he's so excellent

so I had a small melt down yesterday and my boyfriend was genuinely concerned and he asked if this happens EVERY spring and I said it does and he asked if I have seasonal affective disorder and I said nah that’s a winter ailment. and then he dragged me online with him and he’s been keeping an eye on me and it turns out spring SAD is a thing that has all the typical symptoms plus bonus anxiety and insomnia. sooooo


…actually, it’s nightcrawler, but my real name is kurt wagner.

anonymous asked:

hi i know you mostly draw mchanzo but if u could draw junkrat that would be great hes my fav and id love to see him in your style <333

anon i love this junk boy s O muCH

anonymous asked:

how much do you love auston matthews?

so, so, so much.
auston matthews is the highest drafted latino EVER. he is and will be an inspiration to SO MANY kids that have never seen someone like them on the ice and on tv and publicized like this. he will be the best and little kids will look at him and say, “i want to be auston matthews one day.” and thats just. thats just so incredible.
you know what else? this desert boy from arizona went to a coyotes game one day, said to his parents, “i want to do that,” and then DID. of course, credit to his parents for supporting him and encouraging him and making sure he COULD do it, but on auston’s part–he had to know he had to be better than everyone else. he had to know he needed to work twice as hard to get noticed in the way everyone else would.
and so he DID. he practiced and worked and pushed himself until he was BETTER. (and better, and better, and better, and finally, best. he went number one, yall. number ONE.)
and he has broken RECORDS this season, yall. records.
but megan, you might be saying. you havent said anything about AUSTON MATTHEWS yet, and you’re right. ive talked about his accomplishments and how inspiring he is.
so. let’s talk about auston.
this wonderful boy is nineteen years old. god i love him. anyways.
he’s nineteen and he’s an absolute MEME. he has a harambe sweater that he LITERALLY WEARS UNIRONICALLY PROBABLY. he cant dance for shit. he doesnt celly for goals until he cant handle keeping it all in and EXPLODES. (speaking of which: when he does that double ski pole thing and just SCREAMS? my favorite goddamn thing in the whole world.)
he’s a goofball and a wonderful teammate and a leader. and he is in love with hockey and carpools with his best friend and smiles shyly at the media when they question him. he gave all four (FOUR!!!!) of his debut pucks to his mom. his legs shook on his draft day. he comments on his friends’ instagram posts from years (2013 for connor brown’s, i believe) ago. he chirps his teammates on social media and at practice. he has no idea how to dress himself without layers and layers on clothing.
TD;LR: i love auston matthews so, so, SO goddamn much. because i look at him and i see his accomplishments and i feel so incredible proud, but i also look at him and see the parts of his personality that he’s let us see and i see myself. i see a kid who’s barely an adult, who smiles and laughs but obviously feels the pressure, and i see him doing incredible things anyways.
that wasnt a short tdlr. i dont care. i love auston matthews.

basketball player!jungkook

a/n: this is part of a sports series with my girl @wangpuppo (: and a request from one of my cute anonies that i miss. also, the bit with meeting a cute boy in philosophy happened irl and inspired this so heh enjoy!

