he's been doing such great work

Sometimes the customer is wrong for unrelated reasons.

Due to the well of my friends’ “def not an axe murderer” date recommendations drying up, I have turned to that most sacred of modern relationship institutions: online dating. As a very busy person trying to get it in with other very busy people, I prize honestly and directness above all else when it comes to profile creation. I include full body shots in my photos, try to minimize the use of MySpace angles in selfies, and write at the very top of the summary/caption/profile that I am fat. Not “curvy,” not “thick,” not “lots to love”–I’m f*cking fat. I’m not ashamed of it, but I also known that weight is a dealbreaker for lots of people. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

About a year ago I met “Evan” via Tinder. We exchanged friendly messages for a few hours one night and agreed to meet up for drinks the following evening. I waited for a full hour past the designated time, and just as I was getting up to leave, the texts started rolling in.

“I can see you sweating from here.” “How long does it take you to roll out of bed every morning?” “Is there an earthquake or are you just getting up for more pretzels?”

Really idiotic, juvenile shit. Four separate numbers, commenting on things like my clothes, which clued me in that the senders were nearby. This went on for 15 minutes before I finally saw Evan, trying to hide in at a corner table and giggling with a group of buddies. I made eye contact, saw that he saw me, and then walked out. The texts kept up until I blocked the numbers a few hours later.

I ran into Evan about 3 weeks later. We got on the same elevator, and he tried really hard at being super interested in the emergency phone instructions. I just confronted him, and he admitted it was just some “game” that him and his friends play. He knew I was fat before agreeing to meet up; they all did, because that’s what they do. Match up with fat women, then either ghost them or “troll” them at the meet-up. It was also kinda obvious he’d never seen any consequences from this bullshit, as he was sweating pretty hard and looked more humiliated than I felt. I just said whatever and walked out, expecting to never see him again.

About a month ago, some local foodie wrote a great review of the restaurant I own, and we’ve been slammed ever since. In the past, I stayed mostly in the kitchen, but I’ve been doing more and more front-of-house stuff lately, and Valentine’s Day I was working a bit of a split between the two.

I saw Evan just as he was pushing in his date’s chair. My name isn’t on the restaurant, and he didn’t see me. I checked the section up at the hostess stand and saw that one of my favorite old-timers, Nan, was going to be his waitress. I went to the bar till, took out $400, put it in her hands, and said, “This is going to be your only table for the rest of the night. You are going to make this the worst date he has ever been on.”

She spilled every single thing she brought out to the table, all over him. I was waiting for him to blow up on Nan, but he bottled it up, obviously trying to make a good impression on his date. She seemed like a perfectly lovely lady; I told Nan to make sure everything was good for her and terrible for Evan.

She poured ice water on his d*ck. She smacked the back of his head with the edge of a tray. Spilled soup on his shirt. Dropped every fork he asked for. I personally oversalted his food, used the shit liquor for his drinks, used flour instead of sugar on his dessert. To be honest, I don’t know why he didn’t just walk out. He must have really wanted to f*ck this woman.

Finally, he cracked. Demanded Nan find the manager and bring her out. I was only too happy to emerge from the kitchen with my chef’s coat and say what, I’m not ashamed to admit, I’d been planning out all night.

“I would have said hi earlier, but I didn’t want the earthquake to disturb your dinner.”

I will savor the look on Evan’s face for the rest of my life.

He was a little too flummoxed to explain, so I pulled a chair up to the table and introduced myself to his date, Amanda. Told her how I met Evan. Showed her some fun old messages. Then I told gave her a voucher for a free meal on her next visit and told Evan to get the f*ck out and never come back.

He deleted his Tinder profile.

Hot Off The Press

Another AU where Jacky-Boy is a hockey player and Bitty has a job that involves hockey bc that’s my aesthetic. Anyway, I really know nothing about how the world of sports journalism works so there is probably some inaccuracies in here, but it’s an AU so who cares. Artistic license and all that. Very slightly NSFW (i just wanted to get all the warnings out there). 

***

“Are you into men?”

Jack has been asked this question before, but in such a subtle way (and typically involving Parson) that it’s easy to avoid. No reporter has ever straight out asked him. Besides, he’s not gay. He’s bisexual. So when Jack usually tells them, “No.” it’s not a lie. However, this time it feels different. Maybe it wasn’t just this particular time, but all the times added onto each other that’s finally causing him to really think about what hole he’s digging himself into.

The blunt question has him feeling panicky and the other presser notice his reaction too. Jack can’t say no, because that’s not true. He is into men. Jack’s panic quickly shifts, and now he just feels like shoving the microphones away and storming out, because this is hockey goddammit. Not E! news.

“Excuse me?” Jack clears his throat, trying to buy himself some time to think of a properly crafted response. Over the years, he’s developed a talent for that.

But everything is on overdrive and he feels his breath start to quicken again–

“Are you into men?” Another reporter asks, and it takes Jack a moment to realize that the reporter isn’t asking him. He’s asking the man who popped the question in the first place.

 All attention, including Jack’s, turns to the small blonde that got lost in the bundle of people. He holds up his mic towards the reporter who popped the question in the first place. 

Keep reading

Here is a list of things that I am including in this book. Please send me my seven-figure advance.

• affluent family lives in suburb. The husband (who is a professor but also a novelist) is cheating on his wife, but he thinks it falls into a moral gray area because he is a Great Man

• they expected that their lives would be different than they are, and this makes them snap at each other with words that cut deep and carry a history, which they did not used to do when they were young and in love and the world held out its hand to them and said “COME!”

