Context: I’m a new DM playing with a small group of veteran D&Ders (consisting of a high-elf Ranger, a Dragonborn warrior and literal cat? cleric), and they suggested that we do a small series of one-offs to get me used to being a DM. We’re in our third one, which is based off the C'thulhu mythos, and they’re about to face off with Nyarlathotep when this happens.
Me: Okay, you find your way to Nyarlathotep’s chapel and as you enter, you hear his voice in your head saying, “Ah, my sacrifices have arrived.”
Ranger: What does he look like?
Me: Knowledge check that.
Ranger: *rolls an 18*
Me: You remember he is described as a tall, swarthy, sinister man, looking as if he had just walked out of Egypt. Dark skin, dark eyes, well built; he looks like a Pharaoh that walked straight out of the past.
Warrior: I roll to seduce!
Me: Excuse me?
Warrior: I roll to seduce the handsome Egyptian-Eldritch god.
Me: … I don’t even know why I’m allowing this but okay.
Warrior: *rolls a nat20*
I’m just staring in disbelief at this point, and everyone else is laughing.
Me: Okay, fine. Nyarlethotep pauses and considers, then grabs you and stuffs a tentacle down your throat and into your stomach, placing something, probably an egg of some sort, there before tossing you back down. Congratulations, you are now pregnant with the Dunwich horror. In about a month, it’ll eat through your stomach and probably you before bringing chaos upon the world.
Now its his turn to stare, and I’m just like, “What?”
Cleric(OOC): Wait, what? His character’s a dude!
Me: The forces of chaos care nothing about your insignificant human gender binary.
Cas is trying to fix breakfast when Dean falls in love.
They’ve always been together, even when they weren’t. They’ve always known that whatever exists between them is cosmic, is a fate not even they can refuse.
But it takes Dean walking into the kitchen and seeing Cas squinting at the toaster to really accept it.
“What are you doing?” Dean asks warily.
Cas just stares at the toaster, leaning forward slightly, all muscles tense like he’s ready to take flight. “Making toast.”
Dean isn’t sure whether he should be rolling his eyes or leaving the room quickly. He decides on continuing to investigate. “You don’t eat toast.”
Cas still doesn’t flinch. “You do.”
Dean nods. “Thanks for that. But why do you look like you’re at war with the toaster?”
Cas brushes the question away with a shake of his head, concentrating. When the toast pops up, he jumps, arms raising slightly in an almost defensive stance.
“What the hell, Cas?” Dean asks, finally irritated enough to let it show in his voice.
Cas moves to the toaster, still wearing an undershirt and boxers and looking nothing like the warrior angel he is. “I don’t understand why the toast pops out so aggressively. Maybe it’s a way for humans to get their blood flowing in the morning. But I don’t trust it.”
Dean pauses for a moment to let that sink in, then starts laughing, deep and loud guffaws from somewhere so deep it almost never sees daylight. And that’s when he falls in love.
He walks forward and accepts the plate of toast Cas is proudly thrusting toward him, and sets it on the counter.
“Don’t you want to eat?” Cas asks, face falling slightly.
Dean runs his hands through that messy, dark hair, then pulls Cas into his arms, locking his hands at the small of Cas’ back. “In a minute.”
The Legend of Zelda:
you haven't played any loz games since this one.
you own the entire legend of zelda animated series on vhs.
A Link to the Past:
you're an elitist snob and/or you hate yourself.
you just want to be able to beat someone else up with multiplayer.
you fuckin love whales.
Ocarina of Time:
good man. who doesn't like this game. your favorite band might be the beatles though.
your blog title is "welcome to my twisted mind"
Oracle of the Ages:
you're a twin. your sibling got pokemon blue version.
Oracle of the Seasons:
you're a twin. your sibling got pokemon red version.
you are easily distracted by bright colors and pretty music so the endless sailing never bothered you. you want link's grandmother to adopt you.
Four Swords Adventure:
you just want to be able to beat someone else up with multiplayer, but on the gamecube.
The Minish Cap:
you thought it was adorable that you could become really really small and explore. You also have the hots for vaati.
you were that kid in elementary school who was way too obsessed with wolves. Possibly a furry.
you want to marry linebeck. I don't understand you. You also managed to get all the different boat designs somehow. How the fuck did you get all the parts for the golden ship. I hate you.
you really liked that zelda was a kindof playable character. The overworld theme plays on repeat in your head at all times. Link is so cute as a conductor. Wow link is adorable
your wii controller actually worked so link's sword went where you swung it.
A Link Between Worlds:
you were endlessly entertained by just fuckin slamming link into walls. You found every painting link could stand behind so it looked like he had a funny head. chicken link is your god.
you've never actually played a real zelda game.
