he's ketchup

stop pretending that sirius black isn’t a food snob and that it Kills him that lily puts ketchup on practically everything

The day Nicky leaves for Germany, he turns back thrice on his way to the check in.

The first time, it’s to throw one last dirty (gay) joke because he’s Nicky Hemmick and that’s how he’s going to leave, that how he’ll be remembered, that’s he’ll go down in histo- 

“You’re not fucking dying, Nicky!”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

The second time he turns, it’s to stick his tongue out at Andrew because he knows Neil took his knives away so he didn’t get arrested by airport security when Nicky unavoidably did something annoying and/or stupid.

The third time he turns, he’s already given his passport to the lady at the office, and he looks back as she makes the customary check ups. Andrew is glaring at Aaron, Neil is staring at Andrew like he’s the best thing in the fucking world, and Aaron is glaring back at Andrew, Katelyn is the only one who notices Nicky.

She smiles, sweet, and Nicky mouths “Keep them in check”. She brings a hand to her mouth not to laugh out loud.

Nicky cries a bit on the airplane. He doesn’t want to because this is the life he chose, the moment he’s been waiting for for years and he’s going to be with Erik now which means no more calls planned around time-zones, no more sending presents one month early so they make it in time, no more craving for a touch that’s nine thousands miles away. 

Except that it’s not true, is it? Nicky chose Germany when he didn’t have anything to stay for in the USA and now he does; Nicky’s been dreading this moment for years because what if the twins stop talking to each others, what if they lose all contacts and stop being there in case of need, what if they fight one too many times and decide it’s not worth keeping the pretense up?; and the calls, the nightmarish queues at the post office, the hugs he can’t share and the fist-bumps he can’t get, they’re just coming from the other way.

Nicky’s family has stopped being in one place alone. It’s split like he’s never wanted it to be.

Fuck it, he should have paid the overprice and bought the biggest suitcase ever and stuffed both the twins in there. Neil and Katelyn would have followed, no doubt.

At the airport, Erik has Kleenex in both his pockets. Nicky sags against his chest and says he’s sorry, but Erik tells him he always cries at airports too and that makes him giggle. There’s Häagen Dazs ice-cream at home, and Erik rounded all Nicky’s favorite movies and stole every blanket of the house. They turn themselves into a single human burrito and watch movies while eating ice-cream on the couch until four in the morning, then they go upstairs and Erik kisses every inch of Nicky’s skin and sex has always been good but this is the best.

They wake up the next day at noon. They shower together and Nicky sneaks a fast blow-job in before Erik can object (he was so not going to). They have some kind of brunch in the kitchen Nicky’s been banned from after he tried to put ketchup on pasta one too many times and they eat at the table as they make a list of things they need for the house.

Another pair of slippers, another mug, more sheets, bakery supplies, more spices because black pepper is not enough, condoms, vegetables, some fruit maybe, junk-food definitely, a new pillow because the current one is too flat, an hot-water bag, those little umbrellas they put on drinks and-

They laugh and they kiss and it’s nice.

By the time they’re done washing the kitchen, it’s half past two in the afternoon. It means it’s half-past seven in the morning in the USA and that early practice finished thirty minutes ago and the guys are (hopefully) taking a shower.

Nicky’s Skype makes his phone chirp and Erik grins like he doesn’t care that Nicky jumps to catch it when the surprise makes him almost drop it. He probably doesn’t.

It’s a picture from Aaron, though his face is only in a quarter in the picture. The rest of the photo is taken up by Neil and Jack getting at each others’ throats and Andrew’s Mean Glare promising death for the younger fox.

The caption says: “If he kills Jack, you better come back and bail him out because I’m out of fucks to give for the day.

Nicky laughs.

marino-kun  asked:

Do you take prompt? What about Stiles having a secret crush on Derek but when saw him, taking care Scott's son, he fell in love.

I’m not much of a kid fic person, so this took me a while, but I tried. Hopefully it’s kind of what you were angling for!

*

“Do you think I’m ready for fatherhood?” Stiles asks, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. He’s not freaking out about this. He’s not.