Originally posted by donewithjeon

  • meet jeon jungkook, power forward of seoul university and computer science major extraordinaire
  • you would think from the size of his thighs and his arms that he was a hockey player but he assures anyone that it’s really just a hobby for him and that basketball actually has his heart
  • his mom is actually the reason how he got acquainted with the sport bc a little before he was born, she was actually a college player with a semi-pro spot ready for her until she met his dad who was actually the waterboy
  • they shyly flirted with one another until some of her teammates locked them in a supply room closet together bc it was so unbearable for everyone else to deal with their feelings (lol) so by the time they were out of the closet they were together and happily so
  • however, come around their final year in college when things go kinda wrong and she ends up pregnant with baby jeon and of course they’re ecstatic but holy shit they haven’t even graduated yet and they’re gonna have a baby and well…. she didn’t go onto the semi-pro team and jeon’s dad did his best to work hard for them while she finished getting her degree WHILE nursing jungkook for 9 months
  • to say the least mama and papa jeon managed to get through the whole ordeal with degrees
  • by the time they graduated, baby jungkook was born and he became the light of their lives and despite their initial struggles they did their best to provide the family and make it as comfortable as they could for him because dammit they brought him into this world, they wanted to make him live well too
  • the comfort of their lives came the moment papa jeon scored a position as a nutritionist and mama jeon became a physical therapist so that’s how jungkook got acquainted with the world of fitness and finding interest in the way his parents could take care of people
  • however, the moment he fell in love with basketball was when he saw his mom’s basketball tapes. all the glorious videos of her scoring that winning shot and zooming around the court with such swiftness and agility he damn near got whiplash from trying to keep up
  • and from that moment on, he wanted to play too
  • of course, his parents were very ecstatic about that and enrolled him in a community team and he excelled so damn quickly
  • for the next nineteen years of his life, he played basketball and loved every damn second of it and along the way he found an interest in computers too. (let’s just say he read a few books that his high school computer teacher gave him and he was determined to take apart a computer and put it back together - he succeeded) and so that is why he has a full ride to SU with a basketball scholarship as a compsci major
  •  anywho, seeing jungkook on the court is honestly a sight because you would expect him to be stomping around, too slow for the muscle all over his body, but jfc no he is so goddamn quick and agile. he could be on one side of the court and somehow end up right in front of the opposing member to block for his teammate to make that shot
  • he’s a great team player really, not much for the glory and usually to himself, but on a handful of occasions he’ll surprise even his members with a half-court shot
  • he doesn’t care much for the glory of the winning shot, just the feeling that basketball gives him when he’s on the court, gaining callouses from the ball, and running around until he can’t seem to feel his calves and god the happiness on his parents’ face always gets to him
  • so yeah, that’s jungkook as a basketball player - a really sweet and hardworking boy who loves to make his parents happy and to make his teammates happy too
  • remember how i mentioned how he’s a compsci major?
  • well, you’re actually a compsci minor because you find computers really fascinating and cool and unfortunately quite a few others do too so it leaves you two at a disadvantage as first years compared to the upperclassmen so you’re both resorted to taking these random General Education (GE) classes i.e intro to philosophy
  • it’s hard not to notice jungkook that’s for sure, especially when he’s lugging around his sports bag and when he’s cute as all hell in your honest opinion
  • you once told this to your friends and they never let you down about it either. honestly they’d tell you when he’d walk in or try and get you to sit by him but the closest you’ve ever gotten was probably sitting one person away and that was on the final exam day
  • on a few occasions you two would actually inadvertently glance at one another during your discussion (dear god none of your friends let you live, best believe that) but you were always too shy to approach him and he was actually quite shy himself because let’s face it baby boy is a shy nugget who only knows basketball and comp sci and some philosophy (barely tho lol but it’s okay cuz you knew the bare minimum too)
  • anyway, that quarter you didn’t get to know him as you wished and both of you ended up regretting that because damn y’all thought each other was cute. for him it was especially seeing you laugh with your friends and for you it was that little perplexed expression on his face when the professor would mention soundness and the theories about the concepts and dshgjds yeah you really wished you had taken that chance to tell him he was cute on the last day like you initially planned but was too chicken to do
  • but guess what?
  • the next quarter you see him in your intro to computers class and somehow you two end up seated by one another and although there’s no seating chart, it just becomes a thing that this is that person’s seat the moment they sit there more than twice and so you both are seated not too far from one another
  • your hair is a slight mess and your eyes are puffy while you sip your coffee and he looks fairly content albeit sleepy with his hood drawn up and you both don’t even realize it’s each other until hour two of the lab goes by
