he's like 'are you kidding me with the baby holding

Give me a story where one of Bruce’s children has a kid (it doesn’t matter who, but Jason would be so sweet as a father) and Bruce is blown away by the fact that he is a grandfather. Where he’s standing there holding this tiny baby in his arms and he’s completely lost for words. He’s never been good with words, but now he can’t even begin to form them.

Because this is something he never expected. Not in a million years did he imagine himself as a grandfather. He had seen his life going down a very specific path when he was young. A very specific, very lonely path. Long term attachments had been outlawed to him by his choice of lifestyle, and children were even more out of the question.

He’d always known what the cape and cowl meant: an end to the Wayne family line. He had no siblings, and no close relatives. No one to continue the historical name, and he’d been ok with it. Or at least he thought he had. So when Dick, then Jason, Cass, Tim, and Damian had come they’d each been a surprise. A happy surprise, a surprise that was to Bruce always fleeting. Especially when he lost them, especially when he got them back. 

So no, he hadn’t expected a grandchild. Not when everyone of his own kids had followed his footsteps. They’d all done it in their own unique way, but Bruce still saw what they did as a road with one outcome. That outcome was never settling down, never finding ‘the one’, and never starting their own family.

Yet. Here he stood, holding, not just the next generation, but the third generation of the Wayne name after his parents. Bright and bubbly, in his arms there was life, and with life hope for the future. Not just the future of his family, but the future in general. Because if a man like him could be so lucky to have made it to becoming a grandfather, then the world was better than he’d thought it was.

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴀʙʏ sᴇɴᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴇ!


      PREGNANCY -

❝ We’re going to be parents! ❞
❝ Did you feel him/her/them kick!? ❞
❝ Do you want to feel the baby? ❞
❝ I’m pregnant…and it’s yours. ❞
❝ Do you think I’ll make a good mother/father? ❞
❝ What are you hoping for? ❞
❝ I feel so nauseous today… ❞
❝ What should we name him/her/them? ❞
❝ How many diapers do you think we’ll need? ❞
❝ You’re crying over a puppy? ❞
❝ Is just strawberry okay? They didn’t have strawberries and cream. ❞
❝ I’ve read this book four times I’m basically an expert by now. ❞
❝ Boy or girl? ❞
❝ Wait, do we have everything on this list I found? ❞
❝ Can you put the crib together? I’m so tired. ❞
❝ This kid can come out anytime it’s ready. ❞      
❝ You’re glowing. ❞
❝ How far along are you? ❞
❝ Please don’t freak out…but I’m pregnant. I SAID DON’T FREAK OUT. ❞
❝ Hospital. Now! ❞
❝ I think that was a contraction… ❞
❝ The due date’s not until next week! ❞

     NEW BABY -

❝ S/He’s your kid before five in the morning. ❞
❝ We need to go on a diaper run again. ❞
❝ We’re out of formula–where’s the other can!? ❞
❝ Ugh, s/he spit up on my good shirt! ❞
❝ S/he won’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do. ❞        
❝ Please take him/her, I’m going to go crazy with the screaming. ❞
❝ Is it even possible for a baby to scream so much!? ❞
❝ Should they be breathing like that? ❞
❝ I need to go check on the baby. ❞    
❝ If you never put him/her down you’ll spoil him/her. ❞
❝ Daddy/Mommy’s little girl/boy! ❞
❝ Good morning, little spawn of Satan! ❞
❝ Shhh, they’re finally asleep.  ❞    
❝ Dammit, I just got them to sleep! ❞
❝ Be careful, s/he’s a hair puller…. ❞
❝ Where’s the pacifier!? ❞
❝ I can’t find his/her blanket, please help me. ❞    
❝ I’ve been up since four this morning, it’s your turn. ❞
❝ I found you and the baby sleeping in the recliner at six am and it was so precious. ❞
❝ Stroller, diaper bag, playpen, blanket, bottles, what else do we need before we go to your parents? ❞
❝ A babysitter!? Are you insane!? ❞    
❝ You’re going to spoil them. ❞    
❝ We can’t go out with the baby, that’s just asking for trouble. ❞
❝ Baby’s awake… ❞
❝ S/he’s so precious…. ❞
❝ This is our son/daughter…. ❞
❝ We make damn beautiful babies. ❞
❝ Look at his/her little feet… ❞
❝ S/he has your eyes. ❞
❝ Do not dress him/her in that! ❞    
❝ Be careful with him/her! ❞
❝ Did you remember to pack his/her toy? ❞
❝ His/her first tooth came in today. Already bit me.❞
❝ Did you hear that? That was a cough.❞           

        CHILDREN -

❝ The kids won’t stop fighting. ❞
❝ We should have another. ❞
❝ Stop giving them dessert before dinner! ❞
❝ You’re going to spoil them rotten… ❞
❝ You need to learn not to fall for the puppy dog eyes.  ❞
❝ I just love them so much!? ❞    
❝ How are we going to break the news to them that they’re getting a brother/sister? ❞
❝ Their screaming woke the baby… ❞    
❝ I’m a horrible mother/father… ❞
❝ How can you make the baby hush and I can’t? ❞
❝ Was that a word!? ❞
❝ His/her first word better not be a damn cuss word! ❞    
❝ You look exhausted. ❞
❝ First steps! First steps! ❞
❝ Watch, s/he can roll over now! ❞
❝ I don’t want anyone else watching our baby/children. ❞    
❝ They totally wanted to build the pillow fort, not me. ❞
❝ Can you manage dropping them off? ❞
❝ Damn terrible twos, right? ❞
❝ How did they outgrow their clothes so fast!? ❞   
❝ I think we make damn good parents. ❞
❝ Why are both you and the baby crying? ❞
❝ Here, I’ll watch him/her, you go relax. ❞
❝ I haven’t been able to put her/him down all morning/day/night. ❞    
❝ S/he doesn’t want me, s/he wants you! ❞
❝ S/he just ran into the coffee table, don’t worry. ❞
❝ Stop fighting with me in front of the kid/s! ❞
❝ We shouldn’t have dressed the twins in matching outfits… ❞    
❝ Can I hold him/her? ❞
❝ S/he has separation anxiety because you never put them down! ❞
❝ My mother always hoped my kids would end up like me…I’m so sorry. ❞
❝ I wouldn’t let them do ____, so they started crying. ❞  
❝ Oh, s/he’s just a little angel! ❞
❝ Hello, little one! ❞
❝ I can babysit if you’d like. ❞
❝ Guess who broke your favorite ____. ❞  
❝ Finally got him/her/them to sleep. ❞
❝ It’s your turn to put him/her/them to bed. ❞
❝ I hate bath time. ❞
❝ Can you help me with the kids for five goddamn minutes!? ❞
 
