he's not actually drunk

anonymous asked:

Okay confession. Is it weird that I wanna see Harry kiss Stevie Nicks? Like I can't picture him wanting to kiss anyone else but Louis, but I really wanna see him platonically kiss Steve lmao

OK BUT HEAR ME OUT, Harry is Platonic Smoocher Extraordinaire??? Like I imagine him being that guy who gets drunk and spends the whole night hanging on random people telling him he loves them and that they’re wonderful and that they smell good and that they should be friends and hang out??? And smooching them? And people are like omg this fuckening Harry Styles kid is too much help??? I TOTALLY HEADCANON HIM AS HAVING MET STEVIE WHEN HE WAS DRUNK ACTUALLY and getting like….really emotional and falling to his Knees to kiss her boots or something and crying into his martini about how horrible and embarrassing he acted around his idol??? And kicking himself for like weeks afterwards and needing Louis to comfort him and tell him it was fine and he wasn’t THAT bad and then, shockingly, Stevie emails him awhile later and was like “you kissed me at a party awhile back and cried on the floor and I dig that.” 

I think what I’m trying to say is that I think about Platonic Smoocher Harry a lot and about him being absurd around Stevie a lot so I clearly like these things together: Harry Platonically Smooching Stevie is pure and wonderful. 

anonymous asked:

What, you can't leave me hanging with that! I can't see the video (no MPC) so you are the eyes and ears. Is he just drunk or something?

He was shockingly coherent, actually.

3

so uh, about aizawa,

10

Favorite moments from Drunk History with Impractical Jokers Q and Sal.

anonymous asked:

I wish you would write a fic about Scott getting werewolf drunk with Derek and accidentally letting it slip that Stiles is on love with Derek. (In honor of your drinking) ;)

“Scott, I’m going to kill you!”

The door of his apartment banged open and for the first time in years, Scott jumped in shock. His coffee mug hit the kitchen tile and shattered, piping hot coffee splashed over his bare feet, and he suddenly remembered Stiles saying at some point that he was learning how to mask his presence from werewolves.

Apparently he mastered that particular skill.

And how to magically and silently open a deadbolt.

Normally Scott would pick up Stiles’ familiar heartbeat two floors down, and his jeep while it was still a ways down the road, but this time, there had been nothing. No heartbeat, no jeep, not even footsteps in the hallway—until suddenly there was everything. Elevated heart rate, clouds of anger wafting through the apartment, Stiles stomping closer, furious for some reason, and Scott could do nothing to prepare himself because for the first time in his life, he was hungover.

Really hungover.

He was dying, because just the night before, he discovered in the stupidest way possible that yes, werewolves could get drunk with the right tools and a little determination. And the right tool was some crazy strong alcohol Stiles brought back from Poland last year that could punch straight through even an alpha werewolf’s metabolism. And what did he do with that discovery?

Shots.

Like a college freshman away from home for the first time, buckling under immense peer pressure.

He was hungover, he was dying, and he was an idiot.

An idiot who Stiles was apparently about to murder, judging by his murderous expression when he turned the corner and locked his wild, murderous gaze on Scott. His hair was tugged up in every direction, he’d probably slept in that loose and stretched shirt, and he had the manic energy of a man who’d been roaming the streets looking for vengeance.

It had been years since Scott last felt any kind of inkling of fear towards his best friend, but right then, standing in his underwear in a puddle of hot coffee, feeling nauseous and fuzzy and somehow bloated—he was horribly aware of the mountain ash that Stiles always had on him. It was the emissary’s favorite threat towards werewolves who pissed him off, and while he rarely ever followed through with it, that murderous face promised no empty threats. Just revenge.

Scott stepped out of the puddle of hot coffee. That was really all he could do to improve the situation.

“You told him,” Stiles accused, eyes narrowed with rage as he stalked closer. “You actually told him, I can’t believe you would tell him!”

