he's ketchup

anonymous asked:

RFA reacting to MC having an "accident" in the middle of the night cause Aunt Flo is here./ RFA when It's MC's "time of the month"

Anonymous said:
I already made a request last night but, I realized it’s similar to another one. The severe period pain one? By that I mean, Mc is like groaning in pain on the couch and unable to move from the pain. Btw can it be RFA +V and Saeran. I’m like withering in pain and tbh I feel like this will make me feel better lmao. Also, I like went through nearly your entire profile. Tis amaze.

Anonymous said:
Ohm. This is a weird request but meh. Do you think you could to a reaction from the RFA + V and Saeran to MC having horrible period pains? So bad that it hurts to stand? Cause like, it happens.


So these are actually some of the latest requests, but this just seemed easier to write, so I finished this as soon as I could to get some content out. Still, it’s almost two weeks late despite that. Our inbox is rotting. Imsosorry ivebeenbusy x.x

BUT ANYWAY! I hope this will suffice? It might not be quite what you guys asked, but I tried ^~^

(had also planned to be for @serensama )

–R.I.


MC on Her Time of the Month

Yoosung

  • Text Message Received. “Hey, I can’t come to the beach today, sorry… >_< It’s that time of the month, so I can’t swim…”
  • He’s never had a girlfriend before. He’s completely clueless when you suddenly cancel on the beach date you’d been planning for days! You’d both been so busy, today was the one day you could actually meet up :C
  • -insert sad Yoosung boyfriend-
  • Instead, he decides to visit, anxiously worrying if you were feeling sick. (his mother makes him bring you some chicken noodle soup, lecturing him about how it was only respectful lololol cmon we all know she would)
  • Hm. You didn’t look feverish, and you weren’t coughing or anything… The only weird thing was how you sat in your chair all curled up into a ball. Curious, he decides to ask you about it, “So uhm, MC… why did you cancel today?”
  • Immediately, your cheeks flush slightly. Didn’t he understand from your text…? With a wry smile on your face, you eventually explained, “Weeeell, I’m on my period… And the cramps have been really bad so far. I can hardly stand. I didn’t want to ruin our date by lying down every five minutes in an attempt to tolerate the pain.”
  • The colour drains from his face.
  • “OH MY GOD MC, ARE YOU OKAY?! NO, NEVER MIND, OF COURSE NOT. L-look, you shouldn’t be sitting here with me if it’s that bad, go back to bed right now and I will make you an omelette because you need good nutrition and rest so pleasepleaseplease go lie down,” he babbles, panic filling his features as he desperately pushes you to your room.
  • He ends up cooking in your kitchen while you bundled up in your blankets, trying to fight off the pain somehow.
  • Brings the omelette to your bed so you don’t have to walk around
  • You fail in holding back a big smile as you look at the beach umbrella drawn in ketchup. (Everytime he made you an omelette, he made sure to draw something different)
  • “I-it’s to represent that we should go to the beach when you feel better,” he sheepishly explained, red tinting his cheeks.
  • Your phone suddenly vibrated, indicating a notification came through. You glanced briefly at your phone before WHIPPING YOUR HEAD to re-read the message
  • Seven: lololol I guess he really wants to see you in a bikini!! What a perverted boy  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Zen

  • You’d been lazily cuddling together in the morning upon waking up after a…. good night together. He’s whispering sweet nothings into your ear, running his fingers over your body… down your back… over your butt… then he stops, a flicker of confusion in his eyes.
  • He suddenly breaks his hold on you, sitting up and lifting the blanket off your bodies. Zen’s eyes seem to be peeled to your legs, or something…
  • You watch him in a half-asleep state, what was he doing so early in the morning? You yawn, stretching slightl- !!!
  • A sharp pain shoots through your lower stomach and you hiss as you clutch at it. What the…?
  • As you roll around the bed, you feel a slight wetness on the bedsheets. Oh. Uh-oh.
  • You heave a sigh, closing your eyes as dread overwhelms you. “Pleeease tell me it’s not what I think it is,” you groan, pulling a pillow over your head. “I’m so sorry for ruining the bed, ugh…”
  • Zen’s eyes soften, sympathy flashing in them. “Honey, it’s okay, it happens,” he says, offering a sweet smile. “I’ll take care of it, okay? Do what you need to, and when you’re done, I’ll go get our breakfast. Don’t worry about anything.”
  • He plants a light kiss on your forehead, gazing gently into your eyes.
  • In mere minutes, he removes and replaces the bedsheets, throws them in the laundry, and heads out to buy some food. You wait anxiously on the bed, groaning as your cramps caused continuous, throbbing pain.
  • “Zeeeen,” you whimper, as if it would make him come back faster.  
  • The front door opens, and you can see that Zen has returned with crepes, cake and hot chocolate in hand. He quickly rushes to your side as he hears your whimpering, stroking your hand as he checks to make sure you’re okay.
  • “I’ve heard that chocolate is supposed to help with cramps,” he says unsurely, holding up the hot chocolate. “And I also got some sweets. I know it’s not a proper breakfast, but I know you love these things around this time of the month. So let me spoil you on days like this, babe.”
  • Despite the lightning bolts of pain you were feeling, you managed to smile from your balled up position, weakly squeezing his hand as a sign of acknowledgment. “I love you, Zenny,” you mumble.

