he's like come at me bro

  • Evan Hansen: Two friends, on a perfect 'day'
  • Me, and my tree bros heart: I KNOW YOU WANT TO SAY 'PERFECT DATE' EVAN

gather round tumblr it’s time for a story about why you shouldn’t solicit conversation with a stranger with a put down about their generation

i sat down about 30 minutes ago in the lobby of a very nice hotel, intending to do some writing. i have my laptop and my cellphone. as i settled, i checked some stuff on my phone, then turned to my laptop. because there aren’t many plugs, i’m sitting in a cluster of couches and instead of being by myself there’s an he’s an older gentleman across from me, polo shirt, salt and pepper hair. was very polite when i asked if he minded if i tucked myself in the corner of the couch

but apparently

apparently

he thinks computers are full of satan or something

because no sooner have i opened up goddamn word when he goes, “you kids and your electronics.”

ah, excellent, unsolicited conversation with a perfect stranger that comes with a critique of modern communication. fight me, bro, you got no idea who you’re tangling with. so naturally i push up my metaphorical sleeves (metaphorical because i’m in a goddamn resort and pavement is melting; i’m wearing a very nice goddamn dress and i’d look like a fucking soccer mom named helen if i had blonde hair) and very politely, i smash his face into the floor with “i’m sorry?” in an utterly flabbergasted tone because dude wtf and no one delivers slick put downs when they’re caught off guard

“i’m here reading my newspaper and after this my wife and i are going on a hike” (lol good luck with that dude the pavement is melting and you want to hike in the mountains) “and we’re going to interact with each other.” he gives my computer a v pointed look

naturally, i have the perfect response to this. it is pithy and eloquent and will surely put him in his place: “i… like to write, and it’s easier on a laptop?”

“it seems to me” (HERE WE GO) “that your generation” (OH GOOD) “is losing the ability to interact with other people.” (O OK) “my grandchildren never take their eyes off their cellphones anymore!” 

and here he pauses and looks at me. as if he expects me to agree. 

so i say “you were born in the 50s, right?” he says he was born in 59. “well, it seems to me that your generation is really fond of adultery, embezzlement, and corporate fraud, among other things, and i’m really enjoying paying for your retirement.”

i admit: i had this line canned after a little snarl i had with my mom the other night.

he stares at me. i stare back. 

“you also realize,” i say, quickly typing socrates kids these days quote into google, “that people have been saying kids these days since socrates said, and i quote, children now love luxury. they have bad manners. contempt for authority. they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.” i look up at him. he’s staring at me still.

i’m shaking because man fuck confrontation but also how hilarious is this because i literally had a fight with my mom about this twelve hours ago. i literally have a cranky tweet about it. “so it seems to me that making sweeping generalizations about people based on pretty arbitrary age groupings is kind of ridiculous since i’m pretty sure you’re not cheating on your wife or stealing from your company.”

he goes beat red because now i’m embarrassed him, and i feel really fucking bad because i didn’t mean to embarrass him, but also hey dude fuck you

SO OF COURSE he says “did your parents teach you any manners?”

and there goes the last of my embarrassment because hey fuck you dude the only person who can insult my parents is fucking me. and i say, without even thinking because this is when you have the snappiest rejoinders, “well they did teach me not to open unsolicited conversation with a stranger by insulting them so.”

at this point the dude’s wife shows up and they leave, and the waiter asks me if i want anything to drink and i’m like “yes please give me all your vodka” but instead i say “ice water” because the pavement is melting and if i puke from nerves after that, i don’t want to snort alcohol out my nose

that’s it that’s my story

anonymous asked:

whoa ok step back, daedalus built a cow suit for a woman who wanted to fuck a bull and that's why the minotaur WAS A THING? I DID NOT KNOW THIS

I honestly think that I’d be doing you a great disservice if I didn’t tell you about the time Daedalus enabled rampant bestiality, so allow me to clear this gap in your knowledge. 

Anyone who doesn’t want to read a poorly retold myth about a man who built a cow suit so realistic that it totally fooled a magic bull into laying down some absolutely quality homo-bovine dick and siring a minotaur should probably press J on their keyboard right now, but honestly if that synopsis doesn’t do it for you then you should probably just quit Greek mythology all together.

So, Minos is this guy who manages to achieve the dual feat of being both King of Crete and an incorrigible asshole. Also, the first achievement is a really tenuous one, because Minos has like a billion brothers and he’s basically Malcolm in the Middle and all his brothers are better looking than him and they have way better abs and it’s really awkward every year at Christmas because they’re all “could you pass the stuffing, Minos? Also you’re totally stuffed because I’m going to be king one day haha suck it, right on” and so Minos starts to get really worried that he’s going to lose the throne to one of his more lustrous-locked brothers and then he’ll be stuck with just the one achievement of being an incorrigible asshole and so he has a little brood and he comes up with a plan. 

One day, he goes up to Poseidon, god of the sea and all things wet (or at least that’s what he tells girls at the Olympus nightclubs) and he’s like “hey, Poseidon, could you do me a solid?” and Poseidon is like “no bro but I can do you a liquid” and they have a little manly giggle and then Minos says “no but really, I need a favour” and Poseidon is like “well, you just gave me a golden opportunity to mock the states of matter, I’m 100% up for doing any favour you want” and Minos says “well, you know how I have loads of brothers” and Poseidon is like “you mean the better looking ones?” and Minos pouts and says “looks aren’t everything, but yes, those ones” and Poseidon is like “go on” and Minos says “well, I need them to stop trying to steal the throne because it’s getting really annoying and also I can’t sleep at night any more and it’s driving my hot wife insane, could you maybe show that you totally support me being King of Crete? That way, they’ll definitely stop being dicks at Christmas” and Poseidon just nods and says “I have a great idea for how I can do this”