• wry aside

• several paragraphs to show that the author has read Proust or Kierkegaard

• much younger student somehow really wants to sleep with this professor novelist guy. That’s cool, great, she is the aggressor in this scenario

• sex scene containing one bizarre detail that makes you worry a little bit about the author, not in a judgy way, just in a does-he-actually-think-this-is-how-that-works?-how-has-he-been-married-for-six-years? way

a thing i’m thinking about today:

harry potter, aged 23, visiting teddy and andromeda for his normal weekly cup of tea and w/e, and andromeda is in the kitchen and teddy’s run upstairs to fetch harry the latest game he’s obsessed with, and harry notices a leatherbound photo album half-sticking out of the bookshelf in the living room that he’s never seen before, and sort of idly takes it down, and it’s full of photos of the malfoys

photos of narcissa: standing stiffly next to andromeda, the two of them not touching, looking very dubious, and teddy’s ruffled head in the bottom left corner of the picture as he tries uselessly to leap up and wave; sitting very still in a high-backed armchair looking quietly pleased and possessive with teddy six months old and asleep in the crook of her arm; frowning intensely as she pushes rune cards towards a blithely chattering 3 year old teddy.

but most of the photos are of draco. draco asleep on the sofa with teddy curled up and asleep on his chest – there are deep grey circles under draco’s eyes and he’s waxy pale with exhaustion even in sleep, and teddy can’t be more than a couple of months old. draco looking horrified and holding a squirming pudgy teddy at arms length as teddy gleefully spits up what looks like some of his first solids on draco’s crisp white shirt. draco reading a copy of the daily prophet with a 2001 date while teddy crawls up over his back and hangs off around draco’s neck and blows spitballs in his ear. draco and teddy posed solemnly in andromeda’s back garden, draco straddling a broom, teddy next to him and almost beside himself with excitement on the toy broom harry got him for his fourth birthday. draco and teddy playing exploding snap. draco walking in a park next to andromeda with a fast asleep four year old teddy scooped up easily in his arms, snoring on his shoulder. draco in dark jeans and a soft, worn thin looking t-shirt laughing up at the camera while teddy advances on him with hands covered in brightly coloured paint.

harry had no idea narcissa and andromeda were in touch, let alone draco. when he hears teddy thundering back downstairs, he quietly closes the book and replaces it in the cupboard. it doesn’t have to mean anything. he testified at both of the malfoys’ trials. he doesn’t care about them anymore. he’s not even angry.

only that monday at the ministry, when he’s heading for auror hq, draco malfoy wanders past in his buttoned up formal robes clasped tight around his neck, frowning and haughty as ever over a file, shooting harry a swift venomous look as is his habit, and harry’s heart suddenly kicks into high gear.

