he's been through it a few times

New Beginning

Taking a break from Happiness Can’t Be Arranged.

Taggin @oparu because… she said something recently about wanting s6 Dragon Queen.

She’s taken aback by the sight of her, sitting cross-legged on the porch with her hand propping up her chin. A little smile twists onto Regina’s lips as her head tips to the side as she takes in Mal.

It’s been weeks–months maybe–since they’ve seen each other, yet there she is. Mal’s called a few times, but she hasn’t responded–not because she didn’t want to, but because she didn’t know what to say. While Robin was in New York, they’d had an all too brief affair–nothing too deep, more of a distraction, but meaningful, nonetheless.Then, Robin was back ands he wasn’t sure what to do–and then, he was gone and she was left grappling and struggling to even go through the motions. Having Mal around–having someone who knew her so intimately, who’d seen her at her truest worst–was just too hard, so once again she’d pushed her away.

But as always, Mal saw through her, and never stayed away for too long.

Mal lifted a bottle of wine as a smile pulled onto her lips–and Regina sighed, shaking her head as she continued up the long approach to her porch.

“I heard,” Mal coos as her bottom lip pouts out. “How are you?”

Regina’s eyebrow arches. “You heard?”

“I ran into Henry,” she explains. “He told me what happened… with you and the Queen.” Mal holds out her hand as Regina nears, and she grins as Regina pulls her up from the top step. “You okay?”

“I… am,” Regina nods. “Or I will be.”

“He told me you’ve come to terms with yourself, that you’ve come to terms with your past.” Mal gives her hand a tight squeeze. “I’m so proud of you.”

Regina nods, her breath catching in her chest. “I’m proud of me, too.”

“It’s been a long time coming,” Mal says, her eyes shifting from Regina to the bottle of wine. “And a reason to celebrate.”


Mal nods and her smile warms as she tugs gently on her hand. “New beginnings…” She pauses and Regina feels a soft tingle at her core as Mal’s eyes meet hers. “Or… something like that.”

Regina’s lip catches between her teeth and she takes a breath, holding into Mal’s hand as she climbs the porch stairs and wonders where the evening will take them.

liampayne:  My close friends and family know there are very few times when I’m left speechless… wow!
I’m incredibly happy to welcome our new baby boy into the world, it’s a moment that I will never forget for the rest of my life and my favourite memory I have so far.
I’m completely in awe of his incredible mother and how she has been the whole way through this, she’s really made my dreams come true. We haven’t named him yet but he’s already capturing hearts including mine. I feel very blessed.
Happy Mother’s Day everyone!


Name: Lance
Age: 20
Background: A commonplace cargo pilot who has been let go from numerous positions for attempting outrageous maneuvers and losing shipments. A loose cannon with big dreams and few outlets, Lance is a risk-taker who’s willing to do anything for a little excitement. So naturally he wrecks a ship and is left stranded floating through space. He’s picked up by one of Sendak’s scouts, but with some deft maneuvering and skilled fighting (He just got lucky) He managed to steal the Galran’s ship right out from under its nose. It autopilots its way back to Sendak’s destroyer, right in time for him to fall into the laps of Shiro and Keith, who are attempting an escape. But with quick thinking and aeronautical piloting prowess (He just got lucky) he rescues them both from recapture.

Lance may be reckless, but he is also brave. He is the least exciting of the bunch, the least resourceful, and the least important. Or is he?

liampayne: My close friends and family know there are very few times when I’m left speechless… wow!
I’m incredibly happy to welcome our new baby boy into the world, it’s a moment that I will never forget for the rest of my life and my favourite memory I have so far.
I’m completely in awe of his incredible mother and how she has been the whole way through this, she’s really made my dreams come true. We haven’t named him yet but he’s already capturing hearts including mine. I feel very blessed.
Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

liampayne: My close friends and family know there are very few times when I’m left speechless… wow!
I’m incredibly happy to welcome our new baby boy into the world, it’s a moment that I will never forget for the rest of my life and my favourite memory I have so far. I’m completely in awe of his incredible mother and how she has been the whole way through this, she’s really made my dreams come true. We haven’t named him yet but he’s already capturing hearts including mine. I feel very blessed.
Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

cherylofficial: On Wednesday 22nd March Liam and I became parents to an incredibly beautiful, healthy baby boy, weighing 7lb 9 and looking like a dream. Although he still doesn’t have a name he is already stealing hearts. We are all madly in love and overwhelmingly happy with our little arrival. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers around the world. A day that now has a different meaning to me forever 💙

Now There’s Your Pickup Line

Sterek, 2K, T

AU, First Kiss, New Year’s Eve

Prompted from the screenshot of that cop on Tinder with the bio: “Ever shouted Fuck the Police? Well, here’s your chance.”