Boyd says flatly, “Stilinski, you’re twenty-one years old. You’re supposed to know how to use a condom by now.“

Stiles’ hand spasms and he accidentally squirts a huge glob of ketchup on his mound of curly fries. Fuck. He has the ideal ketchup-to-curly-fry ratio down to a science, and this is not it. “No, absolutely not what I meant. It’s just. Did you know Derek had a kid?”

Boyd meditatively takes a bite of his burger. “No. But the nice thing about Derek is that he doesn’t go in for personal talk.”

Stiles shoots him a weird look. Of course Boyd would think that was nice. Stiles, though, has been trying to break down Derek’s walls even just a little bit for months now—sitting with him in class, sharing his notes, studying with him in the library and getting late-night waffles together afterwards, little by little pulling Derek out of his shell. He’d thought he was getting somewhere, but obviously not, not if Derek failed to mention this kid even existed.

Which he does. Stiles knows, because he can see him right now, over by Prof. Martin’s pool. Apparently his name is Jamie.

Keep reading

Yakov Always Hated Father's Day

Yakov always hated Father’s Day, and he thought he always would…

He never had much of a father to speak of, and the man that held that title was not worthy of a card or kind words, but he was forced to grin and bear it every year. The card, the family dinner, the hallow words…he had to swallow it all until the day he moved out. He was finally free, at least until he got older.

Then those years haunted him…

Yakov had always wanted children for as long as he could remember, but he was afraid…so terrified that he would turn out like his father. These thoughts plagued him for so long that he never got around to having a child of his own, and the holiday would just be an excuse for guilt and way too many shots of vodka…until Viktor came along.

The boy looked kind of nervous as he held out a card full of colorful scribbles and the juice box Yakov had packed in the boy’s lunch the night before. He went to his office and cried for awhile while he was on the ice, but you could never get him to admit it.

Then there was Georgi, who would always bring him a card and homemade breakfast item. He was unable to stomach the ketchup sandwich he was gifted in the early years, but he loved it anyway.

And Mila, who would always bring him a card and whatever pretty plants she found on her way to the rink, even if they happened to be leaves or spikey weeds.

Yuri with his “old man” cards, that always had something sweet on the inside that no one could see but him, and a note on the bottom that read: “There’s pirozhki on your desk.”

He never hated Father’s Day again…and if you were to search his office you would find a box, stashed in the locked drawer in his desk, that held all his memories. A box that contained cards and dried leaves alike, with a few ketchup packets thrown in just for laughs.

anonymous asked:

RFA reacting to MC having an "accident" in the middle of the night cause Aunt Flo is here./ RFA when It's MC's "time of the month"

Anonymous said:
I already made a request last night but, I realized it’s similar to another one. The severe period pain one? By that I mean, Mc is like groaning in pain on the couch and unable to move from the pain. Btw can it be RFA +V and Saeran. I’m like withering in pain and tbh I feel like this will make me feel better lmao. Also, I like went through nearly your entire profile. Tis amaze.

Anonymous said:
Ohm. This is a weird request but meh. Do you think you could to a reaction from the RFA + V and Saeran to MC having horrible period pains? So bad that it hurts to stand? Cause like, it happens.


So these are actually some of the latest requests, but this just seemed easier to write, so I finished this as soon as I could to get some content out. Still, it’s almost two weeks late despite that. Our inbox is rotting. Imsosorry ivebeenbusy x.x

BUT ANYWAY! I hope this will suffice? It might not be quite what you guys asked, but I tried ^~^

(had also planned to be for @serensama )

–R.I.


