he's so stupid oh my god

anonymous asked:

I absolutely love the way you do omega Hux. So cocky and proud and loyal to his alpha. But still needy and spoilt. I love the idea of Kylo knocking Hux up by accident and they both unofficially agree they want this more than they thought.

aaah oh my god thank you!!! I really make an effort not to make hux just a subby omega so I’m so happy you think so!!

I’m honestly such a sucker for that trope. Hux finding out he’s pregnant and being so upset that he’s going to have to raise the pup without Kylo because he KNOW Kylo just sees him as someone to fuck, and Kylo being upset that Hux won’t want him in his life or the pup’s life because he knows that Hux just sees him as someone to fuck. STUPID BOYS IN LOVE 💕

2

My heart is pierced by Cupid;

I disdain all glittering gold.

There is nothing can console me

But my jolly sailor bold.
___

I’m trying to fight my art block and I received some lovely suggestions I’m going to draw.

Mer!Hanzo and Pirate!McCree was one of these.
@rebeza and @finchworks are my inspirations and I look up to their designs and AUs ‘cause wow.

Have you ever seen a prettier Hanzo?

oh my god. so do you ever tweet something stupid like “a yoi vampire au where victor let yuuri bite him during the sochi banquet”, and then your entire tl gangs up on you and makes you contemplate this in vivid detail until words come out.

——

Everyone knew that Yuuri Katsuki was a vampire.

It wasn’t much of a problem, these days. Viktor had had a vampire rinkmate once, when he’d just moved up to the junior division. Ivan hadn’t been any stronger or faster, and he’d only shrugged when Viktor asked about the blood.

“It’s like – wanting ice cream,” he’d tried to explain. “It’s good if you have it, but you don’t need it, yes?”

That’s what centuries of defensive breeding did for you. Humans far outnumbered vampires, after all.

So Yuuri Katsuki was a vampire, which didn’t mean as much as “Yuuri Katsuki has level 4 spins but can’t land a quad Salchow,” and Viktor wouldn’t have thought any more about it except that Yuuri Katsuki placed sixth at the Grand Prix Final in Sochi and got very drunk at the banquet, after.

Keep reading

ao3 klance fic recs

After making my way through most of the klance tag on ao3 I thought I’d share the ones that have stuck the most with me so far. honestly this fandom is a blessing, these authors are a blessing, these dumb space gays are a blessing. so in no particular order, please, have some klance;


Cheeky by rideahorse / a short and sweet oneshot that involves both kissing and incessant bickering, and honestly with this pair, what more could you ask for. rated T.

official summary: Keith pinches his eyes shut, slamming the book down again and swiveling to face Lance. “Oh my god,” he groans, standing up and crossing the two feet between them before Lance can get out a word. He grabs Lance’s face between his hands (perhaps a bit rougher than needed, but hey, he’s always wanted to slap Lance’s stupid face) and the last thing he sees is an expression of pure surprise before he leans down and presses his lips against Lance’s.It’s a peck, and it lasts a second, and then it’s over. Keith leans back, releasing Lance’s face, and hisses, “There.”

if it takes two by velvetcrowbars / Lance has a confession to make and Keith is a knight in shining armor (sorta). a well written oneshot that Lance is absolutely not going to remember in the morning. rated T.

official summary: After the Sendak attack, Keith and Lance deal with unresolved things. Whatever those might be.“Keith?”“What?” He finally says, safely slipping the piece over Lance’s head with minimal knocking against his temple. He sets the discarded parts on the floor next to the bed.“I have a confession.”

never been kissed by kairiolette / I got a pretty good laugh out of this one, Keith and Lance have a Quality Bonding Moment™ at a local alien burger joint and things may or may not get a little out of hand. not that either of them are really complaining. rated G.

official summary: “You give off the obnoxious popular vibe. The mullet, and the rap sheet, and—the fingerless gloves,” Lance replies, and barrels on before Keith can take it the wrong way. “I’m so handsome, my name’s Keith and I’m a pilot.”“That sounds more like a compliment than an insult,” Keith says slowly, a disdainful quirk to his eyebrows that only spurs Lance on. He tilts his head a bit, his bangs shadowing his face, like he’s assessing a particularly impossible physics problem. “And I don’t like that voice you’re using.”

