ok. another probably unpopular opinion alert - from me (oh don’t you lovelies love it?????? omg, no, please stop punching me in the face) - about this shit - because i still am sorta incensed, sorta not-surprised, sorta in the fetal-position about all the “omg he’s so high” and “zomg he is so hilarious!” chatter.
like, i think if we can agree on anything in these tumblrparts, it’s that jared leto is fucking bonkers, man. like, so staggeringly creative and free-thinking that when he is in a mood and sharing with us, what a normal person may see and assume is someone under the influence, is really probably just him. being himself. like, for reals.
as someone who is operating on a similar wavelength as this perfect mess of feels and fragments, i cannot tell you how many times i’ve had people, people who’ve known me FOR LIFE, like people who are probably a match for me for like a kidney, ask me if i was in that moment with them, on drugs. sometimes, weird people are just weird. and entertain themselves by seeing just how fucking weird they can get.
not saying he is a
saint and that our little angellamb would never!, because I’m sure we
all know babydoll got down and probably for sure during the years of
2004 - 2007 when he was all up in a crew that contained a lot of
heads, because one does not associate with a shitton of people snorting
and not partake for kicks themselves, so hear me out. i just honestly,
really do believe those years are behind him. because, realtalk, for
that man to have that much happening in his life at all times - in which
hundreds of people are dependent on him for income in some capacity, in
which he is buying and selling and investing in businesses, in which he
is running multiple business, in which he is talking constantly with
persons interviewing him and looking for any kinda soundbyte that will
wreck him, in which he is a mother-fucking TYPE A bossbitch who has his
eye on everything - i sideeye that a man as overworked and overscheduled
as he is toking up as much as we all wanna scream he is.
secondly, and more stomach-knottingly, i personally don’t think any second in that Hang W/ was hilarious. in fact, i found it utterly upsetting in ways i am finding it hard to express right now. i think it broke down the wall and was almost a bit too real and endlessly revealing.
1) he appears to be entirely alone. possibly in his new home tho - the combo of that snapchat christmas sweatshirt and his down puffy coat, leggings under shorts makes me think possibly even not in LA because my god it’s 11pm there and still like 65 degrees. but back to alone. entirely alone. endlessly lonely.
2) there was a lot of tension throughout his face… his lips, his brow, the corners of his eyes, his eyes themselves, that it was hard to watch him speak.
3) so many moments where he is looking in the camera, but shifts his eyes away, as if he’s stared to long into it, at us, that he’s afraid we’ll catch on.
he’s an award-winning actor but when he’s playing the role of j, his eyes cannot lie.
4) too soon to tell and everything is speculation at all times, but, the “if you don’t show up for work” line was not just some throw away idiom jared felt like tossing out to our ears. i think it was poignant and telling. i don’t think he was referring to himself. at all. this man will fly home to LA from South America, be home less than 24 hours, then fly cross-country to NYC to attend a luggage store grand opening. for free luggage. he shows up for so much all the time. i think this was said directly to someone specific. whose track record at the moment for “showing up” may not be entirely stellar at this time. who knows. SPECULATION. S P E C U L A T I O N.
5) he looked desperate, in a way. like this wasn’t necessarily a cry for help - but like, a cry for someone to give him a moment of attention. affection without conditions. he looked so raw and delicate, his thin legs jutting out before him, splayed haphazardly on a windowsill. i think it’s clear at this point that someone asked him to work on his chill on social media - to not give so much away - of himself, of pieces of himself he never shied from. and i think its clear that it’s affecting him - that loss of connection with so many people at all hours of the day, telling him he’s amazing, and lovely, and wacky, and funny, and letting him be irrelevant on anything and everything. the only truly confirmed-Jared is only really reaching out now via snapchat and now hang w/. which i think says a lot. it’s incredibly hard to faux-jarè on snapchat and hang w/ (for obvs reasons) and i think these two modes of connection and communication are still so relatively new that far less people utilize them than Twitter or IG. i think that gives him a sense of safety to be himself still and less regulated - when it seems at this point his Twitter persona and his Instagram (which is basically repostings of Snapchat or random pictures of him from Into the Wild or from wherevs) are being looked-after by someone not-entirely-JaredLeto.
Ultimately – the Jared we’ve loved and adored since whenever we began to love and adore him, is no longer ArthouseMovieJared, who can do a picture or not do a picture, but when he does it he’s not doing it to be a blockbuster with an expected Opening Weekend Gross of $200million dollars.
Signing onto do a maaaaajor motion picture like “Suicide Squad” with a major Hollywood cast, and director, and producers (the top one being the actual Publisher of the Comic Book series the film is highlighting) is a total game changer. and with that transition, whether we want to accept it or not comes so much more added responsibility and expectations that it’s not even comprehensible.
Listen, i’m more than excited to see him on the big screen again - because he will first and foremost always be one of my favorite actors - but i’m hesitant to wholeheartedly embrace this role, mainly for selfish reasons. mainly for the fact that we’ll lose him these next few years as he fulfills his contract and completes multiple pictures that, if they don’t film this consecutively a la other franchises - and it sounds like they’re not planning that - he’ll be dedicated to the joker (pre-production, filming, post-production, possible reshoots, maintenance of his look during downtime, publicity tours on publicity tours, worldwide promotions, the premiere, the reviews, the response, if favorably and the film does well financially: pre-production, filming, post-production, possible reshoots, maintence of his look during downtime, publicity tours on publicity tours, worldwide promotions, the premier, the reviews, the response, red carpets on red carpets to regenerate buzz, and so on and so on) probably through 2019. That is fucking terrifying….that is helluva lot of deja vu and dedication.
Times they are a-changin’. And I’m overwhelmed by a foreboding feeling.
[somethin bout that face tells me that those twists & turns ain’t so wonderful.]