  • you’re both starting to wake up and looking around at each other cuz people are shuffling around and some are moving closer toward one another and then it strikes you that the kid with slightly ruffled hair is very familiar and then it hits you and you’re just like “wow ok holy shit cute person from that philosophy class!!!!”
  • but this isn’t enough to get you two to start talking to each other
  • that self-established seating chart has already set in notion and so there’s no honest chance in getting to know him from that and so you kinda give up because you’re very sure he probably doesn’t remember you and dammit your TA is standing over your shoulder staring at your codes with narrowed eyes (rip you but he was just playin’ cuz he liked what you had)
  • this whole exchange isn’t to say you both never talk because on this chance encounter of finding out why he lugs that damn nike bag around all the time comes full circle
  • so you do work at the infirmary, usually filing papers and the like since it’s sort of the track for your major and on a particular day comes in jungkook!
  • he looks like he’s in a lot of pain clutching his shoulder and the nurse gets him to do the necessary papers and shovels him off to the doctor who tells him that he has a pretty bad fracture and he won’t be able to play for the rest of the season (at least that’s what they think)
  • reason: some asshole from one of the other teams hit him a little too hard after one too many unnecessary roughness calls and on this blow jungkook fell a little too hard and too awkward for it to just be another minor bruise and yeah :(
  • he’s pretty devastated about this and he has to go through a bunch of testing and whatnot and as an assistant you usually run around making copies until you have to hand off some paperwork for him to fill out
  • prior to this, you noticed how most of his appointments took up his time during the labs and the lectures so you nicely set a copy of your notes with his, adding in things you figured he might need to know from the lecture since he was unable to attend and the moment he receives the large stack his eyes grow wide
  • and you’re like “oh so i remember you from my comp sci class and i figured you might these notes… -oh and those are just basic info that the doctor wanted you to sign off on and the like”
  • he blinks at you, still pretty surprised at your kindness (and totally not freaking out that such a cute person is chatting from him aka the same one he’s wanted to talk to for a while) but he flashes you a small smile (and omg you love it so much) and thanks you
  • coincidentally most of your volunteer shifts are during his appointments and whatnot so you talk every now and then, usually about the notes and eventually about your majors
  • the doctors and the nurses think it’s absolutely adorable so sometimes they let you two chat a little longer than usual just for young love to bloom <3
  • this exchange goes on from some time until he finds the guts to ask for your number when you hand him the large stack of notes in this rushed blurting of words i.e. “soumiwaswonderingificould-maybe-getyournumber??”
  • you: “wait what”
  • he looks down, cheeks quite pink, “can i -um- get your number? since y’know we have comp sci together so it’d be easier to like study for exams and talk about it and stuff…. yeah….”
  • you grin and nod, scribbling it onto one of the notes and the two of you can’t deny the butterflies and erratically beating hearts y’all have going on
  • you both see each other during his check-ups but he’s healing quite quickly thanks to having such strong bones so he may not be out for the rest of the season like they thought thankfully and so when he’s fine and his check-ups are less and less
  • so along the way, you two end up talking day by day even sitting by one another in your comp lecture because you’re semi-friends now and it’s just nice to have someone you know in that class since none of your other friends were interested in comp sci like you so nowadays you’ll text one another about the class and how your days are and those little butterflies emerge whenever you wait for his text or receive a response and you’re just like “dsjghsdjgshdgs”
  • little do you know he’s honestly the same exact way and his roommates jimin and taehyung are always like “???? WHO DAT? :D” and jungkook’s like “lol gtfo bye”
  • anyway, one day you text him about the upcoming final bc you’ll be damned if you miss out on your chance to actually ask his kid out and studying together and he agrees but it’d have to be after his practice and you ask him about his shoulder and if he’ll be good to play at championships
  • and he’s like “oh yah!”
  • and you’re like “o: woah, can i come watch? i haven’t gone to a game and i wanna see you play. prolly treat ya out if you win”
  • and ok, at first he’s a lil’ shy but he says “ok sure, just say you’re with me at the door” and you do and jin (the RA)’s at the entrance like “O: WHAT MY FLOOR CHILD HAS A GIRLFRIEND, THAT PUNK KSJHFJS” but before he can say anything else one of jungkook’s buds urges you to sit by the front and you do until you see jungkook and he looks so nervous, glancing around until his eyes settle on you and he just flashes you a grin and wave which you return as well
  • the game is going by swimmingly and you can’t help but watch jungkook especially because even though he’s the power forward he’s also very conscious of his shoulder which you were extremely worried about until you feel like you can finally breathe when your school wins and you stand with the crowd cheering like crazy
  • out of everyone tho he actually approaches you first with a grin and you’re congratulating him and he feels so elated he really just wants to take you up in his arms and kiss you tbh but he has self control and mercy bc he’s sweating like crazy
  • ngl tho he looks crazy attractive in your opinion
  • anywayy, as you two are talking since you did tell him that you’d buy him food on his win, the rest of the team’s like “yooo kook! party at jackson’s!!!! you in??”