❝ I think ____ is jealous of the baby. ❞
❝ ___ just hit ___, can you do something!? ❞
❝ Is locking kids in the basement against the law!? ❞
❝ They’re cute when they’re quiet. ❞
❝ Maybe taking them to the park will let out all their energy. ❞
❝ _____ colored on the walls today… ❞
❝ Look at the mess they made again… ❞      
                     

Haikyuu ships with their first baby
  • Kagehina : "KAGEYAMA HE LOOKS LIKE THE LITTLE GIANT"
  • Tsukkiyama : The baby becomes a small Tsukishima
  • Daisuga : They already have 7 children
  • Asanoya : ROLLING THUNDER JR.
  • Ennotana : Proud parent Tanaka
  • Kiyoyachi : Best Moms
  • Bokuaka : "Kid can you help me dress up Bokuto-san ?"
  • Kuroken : Future gamer
  • Kurotsukki : "Tsukki how does this thing work ?"
  • IwaOi : "I'm still the cutest"
  • Ushiten : He has Tendou's eyes and Ushijima's personality
  • Tensemi : "That's not how you hold a baby Tendou !!"
Dog Mom Life- Moments with You

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Reader and Tom have a hike with Tessa because the Reader is suggested exercise for their baby.

Warnings: Swearing cause I love swearing IRL. Plus Tom swears too :,) Tom as a Dad, cute fluffiness even a cloud could say awww 

Word Count: 1,000+

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this post! Don’t forget that requests are open \(^.^)/ I’m so thankful for all the support you guys give me c:


[Reader’s POV]


    After your doctor’s visit two weeks ago for a check up. Tom and I have been going on daily walks on hiking trails.He has been home due to having a break from all the press and movies. Your doctor advised exercise and to be stress free. The two of you always brought along Tessa cause she loved the outdoors. Being around Tessa was a stress reliever itself. 


“Tom wait for me” I let out a huff making my way up the hill. Watching as Tom and Tess made there way up with ease. Tess tugging forward making Tom stumble a bit.


“S-sorry love, Tessa got too excited” he explains pulling her back and reaching for my hand grasping it. Pulling it up he kisses the top of my hand. A small smile appears on my face.


“Well look Tess we now have our whole family at our favorite spot” he grins leaning down. Rubbing her head he then turns to you with a grin on his face. Tom’s smile was as bright as the sun. His smile is the best thing to look at.


“It’s easy for you to say, at least you’re not carrying a little human” I say placing a hand on my stomach. Walking towards the ledge looking over the town. The fresh air making me feel at ease.

Keep reading

Cravings (Steve x Pregnant!Reader)

Got this request a while ago (honestly I cannot apologize enough for how bad I’ve been) for a one shot spin off from the preference How They Act When You’re Pregnant. So here’s some Dad! Steve x Pregnant!Reader!! Enjoy!(:

~~~

It’s official. You have hit a new low. Sitting in Tony Stark’s bathtub in your husband’s biggest t-shirt surrounded by jars of peanut butter and pickles. Gosh what had driven you to this?

Of course you knew the answer. It was your husband- Captain America himself. The man with the plan Steve Rogers who was probably looking for you right now. Well you and his Captain America shield which you had propped up against the nearest wall. 

To be fair though, you hadn’t started off this crazy. You had started off with the normal kind of pregnancy. The kind where you had morning sickness and 2 a.m. cravings and swollen feet. And Steve had been (and yes if you had to admit it from your hiding place in the bathtub, still is) great. He held back your hair and rubbed your back when you got sick in the morning, or really any time of day. He went to the store in the dead of night to get you peanut butter and pickles. He even rubbed your feet after rough days of training because he was honestly the most amazing person ever.

Steve Rogers was playing the part of perfect expecting father. Until he managed to find those damn pregnancy books at Barnes and Noble one day. 

From the day he came home with not one, not two, not even four, but five bags full of parenting books you knew you were in trouble. Gone were the days of getting you food at all hours of the night and in came the reign of terror where instead he would present you with “healthy alternatives” of veggies and protein shakes. Gone were the blissful afternoons of foot rubs, instead replaced by Steve literally dragging you to the gym to do prenatal yoga or making you walk around the awful crowded paths of Central Park because you needed “fresh air” (whatever that was).

Honestly after three months you couldn’t do it anymore. So here you were in the middle of the afternoon sitting in Tony Stark’s bathtub slathering peanut butter onto pickles, something you had craved more than anything and had cried over more then thrice when Steve refused to let you eat any. 

You’re phone buzzed with another text from you husband and you were about to start feeling bad and reply when the bathroom door flung open.

“(Y/N)! There you are!” Steve’s eyes were filled with worry for about two seconds before it was replaced with hurt and anger. “What are you doing here? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for four hours now! And why are you sitting in the bathtub like that? You’re going to hurt you back!”

Your eyes began to feel itchy with tears as you realized how worried Steve must have been. He loved you and you guys’ baby so much and the idea of anything happening to the two of you must have been driving him crazy. You set down the jar of peanut butter you were holding in your left hand and were about to get up and apologize when his next words stopped you.

“And how many times do I have to tell you to stop eating peanut butter and pickles?!” Steve took a step forward but your cold glare stopped him in his tracks. 

“Steven Grant Rogers I will end you. If you come one step closer and even THINK about taking away my snack which YOUR baby is making me crave I will grab your shield and hit you with it so hard you will still be unconscious when I give birth.” The seriousness of your tone made your husband take a small step back.

As the red haze cleared from your vision you noticed the hurt on Steve’s face. He looked like a golden retriever puppy that had just been kicked. His blue eyes looked up at you beneath his full lashes and his hands fiddled with the bottom of his t-shirt. 

“I just wanted to help….”

The simple phrase hung in the air as you just stared at each other. It only took a few seconds before you burst into tears. 

“I’m so sorry!” You wailed, dropping your half eaten pickles and burying your head in your hands. 

“No honey! I’m sorry!” Steve rushed over and picked you up out of the bathtub with ease. He lowered you both to the ground so you were curled up in his lap as he stroked your hair and rocked you gently. “I know I’ve been a bit much but.. I’m so scared.” The admission hushed your sobs a little as you looked up at Steve who had a distant look in his eyes. “I don’t know how to raise a kid, and my dad was never around. I have no family to help me. And that doesn’t even compare to how worried I am that our baby is going to be just as sickly as I was before the serum, or they could be like me now and hurt you. (Y/N), I haven’t felt this lost in a very long time. I’m so used to having control over everything and now… now it’s all gone when it’s the most important.” Steve laid his forehead against yours and closed his eyes. You could tell he was trying to hold back tears which made your heart clench.

“Steve you are already the best dad in the world. You are so loving and caring and brave and such an inspiration. And you have a family. The team is your family, and they might be completely crazy, but they will always be here for you. For us. And about our baby it doesn’t matter. If they’re sick, it’s okay. Medicine has come a long way and we’ll give them everything they need. If they’re strong great, I can handle it Steve. Everything is going to be great. You don’t need to be in control of everything all the time. Just let things happen. Like letting me eat peanut butter covered pickles.”

Steve gave a hearty laugh as he rubbed his nose against yours. “I love you (Y/N). I couldn’t do this with any one else.”

“I love you too Steve. And I wouldn’t have wanted to do this with anyone else.”

You lean into your husband and give him a deep kiss. You knew he wouldn’t be perfect, he would probably still drag you on walks and read all kinds of new age parenting books but it was okay because you knew where he was coming from. And if he ever tried to take away your snack again you would feel no hesitation in beating him with his own shield. 

“Umm. As much as I’m glad you two love each other can you do it somewhere that isn’t my bathroom floor?”

“Sorry Tony!” 