Jaehee

  • From the beginning, she had been aware that you got severe period cramps, and prepared numerous remedies and reliefs.
  • Whenever she noticed that it was nearing your time of the month, she would make you drink water with brown sugar dissolved into them, which was supposed to relax your muscles and make your cramps hurt less.
  • But one day, before your period came, you began to cramp up really badly. Unfortunately, you were still at work, so you had to continue taking orders and serving the customers despite the pain. You couldn’t let Jaehee down, after all.
  • But after doing it for a while, you were sweating profusely, your mouth watering with excess saliva. Your cheeks were flushed, and your legs were beginning to give out.
  • From behind the counter, Jaehee noticed your odd state, and realized immediately what was going on. She dashes out to guide you into the employee room, bringing you a mug of chamomile tea and chocolate cake.
  • “MC, you should’ve told me earlier if you weren’t feeling well!” she scolds you, glaring at you. But her eyes are soft with worry, although she was trying to express her anger.
  • You smile weakly, having no excuse to offer.
  • Her worry morphs into guilt. “I should have given you the day off… I knew that your time of the month was coming soon, I shouldn’t have made you work. I’m really sorry, MC.” She runs a hand through her hair in frustration, ashamed in herself.
  • “But you take such good care of me, I only want to repay you…” you argue softly, furrowing your eyebrows.
  • Your words bring a small smile to her face. “Silly. You’re the one who takes care of me. You’re always considering my feelings, even when I don’t. I can only be so happy thanks to you.”
  • Another shot of pain makes you wince, and you bring your knees to your chest, in an attempt to ease the pain. “Nng… thanks, Jaehee, but I just need to… rest for now,” you managed to say. “Go back to the counter… customers are waiting.”
  • She flicks your forehead lightly. “Silly. I’m going to stay with you of course. I’ll just close the shop. It’s one of the perks of being the owner. Let me take advantage of it, okay?”
  • And so, you end up going home, cuddling together on the bed as you suffered through your monthly hell. At least you had an angel beside you.

Jumin

  • The two of you usually spent your nights together, but you suddenly asked to stay in a separate room one night. A bit disheartened, Jumin inquired you as to why you requested this, and you sighed, begrudgingly explaining what Mother Nature made you go through.
  • “Is that why you couldn’t sleep last night?” he frowned, his thumb gently stroking your cheek.
  • Your head shot up in surprise. “You knew?”
  • “I know everything, my love. You were groaning, tossing and turning the entire night… I couldn’t even hug you properly.”
  • “It’s not my fault it hurts so much!” you protest.
  • “I also had the maids wash the bedsheets, after noticing it had been dirtied. I hope you don’t mind.”
  • Erk, that was embarrassing. It was only the maids, but you suddenly felt like the whole world knew you were bleeding out of your vagina now. Seriously, Jumin could’ve kept quiet about that part. Now you felt mildly uncomfortable.
  • Jumin continued, “It’s okay. Get some rest, okay? You probably didn’t sleep a wink last night. I have a meeting today, but I’ll try to come home as soon as I can. I hope Elizabeth 3rd will suffice as company til then… Is there anything you would like me to bring back while I’m out?”
  • “Not really…” you mutter, cheeks still red.
  • Jumin raised an eyebrow, dubious.
  • “Okay, fine. Yeah, can I get some pizza? That one we had last time, where the crust was perfectly crispy and topped with that fancy stuff you ordered.”
  • He chuckles, kissing your forehead softly. “I knew you’d give in. And don’t worry so much about it being your time of the month. This is nothing to be embarrassed about, compared to your loud screams at night…”
  • SMACK!

Seven/Saeyoung

  • The moment he heard your first whimpers he KNOCKED DOWN YOUR DOOR
  • “Honey?! What’s wrong!!” he panicked, throwing the covers off your bed to inspect you
  • You were curled up, rocking gently side-to-side as you quietly cried, the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes
  • “Saeyoungggg… Mother Nature’s killing me again,” you sniffled, trying to deal with the pain
  • “W-w-what do I do?” he stammered, cheeks flushing as he was unfamiliar with women’s monthly pains. He wanted to help, but he really had no idea.
  • But you couldn’t even answer, groaning as the next wave of pain hit you
  • “I-it’s okay, MC, I’ll call for help immediately! Defender of Justice, 707, off to the rescue!!” he declared, suddenly dashing out your room
  • Wait what?
  • “Come baaack,” you called out, feeling slightly disappointed. Had he just run out on you? What was he even trying to do? You just wanted some Saeyoung cuddles right now…
  • From the open door, you could hear Saeyoung talking vividly on the phone, “Give up the sacrifice!! NOW, Jumin Han, or I will hack into your company right now!”
  • Sacrifice? What sacrifice?
  • “I will steal Elly—no, listen to me, I will call her Elly however I please!”
  • Did he already forget about you? You grumbled, rolling over to hug your blankets.
  • “Good, I’m glad we cleared this up! 5 minutes, Mr. Han, I’m giving you 5 minutes to send her over.”
  • Fuck, was he trying to get Elizabeth the 3rd over? Seriously, that wouldn’t really help with your period pains very much. At all. You didn’t hate her, per say, but you were fucking dying in here.
  • You mentally counted down 5 minutes, when the doorbell suddenly rang, and you could hear Saeyoung’s footsteps as he practically flew to the door.
  • “I’m so glad you’re here! Thank youuuu!!” You could hear him exclaim.
  • “MC?” a soft, feminine voice called out to you from the doorway.
  • Your eyes snapped open, “Jaehee?! I thought you were Elizabeth the 3rd!”
  • Her eyes twinkled with amusement. “Now, why would you think that? I wasn’t aware that spending so much time cat-sitting had resulted into my transformation into a cat.”
  • “N-no.. never mind.” It was always hard to explain Saeyoung’s antics. “Why are you here?”
  • “Seven called Mr. Han to demand that I came to help. I’m very glad to (get away from Jumin) be of help, MC. I brought some painkillers, some hot soup and a few bags of tea for you to drink over the next few days. It should help somehow,” Jaehee explained, holding up a small plastic bag that you hadn’t noticed before.
  • From behind her, you noticed Saeyoung peeking nervously from the doorway, his eyes teared up as he stared at your weakened form.
  • “Thanks, Jaehee. And Saeyoung, you can come in, you know…” you said.
  • “B-but!! I’m a pure girl, darling, what if I get the curse of periods too?!” Saeyoung whined, shaking his head furiously.
  • ….That’s what he was worried about?
  • “Seven… Periods are not contagious,” Jaehee deadpanned.