and Minos is like “wow, are you going to send down an army of merpeople and slaughter all my brothers in a righteous and watery battle?” and Poseidon is like “no” and Minos says “are you going to conjure up a giant tidal wave and make it destroy all my brothers’ homes but leave my palace totally intact?” and Poseidon is like “no” and Minos says “well, are you going to turn all my brothers into mermen?” and Poseidon is like “look, I’m going to send you a bull”

and Minos just blinks and says “a bull” and Poseidon nods and grins and says “yes, a bull” and Minos says “THAT’S bull” and Poseidon points behind him and says “no, THAT’S a bull” and then he brings out this fucking phenomenal bull. Like, this bull puts all other bulls to shame. It’s glowing white and it’s as big as two ordinary bulls and probably twice as virile. It’s basically overcompensation in taurine form. Anyway, this bull is so bitchin’ that immediately, all of Minos’ brothers are like “wow, nope, you can keep that throne, we don’t want Poseidon to sic his sick bull on us” and basically Minos lives happily ever after with his incredible bull.

Until eventually Poseidon shows up at Minos’ palace and says “hey, Minos, you know that really awesome bull I lent you a while back?” and Minos is like “what bull” and Poseidon is like “the magical snow white bull which gleamed in the Cretan sun like limestone and Apollo’s cheekbones” and Minos is like “oh, THAT bull” and Poseidon is like “yes, that bull, now where is it because I’m having a bull party next week and I really want it back” and Minos says “well, here’s the thing, and it’s kind of a funny story really and I’m sure we’ll laugh about it later, maybe we could even laugh about it now, ha, but anyway all jokes aside I’m keeping the bull” and Poseidon is all “like fuck you’re keeping that bull, it’s my best bull, this is bullshit” and Minos is like “that’s one of the hazards of keeping a bull, maybe you’re not cut out for it” and Poseidon says “you haven’t heard the end of this, Minos, you have made a very powerful and watery enemy” and he leaves and Minos goes and, like, pets the bull or something, I don’t know what you do with bulls.

So, Poseidon goes back to his soggy lair and formulates a plan, and he eventually comes up with something straight out of Quentin Tarantino’s brie-induced nightmares. He goes to find Aphrodite, the goddess of love and afternoon delight, and says “hey Aphrodite, first of all you look delectable and secondly I need you to help me make a woman bang a bull” and Aphrodite is like “I honestly hate this job sometimes, but you’re right, I do look delectable, tell me more” and Poseidon is like “I had this really sweet bull and I lent it to Minos so he would think I liked him and now he won’t give it back and so I need you to make his wife fall in love with the bull, it’s a foolproof vengeance plan” and Aphrodite says “you are a god” and Poseidon says “yes” and Aphrodite says “why can’t you just, you know, take back the bull with your divine power?” and Poseidon is like “look, are you going to make this woman fall in love with the bull or not” and Aphrodite is like “fuck yes, that sounds hilarious, consider it done and I want front row seats” and Poseidon is like “you are my favourite niece and occasional lover, I owe you one”

Back to the palace at Crete, where Minos’ wife, Pasiphaë, is lounging about on a contemporary equivalent to a chaise-lounge when she suddenly gets this unmistakable urge to do the do with a bull - but not just any bull, her loins quiver only for the bull in her husband’s barnyard. Instead of doing what most people would do when they realise they have an insatiable urge to make tender love to a bull and immediately committing herself to months of therapy, she thinks “I know what I have to do” and she picks up the contemporary equivalent of a phone and calls Daedalus, inventor and architect extraordinaire.

She’s all “hey, Daedalus, we have patient confidentiality, right?” and Daedalus is like “I’m not your doctor, so no” and she’s like “well, I’m your Queen, so how about you say ‘yes’ instead and I tell you what I want?” and Daedalus is like “my lips are sealed, tell me what you need” and she’s all “well, there’s this really rad guy and I totally want to just lay him down and lick chocolate sauce off his body, but there’s a hitch in my plan” and Daedalus says “yeah, you’re married” and Pasiphaë says “yes, and also he’s a bull” and Daedalus is like “do you mean he’s well hung or” and Pasiphaë is like “look man you gotta help me on this, I need me some sweet bullocking and only you can help me” and Daedalus says “I’ll do what I can, but I hope you have a damn good shower at your palace because I may need to use it for about 6 weeks afterwards” and she’s like “done, now get over here and get me some”

So Daedalus turns up and helps her, and in the blink of an eye, he’s built her this monstrous wooden cow suit. Now, the myth is not exactly clear on the mechanics of this bovine sex toy, but it’s established that Pasiphaë gets into the cow suit and goes to find her bullock beau and they make sweet, sweet cattle love all day and all night. I do not know how she manoeuvres herself inside this wooden furry abomination and frankly I do not want to know, but whatever she does is 100% successful because 9 months later she gives birth to another furry abomination. The good news is that he’s a healthy, bouncing baby boy. The bad news is that he is half baby and half bull and also he has this really annoying habit that most newborns don’t have of eating people, which means that Minos is the definition of Not Impressed with his new stepson, so he does what any sane human would do in this situation, and he calls Daedalus. 

Daedalus says “I’m in the shower, what do you want?” and Minos is like “look, my wife has committed a slight indiscretion and I need you to take care of the result” and Daedalus is like “she fucked a bull and she’s had a grotesque hybrid baby, hasn’t she” and Minos narrows his eyes and says “how do you know?” and Daedalus says “just a stab in the dark, mate, I had no hand in this at all, literally none, just let me wash my hands a minute and I’ll be right back” and Minos is like “just build something to trap that devil spawn, because it’s started to eat my servants and I never even wanted a stepson anyway, it’s just one more claim to the throne isn’t it” and Daedalus is like “dude, give me a week and it’ll be done”

and so Daedalus constructs this impenetrable labyrinth that’s so impregnable that Daedalus nearly gets lost on the way out, and they lob the minotaur tot right into the middle of it, and that’s that.