A Fish And A Bird by Methoxyethane / I loved this fic, adored it to be totally honest. the writing is excellent and the plot is funny while also being meaningful. could alternatively be titled “Keith and Lance take miscommunication to a whole new level and then some”. rated T.

official summary: Lance has a boyfriend. Lance does not realize he has a boyfriend. Keith, understandably, does not react well.

head to head, neck and neck, side by side by kushling / lance actually wins a spar with keith and he is so incredibly baffled that he 100% misses the 5000 implications of keith’s super massive gay crush on him. also, avatar references. definitely worth the read. rated T.

official summary: Lance and Keith both like sparring, Avatar, and each other. They have a hard time admitting it. Pidge makes fun of them. Space swords!!!

Stranded by cyborgtoaster / keith and lance end up being both very cold and very gay, in that order. denial is rampant and i definitely snickered once or twice during this one. rated T.

official summary: On a mission gone wrong, Keith and Lance end up stranded on a barren planet during an unexpected ice storm. Left to their own devices, they have to find a way to keep warm for the night. For once, maybe they can get along and only increase their unresolved feels.

moments of silence by attemptsonwords / really well written and great character capturing. lace is super bi and keith is really really frickin gay, together they both start to put the pieces of their relationship together. rated T.

official summary: Quiet moments between two boys who spend most of their time yelling at the other.

Drive! by wolfgun / set in an earth-centric au, keith has obviously never attended a child safety course in his entire life since he thinks jumping into a strangers car and screaming “Drive!” is an acceptable escape plan. it’s like a sleepover au but better. rated T.

official summary: “C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Don’t you know how to drive? With a car like this, you can’t tell me you just love to mosey on down the road like a goddamn geezer,” he taunted. “What is this? Just a bit of daddy’s money and mommy’s rules?”“I’ll show you geezer, mullet-head!"Au Prompt: You’re getting chased by the police and you just jumped in my car and yelled drive, wtf man (except it’s not cops because Lance’s mom would kill him for bringing home a wanted teen)

I’ve got 99 problems and you’re every single one by kitwitt / lace is so deep in denial it’s almost physically painful to witness, keith is so amazingly gay that’s almost physically painful, too. for an explicitly rated fic a majority of the (currently 4/5) chapters are more fluff then smut. well written and witty, keith is a snarky little shit and it’s great. rated explicit.

official summary: “Obviously I’m not gay.” Lance floundered, voice breaking to a higher pitch.
Shiro tilted his head slightly. “But you have a crush on Keith.”

In which Lance fails to mask his attraction to a certain pilot under the ruse of rivalry, and everyone knows but Keith.

Miscommunication and failures by Lance by mikuridaigo / oh man i got a pretty good laugh out of this. collage-student au where Lance fucks up big time and ends up with a seriously pissed off Keith on his ass. literally. rated M.

(it’s Explicit companion piece Disastrophe (I like it rough) is also absolutely worth the read if you’re looking for that kind of thing.)

official summary: When Hunk called the Sunday before the spring quarter began, asking if he wanted to grab brunch with him, Lance said yes; and when Hunk called again, saying that his friend was joining at the last second, Lance didn’t think anything of it.Until said friend was the best sex he’s ever had.Basically Lance is a screw up and fixing this mess was probably going to kill him.


I could absolutely keep going and going and going (and going) because there are so many great klance fics floating around out there. I definitely encourage you to root around in the tag for yourself if you haven’t already. huge shout out to all the voltron fanfiction writers out there, every single one of you are in my heart. every. single. one. 

thats all for now kids, tune in next time for more Quality Space Gay™ fanfiction recommendations !

  • lestat: oh my god louis you're so whiny. you're a vampire now !! just deal with it and stop setting our house on fire !! i can't believe you're so WHINY
  • also lestat: pay attention to me !! why aren't you paying attention to me ?? oh my god i'm just going to launch myself into the sun and DIE
dunkirk || part two

(part one)

y/n’s always been there for harry, so why does he want to take little miss kendall jenner as his date for dunkirk’s premier? 