V

  • He was always prepared when it was your time of the month—even more than you were! He couldn’t help it. For the majority of his relationship with Rika, he’d been doting on her, doing anything and everything he could for her. Old habits die hard.
  • “MC, maybe you shouldn’t be wearing white underwear… it’s almost your time of the month, isn’t it?” he called out as he was cooking breakfast, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.
  • “W-wha?” you yawned. You were only wearing one of his shirts and some panties, but then you realized the date. “Oh, you’re right!”
  • By the time you went to change, you’d already seen the faintest taint of pink on your underwear. Fuck. How many have you ruined by now? …Too many to count.
  • It took a couple hours before the pain started to kick in.
  • Considering this was a reoccurring pattern, V already knew what to do and when to do it.
  • “MC, honey, I prepared a hot bath for you… Would you like to be alone, or shall I join you?” he asked, checking in on you.
  • “Nng… I can’t really walk right now, sorry,” you replied, hugging a heating pouch to your lower stomach.
  • He chuckled in return, “Then I’ll carry you there. Perhaps I should strip you, too?” He winked jokingly.
  • If this had been a normal day, you would’ve taken the chance to jump at him (because V’s hot and a sweetheart) but no, your cramps were killing you today. So no. No sinning today, MC.
  • He fed you chocolate as you sunk into your bath, letting the heat relax your muscles, significantly easing your cramps. He helped to wrap you in a towel, making sure you were warm.
  • By the time you went to bed, the cramps had more or less gone away for the night, and you happily snuggled into his chest, feeling comfortable, relaxed and loved.

Saeran

  • When he finished his morning shower, he found you groaning in pain on the bed, hugging a pillow tightly.
  • He snickered, “Was I too hard on you last night? I didn’t realize it was that bad…”
  • You shook your head, correcting him, “I’m on my periodddd…”
  • Immediately, his smile dropped. What the fuck?
  • “What… what is that supposed to mean?” he furrowed his eyebrows cutely, looking at you with pure confusion.
  • “I’m bleeding from my vagina, what else?” you rolled your eyes, deadpanning.
  • “Erm. Oh,” he stated in surprise. “Does… does ice cream help?”
  • “Ice cream doesn’t solve everything, Saeran…”
  • He frowned, not knowing what to do. Instead, he crawled into bed next to you. “Well, uhm, I don’t really know what to do… but, whenever I’m not feeling well, your hugs really help me, so if you don’t mind, I’m just going to cuddle with you… okay?”
  • You flashed a small smile at him, inwardly gushing at how adorable he was. “Of course!”
  • He smiled back with a hint of relief that he was doing something right. “Tell me if you need anything, okay?”
  • “And what if I said I only need you?” you joked.
  • He plants a soft kiss on your forehead. “I’m the one who needs you. Please feel better soon…”

skam characters + food

mahdi: don’t try to cut in line in front of him on waffle day

isak: knows the latin name of every veggie. master of unfreezing freezers. the height of his decorating talent is when he makes ketchup smileys on cheese toasties

eva: uses an unholy amount of liquor every time she cooks

noora: touch her fishcakes and she won’t be kind. always.

even: recreates food from movie classics, insists on making spagetti just to be able to share the last piece with isak and end it with a kiss

vilde: has a spitting problem makes cat-shaped cookies. has a controversial relationship with potatoes

chris: only makes food you can eat with a spoon. queen of juggling eggs

eskild: everything he bakes is dick-shaped. loves to use lavender

sana: considers the best part of cooking when she gets to throw things in the bin from a distance like she would do on a basketball court

magnus: messy, but surprisingly good at cooking not unlike at sex

jonas: the kebab place is the only capitalist establishment he appreciates

yousef: likes to dance while making carrot cakes. always makes a dozen pieces of everything as practice for his family football team

mikael: gets lost in supermarkets, never finds the food section

Some of you want to see more photos so…

mustard! nooooo!



my brother is so cool, isn’t he? (she)

Kawaii

me ketchup myself and i

why did they kill my brother?

my time has come

selfie with bro

drinking with fellsans

enough for now

Thanks @limonthy for taken almost all these photos C:

@zjedz-goffra FellSans cosplayer and @limonthy FemPapyrus cosplayer

marino-kun  asked:

Do you take prompt? What about Stiles having a secret crush on Derek but when saw him, taking care Scott's son, he fell in love.

I’m not much of a kid fic person, so this took me a while, but I tried. Hopefully it’s kind of what you were angling for!

*

“Do you think I’m ready for fatherhood?” Stiles asks, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. He’s not freaking out about this. He’s not.

Boyd says flatly, “Stilinski, you’re twenty-one years old. You’re supposed to know how to use a condom by now.“

Stiles’ hand spasms and he accidentally squirts a huge glob of ketchup on his mound of curly fries. Fuck. He has the ideal ketchup-to-curly-fry ratio down to a science, and this is not it. “No, absolutely not what I meant. It’s just. Did you know Derek had a kid?”

Boyd meditatively takes a bite of his burger. “No. But the nice thing about Derek is that he doesn’t go in for personal talk.”

Stiles shoots him a weird look. Of course Boyd would think that was nice. Stiles, though, has been trying to break down Derek’s walls even just a little bit for months now—sitting with him in class, sharing his notes, studying with him in the library and getting late-night waffles together afterwards, little by little pulling Derek out of his shell. He’d thought he was getting somewhere, but obviously not, not if Derek failed to mention this kid even existed.

Which he does. Stiles knows, because he can see him right now, over by Prof. Martin’s pool. Apparently his name is Jamie.

He’s one of only two kids here, which is not really unexpected given that this is the end-of-semester party for Prof. Martin’s honors criminal psych class. Not too many college kids around here with children. Stiles had assumed, like an idiot, that that was true for Derek, too. Or, more like, he hadn’t ever thought to wonder about it. He probably should have. At twenty-six, Derek is older than everyone else in the class except the professor. It’s totally plausible for a twenty-six-year-old to have a kid.