Harry's interview on Quotidien
  • I: Can you hear me?
  • H: Yes
  • I: Welcome to Paris!
  • H: Thank you
  • I: How are you? Can you answer in French?
  • H: Good! A little bit. A tiny bit. Très bien et toi ?(very good and you?)
  • I: Very good, thank you. We start our interviews with “can you give us your five favourites words in English or French. Or a French sentence”. Someone told me you knew a French sentence.
  • H: Comment vous faites un café si délicieux? (How do you make such a delicious coffee?)
  • I: OK, that’s good.
  • H: That’s all I have.
  • I: Do you say it very often?
  • H: No... Yes
  • I: What does France mean to you? Is it something, someone etc...?
  • H: Best people I’ve known... I think her, *shows a fan* I guess. Fabien Barthez.
  • I: Yes, Fabien Barthez. Harry, you’re 23 years old and you’re one of the best known pop-star in the world. Everybody has expectations with your new album and single Sign Of The Times. Why did you choose that song? This is not what people were expecting.
  • H: I think I wanted to.. I've always liked music that made me feel something. You know I think writing it I could feet something I wanted to bring it out. I think it's a good indicator for me of what the album is to me. That's why I wanted to go with that first.
  • I: Billboard wrote that the single was "one of the more ambitious opening statements in pop this decade". Not bad, isn't it?
  • H: Thanks!
  • I: Do you have friends working at Billboard?
  • H: I don't know anyone at Billboard.
  • I: When we listen to the song we think of David Bowie, Queen, who else did you think of?
  • H: I mean, I think everyone, anything, any song you've ever listened to growing up or throughout your life or you've enjoyed, inspired you. There are a lot of different things. I wanted to just write and see what came out. I didn't know what I sounded like to make an album. So this process was as interesting for me as I think it will be for people listening to the album for the first time.
  • I: Do you know French singers other than Serge Gainsbourg? That's a tricky question.
  • H: I know Woodkid. He directed my music video.
  • I: Why him?
  • H: I think his videos are amazing, he's a really talented guy and I love French people so I worked with him.
  • I: When you're in Spain, do you say that you love Spanish people?
  • H: No!
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy...
  • H: Great tie.
  • I: You think so? It's French.
  • H: It's not a Spanish tie, isn't it?
  • I: Can I see your loafer? Oh yes! What is the brand? That's not French, isn't it? It's Italian.
  • H: No.
  • I: That's from the European Union!
  • H: Probably yeah.
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy for you, is it true?
  • H: Was what simple?
  • I: Your life, everybody wants a life like yours, with One Direction...
  • H: I mean, I feel very lucky to be able to make music, I feel very lucky to be able to make this, I feel very lucky today being in France and performing my song. I love this song. I can't complain.
  • I: What were the unpleasant things?
  • H: *thinking*
  • I: I don't know, say only one thing.
  • H: I think when you care so much about something, it's hard to get to the point where you feel like it's finished and it feels like you're adding and it never ends and it adds up. So I think the hardest part was getting into that point and be like "ok that's finished."
  • I: You said to the Rolling Stone magazine that most of the album was inspired by a woman. Really?
  • H: No I think, honestly, the album is much more about me than it is about anyone else. I think if I said the album is about a woman it kind of feels like, I don't know, I put a lot of work into this. I don't feel like it revolves around woman. It's a lot about me and things I've never said before. It's more about me.
  • I: How did you start with a boy band and end with a solo career? Is it complicated?
  • H: It's been a lot of fun. You know we were very lucky to get to do some amazing things and at the moment in our lives, we're in a time where everyone is trying their own thing and have a good time. It's been amazing to see everyone doing their own thing as well. If I can do as well as the others, it'd be amazing.
  • I: Do you call them everyday or text them? Do you use What's app?
  • H: I don't have that.
  • I: Why?
  • H: Yes we talk, absolutely. And everyone is bringing stuff out. It's been a lot going on. It's been a good time.
  • I: This is the album cover! Can you describe it? Why did you choose this picture?
  • H: Yeah. So, I don't know. I worked with photographer Harley Weir, I'm a massive fan of her work. And that's amazing and I was lucky enough to work with her. I felt like this was what I wanted.
  • I: Why is it pink? Why the water? Why your back? Why? It's beautiful but why is it pink?
  • H: I don't know, man!
  • I: Really? You don't know?
  • H: I don't know. I don't think I want...
  • I: Apparently pink is Rock'n'roll's colour.
  • H: Apparently so. I don't know. I think it means something to me and if it means anything to anyone else, I wouldn't want to take away from that by explaining it. I think the cool thing about stuff like photos and art is you can just leave it. You don't have to explain it.
  • I: Everybody sees what they want to see.
  • H: Yes exactly.
  • I: Have you seen this?
  • *video of people reacting to Harry's single*
  • I: Your fans record themselves while listening to the song for the first time. You can hear relevant analysis and apparently they all really liked it. Do you read what people say about you on social media? On Youtube, Twitter, Instagram? Do you use Instagram?
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit.
  • *The public disagrees with Harry*
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit. I mean I wish everyone was having as good time as the girl who was like that with her hands. That's what I do when I listen to the song.
  • I: Are you the one using your Instagram? Do you use your own fingers or someone else does it for you?
  • H: Yes, I do mine.
  • I: Do you still vote in Redditch?
  • H: In?
  • I: Redditch!
  • H: That's where I was born?
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I don't live in Redditch.
  • I: So you don't vote there. Where did you vote?
  • H: London, yeah.
  • I: What do you think of the Brexit? Welcome to Europe!
  • H: Thank you very much, thanks. I mean, I don't really comment on politics. To me, anything that brings people together is better than things that pull people apart. That's ... yeah.
  • I: Yet, you are in favour of equality of rights, men, women, gay people, straight people... That's politics.
  • H: I don't know. It doesn't feel like politics. I think stuff like equality feels much more fundamental. I feel like everyone is equal. That doesn't feel like politics to me.
  • I: Your fans are fetishists. They know all of your tattoos, piece of jewellery, they have heart attacks when you cut your hair. Right now you're playing with their feelings. Do you know that?
  • H: Oh ok.
  • I: Yes! What is your favourite tattoo?
  • H: I think... I have a.. probably. I don't know, actually.
  • I: Which one is the latest?
  • H: The latest is this one there. *shows Arlo* And this one. *shows Jackson*
  • I: Jackson? All of them?
  • H: Yes.
  • I: What's the story behind your haircut? How much did you spend on hair products with One Direction?
  • H: Yeah, like a lot. I used a lot, yeah.
  • I: You're in Dunkirk, Christopher Nolan's new movie.
  • H: Yes.
  • I: How did you do?
  • H: I auditioned.
  • I: Look at you there.
  • H: I am, that's me.
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I auditioned and it was great. It's going to be a really cool movie.
  • I: Harry, it feels like we know you since you're a baby. The whole world discovered you in 2010 on X Factor.
  • *video of Harry's X Factor audition*
  • I: You auditioned alone but Simon Cowell had an idea... he put you in a band with Zayn, Louis, Liam and Niall. You became One Direction. You found the name One Direction and you sold millions of albums. One Direction are soon considered as the new Beattles and you filled the biggest stadiums. The whole world was talking about you. When you go out we prayed for your eardrums. You became UK's pride. David Cameron is in one of your music videos, your sang for the Queen. But in 2015... bang! Zayn left the band, fans couldn't get over it. But don't worry, their favourite is now on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine, he's in Christopher Nolan's new movie, he's Mick Jagger on SNL... What you don't know is that we've met in 2012. You were in France to promote an album and now I have questions. First one! When you're in a car and fans are all around you, do you see that?
  • *video of fans around a car*
  • H: I think I've actually lost my shoe there. When I got in the car... I got in the car and I was like "how many shoes do I have?" Yes I lost my shoe.
  • I: I have another question! Do you still do that before going on stage?
  • *video of Harry and Lou*
  • I: Can we do it?
  • H: No.
  • *does it anyway*
  • I: What is the weirdest question someone asked you?
  • H: I think it was actually a French interview. I got asked if I would pee in a sink... Yeah.
  • I: Ok, that's weird!
  • H: It was the first question, the first question.
  • I: It puts you in the mood.
  • H: Yeah.
  • I: What is the question you never want to be asked ever again? Did I asked you that question?
  • *Harry asks the public*
  • H: Which one? Oh crush.
  • I: What?
  • H: Crush.
  • I: Oh ok. I didn't ask it! Did you know that a French author wrote a novel about you. It's called "Styles", it's about his obsession with you. It's in French. You can translate it.
  • H: Oh! Is that true?
  • I: Yes it's true. He dedicated to you. It's called "Styles" and it's a really good book. Read it!
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Thank you very much Harry Styles for coming tonight. His first eponymous album comes out on the 12th May. Thank you Harry Styles.
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Have a safe journey home.

anonymous asked:

Do you think Marco is bi? He seems like he is bi, or has the potential to be! I really want him to be! There are so few good bi characters on tv that aren't mistreated or tossed aside! Ily btw!!

I don’t know! Maybe? Honestly the storyboard artists don’t really have any authority over who characters end up dating or their sexualities. You’re right, though, bisexual representation on tv hasn’t been great. I think it’s changing, but there’s still a lot of work to be done.