MC on Her Time of the Month

Yoosung

  • Text Message Received. “Hey, I can’t come to the beach today, sorry… >_< It’s that time of the month, so I can’t swim…”
  • He’s never had a girlfriend before. He’s completely clueless when you suddenly cancel on the beach date you’d been planning for days! You’d both been so busy, today was the one day you could actually meet up :C
  • -insert sad Yoosung boyfriend-
  • Instead, he decides to visit, anxiously worrying if you were feeling sick. (his mother makes him bring you some chicken noodle soup, lecturing him about how it was only respectful lololol cmon we all know she would)
  • Hm. You didn’t look feverish, and you weren’t coughing or anything… The only weird thing was how you sat in your chair all curled up into a ball. Curious, he decides to ask you about it, “So uhm, MC… why did you cancel today?”
  • Immediately, your cheeks flush slightly. Didn’t he understand from your text…? With a wry smile on your face, you eventually explained, “Weeeell, I’m on my period… And the cramps have been really bad so far. I can hardly stand. I didn’t want to ruin our date by lying down every five minutes in an attempt to tolerate the pain.”
  • The colour drains from his face.
  • “OH MY GOD MC, ARE YOU OKAY?! NO, NEVER MIND, OF COURSE NOT. L-look, you shouldn’t be sitting here with me if it’s that bad, go back to bed right now and I will make you an omelette because you need good nutrition and rest so pleasepleaseplease go lie down,” he babbles, panic filling his features as he desperately pushes you to your room.
  • He ends up cooking in your kitchen while you bundled up in your blankets, trying to fight off the pain somehow.
  • Brings the omelette to your bed so you don’t have to walk around
  • You fail in holding back a big smile as you look at the beach umbrella drawn in ketchup. (Everytime he made you an omelette, he made sure to draw something different)
  • “I-it’s to represent that we should go to the beach when you feel better,” he sheepishly explained, red tinting his cheeks.
  • Your phone suddenly vibrated, indicating a notification came through. You glanced briefly at your phone before WHIPPING YOUR HEAD to re-read the message
  • Seven: lololol I guess he really wants to see you in a bikini!! What a perverted boy  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Zen

  • You’d been lazily cuddling together in the morning upon waking up after a…. good night together. He’s whispering sweet nothings into your ear, running his fingers over your body… down your back… over your butt… then he stops, a flicker of confusion in his eyes.
  • He suddenly breaks his hold on you, sitting up and lifting the blanket off your bodies. Zen’s eyes seem to be peeled to your legs, or something…
  • You watch him in a half-asleep state, what was he doing so early in the morning? You yawn, stretching slightl- !!!
  • A sharp pain shoots through your lower stomach and you hiss as you clutch at it. What the…?
  • As you roll around the bed, you feel a slight wetness on the bedsheets. Oh. Uh-oh.
  • You heave a sigh, closing your eyes as dread overwhelms you. “Pleeease tell me it’s not what I think it is,” you groan, pulling a pillow over your head. “I’m so sorry for ruining the bed, ugh…”
  • Zen’s eyes soften, sympathy flashing in them. “Honey, it’s okay, it happens,” he says, offering a sweet smile. “I’ll take care of it, okay? Do what you need to, and when you’re done, I’ll go get our breakfast. Don’t worry about anything.”
  • He plants a light kiss on your forehead, gazing gently into your eyes.
  • In mere minutes, he removes and replaces the bedsheets, throws them in the laundry, and heads out to buy some food. You wait anxiously on the bed, groaning as your cramps caused continuous, throbbing pain.
  • “Zeeeen,” you whimper, as if it would make him come back faster.  
  • The front door opens, and you can see that Zen has returned with crepes, cake and hot chocolate in hand. He quickly rushes to your side as he hears your whimpering, stroking your hand as he checks to make sure you’re okay.
  • “I’ve heard that chocolate is supposed to help with cramps,” he says unsurely, holding up the hot chocolate. “And I also got some sweets. I know it’s not a proper breakfast, but I know you love these things around this time of the month. So let me spoil you on days like this, babe.”
  • Despite the lightning bolts of pain you were feeling, you managed to smile from your balled up position, weakly squeezing his hand as a sign of acknowledgment. “I love you, Zenny,” you mumble.