What seems less plausible is that that twenty-six-year-old with a kid would be Derek Hale. He just doesn’t look like Stiles’ idea of a dad. He came into class the first day in a leather jacket and tight jeans with this don’t-talk-to-me smolder, and Stiles spent most of that session pretending to look over the syllabus with the rest of the class while actually wondering what Derek looked like naked. He feels kind of skeevy about it now, if Derek is somebody’s dad.

It seems more and more likely that he is. The kid is a dark-haired little boy, not very talkative, and not five minutes after they arrived, he’d already bitten Prof. Martin’s daughter on the arm and been banished to time-out. That was about when Stiles felt he had to accept that yep, that was probably Derek’s kid.

Now Jamie and Derek are sitting together on the edge of the pool, dipping their feet in the water. Jamie is sniffling, but as Stiles watches, Derek pulls a kleenex out of the pocket of his leather jacket and carefully—tenderly, even—wipes at the kid’s face with it. Derek’s saying something to him, and he’s got this achingly gentle smile on his face that Stiles has never seen before, and then he’s pulling a quarter out of his pocket. At the flash of silver the kid stops crying, looking tentatively interested. Derek winks at him and pretends to put the coin back in his pocket, then reaches up and plucks it from behind his ear. Jamie stares at it, and then at Derek, dumbfounded. Derek does it a second time, faster, tickling the kid’s ear as he “finds” the coin, and Jamie giggles. It’s basically illegal levels of adorable.

Yeah, that confirms it. It’s definitely more than a simple lust-crush thing at this point, and Stiles is fucked.

Stiles looks over at Boyd. He’s busy on his phone, typing out a meticulous, grammatically correct reply to a wall of emojis from Erica. “So…” Stiles prompts. “Fatherhood?”

“I think you’re closer to needing adult supervision yourself than providing it to others,” Boyd decides, hitting send on his text. “You can be the fun uncle, at most.”

“Hmm,” Stiles says, and morosely eats a curly fry.

*

Stiles is over at the cooler on the patio, digging around through the ice to see if there’s any beer left, when someone clears their throat behind him. He waffles and snags a Sprite and turns around to see Derek hovering there, leaning an elbow on the railing.  

Stiles pops the tab open on his can and tries for a casual bro nod. “Hey. ‘Sup.”

“I like your shirt,” Derek says, biting his lip. “I am Groot.”

Stiles smiles and runs a hand down his chest, over the baby Groot on his shirt. “Yeah. I wasn’t gonna buy any more graphic tees, but then I saw it and I was powerless to resist.”

“Have you seen the sequel yet?”

Stiles throws his head back and groans. “No, and it’s killing me. I can’t wait. I’ve watched the trailer like ten times. I’ve been forcing myself to stay in my dorm and study, though. No movies for me. I mean, the way everyone was talking, I thought for sure Professor Martin’s final was going to torpedo my GPA. I’m actually feeling pretty good about it, though. I think I probably got, like, a low A. You?”

“Same. I feel sorry for anybody who didn’t keep up with the readings, though. That would torpedo their grade.”

Stiles snorts. He knows exactly who didn’t do the readings, because most of them are huddled together in a glum little group at the picnic table at the edge of the yard. “Definitely. There was so much on the final that was never even mentioned in class.”

Derek looks at him, lingering in a way that makes Stiles’ skin feel too hot. “I guess now that that’s over with, you can finally see the movie.”

“Yeah.” Stiles laughs, nervous without quite knowing why. Maybe it’s just that when Derek looks at him, it always makes him kind of nervous. “Guess so.”

Derek picks at the peeling label on his lemonade bottle, asks, “Do you maybe want to go see it with me?”

Oh.

On the one hand, YES, hell yes, Stiles wants that, and the fact that Derek wants that makes him feel like breaking out dancing right here, right now, but—maybe Stiles feels slightly less like he should want it now than he did, oh, say, this morning.

In the distance, he can hear Jamie shriek-laughing down on the lawn as Heather tickle-attacks him. Dating Derek—seriously dating, because Stiles wouldn’t be down for casual, not in this case—would mean being in that kid’s life, maybe even eventually being that kid’s step-parent. And yeah, Jamie is cute. So is seeing how good Derek is with kids. But… Stiles’ gut reaction is “Yikes.”

Stiles agrees with Boyd on this one: Stiles should be the fun uncle at most. Stiles as a dad, responsible for the well-being of a small child? Yikes. Double yikes. Infinite yikes.

Derek is still staring at him, his smile fading to something more closed-off, more nervous, the longer Stiles doesn’t say anything. By the time Stiles says, “No, I—I’m sorry. I wish I could, but I can’t,” Derek doesn’t even look that surprised, more… resigned. Sad.

“Okay, well…” he says. “Thanks for considering it.” He nods, once, without quite looking at Stiles. Then he sets his lemonade down on the railing and walks away.

*

Stiles doesn’t really feel much like partying after that. There’s nothing like rejecting your crush—after a whole semester of trying to get them to ask you out, no less!—to ruin the mood. And anyway, he’s already eaten and socialized and done his time sitting around in the sunshine. He’s probably going to have sunburn all over his face and neck tomorrow to go along with his Derek-asked-me-out-and-I-said-no moping. He can be both emotionally and physically miserable at the same time. Great.

When he opens Prof. Martin’s front door, heading out to his Jeep parked up on the road, there’s a man jogging up the porch steps. He slows when he sees Stiles, shooting him a friendly enough smile.

“Everyone’s out back,” Stiles says. The guy looks a little older, like Derek’s age, maybe, and he has a tattoo on his arm, two thick dark lines. He definitely wasn’t in their class this semester. “Are you a friend of Professor Martin’s?”

“No, actually, I don’t know her. I’m Scott. I’m a friend of Derek’s. I’m just here to pick up my son for his dentist appointment.”

Stiles isn’t sure what his heart just did in response to that, but it’s probably nothing good. “Your son as in, the little boy who likes to bite people?”