~~~

Hope you guys liked it! Requests are open for one shots and preferences!(:

2

She found him, curled up on his bed and under his covers, she could hear the faint sounds of sniffles erupting from his chest. The blankets quaked as he sobbed softly. 

“Sodapop, baby.” His mother whispered softly, her heart grew heavy with sorrow as she sat beside him. “Who hurt you?” 

“N- no one…” The sound of his voice was muffled by his pillow. 

“Honey, I can’t fix this if you don’t tell me what happened. I want to help you, I really do. Come out and show me your beautiful face.” 

“Mum…” He choked, pulling himself up so he could look at her. “I tried so hard, I really did. I tried so hard and I failed, why am I a failure? Why can’t I be like Darry or- or Ponyboy? Why can’t I be like-” 

“Hey now, none of that.” She wrapped her arms around his body and she held him in her arms like she used to when he was just a tiny, little boy that was crying over a scraped knee. “What on Earth is this about?” 

“I got an F” His tears were spilling from his eyes as he shook in Mr’s Curtis’ arms. 

“Sweet heart, is this all over an F? It’s just an F baby, you’ve never been this worked up over one before.”

“You don’t understand.” He placed his head against her chest, her soft heartbeat soothed him like a lullaby. “You don’t understand… I tried this time. I really tried to get an A.”

“Oh darling.” She sighed, her fingers glided through his perfectly greased hair. “I know how upset you are-” 

“I’m dumb, I’m so damn stupid.” 

“Hey. Don’t you dare call yourself those names, do you understand me, you’re not dumb, you’re not stupid, you’re my special little guy, you’re-” 

“I’m nothing like Darry or Ponyboy” He cut her off. “They’re smart, Ponyboy is only 12 and he know’s how to write essays and thesis’, Darry know’s advanced Calculus and he’s going to an Ivy League school, and I’m never going to amount to them, I’m going to be a lazy bum.” 

“Don’t you ever compare yourself to Darry or Ponyboy, you hear? They’re book smart, I know that. But books aren’t everything, I’m glad that they’re able to grasp school, and I’m proud of them both. But I’m proud of you too.” 

“Why would you be proud of me, I’m an idi-” 

“Sodapop Patrick Curtis.” Mrs Curtis wasn’t having his self deprecating attitude any longer, she turned him over on his stomach and she swatted his bottom with as much force as the tiny woman could muster. 

“Ow! You hit me!” He accused, his eyes were wide and clouded with hurt. 

“I merely swatted you, you keep going and you’ll getting a spanking. I don’t care if you’re 15. You’re still my baby.” She wrapped him up in her arms once more. “I am proud of you, every day and I will never stop.” 

“How could you be proud of me?” He asked softly. “I don’t understand.” 

“You mightn’t be book smart, Soda, but you’re definitely not dumb. Books don’t get you everywhere. This world needs more people like you. You’re so creative, you’re the only kid I know who makes blue mash potatoes. You’re so kind, in a world like this one, it’s not something you see every day. You have a heart bigger than this state. You’re the glue that holds this family together, and one day, you’ll find something you’re great at, and you’ll make a career out of that. An F doesn’t make you a failure. I just want you to keep being the boy I love, the boy that I am proud to call my son. I want you to stop seeing yourself as a failure and see yourself through my eyes and your dad’s eyes. We love you. Nothing will ever change that.” 

“I love you mum.” Sodapop said softly, his eyes brimming with tears as he wrapped his arms around her. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

“Oh honey, I ain’t ‘dyin for at least another 60 years, you’re stuck with me.” 

Not with a bang but with a sneeze

So, this is for everyone in @ladydrace‘s sterek bar. @acollectionofsterek said something about sneezing and “oops, there’s a cub in my arms”. What she meant was that there was a baby that sneezed and then turned into a baby wolf. What I interpreted was, well, this. This being the crackiest I’ve ever written.


There’s a loud sneeze from the kitchen and then there’s wailing. Stiles hurries up from his place on the couch, not so much because of the sneezing but the wailing – that’s definitely new. It doesn’t sound like Derek at all either, that’s the problem.

”Der-?” the rest of the name get stuck somewhere in Stiles’ throat. Derek’s holding a baby. A naked baby. A baby boy. Because the baby is naked, so Stiles can see that it’s a boy.