Jaehee

  • From the beginning, she had been aware that you got severe period cramps, and prepared numerous remedies and reliefs.
  • Whenever she noticed that it was nearing your time of the month, she would make you drink water with brown sugar dissolved into them, which was supposed to relax your muscles and make your cramps hurt less.
  • But one day, before your period came, you began to cramp up really badly. Unfortunately, you were still at work, so you had to continue taking orders and serving the customers despite the pain. You couldn’t let Jaehee down, after all.
  • But after doing it for a while, you were sweating profusely, your mouth watering with excess saliva. Your cheeks were flushed, and your legs were beginning to give out.
  • From behind the counter, Jaehee noticed your odd state, and realized immediately what was going on. She dashes out to guide you into the employee room, bringing you a mug of chamomile tea and chocolate cake.
  • “MC, you should’ve told me earlier if you weren’t feeling well!” she scolds you, glaring at you. But her eyes are soft with worry, although she was trying to express her anger.
  • You smile weakly, having no excuse to offer.
  • Her worry morphs into guilt. “I should have given you the day off… I knew that your time of the month was coming soon, I shouldn’t have made you work. I’m really sorry, MC.” She runs a hand through her hair in frustration, ashamed in herself.
  • “But you take such good care of me, I only want to repay you…” you argue softly, furrowing your eyebrows.
  • Your words bring a small smile to her face. “Silly. You’re the one who takes care of me. You’re always considering my feelings, even when I don’t. I can only be so happy thanks to you.”
  • Another shot of pain makes you wince, and you bring your knees to your chest, in an attempt to ease the pain. “Nng… thanks, Jaehee, but I just need to… rest for now,” you managed to say. “Go back to the counter… customers are waiting.”
  • She flicks your forehead lightly. “Silly. I’m going to stay with you of course. I’ll just close the shop. It’s one of the perks of being the owner. Let me take advantage of it, okay?”
  • And so, you end up going home, cuddling together on the bed as you suffered through your monthly hell. At least you had an angel beside you.

Jumin

  • The two of you usually spent your nights together, but you suddenly asked to stay in a separate room one night. A bit disheartened, Jumin inquired you as to why you requested this, and you sighed, begrudgingly explaining what Mother Nature made you go through.
  • “Is that why you couldn’t sleep last night?” he frowned, his thumb gently stroking your cheek.
  • Your head shot up in surprise. “You knew?”
  • “I know everything, my love. You were groaning, tossing and turning the entire night… I couldn’t even hug you properly.”
  • “It’s not my fault it hurts so much!” you protest.
  • “I also had the maids wash the bedsheets, after noticing it had been dirtied. I hope you don’t mind.”
  • Erk, that was embarrassing. It was only the maids, but you suddenly felt like the whole world knew you were bleeding out of your vagina now. Seriously, Jumin could’ve kept quiet about that part. Now you felt mildly uncomfortable.
  • Jumin continued, “It’s okay. Get some rest, okay? You probably didn’t sleep a wink last night. I have a meeting today, but I’ll try to come home as soon as I can. I hope Elizabeth 3rd will suffice as company til then… Is there anything you would like me to bring back while I’m out?”
  • “Not really…” you mutter, cheeks still red.
  • Jumin raised an eyebrow, dubious.
  • “Okay, fine. Yeah, can I get some pizza? That one we had last time, where the crust was perfectly crispy and topped with that fancy stuff you ordered.”
  • He chuckles, kissing your forehead softly. “I knew you’d give in. And don’t worry so much about it being your time of the month. This is nothing to be embarrassed about, compared to your loud screams at night…”
  • SMACK!

Seven/Saeyoung

  • The moment he heard your first whimpers he KNOCKED DOWN YOUR DOOR
  • “Honey?! What’s wrong!!” he panicked, throwing the covers off your bed to inspect you
  • You were curled up, rocking gently side-to-side as you quietly cried, the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes
  • “Saeyoungggg… Mother Nature’s killing me again,” you sniffled, trying to deal with the pain
  • “W-w-what do I do?” he stammered, cheeks flushing as he was unfamiliar with women’s monthly pains. He wanted to help, but he really had no idea.
  • But you couldn’t even answer, groaning as the next wave of pain hit you
  • “I-it’s okay, MC, I’ll call for help immediately! Defender of Justice, 707, off to the rescue!!” he declared, suddenly dashing out your room
  • Wait what?
  • “Come baaack,” you called out, feeling slightly disappointed. Had he just run out on you? What was he even trying to do? You just wanted some Saeyoung cuddles right now…
  • From the open door, you could hear Saeyoung talking vividly on the phone, “Give up the sacrifice!! NOW, Jumin Han, or I will hack into your company right now!”
  • Sacrifice? What sacrifice?
  • “I will steal Elly—no, listen to me, I will call her Elly however I please!”
  • Did he already forget about you? You grumbled, rolling over to hug your blankets.
  • “Good, I’m glad we cleared this up! 5 minutes, Mr. Han, I’m giving you 5 minutes to send her over.”
  • Fuck, was he trying to get Elizabeth the 3rd over? Seriously, that wouldn’t really help with your period pains very much. At all. You didn’t hate her, per say, but you were fucking dying in here.
  • You mentally counted down 5 minutes, when the doorbell suddenly rang, and you could hear Saeyoung’s footsteps as he practically flew to the door.
  • “I’m so glad you’re here! Thank youuuu!!” You could hear him exclaim.
  • “MC?” a soft, feminine voice called out to you from the doorway.
  • Your eyes snapped open, “Jaehee?! I thought you were Elizabeth the 3rd!”
  • Her eyes twinkled with amusement. “Now, why would you think that? I wasn’t aware that spending so much time cat-sitting had resulted into my transformation into a cat.”
  • “N-no.. never mind.” It was always hard to explain Saeyoung’s antics. “Why are you here?”
  • “Seven called Mr. Han to demand that I came to help. I’m very glad to (get away from Jumin) be of help, MC. I brought some painkillers, some hot soup and a few bags of tea for you to drink over the next few days. It should help somehow,” Jaehee explained, holding up a small plastic bag that you hadn’t noticed before.
  • From behind her, you noticed Saeyoung peeking nervously from the doorway, his eyes teared up as he stared at your weakened form.
  • “Thanks, Jaehee. And Saeyoung, you can come in, you know…” you said.
  • “B-but!! I’m a pure girl, darling, what if I get the curse of periods too?!” Saeyoung whined, shaking his head furiously.
  • ….That’s what he was worried about?
  • “Seven… Periods are not contagious,” Jaehee deadpanned.