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a phase he’s been going through,” Scott says apologetically, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. “We’re working on it. Hope he wasn’t too much of a problem today. Derek asked Professor Martin if he could come, and she said it would be fine, so…”

“Yeah, it’s been good,” Stiles manages to say through his inner mantra of Stiles, you idiot.  

“Awesome. When Jamie heard Derek was going to a party, he just got so excited, you know? Kira—my wife—she tried to tell him it was a grown-up party, but he was really insistent. He’s kind of obsessed with Derek right now. Everything Derek does, Jamie wants to do.” Scott laughs a little. “You should’ve seen how excited he was when Kira hinted he might get a jacket just like Derek’s for his birthday.”

“Oh my god,” Stiles says faintly, because that mental image is almost too cute to handle. Also… apparently he isn’t leaving yet after all.

*

Stiles lingers as unobtrusively as possible on the back patio until Scott has collected Jamie from Derek, and then he heads over. For once, he’s able to sneak up on Derek, even though this time he’s not even trying. Derek’s clearly lost in his own head, standing alone over by the pool and staring down into the still water.

“Hey, Derek,” Stiles says, drifting to a stop a few feet away.

Derek jumps a little, then sees who it is and looks even more startled.

Stiles snorts. “Sorry, dude. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t,” Derek says, unconvincingly.

“Right, well. I just… I was just wondering if you still wanted to see that movie.”

Derek eyes him, wary and kind of puzzled. “Thirty minutes ago you said—”

“I know what I said. What I said was stupid.”

Derek’s expression doesn’t change, except to look incrementally more confused.

Stiles sighs. He’s just going to have to say it. “Thirty minutes ago I thought you were Jamie’s dad, okay? Now I know better.”

Derek uncrosses his arms. “Oh?”

“Yeah. And I figured… The date was probably going to go pretty well, and then there’d be another one and another.”

“That’s confident of you,” Derek says, cautiously pleased.

“Well,” Stiles shrugs, “I think I’ve spent enough time with you by now to know we’d be pretty great together, and honestly? I’m crazy about you. Any relationship with you, I would work like hell to make it work.”

Derek looks a little stunned.

Stiles forges on, hoping he’s not creeping Derek out. “So yeah, I figured if I said yes, it wouldn’t be just one date. And I figured I shouldn’t just jump into that without being prepared for what it might mean. Long-term.”

Derek steps in a little closer, and he’s just staring at Stiles and not saying anything and it’s wreaking havoc on Stiles’ nerves.

So, of course, he keeps talking, and talking. “Before you get creeped out, trust me, I know you’re just asking me out, not proposing marriage or whatever, but listen, I’m not going to jump into something with you if I’m not ready for the possibility of it getting serious one day. When you showed up with Jamie, I thought things getting serious between us might include your kid, and… Honestly, I’m not sure I want kids, and that’s not even getting into whether it’d be a good idea to give me a child. I feel like that could actually be a very terrifying idea, both for me and for him.”

“Stiles—”

“I mean, I’m happy enough seeing other people’s kids once in a while and then sending them home to their parents, you know? So I guess what I’m trying to say is, finding out you don’t have kids was basically the best news of my life because now I can say yes, like, the most enthusiastic of yeses—”

Derek kisses him. Stiles agreeably stops trying to talk, letting his eyes fall shut and his hands drift down to twist in Derek’s shirt. Who needs talking, anyway, when he has Derek gently coaxing his mouth open with his tongue. That’s the kind of communication style Stiles can really get behind.

After the third wolf-whistle from over by the picnic table, they reluctantly break apart. Derek looks satisfyingly dazed. Stiles feels like he probably does, too, because wow.

“I guess that was a yes to my yes?”

“That was a ‘Stiles, shut up before you run out of oxygen.’” Derek smiles. “And it was a yes.”

Awesome.

(end)

You’ve heard of 110% Jack Zimmermann, now get ready for

0% Jack Zimmermann.