Except then the minotaur starts demanding the sacrifice of seven young men every year, who are tossed into the labyrinth and forced to play a fatal game of cat and mouse with a grotesque superpowered man-bull creature that will ultimately devour them, flesh from bone, at the heart of a labyrinth that only he can navigate, but that’s a story for another myth. Or The Maze, starring Dylan O’Brien, out in a multiplex near you.

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little things about the Dear Evan Hansen cast album

- evan’s “oh… ://// good… :////” in the opening

- the perfect teenage logic of connor’s (not word-for-word) “oh you don’t want me to go to school high, then i won’t go, glad we agree *leaves*”

- heidi and cynthia’s harmonies yas 

- okay but waving through a window is actually v sad especially when you know the storyline and it’s messing me up and ?

- the transition from “do you ever really crash or even make a sound” to “did I even make a sound” like!!!!

- the musical silence from “will i ever make a sound” to when the chorus starts again LoUDLy

- ben’s VibRaTooOOoOoOoOoO

- “i’m on the ground, my arm goes numb.” pause. “and i see him come to get me.”

- the desperation in evan’s voice when he repeats “he’s come to get me” like babe no

- evan calling connor “buddie” pls my heart can’t take this

- the implications of evan, when creating connor in his head, immediately imagined that connor had helped him after falling from the tree like frick

- “Why would you write that?” “I’m just trying to tell the truth” i love you jared

- jared’s sarcasm, “ s m oking d r u gs?”, “KINKY!”, “very specific”

- evan calling connor “dude” lol bro nice try

- even when evan and connor specifically do their “no homo” it’s still very gay 

- HEY HEY HEY HEY ***harmonies****

- cynthia can i hang out with you pls thx

- “that YoUUUU ARe NOt the MONSTER that I knewwww”

- the vibrato on the word “he” like

- ben’s voice so seamlessly transitions from low to high it’s

- “i’m just trying to remember the best ones” too precious

- “you looked really pretty–er–uh–*cough*–um–ah–it looked pretty cool”

- the progressions of the “I love you”s 

- mike’s voice is so pureeeee

- the little final whispered “disappear”

- the growth of YOU WILL BE FOUND to the full chorus just BLASTING their beautiful HARMONIES

- michael park is such a dad, i’m emotional

- can i fight evan’s actual father asap

- “you don’t have to be scared you’re not enough”

- BEN AND LAURA’s HARmonIEs Just!!!!!

- how quickly evan responds, like he’s just so excited, these two

- the hand-drums during “only us” yes 

- ANGRY HEIDI

- g u i t a r “I’m SORRY that I’m NOt EnouGH, THANk GOd They RESCuED You” like fuq let it out heidi

- alana and jared’s harmonies!!!!! their voices are so pretty!!! and strong!!!! petition for an alana and jared musical 

- how quietly ben starts until he’s absolutely BELTING “I gotta find a way to STOP it STop IT just let me OOOOOOOOOUt”

- someone nominate Rachel Bay Jones for a Tony

-ben’s breathing in “words fail” someone help him

- the throwback to “waving through a window” i’m not crying you’re crying

- actually now we’re both crying

- who the fuck approved evan going off his meds like dr. sherman wtf

- how ben emphasizes certain words and it’s so painful i can’t talk about it this song is just so–too-i

- “would they like what they saw…or would they hate it…too” 

- i cri

- hope at the end but i’m still crying

Some Strings Attached

Ugh so there was a post going around that I’ve now long since misplaced but it was like “I just saw you go upstairs with someone else and I know we’re only fuck buddies but I’m gonna go punch them in the face” and I was HERE FOR IT. If somebody remembers the post, link me. In the meantime, have some Sterek getting together fluff.

“Just tell Derek you want to date him,” Scott says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

Stiles bugs his eyes and flails his hands in wordless frustration, because the correct response to this patently ludicrous advice eludes him. He had come for sympathy, not pie-in-the-sky delusions. “Scott. Bro,” he finally gasps. “How could you even suggest that in good faith? No way! Bad plan!” He slashes his arms in a demonstrative X. “The only reason we’re even hooking up is that I made it super clear I was down to fuck, no strings attached! I’m not ruining a good thing by announcing to Derek Hale that I’m 85% in love with him.”

“Why?” Scott genuinely seems confused, the sweet summer child. After falling into a happy triad with Allison and Isaac after their first semester at UCLA, he doesn’t really understand the definition of “unrequited.”

Stiles turns his attention to a hanging thread on his t-shirt, sourly tugging it loose. “He’s out of my league. I mean, with the baseball, and the smarts, and the sarcasm, and those eyes…” he breaks off with a sigh. The last thing he needs to do is remind himself of how gone he is on Derek. “Just, he’s popular. Dictionary definition of too cool for school. And the three people he actually deigns to hang out with here are all just as cool and good looking as he is. Do I need to remind you I’m not? I’m a gawky, nerdy Sophomore. I’m lucky to even be his fuck-buddy.”

Scott makes a face, incredulous. “I dunno, he must like you well enough if he’s still sleeping with you after all this time. What’s it been, six months? And you guys hang out, too, you’re always telling me about how easy it is to chat with him after you bone. So it’s not just sex.”

Stiles grimaces. “Yeah, but it’s not…”


“… a real relationship,” Derek says into the phone, hearing full well the heavy dejection in his voice. So sue him; the admission is more than a little depressing. “He just wants to be fuck buddies.”