”What-? Why-? How-?” Stiles stammers.

”I sneezed,” Derek says, holding the wailing baby boy as far away from himself as possible, as if it is toxic. Which it might be.

Keep reading

Daddy A-Z: Johnny

Originally posted by withsuh

Disclaimer: I couldn’t find the original poster this came from, but I got this from philanddanxreader, I didn’t come up with this. 

Donate | Masterlist

A = Announcement.- How do you tell him and the world that you’re expecting?
I feel like Johnny and his s/o would be that annoyingly cute couple that does elaborate birth announcements that go viral. Telling Johnny would probably be along the lines of doing it on a holiday and giving him a present that’s like…baby shoes and he’s just looking at you like ‘why the fuck did you give me doll clothes’ until it smacks him in the face that 'these are….oh fuck’ and he’s immediately crying. Telling the world and the members would probably be lowkey troll-ish. Like just dropping hints here and there like, “me and mama are going shopping, but i dont think these clothes will fit either of us”, or walking around with an obvious ‘#1 dad!’ shirt and waiting for someone to ask wtf that’s about so he can just smuggly reply ‘lol yeah, imma be a dad.’

B = Books.- Did he read the books?
Johnny read a few. More likely he read the books you bought. With Johnny, I feel like he’s one of the guys that takes a mommyDaddy and Me class, babysitting, things like that to actually experience taking care of a baby, rather than reading about it. 


C = Cuddles.- Who cuddles the baby more? 
Giant tree dad Johnny is 100% glued to the kid. The majority of the first few months, Johnny doesn’t let the baby out of his sight, his tiny offspring is always in his arms, he’s going to be the parent you walk in the room and see him passed out in the rocking chair with his baby on his chest, sleeping.


D = Daddy.- His reaction to being called Daddy and it setting in. 

Being big dumb Johnny, I swear he’s going to constantly be wearing his ‘dad’ shirt, so the entire world knows he’s a dad. But the moment someone actually calls him Dad, he’s just going to end up a big, dumb, smiley mess and giggling like ‘yeah, im dad, woo’

E = Empty.- Who goes to the store when you guys run out of supplies?
You can bet your ass that Johnny’s going to have one of this kid pouch things that you strap your kid in to like a bulletproof vest. He’s done strapped himself and the bub in and heading off to the store before you can even tell him there’s no milk. He knows. He’s on it. 


F = Feeding time- Who does feeding time?

Johnny, he’s like a master on getting baby ‘whines a lot’ to eat. But then again, Johnny ends up making a bigger mess feeding the babe than the baby making a mess eating. Better get a rag.

G = Grumpy baby. - Who is better at dealing with a grumpy baby? 

Johnny is the king of getting a pouty baby to laugh, with his dumb faces and soothing voice. All Johnny really has to do is talk near the baby, and instantly, it’s like sunshines and rainbows touched the kid and the baby is as happy as can be again.

H = How?- how many kids does he want?
I feel like Johnny is more of a less is more, kind of guy. He’ll probably be the one to only want one, or two at the most, just to keep it a small, and warm family. Easier to keep track of when you’re at Disney Land every other weekend. No kids will be lost.


J = Jokes.- best dad joke? 

“What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose XD”

K = Kisses.- His favorite place to kiss the baby.
Johnny’s such a nose kiss kind of dad, and you know it. Whether it’s with his s/o or his bub, he’s giving those good ol’ eskimo kisses, it’s his thing.


L = Little.- How he feels when he holds the baby for the first time.

I bet you anything the first thought he has when the baby is put in his arms is ‘fuck….its little.’ And then probably cries, because it’s so little, and cute, and you and him made it, and fuck he’s a parent holy shit.

M = Mommy.- what does he call you? 

Johnny’s so Daddy and Mommy kind of dad. He’s definitely getting you matching shirts, mugs, stickers for your car, everything. 
Mommy and Daddy. 
<3

N = Nappies.- who deals with the really bad ones? 
This will probably be the only thing Johnny argues over in the relationship; who has to deal with the poops. 9/10 it ends with rock, paper, scissors, and 8/10 times he loses and has to deal with the stinky diaper.

O = Onesies- Who likes to dress the baby in ridiculous outfits? 
Johnny dresses pretty well, I think? I don’t think he’d be the one to make the baby look like a sideshow performer, that’ll probably be on your hands lol.


P = Pet names- names he calls the baby. 

Dammit I’m hurting myself, fuuuuuuck. Johnny’s a fcking giant, you know he’s going to call his kid his ‘little one’ you know it, I know it, the frog in my fish tank knows it. 

Q = Questions.- How many questions does he ask the nurse? 

I don’t think Johnny will ask too many questions, if any at all, after going through the classes and stuff. I think he’d be more inclined to ask questions about his s/o’s well being and how to help minimize the after birth stress and pain.

R = Rely- what is the biggest thing you rely on each other for? 

Most cases it’s emotional support. I feel like you’d rely on each other to just remind one another that this is the hardest part, and it’s going to get better. Johnny’s certainly the comedic relief in the relationship, so he’ll be cracking jokes when you’re ready to give up, and comfort you, and the same to him.

S = Sleep duty. - who gets up when it’s really late at night? 

Johnny’s such the perfect husband material that it hurts my soul. He’s definitely the one that gets up at night more often, it’s probably along the lines of 80:20 on who gets up more. He’s determined to give you as much sleep as possible, and after all, he is the master at calming his baby down.

T = Trepidation.- fears as a new parent. 
I feel like his biggest fear as that he’s not going to be taking his role seriously. It’s a stressful time, and jokes are his coping mechanism, so he’ll probably be terrified that he’s acting like a clown more than a father, and while he is doing the absolute most, he’s afraid he’s not pulling his weight while he’s joking instead.


U = Ultra sounds.- His reactions to the ultrasounds.
Lord knows the water works cut lose hard when he saw the blurry image of his baby wiggling around on the screen. He practically had his face pressed against the screen, and sobbing about how ‘that’s our baby! we made that! holy shit we’re having a baby’


V = Values.- what is the most important value he wants to teach your child.