Derek shut the door behind him with a sigh and sat down on the floor, stretching his legs out in front of him. He hated parties, and he was pissed that Laura had dragged him to the New Year’s Eve one she was hosting at her apartment. She did a really good guilt trip, though, so Derek was there. And now, he was curious how long it would take her to realize that he was hiding in her closet. He was hoping for at least a 20-minute break away from the endless small talk.

He pulled out his phone and swiped idly through the app screens, hovering his thumb over the little flame icon. Laura had created a Tinder account for him a few weeks ago—very much against his wishes—but he’d only been on it a couple times, and he’d never swiped right for anyone. He’d never really done the online dating thing; it just hadn’t really appealed to him. It seemed to encourage quick decisions based just on someone’s looks, and well…Derek had enough of that already.

He was bored, though, so he opened the app and immediately swiped left, wincing at the cheesy shirtless mirror shot of the first guy that popped up. Derek swiped left again, for a girl whose bio just said NO DRAMA, and then couldn’t hold in the little snort at the bio of the next guy. “Ever shouted Fuck the Police? Well, here’s your chance.

Derek’s gaze drifted up to the photo, and he swallowed hard. This guy, Stiles, what kind of name was that, was seriously attractive. He was really working the cop uniform in the first photo, all broad smile and bright eyes. Probably taken at the pride parade, if the crowd behind him and the rainbow flag were any indication.

Derek swiped through the rest of the pictures—one of him with a dog, one of him shirtless on a beach, one of him playing what looked like a pickup baseball game—and audibly exhaled. He was definitely Derek’s type, tall and lean with broad shoulders. Before he could talk himself out of it, he swiped right. The app notified him of a match, and Derek couldn’t stop the little inward preen at the thought of this guy swiping right on him, too.

He ran with this foreign streak of courage and tapped the message button.

That is the worst pick-up line I’ve ever heard.

Derek had no idea what the typical messaging etiquette was on Tinder, but Stiles replied just a minute later.

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a bunch of soft klance headcanons!!

  • so despite everyone on the team thinking keith is super in shape and healthy, keith is actually on the thin side due to forgetting/being unable to eat while living in his shack. so after the Pool Scene, lance keeps thinking about the way keith’s ribs poked through his skin and how he’s noticed keith forgetting to come to meals
  • after this, lance finds himself standing at keith’s door with an extra bowl of goo, a little sweaty with nerves because what if keith laughs at him? what if he’s making his feelings too obvious?
  • keith opens the door to see a sheepish boy standing before him, who stutters through excuses, forcibly ladens keith with food and leaves, tripping over his feet a few times as he does so
  • keith is still, a bowl in his hands and suddenly realizing that he’s been hungry for hours. and lance.. knew? lance cared? 
  • just think about keith realizing that all the things he thought were lance being obnoxious were really just hidden ways of looking after him. he’d thought the rocks lance had put in his bed were there as a prank, but lance had left them there as a gift after seeing keith picking them up on a planet they’d visited. lance shutting down the simulator while keith was training was him wanting keith to stop overexerting himself!!!
  • so keith sits on the floor with his back against the wall, fingers tight around the bowl that lance had touched, that lance had brought for him, because he cared about him…. and feels something warm and new rise in his chest
  • he doesn’t think about it for a while, as they go into battle and emerge victorious time after time, lance’s reverberating whoops loud and vibrant in his ears
  • they leave their lions after a particularly hard fight, surging with energy and life, their smiles big and their hair sweaty and tussled when they tear off their helmets
  • they find each other after exiting their hangers, and while shiro congratulates keith for keeping his head, lance bumps his shoulder with a grin. his face is warm, his eyes are glinting but soft
  • keith… keith melts
  • lance touches his hair, combing his hands through the strands with a tender look on his face
  • “your hair’s all messy,” he says, and keith feels a momentary flush pass over his face before lance is pulling him gently out of the room and down the corridor
  • “what are you doing?” keith askes as he’s lead into the bathroom. lance just smiles and says, “i wanna wash your hair.”
  • despite having lived alone for so long, and being used to relying only on himself, there’s something about lance caring for him that feels less intrusive and more… natural. soft. loving.
  • keith never knew he’d ever want something as simple as someone caring about him, completely and unselfishly, but he’s okay with that. the feeling of lance’s hands on him as he rubs behind keith’s ear with a dorky laugh and a quick joke is more than enough to free him from any doubts
  • keith doesn’t want to be a burden, but god, how he loves being loved by lance.
It’s been a year since and a half since I came to Korea and in that time I’ve met many amazing people. EXO’s Lay hyung is a representative of those people. He is a great dancer and singer, but other than thatLay hyung has his own charm that can not be explained through words. I also want to have my very own charm one day.
Preference #4: Mornings