“How do you know?” Laura asks reasonably. “Maybe this Stiles person would be interested in dating you, too. No offence, but you’re not great at reading people. I mean, he’s interested in chilling with you even after you hook up, and clearly he enjoys the physical aspect. Did he actually ever say he wasn’t looking for more?”

Derek heaves a sigh, rolling his eyes even though she can’t see over the phone. “Yep. About two minutes after the first time we slept together he said, ‘no strings attached, obviously.’ So, you know, pretty safe bet that it’s no strings attached.”

“Oh,” Laura says. For once she doesn’t have a snappy comeback.

“Oh,” Derek agrees. Dejectedly.

She gives him a sympathetic little hum, and then asks, “and he’ll definitely be at the sorority barbecue?”

“Yeah.” Stiles and his broad shoulders and his long fingers are definitely going to be at the party.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go,” his sister says softly. “If you really like him, and he’s just looking to get laid…”

Derek groans. Not go, and give up a chance to hook up with Stiles? Smart, maybe, but not something he’s capable of doing.

The problem is, he’s liked Stiles forever. Or at least since he first saw him, laughing uproariously and running around with his friends with an actually broom between his legs, playing “Quidditch.” Derek would have been way too embarrassed to do something like that on the front lawn, but Stiles made it seem like the most effortlessly awesome thing a person could get up to.

No, compared to Stiles, Derek is practically a social recluse, an awkward jock with only about three people who he gets along with at all. Stiles definitely doesn’t want to get saddled with a boyfriend like him. He’s lucky they’re even hooking up after all this time.

“Derek, I mean it,” Laura says. “Look out for yourself for once.”

“I know, I know,” Derek grumbles. “But it’s not my fault he’s…”

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Can we please talk about how precious Billy was in the reboot, and how everyone knew that he needed to be protected at all costs? First Jason, then Kim, and then everyone else. Then Rita drowns him and everyone balls 😭😭😭 The hand claps, the cute comments…..the dancing at the end…. blowing up his lunch box. Be still my fragile heart…..

Originally posted by animations-daily


Originally posted by erniesbrainfreeze


Originally posted by veronicaslodges

bootsandbosons  asked:

Trying to explain Clint Barton to my friends who don't know marvel (apart from the MCU) proving difficult. Especially because the MCU gave him a wife, kids, and an honest to god farm. Any recommendations on how to describe my favorite character? (So far all of my attempts either lead to rambling about ceiling vents and the circus or hysterical laughing because "successful long term relationship" and "Clint Barton" are in the same sentence. Unsurprisingly this just leads to more confusion.)

Well, the problem begins (as problems often do) with comics.

See, comics are a sort of ‘soap opera with capes and tights.’  Comics are ‘fanfic but written by mostly straight white guys who are chosen by other straight white guys.’  Comics are a never ending arms race of suffering, and that’s the problem.

So it’s hard to pin down a character.  Because it’s not one character.

Every writer wants to make their mark.  They want THEIR version of the character to be the one that people point to and say, “THIS.  THIS is the quintessential Hawkeye.  THIS is the reason I love Hawkeye.”

Because they’re not going to write the character forever.  That’s comics.  There’s always someone right behind them, nipping at their heels, someone who wants nothing more, in most cases, then to sweep their careful work aside and make THEIR mark on the character.

There’s not much you can do to stop that from happening.  You can write a really good book, you can be clever and creative and still not hit the readership the right way.  You can write A GOOD BOOK and you’ll still end up in the trash heap of the 25 cent bin, because the promotion team or the movie schedule or the competitor’s event cycle screwed you over.

It’s much easier to make a lot of noise.  To be remembered, rather than beloved.  To get people tweeting and talking and protesting and fighting, because that means when you tossed off this book, there’ll be another one waiting for you.

Don’t believe me?  I mean, someone keeps giving Nick Spencer new books.  (shrug)

So there is no one Hawkeye.  The Hawkeye of the early West Coast Avengers has little in common with the Hawkeye of Fraction and Aja’s solo book run.  The Hawkeye of the most recent Secret Avengers by Ales Kot would be unrecognizable to the Hawkeye of the Ultimates verse.  Movieverse Hawkeye is almost a mirror image of Hawkeye of Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.

When you love a character, the question is, which one?  Because even if you take fandom interpretation and fanon out of the equation, there’s a lot of them to choose from.  And while canon feeds fanon, fanon bleeds back into canon.

Describing the character you love takes some effort, some cherrypicking.

For me, it’s this:

On the surface, he’s ordinary.  And his awareness of his ordinariness is part of what makes him so extraordinary.  He’s raised himself to his current position by sheer force of will and a refusal to stop.  He’s bullheaded and snarky and has a chip on his shoulder the size of the island of Manhattan.  He’s not as stupid as he thinks he is, and he’s not as good as he believes he is, and both of those facts are a little heartbreaking.

He’s a man who destroyed his own hearing, because he knew if he didn’t, he was going to hurt someone he loved.  He’s also a man who entered canon trying to rob Tony Stark, which was universally regarded as a very bad idea, since that’s how a lot of people end up dead.

He’s not a god or a genius or a super soldier.   He is a man who looked at the end of the world, and said, fuck you, I’ve got a COUPLE OF STICKS AND A PIECE OF STRING and I’m still going to KICK YOUR ASS.  There is something comforting about that, for most people.  

We want to believe, after all, that if push came to shove, if things got bad, then we would stand up.  With all the risk, and all the fear, and a very good chance that we would not win, we want to believe, that we would still stand.

So all the other stuff, the ragged ends and the bad choices, the stupid plots and the OOC moments, the embarrassing contradictions in canon and the writers who can’t figure him out or don’t want to bother trying, it melts down to one truth at the core of his character, every time.