Although he doesn’t show it, I’m sure he’s seen the hate towards him, and he either doesn’t let it get to him at all, or he’s just holding it together well. I feel like he’d be one to instill the ‘love yourself’ thing in his kid. Because honestly, if you’re confident in yourself, no one can knock you down.

W = Water.- Who gives the babe the baths? 
Because Johnny’s usually the one that made the mess, I feel like he gives the baby baths more, and it’s more like a joint bath. ‘fuck, kid puked on me. well, might as well kill two birds with one stone, lets go baby pukes a lot, bath time’


X = X-mas- what do you guys plan for the holidays? 

Holidays are so fun with Johnny and you know it. He’s probably got you all wearing cheesy family sweaters, and sent Christmas cards to everyone. Holidays with Johnny are those extremely cute family movies, it’s all warm and fuzzy and full of love.

Y = Yelling.- How many fights do the two of you get in? 

Again, I don’t think Johnny would fight with you over anything with the baby, besides the chocolate diapers. He’s relatively calm, and even when he’s mad, he’ll fume on his own, rather than blowing up at you.

Z = Zoo- How crazy is the house after the birth?
It’s literally that: a zoo. There’s applesauce on the ceiling, there’s toys clogging the toilet, is that Johnny’s puke on the rug or the baby’s, god only knows. I’m pretty sure you’ll need to hire a full time maid, or let Taeyong be your house mate to clean that mess up, good lord…

A Helping Hand (and maybe mouth)  {Lee Jooheon + IM Changkyun}

Originally posted by chyogi

Prompt: Numbers 37 and 69 with Jooheon and IM

Pairing: Jooheon x Reader x Changkyun

Word Count: 3.8k

Warning: Just rounds of oral (no actual sex…yet…)

Requests Open || Smut Game 1 || Smut Game 2 || Smut Game 3 || BTS Masterlist || GOT7 Masterlist || Monsta X Masterlist

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chimaerakitten  asked:

oooooh tell us more about little!Bruce's fascination with Alfred

i can’t believe you picked the exact thing i wanted to talk about

so alfred’s just a regular valet, right? his life has zero to do with the life of the resident baby, except to roll his eyes when the annoying fleshy sack starts wailing. up to this point in his life, he’s never been a kid person, or a baby person, or enjoyed the presence of anyone younger than eighteen. the waynes had nannies for this sort of thing, why would alfred have to do it?

so, here’s the thing. when i was a kid, all i wanted was my grandmother. i would scream and scream and scream until i heard my grandmother, and then i would keep screaming until my grandmother was holding me. i wanted no one else in this world, and no one could figure out why, because my grandmother is not even that good with babies. in fact, she’s terrible with babies, she’s dropped a few, and i was just a baby possessed. i submit to you that bruce was the exact same way with alfred, and if it wasn’t alfred, he didn’t like it.

the fascination with alfred didn’t wear off as he got older, either, and as a toddler he was probably gripping alfred’s pants leg and tottering after him the way baby elephants grab their mother’s tails. sainthood for dear alfred is so, so close, because do you know how many times he’s turned around and BOOM there is a tiny child peering at him? do you know how many near-heart attacks he’s had because bruce JUST POPPED UP UNEXPECTEDLY. do you know how creepy a pale, dark-haired child in an ancient and looming house can be? the answer is super fucking creepy. 

so basically: bruce spent galas and parties hiding out with alfred, and also avoided his parents with alfred, and also insisted alfred do all the things with him. essentially, he was like a little bur that you get on your clothes, except probably twice as annoying.

Tyler Seguin

Another short Segs story

Request: I NEED A TYLER SEGUIN ONE BASED OFF HIS INSTA STORY WHERE YALL ARE VISITING THE CRACKNESS BABY FOR THE FIRST TIME AND THAT’S WHEN HE FIGURES OUT HE WANTS KIDS WITH YOU PLS SAM PLS

Originally posted by scratchedforlife


“Tyler, are you even going to share her with anyone else?” I laugh as Tyler once again takes his teammates brand new baby from yet another person.

               A shy smile appears on his face as he glances up from Lynde’s beautiful little face and my heart flutters in my chest. She is so tiny that she easily fits in Tyler’s hands, her head gently cradled. We have been visiting the Cracknell’s for nearly an hour already and he has yet to go five minutes without asking for her back when someone else gets a turn.

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One Day // Ten Chittaphon

-

the prompt: can you do a chittaphon scenario where him and the reader are baby sitting the reader’s little sister or nephew n then start talking about the future n like having children bc children r cute, to sum it up fluff fluff fluff!!

words: 1647

category:fluff fluff fluff

author note: i love kids. like it took awhile, but the little buggers grew on me tbh. here’s ten being adorable :’) note: i will just be using Y/n/n for your nephews name. also ten’s new selfies why must he do this to me

- destinee

Originally posted by y-ta

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anonymous asked:

How would guys react to their baby girl teething on their fav things?

~Sakamaki~

♥Shu: Ugh, careful… You’re going to electrocute yourself if you bite my mp3 like that… Ah, look a this… You got it wet. How bothersome…

♥Reiji: No! Not that–! -he quickly grabbed the bottle away from his daughter’s hands- This is a poison I’ve been working on… Good grief… You shouldn’t enter here, little one.

♥Ayato: My takoyaki!! Ah, you little punk… You’re going to pay for this, mini-me! -he said, holding his baby close. Of course, he didn’t mean it.- Ah, it’s still edible!

♥Kanato: Ahh! Don’t touch Teddy! You have a lot of toys in here! -he might be a father now, but he’s still a kid on the inside who goes crazy if something happens to his belongings.-

♥Laito: Ah, don’t touch my fedora, please~ You’re a really naughty kid, ne~? Come, bite this, instead. It may soothe your aching teeth~ -Laito gave his toddler one of his macarons. He didn’t like sharing very much… But it was better if he sacrificed a few macarons instead of his fedora.

♥Subaru: -He panicked the moment he saw his child playing around the rose garden, trying to get one of the roses in their tiny mouth- NO! Sheesh, this is dangerous…-he took off every thorn of the rose, and handed it to his child- There you go…

~Mukami~

♥Ruki: -Sigh- Don’t touch my book. How many times have I told you this? -he grabbed it and put it on a higher place.- Come with me, take these candies, instead.