  • and although you’re disappointed you tell him you won’t mind if he goes but he turns to you and says with a grin “nah i got plans already” and jsdkghsjgh the team goes “oOOOOoooooOoooo” but y’all ignore them and he goes “i’ll be back ok? gonna get cleaned up and we can get food?”
  • so you’re content to wait by the locker room for him, grinning af bc holy shit the cute boy you really wanted to get to know last quarter is going to dinner with you!!!!!
  • meanwhile jungkook’s so nervous and stuff cuz he plans on confessing and stuff since it just seems right and his teammates clap him on the back like “yo you got this bro!!!!!!! goood luck tho jin definitely sent him some salty messages and warnings to be safe ahahaha
  • and ok so y’all go to dinner at this nice ramen shop and it’s really great! and you two are laughing your asses off about how this one time oneo f his roomates taehyung got stuck in between the washing machines because he was so certain he could fit and how they had to call the fire department to get the boy loose and yeah ahaha
  • and he’s just in awe with how damn beautiful you look when your laughing and he just blurts out “you have a really nice laugh” when you ask him why he’s staring and you’re like “o: oh thank you…. you do too”
  • and he says “i wanna hear you laugh more and be the reason why you do….” he lets out a deep sigh, appearing a lot more nervous than before, “i like you a lot. i think you’re incredibly cute and i love that you love compsci as much as i do and talking to you these past few weeks have made me happy and god i really wanted to kiss you after the game but i didn’t want to scare you and i feel like this is a lot less eloquent than in my head so i’m sorry”
  • and you’re just in awe because damn you really planned on confessing first but you can’t deny the smile spreading on your face and you tell him “kook, i like you too. and i’d really like it if you kissed me, by the way”
  • and he’s all wide eyed but he grins and after y’all eat and you’re strolling around the city with his arm draped over your shoulders, you guys stop at the top where it overlooks the city lights and on a particular moment when you both are still and quiet and glancing at one another you lean in and do it
  • and it leads to a shocked expression on his face but he lets go of your shoulders and puts his hands on either side of your face and kisses you again
  • and ahh it’s just so damn sweet and neither of you can stop grinning because damn it really worked out as you both hoped
  • dating jungkook entails a lot of visits to his practices after you’re done with volunteering where you’ll come by with ice packs and water and snacks and usually you’ll bring enough snacks for the others who absolutely adore you for that
  • you also have a tendency to fuss over him whenever he overexerts himself because he’s a very big overachiever in sports and academics and sometimes you gotta threaten to withdraw your kisses and affections just to get him to settle down honestly
  • his roommates were so happy to hear how things turned out for you two and they go out of their way to tease him whenever you’re around and dear god Jin
  • well when he found out you two got together, he saw y’all holding hands and he literally sat you both in the lounge, brought out some snacks and just chatted with you
  • to jungkook, this was horrendous but you loved chatting with jin because he’d lay out a bunch of things about kook like how he isn’t the cleanliest and you shouldn’t be surprised to find anything and everything under his bed and how there was one time when jungkook spent an hour googling how to work the washer and dryer were right by the bulletin board in the room and that’s when kook lost it and dragged you away
  • it was then decided that jin approved of you tho
  • bc after the season when everyone is still training after, jungkook’s shoulder was bothering him and he refused to admit that he might’ve overexerted it and you stormed over to the dorm and scolded him for not taking proper care of himself before running around just to grab some ice packs and just a mini kit of dealing with this brat and jin just knew that you’d take care of this kid so he leaves y’all be and even closes the door to the dorm tho you pay no attention as kook starts opening up to you
  • even on days when he feels his worst like he feels like everyone depends on him and he’s not sure if his abilities are good enough since his shoulder’s constantly bothering him and all you think to do is give him words of advice and kissing him to let him know that he isn’t alone
  • because although you count on him, you want to be there to support him and well…. jimin and taehyung aren’t in the room and with the ice pack on his shoulder, you climb atop the bed, sitting on his lap and kissing him with more and more fervor that he reciprocates
  • you convince him to let you take care of him and you do indeed~
  • the one day he actually loses a game (bc hey no ones perfect) and you’re there doing your best to comfort him he just tells you how much he loves you and is grateful for you being there
  • and holy shit this is the first he’s told you this, you tell him you love him too and god he looks significantly happier
  • on days when you’re at your worst, he tries his best to get your mind of it, taking you on walks to your favorite places and carrying you when you’re too tired
  • other days he’ll even forgo practice, finding the frog leaps on the stairs worth it, when he can pick you up after your volunteer shift just to surprise you with snacks and a semi-well made bento box and boba and it’s just so damn sweet ok
  • you and jungkook manage to complement one another in the best way possible and when you’re both overexerting yourselves you’re there for one another to tell each other to chill
  • to say the least, both of y’all have never been more grateful for a philosophy class even if you both suffered incessantly in that damn class