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mmmm too much nunvil hcs for the soul

Allura and Coran:

  • Nunvil is like a really light beer to Alteans so they have a naturally high tolerancy
  • Allura doesnt drink that mess so shes the designated Castle Driver
    • “ Coran, that junk is like rat poison even to Alteans i don’t believe this was a good idea”
  • Coran is the Altean equivalent to a vodka aunt, and he drinks nunvil like water and doesnt feel a thing
    • he gossips with aliens across the universe over a few bottles 

Pidge:

  • The “sociable drunk”
    • shiro doesnt let her have any at first but she sneaks a drink while hes not looking
  • Forgets shes on an alien planet and talks to everybody
  • Swears like a sailor even more than usual and tells wild stories that have even the bravest aliens in the galaxy quaking in their boats
    • Pidge, to a group of sketchy alien pirates: so there i was, 3rd grade, dragging her by the pigtails around the playground! and the bitch still had the nerve to say smth so i socked her right in the mouth n pulled the rubber bands from her braces!! yea Susie didn mess with the Holts after that! The aliens, visibly terrified: *scoot away*
  • Shes also a dancing drunk but once she and Keith started jumping on tables and stools Shiro Shut it Down
  • Pidge, hopping on a stool: “ykno what fuck it hEY EVERYONE ANOTHER ROUND FOR THE WHOLE BAR ON THE PALADINS OF VOLTRON!!!!!!” Shiro, slamming a hand over her mouth: “nOPE no its not we’re not doing that”

Hunk:

  • The “emotional drunk”
  • Also known as the ‘relentless crier about eveything’
  • “Lance listen ur like my best friend in the whole world idk what id do without u ur a good man come over here, pidge, u too ykno ur so brave for cutting ur hair and sneaking into the garrison matts a lucky dude if i had a lil sister id wish she was half as amazing as u u guys r like the brother n sister i never had, u too keith and shiros like my chill uncle of smth n i love u all so much i jus”

Lance:

  • The “came out to have a good time and is bitter he can’t actually get drunk” drunk
  • Its not fair he offered they do this! he was honestly ready to go to a space bar and get space wasted but he still hates the taste of Nunvil and after 4 drinks he feels nothing like is the universe out to get him or what!!
  • Doesn’t flirt with any of the aliens that come on to him bc they’re drunk so he just politely declines all night but he takes pride in knowing he looks good under drunk goggles
  • After 6 rounds he gives up and settles on drinking something fruity from a thin glass and taking embarrassing pictures of Keith
    • Even if he can’t get drunk he can still have a good time

Keith:

  • First of all, he’s a huge light weight. Even more than Pidge n shes half his body mass jot that down
    • All it takes is like 2 rounds during a competition with Lance and hes Out
  • Somehow switches between the “goofy” drunk and the “always dtf (down to fight)” drunk in 4 seconds flats
    • Keith: Lance is really pretty…. Anyone: really? I don’t see it- Keith, holding a knife to their throat: what the fuck does that mean
  • Laughs at everything. A lot. No one has heard this much laughter come from Keith not even Shiro and hes known the kid for years
  • Thinks he can fight the sun and he will
    • All Shiro hears is “Hunk hold my cup” and hes up in 3 seconds to stop him
  • He somehow starts a fight over space cryptids with some alien and nope they have to leave their whole planet has declared war on them gdi keith

Shiro:

  • Is reluctant at first but eventually he’s tired of watching everyone so he takes one (1) drink
    • He regrets it to this day
  • The “venting” drunk
  • He goes off on vents about the Garrison for so long he doesnt even realize the alien he was talking to has already left
    • “I’m like an elephant, ok? if i walk into a room, its like, woah hes in there”

On the ride home, Allura is grumpy, Coran is unaffected,  Shiro is already developing the Worst Hangover in the Universe, Pidge is knocked out on the kitchen counter, Keith is passed out on Hunk’s chest while he snores like an animal and Lance is just now feeling tipsy.

the first thing jean ever sends to the trojans group chat is a ten-second video of a drunk jeremy dancing around the dorm as he lip-synchs to kylie’s your disco needs you, which then cuts to jean, wordlessly holding up an alarm clock that reads 03:23 am

anonymous asked:

au where vicchan didn't die, and yuuri actually did well at the gpf. he didn't get drunk at the banquet so he never met victor. years later yuuri is at the gpf to support phichit, and victor is coaching yuri o. victor accidentally mistakes yuuri for phichits coach, and says something about phichit skating that makes yuuri offended on his behalf, so he tells phichit he's gonna become his coach and phichit is just like 'what'. cue accidental rivalry, lot of sexual tension and a pissed off yurio

→ RED, 1

red, 1: confession

» pairing: min yoongi x reader

» genre: angst (most genres will be touched upon as the drabbles continue)

» request: myg + dealing with cheating 

» word count: 1,529

» note: I decided to do this request as a drabble series as opposed to a one-shot or actual series bc I feel that taking broken glimpses at the relationship will be much more effective than a straight forward linear telling. Also most of them will be longer than this one, but it’s more of just an introduction to the story!