+

“What the hell just happened?” Harry scoffed, glaring at the front door you had just slammed shut after storming out, claiming you needed some ‘fresh air’. “Remind me never to bring up Kendall around Y/N ever again.” He joked, the smile dropping on his face when he noted the boys’ stoic expressions. “Wha’? Are you guys mad at me too??” 

“Oh my god, I just remembered. How could we be so stupid??” Liam gasped lightly, his eyes widening as he looked over at Niall. His memory was a bit fuzzy, but Liam did recall you accidentally blurting out your feelings for Harry. Of course, you had made him pinky-promise to keep it a secret, since you didn’t want to risk jeopardising your friendship with Harry. Liam was usually good at keeping secrets, but he had to tell Niall. And then Niall and to tell Louis - Heck, even Zayn knew! The only person who didn’t know was obviously Harry. 

“I t’ink she’s mad cos I took the last juice box t’is mornin’. I left her wit’ the orange juice when I knew she wanted t’e apple juice.” Niall muttered, slapping himself on the forehead gently. “Do ya t’ink a whole Costco sized container of juice boxes would make her happy?” 

“No, Niall, don’t you remember what I told you a couple months ago? About Y/N and her..” Liam trailed off, pointing to Harry very subtly. 

“Oh, right!” Niall’s eyes lit up as he sat up straighter before letting out a breath. “T’ank god I didn’t do anyt’ing wrong. It breaks my heart when Y/N’s upset.” He laughed lightly, looking over at a very confused Harry. 

“I literally have no idea wha’ you guys are talking about, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t done anything wrong. And let’s be honest, she’s probably a little miffed about that last juice box, Niall.” Harry leaned back against the couch after picking his phone back up. “I know Y/N. She’ll cool off in a couple hours, we jus’ have to leave her alone, s’all.” He shrugged casually, the rest of the boys staring at him in astonishment. How could Harry not know why you were upset? Was he really that oblivious? 

“Do you really think Y/N would be that petty to get so explosive over a fuckin’ juice box?” Louis furrowed his brows, raising his hands in surrender when Harry did nothing but nod confidently. “Alright, then. You do you.” 

“Stupid Harry. Stupid Harry and his stupid war movie.” You grumbled to yourself, sucking up the remainder of your juice before angrily tossing it into the bin. “I’m taking her as my date, he says. Didn’t even get a thank you for ironing his dumb costume. Should’ve tossed the costume into the ocean when I had the chance.”

Life just wasn’t on your side. You had always been there for Harry, supporting him with whatever decision he made. He wanted to wear that floral suit to the AMA’s, fine! You were the one who picked it up for him. He wanted to chop all his hair off for charity (and for the movie, obviously), of course! You were the one who physically cut his hair, and you even dropped it off at the charity itself. You helped him during outfit changes for his Another Man shoot. But no, you didn’t get anything in return. You weren’t even invited to go on that damn yacht. All you were in Harry’s eyes was his little assistant - Could you even call yourself his best friend anymore? Probably not! People were always calling you up because they thought you were a representative for Harry. 

“You’re not all that, Harry Styles.” You muttered, rubbing your hands together for warmth before shoving them into the pockets of your coat. (It was Harry’s coat. You liked wearing his clothes.) What were you even doing with your life? Your days including running all over town to do things for Harry, and you weren’t even getting paid for it. Harry had just been taking advantage of you right under your nose, and you thought he was taking you to all these things and asking you for all these favours because you were his best friend. The sudden feeling of your phone buzzing in your pocket snapped you out of your thoughts, making you stop in the middle of the street. You took your phone out and walked into an empty alleyway, your brows knitting together at the sight of none other than Harry himself calling you. 

“Y/N? Where the hell are you, love? It’s nearly 10.” You told yourself to stay calm when you heard Harry’s voice from the other end of the phone. You raised your wrist to glance at your watch. 

