he's not actually drunk

anonymous asked:

au where vicchan didn't die, and yuuri actually did well at the gpf. he didn't get drunk at the banquet so he never met victor. years later yuuri is at the gpf to support phichit, and victor is coaching yuri o. victor accidentally mistakes yuuri for phichits coach, and says something about phichit skating that makes yuuri offended on his behalf, so he tells phichit he's gonna become his coach and phichit is just like 'what'. cue accidental rivalry, lot of sexual tension and a pissed off yurio

the first thing jean ever sends to the trojans group chat is a ten-second video of a drunk jeremy dancing around the dorm as he lip-synchs to kylie’s your disco needs you, which then cuts to jean, wordlessly holding up an alarm clock that reads 03:23 am

a beginner’s guide to queen

‘70s

  • every song is an epic with twelve movements and 85 key changes
  • occasional operatic shrieking is not uncommon
  • hope you’re not a beginner musician because haha good luck buddy
  • there’s a bass player but we’re not really sure if he actually exists
  • all the songs that your drunk friend tries to cover at karaoke come from this decade so get ready for that
  • oh yeah everyone in the band is smarter than you so keep a dictionary handy
  • sparkly costumes

‘80s (more like ‘80-’91)

  • Mainstream ‘80s Pop Rock™
  • hey in case you didn’t know freddie mercury was gay here’s hot space which is essentially 40 minutes of club music
  • everyone kinda broke off and did solo projects and none of them were good (yes i’m sorry brian even you kinda sucked)
  • okay barcelona was a good song but that’s like the best thing to come out of queen solo albums
  • hey remember that bass player? he totally exists and he’s in full force
  • still quiet tho
  • remember the time in 85 when mtv stopped playing queen because they dressed in drag in one of their videos
  • there’s a mustache now
  • the “no synths” rule is broken so hard
  • like i don’t even think they might be giants used as many synthesizers in their first 10 years as queen did in 1984 alone
  • 11/24/1991 never forget

oh yeah and the band i guess

freddie

  • sings higher than you
  • sings lower than you
  • dresses better than you
  • just wants to be left alone with his cats

brian

  • curly hair guitar man
  • stereotypical proper brit
  • sad
  • savior of badgers

roger

  • prettier than you
  • the best soprano you’ll ever meet
  • acts all tough and badass to compensate for his natural femininity
  • writes about Teenage Angst despite being well out of college

john

  • elusive bass player
  • might not actually have a voice
  • hasn’t done anything wrong
  • help him

Alec lightwood drinking alcohol for the first time: this is disgusting why would anyone voluntarily drink this?

Alec lightwood half an hour later drunk off his ass sitting in magnus’ lap: i fugking love this and i lobve you Maggie you’re so prettt pretty warlock give me kisses

Bruce Wayne can’t actually hold his liquor at all. He is the classic rich drunk that after three glasses of champagne he gets fucking wasted. Though people think it’s just an act but no it isn’t. Bruce is a lightweight. Sometimes Alfred makes sure that Bruce’s champagne is actually apple juice with sprite in it but Bruce doesn’t know the difference at all. So he gets drunk off of apple juice and sprite. The kids have recorded after part drunk Bruce and have it for blackmail or to just laugh.

okay but dudebro Shiro who absolutely loves drinking protein shakes and wearing muscle shirts.

On the one hand, the paladins are super happy that he has so much body confidence after losing his arm, on the other, he won’t stop picking Pidge up and carrying her around like a briefcase. When Lance is being stubborn, he just throws him over his shoulder and puts him where ever he needs or wants him. When Keith gets snarky, Shiro just tackles him onto the floor and pins him until he calls uncle. When Hunk refuses to do something because he’s too afraid, Shiro just acts like a human shield, walking in front of him or alongside him, ready in case anything happens. 

He’s the first to start drinking, but the last to actually get drunk. He screams at the TV when football is on, either yelling at the refs or cheering his team on. He starts or ends just about every sentence with “dude…” and refuses to acknowledge he does this.