V

  • He was always prepared when it was your time of the month—even more than you were! He couldn’t help it. For the majority of his relationship with Rika, he’d been doting on her, doing anything and everything he could for her. Old habits die hard.
  • “MC, maybe you shouldn’t be wearing white underwear… it’s almost your time of the month, isn’t it?” he called out as he was cooking breakfast, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.
  • “W-wha?” you yawned. You were only wearing one of his shirts and some panties, but then you realized the date. “Oh, you’re right!”
  • By the time you went to change, you’d already seen the faintest taint of pink on your underwear. Fuck. How many have you ruined by now? …Too many to count.
  • It took a couple hours before the pain started to kick in.
  • Considering this was a reoccurring pattern, V already knew what to do and when to do it.
  • “MC, honey, I prepared a hot bath for you… Would you like to be alone, or shall I join you?” he asked, checking in on you.
  • “Nng… I can’t really walk right now, sorry,” you replied, hugging a heating pouch to your lower stomach.
  • He chuckled in return, “Then I’ll carry you there. Perhaps I should strip you, too?” He winked jokingly.
  • If this had been a normal day, you would’ve taken the chance to jump at him (because V’s hot and a sweetheart) but no, your cramps were killing you today. So no. No sinning today, MC.
  • He fed you chocolate as you sunk into your bath, letting the heat relax your muscles, significantly easing your cramps. He helped to wrap you in a towel, making sure you were warm.
  • By the time you went to bed, the cramps had more or less gone away for the night, and you happily snuggled into his chest, feeling comfortable, relaxed and loved.

Saeran

  • When he finished his morning shower, he found you groaning in pain on the bed, hugging a pillow tightly.
  • He snickered, “Was I too hard on you last night? I didn’t realize it was that bad…”
  • You shook your head, correcting him, “I’m on my periodddd…”
  • Immediately, his smile dropped. What the fuck?
  • “What… what is that supposed to mean?” he furrowed his eyebrows cutely, looking at you with pure confusion.
  • “I’m bleeding from my vagina, what else?” you rolled your eyes, deadpanning.
  • “Erm. Oh,” he stated in surprise. “Does… does ice cream help?”
  • “Ice cream doesn’t solve everything, Saeran…”
  • He frowned, not knowing what to do. Instead, he crawled into bed next to you. “Well, uhm, I don’t really know what to do… but, whenever I’m not feeling well, your hugs really help me, so if you don’t mind, I’m just going to cuddle with you… okay?”
  • You flashed a small smile at him, inwardly gushing at how adorable he was. “Of course!”
  • He smiled back with a hint of relief that he was doing something right. “Tell me if you need anything, okay?”
  • “And what if I said I only need you?” you joked.
  • He plants a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’m the one who needs you. Please feel better soon…”

anonymous asked:

A fluffy imagine/headcanon/prompt/idea thingy: on the surface, Horror Sans is attracted to chubby humans because they look well fed. He doesn't mind if they're skinny, but he likes the squishy aspect or it as well as the instinctual appeal. And if his s/o feeds him, he falls in love instantly.