What I do know is that Marco is definitely bike-sexual. Look at that smooch. 

hot take: louis wasn’t trying to discredit harry when he said he wouldn’t have a hard time finding star writers to work with. he spoke about him kindly multiple times in that interview and acknowledged that he’s been great and will do great. imo he was being realistic about his own solo endeavors because he is the underdog which seems to be the theme of the entire interview. it’s really like, simple when you think about it

cinderdrilla  asked:

hit me up w/ some voltron goodness 8)

Lance puts his foot down, and Shiro/Slav have a long overdue talk.

Shiro never figured Lance for the snapping type. They all had their moments, under the constant stress of intergalactic rebellion, but Lance kept a reasonably calm lid on it – his self-titled “rivalry” with Keith aside. Looking at him now, there is only surprise at the way he’s holding himself, the set of his expression: Lance looks both nervous and pissed off.

‘Keith – could you give us a minute?’ he says, in a deliberately calm voice. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Keith hesitate, as if reading the tenseness of the situation and worrying that it might get out of hand. ‘Now, Keith. Go check on Slav’s sector.’

Reluctantly, and with a suspicious look at them both, Keith exits. Lance looks even more nervous when he does. More so when silence settles on them, and he raises a brow at Lance. Well? says the look, say what you have to.

‘I just… you’re way too hard on him,’ Lance repeats, a far cry from the irritated way he’d snapped Can’t you just cut Slav some slack? ‘He’s trying to help, Shiro. I-it’s not… he doesn’t mean to annoy you. It’s just how he… is.’

‘Excuse me?’ His previous calm turns to surprise. He keeps his voice low, not meaning to menace – but Lance scowls a little deeper, mistaking it for nonchalance.
Don’t, Shiro. You sound just like Iverson when you do that, a-and he was an ass,’ Lance says, voice rising only in pitch. Angry and nervous, like a cornered cat. Shiro takes a small step back to give him breathing room, but Lance stays tense. ‘Slav only wants to help. You treating him like a nuisance isn’t – it’s not fair, okay. He can’t help being jumpy; he was a prisoner for ages –’

It takes a second or two for that to sink in. When Shiro goes quiet, when his stare goes vacant as he processes this, Lance steps forward, speech picking up momentum as he grew more defensive.

‘– and it’s not easy to adapt out here,’ there’s a note of hurt in his voice, and it hits Shiro more than the chastising. ‘Slav got taken from his people and thrown into a war just like we did. He’s handling it different. YOU handled it different, we all did. I thought you’d understand him because of it, since you both got tortured by the Galra.’

That’s almost an accusation, and now Shiro fully understands what has Lance so fired up, so recalcitrant. And that understanding brings with it a sense of guilt, especially with the way Lance had said I THOUGHT you’d understand.

Keep reading

Ok, so something sad that happenes but it gets better.

Flug, while mixing chemicals together one day for an invisibility serum, manages to somehow grab the wrong chemical to mix with the one hes currently holding, because he was busy shouting at Demencia to “PUT THAT DOWN BEFORE IT SHATTERS!”, and the mixutre ends up exploding in his eyes. The rest of his face is fine, but his eyes become damaged. He becomes black and white colorblind. Hes only able to see in monochrome. His visions slightly blurry too, but aside from that and now being colorblind, he’s ok.

This wouldnt be such a problem, except that he needs to be able to see the colors of certain wires to make certain inventions work correctly, and he needs to be able to see the colors of different chemicals so that he doesnt cause a wider scale explosion in the lab.

For a while he makes things work. He has to work a bit slower on some inventions, and he often needs Demencia’s help in differentiating colors of liquids and machine parts and such, but other than the slower pace, which agravates Black Hat a good bit, all is the same as it was before the incident.

One day however, Flug comes into the lab to find a suprise on table: a pair of goggles that will fit over the bag he wears. (Prior to this he didnt wear goggles over the bag. He just had eyeholes cut out of it.)

He goes to put them on, and almost screams when he does because EVERYTHING IS BRIGHT AGAIN!!

The goggles turn out to have lenses in them that can correct colorblindness and “Holy shit I CAN SEE THE COLORS AGAIN!! THIS IS AMAZING!!”

Demencia walks in the lab with 5.0.5 in tow, and notices Flug walking around, looking at everything, clearly happy about something. And then she notices the goggles.

“Neat goggles you got there! Where’d they come from?”

“I don’t know but Demencia, they allow me to see colors again!!!!”

And shes kinda suprised because “Wait they make goggles like that?!”

And Flugs just so happy because he can finally do his work again without depending on someone else to help him, and this will speed up his work process againc and Black Hat won’t be so upset with his work time and -

“Wait, Demencia, you didn’t get these for me?”

“Nope, no idea where they came from.”

He’s a bit puzzeled, because these goggles obviously didnt just show up out of nowhere. Someone got them for him. Someone who knew he was colorblind.

Someone who wasn’t Demencia, and certainly not 5.0.5.

That left one person. Well, demon more like it.

Flug walks to Black Hats office, and opens the door just slightly to see that his boss is busy filling out that years tax forms, because “We may be a team of villains, but we still live in a house and own a business, and as such we owe taxes to the idiotic government that runs this country, and I will NOT have my company run to the ground because of tax evasion!!”
Flug waits until he finishes writing up the page he’s on, and then steps into the office the whole way.

“What is it that you require Dr. I’m very busy at the moment and you have orders to fill.”

“Well um, Sir I just..just wanted to let you know that those orders you gave me yesterday? They’ll uh..they’ll be done by tomorrow. Tomorrow morning actually.”

Black Hat looks up at that because “Flugs work has taken longer than two days since the incident that doesn’t add up” and then he notices the goggles.

“What’s with the new headwear Flug?”