the holy uncle trinity of ijs men’s skaters

  • someone : *does anything*
  • jungkook : *does it better without trying*

When he loves to tell me about his goals and aspirations because he’s the “speaking it into existence” type of person. When his relationship with God isn’t at the peak of which he hopes it would be but he tries his best and has plans to improve his spirituality. When his mannerism is so excellent, he’d hate to hurt a fly. When he has so many questions about the world..as small as zombies and as big as is the universe deterministic? he thinks questions are good, knowledge is greater than humiliation. When he makes you laugh because laughter is good for the soul. And he just loves when the corners of your cheeks wrinkle. When he loves to watch movies with you. There ain’t much on the news but the blues so some Tarantino will wipe away the tragedy and sorrow of the world-for about 2 and half hours. He knows the worlds a fucked up place so little acts of kindness make a big difference to him. When he takes time to look good and take care of himself because he likes to express himself through his creativity and he believes “today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” That’s a dr. suess quote but it is so prevalent to him when it comes to doing and looking your best and most importantly, feeling your best. He knows mental issues are so important and little things can fuck with the way peoples minds work so he is so critical of the things he says. He’s so hard on himself, he’s been through a whole lot but he envisions something good happening to him. He believes that everything meant for him will never leave him, and whatever left him simply wasn’t meant for him. He is an optimistic person. He is an ambitious man who sees good things coming because he knows he deserves it. He is so passionate about his craft. His woman. His faith. He is beautiful. Inside and out.

Stealing into the Void (Cop!Peter Maximoff x Reader)

Therapists & other doctors of the mind say shoplifting is a way to fill that empty hole inside. Something about the adrenaline involved with stealing said things & the momentary glimpse of completeness that comes with pilfering something is incredibly enticing to some people. Everyone has their own inner void, waiting to be filled, but kleptomaniacs are the ones who try to fill the emptiness by stealing things.

Maybe, at first, you were trying to fill the void when you began shoplifting, but now, it wasn’t just for momentary fun or psychological completeness: it was how you survived. Times were tough nowadays & when they became too much, you had no choice but to shoplift every now & then to get by. Sometimes it was just clothes, other times, it was high-end electronics. You stole whatever you could, but never more than you needed to. You had long stopped stealing for the Hell of it & insisted to yourself that this time, it was different because you were stealing to survive, but you couldn’t stop that nagging feeling inside that made you wonder if you got yourself into these situations on purpose, just so you could steal again.

“What the Hell were you thinking? To come in here & steal from me,” you rolled your eyes at the clerk, who had tied your hands so you wouldn’t try to escape while he waited for the police. You had tried to rob his store out of old habits. Your current situation was better than usual, having paid your rent & having a decent amount of food at home, but once you saw that lovely bottle of your favorite wine, your blood started pumping faster & your skin itched with desire & you couldn’t help yourself.

You had never been caught before & in all honesty, you were quite nervous about having to go to jail for this. Your perfect track record with the law would be tainted now, ruining the only good thing you had going for yourself.

As Officer Maximoff pulled into the parking lot of the convenience store, he couldn’t help but reminisce about his past with the force. Before he became a hot-shot cop for the FBI, he was required to train for the position by becoming a policeman for the city. He excelled so much so that he was promoted almost immediately & became an officer for the FBI. He worked closely with FBI agents to bring down some of the most wanted criminals, most of which were some of the most dangerous people known to man. He had an incredibly accomplished record under his belt, having arrested many notorious criminals & being extremely involved in his community. He was a police icon, & it brought him so much joy & validation, but it couldn’t fill the void he had inside him, the same void he used to try to fill with shoplifting.