“You took four hours to call me and check to see where I went?” You asked in an unimpressed tone. You could practically see Harry trying to come up with an excuse as to why he didn’t call earlier. There was a moment of silence before Harry cleared his throat and spoke up again. 

“I figured I’d give you a little alone time to blow some steam off.” 

“Oh? Blow some steam off? And what makes you think I have steam to blow off?” You scoffed, raising your free hand to make air quote gestures. 

“Cos you were clearly upset when you left. Niall said he’d replace your damn juice boxes, Y/N. You don’ have to be so immature about it.” Now you were the one in shock. He thought you were upset over.. juice boxes? 

“You- what? You think I’m- Can you give me another reason as to why I could be upset right now? Because I think I’m over the juice boxes.” You scoffed, hearing Harry let out a small groan of frustration. 

“Can yeh just come back? We can talk about this.” 

“There’s no need to talk, Harry. You, out of all people, should know why I’m upset.” 

“Well, I don’t know why! You’re going to have t’ help me figure out why you’re upset!” Harry’s voice became a little more gruff at this point. 

“I shouldn’t need to help you!” You snapped, clenching your fist so tightly you could feel your nails digging into the flesh of your palm. “I’m just so.. Sick of you!” Again, nothing but silence. 

“You’re sick of me?! I’m sick of you! You’ve been so moody and childish lately!” Harry growled, cursing quietly to himself. 

“Maybe I wouldn’t be moody or childish if you could just figure out what you’ve done wrong!” You gasped, a little offended by his words. “God, I don’t even wanna talk to you right now! I was in a decent mood, and I was actually alone with my own thoughts until you call-”

“You know what? If you’re going t’ keep acting this way - jus’ don’ even bother coming home, then! You always think I need you around, but guess what? I don’t! I don’t need you!”

Your heart pounded wildly in your chest, a lump beginning to grow in your throat. How could he say something like that? “You don’t need me around?” All you could hear was the heavy breathing of Harry on the other end. 

Y/N-” You didn’t give Harry a chance to explain himself before you hung up and shoved your phone back into your pocket. 

He didn’t need you around anymore? Fine. If that’s what Harry wanted, that’s what he’d get. 

+

ehehehehehehehe

Muse - “No Skills”

hi guys!!! here’s the next part to the series :) (aka part 2 to this post)

i’m about to put a link to a masterlist so it’ll be easier to navigate (masterlist with a grand total of 2 pieces)

ANOTHER HEIGHTS REFERENCE TITLE i know guys it’ll make sense the further along we get (unless ur already onto me)

anyways - like i said i am a newbie so any and all feedback is appreciated (roast me if u want)

summary: man, he was cute. right? he was so cute! he was sweet and tall and so so so cute and his name was… oh my god what was his name?

word count: 3150+ lmao

warnings: swearing bc i’m a sinner and even more motherfucking smiling (lin’s smile makes me weak in the knees and that translates in2 my work sorry about it)

oh god here we go

Keep reading

NEW PROMPT LIST BY BANGTANBOMBIMAGINES

Please reference this new prompt list! Our old one will not be used anymore.