“Oh the goggles? They appeared on my um. My desk this morning. They actually..they correct my vision?”

“…meaning?”

“I can..i can see colors again Sir.”

Black Hat sits back for a minute, taking in the information.

“Is that why you’ll have those orders done so quickly compared to your normal time?”

“Yes Sir.”

“…fair enough. Make sure they’re as good quality wise as the ones you’ve been producing. We don’t want to sell rushed work to our clients and ruin our reputation now do we?”

“No Sir, of course not. I’ll um..i’ll have them ready and done well by tomorrow morning for you.”

“Good. Now go back to working on them, I need to finish these forms, least my company go down the drain from failing to comply with thw government’s asinine rules.”

Flug turns to leave, and gets halfway out the door, before turning back to Black Hat.

“You wouldnt..you wouldn’t happen to have been the one who got the goggles for me, were you Sir?”

Black Hat looks up, small scowl on his face.

“Of course not Dr. Why would I ever do such a thing like that? I have no idea who gave them to you. Just be greatful that you have them now and get back to work.”

“Yes Sir, will do.”

And with that Flug leaves.

He doesn’t see the small smile on Black Hats face after he leavws because “he liked the goggles I got for him.”

Audition

A NIGHT AT HOME | TAEHYUNG VERSION

WORD COUNT: 3,112

warnings: graphic smut, dirty talk, spanking, slight exhibitionism, squirting

Originally posted by jitonic

masterlist | ask | song 


“Y/N? Are you listening to anything I’m saying?” Taehyung uttered under his breath, dumbfounded that you were daydreaming once again, a reoccurring phenomenon apparently.

“Mm?” You looked up from your plate, eyes immediately locking with his brown feline-like orbs. The contours of his face seemed sharper than usual, which saying something as your boyfriend had a jawline sharp enough to kill a man; he probably thought you were ignoring him.

The two of you were sat comfortably at the dining table, having just eaten dinner. You met Taehyung by accident three years ago in a movie theatre, he saw your sky blue jumper and assumed you worked there, giving that it was a similar colour to the uniform employees wore. As soon as you turned to face him he became overwhelmed by your beauty, and by his impending embarrassment. He apologised profusely and bought your ticket, writing his number on the back of the small piece of paper.

Calling him that night was the best decision you ever made.

Keep reading

Part 1 | Part 2

How about… Lance distracting Pidge with a kiss (which works wonders) before he shoves her into an escape pod to save her. (Think season 1 epi 10 with Allura saving Shiro)

This has been rolling around my head for weeks, as like what could make for an awesome season 3 cliffhanger, as they rescue matt and sam.

The great request by @vanlegion which took forever to deliver because I wanted to buff up my drawing skills first so I could do it justice. I have a few more requests on hold for that same reason. Also first time ever drawing two people kissing, which turned out okay-ish.

2

I really, really enjoy working with Chris. He’s a great partner, funny, we have lots of laughs on set, and I think that his character, in comparison to Diana’s character, they’re very much yin and yang. He’s this realistic guy, who’s been through a lot, and he knows what mankind is capable of doing, and Diana is this young idealist, who thinks that the world is very white, very pure, mankind is only good, and there’s something in their, you know, once they get to know each other, he teaches her so much about reality and mankind, and she brings back hope to his life.  —Gal Gadot

if y'all would realize in the promo for next week they're kissing from a different angle..

they’re most likely gonna pick up where they left off, and they’re most likely not going to have sex. magnus is going to stop it, alec is going to feel hurt and embarrassed (not that he means to offend or pressure magnus) and he’s going to bolt. he’s going to confide in his parabatai. jace is going to say something to magnus because when you’re bonded by angelic magic, that’s what you do. you look out for the person you’re bonded to. he isn’t going to mean it in an ugly or cruel way. he’s just going to say you need to be careful with him. jace isn’t going to be saying hey you’re feelings don’t matter, because that’s not really who jace is (if you’ve read the books he’s a big fricken softy) and he’s just going to look out for his brother. i really think it’s gonna be okay. they haven’t disappointed us with malec yet. i was like “wtf” at first too, but now that i’ve had time to think about it, this is my opinion.

plus, alec is so inexperienced, he doesn’t know. if magnus says no, i’m more than positive that he’ll stop. when magnus says to stop, yes alec will be embarrassed because he tried so hard. he’ll feel terrible. but i think they’ll work it out, and when they do actually have sex, i’m positive the writers will make it great. ALSO MAGNUS MOST DEFINITELY KISSED BACK WHEN ALEC WAS WALKING HIM INTO THE ROOM. he’s probably going to stop it after that, but he didn’t push alec off yet. i have been in the fandom business for quite some time now, 8 years to be exact. i’ve developed a knack for these kinds of things and interpretation. magnus was into the kissing, i just think he’s really nervous about losing alec after they have sex. i don’t think it’s that he doesn’t want it, i just think he’s scared. also if he doesn’t want it, he could stop alec so easily he’s a warlock guys. magnus bane don’t take no shit. he won’t be taken advantage of, especially not by alec. y'all have barely seen any of what happens, i think we’ll get the full story next week. I’m also hoping the person who gets alec off of the roof is magnus. so apparently it’s been confirmed that they had sex, but this was posted before that piece of info came out. however, a lot of it still rings true. especially the points i made

isak doesn’t have to ring the bell when he goes to even’s place, simply lets himself in and goes to his room, climbs up the ladder of his loft bed and by then even will have moved to the right side of the bed to make room for him. and they greet each other with whispered hey’s and then isak’s forearms are on each side of even’s face and when he leans in and kisses him, he sighs audibly through his nose and it sounds like a mixture of eagerness and the relief of coming home after a long day. and they make out slowly while even’s laptop blasts his frank ocean playlist. they make out like they’re building something great, like they have time, because they do. have time 

and then isak lies on his stomach next to even. well, half of him lies next to even, the other half on him, isak’s face and arm resting on his chest and the tip of his fingers tracing the contours of his collarbones. and when even strokes isak’s arm, he teasingly asks “have you been working out? look at you, biceps and all” and isak lets out a chuckle, flexes his bicep as even has his hand wrapped around it and replies “three times a week at the gym” and even gasps exaggeratedly, squeezing his arm gently and says “without me?” pretending to sound betrayed and isak chuckles again. he doesn’t actually go to the gym, they both know that. isak props himself up on his forearms and smiles at even, playfully says “last night was a work out, wasn’t it? and, well, we did that together” and even raises his eyebrows and then his face breaks into a smile and he lifts his chin up and places a kiss on isak’s lips, says “yeah, you could say that” against them