“I slept with someone.”

The four words that were said to you all of those months ago, wrapped in the static of cellphone towers that were trying to connect the two of you from across oceans. You remembered choking out a broken and fragmented, “W-what did you say?” Because for some reason you couldn’t stop yourself from needing to hear the words again even though you registered them perfectly the first time. Every single syllable had already embedded itself inside of your mind, and that sentiment still rang true even now, almost two months later.

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Skinny Love | Jungkook | PT. 1

Originally posted by sugutie

Summary: You and Jungkook have been friends for a long time, probably so long that you can even consider one another best friends. You can spot each other in any crowd just by the bond you share, and you communicate sometimes in your own language. But you weren’t content with being ‘just friends’. You wanted more, but what itched at you was the question of if he felt the same.

Potential Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (Female)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Future Smut, Mature Content—cursing, drinking and obviously sex. College!AU

There will be four(?) parts to this. Enjoy part one and please don’t forget to vote and give me feedback. 

-Tee

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04


S A T U R D A Y

You can recall the many times you had the opportunity to tell Jungkook how you felt. There was the time during the twelfth grade trip when you both were sitting next to one another on the bus ride home, he made a blanket for you with his sweater and told you to lean on his shoulder as he attempted to sing you to sleep. He looked like an angel that night, you were both close to the point where you could have whispered to him that you liked him and kissed him.

There was that time when you carried him home when he got wasted for the first time, which he never did again, and he was so out of it you could have confessed to him without actually confessing. He was so drunk that he wouldn’t even remember it the next day, it would save you the embarrassment but the sadness would still be hanging over you.

The memories of all the times he had asked you who you liked came back to you. You really could have pointed to him, looked him in the eye and said, “you. I like you Jungkook.” But life isn’t always like they say in the movies to make things speed up, things like this took time, even four years or so worth of it.

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robindaspoopy  asked:

Why... is red shirtless

pfff-

nah, but really, that’s something that happened in the scene with Red for that chapter of @tyranttortoise‘s SSLL fic that led me to draw those pictures. ;)

anonymous asked:

I think you are 1000% right about the subtext. And my very first thought after hearing the story was that it was after one of the G-A-Y performances and it wasn't about being drunk at all. (Well, maybe he did have a couple of drinks and his inhibitions were lowered, but I don't think the drinks themselves were the issue and I don't think he was actually that drunk). It actually makes me shudder thinking about this.

Me too. As I’ve said in some tags - if it was the second G-A-Y performance then he had some alcohol. But it wasn’t interfering in his performance of the music. Just his performance of heterosexuality.

MISUNDERSTANDING [FRED WEASLEY]

request: “could you possibly write a fred weasley x reader with number 4 and 68?? if you could, that’d be wonderful!!” — by anon

a/n: it’s funny to think that the numbers you requested are somehow linked with the drunken nights imagine i made for draco lol

4. “No. We did not do the frick frack last night.”
68. “Any reason why you’re half-naked in my room?”

Masterlist + Request here! 

    “Y/N, dear, thank you for bringing Fred in one piece.” Molly Weasley handed you a cup of tea. “Really. It still amazes me how he managed to find a girlfriend who’ll actually tolerate his devilish tactics.” she mostly told the last statement to herself rather than to you, moving on to the kitchen once again to now prepare for breakfast.

    You grinned. “It was no biggie, Mrs Weasley. Thank you for letting me stay for the night.” you sipped your tea silently.

    “Well, it’s the least I could do considering how my son disturbed you. Oh, I swear, as soon as he wakes up he’ll hear something from me and I’ll make sure he won’t do it again.”

    Mrs Weasley kept on speaking to herself even more after that, her tone obviously mad from the way Fred behaved that it made you chuckle as you finally finish you drink.