He is a man that doesn’t feel too different from you or me.  And he stands.  He makes bad choices, he screws people over, he ruins relationships and cheats on partners and girlfriends, he does stupid, stupid things, because this is a soap opera, and half the writers don’t remember what the last one did and the other half don’t care.

For all the parts of him I don’t like, he’s still my favorite.  Because he shouldn’t be there.  He has no place there.  He’s outgunned and outflanked.  Everyone around him is smarter than him, better trained than him, better equipped than him.

And still he stands.  With a bow.  He stands.

And says, come at me, bro.

3

andreil lil red riding hood au where neil befriends a golden wolf with sweets

i’m running with the wolves tonight

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rly dumb connor/evan headcanons that no one asked for but here they are

  • evan always leaves notes in connor’s locker. sometimes they’re cutesy boyfriend things like, “you look extra cute today,” and sometimes they’re not like, “tell cynthia i like the new fabric softener she’s using, your clothes smell great.” 
  • connor visits evan at pottery barn all the time, almost always uninvited. he claims that he is genuinely interested in overpriced homegoods, but evan can see right through him. 
  • connor loves the smell that evan leaves behind when he spends the night. evan’s cologne (is it cologne?) is subtle and comforting, so connor doesn’t mind that his pillow and bedsheets smell like evan the next day.
  • after a lot of begging from connor, evan finally let him paint his nails black. he ended up liking the process (all that hand touching) but not the end result, and took off the nail polish the next day with the help of his mom. 
Juggy & Bets Theories :D

[SPOILERS]

There’s been some worry going around that there hasn’t been a lot of development when it comes to Betty and Jughead’s relationship in the story. People kind of feel that, even though they know from spoilers that something will happen, they don’t know if it’ll be justified. I think it will, but not in the way most people are thinking. See, Betty and Jughead aren’t just meeting each other for the first time at the beginning of the series. They already know each other very well, and are friends in the way most people would be if they were best friends with the same person for a similar amount of time. Jughead and Betty are friends out of default because they both are very close, very old friends of Archie’s. Because of that, their relationship is a little different than other friendships probably. Likely Betty and Jughead met each other as early as grade school, and learned to share Archie and get along with each other ever since. They ended up probably hanging out with each other when they were younger, more out of obligation to Archie. I imagine they spent some time being not just friends, but enemies too. They’ve likely seen each other at their worst, and their best and come to truly appreciate each other. They’ve seen each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and learned to compliment each other.

And I think the writers are slowly building up that existing closeness with the audience. There’s a few things that really tip us off about this relationship.

1. Nicknames - Betty and Jughead both have nicknames for each other. Betty has nicknamed Jughead “Juggy,” and Jughead has nicknamed Betty “Bets.” Both people are very reserved, and this is a closeness that they are comfortable sharing. It’s also a pair of nicknames used only between them.

2. Being able to hang out together alone without being awkward - This is a huge one. Being of the opposite gender and in high school, the fact that they can hang out at the newspaper or anywhere else for that matter, together alone likely for extended periods of time, means that they are incredibly comfortable being around each other.

3. They talk off screen - When Jughead showed up to talk to Betty at the paper, it wasn’t because he wandered in. Betty spoke to him off screen prior to that to tell him to meet her. And he showed up, even though he didn’t really understand why she wanted to meet. The fact that the initial interaction happened off-screen suggests that they talk a lot more than the series lets on.

4. Sharing inside jokes and knowing what the other wants and feels without talking about it - There are small moments between these two where they have real chemistry. Like when Betty asks if he and Archie want to join them in Pops, and Jughead has his first real moment of bold charisma and charm in the series. Or when Jughead asks Betty what kind of film she wants for closing night and she names “Rebel Without a Cause” and he looks over at her with the most loving, “you do know me” expression there is. In that same vein, when she sees Archie come through the doors moments later with Grundy, and Betty dismisses herself, Jughead knows exactly what she’s about to do, finding out within seconds that she knows the same thing about Archie that he knows. He instantly throws as much effort into trying to stop her as he can, because he doesn’t want to see her get hurt.

5. Jughead cares deeply about Betty - I know this is a huge leap, but hear me out. If you watched the thunder rolling through Jughead’s emotions this past episode, the disbelief when she went on a date with someone else, the way he tried to comfort her about Polly, the way he blushed when he stood in front of Betty in a suit, and the way he held on to her and went after her the more the world tore her down, you might understand where I’m coming from. Jughead strikes me as someone who doesn’t love easily, and when he does, it begins very subtly before it completely knocks him on his butt. But his physical affection towards her stretches leaps and bounds because he isn’t comfortable with hugging or holding anyone else. Not even in a bro-like way. The fact that he’s extended that affection so much in a single episode also suggests something else… He was waiting for her to get over Archie. He stood out of the way and let her work it out and heal until he was sure she was okay. And then despite everything that was going on in his own life, he stood in front of the storm and let her use him as an anchor when she needed him.

6. Betty trusts Jughead more than anyone else - Out of all the close friends that Betty has, the one person she chooses to spill her darkest, most gut-retching secrets about her sister to is Jughead. Her trust for him runs so deep that when he makes a suggestion that a member of her own family could be involved in Jason’s murder, she pins it up as a viable possibility without argument. She trusts him because he doesn’t throw his words around lightly. She trusts his instincts and his reasoning, and he respects her for her rationality and her intelligence… something they both share.