1. “I want you. Only you.”
2. “Because I love you!”
3. “You make me so happy.”
4. “I thought you didn’t want me.”
5. “You’re just another player, and it’s a game over to us.”
6. “I was stupid enough to fall for my best friend.”
7. “No! I’m tired of doing what you say.”
8. “I swear, I’m not crazy!”
9. “You’re seriously a man-child.”
10. “It’s cute when you blush.”
11. “Oh God, he’s serious.”
12. “This is awkward…”
13. “Are you hurt?”
14. “This isn’t what it looks like.”
15. “Is there a reason you’re crawling through my window?”
16. “When were you going to tell me?”
17. “You’ve got a cute laugh!”
18. “Move in with me?”
19. “Are you jealous?”
20. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
21. “The song was about you.”
22. “I guess this is it.”
23. “Can you do me a favour?”
24. “What do you mean, the door is locked?!”
25. “You owe me ten bucks.”
26. “Sorry, was I interrupting something?”
27. “Wanna bet?”
28. “That doesn’t look right…”
29. “You seem so familiar.”
30. “Wow, you’re stupid.”
31. “I’m not scared!”
32. “Oh, fuck, he saw me.”
33. “Am I dead?”
34. “Dude, that’s gross.”
35. “We’re both going to fail.”
36. “Come on, it wasn’t that bad.”
37. “I’m not crying. I have allergies.”
38. “Well, I’m happy you think of me when you’re drunk.”
39. “I thought you hated me!”
40. “This was a dumb idea.”
41. “You can’t fall in love with me.”
42. “You’re such an asshole!”
43. “Did I fucking stutter?”
44. “Wow, you’re pretty.”
45. “Why?”
46. “Hey, are you okay? I heard you screaming.”
47. “You should leave.”
48. “I can see you, you know?”
49. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Of course I’m in.”
50. “If you die, I’m going to kill you.”
51. “I had a nightmare about you and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
52. “That’s pretty messed up.”
53. “You remembered that?”
54. “At least I know what I want.”
55. “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.”
56. “Can someone shoot him?”
57. “Don’t say a word.”
58. “Is that my sweater?”
59. “You’re bleeding all over my furniture.”
60. “You look…wow.”
61. “You’re mine.”
62. “That can’t be legal.”
63. “I want to see you.”
64. “Please, just come back.”
65. “Shit, that’s hot.”
66. “I think I like you.”
67. “Sorry.”
68. “Please don’t leave again.”
69. “Why should I forgive you?”
70. “You lied to me.”
71. “Someone will see us!”
72. “You’re good at this.”
73. “Stay with me?”
74. “Just go to sleep.”
75. “Come here.”
76. “You don’t need to pretend.”
77. “I don’t care!”
78. “I told you, I don’t do romance.”
79. “We should stop.”
80. “Do you even love me?”
81. “Where were you?”
82. “I can’t do this anymore.”
83. “I think I just fell in love.”
84. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
85. “Are you asking me on a date?”
86. “Prove it.”
87. “You’re so whipped.”
88. “I fall in love with you more and more every day.”
89. “You’re all I have left.”
90. “It’ll always be you.”
91. “Let’s run away and get married.”
92. “Just promise you won’t forget me.”
93. “Can I kiss you?”
94. “Hypothetically, if I asked you out, would you say yes?”
95. “I don’t want to lose you.”
96. “Let me hold you.”
97. “You’re perfect.”
98. “You mean the world to me.”
99. “Care to dance?”
100. “Forever?”

Please credit us if you use this prompt list too 👍

Oats held his axe before him as if it were made of some rare and delicate metal.
“Begone, foul fiend–” he began.
“Oh, dear me,” said the Count, thrusting the axe aside. “And don’t you learn anything, you stupid man? Little stupid man who has a little stupid faith in a little stupid god?”
“But it… lets me see things as they are,” Oats managed.
“Really? And you think you can stand in my way? An axe isn’t even a holy symbol!”
“Oh.” Oats looked crestfallen. Agnes saw his shoulders sag as he lowered the blade.
Then he looked up, smiled brightly and said, “Let’s make it so.”
Agnes saw the blade leave a gold trail in the air as it swept around. There was a soft, almost silken sound.
The axe dropped onto the flagstones. In the sudden silence, it clanged like a bell. Then Oats reached out and snatched the child from the vampire’s unresisting hands. He held her out to Magrat, who took her in shocked silence.
The first sound after that was the rustle of Granny’s dress as she stood up and walked over to the axe. She nudged it with her foot.
“If I’ve got a fault,” she said, contriving to suggest that this was only a theoretical possibility, “it’s not knowing when to turn and run. And I tends to bluff on a weak hand.”
Her voice echoed in the hall. No one else had even breathed out yet.
She nodded at the Count, who’d slowly raised his hands to the red wound that ran all around his neck.
“It was a sharp axe,” she said.