  • There’s a cookout at a neighboring frat house, and the hockey team plus Farmer go to hang out and drink beer. They start playing an impromptu game of volleyball in the yard, and Jack’s on Chowder’s team.
  • Now, Chowder is steeling himself for strategy, Jack’s murder face, and a lot of competitive bullshit.
  • What he gets is Jack chirping Holster, who isn’t even in the yard. The ball goes flying right past Jack’s face and this total meatball just watches it bounce out of bounds.
  • “Ha ha, look at it go.”
  • Chowder kicks Jack off his team because they are losing so bad, it’s actually pretty embarrassing. And Jack’s like, “What? Of course I can play with a Sprite in my hand.”
  • “Jack no.”
  • Also consider:
  • Jack studying for a class that he has zero interest in. His studying for economics looks an awful lot like amateur architecture.
  • “Jack, why is there a popsicle stick Eiffel Tower on the kitchen table? Wait, where did these popsicle sticks even come from?”
  • Jack actually gives negative fucks when it comes to cooking just for himself. His meals don’t even make sense half of the time. Bitty caught him eating a bowl of mac and cheese, tater tots, green peas and ketchup once. He still has nightmares.
  • There’s another cookout on Frat row that the hockey team crashes (but they bring tub juice so they get to stay). Someone set up a badminton net in the yard and Jack somehow gets roped into playing.
  • (Not by Chowder, though, because that’s the kind of lesson you only have to learn once.)
  • Bitty is playing his little Southern heart out, running up and down his side of the makeshift court. He swings at the birdie so hard it actually gets stuck in his racket.
  • Meanwhile, Jack is seeing if he can balance his racket on his chin.
  • And then he tries to see if he can whack the birdie onto the frat house’s roof. Which turns into several people cussing him out and Bitty chases him around for a few minutes with the intent of beating Jack Zimmermann’s ass.
  • (Jack laughs and laughs and maybe he lets Bitty catch him and then he grins up at him—there had been a leaping tackle involved in the take down—and he says “What’re you gonna do with me now, Bittle?” And Bitty is Not Amused, so he pinches Jack’s nipple hard and then he goes help the frat bros get the birdie out of the gutter.)
  • Jack loves history, but only some history. He gives a lengthy presentation on Colonial North America in one of his history classes, and at the end the TA raises her hand. “How did Thomas Jefferson’s contributions shift the course of United States history?”
  • And he just squints at her and goes, “Who the fuck is Thomas Jefferson?”
  • Watching TV with Jack is a gamble. He’s either on the edge of his seat, eyes trained on the screen, ready to permanently silence anyone who dares speak/interrupt his show. Or he talks over the TV, puts it on mute to better hear someone else talk over the TV, and makes fun of the various American accents on the show.
  • (Jack’s southern accent is so bad and he knows it, and he makes it so much worse when Bitty is around to hear it. It’s all fun and games until a French Canadian on TV has something to say, and then Jack’s all like “Wtf, Bitty? I thought we were friends!?” Bitty is really glad he sprung for throw pillows in the Haus, because otherwise he would end up concussing his captain.)
  • Jack took one semester of Spanish, and he remembers a surprising amount of it, considering he went to class a total of six times and did virtually none of the work. His Spanish is terrible, but he knows numbers, colors, seasons and “No bueno.” For some time, lots of things were “no bueno.”
  • But then Jack stumbled across ASL via YouTube and he gets super into it. By the end of the week he knows about as much ASL as he does Spanish. By the end of the month he can sign the most beautiful profanity and dad jokes. By the end of the school year it’s started rubbing off on the rest of the team.
  • (Their butchered ASL is somehow worse than Jack’s Spanish, and he would be more annoyed if it weren’t hilarious. For some time Ransom and Holster take to pointing at good things and then making the sign for “candy.” Sriracha? Candy. Apple pie? Candy. The mysterious orange cat that wanders along Frat Row? Candy. Chowder’s stuffed shark? Candy. The latest episode of Breaking Bad? Candy. Pretty soon everyone starts using the candy sign as a gesture of approval. One Sunday Jack walks down to the kitchen to find Bitty making those amazing sausage balls, with real maple syrup and grated sharp cheddar. Jack touches his shoulder so that Bitty’s looking at him and then he presses a finger to his jaw, candy, and points to Bitty so there’s no misunderstanding. Bitty blushes clear to the roots of his hair, even when he says, “Y’all are so weird.”)
  • This takes us to a new friend. Ransom and Holster and Jack and Chowder are chilling in the dining hall, and Ransom and Holster are using their terrible pidgin ASL (half the signs are made up and the rest don’t matter) which catches the eye of one Amy Willashire, who is HOH and still pretty new to Samwell.
  • Amy marches her happy ass up to the table and starts signing away, a mile a minute, the biggest grin on her face because sometimes it feels like she’s the only HOH student on campus. That grin slowly fades as Ransom and Holster stare at her like she’s grown a second head. (They’re actually panicking, because they understand about one word in ten and how are they going to tell her that?)
  • And then Jack perks up and starts signing back, so Amy is signing to him. He has to tell her twice to slow tf down, but then she sits with them and by the time the hockey crew have to go to class she’s chirping Jack for his ASL accent. (Some of his signs come out backwards, and he’ll swap hands halfway through a thought instead of using his dominant hand for most of the work. Jack flips her off with a laugh, which is a sign everyone can get right.)
  • So Jack and Amy are ASL buddies. Amy is super stoked that most of the hockey team knows at least some of the language, which means she can tell them something in a pinch. So the team learns even more ASL and Amy learns about hockey, and things are golden.
  • Until Amy invites Jack and Dex to a pool party. Everyone there is at least one beer in, and they’re playing in the pool, and someone mentions water chicken. Amy wants to play, so as a matter of course she clambers onto Jack’s shoulders.
  • From her vantage point, she can’t tell what Jack’s saying but she can feel him giggling like a bastard as they wipe out literally every time, to the point where everyone else is playing pool chicken and she is trying to splash Jack into next week. He’s splashing back. It’s a whole thing.
  • (They find Dex in the basement with a few of the stoners and a lingering smell of pot. Dex has finally found his chill.)
  • That is what 0% Jack Zimmermann looks like.

It costs nothing to agree to harmless things with people you’re never going to see again. The man at Boston Market who served me mashed potatoes told me he loves ketchup on them, I told him that sounds like a great idea (note I would never do that), and he lit up like nobody’s business. He just had a small amount of joy in his day. It cost me nothing.
Be the good the world needs

So Talk

Fanfic tiiiiiime

Bughead ficlet

Summary:

“I didn’t think you even liked girls,” Archie said finally, playing with his paper straw wrapper.

“I don’t.” Jughead answered, eyes meeting Archie across the lip of his mug.

“You don’t?” Archie asked, a tiny bit of hopefulness creeping into his voice.

“I just like Betty.“

Pop’s Diner. Ten pm. Jughead did not even look up from the screen when Archie slid into the booth across from him. His fingers continued to move across the keyboard steadily. The only break he took was to drain the dregs of his coffee cup and then continue working.

“So,” Archie said finally. “You and Betty.”

Jughead allowed his eyes to flicker across at the redhead before turning back to the screen.

“So that’s weird.” Archie finished, huffing a little in amusement.

Jughead stopped typing.

“Not like… bad weird. Wow, okay, so that sounded rude. That’s not what I meant it’s just- you know, you? And Betty? She’s, you know…. and you’re so… yeah.” Archie trailed off. Rubbed the back of his neck with a hand. Sighed.

Jughead began typing again.

After a moment, Archie got up. Jughead did not watch him go, but when Archie returned with a soda and a refill of coffee he accepted the cup with a nod of thanks.

“I didn’t think you even liked girls,” Archie said finally, playing with his paper straw wrapper.

“I don’t.” Jughead answered, eyes meeting Archie across the lip of his mug.

“You don’t?” Archie asked, a tiny bit of hopefulness creeping into his voice.