I’ve written a lot (I’m not sure all of it makes sense either), so I’ll just say… we’re getting there, and I think its going to be amazing. If anyone is interested, I did dive a little more into Jughead’s personality > here <. :)

Just Friends (requested/smut)

❀ genre : smut ❀

❀ pairing : taehyung x reader ❀

❀ word count : 1172 ❀

Originally posted by buisually-appealing

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@lumenlight prompted me, “Sterek AU where Stiles tries to seduce Derek but Derek has the habit of only dating older people (Jennifer, Kate …). So he says no to Stiles and Stiles is really disappointed but by chance he keeps seeing Derek and with time Derek realizes that he may have made a mistake?”

Hope you like it!! 

~4000 words, rated M. (I don’t usually write smut, but I felt like this was that kind of prompt.)

on ao3

Stiles usually doesn’t venture as far out of town as the Preserve—there’s not much out here but trees—but today that’s kind of the point. If he’s going to start up a jogging regimen to prep for lacrosse in the fall, he’s sure as hell not going to do it in his own neighborhood, where all his neighbors can (and will) watch him flailing around looking stupid.

He doesn’t actually end up jogging at all, though, because before he finds the trail he’d marked on his map, his Jeep abruptly sputters and dies on him right in the middle of the road. That’s also about when it starts raining.

“Oh, come on,” Stiles groans, hitting his head on the steering wheel a few times.

He pulls out his phone to call someone—his dad, a tow truck, Scott—and there’s no signal. Right. Because he wanted isolated, and he got it.

There’s no sound at all except the drumming of the rain on the roof of the Jeep, coming down harder and harder, taunting him for being such a fucking idiot.

He thinks about waiting it out, but who knows how long that could take, and if he doesn’t make it back home in time for dinner or at least get somewhere where he can make a phone call, then his dad is probably going to think he got eaten by a mountain lion or something.

“Fuck it,” he mutters. He pockets his phone and keys, grits his teeth, and jumps out into the downpour.

*

He has to walk for about twenty minutes before he finds any sign of civilization. It’s a house, or at least part of one. It’s tucked away down a long dirt driveway on the edge of the Preserve and looks sketchy as hell. It’s been burned, badly, and even though it looks like maybe someone’s been fixing it up, it’s still not exactly what Stiles would call habitable. Part of the charred roof is caved in, and most of the windows on the second floor are shattered, their jagged glass gleaming ominously in the dim light and the rain.

Stiles would assume it’s abandoned, except that there’s a shiny black Camaro parked out front. That at least looks well cared for.

It’s that detail, plus the rather compelling fact that this is probably the only house for at least a mile and Stiles can feel his feet starting to rub raw in his wet tennis shoes, that finally gives him the courage he needs to squelch his way through the mud and onto the porch to knock on the door.

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Jealous Girl.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Readers.

Warnings: SMUT. Jealousy, annoyed reader, PWP, unprotected sex (Kids, remmeber to wrap your presents). Public sex, me being a shameless hoe for Murder Daddy.

Word Count: 1262.

Rating: 18+

So… I wanted to write jealous reader. @sexylibrarian1 was ordering me to finish this so I could go and start writing that other thing (she knows what I’m talking about). Here you go, now you have something to complain about.

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2. Kissing // Nurseydex

« {Part 2 of my Valentine’s collection.} »

a/n: this is loosely inspired by that scene from the webcomic Always Raining Here because i read the whole thing a couple of nights ago and let me tell you, there were feelings. enjoy!

“Eat shit, Nurse,” Dex said, taking another swig of his beer. “I told you that you didn’t stand a chance.”

“No fair, man. I totally would have won if you hadn’t blue-shelled me there at the end,” Nursey grumbled. He set down the Wii remote and got to his feet, trying to figure out how drunk he was. No dizziness or major balance fuckery, it seemed, but his head definitely felt kinda fuzzy. Now was probably a good time to start chugging some water; he still had homework to do later. He went to fish his water bottle out of his backpack.

“I only blue-shelled you because you blue-shelled me the last lap,” Dex said. “I won that fair and square.”

“Psh. If I were sober—”

“Dude, you only had three shots. You’re 6’2”. You’re fine.”

“Yeah, but you only had, like, a beer and a half, so between the two of us, I’m definitely the more impaired one here.”

Dex rolled his eyes. “Just admit I won. Stop being such a sore loser.”

“Well maybe you’re a sore winner.”

“I know you’re an English major, but ‘sore winner’ is not a thing.”

Nursey shook his head in mock outrage. “You come into my house—”

“Your house? This is my dorm room, Nurse,” Dex laughed. “You’re in my dorm room, playing on my Wii, drinking my alcohol.”

“…Touché,” Nursey admitted, returning to his spot next to Dex on Dex’s couch. He was probably sitting a little closer to Dex than was strictly necessary. He could try to blame the shots for that, but like Dex said, he was a 200-pound hockey player. Three shots of Fireball spaced out over the last hour really wasn’t much for someone his size. If he hadn’t been a city boy with no driver’s license, he could probably still legally drive.

The real problem, Nursey thought as he glanced at Dex out of the corner of his eye, wasn’t the alcohol—it was his stupid crush on his attractive yet probably tragically straight teammate. But that wasn’t really something he liked to dwell on.

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A Gifted Chef

I was lucky enough to be the next-door neighbor of a world-class chef. Like, legit world class. Like, Michelin star class. Yeah. The real deal. Stewart Therriault. Maybe you’ve heard of him.

One of the benefits of living near Stewart was getting to try all the sumptuous, creative dishes he’d make whenever he was home. Seriously, the guy cooked all the time. As soon as I’d see the lights go on in his house, it was only a matter of time before thick, luscious aromas wafted into my home. And, because he was a great guy, he’d often bring over a plate or two for me to try. “It’s all practice for the restaurant,” he told me.