He adjusted his hat & belt as he stepped out of his squad car, walking into the convenience store. He spotted you instantly & was taken aback by how incredibly beautiful you were & the dimness of your eyes. He knew that lack-luster look all too well & memories of his past came flooding back to him as the store owner blabbered on about the situation. In all honesty, Peter wasn’t really listening because he was focusing all his attention on you.

You tried not to make your staring obvious, but it was incredibly difficult. This gorgeous cop was here to stuff you in the back of his police car & take you to prison, but you didn’t mind at all. He looked oddly familiar to you, but you couldn’t place where you had seen him before.

“A bottle of wine?” Officer Maximoff raised an eyebrow, “I’m sorry, you want me to arrest her for stealing cheap alcohol?”

“Absolutely! She’s a thief!” He looked over at you, your head held down as you uncomfortably stared at your tied hands in your lap, wondering if you’d ever even stolen anything before tonight. Even if you had, he knew that you were no true “threat to society”, but he didn’t want to see the pissed off store owner become even more enraged if he told him you weren’t going to be arrested.

“Right…well, I guess it’s off to the slammer now, but please untie her, that was entirely unnecessary,” the store owner grinned, clearly pleased with the news that you were going to jail & untied you. Your heart raced in your chest as you looked up at the officer with fear in your eyes. His face immediately softened at your frightened look & mouthed “don’t worry” as gently grabbed your shoulder, leading you to his car. He put you in the backseat so the store owner wouldn’t be suspicious & got into his car before driving out of the parking lot.

The car ride was silent for a while before Officer Maximoff spoke up, “Where do you live?”

You looked into the rearview mirror & at him, “What?”

He met your gaze in the mirror, “Where’s your home? I’m giving you a lift.”

You held in a breath, biting your lip, which inadvertently made him blush, “You’re not taking me to jail?”

He laughed softly & his laugh was beautiful, chiming like bells, “For stealing a $10 bottle of wine? No way,” he grinned cheekily, “Besides, you’re too pretty to be in prison.”

You smirked, “Well, you’re too pretty to work in one,” that shut him up real quick & caused his cheeks to turn aflame.

“Right, so, um, your address?” he asked shyly, his faux dominant demeanour slowly crumbling underneath your stare.

You gave him your address & sat back in your seat, relaxing at the prospect of not having to do any time.

It was quiet for a while once more, but again, Peter broke it, “Do you always steal shitty wine from convenience stores?”

You snorted, “Nah, old habits just die hard.”

“Old habits?”

“Yeah, I used to shoplift a lot when I was younger & up until a few months ago, I was shoplifting to survive,” Peter nearly halted the car at your admission, not because you just confessed to being a multiple offender, but because of the similarity of your past with his own.

“Why did you start?”

You shrugged, “I don’t really know. One of my relatives is a Psychologist & they said I was probably a klepto & I was filling some inner void within,” his soft brown eyes looked at you through the mirror, but you were looking out the window.

“Do you believe that?”

You shrugged, “All I know is that when I steal, it takes my mind off things & I don’t have to worry about not having anything to eat or rent money.”

Peter had grown up in a good household in which his single mother worked her ass off to provide for him & his younger sister, so he never needed to steal to survive; however, he was a diagnosed kleptomaniac & stole a lot as a teenager & young adult. He stole everything from Twinkies to old arcade games & had never been caught, until the day he stole his 25th TV. He had been careless, too cocky, & left behind his house key, which was how the cops found him. Instead of being immediately cuffed & sent to prison, he was propositioned by the police with an ultimatum: be sent to prison for a long time for all the things he stole, or become a cop himself. With his super speed, they knew he would be of great help to the force. If he was fast enough & good enough to break out Magneto from a highly secured cell in the Pentagon, then he was going to make an excellent cop. And they were right.

Although he couldn’t completely relate to your past, he could absolutely relate to your kleptomania & more importantly, filling his inner void. Growing up without his father had a major psychological effect on him. The rejection he felt over the issue created a gaping hole inside him that he filled by stealing. He got into a trouble a lot, disappointing his mother & only further driving his need to be validated & accepted somewhere. It wasn’t until he became a police officer did he truly feel validated & accomplished & the void within him was beginning to fill. His mother was so proud of him & that made him proud of himself, too.