– on holy symbols | Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum

  • Sirius: I haven't seen Remus in weeks and it's been so hard. I love him so much.
  • Sirius: Oh my god. I've said "I love you" to him before, but I've never added "so much." What if I never get to say "so much"???
  • James: What about me? What if something happens to Remus and he never gets to meet my baby? I don't want to hang out with some stupid baby who's never met Remus.

I freaking love it when Hardison plays the Common Priveleged Asshole, be it the insurance agent from hell, or candidate to elitist fraternity.
He tilts his head slightly to the left, he makes his body and his face, especially his face, very still through whatever bullshit they throw at him.

Srsly, all of his stance just screams: “This is dumb. Y'all dumb. Can we skip it and go to the part where you show me the real deal and me and my crew trash you? OH MY GOD HOW ALL OF YOU SO STUPID.”

hamilton starters. pt 1.

change pronouns as you see fit!  /  part two.

  • “  there’s a million things i haven’t done. ” 
  • “ you gotta fend for yourself. ”
  • “ just you wait. ”
  • “ i may have punched him – ”
  • “ talk less. smile more. ”
  • “ he looked at me like i was stupid. i’m not stupid. ”
  • “ fools who run their mouth off wind up dead. ”
  • “ i am not throwing away my shot! ”
  • “ i will lay down my life if it sets us free. ”
  • “ i imagine death so much it’s like a memory. ”
  • “ oh, am i talking too loud? ”
  • “ i may not live to see our glory. ”
  • “ i’m looking for a mind at work. ”
  • “ oh my god. tear this dude apart. ”
  • “ oceans rise, empires fall. ”
  • “ when you’re gone, i’ll go mad. ”
  • “ we are out gunned, out manned, out numbered, out planned. ”
  • “ you look back at me and suddenly i’m helpless. ”
  • “ where are you taking me? ”
  • “ i’m about to change your life. ”
  • “ i’m just saying if you really loved me you would share him. ”
  • “ i’m never satisfied. ”
  • “ when you said ‘hi’ i forgot my dang name. ”
  • “ love doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. ”
  • “ death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. ”
  • “ my mother was a genius, my father commanded respect. ”
  • “ dying is easy, living is harder. ”
  • “ pick a place to die where it’s high and dry. ”
  • “ you shot him in the side! ”
  • “ don’t call me son. ”
  • “ look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now. ”
  • “ let me be a part of the narrative. ”
  • “ history has it’s eyes on you. ”
  • “ you have no control. ”
  • “ history has it’s eyes on me. ”
  • “ it’s much harder when it’s all your call. ”
  • “ you’re on your own. ”
  • “ you knock me out, i fall apart. ”
  • “ why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room? ”
  • “ soon that attitude may be your doom. ”
  • “ why do you write like you’re running out of time? ”
  • “ take a break. ”
  • “ they think me macbeth, ambition is my folly. ”
  • “ i don’t have the means to go on. ”
  • “ stop crying, goddammit, get up! ”
3

“Are you happy now, Y/N?” Dean grumbled, stepping out of the bathroom and holding his arms out to display his new look. 

“Oh my god, yes!” you exclaimed, jumping off of the bed and running over to him so you could get a closer look. “Oh, you look so dapper! Now give me a spin.”

“This is stupid,” he muttered under his breath, but he followed your instructions nonetheless, slowly turning in a circle.

You ran your hands over the fabric of his sweater once he had completed his 360 before taking hold of his tie and pulling him close to you. “I can’t decide if I wanna squeeze your cheeks or fuck you.” You grinned, licking your lips teasingly.

“Well,” Dean started with a wink, his hands moving to grab the belt loops of your jeans, “I think we both know which option I’d prefer.”

(x) (x)

Steven, Connie, Lars, and Sadie aren’t trans/genderfluid/genderqueer/etc! No one is on the show oh my god can y'all not? Just this once? Want some Validation™ and Representation™? Make it yourself don’t make us one of “Those Fandoms”. - Anonymous 

Lars is not trans. There is an episode where we see Lars shirtless and he’s not wearing a bra. So the ‘Lars is trans’ theory is stupid. - Anonymous

Trans character theories for any show are the worst theories. - Anonymous