Included in this preference is: Steve Rogers (Captain America), Bucky Barnes (The Winter Soldier), Frank Castle (The Punisher), Lucifer Morningstar, Barry Allen (The Flash), Legolas, Sherlock Holmes, and Jim Moriarty.

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Originally posted by chichangyu

  • thanks to anon’s request for bf yugyeom you guys are going to have the pleasure of reading me gradually have a mental breakdown over how much i love kim yugyeom
  • okay!! you meet yugyeom through bambam
  • u and bam have been good friends for a few years and yet??? you’ve never met yugyeom
  • like you’ve met the others, but it’s like every time you come close to finally meeting yugyeom he’s just like “gotta go!!1″
  • at first you’re like “oh i just have terrible timing i’m sure we’ll get to really talk to each other one day”
  • but no
  • it’s like he’s avoiding you like the plague and you’re not sure whether to confront the others about it cause you know they know
  • they’re too nosy to not know
  • but also in the back of your mind you’re worried you’re making too much of a fuss about it
  • in the end you go up to bam like “does yugyeom hate me or what”
  • bam is both taken aback and also smirking. you know the smirk
  • “why, what ever do you mean-” “KUNPIMOOK BHUWAKUL I SWEAR TO GOD”
  • bam refuses to disclose anything to you bc of “bro code” and you’re low(high)key offended bc i mean, here you were, thinking that you were more bam’s bro than yugyeom well exCUSE YOU
  • still, he keeps his lips shut tight for the first time in his life so you resort to the others
  • you know jb won’t say anything, he’s a good dad
  • jinyoung would spill just to spite the evil maknae but apparently yugyeom promised he’d get jinyoung a new pair of sneakers so he was a no go too
  • jackson claimed he couldn’t say anything bc it was “too precious watching you two suffer”
  • mark just laughed and walked away
  • your last resort is youngjae, and you think that maybe you can win him over by buying him meat or something but even he’s somehow sworn to secrecy
  • for weeks, you are suffering
  • you’re like so close to giving up and just accepting that yugyeom actually hates your guts and the others are too nice to say anything abt it when you get a text from bam asking you to stop by their dorm to drop off a jacket that he left at your place
  • you have a key to their place so it’s super easy to get in and you’re thinking from the way bam phrased his text to you that he was actually home to receive the jacket
  • you’re proven wrong when you enter and instead of bam and the boys it’s just.. yugy
  • he’s somewhere in the middle of yelling at the tv and climbing over the back of the couch when he realizes he’s no longer alone
  • you kind of stand dumbfounded in the doorway with bam’s jacket in hand and your eyes wide and all you can muster is a “…whatcha doin”
  • yugyeom flashes like twenty shades of red and slowly sits back down on the couch like a normal person before he points at the paused scene on the tv, “i’m watching a really frustrating drama”
  • when you look over at the tv, you immediately recognize it and drop bam’s jacket without a second thought, barreling toward the couch to plop next to yugyeom and you miss the look of surprise and terror that crosses his face as you just start fan girling
  • “when did the new episode drop??” “did he kiss her yet?” “I honestly can’t stand this second lead you know” “can you believe it’s taken them ten episodes to even mention they have feelings for each other?”
  • yugyeom is both nervous and really kind of glad you like this drama as much as him but he was really hoping that you wouldn’t catch him, in all places, like this
  • but then you give him a small, reassuring smile and motion at the tv “go on, play it”
  • needlesss to say, bambam is the only one not surprised when the others come home to see you and yugyeom standing up on the couch, yelling nonsense over bottles of soju as the main lead misses his chance to confess again
  • suddenly, it’s like the avoiding you thing had never happened
  • instead of yugyeom bolting out of the door as soon as you come over, he’s sticking around, asking you how your day is, if you’ve eaten yet, if you wanna catch a movie later with him and youngjae
  • you two bond over your similar love in dramas and music and soon enough yugyeom and you aren’t even hanging at the dorm with the others anymore
  • yugyeom is picking you up at your place and taking you for long drives, to this bbq place he likes, to playgrounds to act like the grown little kids you are
  • it’s in the middle of one of your drama marathons that yugyeom works up the urge to kiss you for the first time
  • you’re kinda just curled up beside him, your head laying against his shoulder, and the main couple on the screen are kissing and yugyeom tenses but you don’t even notice
  • you just let out this lovey sigh like “i wish someone would kiss me like that”
  • you’re dropping hints ok
  • like the amount of times you’ve said something like that while you two watched your dramas together
  • the boy stupit okay
  • since the boys are out for the night, it’s the perfect chance, yugyeom thinks