Even with all the glory & reward his jon brought him, he still felt a void inside his chest, a void that he knew could only be filled romantically. He had never been in a serious relationship before. Sure, he had a few flings here & there, but he had never actually dated someone before. He was getting older, nearly thirty now, & he desperately wanted to come home to a lovely wife & a few kids instead of the lonely, quiet home he comes to now.

He pulled upto your apartment complex, parking in the lot before turning off the car, “It’s late, I’ll walk you to your apartment to make sure you get there safely,” you didn’t bother arguing with the cute cop, so you nodded & got out once he opened your door for you.

He walked you upto your apartment, both of you staying silent along the way. When you reached your door, you turned to him & smiled, “Well, this is me. Thanks for not arresting me & taking me home.”

His cheeks flushed brightly at your kindness, which he tried to hide behind his dimples & smile, “Of course, just make sure I don’t catch you stealing again, or else I’ll have to take you in.”

You saluted him, “You got it, Sir,” he laughed cutely at the gesture & you grinned at him.

“Good night,” he said, turning to leave. Once your eyes caught wind of his perky backside, you knew you couldn’t let him get away.

“Wait!” he turned in surprise when you called him, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. You smiled at him, “Can I get your number? I’d love to take you out for some coffee or something, as a proper thank you.”

His eyebrows nearly shot off his face at your request & his cheeks flushed darkly once more. He stared at you incredulously. Was this gorgeous creature really asking him out? On a date?

“My, uh yeah sure let me just, uh give you my card…” he sheepishly dug into his pocket & produced a card with his credentials & number displayed on it.

You looked over & grinned, “Awesome! I’ll give you a call sometime,” you leaned up on your toes to press a soft kiss to his cheek, grinning cheekily when you pulled away, “See you around, Officer Maximoff,” & with that you opened your door & stepped inside, leaving a very flustered & very cute cop on your doorstep.

Peter’s knees felt weak from your kiss & his pants tightened when you called him by his official title & he knew he would have to take care of that all night. He lingered at your door for a few more minutes before his legs finally moved & got back to his car.

You stared at his card, racking your brain as to why he was so familiar. It wasn’t until you recalled the similar card in your wallet that you finally remembered:

You had nearly slept with him once before.

This is long overdue @v-writings

I don’t know how to say this

But I need help. And just getting to the point that I can admit that out loud has been a long, painful journey.

Here’s the situation: my husband has never been a flexible person, hating to have his routines tampered with and throwing fits when they are. He reduced our oldest daughter to a sobbing wreck on Monday with his fury over her accidentally washing a shirt of his in with the load of our stuff. Up until then, most of his rage was directed at me and I could handle it. But I realized, suddenly, what I was allowing to happen, and that my children were suffering.

I told him I wanted him to move out. He refused and locked himself in his bedroom for two days.  He has not spoken to me since Monday. I have no idea what he’s planning or doing, because every attempt I’ve made at contact has been rebuffed with icy silence.

I am disabled, with degenerative disk disease, narrowing of the spinal canal, and scoliosis, as well as severe arthritis and a severed ligament in my left knee. I physically cannot keep a job, since I can’t stay on my feet for more than a few minutes at a time.

My books are beginning to sell, which is wonderful, but they’re nowhere near enough to support myself and four children yet.  I have filed for disability, which I should have done years ago, I know, but I didn’t need it, right?  My husband supported us all, no reason to mess with the system he had in place.

I was raised to never ask for handouts. And I’m crying as I type this because I hate that I have to now. But I’m desperate. Emotionally, our marriage has been over for years, but things are just getting worse. I can’t live with this man and since he won’t leave, then clearly I have to.

I’m asking for help. I hope I never have to again, I wish it wasn’t necessary at all, but I have to break this cycle of abuse, and I can’t do it alone. The shelter in the county is full and we’re low priority anyway because the abuse isn’t physical, which means that the housing authority is our only real hope at the moment, since their rent is based on income and should be something affordable.  Assuming they have an opening.

If you’re still reading, my Paypal is halcymouse@gmail.com.  Any amount will be a help, but if you can donate even just $5, I’ll send you a digital copy of Coffee Cake or Beignets in tears and gratitude. If you can’t donate a penny but will reblog this so others can see it, you also have my gratitude and I will mentally hug you.

Thank you for listening and I’m going to go cry some more now.

I swear I’m about to throw myself out a god damn window