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anonymous asked:

I like how your drawings of the boys have different things that make them unique. like kook's eyes and jimin's wing thingys. can you tell us all the detail for the boys :0

LETS TALK ABOUT CHARA DESIGN HECK YES

  •  I guess Jungkook’s design is pretty easy to get ahah. Irl he has really big eyes and bunny teeth so it wasn’t difficult for me to come up with! Then for the sparkles: I really wanted to accentuate this “innocent” or “clueless” vibe. His eyes are expressive, you can really see his passion in his eyes when he sings! Not saying that the others aren’t passionate, it’s just that his eyes are so expressive like he doesn’t even need to speak, you can directly see what’s going on (in my opinion ofc). So I just thought that sparkles would be a great representation of that! Also Jungkook isn’t 100% innocent, he loooves to tease his big bros. I know that I didn’t really have the chance to show this side of Jungkook, but since he’s such a tease, the gap between this and his BIG SPARKLY EYES is funny :^DD. At first he only had two “white bubbles” in his eyes, but then I said fuck it and added an entire galaxy. ALSO THE NOSE YES, I removed the nose. I want people to concentrate on his eyes, so I thought that the nose took too much place and was kinda useless? for his design. Actually a lot of people don’t even notice that he doesn’t have a nose ahah. And I think he looks so funny with his mouth on the nose area.
  • Tae’s design was also easy for me to come up with! He has amaaaaazing eyes, big and elongate, and ofc THE LASHES DAMN. Also he is really playful and that’s what I wanted to accentuate. So I mixed these ideas and bam I created his eyes. I really like it because it looks like he has something in mind like “ha ha ha :^DDD how am i gonna tease ma bros”. ALSO his iris aren’t round, it’s like two straight lines. I think it goes well with the playful side and the “blank tae” side lol. I also draw his amazing brows and his squared smile, he’s so cute ;;;
  • JIMIN. There’s two Jimin: normal sized and smol. For the normal sized Jimin I just try to replicate his natural eye shape, he kinda has puppy eyes! So nothing big. Of course the lil wings because he’s really sweet and just an angel in general. NOW THE MOST INTERRESTING PART: smol Jimin. Because some people always tell me “WHY DO U DRAW JIMIN SMOL, HES NOT THAT SMOL PLUS YOONGI IS ALSO SMOL, 0/100″, listen I’ll explain. The thing with Jimin is that he’s really cute but at the same time he really wants to give this “manly” vibe if you know what I mean. You know the “IM DA MAN IN DIS HOUSE”. So I just thought “ok, there’s cute Jimin, and manly Jimin but still cute, ok let’s create two Jimin”. Smol Jimin always wants to fite everyone and he’s fierce (like in my “not today what really happened”). That’s why I draw smol Jimin: because it’s funny af. Jimin likes to appear manly, but the fact that he is 30 cm in my comics makes everything pretty funny. This is the reason why I don’t often draw smol Yoongi, because he doesn’t give a fuck. 
  • Namnam ayyy!!! I recently changed his design so it’s a great occasion to talk about it! This man is S O F T, 100 % soft. He’s just cute ok, like look at his smile, I’m sure he’s sad when he walks on flowers. So I wanted him so have big iris (kinda) and also squared ish eyes. Because with this I can do two different things: softysoft Namnam and istg i’m done with everyone Namnam (like  in the last panel of the BS&T jpn ver comic), very easy to make :^DD And I added a white bubble inside because cute ok. He’s cute fite me. And finaly the flower on his head. He loves nature so so much so I just thought “why not adding a flower”. And ofc I never forget the dimples.
  • Hoseok’s turn :^DDD!! I just wanted him to be a sun ok, so that’s why I did. He has sunlight all around him, he’s like a walking sun. His eyes always look like he’s smiling even when he’s not. I also add a slight aegyo sal. THE NOOSE. So Hoseok is the only one with a different nose (i mean Jungkook doesn’t have one so it doesnt count). It’s simply because I personally think that he has an interresting nose shape and I just wanted to draw that! His mouth is basically a heart when he’s smiling and sometimes I add the dimples (i love dimples).
  • I talked about Gigi’s design here!
  • FINALLY SEOKJIN. I just l o v e his design. I love to draw him so much. Irl his eyes are really big and he kinda has cat eyes so I just drew that. His eyes are pretty round but yeah not like Jungkook. I like this eye shape because it makes him look sometimes playful and sometimes sassy depending on what I want to draw! Also he has two lashes because he’s pretty. And, the, sparkles. He’s just pretty so he needs his sparkles around him that’s all :^DDD

DONE holy shit it was long to write, I can talk about this forever I’m not even joking

Anonymous said: A jeffxreader where she sits with the jocks at their lunch table bc she recently broke her arm and they are rlly protective of her especially jeff bc he likes her and just include silly banter amongst all of them and maybe later jeff finally gets the courage to ask her out and she happily agrees and fluff thnx <3

Author’s Note: Dear requester, I had to switch arm to ankle because I royally screwed up. Sorry!

Originally posted by janevillanuevas

JEFF X READER

“Seriously, Jeff, you don’t have to keep driving me to school,” you chuckle. “I’m plenty capable of doing things on my own still.”

Shaking his head in refusal, Jeff parks in the student parking lot of the high school before turning towards you. "If it wasn’t for me goading you, you wouldn’t have been playing flag football with us, Y/N. I sometimes forget just how rowdy those idiots can get.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It kind of is.”