♥Kou: Agh, don’t bite my cds, Nyan-chan! I’ve bought you a lot of plushies, haven’t I? Go play with these instead! Ahhh… I hope my cds still work…

♥Yuma: Heh, are you feeling hungry? -he chuckled when he saw his little daughter nibbling on an apple- Here, take these grapes. Those are softer, y'know.

♥Azusa: No…! -his eyes widened when he saw his baby daughter grabbing one of his knives- Don’t touch… Those, please… Your mother will… Hate me if something… Happens to you…

~Tsukinami~

♥Carla: That’s my ham… -a really creepy voice came out of him- Hm… What should I do with you? Your attitude is the same as your mother’s.

♥Shin: Hey, don’t bite that! -he took the nuts out of his baby’s mouth- You could choke on those. And you don’t even have teeth yet! Haaaah….

Hey There, Delilah | 7

CHAPTER SEVEN | YOUR OPINION DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE


You left his apartment without another word. For the next few days, you wait for him to call—whether it be because he needs your help with something, or just because he wants to apologize for acting like an ass. You’d go over there yourself, but you’re too hard-headed to concede—he needs to know that he can’t be a dick and expect everyone to tolerate it. But it appears by the radio silence coming from his end that he is just as stubborn as you.

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EXO Reactions: Their Reaction To Their S/O Being Bratty {NSFW}

Could u please do a exo reaction to their girlfriend being bratty ? Thanks


Baekhyun:

Baekhyun is a lowkey dom. He’d never admit it but he doesn’t like to not be in control, in society or in the bedroom. Although the punishments never got too harsh, Baekhyun didn’t like it when you acted out, embarrassed him, that’s what really pushed him over the edge. The embarrassment.

“Baekhyun?” You whispered in his ear,

“Yes?”  He whispered back, turning his phone off and dropping the device in his lap.

“I had fun tonight,” You slurred, resting your chin on the hand you had clamped down on his shoulder. “So much fun, with all the drinks, and the dancing, and the music,” Baekhyun nodded, giving you a small smile, moving his hand to your knee.

“That’s good princess, I had fun too,” You giggled, picking up his hand from your knee, slowly moving it up your leg, spreading your legs to shove it in-between them.

“I need you to touch me Baekhyun.” You moaned, making his hand cup your heat. “I need you so bad,” You whimper, rocking your hips against his hand. This caught the attention of the two members seated behind the two of you.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Sehun asked, the tips of his ears heating up.

“Nothing!” Baekhyun quickly covers up, waving his hand at the younger member, “She didn’t say anything.” Baekhyun weakly smiled, whipping his head around to glare at you. He removed his hand from in-between your

“I did though,” You pout, the alcohol that rushed through your veins gave you courage, courage you really needed to try Baekhyun like you were,“I said, I want you to touch me.” You grabbed his hand, moving it in-between your legs again. “Please touch me Baekhyun, please,” You whined, your voice loud and clear for everyone in the car to hear you. You felt the car swerve for a second, Junmyeon nervously chuckling from the driver’s seat.

“Y/N, stop,” Baekhyun growled, his body shaking. He takes a deep breath, moving his hand from in-between your legs once again.

“But Baekhyun! I need you touch me,” You whine, throwing your head back against the seat. The members in the car knew better to turn their heads, to seem too toned in on the conversation so everyone pulled out their phones, trying to seem busy.

“Y/N, are you really testing me right now?” Baekhyun grabbed your thigh, digging his nails into your skin. You hissed at the pain, running your tongue over the chapped skin of your lips.

“What are you going to do Bae? Make me cum twice? Fuck me a little harder? Your punishments aren’t punishments,”  You mumbled, playing with your fingers, your lips spreading into a smug smile. As hard as they tried the members couldn’t help the chuckles that rumbled through their chests, filling the car, making Baekhyun’s stomach twist.

“Now listen here you little disobedient whore, if you want to be punished? Okay, that’s where I’ll go. I will tie you up to the bed, and make you cum time after time until tears are streaming down your cheeks, and your thighs are shaking. When you’re begging me to stop I’ll only smile and then I’ll finally, finally fuck that abused cunt, while you wither and scream beneath me.” He rests his forehead against yours, “Do you get that?” You nod your head, his words sobering you up. “Are you sure, do you completely understand?” His words are loud and clear, every member in the car can hear him, loud and clear and that’s what he wanted, to let them know he was in charge. “Do you understand?

"Yes,” He smiled, patting your thigh.

“Good.”


Jongdae(Chen):

Jongdae is much like Junmyeon in this case, it all depends on which day you catch him. Jongdae was more considerate though when you acted out on one of his bad days, he didn’t threaten to spank you, he just simply…ignored you.

“Come on Y/N, let’s go,” Jongdae sighed, grabbing your wrist, trying you to pull you off the bench you sat on to try on shoes and to measure your foot. “Are you really going to do this? Right now? Here?” He watched you cling onto the bench, your knuckles turning white. This was common, these fits, and since they were so, you’d think he’d be used to them by now, but he never was. Every time you put one on it caught him by surprise. The first one you had ever thrown was at the movie theater because when you were at the counter you hadn’t asked for nachos and Jongdae wouldn’t go back to get you some so you got upset. It was silly really, looking back on it you felt embarrassed but Jongdae didn’t mind it, he just didn’t talk to you for the rest of the movie or for the car ride to your shared apartment from the movies. “Y/N, we have ten minutes until we need to get back to the dorm and we’re already going to be five minutes late so I need you to cut me some slack,” He tried to pull you off of the bench again only to receive another grunt from your end.

“Jongdae, you promised!” You cried, throwing your head back,

“I know but they don’t have them today baby, maybe some other time.” He smiled politely at the passing parents. their kids holding their hands, pointing at the grown woman that was acting like a child. “I’m sorry,” He waved to them, before turning his attention back toward you. “Y/N, stop, get up, you’re acting like a child.” You shrugged you didn’t care. “Why do you always act like this when you don’t get your way?”

“Make them have then Jongdae! I really, really want them.” You clasp your hands together, shaking them at him. “Please!” Jongdae, sighed, looking around the shop.