“I just like Betty.”

Jughead put the cup down and closed the lid of his laptop. The two boys, best friends, maybe rivals, looked at each other for a moment then. Archie broke first. Jughead knew he would.

“It was always me and you and me and her. So this feels…”

“Unacceptable?” Jughead asked dryly.

“Unexpected.” Archie corrected. “Should it be? Unexpected, I mean.”

“For you, sure.”

“But not for you two?”

“I can’t speak for her.”

“So speak for you.”

Pops came by then and dropped two plates- deluxe burgers, cheese fries. Jughead’s stiff posture softened slightly at the sight of the food- a peace offering. He picked up a fry. Archie let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Your whole life, Archie, you’ve had this story. You and Betty, girl next door. Perfect. Sweet and thoughtful and gorgeous. You know everything about her- you know where she got that scar above her left elbow. You know what she looks like with chicken pox. You’ve seen her naked- though not since you were like six. Probably one day you’re gonna marry her.”

Archie jerked in his seat a little- hands holding the burger stilled even as the onion and tomato slipped from the bun and onto the plate. He seemed almost hypnotized.

“But today is not that day.” Jughead pauses to stir his coffee and Archie knows in the back of his mind that this is for dramatic effect but he can’t help being swept along.

Jughead’s a hell of a writer.

“You’re in high school. Who wants to live their whole life with the girl next door? You want adventure. You want to meet and woo and love enough women so that when you and Betty come together? You’re ready to make it stick. No one wants to break up with a girl like Betty.”

Archie started to speak but Jughead jabbed his fry in the air, cutting him off.

“Here’s the problem, Arch.” Jughead smiled a little, sardonically.

“I know she got that scar jumping into the lake on a dare and cutting her arm on a piece of metal because she did it so I wouldn’t have to. I was scared of the water and Reggie was being a dick. I remember how red and swollen and chipmunk faced she got in second grade- because I gave her the chicken pox. We could only hang out with each other for a week because everyone else was afraid of getting infected. Which is also when we shared an oatmeal bath.” Jughead raises an eyebrow and the joke is so foreign- girls, and baths, and Jughead- that it doesn’t even register that Archie should smile or react in some way.

“And you’d marry her.” Archie said. His voice was flatter than he’d intended.

“Probably.” Jughead conceded, picking up his burger now that his fries were gone.

“Have you always-?” Archie asked, pushing his half eaten food aside.

“Mm.” Jughead murmured thoughtfully around a mouthful. “More or less. But I figured- Archie and Betty. Endgame? No chance.”

Archie shook his head, but more out of confusion than denial.

“I kissed her,” Jughead said abruptly.

Archie gave a shaky laugh. “Okay, that was rude, but I seriously can’t picture you kissing anybody.”

Jughead grinned despite himself. “It’s all very 80’s teen comedy. Social outcast after the golden girl cheerleader.”

“Betty isn’t like that. She doesn’t think like that.” Archie said, no longer laughing.

“Then maybe- just me. Just she won’t want me. Maybe me knowing her enough to fall for her was enough for her to see what’s wrong with me and that she should just stay away. I’m not really a part of this-” Jughead gestured faintly around.

“Jughead-” Archie began.

“No, I know. I already know what you’re going to say. You said it with the burger.” Jughead smiled a bit and pushed away his empty plate.

“So what now?” Archie asked, pushing the rest of his plate towards his friend. Jughead picked up the other half.

“Whatever she wants,” he said, adding ketchup to the burger.

“You’d be, what, her boyfriend? Walk her to her locker? School dances?” Archie looked skeptical but Jughead gave him a look and even around the food it said for Betty? For Betty, participate in this pointless social posturing?

But he’d been sitting at their lunch table.

He’d been writing for the newspaper.

He’d been coming to class regularly, and on time.

He was changing.

Everything was.

“And what if she wants to be friends?” Archie asked. And this time his voice held concern- warm concern- for the someone who hadn’t had his heart broken. And his eyes when they looked over Jughead seemed to say I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want you to feel how I made her feel.

“Whatever she wants,” Jughead said, but his voice dropped a little.

And they both understood without saying it.

Best friends do.

Notes:

Oh look another fandom to write for cause I wasn’t stuck on five ongoings or whatever,

noolss  asked:

okay al so imagine: Neil and Andrew have been on the same pro team for a while when their nutritionist enlists neils help to improve Andrews diet. the high ups enforce it. how would Neil convince Andrew to eat healthier?? he'll find a way, Andrews jobs depends on it (but like imagine how funny this could be) <3

what’s this? al answering a prompt that’s been in her inbox for seven months? YIKES

  • it starts when andrew opens the freezer one morning for breakfast
  • and there’s no ice cream
  • there’s a bag of peas and sweetcorn
  • there’s an empty ice tray
  • but there’s no ice cream
  • which is strange, because andrew remembers buying some the other day
  • and andrew never forgets
  • he goes back out to the lounge where neil is giving sir an intense stare while scratching behind his ears
  • which is a sure sign of guilt. neil is intense, but he says that the cats are the most calming influence in his life. which is sappy.
  • so andrew stands there and waits for neil to meet his eyes
  • (generally andrew’s found that if he exists for long enough in neil’s presence, he starts talking)
  • (sometimes even when andrew isn’t there neil will start talking)
  • maybe if neil doesn’t respond, andrew’s death glare will develop true murderous powers. that would be a win-win, as far as andrew is concerned.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hii can you do one where Betty is in denial about her feelings so Veronica and jughead fake date to get her to show her true feelings?

This ones cute! I’m gonna kind of spin it where both Betty and jughead don’t realize the others feelings.
***

“Are you sure this is such a good idea?” Jughead winced, rubbing the back of his neck as Veronica gripped his free hand with hers, dragging him into pops.

Kevin was walking beside the pair, rolling his eyes.
“Of course it is Jughead, you want Betty to be happy don’t you?” Kevin smirked raising a brow in question.

Jughead lifted his head sharply and nodded
“Obviously I do.” He growled “but do we really think Archie is the guy for her? His track record isn’t that great with Betty. I mean I know you guys say she’s like in love with him or whatever.” He trailed off mumbling, his eyes darkening at the thought before he continued “..but come on, Archie’s my best friend but Betty deserves better, she deserves someone who’s going to be all about her. Someone who notices when she’s not eating because of her anxiety, or when she flicks her fingers because she’s excited, or even when..” Jughead was smiling now, thinking about the beautiful blonde, Veronica cut him off.

“Well Betty told me she was interested in someone, she wouldn’t tell me who, but she mentioned he would never feel the same way so she couldn’t tell him.” Veronica cut a glance over to Kevin who was smirking at Jughead “we can only assume that’s Archie based off of history, so once she sees us as together, ya know an unexpected couple, she’ll be filled with courage and finally tell him. It’s fool proof.” Veronica nodded proudly.

Jughead sighed
“I don’t get how pretending we’re a couple is going to affect her at all, but whatever. If it helps bets I’ll give it a try.”

Veronica smiled, pulling him through the doors.
“That’s the spirit.”

Kevin snorted, immediately spotting the red head and the blonde. He pulled veronica towards him and whispered for only her to hear

“Operation bughead is a go. Carry on soldier.”

Veronica flipped her long black hair and wrapped herself around Jughead as he stiffened, Veronica knew this was uncomfortable for him, he only ever let Betty get that close. She felt bad for half a second before she noticed the way her beautiful best friend was staring at them from the booth in the corner.

Oh this was gonna be fun.

Veronica practically squealed.

“Betty! Archiekins! We had no idea you were going to be here! We just wanted to stop by for a milkshake, Jughead just took me on the absolute best date. Right Juggiekins?” She put on her very best puppy dog eyes staring at the dark haired boy.

He just shrugged and nodded
“Yeah, it was great.”

The boy needed to take some acting lessons, she rolled her eyes sliding in across from the pair sitting practically on top of Jughead.

Archie seemed to be choking on his fries as he asked
“You two are dating? Like together? Together together?”

Veronica nodded happily
“It’s new, but yes. We’re a couple.”

Betty seemed close to tears, as she smiled shakily at the pair
“Congratulations you guys.”

Jughead eyed the way her fingernails dug into her palms, ducking his head to meet her eyes he frowned, Betty responded by pulling her sleeves over her hands and smiling sadly.

Woah, she was hiding from him. She never hid from him. What was going on?

Veronica felt awful, her heart hurting at causing her best friend pain, but it had to be done or nothing would change.

“Anyway” she continued “what are you two up too?”

Archie looked pissed and just shrugged his shoulder, nodding at the paper in front of them
“Homework” he grumbled, getting up he began walking over to the counter. “I’m getting a soda, Anyone want anything?”

Betty shook her head, going back to her own work. Veronica nodded

“I’ll take a cherry coke, and jughead he’ll have what he always has, a burger and a Pepsi.” She rolled her eyes

“A coke. ” Betty whispered from her side of the booth. Archie looked over to her and raised a brow “what?”

She looked up locking eyes on Veronica
“He likes coke, he hates Pepsi. It tastes flat, and don’t forget he doesn’t like ketchup, pops always puts it on the burgers, you have to clarify. You’re his girlfriend shouldn’t you know that?” Betty bit out, resting her pen on the table and pushing her shoulders back.

Veronica raised a brow, laying her hands flat on the table and smiling, here we go.
“I know plenty about Jughead, Betty. He’s my boyfriend.”

Betty tightened her pony tail

“Oh yeah? Well do you know he hates to sit on the outside of the booth? Kind of like your forcing him too right now. Or how about the fact that he never once has eaten a piece of broccoli. Do you help sew his beanie back together when it gets holes? Since you’re his girlfriend you obviously pack an extra sandwich for lunch because you know how hungry he gets. Did you know that he’s probably the best person in this entire world?” Her lips were trembling and she stood abruptly “Im sorry, I have to go. Excuse me.” She bolted out of the booth, wrapping her arms around herself as she sprinted out the door.

“Betty!” Veronica called.

Jughead was out of the booth in seconds flat, following the blonde quickly. His phone long forgotten.

He caught up to the gorgeous, crying blonde about half way down Main Street.

“Betty!” He called nearly bumping into her, grabbing her wrist with his hand and spinning her around, taking in her watery eyes and red nose he felt his heart ache.

“What’s the matter bets? What happened?” He whispered

She looked into his eyes with a shaky breath
“I’m happy for you Juggie. I’m happy you’re happy. I just… I don’t know. I can’t… what does she have that I don’t?” She knew she sounded pathetic but she was too far gone.

He looked absolutely confused.
“What? Who? Veronica? Betty I…”

She cut him off
“I know I’m damaged, and I know I’m just a whole bunch of baggage but I can be good for you. I know you Jughead, more than she does, and okay I’m not as stunning or exotic as she is, but maybe if I wore tighter..”

It was his turn to cut her off , pressing his lips to hers and flexing his fingers on her waist.

Perfect. Jughead hated that word, but this moment with her lips on his, her hands pressed into his chest, her soft honey blonde hair tickling his cheeks, it was perfect.

Pulling away to smile at the dazed girl next door, he tucked her hands in his and nuzzled his nose into hers.

“Veronica and me were pretending, she wanted you to see that anything could happen so you would gain enough courage to ask Archie out.”

She pulled away a confused expression marring her face
“Archie? Why would I want Archie. That’s history.”

He tugged her back into him

“I don’t want Veronica, I don’t want anyone. I want you. I want you and now that I have you, I’m not giving you up. You’re everything to me.”

She smiled waterey eyed, as she pressed a soft kiss on his lips

“I’m not losing you either Jughead.”

He smiled, intertwining their fingers as they walked back to pops

“Come on l, I think we owe Veronica a milkshake.”