he's gonna suffer with the rest of us

Tbh I always thought that the whole “I have eaten the fruit of the land of the death” excuse that Persephone gave her mother was kinda convenient so consider this:

Hades “kidnaps” Persephone, but what he’s really doing is helping his real live actual girlfriend escape the clutches of emotionally abusive/toxic mom Demeter (see “I can’t talk to my daughter for six months so I’m gonna mope and make the rest of the world suffer with me”)

Super clingy mom Demeter shows up and demands her daughter come back with her, using her own emotional stability and the fucking FATE OF THE WORLD as a guilt trip

“I would totally love to mom, but wouldn’t you know it, I ate this one pomegranate seed and as a result I’m stuck here forever so you should probs just leave and forget about me because it looks like I’m dead forev–”

Zeus shows up.

“Nah man, as king of the gods I can totes negate the effect of those pomegranate seeds, and let you go back to the real world with your mom.”

Cue frantic head shaking and silent pleads from Persephone & Hades from behind Demeter’s back for Zeus to shut the fuck up man, that is not the plan. Zeus catches on instantly.

“But only for half the year, because, uh the laws of–you know, biology or some shit?”

The goddess of flowers and the queen of hell quietly contemplates what she will plant on Zeus’s grave after she murders him.

Adrien’s Game 2.5: The Ball’s In Your Court, Nino

If you’ve read my previous posts “The Evolution of Adrien’s Game” and “The A-mew-sing Sequel”, you’ll know that:

A: I’m being forced to rest until my bronchitis is gone, so I can’t sew
B: My creativity is suffering so, therefore, I’m making crack posts
C: I have a warped sense of humor

This one’s gonna be an in-between because “Animan” is where Adrien’s game truly shines!  Unfortunately, he uses it to coach Nino into trying to get a date with Marinette.  Go with what you know, I guess.   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alternatively titled: Adrien Flirts With Marinette Through His Bestie

  • Can we all just agree that Adrien giving Nino advice on how to score with Marinette is the cutest thing ever?
  • Nino literally tells Adrien this crush came out of nowhere.
  • Adrien’s all “yeah dude, IKR?!”
  • If I were you, I wouldn’t look so smug, Junior.  
  • Phase 1 of Operation: “Clueless Dorks” uh I mean “Give Nino the Confidence to Ask Alya Out Instea–” er…you know what?  We’ll just call it Phase 1.
  • PHASE 1
  • Ask Mari out on a date.
  • No, not me.  YOU.

See how this trainwreck goes below the cut!

Keep reading

8

she gets a new crew don’t worry

I get it, Hillary wasn’t my first choice either. But if you’re a former Bernie supporter who’s planning to vote for Trump just to “get back at the system” or whatever, I think it’s pretty safe to say that you are extremely privileged, and that you don’t have the rest of us in mind. A Trump win won’t just put him in office, it’ll embolden bigots of every kind. And you won’t suffer the way women will suffer if he wins. You won’t suffer the way queer people will suffer. You won’t suffer the way anyone who isn’t white will suffer.

So if you want to vote for Trump, go for it. But know that you’re fucking the rest of us over for your party games, and if I ever see any of you DARE to claim to be an “ally” of any kind of marginalized group ever again, we’re gonna have some fuckin problems.