    Honestly, what Fred did wasn’t too grand. He just had enough drinks to actually get drunk last night, he apparated to your house and insisted to sleep there, but since you knew how strict your parents were, you just decided to bring him home at the Burrow instead. You were supposed to come back that very moment but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave him so you settled in staying with him just for night, planning on waking up tomorrow as early as possible to go home unnoticed by your mum and dad.

    It was definitely a good thing that your parents were such heavy sleepers.

    “Thanks for the tea, Mrs Weasley. I’ll just go upstairs and change my clothes then I’ll be leaving.” you stood up from your chair.

    “Okay, honey, please do make yourself feel at home.”

    You headed to the staircase and quickly made your way to Fred’s room. You were wearing a shirt of his for the meanwhile of your stay and your clothes from yesterday (which still smelled decent, thank the heavens for that) was on the edge of his bed.

    Before you could take off your shirt, you peered suspiciously at your boyfriend’s still sleeping figure. Well, it wasn’t like it would be the first time he would see you naked if he was awake, but somehow you still wanted to keep your guard up.

    When you were sure he was still unconscious, you stripped down as quietly as you can. Though just as you were buttoning your pants, your upper body completely bare except for the bra that you were wearing, you abruptly heard Fred grunt and turn behind you.

    “Any reason why you’re half-naked in my room?” his hoarse voice filled the area, a chuckle escaping his mouth afterwards.

    You turned around and raised an eyebrow. “I know what you’re thinking.” you rolled your eyes, reaching out and grabbing your shirt that was still on the foot of his bed.

    Fred took a minute before answering and sitting up, “Did we …” he slowly asked you again in grogginess, his eyes not even opened entirely as he gazes at you.

    “No. We did not do the frick frack last night.” you laughed to yourself, soon sitting down to wear your shoes.

    “Damn it.”

    “You seem disappointed.” you teased.

    “I am.”

    You furrowed your eyebrows, “Are you still drunk, love?”

    Fred chuckled again. “No. Just amazed that my girlfriend has self-control.” he had the nerve to joke.

    After you have successfully worn your shoes, you finally walked towards the bed and sat beside him. He was already looking at you though, bringing his hand to your leg and closing his eyes again.

    “Seriously, Y/N, I’m sorry for last night. I shouldn’t have bothered you.” he yawned.

    You leaned down and kissed his forehead. “It’s alright. Everything for my favorite man.” you winked playfully. “Though now, I need to get going before my parents wake up. You know, you should be thankful they’re both muggles or else they’d be aware of my late night sneaking out.”

    “At least give me a proper kiss before you go.”

    You smiled, reaching down and attaching your lips to his. You felt him smile, his hand moving its way to the back of your neck to pull you closer. You almost melted into him because of how warm he was in the morning and how he was honestly such a good kisser, but as you broke free, you realized what he was trying to do.

    “Nope, not working on me, Weasley.” you pecked his lips once more before standing up and getting your wand from the table.

    Fred dramatically sighed. “I was sure it would work this time.” he grinned, his face now red.

    You chuckled. “Whatever.” you looked at his eyes again. “Make sure to apologize to your mum when you go downstairs, okay? Stop giving Molly such a headache.”

    “I will. Go home safely.”

    You nodded.

    With one final playful wink, you waved your wand and apparated back to your room, where your own bed was messy and the door was still tightly sealed with a lock.

Do You Know What Happens When You Tease A Guy Like Me? daryl x reader

Summary: (Y/n) is always teasing Daryl which turns him on, what happens when can’t hold himself back?

Note: I tried so hard to make this good but i dont know how i feel about it, ENJOY!!!

Warning: language, smut, rough smut
—————————————————————————————————-

You’d taken a liking to Daryl ever since you first met at the prison but you could never let your feelings be known until now. You were safe behind the walls of Alexandria and you left Daryl subtle hints that you liked him. Actually, they weren’t subtle at all. You often watched him when he was working on his bike in the hot sun, his muscles glistening with sweat. When he’d catch you looking you wouldn’t turn away, you’d just wink and carry on having a stare off until one of you looked away. Or other times you would purposely go around without any panties on, making sure to ‘drop’ something and bend all the way down to get it while Daryl was behind you. You’d catch him looking but as soon as his eyes met yours he’d look away, not awkwardly but more like he wouldn’t be able to resist you if he carried on looking.  