But he also walks everyone home, just to make sure they feel safe. He makes sure he flexes obnoxiously when they go to a bar or club and stays close to everyone to make sure no one harasses them. It gets him into fights, but at this point, he’s learned how to stop one so quickly it barely even starts.

He’s simultaneously super protective and loving, but also won’t ever stop making shitty jokes and walking around in basketball shorts and tank tops even in 30-degree weather. 

keith is that guy who doesn’t get flustered a lot by flirting, but there’s this one night where the paladins are all out drinking. everyone’s in a good mood, they finished the mission and they’re all (exception pidge) getting drunk. 

but keith is the designated driver - as he doesn’t down whiskey or beer very well - so he’s all sober. lance, on the other hand, went all fucking out and is slowly about to pass out. he’s yelling random shit and nobody understands him.

“Alright, cargo pilot. Into the car you go.”

“Hey, Keith?”

“What?” his tone is calm as he nudges him gently over to the passenger seat (shiro rides shotgun). lance fists his hand into keith’s hair and goes up to his ear and whispers,

“I love you,” 

and there’s Keith,

gettin all flustered by this drunk son of a bitch but he’s actually cute as heck.

“Fuck, I’m gay,” he mutters under his breath before he pushes him away and shoves his ass into the car. he hears lance giggle and then it’s lights out for him. and keith. well, for his sexuality, at least.

I CAN’T BELIEVE YUURI WAS THE PLAYBOY ALL ALONG

He seduced Viktor at the last GPF banquet and just left him.

anonymous asked:

(1) I was rewatching internet support group 8 and remembered Dan said he filmed that the day they went to Australia in his nearly blinded myself video. Wouldn't he have been really drunk or do you think the alcohol is a prop?? I've wondered that before actually. Or maybe I'm just missing something.

(2) Ps i know everyone says this but really thank you so much for taking the time to come on here. I enjoy their videos even more now because you point out details and things that really add to it. So thank you so so much!!

awwwww youre the sweetest tysm :’) lol i think in isg 8 specifically dan def made it seem like he drank a lot more than he really did. if i rmmbr correctly it looks like he does about 5 ‘shots’ but you’re right in saying that he would be pretty actually drunk if he did that in so little time (esp bc he has told us before that his tolerance is pretty low) so my thinking is that it is either water or that he’s lowkey taking like quarter shots or half shots each time (for a grand total of like 2ish shots overall which wouldn’t really make him anything more than mildly tipsy). also because, in regards to this case specifically, he has told us he hates vodka and esp hates vodka shots so i just rly can’t imagine he’d happily sit there doing 5 or 6 in a row lol

Entire Fandom: Karamatsu is painful, gross, slutty and completely unnecessary.

Other Matsus:

Me: Haha, yeah, he definitely is the worst.

jace/simon + the accidental first date (2.7k)

simon is contemplating the merits of daydrinking.

he’s standing with jace, a block down from the restaurant where they’re supposed to be meeting clary, wondering if his silent pleas for her to hurry are actually working, and wholeheartedly wishing he was drunk right now.

it had been clary’s idea for the three of them to grab lunch in the first place. she picked the restaurant where she and simon had gone to celebrate when simon realized he could eat human food again (as opposed to humans as food, which simon does not miss at all).

simon had agreed because clary asked, and he imagines that jace agreed for similar reasons. and now they’re both standing here, sans clary, basically suffering. simon gave up long ago on ever trying to speak to jace without a guardian present; it’s too difficult and probably also extremely dangerous. this concept, of course, was not at all inspired by his massive, embarrasing crush on jace.

simon is at a loss. this is nothing like when he had unrequited feelings for clary. at least with her he knew how to hold a conversation. maybe it wasn’t always what he wanted to say, but he could string together sentences full of actual words, which is a feat that seems almost impossible right about now, with jace three feet in front of him, looking some ethereal combination of bored and stupidly hot.

and that’s it. simon can’t take the silence anymore. he’s gotta say something.

