the bedroom. “You know… You’re so fucking beautiful…” He said smiling. “And we’ll stay here on the couch.” He ran his hands through your hair.

Originally posted by monbeboo

Hyungwon: "Oh really?“ He said when he saw you asleep. "Why does she always sleep when we’re watching a movie?” He asked. He stared at you for a while and smiled. “Lucky for you, you’re beautiful and I love you so much.”

Originally posted by faidream

Jooheon: When he saw you asleep, he felt very happy. He knew you trusted him enough to sleep on his lap. “Hm, you’re a cute baby.” He said softly running his hand over your face.

Originally posted by jookyun

Changkyun: He would get a bit uncomfortable at first. You were sleeping soundly and he didn’t know what to do. “Hyung? What do i do?” He asked Minhyuk. “Let her sleep, she’s your girlfriend!” He laughed. “She is, right? My girlfriend.” He said smiling and looked at you, then began to run his hands over your face and hair lovingly.

Originally posted by livelovelunch

The New Romantics

This is going to have some sort of plot, but for now, yeah. Klance smut, as promised, more to come. Laughing at the discourse over which should top but no worries I got this. Also, click the OP if the read more link doesn’t show. 


It was normal to be cranky after an especially exhausting battle. It was normal to want to be alone. But Lance was one of the few among them whose spirits remained up and playful, a comforting routine after the adrenaline and sorrows of a battle, no matter how often the others swore to dislike it. Though this time, Lance didn’t say anything as they got back to the castle. He simply went to his room and shut himself in.

“Is he okay?” Pidge asked.

“Probably tired from the fight,” Shiro said. “It was exhausting. For all of us.”

“Well, I’m starving,” Hunk said. “So you’ll know where to find me.”

Allura looked at them, the beauty in her face that was there when they first found her weathered down by battles and near-death experiences. She had tired lines along her chocolate skin and her shoulders slumped whenever she wasn’t in battle or in front of other races. “We should all rest. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Good work, Paladins. You’ve come a long way.” She gave them a hard, look, her eyes bright with tired pride, a thin smile on her lips. She left and Shiro turned to Keith.

“She’s right. We need to rest.” Keith nodded, not really answering. “I’m serious, Keith. Don’t go tire yourself out. If we fight again tomorrow, you need to be at your best.”

“Alright, alright,” he mumbled. “Goodnight.” Shiro kept his eyes on him until he left. Keith obeyed, despite every bone in his body telling him to go and train, to go and fight until he was swifter, stronger, better.

Instead, he went into his room and forced himself to sleep.

The next morning, with the others at breakfast, he realized something was wrong. It was Lance. He wasn’t yapping like he normally did. He wasn’t joking, talking through space goo, being obnoxious. He was just sitting there, stuffing his face angrily, his hand fisted on the table like he was aggravated.

Keith glanced at Shiro who was sharing a concerned look with Allura. Coran and Hunk spoke, but not enough to fill the void of Lance’s voice.

Later, as they were training, Lance was sloppy and kept getting knocked down, even by Pidge who was half his height.

“Dude, what’s your deal?” Keith snapped when he watched him go down again.

“Stay out of it,” he bit back. Keith blinked in surprise, and walked over to him. “Get out of my face.”

“You don’t tell me what to do!” he shouted. “Look, if you don’t focus, we can’t form Voltron. And if we can’t form Voltron, we can’t fight. Which means we’re dead. I am not dying because you can’t keep your head clear enough to take this seriously.”

“Don’t you go blaming me,” he snapped. “Everyone knows your impulsive temper is what screws us up most when we fight.” Keith shoved him back and Lance lunged forward. Keith easily sidestepped him. “You wanna go, Mullet Head?” he hissed.

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