“you know, i was only saying this for you, isak, if you get all muscly, there might not be enough room for both of us in this bed”. and isak rolls his eyes because. first, that’s never going to happen. and second, isak would have to be the size of three current isaks to not be able to fit in even’s bed. but he can’t help but smile when he looks down at even who is now grinning again because even truly has the most contagious smile he’s ever seen. and isak says “then i guess you’ll have to get a bigger bed” and he rests his head back on even’s chest 

even lets out a little laugh, runs his fingers through isak’s hair, gently rubs little circles on his scalp and says “nah, you know there will always-” and the thing is that at first he says the words playfully, but then they’re barely whispered and there’s tenderness and love in his voice. and when he adds “there will always be room for you in my bed”, it sounds like what he actually means to say is there will always be room for you, anywhere 

I was doing you a favor by playing the long game...

I too was playing yet another long game by holding on to this for so long.

SO I had read earlier today the owner of a previous job of mine passed away. This was a place that tried to screw me pretty hard and I took some pro revenge on. It drug up some angry old feelings, so why not take an equal dose of catharsis?

WARNING: This is a doozy so strap in if you dare, no TL;DR it wouldn’t do justice.

So this takes place almost a decade ago. I was working as a department manager for a fairly large privately owned pest control company. Their color scheme was black and yellow, much like the taxi’s the owner’s dad used to drive. Since the taxi industry would be around for ever(hello Uber/Lyft) so would this pest control company, (this is important later) or so the owner used to parrot constantly. My job was to over see the techs doing treatments and set their stops and generally manage assorted insect control services, inventory, payroll for that dept, etc etc. I had taken the job from the owners son who took it from the previous manager who they demoted and yet stayed in the dept…this is important later. The owners son was a late 30’s early 40’s man child. I mean if he had dialed it back a few degrees he would have been an awesome guy, but anytime booze was involved he was a mess. If it was weed, he turned into the stereo typical obnoxious stoner making nothing but bad Jamaican accented jokes. He also hit on anything younger than him that moved…while being married w a pregnant wife. But I digress, the owner was a piece of work too, old Jewish guy who was as racist as he was old, not with any kind of seething hatred. Just a “this is the way it is” type attitude. My fave line of his, “The sky is blue, Ch#@ks know math, N@&ers are lazy, Jews know gold. What else is new” Like it was the most clever thing of all time. Finally now on to the revenge and need for such.

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Commission for @inarelashionshipwithmyself


Lance had been cranky the last few weeks. On it’s own that wasn’t too unusual, Lance got cranky about the weirdest things.
About running out of the good face masks and having to use different ones that Allura gave him. About the mice not being in the mood to play with him when he wanted. About getting too little sleep. About getting too much sleep. About an alien he’d never seen before and never would again rejecting his embarrassing advances.
But usually his mood brightened again as quickly as it had soured and this lasting slump was starting to worry them.

Keith wasn’t the first who’d noticed it, he hardly ever was when it came to these things. But after Hunk had addressed Lance’s recent attitude and he’d started to pay attention, the signs couldn’t be ignored anymore.
Usually Lance chattered endlessly during their meals and meetings, now he hardly ever said a word, leaving the group as soon as he could where he’d despised being alone for long periods before.
He seemed tense during training sessions, focused but way too stubborn to really make anything out of it, the slightest mistake throwing him off for the whole day. Keith had caught him more than once on the training deck, using it late into the night, expression hardened and determined.

Whenever Hunk or Shiro or, lately, even Allura tried to talk to him he’d put on a cheery mask and pretend everything was fine before retreating to the shooting range to utterly destroy every target the ship gave him.
Keith didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to reach Lance if not even their most empathetic team members could. He hadn’t felt this helpless since he heard the reports about the Kerberos mission failing.
Until the afternoon he was paired up with Lance for hand to hand combat training.

“That’s – okay, that’s enough”, Lance spat, squirming helplessly where Keith had him pinned, one hand tapping a fluttery rhythm against the floor. “I yield! Fuck, I yield!”
Keith furrowed his brows, not used to the other boy giving in this easily, but he still stepped back, offering Lance a hand to help him get up.
Lance scoffed and slapped the hand away, pushing himself upright. Frown deepening Keith watched him.

“You okay?”, he asked, wiping sweat from his forehead. They’d been sparring for a while already. Where Lance had been almost tenacious in the beginning the fire in his eyes had subsided with every failed try to overpower Keith, every time it was him tapping the mat instead.
Now he leveled Keith with an icy glare but instead of getting back into stance he turned away.
“Leave me alone”, he mumbled before he left the training deck.

Shiro perked up from where he was pinning Hunk against the floor, the yellow paladin about to twist free from the hold and counter it when he also noticed Lance’s retreat.
Allura stepped forward, hands on her hips as she called after him: “Lance! Lance, we’re not done, where do you think you’re…”
“It’s okay!”, Hunk called, having used the distraction to free himself and scramble to his feet. “It’s okay, I’ll go get him!”

“No”, Keith said, body moving before he could even think about it. “I’ll go, I’ll talk to him…” He could feel their eyes on him, skeptical and unsure. Could hear the breath Hunk took, the careful “Um, Keith buddy…”
But he just shook his head, going for the doors.
“I got this.”