  • but he’s still so nervous bc?? what if you got angry and rejected him and never talked to him or bam again? bam would kill him. yugyeom would kill himself before bam even had a chance
  • bouncing between actually doing it or just leaving your relationship how it was plagues him constantly, to the point where he can’t sleep without thinking of the “what if’s”
  • “o-oh yeah? im sure someone will one day” yugyeom tries to reassure you with a lame excuse
  • and like, you’ve had it
  • “god damn it kim yugyeom! do i have to spell this out for you?!” yugyeom blinks back at your outburst, his brows furrowed
  • he wants to ask why you’re yelling but you’re clearly not finished
  • “i have been dropping hints that i want to kiss you for god knows how long and you always sit back and say the same thing every time and i’m honestly at my wit’s end with you bc i can’t tell if you really don’t notice how i feel or if you really don’t care but-”
  • and. yeah. yugyeom has seen enough dramas to know what he’s supposed to do now
  • his lips find yours clumsily but it silences you immediately, and you let out a soft moan of approval before he peels back, lips shining with your spit as he tentatively touches over his mouth for a moment, then looks up at you bashfully like “did I do that right?”
  • turns out the reason he always ran away from you whenever you were around was bc he was crushing incredibly hard on you and all the boys knew it
  • instead of the boys coming home to you and yugyeom screaming at the tv they come home to you two making out on the couch and you can’t tell if jackson’s cheers or jaebum’s horrified screams are louder
  • so i’ve touched heavily on the fact that yugyeom loves dramas but i dont think I’ve made my point??
  • if he binges a show and likes a certain character he becomes that character
  • you were so close to strangling him that time he watched moon lovers and went around talking like wang so for a week
  • also always somehow twenty steps ahead of you with every drama
  • he walks by you starting a new drama and just snorts like “finally you’re watching it? took you long enough”
  • he’s seen every drama in existence
  • gets very emotionally involved to the point where he calls you crying in the middle of the night and you think something is legitimately wrong but he’s just like “he died!!! they killed him! i’m boycotting this show”
  • you let him cry it out tho cause same
  • also, boy is perpetually somewhere between romantic and awkward
  • sometimes he can really make you swoon but he’s such a sweetheart like five minutes later he’s spilling his drink down his shirt or something
  • whenever he sees you wearing any piece of his clothing he just smiles to himself and elects to take a thousand pictures of you in it
  • “yugyeom it’s just a hat” “i know but it’s my hat!! how cute is this??? youngjae come look at this-”
  • bambam gets kinda jealous when he finds out you’re more interested in yugy than him these days
  • like one day you come over to the dorm and he’s like “hey!!” and you’re like “heyyyy where’s yugyeom”
  • from that day on he just seethes in a corner as you ignore him for the maknae
  • sometimes you catch him and he’s so bitter when you ask him what’s up
  • “why don’t you ask yugyeom what’s up? since you love him so much”
  • he’s even the same way with yugyeom it’s like he wants to spend time with the both of you but like. not at the same time
  • probably third wheels too
  • he’s not sure if he’s grieving more over you or yugy
  • jackson is your number one fan by the way
  • you can not look at yugyeom for 0.000001 seconds without jackson claiming how in love you both are
  • he even manages to embarrass you both further by taking really silly pictures of the both of you and threatening to post it on instagram
  • “i love love, okay” sure jackson
  • there’s never a dull moment with yugyeom tbh
  • even when yall are just laying in silence its so nice with him
  • sometimes you absentmindedly groom him
  • you fix his hair, wipe things from his mouth, kiss his cute lil cheeks and scold him about eating better
  • he acts like he doesn’t like it but he really really does
  • if he “complains” and you pull your hand from his hair he’ll catch your wrist and put it back where it was with a pout “i didn’t say stop tho..”
  • he attempts to teach you how to dance like him but… that’s not happenin 
  • he does like this really cool move and then tells you to copy him and like you can’t help but laugh bc sure thing lmao
  • always dancin by the way
  • you’re standing in line? hes dancing
  • you’re brushing your teeth? dancing
  • you’re making dinner? dance
  • he’s such a wonderful bf tho like he’s bashful and sometimes he doesn’t always say how he feels right off the bat bc he’s not used to being open with his feelings like that but it only adds to how much you love him
  • he’ll look over at you when you’re both dozing off and just smile
  • he’s overflowing with the #fond
  • “you know, I wouldn’t mind if we stayed like this forever. got married and had kids and just lived our lives happy, you know? i just want to live my life happy. with you.”