Deanna held a small party to welcome your group and everyone was there. You were on the opposite side of the room to Daryl but you would always see him staring at you out the corner of your eye. Both of you were talking to a different group of people and that’s how you knew he was drunk, he was actually socialising. You looked over to him and found him already looking at you. Half of you was getting intimidated but the other half wanted to be in control. He broke eye contact with you and went to sit down and a perfect idea popped into your mind. You excused yourself from the conversation you were in and you grabbed your drink from the table.

“Hey Dixon” you smirked, walking over to him.

“Ya alright?” he asked, nodding his head at you and shifting in his seat as his eyes fell on your curve hugging dress.  

“I think I should be asking you that” you laughed, pointing at the drink in his hand.

“Don’t worry about me sunshine” he grinned at you.

You giggled and went to sit in the chair next to him but you ‘accidentally’ tripped and fell onto his lap. You held onto his shoulders pretending to balance yourself and you apologised all while still staying on him. He let out a muffled groan as you moved to get up, making sure to grind your ass against him before you did. He grabbed your arm and stood up, quickly leading you out of the party. Everyone was a little too tipsy to notice. As soon as you got out the house Daryl led you down the stairs and then pushed you up against the side wall, his fingers creeping around your neck. He pinned you against the wall with his body, grinding his obvious bulge into you. Daryl moved his head down to yours and his lips hovered above yours as you waited impatiently for him to kiss you. You moved your head forward but he tightened his grip around your throat and shook his head.

“Do you know what happens when you tease a guy like me?” he growled, his breath warm on your skin and the sweet scent of alcohol filling your nose. You had to stop yourself from moaning.

“What?” you asked innocently, biting your lip and batting your eyelids at him.

He let out a chuckle and looked down to the floor then back at you. “You make them hard and they fuck the shit out of you” he said bluntly, his dirty words making you wet.

“Is that what you’re gonna do to me?”

He grinned at you before pushing his lips against yours, the force surprising you but you went with it. He opened your mouth with his and thrusted his tongue in, immediately taking over and not giving you a chance to fight for dominance. His hands roughly tugged at your dress as he groaned in your ear to take it off.

“What if someone sees us?” you asked, hesitating as Daryl stopped to look at you.

“You shouldn’t have teased me baby” he chuckled low before lifting the dress up to your waist, the thought of someone catching you made you and Daryl more excited. You fumbled with his belt, the rough bites Daryl was leaving along your neck made you forget everything. In the end, you got his jeans down and he pulled your panties aside with his fingers, making sure to brush them against your sensitive clit.

“You ready?” he growled.

You didn’t even get a chance to answer before Daryl grabbed himself and thrusted his full length into you, stretching you out and making you feel every inch of him.

“Fuck!” you shouted out as he left you no chance to adjust, thrusting into you mercilessly.

“That’s right (y/n), take me all in!” Daryl choked out as your walls squeezed tightly around him.

With every thrust your back rubbed up the wall, mixing pain with pleasure and making your knees shake. Daryl lifted up your leg as he fucked you at a different angle, making him grunt into the crook of your neck at how good you felt. Daryl’s hands made their way back to your throat as he wrapped his fingers around it and squeezed lightly. You let out a moan and he let out a low laugh.

“You like that?” he said, his voice husky from arousal.

You opened your mouth to reply but a strangled moan was the only sound that came out. His ego was filled and he continued to slam into you until both of you were close to your releases. He felt your walls tighten around him and you dug your nails into his back, dragging them down as pleasure was taking over your body. The heat built up to its maximum and soon exploded through your body, the sounds of you and Daryl’s moans merging into one. He came soon after you and sloppily thrusted into you a few more times to finish inside of you.

Daryl let your leg drop and you leaned on his shoulder for balance since your legs were weak. Daryl breathed heavily while he quickly shrugged his jeans back on and you pulled your dress down.

“That was intense” you panted, laughing a little at how dishevelled his hair was. You reached your hand up to fix it and he let you, dropping his head a little so you could reach. “I should tease you more often” you laughed.

“Try it, I won’t be so easy on you next time” he said, walking back to the house with you.

That was easy? You thought. You couldn’t imagine what him being rough was like but you couldn’t wait to find out.
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Tags: @teenagetragediesforeveryone @reedusteinrambles @youandyourstupidrope @becky-twd @fxckyofav