As expected he found Lance in his room, already changed halfway out of his armor, the leg pieces still clinging to his body.
“I told you to leave me alone”, Lance mumbled, no emotion to be heard in his voice, but Keith still stepped further into the room, arms crossed and face determined.
“Yeah”, he answered, taking a look at the helmet and armor pieces Lance had put on the table for now. “But I wanna know what your deal is. You’ve been … weird.”
Lance huffed a dry laugh and shook his head.
“I’ve been…? No. Nothing. No deal, everything’s just … peachy.”

“Bullshit.” Keith shook his head. “You can tell Hunk and Shiro that. Because they want to … respect your privacy or whatever. But something’s wrong. I wanna know what.”
Lance groaned, throwing another armor piece onto the table.
“What, so you can feel even better about yourself? Just go away!”
Keith huffed and leaned a hip against the desk, trying to catch Lance’s gaze but the blue paladin already turned away from him again.

“Listen”, he began, not quite sure where this would lead but just going with it for now. “Just because you can’t beat me at hand to hand doesn’t mean…”
“Hand to hand? What can I beat you at then?”, Lance spat, whirling around to finally meet Keith’s gaze and there it was again, that fire he’d seen at the beginning of the training session. “You’re the amazing pilot, the martial arts expert, the brave one everybody loves and wants to be like! What else is there, what else … what else can I contribute?”
Keith frowned.

“You … you want to be like me?”
“Oh piss off!”, Lance cursed, turning away again with an exasperated huff. Slowly but surely Keith began to suspect he really wasn’t the right one for this job, that he was only making worse. Maybe he should retreat and send one of the others instead, to settle what he’d done wrong.
“I’m … I’m not good at this”, he began, already setting up to excuse himself when he had an idea. “At uh … talking to people. When they’re upset.”
“Oh really…” Lance’s voice was dripping with sarcasm but Keith pressed on.

“Or just in general. I just can’t seem to … connect with others. I’m not good at that. You are.”
Even though Lance’s back was turned to him Keith could see how he froze, head tilted a little. Listening. He took his chance and went on.
“Remember when we were on that desert planet and neither Pidge nor me could convince the aliens to let us evacuate them? But then you came in and only needed two minutes with their leader to make them trust us?”

Lance shook his head.
“You were still wearing your helmets, that was rude to them.”
“Yeah but we didn’t know! We never would have figured that out if you hadn’t!” Keith took a careful step forward, around Lance, to look at him again. Some of the tension had seeped out of the other boy’s shoulders and his expression wasn’t quite as hardened as before.
“Yeah”, Lance mumbled. “You guys would’ve been lost without me.”
“We would have been!”, Keith insisted, still not sure what he was doing, only that it seemed to work at least a little.

“And … and that’s not the only thing! You’re … you’re a great shot. An incredible shot! There’s a reason your bayard is a rifle and mine is for close combat. You’re our long range guy, yeah? You don’t have to beat me at hand to hand when you can beat me in a shooting competition any day. And your bond with your lion…”
That was apparently the wrong thing to say. Lance rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“Yours is better. The things Red does for you, it’s crazy…”

“Oh god!”, Keith groaned, throwing his arms out. “Stop comparing yourself to me! You’re your own person! And you bring your own skills to the team! We all need you and if you can’t see how much Blue adores you, you’re an even bigger idiot than I thought!”
There was a pause, Lance squinting at him as if deciding to trust him or not. Keith stubbornly held the gaze.

“You mean that, don’t you?”, Lance asked after a while, expression shifting from suspicious to thoughtful. He sucked his lower lip into his mouth, biting down on it.
“In case you haven’t noticed”, Keith said, posture relaxing again. “I’m also a really bad liar.”
Lance huffed another dry laugh at that but the creases around his eyes vanished as he relaxed.
“You really are”, he smiled tentatively and Keith couldn’t even bring himself to be mad at him. Not when he just coaxed a smile out of Lance. The first one in weeks.

Then Lance reached out to take his hand, squeezing it tightly, and Keith was way too surprised to react. The grip around his fingers was strong and warm, oddly pleasant.
“Come with me”, Lance said, tugging him towards the door without a care in the world for his half dismantled armor.
“What … where…”
“Shooting range”, Lance answered, completely nonchalant with a little shrug. “Wanna beat your ass at something right now.”
Keith snorted but let himself be dragged away. If that’s all it took to make Lance smile again he’d lose a hundred shooting competitions against him.


[This fanfic was a commission! Check out how to commission me or consider buying me a Coffee if you liked this story!]

Just Friends

Requests: (1) Could you do a Draco imagine that consists of Cedric Diggory, Draco getting jealous, feels, conflict, and a load of jealousy?;

(2) Could you do an imagine where Draco and the reader are best friends and lowkey in love with each other but refuse to admit it, and progressively Draco starts making, erm, suggestive, comments to the reader and there’s just lots of sexual tension and eventually they get together?

⇢  A Draco x Reader work featuring a very jealous and steamy Draco.


Draco took a sip from his goblet, peering over the rim as you walked into The Great Hall with a handsome Hufflepuff by your side. Not that it bothered him, of course. In fact, Draco would say he hardly even noticed.

“You alright, mate?”

“Just fine. Why do you ask?”

Zabini shrugged. “Your nose has been inside your goblet for some time now. Trying to drown yourself, Malfoy?”

“Of course not.” Draco lowered the goblet from his face, never once taking his eyes off you. You were still talking to that boy.

Blaise followed Draco’s gaze and smirked. “Tell me, Draco, where’s that best friend of yours? She usually would have dropped by for her daily chat by now.” He watched as Draco’s jaw clenched ever so slightly. “Oh– I see her. She’s preoccupied by that Hufflepuff. Diggory, is it?”