“I’m giving you one last chance, get off the damn bench and walk out this store with me or-”

“Or what Jongdae? What are you going to do?” You narrowed your eyes at him and he narrowed his eyes at you,

“Are you testing me right now, like really testing me?” You give him another shrug and he slowly nods, processing your choice. “Fine, your choice.”  He drops the bags he held in his hands, turning on his heel before hurrying out the store. The action leaves you on the bench, jaw dropped, tears gathering in your eyes. You pouted and stood up, gathering the bags in your hands. You thank the employee at the end of the aisle, giving her a wide smile.

“Jongdae…baby…wait for me! I’m sorry!”


Chanyeol:

(The things I would let this boy do to me…cough, cough…what?)

Chanyeol, the cheeky little fucker. He loved when you acted out, he loved when you planted your feet and crossed your arms, screaming no at the top of your lungs. He simply lived for it because he knew you knew the consequences and he knew you loved them just as much as he did.

“Chanyeol,” You called, playing with the hem of his shirt you had slipped over your naked body. You had just gotten out of the shower and your hair was in a bun on top of your hear, your glasses propped up on the bridge of your nose. You and Chanyeol had argued about this look multiple times, you thought you looked like trash-no makeup, hair not done, but he, on the other hand, thought you looked sexy, yeah not beautiful or cute but sexy. “Chanyeol,” You call again, stepping into the living room to find him talking on the phone. “Who you talking to?” You ask, lowering your voice as you stepped closer to Chanyeol, who laid out on the recliner.

“My stylist, she said she talked to the company and we’re going over hair colors,” You kinked a brow,

“Sounds interesting but you know what would be even more interesting?” You giggle, running your tongue over your teeth.

“What did you have in mind?” Chanyeol asked, his eyes flickering over your body. You took your glasses off and folded them setting them on the table beside the recliner. “Red, that would be nice.” Chanyeol hums, motioning for you to lift your shirt. You did as he said with a small smile, pulling it completely over your head. You sat there, on his lap, naked, whilst he talked on the phone. “Pink? Pink would look nice too. I mean honestly…any color would look nice, it’s me.” The stylist laughs, Chanyeol laughs. Chanyeol brings his free hand up and grabs your tit, rolling his thumb over your hardening nipple. “You’re such a bad girl,” Chanyeol whispered, moving his hand down your body, cupping your head.

“I’m sorry Chanyeol-ssi what did you say?” Chanyeol made an ‘oops’ face and ran his finger along the length of your slit.

“Uh, nothing, look, keep going over those colors, I’ll give you a call in the morning, yah?”

“Okay, I’ll call you in the morning,” The stylist is the one to hang up the phone and Chanyeol tosses the house phone over onto the couch. Chanyeol bites his lip, looking back toward you. Both his hands circle around your hips, groping your ass, staring deep into your eyes, before striking your left cheek. “That was naughty of you,” You give him a small smile, resting your forehead against his.

“Then punish me.”


Minseok, Suho, Lay

Ksoo, Kai, Sehun

Sleep tight

Summary:  Negan pays a visit to his favorite wife late at night.

Author:  Multireality

Pairing(s): Negan x reader

Word Count: 1190

Warnings: Smut, slight fluff, Negan’s potty mouth, unprotected sex

Author’s Notes: This is my first one-shot so please go easy on me. Send any requests for future imagines and one shots. I write for most fandoms so just message me if you have any questions on what fandoms I write for.

I heard him before I saw him. The tell-tale sound of a zipper echoed in the quiet room, the thud of leather hitting the floor seemed louder in the quiet of the night. It must have been the early hours of the morning, as the sun had long since been forgotten and I turned in for sleep hours ago.

My eyes were open yet I lay stock still, lying in wait for him to make the first move. “Y/N” he whispered, his voice slowly moving towards me. “Negan it’s late”, his soft chuckle filled my ears like music, I loved when he was in this mood – playful and carefree. “I missed my favorite wife”, the sound of his pants hitting the floor signified that he was slowly stripping off his clothes.

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anonymous asked:

"But," she turned around to face him, " I didn't know that babies could have powers."

“Obviously the baby has powers,” Piper whisper-shouted, trying not to startle the baby while also trying to get across to Jason that, hey, hello, their child was currently floating eight feet in the air and just about crawling across the ceiling.

Jason blinked and scratched at his bare chest. Any other time, she’d be hellishly distracted, what with him standing there in the doorway to the dark kitchen all sleep-disheveled, his pajama pants slung low about his hips, his hair mussed from his pillow, his glasses sitting low and crooked on his nose. The whole bed-sexy thing worked for him, but not when, late-night feedings aside, they were kind of having a kid emergency.

“Looks like he does take more after me,” Jason said, in that huh, look at that voice he used when he was trying to keep everybody calm.

Piper took a steadying breath.

He stepped easily past her, brushing his hand across her back, and jumped up, hovering, to pluck their child from the ceiling. He landed gracefully and stepped into her space, holding their son between them.

Piper sighed, brushing her thumb across the baby’s cheek. He giggled. “We’re gonna have to get one of those kid harnesses, aren’t we? It’s gonna be like a baby balloon. ‘Hi, Piper, how are you today? Oh, what’s that you have there?’ ‘Oh, hi, Mr. Jacobsen. Just taking my baby for a quick fly around the neighborhood.’”

With a quiet laugh, Jason leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Picture Perfect (Photographer AU Luhan)

Originally posted by fyeahluhan

Type: Fluff Angst


There were the ups and downs of being married a photographer. Bring a muse was nice, but having sometimes completely naked or seductive models around wasn’t your cup of tea. Not that Luhan would ever cheat on you, he was very strong on the relationship you had. Its the girls that flirted with him that bugged you. They had just about everything and they still went after your husband. They had a talent of doing it subtly as well.

Luhan was a passionate man, being a father of two. A biological son named Wei and then a sweet little girl you adopted a few months ago named Meilin who was actually older than your son by a few years. Their pictures covered the walls of his studio and the models would comment about how they wished they could have a man like him be the father of their children. It irked you but you kept yourself as calm as you could.

~

“I can’t believe your son doesn’t look completely like you” one of the models said to Luhan as he made a sound and looked up from his camera. “Your son looks like your wife more. Its sad” she said as Luhan gave her a confused look. “Why’s that? Wei is a great looking boy” Luhan said back. “He would have been better looking if he looked more like you” she said as he scoffed. “My wife is gorgeous thank you” he said as he sent her a glare. “Why don’t you go get a touch up or a coffee” he said with a slightly annoyed tone. “Aw but I like hanging out with you when you look over my pictures” she said as she walked over to him with a flirty smile.