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Come on cry with me cause I can’t be crying all on my own  that’s sad

it has hit me that Yakov is a single father with 4 adoptive children that include:

eldest son, pride of the family, set the standard and now everyone else is fucked (except in the memory department cause everyone is better than him there), ran away with his Japanese boyfriend and their dog, family kinda coming around for the guy cause he is cool though.

second son, always compared to the first, more in tune with feelings than the eldest one but so much so that he becomes total mess when sad, takes breakups badly, likely a sad drunk, still happy that the big bro has a cool boyfriend though

the only girl, is closest with her younger bro, stronger than any of the boys and they are proud of her, takes breakups better than second bro, wants to know your personal life, props bi, looks more fashionable than you is regular work out clothes

youngest child, mom’s favorite as well as grandpa’s favorite, is angry all the time (unless grandpa is there), knows their new brother in-law the best and hates admitting he likes the guy, only seems to love cats (maybe too much), gains motivation out of spite, wants to surpass his eldest bro and is on his way to do so, talented af but boy can that arrogance be a bitch

bonus:

surprise son in-law that Yakov was like, the last person to know about, warming up to the guy though, only person capable of dealing with eldest son’s bs, probs makes good Katsudon for everyone, too pure for them to hate him at the end of the day, same name as youngest son, not very good with Russian but he tries

Fanfic idea. Langst & Shance

-Lance is palaDONE™
-homie just isn’t havin it anymore
-Kieth comes around talking shit?
-Pidge starts snapping/name callin/general rudness?
-Shiro being an asshole and yelling at Lance when it wasn’t his fault bc God forbid Kieth or Pidge fuck up?
-Allura screamin at lance after a failed training simulation where someone else messes up?
-Hunk not defending his bro after everyone beats lance down?
-Coran is too pure. He’s like Lance’s father. Coran tries to get everyone off his case
-bless him.

-He is done with putting up with everyone coming after his wig
-Lotor singles lance out and comes around playing on Lance’s insecurities
-“They don’t value you. Come with me, I’ll show you your true worth.”
-Lotor gives him a week to decide

-that entire week has been shit.
-everyone has ragged on him.
-Pidge is snappy BC they aren’t any closer to finding their father or brother
-Kieth has been snappy. BC he’s like that
-Shiro has been strict lately, all for the “good of Voltron”. He singles out lance even when it isn’t his fault
-Allura is a slave driver, recently lance has been the one doing all the work
-Hunk hasn’t help Lance at all, there has been no interaction between the two
-Coran has been shielding Lance away from the abuse,, being a great dad
-One day after a galra attack and he’s receiving lectures from everyone Lance staright up snaps.

-he starts crying, just silent tears,, everyone is shook
-BC lance is always smiles and stupidity
-lance starts ranting about how shit everyone has been to him
-he goes off with straight facts about how they’ve been blaming him for their issues and everyone is shocked BC what?? We wouldn’t do such a thing??
-Coran stands by Lance and pulls up videos
-everyone is shook BC they are really shit people
-Lance just stands there on tears.
-he confesses abt Lotor’s offer
-“maybe I should leave, maybe someone will actually care about me and value me.”
-everyone is shocked BC have they pushed their blue paladin that far he’s willing to join the enemy??

-Lance runs out and biolocks his room, not even Allura can bypass the biolock
-he doesn’t leave for five days until there’s a battle call,, he’s been stashing food in his room for months
-there’s a mountain of pillows and blankets outside his door? The pillows have tear streaks? Pidge’s half worked motherboard is by a green pillow, Keith’s crossword puzzle book is on the other side of the hall beside a red pillow, Hunk’s recipe journal is opened to a page titled “Lance’s comfort” on top a grey blanket, all of which is full of memorized recipes, Allura’s tablet is by a pastel pink blanket by Pidge’s setup, Shiro’s is right in front of Lance’s door, who almost ate shit bc he tripped on Shiro’s black duvet.
-Lance is touched but he isn’t ready to forgive just yet.

-everyone is in the hangar waiting for him, their eyes are red, they look shitty
-Lance just looks at them before getting in blue
-Shit its Lotor
-he only came to get Lance’s response
-this bitch broadcasts through the main channel, every paladin can see.
-“its been a week my dear, have you realized they don’t care for you?”
-There’s silence from Lance

-Hunk is the one to break first, he starts to sob and beg for Lance’s forgiveness, that he’s sorry he’s a shitty friend and an even shittier person, Pidge is next; they start sobbing into the com about how they can’t lose another family member to the galra and how sorry they are.
-Keith’s voice is low, but heavy with sorrow and apologies. He wants lance to be happy, and if that means to go with Lotor he should go. Allura cries softly, like a kitten, her grief saturates her voice, the sorrow and remorse is palpable
-Shiro’s voice starts off strong, no wavering, no emotion. Until he starts about how he loves Lance romantically,, his voice cracks and there’s sobbing
-everyone is sobbing

-Lance feels horrible bc he did this. He brought them all to tears bc he had a fit.
-“Forgive me prince loltor, I can’t take your offer. I’m sure there is someone else willing to be your concubine”

-Lotor coencedes and leaves them, “expect a battle next time.”
-Silence on the coms
-they’re back in the hangar
-lance apologizes “for throwing a fit like a pendejo estropeado” (a spolit idiot)
-everyone else denies Lance’s apology bc it’s their fault
-everyone hugs the shit out of lance, his shirt is soaking wet with tears and snot
-Shiro kisses his forehead and begs for a chance to take lance out

-lance is wary but accepts apologies and agrees for the date

-everyone retires to Lance’s room for a cuddle puddle and team bonding

-Shiro and Lance’s date is successful,, they’ve hit it off and are too damn sappy

-no crosses paths with Lance bc his new motto is “talk shit get hit”
-only valid when you’re being a right dick to him.

-Coran has been standing off at the side lines offering his input for Lance, he will be the best “padre” this boy will ever have. Coran also gives everyone, even Allura, the shovel talk about trashing his unofficial son/fav paladin

-Coran will put the through the ringer and toss them into the open airlock
-mess with the space-father and you’ll be a victim of the space-slaughter