other boyfriend!got7:

college boyfriend!mark


The Mark of Oxin

Wow look at me actually writing something new

So this is just a little ficlet inspired by their new video (Dan and Phil playing the first chapter of the game Phil made when he was 14, The Mark of Oxin) 

Genre- Fluff, fluff, and more fluff

Word Count- 471 (ew that’s so short i’m sorry)


Phil sat in his room playing the RPG he made for the first time. He was extremely proud of himself for putting together something so long and brilliant. He played through it as fast as he could, and within a few hours he reached the part he really wanted to see: the end. 

About halfway through the game, after the main characters, Alex and Emily, had been reunited, they started dating. At the end, the duo defeated the final boss (with a bit of help from Phil) and Phil started playing the cutscene, grinning ear to ear. 

Alex- ________, will you marry me?

Emily- Of course I will! 

The two then got married and lived happily ever after. Phil titled the game “The Mark of Oxin” and closed his laptop with a smile on his face. He would see this game one more time. 

Early 2017-

Phil sat on his checkered duvet with his laptop. He had a game for Dan and him to play on the gaming channel. He just had to add a tiny bit of code…

Late 2017-

“Phil, come on! We have to film this gaming video!” 

“Hold on!” Phil opened his bedside drawer and pulled out a small box, which he shoved in his pocket before sitting down beside Dan in their office. 

Dan pushed play on their camera and Phil started his usual bit. “Hello DanAndPhilGames rings!”

“Rings?” Dan was curious.

“You’ll see.” Phil winked and poked his tongue out of his mouth, grinning. 

Dan rolled his eyes and they started gaming. 

Phil sat anxiously as Dan played through the final chapter of The Mark of Oxin until he finally reached the boss battle. Phil’s stomach was doing flips when Dan beat the final boss and the newly-coded cutscene began. Since Dan had been reading Alex’s lines since the beginning, he read the first line. 

“Dan, will you marry me?” Phil was smiling at his boyfriend, his stomach now in knots. He gripped the small box in his pocket. “Phil… Why does it say Dan? Her name is Emily…” 

“Yes, but your name is Dan.” Phil took out the box and opened it towards Dan, revealing a shiny gold ring. 

Dan started to tear up, and he choked out a soft, “Of course I will, you spork!” before collapsing into Phil’s arms, both of them beaming. Phil slipped the ring onto Dan’s finger and smiled at the camera. 

“Dan, do you think we should finish the game?” Dan nodded and Phil read Emily’s line. “Of course I will!” The two watched lovingly as Alex and Emily got married, unable to think about anything but their own future wedding.

Dan smiled up at Phil and Phil smiled softly back at him. “Phil?” 


“Do you want to edit that out?” 

“No. Do you?”



Needy Puppy

Originally posted by girlmeetsyoongismixtape

Genre: Smut

By: Admin Bean


Notes: Dog hybrid Au, mentions of heats, bondage, 

Words: 2,946

Summary: Your hybrid dog boyfriend is at your house when his heat starts unexpectedly, a few of the boys come to help restrain him and leave you two alone so you decide to help him out~

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Better With You

Summary: Justin has some revelations about you while on tour.