“Well I’m done looking at your pictures” he said as her face dropped “why?” she said. “You insult my wife and my son. Do you think that’s okay?” he asks as she cowers back. “My children and wife mean everything to me and I don’t like your words so I’m kindly asking you to go before I yell” he said as calmly as he could. She nodded ashamed before rushing out of his studio.

Luhan sat his camera down on his desk as he moved his mouse and his monitor light up. He smiled at the picture of you, him, and the kids. It was a dorky picture he took with the camera. One he promised he deleted because you hated how you looked but he found it perfect. He picked up his phone and unlocked it before he called you.

“Hey” he said calmly as he sat back in his chair. “How did you know it was nap time?” you ask as he could feel your lovely smile through the phone. “Daddy’s intuition” he said. “Well what’s up daddy?” you ask as your voice grew quiter. “I missed your voice. A model made some comments. That I just couldn’t stand” he said as you made a sound “do you want to talk about it?” you asked. He smiled “no baby. I want you to tell me about the kids and what you have planned” he said as you sigh lightly. “Meilin really wants Wei to walk like she was holding his hands and everything” you state. He chuckles “she wants to see brother walk. Daddy wants to see Wei walk too” he said as you laugh lightly. “She’s trying so hard to be a good sister” “she is a good sister” Luhan corrects as you make another sound “sorry sorry you’re right” you say.

After just minutes of talking to you. He was happy again. “Why don’t we go on a family date then?” he asks “where its a bit chilly for the park” you tell him. “We’ll get food and go to a kid movie” he offers “that sounds nice” you tell him. He sighs “I have photos to touch up but I rather listen to you” he whines. “My voice is very distracting isn’t it?” you joke “the good kind though” you were told as he sighs again. “I’ll let you go alright work hard” you say “I will” he said as he leans against his desk. “Love you” he says “love you too” you say back making a kissy sound through the phone before the call disconnected.

BTS Reaction on Their Wedding Day

Jin:

Waking up, he’d be the happiest man ever. Well, even though he still acts like a child. He would run around to the other members dancing happily.

“I get to marry Y/N today!” He would laugh his window wiper laugh as he thought about becoming a family with you. The whole room would light up because of his happiness. Once he saw you in your wedding dress, his mouth would drop.

“She gets to be mine. I can’t believe it.”

“Yes Jin.”

“Let’s get through these vows so we can go eat!”

Originally posted by charrytommoto

Suga:

He would be more on the down low about it. Instead of spreading his happiness with the other members, he would make the day all about you.

“Would you like something to eat?”

“I need to fit in my wedding dress Suga.”

“Oh come on…the wedding is hours away!”

After a lot of convincing, he would bring you a snack and lay with you until the time came. He would be waiting at the end of the aisle anxiously, smiling brightly seeing you stroll in with your pearl white dress and veil. All his butterflies would go away as he realized who he was going to spend the rest of his life with.

Originally posted by nevermindmyg

J-Hope:

Oh boy. Where does this even start? J-Hope would be practically jumping off the walls just seconds after getting out of bed. He’d hug you and kiss you and would start talking about honeymoon plans.

“Maybe Hawaii, or Costa Rica. Ooh! Or-”

“Hoseok.”

“How about Paris? City of Love.”

“Hoseok.”

After ranting on and on he’d finally take a breath and look at you, waiting for your opinion. You grinned and mumbled, “Hawaii isn’t a bad idea.”

When the wedding bells rang, J-Hope screamed excitedly as you walked down the aisle, scaring half the crowd there. He apologized but stopped halfway as you stood in front of him.

“Beautiful. How did I get to be so lucky?”

Originally posted by yoongis--babygirl

Rap Monster:

“Hello baby.”

Yes, that would be how he’d wake you on the morning of your wedding. He would stare at you in a daze, imagining how great the wedding was going to be. You waved in his face.

“Hello? Earth to Rap Monster?”

He finally snapped back to reality, grinning shyly. “I’m so excited for our wedding baby. I can’t wait to finally be married to you.”

As the wedding rolled in, he would be so nervous that he’d probably knock something off the table, causing it to shatter into hundreds of pieces. He awkwardly picked it up as the guests stared at him. You found yourself laughing, already knowing what was going to happen when you were married.

“I’m so s-sorry. I am so nervous.” He would wipe his hands off and act like nothing happened, concentrating on only the wedding for the next few hours.

Originally posted by rapnamu

Jimin:

He would be extremely happy on your wedding day. He’d be even more shy than usual, smiling like crazy every time he saw you. Getting fitted in his suit almost made him cry as the realization that soon he was going to be a husband hit him.

“Y/N, you look gorgeous,” he murmured as you walked in.

“I’m not even in my dress yet.”

“Yes, but your hair and makeup…you look so…”

“Jimin.”

“I love you. I can’t wait to be your husband.”

The wedding started and Jimin was nearly hopping from foot to foot as he waited to see you walk down the aisle. As the music began and you stepped down the aisle, his jaw dropped. He was speechless.

Originally posted by jikookdetails

V:

This goofy kid wouldn’t be able to stand the waiting. He’d ask when the wedding was every minute, irritating the crap out of you.

“It’s still 2 hours away.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

V would be clingy the whole night, holding onto you anytime he had the chance, even when you spoke with your and his parents. Once back from the wedding, you said, “Baby, why did you hang on to me all night?”

“I just wanted to know what it was like spending all my time with you.”

“And?”

“And I really enjoyed it.”

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Jungkook:

He would want you to be extremely happy on your wedding day, putting your happiness before his.

“Do you want me to get you something? Want a drink?”

“No Jungkook, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Now let’s go to the wedding.”

Your wedding was smaller and more family based so there wasn’t a huge crowd of people. As you walked out in your wedding dress, Jungkook was tapping his leg anxiously. His eyes moved up and down over your figure.

“Y-you’re so…”

“So what?”

“Perfect.” He would know right then that he made the right decision proposing to you because you made him the happiest man on Earth.

Originally posted by nochujungkookie