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the outsiders hc’s

-Ponyboy has a stack of National Geographic magazines, a lot of them were originally his dad’s
-Sodapop can’t stand soda, meaning cola, pepsi, 7-up etc,. 
-Two-bit likes imitating Elvis Presley when he’s drunk and he’s actually pretty damn good 
-Steve would never tell the gang but he actually thinks that The Beatles dig okay
-Soda was the one who named the Curtis’s dog (rip) and it was probably something ridiculous like ‘Burp’ or ‘Susan’
-When they were younger Johnny SLAAAYED it hide-and-go-seek
-Darry sleeps with his socks on (much to ponyboys disgust bc no)

ssslytherqueen  asked:

I love ur head cannons!!!!!! they make me all bubbly and smiley!!!! Can you do draco malfoy, and tom riddle head cannons (separately) thx

Draco Malfoy Headcanons

  • When he first finds out his name means ‘dragon’ in Latin, he most definitely makes everyone call him ‘The Dragon’ for seven months
  • And refuses to respond to anything else
  • Owns a gold chain which he wears unironically for a month in second year
  • Had a whole separate bag for hair products
  • Listens to Eminem, but doesn’t enjoy it
  • Low-key prefers Louie Armstrong and Frank Sinatra
  • Is actually terrified™ of snakes, but he’d never admit it
  • Got drunk once in sixth year and started stroking Zabini’s face
  • “It’s so perfect, it’s like you were sculpted”
  • “Draco stop, you’re being weird”
  • “Shhh Pansy, this is very important ministry business”
  • Ends up asking him which moisturiser he uses
  • Picks flowers for his friends
  • But then remembers he has a rep to keep
  • And chickens out before giving them to them
  • And ends up making daisy chains that he never shows anyone
  • Spends hours and hours tutoring Crabbe and Goyle
  • Loves the library
  • Especially books by muggle authors, like Oscar Wilde
  • Can quote long passages of poetry on demand, not that he’d ever admit to it
  • Loves comfy, hand-knitted sweaters
  • Despises his father with a passion
  • But would protect his mother with his life
  • Had a huge crush on Hermione for years, but knew he didn’t deserve her after treating her so badly
  • A year after the Battle of Hogwarts, he travels to each of his classmates’ homes and apologises for his actions and the actions of his father, thinking no one will ever forgive him
  • But they understand that he was just a kid, like them, trying to keep his family together
  • Cries when Harry just pulls him into a massive hug and tells him that he’s missed him
  • Feels awful when he finds out about Fred, and once everyone’s left after his funeral, he makes one of his daisy chains and hangs it on his headstone
  • And proceeds to do this on the day of the Battle every year, for every single teacher and student that fought and died
  • Refuses to do it for the Death Eaters that corrupted him

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Headcanon that Tim is actually an angry drunk. He crashes into the manor on his 21st birthday at midnight bellowing, “Where isss he? Imma fight ‘im. Imma fight you, Ba'man. Broose. Broose! Get down here! Imma SLAP you. Yeah.”
And Bruce is holding back laughter and makes some coffee for him to sober up. But when he turns around to hand it to Tim, Tim whacks him right on the nose.
“Put 'em uppp… Imma fight you.”
“I never knew you were so violently inclined, Timothy.”
“Lessss chat more sssslap. Stop moving so I can hit you.”
“I’m not moving.”
“Whoa. I think somefing isss happening wif my eyesss.”
“You’re drunk.”
“Das not it.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Nope! Isss somefing different. Come here.”
“Why?”
“We’re gunna FIGHT.”

Robert has apologised to Rebecca several times already.

Um hang on a minute…

Why hasn’t she apologised for abusing their friendship and taking advantage of him when he was drunk. Or betraying a friend? Or several friends actually.


The more I think about this the more uncomfortable and down right wrong the whole thing seems!