“I don’t know. And I couldn’t care less, really.”

“Didn’t you two agree to attend the Yule Ball together?” A look of mock realization dawned on Zabini’s face. “Oh, that’s right. You two agreed to go only as friends. And now she’s chatting up the Triwizard Champion while you’re here dateless.”

“Appears so.” Draco remained impassive. “But at least I have an excuse for not bringing a date. Can you say the same?”

Zabini sobered as he took in Draco’s expressionless tone. Zabini may have been a tosser, but he knew when to stop. “You really like her, don’t you?”

Draco heaved a sigh, rubbing his temple and finally turning to face Blaise. “Is it obvious?”

“Only to someone with a brain.” Blaise paused. “Which explains why Y/N hasn’t caught on yet.”

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anonymous asked:

Hi! New around here... May I ask what do you like about Madancy? Mads sure seems to fancy Mr. Dancy, Hugh.. not so much )=

My dear sweet baby fannibal, I need to stop you right there. 

Since you say you’re new, I’ll help you out.

“Well, it came about because one of the things that was very important was that Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter have a likeability, not only on screen but with each other. The fact that Hugh Dancy and Mads Mikkelsen are very good friends in real life cinched the deal, in my mind. That was important because I knew it was going to translate to screen. We wanted the audience to like these two men liking each other.” — Bryan Fuller on how he ended up casting Mads Mikkelsen (x)

“Hugh Dancy was the first actor cast and that made the project all that more appetizing for Mads Mikkelsen, who knew Hugh and worked with him in the past and rightfully adored him.— Bryan Fuller (x)”

“Me and Hugh (Dancy) were two of the knights (in King Arthur). So we were sitting for half a year on horseback and we became friends way back then. It’s just been a gift. We’re doing a show like this where you’re working so close together. It’s nice to be comfortable with each other, and that was just a gift that it turned out to be me and Hugh”— Mads Mikkelsen 

“Mads is a remarkable combination of things. He’s more than capable of fighting for what he wants. He’s amazing.”— Hugh Dancy

“Well obviously what I’m going to miss is just sitting down in a chair and having chit-chats with Hugh Dancy.” — Mads Mikkelsen on Hannibal S3 (x)

“It’s great. The very first time we sat down, talked about the show, Mads came up at the conversation. I worked with Mads nine years ago now on ‘King Arthur’. Completely different. Could not be more different. But during that period I got to know him and really like him. As a man as an actor. And had followed his career ever since then. I knew it was going to be great. That relationship is so complicated and interesting. It has to be believable. That’s one of the highlights of the show for me.” — Hugh Dancy

“So, spending that much time with a fellow actor, as I knew I would do with Hugh, it was just a fantastic gift that we knew each other. We are not only in the room, but to a degree, we have to be emotionally naked in certain situations.” — Mads Mikkelsen spoke about friendship with Hugh and cast (x)

(Mads Mikkelsen from Red Dragon Con, post)

(Hugh Dancy, The Path interview, post)

He’s worked with the actor Hugh Dancy previously and agrees that such a genuine friendship lends something special to their on screen relationship. “It was a great gift for both of us, that we were able to spend some much time together on the show. We were kind of in a boat of insecurity from the beginning, but it was nice to have a friend there, if you go down or you stay up. To be able to be comfortable with someone in a room, day in, day out of filming, 12 hours a day, was an extreme gift for both of us. We found a way of working together really fast. Hopefully I’ll get to spend time with him during the third season as well, but if not I’ll just have to go drink some beers with him!” — Mads Mikkelsen (x)

“I would say an actor like Mads, but there aren’t any, there’s just Mads.” — Hugh Dancy during the SAG Foundation interview (x).

And finally:

“Collaboration with Mads, who I love, who’s a wonderful actor and incredible partner in that respect “ — Hugh Dancy on what the show means to him

Hugh has become one of my very, very, very good friends. We knew each other from before, but it’s been so intense to spend three seasons together. I was there when he had his first little baby. It’s been a fantastic journey. We were just very, very lucky that we ended up with each other. Imagine if we had ended up with someone we didn’t like.” — Mads Mikkelsen (post)

Mads Mikkelsen and Hugh Dancy are friends. I’m not sure where you got the impression that they aren’t or that one dislikes the other.

Mads likes Hugh. 

Hugh likes Mads. 

They’re friends.

And their amazing chemistry and friendship (and various aesthetic reasons) is why I ship the fleet of ships that belong to Hugh and Mads and their characters.

So, after all of this, if you’re interested in some more Mads and Hugh liking each other and goofing around together goodies, check out my tag ‘danish crumpet’.

Personal headcanon; Gabe was a great tactician but didn’t want to hear other people’s opinions. He wanted his orders to be followed by the people he was giving them to, and leave it at that. Jack was more of the opinion that the military way they’d been doing things wasn’t working and they’d be better off round tabling it to get the unique perspectives of all the international superhero oddballs they’d assembled to fight the Omnics.

No one wanted to challenge Gabe because he was intimidating and better-at-everything-than-everyone, so Jack would go out of his way to listen to everyone’s opinions and throw himself on the sword to personally challenge Gabe with their suggestions because it didn’t put him on the defensive to justify his strategy to Jack the same way it would if he felt like the team was ganging up on him (and even if it did, Jack was his best bud and they’d get over it eventually). Gabe thought of himself as a Commander and didn’t have any hangups about commanding, but Jack always thought of himself as a soldier no matter how many promotions he got and as such addressed people at lower ranks like equals. He made himself approachable enough that everyone under his command felt comfortable challenging his orders to his face, which is an emotionally taxing way to try to run a military strike force for 20 years.

Gabe was too hard and wanted things done exactly how he wanted, Jack was too soft and wanted to hear the team’s opinions on everything. Together they filled in each other’s missing pieces and saved the world, separate the whole house of cards fell apart.