I like it!  And to add to it…

HT!Sans is attracted to chubby humans because they could feed him for several days.  

He, just like HT!Paps, has a thing for fattening up humans.  While his brother shares his food readily, trying to get more meat on their bones because they’re delicious, Sans is a bit greedier with his food.  However, he does tend to like chubbier humans–because of the squish appeal, yes–but also, because he instinctively thinks that if push comes to shove, they’ll make a decent meal for him and his bro.  It’s a difficult mindset to break, especially given his mental instability.   

The only thing that’ll guarantee him falling in love instantly is if his s/o gives/makes him ketchup.  The Underground has been out for years, so as soon as he gets on the Surface, he’s going on a ketchup-binge.  Homemade ketchup would be a god-send… and for that matter, if they can grill up an excellent burger, he’ll be putty in their hands.  

You’ve heard of 110% Jack Zimmermann, now get ready for

0% Jack Zimmermann.

  • There’s a cookout at a neighboring frat house, and the hockey team plus Farmer go to hang out and drink beer. They start playing an impromptu game of volleyball in the yard, and Jack’s on Chowder’s team.
  • Now, Chowder is steeling himself for strategy, Jack’s murder face, and a lot of competitive bullshit.
  • What he gets is Jack chirping Holster, who isn’t even in the yard. The ball goes flying right past Jack’s face and this total meatball just watches it bounce out of bounds.
  • “Ha ha, look at it go.”
  • Chowder kicks Jack off his team because they are losing so bad, it’s actually pretty embarrassing. And Jack’s like, “What? Of course I can play with a Sprite in my hand.”
  • “Jack no.”
  • Also consider:
  • Jack studying for a class that he has zero interest in. His studying for economics looks an awful lot like amateur architecture.
  • “Jack, why is there a popsicle stick Eiffel Tower on the kitchen table? Wait, where did these popsicle sticks even come from?”
  • Jack actually gives negative fucks when it comes to cooking just for himself. His meals don’t even make sense half of the time. Bitty caught him eating a bowl of mac and cheese, tater tots, green peas and ketchup once. He still has nightmares.
  • There’s another cookout on Frat row that the hockey team crashes (but they bring tub juice so they get to stay). Someone set up a badminton net in the yard and Jack somehow gets roped into playing.
  • (Not by Chowder, though, because that’s the kind of lesson you only have to learn once.)
  • Bitty is playing his little Southern heart out, running up and down his side of the makeshift court. He swings at the birdie so hard it actually gets stuck in his racket.
  • Meanwhile, Jack is seeing if he can balance his racket on his chin.
  • And then he tries to see if he can whack the birdie onto the frat house’s roof. Which turns into several people cussing him out and Bitty chases him around for a few minutes with the intent of beating Jack Zimmermann’s ass.
  • (Jack laughs and laughs and maybe he lets Bitty catch him and then he grins up at him—there had been a leaping tackle involved in the take down—and he says “What’re you gonna do with me now, Bittle?” And Bitty is Not Amused, so he pinches Jack’s nipple hard and then he goes help the frat bros get the birdie out of the gutter.)
  • Jack loves history, but only some history. He gives a lengthy presentation on Colonial North America in one of his history classes, and at the end the TA raises her hand. “How did Thomas Jefferson’s contributions shift the course of United States history?”
  • And he just squints at her and goes, “Who the fuck is Thomas Jefferson?”
  • Watching TV with Jack is a gamble. He’s either on the edge of his seat, eyes trained on the screen, ready to permanently silence anyone who dares speak/interrupt his show. Or he talks over the TV, puts it on mute to better hear someone else talk over the TV, and makes fun of the various American accents on the show.
  • (Jack’s southern accent is so bad and he knows it, and he makes it so much worse when Bitty is around to hear it. It’s all fun and games until a French Canadian on TV has something to say, and then Jack’s all like “Wtf, Bitty? I thought we were friends!?” Bitty is really glad he sprung for throw pillows in the Haus, because otherwise he would end up concussing his captain.)
  • Jack took one semester of Spanish, and he remembers a surprising amount of it, considering he went to class a total of six times and did virtually none of the work. His Spanish is terrible, but he knows numbers, colors, seasons and “No bueno.” For some time, lots of things were “no bueno.”