Warnings: like one cuss word, making out, light smut 

Word Count: 1364

A/N: See I told ya’ll I’d get something with Justin posted (: Let me know what you think!(:

Originally posted by princebiebers

Justin ran his fingers through his hair slightly grasping onto the strands pulling lightly on them. He was beyond bored and frustration was soon ebbing it’s way through him. He had gotten done with rehearsals over an hour and a half ago and he had nothing to do until it was time to perform. Unfortunately for him that meant five hours of waiting around, trying to entertain himself. He knows his boredom has everything to do with the fact that Y/N had just left to go back to filming her movie and she was no longer around.

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“You and I loved each other multiple times on Earth.“

This is an entry I previously submitted to #AminoOTP Contest. I’ve been thinking about Seven’s reset theory and it is freaking depressing. I haven’t gone through all the routes yet. Whenever Seven accidentally calls in when I am on other routes, I always wonder is that because he knows MC and the game have been reset for a few times, but still he hopes he could recall their memories by doing so. He is willing to take care and protect MC like a guardian angel, even though he knows he is again not the chosen one, and he is the only one in the world who knows all the pains and memories.

Now I am on Day 1 of Seven’s route and I know I am not ready ; _______ ; 

How Can You Swallow So Much Sleep?

Rating: T

Pairing: Farkle Minkus/Riley Matthews

Summary: It’s the first time that Farkle starts to question his scientific beliefs, because he swears there’s another Sun in the universe and right now, it’s in the middle of Greenwich Village, lying across his chest. // Or a few glimpses at Farkle and Riley, and how sometimes the best way to get through things is simply just by being together.

Word Count: 2072

A/N: Long time no see! I’ve been super consumed with school, the election, design, work, and various other things. It felt good to finally finish this piece. I started it in October when I was really having a difficult time and finally was able to finish it today.  Leave your thoughts here.

Warnings: Some hints of anxiety. 

It starts in her room at 1 am on a Thursday morning. The moon is full and its hanging low across the NYC skyline. He climbs up her fire escape and gently tugs up her window, climbing through. He knows it’s unsafe for her to leave her window unlocked, so he makes sure to lock it, before approaching the edge of her bed.

She’s usually a heavy sleeper, so that’s why he’s so surprised when her eyes flutter open. She blinks multiple times, before finally stretching and letting out a long yawn. She’s clutching her blanket close to her chest and he’s suddenly aware of the draft in her room. 

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I was just thinking about the first time Jack mentions Bitty in one of his acceptance speeches. It’s been a short while after they’ve came out to the world about their relationship as well as Jack’s sexuality and it’s been a slippery road. There have been many supportive fans as well as people who aren’t all the supportive at all. But they have the help of their friends and families so it makes the journey a whole lot easier when there are people that they can now talk besides each other. 

Jack has done quite a few acceptance speeches but he’s never been able to mention Bitty in them by name. He’s always managed to place Bitty there through the words such as ‘my lover’ or ‘my sweetheart’ but has never been able to say, ‘my wonderful boyfriend, Eric Bittle’ and it has been aching him for such a long time. That people don’t know that Bitty, his little ray of sunshine and everything that is good, has been the one to help, support and love him unconditionally throughout everything that they have been through together. 

So that he can, he isn’t going to hold back and he doesn’t show Bitty his speech like he usually does. He wants it to be a surprise because that is how much it matters. It matters so much, it means everything. 

The moment his name is called, he walks onto the stage and waits for the applause to die down until he begins to speak. He thanks  the wonderful support of his family and his friends, the strong bond that he’s formed with his team and how they’ve been with him, never letting him down and always willing to help him when he falls, how they’re a family of their own. He thanks his manager and everyone who has helped him made this far. 

His eyes then focus on Bitty whose seated next to his empty seat, smiling widely as he watches him on the stage. 

Jack then goes:

“I also want to thank Eric Bittle.”

Bitty’s smile slips from his face as his eyes widen ever so slightly. 

“My incredible and beautiful boyfriend who has been with me every step of the way. Who has always been by my side and has never given up on me. Who has always held my hand when times were so rough. Who makes me happy everyday and makes life so worthwhile and so worth living.”

Bitty’s shoulders begin to shake as he glances down so no one can see that he’s trying not to cry. Alicia, who is seated next to him, comfortingly takes hold of his hand as Bitty continues to tremble because he never expected this at all, sniffling as he finds himself clutching at Alicia’s hand. 

Once they get home that evening, Bitty is immediately in Jack’s arms and softly crying into his shirt. Jack holds him close as he closes his eyes, savoring the familiar feel of Bitty in his arms and finds himself trying to hold back his own tears. 

It may not have been seen as a huge thing to many people but them, it meant so much. This was a way of confirming that their relationship was out there and that they didn’t have to hide anymore. Bitty was no longer hidden and is known as being such an important part of Jack’s life. 

It was a freedom that was sweet and that felt incredible. 

It was freedom. 

“I wish you’d never retire.”

And why that line hurts.

I didn’t realize it before. But this scene was actually very painful. Contrary to what other fans say that this scene is romantic and that those tears are happy tears. Here is why I think it’s not.

After the Free Skate Program, Yuuri went out in the snow and thought about his future, and decided on this:

It wasn’t the first time Yuuri thought about it. He has been sure Victor won’t stay with him for good since Episode 2. So when he vocalized it in Episode 9 (through a voice-over), Yuuri was finally firm on this decision but he doesn’t have the guts to tell Victor yet.

He decided to keep it to himself. However, he also hasn’t let Victor in another decision he’s made: his retirement. Which is what I think he is about to say in that scene above, before Yurio cut him off with a flying kick.

We may have not realized it, but Yuuri has been sure when he will retire since Hasetsu on Ice.

This is his last season. In a few months time, Yuuri will retire from competitive figure skating.

So when he came back to Japan and reunited with Victor at the airport, what Yuuri really meant when he said this:

Was “Please be my coach until the Grand Prix Final ends!” Which (I’m sorry if I’m mistaken), only a couple of months forward or so.

However, this was mistranslated. We all know that.

And that’s the sad part. Yuuri, here, was in fact asking Victor something much deeper than that. What he really asked him was, “Please take care of me until I retire.” Which, as you may all know by now, is the Japanese way of asking one’s hand for marriage, or generally, to belong to one another exclusively.

Yuuri here was asking Victor to be whatever he is right now to Yuuri, ONLY until the end of the Grand Prix Final. After that, he’ll let Victor go.

Here was a man ready to return Victor to the world even if it hurts.

That’s how Yuuri looked like before he asked that mistranslated plea. Face scrunched up by both pain and determination. That’s the face you make when upon finally making this decision, you also realize you only have two months or so left to be with the person you want to hold onto the most. And that hurt.

And here was how Victor responded:

Victor was all of us. He didn’t catch everything that Yuuri meant. Because it sounded “almost like a marriage proposal.” We were all too happy that we failed to take into consideration the deadline… the end… that Yuuri has set.

Yuuri, on the other hand, was contented with Victor’s answer. He has finally made peace with the fact that he can’t have Victor for himself forever.

Until Victor said this:

With this one sentence, Victor expressed his commitment to Yuuri. He wants to be together forever which shocked Yuuri.

But Yuuri…

… can’t give Victor that. For Yuuri was convinced he stole Victor from his life on the ice, from the world. That he is holding him back and he is not worth all the sacrifices Victor has made.

So Victor saying “I wish you’d never retire.” goes against what Yuuri has already decided on: an impending separation. It wasn’t that Yuuri wanted it. It is a sacrifice he has to make. And Victor saying this line only makes it harder. Because Yuuri knows that just can’t be. Hence, the tears.

And it hurt more because Yuuri is the only one who knows it. He, alone, carries the pain.

“I wish you’d never retire.”

It makes letting go, “ending this”, hurt more.

Note: I’m sorry if I made you feel miserable. This is just my personal realization after I watched the episodes for the nth time. I won’t claim anything. I cried myself to sleep upon realizing this and didn’t go to work the next day. I felt miserable. But if it helps, I also realized another thing. 

Yuuri’s decision became firmer in Episode 11. He wanted to nail Victor’s signature jump so badly because this is the last time he will be able to show him. And when he failed, he crumbled.  Then later on he saw how Victor reacted to other skaters, looking like he wants to go back on the ice and reclaim his throne.

But all that pushed Yuuri to finally tell Victor. It urged him to open up to him, and tell him about his doubts, fears and other insecurities, not only on the ice, but with their relationship. Yuuri, though unintentionally, will fix this miscommunication.

I haven’t thought much about it yet because I still don’t want to replay Episode 11. It still hurts. But I can only see one way this will end.

Victor will accept Yuuri’s wish to stop being his coach, and Yuuri will retire. But just that. Victor will insist that whatever they have between them will remain. VICTOR WON’T LET YUURI GO JUST LIKE THAT. They will get married whatever the results of the GPF will be, and Victor will prove that Yuuri was wrong. He won’t go back to the ice. Because to Victor, home, no, his entire world now, is Yuuri. 

walk of shame

Yuuri woke up with a pounding headache. He got out of bed and stumbled towards the bathroom door without opening his eyes more than a crack. The sunlight pouring through the hotel window hurt. In the bathroom he collapsed with his arms folded on the toilet seat and dry heaved a few times, but didn’t actually vomit. That was a relief, really; otherwise it would have been twice in three days. He’d vomited from nerves before his free skate.

“Ugh,” he whispered to the toilet, which did not seem to sympathise. Yuuri had no one but himself to blame. He’d probably drunk quite a lot at the banquet? If he couldn’t remember anything, he’d drunk a lot. Yuuri’s tolerance was normally pretty strong. It had to be, because Coach Celestino’s was terrible, and someone had to keep an eye on Phichit.

Well, fingers crossed that Yuuri hadn’t offended any sponsors: though if he had, maybe it didn’t matter, because his skating career was probably over.

Well done Yuuri! he thought miserably.

If it had been over a few weeks sooner he could have gone home and seen Vicchan before the end. Yuuri had spent all that time and all that effort getting to the Grand Prix final only to fail, and fail horribly, in front of his idol. Why hadn’t he just failed sooner? Less waste, less heartache. He should have given up to start with. Then he wouldn’t be here with his head on a toilet seat.

After a few minutes of thinking about that Yuuri realised that if he stayed where he was he was going to get a crying headache on top of a hangover headache, and also that there was only so long you could sit on the floor being sorry for yourself in the brilliant morning sunlight before you started to feel silly. With a great effort he got to his feet and put himself in the shower.

He came out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, scrubbing at his hair and trying to remember where he’d left his glasses. Oh, there, beside the bed. Yuuri was good at identifying glasses-shaped blurs. He wrapped his towel around his waist and put them on.

At exactly that moment the person in his bed sat up, stretched luxuriously, and said, “Good morning, Yuuri!”

“Wh-wh-wh-” said Yuuri.

Victor smiled sunnily at him. He was shirtless - very shirtless! - and his hair was mussed. “You look cute in glasses!” he said. His gaze flicked down to take in Yuuri’s towel, and Yuuri’s dripping wet total lack of anything apart from the towel. His smile got bigger.

Yuuri gave a small shriek and grabbed the nearest bedsheet. He held it frantically against his chest like it would protect him. “Victor?” he said. “Wh - why are you here?”

Victor blinked at him. “You asked me to stay,” he said.

Oh no. Oh no, Yuuri had been very drunk.

“Don’t you remember?” said Victor. “When we got back? You said, Stay, Victor.” He took in Yuuri’s expression and said, “Of course we didn’t have sex!” which made Yuuri feel like all the breath had been taken out of his body. Victor, apparently feeling helpful, explained, “You were too drunk.” Then he winked. “But the day is young!”

viridescent skies - 1

inspired by the prompt/response made here (x); Ageswap au, where Anakin is Qui-Gon’s former padawan and Obi-Wan is the shiny new kid on the block.
part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part 6a - 6b |

Anakin has barely turned his report into the Council, survived the follow-up interrogation they’d given him - which he’d gritted his teeth through, painfully polite, though he’d expected no less from them - and gotten a few hours of sleep in when he finds out that while he was gone, his Master has gone and gotten himself a new padawan.

Okay, his old Master. His former Master. Anakin has been a knight for over a year now, and granted, much of that year was spent on a rather infuriating mission protecting a headstrong Duchess - but Anakin has not been a padawan in a while, and indeed, had successfully kept the Duchess alive the entire time by himself. So. Former Master. He no longer requires a minder.

He still sees the tiny person trotting after Master Qui-Gon toward the mess hall and feels a moment of indignant attachment. Not the clean white initiate tunics, ill-fitting in their ‘one-size fits most’ manner, but tunic and breeches and boots meant to be the first charges of a Force-sensitive on the path to becoming a Jedi.

“What’s this,” Anakin says, coming upon Qui-Gon and staring down at the thing currently occupying the spot at Qui-Gon’s side that by all rights should be his. It looks up at him with wide eyes under the bristling Padawan cut, the smallest braid hanging over its shoulder.

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