sorry if these aren’t v good,,,, i’m bad at writing headcanons or writing in general,,,
Keith - Has a little dragon stuff toy,, it was given to him by his mom -sometimes when hes sad he’ll just hug the toy,, - Even though he’s busy all the time (warrior stuff) he likes to read and draw. a lot. he might not be good at it, but it expresses his feelings and his room is just covered in unfinished / finished paintings. - sometimes he steals lance’s jacket ‘cause it smells like him - when lance, pidge or hunk aren’t around he talks to red (about lance, about his day, about his family) - red will rest her head on keith’s lap and keith will pet her as he talks - keith files red’s nail every so often because he’s scared that she’ll break them when landing - he and lance sometimes do each others nails, then the dragons’ - he used to be really bad at nail painting till lance showed him how
Lance - lance is the one who paints keith’s nails - lance loves to read and is a dragon geek. since he wasn’t allowed to be a warrior when he was younger, he spent all his time reading, learning as much as he could about dragons and their anatomy and just everything in hopes to impress at least someone - when keith is down he’ll read to him,, stories about dragons and warrior legends, ‘cause he knows that keith loves to hear his voice - he likes to weave his own flower crowns and make red and blue wear them together - lance then pesters keith to draw them - lance also made a flower crown for keith made of red roses on his birthday and keith actually teared up - he drew all over his dragon saddle with ink and let it dry
Hunk - on special occasions he’ll cook a really really good meal for the paladins to enjoy - he likes to fly to quiet places and nap with yellow - sleepovers!! he plans them thoroughly and makes sure that everyone is comfortable - there’s one of those baby mobile things that are made of shiny shells that hangs from his ceiling and he loves it sm - every sunday he cooks with his mom and they enjoy it a lot - whenever yellow coughs or sneezes hunk is super worried and makes yellow rest for a day or two
Pidge - when she was a kid she and matt went out to sea when they weren’t meant to and found a blue-spotted gray egg - she watched that egg, kept it warm, took care of it for many months and it hatched and named the dragon rover - pidge likes to hang around in the place where the armorsmith works ‘cause she likes to see how everything is made - she hung around there until the armorsmith let her become his apprentice - she modifies everything - she was the one who molded shiro’s arm and added little functions to it - rover and green are always fighting for attention - rover helps pidge with getting stuff - pidge’s saddle for green is the most high-tech - green and her like to go out and pick healing herbs
Shiro - he has an… interesting bond with black - he’s constantly stressed as he’s chief and yells at black all the time - black is mature and strong (emotionally and physically) so he doesn’t really care - once shiro fell off black during a flight and black saved him - their relationship was better after that - black is v curious about shiro’s arm, and shiro’s curious about black’s tail (which is broken like toothless’s) - they match - the paladins like to draw on black’s tail, and she pretends to hate it - lance once showed shiro some tricks with blue and shiro called it stupid - shiro ended up mastering every single trick with black and for a week they strutted around and whenever they passed the paladins their mouths would be wide open and shiro found it hilarious
Allura & Coran - she’s super strong and can kick anyone’s ass - when she found out about the village’s dragon arena she challenged every dragon trainer and beat them all - she works with pidge to create medicines for both dragons and people - coran works with pidge in the armorsmith place (whats the word i forgot ,, ) - coran is super scared for pidge ‘cause she likes to pour liquid iron into a mold from a high point - allura is concerned for pidge as she likes to fly recklessly - allura and coran will both kill the person who lays a finger on any of the paladins - they’re secretly competing to see how many times they can save the paladins from danger allura’s stats: keith  lance  pidge  hunk  shiro 
Matt - he and shiro are seeing who can be the most buff - you can barely see him on a day to day basis as he’s always exercising - whenever shiro sees matt on the streets he’ll lunge at him and tackle him in hope to finally defeat him in wrestling (he gets the element of surprise) - it doesn’t work - matt is normally seen with dumbells in his hands and it pisses shiro off - his room is basically a gym his bed is one of the gym things - shiro is trying to get matt to tell him his secrets - “its a drug that pidge made isn’t it” - “shiro i don’t take drugs” - “theres no way you can be more buff than i am”
[ @parfaitperi i hope you like it,, sorry if it like,, sucks,, or doesn’t really apply to your au storyline as it’s kinda based off my storyline,,,, which i am still writing (i was the one who asked you for fanfic permission)]
It was amazing!!!! Here are a couple of the highlights (may contain SPOILERS also lots of gifs, none of them are mine)
Gal Gadot is pitch perfect as Wonder Woman. She nails every single scene she’s in and she can do it all…romance, comedy, action, drama. Her version of Diana is the Wonder Woman I’ve always admired. She’has an innate sense of good and a strong desire to help people. She can’t just stand on the sidelines if she knows she can help and make a difference.
She’s also adorably naive as a fish out of water adjusting to man’s world and this is also where a lot of the comedy comes from.
Oh and there’s absolutely no denying that she’s ridiculously gorgeous. I fully believe that she actually is a Greek goddess.
Chris Pine is fantastic as Steve Trevor. I’m so glad DCEU snatched up the last Chris and cast him in this role. Steve is brave, he’s kind, he’s funny (his impression of a German officer was incredible) and like Diana, he has an innate desire to do good.
He’s supposed to be a spy and observe and report back but he can’t just do that when he knows that millions of lives will be lost if he just follows everything according to plan.
Also, Chris plays so well off of Gal Gadot. Their chemistry is just so good and I was rooting for them the whole time.
I know they predate Steve and Peggy in the comics, but their chemistry and the nature of their love story reminded me of Steve and Peggy’s relationship and made me enjoy it all the more. I adored all of their interactions together starting with their Little Mermaid like introduction with Diana saving his life and dragging him onto the beach,
their scene in the pools with Diana clearly checking him out,
the whole scene on the boat and the “ALL RIGHT I’LL SLEEP WITH YOU”,
Steve’s reaction to Diana in regular clothes and Diana saving them
and pretty much everything they did together.
Themyscira (a.k.a. colour porn)…Diana’s home is undoubtedly the most gorgeous place we’ve seen in the DCEU thus far. Colours abound EVERYWHERE. Diana rides a horse through a field of bright yellow flowers, she dives into vibrant blue waters, and the field she trains in is a lush green one. I want to live there and never come back.
The action scenes were kick ass! There was a bit too much slow mo, but overall I liked all the hand to hand combat scenes and really seeing Diana in her element, showing us what she’s capable of and handling he sword, shield, lasso, and bracelets like the bad ass warrior goddess she is.
Everyone needs to go see this movie because it is awesome and just look at this beautiful, precious face: