he's hot shit and he knows it

anonymous asked:

Any fic recs that include Hux seeing Ren's face for the first time and thinking "holy shit he's hot" or maybe not even knowing it's Ren??

I’ve had this ask in my inbox for about a week and I feel like a bunch of fics should be coming to mind for this theme but every time I think about a response my mind goes right to my favorite filthy porn fic in the entire fandom, Be a Body by @cracktheglasses!! Read them tags and if you’re into them ENJOY, it’s so fucking good and wonderful identity porn where Hux doesn’t realize unmasked Ren is the Ren he knows from the ship. And Ren is incredibly hot in this fic, he’s just really like, confident and in charge :xxx

I know I’m blanking on some others along these lines that I’ve loved, maybe someone can help me & anon out by reblogging this with more recs??

Some Shitty Jared x Reader Overwatch Headcanons

Overwatch HCs cause you know Jared loves that shit.

Enjoy

Requested by: @frozenheals

(It’s shitty because I only just got into Overwatch I’m sorry.)

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

- You played Overwatch before you met Jared and when you told him he thought you meant had played it before. Not that you were fucking obsessed and played that shit like crazy.

- You had your choice of main characters, the ones you were best at that you really liked.

- Jared almost always played as one of the hot women characters cause he’s an ass like that, maining Sambra for a while until his friends stopped letting him because he’d say “heh I hacked you daddy”

- He had a major thing for Mercy, like he thought she was the hottest shit. We all know he probably busted a nut at her Halloween skin.

- ANYWAY.

- When playing against Jared you’d play Mercy in that skin because he liked it and you liked to fuck with him. He wasn’t very good at hiding the fact that you as Mercy in that skin made him hot and bothered

- when he played with you he’d try to find a hot guy to play as and decided on Soldier. That was until you called him Dad: 76.

- “But he’s like, fucking ripped!”

- “He’s also like, fuckin rapidly aging!”

- He ultimately mained Reinhardt, he really enjoyed the tank play style as well as his controls.

- Playing with him usually included a bunch of shitty impressions. You nearly died of laughter when he told you he had mastered his Tracer impression

- “Cheers love the cavalry is here,”

- JARED THAT WAS *weezing* THE WORST THING IVE EVER HEARD.

- bonus: when Evan would play he really liked Zarya and Reaper, Zarya for her play style and Reaper because he’s a bad ass. And the first time he played he mastered all of the accents perfectly, you especially loved his Hanzo and Torbjorn impressions.

- Jared always leaned on you for healing in battle. When you’d be to busy he’d start to complain saying that you were his girlfriend and that means you had to help him. you let him die.

- When you played against each other and he’d pull ahead you were not afraid to use some dirty tricks. Your hand would rest on his thigh. Than slide up his leg. And eventually you’d palm him through his pants. You’d also win because he’d be too busy enjoying to play.

- he’d buy a shit load of boxes when holiday packs came out and he’d let you open them, fueling your addiction.

- He’d never tel you this but he was jealous at how good you were, it got to a point where he just didn’t want to play with you anymore.

- he did anyway cause he loves you. (Especially as Mercy)

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

Requests are closing soon.

Supernatural:  10 Lessons From Tonight’s Episode.

“Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets,” season 12, episode 10

1.  Dean has no concept of personal space or social propriety.

And Sam, as always, is the perpetually done third wheel.

2.  He is also an embarrassingly worried boyfriend.

Look at this asshole, just swooping in out of nowhere to check in on his bae.  Fucking whipped. 

3.  And just embarrassing in general.

4.  Cas’s sass levels are astronomical. 

Crowley could probably take lessons from him at this point, to be honest.

5.  Cas has zero time for the gender binary (and has always been hot and done.)

Look at this bad bitch, hopping from gender to gender like a Virginia Woolf protagonist.  He knows that the binary is a useless human construct, and he ain’t got time for that shit.  

6.  He’s also always been really, really cute (and really, really not straight.)

One thing I love about Cas getting an (adult) female vessel is it not only confirms his lack of definable gender (which we’ve seen with other angels, but a main character is a different matter entirely), is that it ends the notion of his heterosexuality.  So you say he’s always been attracted to girls?  Well, at the very least, that makes him a genderfluid lesbian.  

In other news, the writers played themselves, and Cas is now technically confirmed to be as straight as that (adorable) jaunty hat he’s wearing.

7.  Dean is getting much better at emotional honesty.

Words I’ve been waiting to hear since season six.

8.  *Nothing to say here, just incoherent sobbing.*

9.  He literally loves Cas more than life itself.

And everybody knows it.  Except Cas.

10.  But especially poor, poor, Sam.


Overall rating:  10/10 for gayness, cute 20th century attire, healthy communication, Cas centricity, and worried Dean.  Well done, SPN!  


Gif credit to:  @shirtlesssammy, @codestielckles, @supernaturaldaily, @novaks, @yourfavoritedirector,  @deanslittlebabyboy

ALRIGHT MY DUDES I’M NOT GONNA BORE YOU WITH THE RABBIT HOLE I WENT DOWN TO FIND THIS BUT JUST LOOK AT IRL KEITH

His name is Ernie Reyes Jr. but he played a character named Keno (KENO?? KEITH?? COINCIDENCE?? I THINK NOT) in the 1991 movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (again, don’t ask how I got here)

He’s a pizza delivery boy that gets caught up in turtle shenanigans and literally only exists for one movie but please just look at him.

The black t-shirt, the bright red jacket, tHE MULLET. Did I also mention he’s Filipino because I could go for some Filipino!Keith headcanons like sign me the fuck up

AND WHAT’S THIS??? Have you always wanted to know what Keith would look like reacting to meeting cryptids irl well HERE YOU FUCKING GO. THROWBACK TO THE OG CRYPTIDS OF MY CHILDHOOD: GIANT RATMAN AND HIS GREEN DISCIPLES

Here’s him ready to fight a bitch in a tank top because he loves fisticuffs and is a hella good martial artist. Within the first like four minutes of the movie, he sees these dudes robbing a store and goes up to them ALONE telling them “you’re under arrest” HOLDING A BUNCH OF PIZZAS and attempts to take all of them out alone. I mean he beats the shit out of them but like then a bunch more guys come running out and then he’s like oH SHIT I DIDNT THINK THIS THROUGH but luckily the turtles come to save his ass.

Did I also mention that out of all the turtles he is most similar to Raphael? The red turtle. The most impatient and impulsive turtle. Always ready to fight. PLEASE. Also Raphael doesn’t really like him at first but then Keno suggests he use himself as bait to find the baddies and suddenly Raphael is like “I hate to agree with him but he’s gotta point.” So even though Splinter is like “TOO DANGEROUS” the two of them break off from the rest of the team and do the mission anyways (um) and accidentally find The Big Bad™ (uM) and then get into hot shit (UM) and Raphael sacrifices himself for Keno (UMMMMMMMMMM). But don’t worry Keno brings everyone back to save him.

And then later there’s a scene where Splinter tries to teach him how to meditate but Keno physically can’t do it and runs off to fight instead because fuck patience he needs to kick something. Here’s this idiot literally back flipping onto the stage to fight Shredder one-on-one like wtf he’s so extra™

He also had an action figure even though he was only in one movie and HOLY SHIT THIS IS MORE KEITH LIKE THAN THE KEITH ACTION FIGURE????

In conclusion: WHAT THE FUCK WAS KEITH DOING WITH THE NINJA TURTLES IN 1991?? IDK BUT I FOUND HIM

Bonus: Keno sticking his leggy out

Friendly reminder that Guzma accomplished his childhood dream before you even finished your trials. You know, how he wanted to be a Trial Captain and all, but was rejected? Yeah. He accomplished that. Don’t believe me?

Po Town was his bug trial. Consider this: the player goes to Po Town as a distraction so Skull could escort Lillie back to Aether. In order for this to work they had to know where you were, what you were doing, and have a plan to keep you busy long enough to keep you out of the way. So what does Guzma do? He sets up barricades. Trial barricades. And puts grunts out at strategic positions. And lets his grunts keep running their Pokemon Center. Well, that’s all incidental, you might think. They make money from running their center, anyways, so why not let them keep on with it? Besides the part where it would be infinitely easier to let you exhaust your pokemon with your limited resources and have all of his grunts hold you hostage with their healthy, energetic pokemon.

Of course, then you get into the mansion, and that’s when the trial really starts. Every trial in the game has you complete a certain task. You know, defeating a bunch of pokemon, taking pictures, answering quizzes… or finding passcodes. I mean, let’s be honest, here. Team Skull probably doesn’t use passcodes to get to Guzma. They can all tell they’re Team Skull. They have very specific threads. and they don’t ever stop moving their hands. They know when they’re talking to another grunt, and if there’s something urgent they have to tell him there’s no time to have to sit and go through his whole dumb password routine—and even if they did, remember, this whole thing was planned ahead of time. Guzma could have easily coerced his grunts into not saying shit about the passwords and make you waste more time going allllll the way up only to figure out you had to go running around to figure that shit out. But nope. There was one grunt, who decided to tell you very loudly about oh man these passwords are so hard to remember you know those two entire things about Guzma that anyone living in that mansion would know, plus making sure to say no at the end aw jeez aw man whoops I guess I just lost this information somewhere in the mansion and am making no move to try and head you off before you find it haha.
He told you what Guzma wanted him to tell you.

So you get the passwords, and you head on up to see Guzma, but he doesn’t have a totem pokemon or anything, so for your trial you just have to beat him, instead. This isn’t the first time you fought him, and it hasn’t even been very long since the first fight, either. He knows you’ve beaten him before. He knows you might very well beat him again. And he has this entirely inconspicuous treasure chest filled with Buginium Z. You know. That Z-crystal he stole from EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE GODDAMN REGION because he didn’t want anyone else to have it. That Buginium Z. “Well obviously he wants to show it off since he thinks he’s hot shit!” you say, and yeah, that’s probably why he usually leaves it out. Except, remember, he knows you’re coming. He knows he may or may not win. And even then, if he didn’t want you to have the Buginium, he could have just hidden the chest or closed the lid and sat on it. You’re eleven. He’s twenty-something and the tallest character in the game. He could have just put his hand on your forehead and you wouldn’t have been able to reach it. Instead, he leaves it out. Leaves it open. And leaves you alone in his throne room after you beat him. You know. With his prized treasure that he thinks says he’s the most badass Bug trainer in Alola. If he didn’t want you to have a Buginium, he would have damn well made sure you never even saw it. You beat him. He lets you have it.

So you take the Buginium that he’s left sitting out on “accident” and head back out through the mansion, maybe taking one last look for shit before you go because you steal everyone’s things without remorse, and on your way out of Po Town, you notice the barricades are gone. The trial barricades that you can only pass through when you’ve defeated a captain’s trial, like they told you wayyyy back in the very beginning of the game. They could have left those up to slow you down a little bit more, give Lusamine a little more time without having to worry about you getting in the way, but instead Guzma’s let you waltz out without having to jump through any hoops—he left before you, remember. He’s the one who had them taken down.

You have to keep in mind that all of this was planned. That they needed a way to keep you busy so they could take Lillie. That Guzma knew you were coming and had plenty of time to prepare. So you leave Po Town, continuing on your adventure under a little bit more pressure than before, but Guzma? Jackass he may be, for one pokemon battle of one hour of one day, Guzma did the one thing he’d ever wanted to do in the first place:

Guzma was a Trial Captain.

9

hoseok birthday bonanza!

day 06 - dancing

2

Victuuri Week Day 3: Goblin AU

in which Viktor is this 937-year-old goblin who’s looking for his bride and Yuuri is fated to his bride and can see ghosts:


It was the strangest kind of attraction.

Even Yuuri, with his rather dull intuitive perception, had been very much cognizant – at that precise moment of meeting the stranger’s gaze – of the sudden electrifying chemistry between them, transpiring ever so briefly yet imparting a long-lasting effect on his consciousness.

It felt to him as though the world around him was so abruptly thrust into an eternity of quietude, blurred by the hollowness of nonexistence, except for the figure of the man who captivated his undiluted attention, a defined entity against the illegible backdrop, like a distinctive gleam of light in a vacuum of disorienting darkness.

Keep reading

HE

If your animal hurts you, take a step back and ask yourself why

This morning I am typing this with my ring finger, as my middle and thumb are pressing gauze to my index. Please excuse the typos.

I have been blessed with either docile animals and animals that love me dearly. I know I have. And when people at work ask me about hamsters in particular, I tell them I’ve been extremely lucky to never have been bitten.

This morning Bernie decided to tell me that he thinks his cage is more of an apartment and he would like a spacious house more. I knew that day would come - he is a Syrian after all, and very few cages really exist for them - but I was hoping it would take more than two days. I bought the biggest cage that could house him but he is not a fan. He has experienced life outside out of the box he was in at work and goddamn he is gonna enjoy it.

The only cages big enough are only available online where I live and take one to two months to ship. I told Bernie this, but of course being a hamster, he didn’t care. So I gave him a tissue box with a few pulled out, stuck some noms inbetween the sheets, and made a digging cave for him.

Not good enough, man. I booped his snoot, and he bit me.

So first off, hamster teeth hurt like a motherfucker.

Secondly, I wasn’t mad. I did yell out a foul word, but more out of pain than any anger at him. It’s not his fault. He just wants s bit more room AND his cool toys, not one or the other. I left to grab some gauze but I came right back, and took Bernie out, and we had ourselves an explore on my bed, which IS much larger than his cage, obviously. Bernie had a blast. He tunneled under sheets. He tunneled under pillows. He climbed Pillow Mountain. He wanted to rappel down the sides of the Bed Cliffs (Mama said no).

Bernie is now back in his cage thinking he is Hot Shit. And while out of cage time is important, it’s equally important that his actual cage be big enough so that I can work an eight or ten or twelve hour shift and come home and go right to bed, and know that he’s okay and not bored. In the meantime, I’m thinking of going to Walmart and buying one of those long bins used to store sheets and making him a maze out of cardboard. A big maze, with empty passages and passages stuffed with bedding and chambers big and stuffed with bedding to tunnel through. He’d like that. I’ll keep it once the big cage comes in, but hopefully this will tide him over while he lives in the apartment cage.

Bernie bit me to show he was frustrated. He wants to run NOW, not in two hours, not in two months. NOW.

Luna, Apollo, and Aisha, my cats, don’t bite and never have, but they do occasionally scratch. Not on purpose. They’re trying to get down or get up, they slip, or something exciting or scary happens and they need to book it. And it hurts every time.

You’re going to get hurt if you own a pet. You’re going to get bitten or scratched - by them, their equipment, etc. If they’re a bigger animal, you’re going to get body slammed from time to time. It’s okay.

I’m not saying you can’t yell FUCK when the pain hits. It’s actually scientifically proven that that helps lessen the pain. But don’t blame your pets. Look around and try to see it from their perspective. Maybe they’re tired, or something scared them. Maybe they have to pee. Maybe you’re bugging the crap out of them, or they want to play in an animal way, not in a people way. Maybe it was genuinely an accident and your body invaded the space they’d intended to put their body.

It’s okay. Talk to them calmly. Grab a bandaid or some Tylenol. Don’t yell at them. Don’t hit them. Don’t be mad at them. They’re just trying to talk to you and it’s not their fault you don’t speak hamster or bird or lizard, etc etc.

james: scuffed elbows, tapper of nails, drums fingers on knees, leans on walls, leans on tables, leans on anything stationary, also leans on people, terrible at chess, greets with a hug, ink stained knuckles, scar on temple from dolohov’s bludger, loves a girl, loves the girl, sings off-key, runs in the morning for fun, wanted to be a holyhead harpy when he was seven, ridiculously blind, chipped a canine in a fight with avery after he called sirius a traitor, takes stairs two at a time, only child but not really, playing card house architect, has never been seen with unrolled sleeves, kissed sirius after winning the quidditch cup, sends his mum flowers every week, meetings with mcgonagall every fortnight to discuss the others, named his owl quaffle, sprints down corridors after sirius, buys remus chocolate and hides it for him to find, sleeps shirtless, wakes up most nights from nightmares, bounces knees relentlessly, overflowing with energy, cannot stand still, can’t remember last time his mind shut up, wants to grow old so badly it hurts

sirius: cheekbones to die for, thinks he’s a connoisseur of firewhiskey, is not, has never had a spot, always has an arm round someones shoulders or a knee draped over their leg, rocks on chairs, asked out mcgonagall for odds on, rarely takes his shirt off, has a kitten called seraphina who he carries around in his pocket, once bet dumbledore five galleons he could beat him in a stare-off, lost, immaculate nails, has long conversations with lily where they plait each others hair and gossip about james, was the first to notice when marlene stopped eating, sits at the top of astronomy tower and shreds letters from his mother, president of protect the bees, won’t sleep with less than two pillows, spends a lot of time by the lake with remus, writes puns on parchment and leaves them round the castle, write’s pete’s charms essays for him when he’s bored, very proud of regulus when he catches the snitch, sits on the floor, sits on tables, sits on james, can’t cook pasta, has a map of all the places he wants to visit, infatuated with fresh air, can’t stand the city,  never wants to go back there

remus: reigning champion of ‘how many objects can we put on sirius whilst he naps’, terrible prefect, cracks knuckles, bites inside of cheeks, too tall to fit under tables, sarcastic little shit, stronger than he looks, runner of the hogwarts betting pool, mastermind of pranks, never gets caught, bites nails till they bleed, sits on windowsills, probably knows the nooks and crannys of the school better than the founders, memorises lyrics accidentally, owns too many jumpers, odd socks, sleeps in class a lot, slammed crabbe’s head into a desk so hard he broke his nose in three places, drinks hot chocolate by the gallon, has a book club with lily, official group photographer, terrified of the violent anger that bubbles under his skin, doesn’t talk in class but laughs under breath, drinker of tea, hates eggs, main seller of banned substances, uncomfortable with affection, except sirius, grammar pedant, can’t swim, falls asleep whilst reading, thought he was a monster until he was fourteen, has to remind himself he’s not on a daily basis, sometimes needs someone else to do it, loves the others with his whole heart

peter: marshmallow lover, chews the end of quills, dreams in black and white, cannot tie a tie to save his life, always leaves his bag somewhere, allergic to oranges, crosses his fingers when lying, twenty twenty vision, good at history of magic, has weird memory for dates, laughs at jokes even if he doesn’t understand them, trousers always just too long, watery eyes all year round, jumps at loud noises, wants to fit in so badly, spills ink over most of his work, burns in the sun, trips down stairs a lot, keeps wand behind his ear, nearly burnt one off once, always sides with james, daydreams in lessons, gets through four cauldrons a year, only one to like liquorice wands, notes up entire arm, never has parchment, found the kitchen in his first month, sleeps through every alarm, normally late for breakfast, eats toast without butter, worries about not being brave enough, doesn’t want to be average, would rather not fight, thinks the war has enough soldiers without him, terrified of them and what they can do

Harry and Guitars

I’ve been kind of obsessed with the idea of Harry learning to play the guitar and the thought that maybe after all these years of looking like he’s been learning, perhaps he actually has and we’ll get a taste of it on his solo album! Well, a girl can dream. 

In 2011 Harry tweeted this in response to being asked if he played any musical instruments:

So…look at this 16-year old frizzy-haired muppet with his lil pink guitar pretending he knows how to play it. I love him! Don’t give up hope, Harreh!

Hmmm. Louis sure looks cute playing that guitar. Watch closely Harry…

See? Louis showed him a few chords, and let Harry take over. 

He might look like a wax figure, but he also looks pretty good holding that guitar! Bonus points for those Keds!

Um….holy shit. Indie band hotness for realz. 

Tattoos out, guitar in hand, writing songs by the lake. What more could you ask for?

What a total goober. Channeling his inner rock god. 

Here, have a few gifs so you can see how hard he’s been working!

Er…or still acting like a goober. 

Taking the guitar on the road. 

Nice to see Niall helping out his brudder, giving Hazza some guitar lessons. 

So serious. 

Well goddamn, he looks good with a bass guitar and a fedora. We even almost got a bit of nip slip there. 

I know this is a terrible photo…but come on. Harry in a snap back with a bass guitar. It’s good stuff! 

Ah…a favorite of mine. Down on the farm. Kickin it, barefoot. Playing some Kentucky Bluegrass. Or something like that. 

Same to you, H. Who’s getting that autographed guitar? How many do you actually have?

These two photos crack me up. For some reason he looks to me like he’s in a Mariachi band. On a boat. With a high ponytail. Classic. 

70′s folk musician Harry. 

Harry’s album is about to drop. April 7th is around the corner. His SNL appearance not far behind. Will he tour? Will we see him with a guitar on stage? Maybe a slow ballad? Rocking out like David Bowie? I don’t know, but goddamn it, I can’t wait. Solo artist Harry, dramatic hoe music video Harry, 1D reunited Harry, any Harry at all…I hope he’s been composing on his guitar and that we’ll get a peek of guitar playing Harry very, very soon!


Now that presales of Harry’s album have gone up, we got at least one more guitar playing Harry photo, so I’m adding it to my master post!

1980s Duran Duran bass player John Taylor vibe here (albeit with a haircut and less makeup). And if you need further proof of the connection to John Taylor, look here.

Writing is Hard, part 6: SEX

Summary: Dean and the reader have sex. Finally. FINALLY.

Read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 4250ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. And the quotes are from my own Faking It series, in case anyone was curious. Hope you enjoy! (Sorry, tag list is closed!) XOXO


“You knew he didn’t quite understand why you found it so hot, but Dean had never seen himself leaning over the engine in a tight, sweaty t-shirt, hands and forearms covered in grease as he worked.”

Dean’s outside working on the Impala, and you’re reading fics about just that. Apparently, Dean working on the Impala is the hottest thing to ever grace the fandom (aside from his lips…and his green eyes…and his cocky swagger that is really just hiding adorable and unnecessary insecurity…and Jesus, these people are thorough), and you’re curious. In your actual experience with Dean, working on the Impala is just a nuisance. You have to wait longer to get on the road, Dean takes forever to scrub himself clean afterward, and for the next few hours, everything smells like metal and oil covered up by motel soap. Why do people find that so hot?

Keep reading

tree bros hcs
- connor gives 0 shits and he’s like “move it im gay” to everyone that’s in his way and evan trails behind with his face all red apologizing to ppl for his edgy boyfriend
- connor left his sweatshirt in evans room once when they were smooching and evan panicked when he found it bc that sweatshirt is connors comfort object; it’s got worn down holes on the cuffs of the sleeves from years of connor fidgeting with it; and evan rushes to school that morning to give it to connor bc ‘holy shit what if he thinks i did it on purpose i distracted him w kisses and i stole his sweatshirt and he’ll never talk to me again’ and connor is like 'dude. buddy. keep it. i feel good knowing you have it. it’ll keep u safe when im not there. it’s chill, okay?’
- evan wears the connor sweatshirt every night to bed even if it’s hot af out bc he never ever feels safer than in that sweatshirt
- (connor honestly did freak out when he realized he left it at evans but then he thought abt evan tucked nice and snug in it and that was a more comforting thought to him than actually getting it back. so he buys a new sweatshirt for himself at hot topic and they both match)
- evan is so fucking extra he finds 56 cents in the pockets of this fucking sweatshirt and gives the loose change back to connor and connor is just like …….bruh
- they go on walks all the time it’s their favorite date activity and evan gets so PUMPED to show connor his trees and evan is like “okay GUESS WHATS COOL ABOUT THIS ONE” and connor is like “it’s….tall.”
- connor went to see evan a lot when he worked at the park as a lil ranger thing and he LOVES evans silly uniform like it’s not even hardcore embarrassing or anything, he just gets a kick out of the fact that evan gets to wear a badge for knowing Some Facts About Trees
- evan always fixes the tags sticking out of connors shirt collars
- and connor always gets defensive like “maybe i wanted it there did you ever think of that >:|” and evan gets all cute flustered
- connor is the first to say i love u and he doesn’t make it a big deal, he just kind of says it one day and evan works himself up into a Panicked State bc he wanted to say it for the longest time but was too anxious to be the first one and now the barrier is just suddenly gone and connor loves him??? and that’s just a lot to handle so obviously evans hands get sweaty
- evan proofreads all of connors essays and connor loves watching him get lost in reading them
- ONE TIME and one time only evan gets up the courage to ask connor what the heck weed is like and connor hands him a brownie like “eat this” and evan eats the brownie and wow is he calmer or? something? and he’s being just WEIRD and connor is snorting bc it was just a normal, clean Cynthia Murphy brownie. he’d never give evan weed are you kidding me
- zoe and evan play this game where they bet on how many of connors outfit pieces are from hot topic but it’s all very discreet like “wow that’s a cool chain leather jacket connor where’d you get that from” and he’ll tell them and then one of them inevitably screams
- evan braids connors hair bc it’s calming for the both of them
- they watch nature documentaries like all the time and no one knows why or how it happens. it will be the middle of the day and somehow these two are dead asleep on the couch with natgeo on the tv at full volume
- they also watch a lot of antiques roadshow but they seek it out and genuinely have a good time with it

Giving In

In which Harry and y/n are too impatient to wait until Valentines Day…

A/N: Shoutout to @stylesunchained for the title because I was seriously stumped.  Anyway, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY MY LOVELY FOLLOWERS! This is probably the filthiest thing I’ve ever written so… enjoy. 

Keep reading

It’s not that the question has been bugging him, per se.

It’s more like…. more like…

Well it’s more like the question had been driving him up the fucking wall. And it’s not like it matters- at all. But Isak should know things about Even and Even should knows things about Isak. They should know each other. Because Isak is like 99.78% sure that Even and Isak are a forever thing.

So.

“Can I ask you a question?” Isak is sitting on the counter of their kitchen as Even meticulously scrambles eggs and tosses toast in the oven.

Even hums, throwing pinches of salt in the pan as the eggs started to form, “Yeah, ‘course.”

“Am I like…” Isak thinks of how to phrase it because he’s come to learn that shit doesn’t always come out of his mouth in the most elegant of fashion. He struggles for a hot second, before remembering that this is Even- who knows his lack of censor, “So like am I your first guy?”

Even throws pepper into the egg mixture.

Isak shifts uneasily, “Even?”

He takes the eggs off the heat and dumps them on to a plate. When there was no more to do, Even moved to stand in between Isak’s legs, “What brought this on?”

“Just curious.” Isak leans forward to brush bits of hair away from Even’s face, “It’s not like it’s super important… I was only wondering.”

Even stares at him for a minutes. probably debating his answer or whatever, “There was one other boy I was interested in. Before I met you. It didn’t end well. Or- like, it never really began? He didn’t…”

#relatable, Isak thinks, and then “Gotcha.”

“I’m glad it didn’t.” Even smiles, backing away from Isak and grabbing the plate of eggs, “Because now I have you and I wouldn’t give you up for anyone.”

Aww.

“What about you? Even continues, setting the table, “I was the first boy you were interested in, right?”

Record Scratch. 

“Umm,” Fuck his pitch is a little too high to be normal, “Well…”

Even glances back at him with raised eyebrows, “Wait really? I wasn’t?”

“I mean…” 

“Huh,” Even slides a hand through his hair, like he can’t decide on being amused or put out, “Do I know him?”

“Well….”

Even narrows his eyes, “Who?”

“Jo…nas?” Isak looked around, “Maybe.”

“Jonas?” Even blinked, “Like Jonas, Jonas? Oh fuck me.”

“I’d love to,” Isak said brightly, turning around and heading for the hallway, “We just gotta-”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Even’s arms come around Isak’s waist, “Jonas Noah Vasquez, huh? Curly haired bastard.”

Isak snorts, “You adore Jonas.”

“Yeah,” Even sniffs into his hair, “He is pretty cool.”

Isak tries to hide a smile, “…and hot… very hot.”

The arms tighten and before he knows it, Even is marching him to bed, “I’ll show you very hot.”

He did.

Jewel In The Crown (M)

florist!kihyun, 15.1k, he knows what beautiful is but he’s also a bit jealous and has shitty friends

warning: smut (kihyun is a virgin, his first time, oral for both, slightly dom!kihyun i guess??)

“You look really nice by the way…Ignore that. You look beautiful. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known.”

Originally posted by wonhontology

Keep reading

Road Trip || c.h

tbfh i was writing car sex w/ cal but i deleted it bc i thought it was trash omg (i dont think this was amazingly written, pls forgive me ;[)

Warning: this is fucking l o n g. 

I M A G I N E [SMUT]

“Baby.” You heard a soft voice call to you in your head. You were sleeping soundly, until this voice kept sounding in your head. Your eyes fluttered open slowly, introducing you to the dimly lit car. The car stumbled upon a bump, allowing you to float in air for just a moment. 

Keep reading

fifth harmony in fanfiction (stereotypes)
  • camila: smol bean, clumsy af, loves bananas, innocent af (but great in bed), good with words, 1 ex-boyfriend, gay af
  • lauren: badass mf, green eyes that pierce through ur soul, whipped af, has a soft spot for "camz", even gayer
  • dinah: funny as shit, sometimes dumb, polybeatdown, captain, camila's best friend, always shouts inappropriate stuff
  • normani: sassy as hell, motherly, lauren's best friend, chicken wings, straightforward, usually messing with dinah
  • ally: jesus, bible, troy, did i mention jesus? bless you, mother, sweet sweet sunshine, allysin sometimes
  • BONUS
  • sofie: the most intelligent sweet camren shipper kid ever
  • sinu: is always watching
  • alejandro: idk but he's always an asshole
  • ariana: i love camila
  • austin: asshole, fuckboy, dorito
  • shawn: sometimes camila's gay best friend, sometimes another ex-boyfriend
  • clara: best mom ever
  • mike: best dad ever
  • chris: horny teenager but a good brother when he has to be
  • taylor: grumpy teenager or most supportive lil sis
  • keana: usually a mean bitch, but hot as fuck
  • lucy: good friend wtf, or you know, part of the love triangle
  • vero: flirts with camila, very funny and a good friend
  • alexa: gives good advice
  • luis: fuckboy
  • keaton: fuckboy
  • brad: no lips, bread, fuckboy, dumb as shit
  • dinah's siblings: omg that's a lot
  • siope: gtfo norminah is real
  • troy: sweet sweet boy
  • ANOTHER BONUS
  • car: runs over camila