he's so cute i wanna puke

I love seeing people write about DA companions as parents, but as a parent myself, let me be real here…it’s not all cuteness.
I wanna see Alistair having to change a blow out for the first time and it is the most shit he has ever seen and it came from such a tiny human being.
Iron Bull wiping puke off his face when he tried to play ‘toss the baby’ and it back fired.
Morrigan, who is breastfeeding Kieran, almost in tears because her nipples are so chapped they’re bleeding.
Cullen having to hear about his wife’s hemorrhoids and the amount of body fluid he will be dealing with.
Leliana finding random stains on her clothes and not even caring any more.
Cole rocking a sick little one, helping them get over their bad ear ache while their parents sleep because no one can survive being awake forever.
Fenris having to wrestle his child into clothes and accidently get a foot in the groin. Cassandra staring off into the void as she tries to concentrate but she is sooooo tired and hasn’t slept in 3 days and Maker have mercy, what is that smell?

And my favorite:
Having to identify the brown stain as chocolate or shit.

Parenthood is a scream. Literally.