  • But then Jack stumbled across ASL via YouTube and he gets super into it. By the end of the week he knows about as much ASL as he does Spanish. By the end of the month he can sign the most beautiful profanity and dad jokes. By the end of the school year it’s started rubbing off on the rest of the team.
  • (Their butchered ASL is somehow worse than Jack’s Spanish, and he would be more annoyed if it weren’t hilarious. For some time Ransom and Holster take to pointing at good things and then making the sign for “candy.” Sriracha? Candy. Apple pie? Candy. The mysterious orange cat that wanders along Frat Row? Candy. Chowder’s stuffed shark? Candy. The latest episode of Breaking Bad? Candy. Pretty soon everyone starts using the candy sign as a gesture of approval. One Sunday Jack walks down to the kitchen to find Bitty making those amazing sausage balls, with real maple syrup and grated sharp cheddar. Jack touches his shoulder so that Bitty’s looking at him and then he presses a finger to his jaw, candy, and points to Bitty so there’s no misunderstanding. Bitty blushes clear to the roots of his hair, even when he says, “Y’all are so weird.”)
  • This takes us to a new friend. Ransom and Holster and Jack and Chowder are chilling in the dining hall, and Ransom and Holster are using their terrible pidgin ASL (half the signs are made up and the rest don’t matter) which catches the eye of one Amy Willashire, who is HOH and still pretty new to Samwell.
  • Amy marches her happy ass up to the table and starts signing away, a mile a minute, the biggest grin on her face because sometimes it feels like she’s the only HOH student on campus. That grin slowly fades as Ransom and Holster stare at her like she’s grown a second head. (They’re actually panicking, because they understand about one word in ten and how are they going to tell her that?)
  • And then Jack perks up and starts signing back, so Amy is signing to him. He has to tell her twice to slow tf down, but then she sits with them and by the time the hockey crew have to go to class she’s chirping Jack for his ASL accent. (Some of his signs come out backwards, and he’ll swap hands halfway through a thought instead of using his dominant hand for most of the work. Jack flips her off with a laugh, which is a sign everyone can get right.)
  • So Jack and Amy are ASL buddies. Amy is super stoked that most of the hockey team knows at least some of the language, which means she can tell them something in a pinch. So the team learns even more ASL and Amy learns about hockey, and things are golden.
  • Until Amy invites Jack and Dex to a pool party. Everyone there is at least one beer in, and they’re playing in the pool, and someone mentions water chicken. Amy wants to play, so as a matter of course she clambers onto Jack’s shoulders.
  • From her vantage point, she can’t tell what Jack’s saying but she can feel him giggling like a bastard as they wipe out literally every time, to the point where everyone else is playing pool chicken and she is trying to splash Jack into next week. He’s splashing back. It’s a whole thing.
  • (They find Dex in the basement with a few of the stoners and a lingering smell of pot. Dex has finally found his chill.)
  • That is what 0% Jack Zimmermann looks like.

i wanted to say a few words about that moment when jonas said to even “you’re overreacting, he doesn’t give a fuck about ketchup”. he already felt guilty when mahdi told him to chill. he felt that he was too persistent and probably annoying, and after jonas said this it made him feel guilty even more, although mahdi and jonas didn’t mean that they just wanted him to relax and not to worry about it. even felt that he should explain why he is like this. so how else he should act, he loves isak to the moon and back, and he wanted to show it and to say “thank you for accepting me as i am”. and you can see how he was nervous while he was writing his answer, like he had a lump in the throat. “let me overreact. you should’ve known what he has to keep up with for the rest of the 363 days of the year.” this unpleasant feeling that he is a burden, which he knows to well, hit him in this moment.

“he’s way too good for me” yes he have shared his feelings and emotions with their friends, started to read that he wrote and was thinking how it looks like and that probably he shouldn’t have done this, because it’s stupid and they don’t have to know it. but i don’t think it was matter to him, even probably was reading again his answer in that moment and thinking that he doesn’t deserve isak at all.