he's a sir in my heart

family drama

Jason: [bursting into room, Damian in his arms, anguished] It’s a violent case of hiccups! Will he live, Doc?

Damian: [kicking] Let–hic–go–hic–Todd!

Dick: [drops everything, becomes very solumn, ear to Damian’s heart] He needs medicine badly. Nurse!

Tim: [salutes and grabs water bottle] Of course sir, right away sir!

Dick: Hold him down.

Jason: You got it.

Damian: [struggling] I’m–hic–going–hic–to hang you–hic–from your–hic–thumbs!

Dick: [stonily] Grab his nose, Nurse.

Tim: He’ll bite me, sir.

Dick: Get yourself together, man! Are you a goddamn nurse or not?

Tim: Aye aye, sir! [pinches Damian’s nose]

Damian: [voice muffled] Hang–hic–you above–hic–PIRANHAS–hic!

Jason: The patient is delusional!

Tim: Hurry, doctor!

Dick: [squirts water bottle into Damian’s mouth] LET US CAST OUT THIS ILLNESS!

Damian: [angry gargling]

Jason: AGAIN!

Dick: [squirts eight times in sequence]

Damian: [choking]

Tim: Best to put him out of his misery, doc

Dick: Keep hope, nurse!

Damian: [sputtering] I DESPISE ALL OF YOU!

Jason: He is healed!

All three: Hallelujah!

All three: [parade to Bruce’s study singing hymns, burst in and drop Damian in Bruce’s lap] THE POWER OF MODERN MEDICINE!

Bruce: [looks at boys]

Bruce: [looks at Damian]

Bruce: Why is your brother soaking wet?

Dick, Jason, Tim:

Damian: Hic!

Dick, Jason, Tim: [pounce]

Damian: [latching onto Bruce like a spider monkey] FATHER NO HELP ME



Bruce: I’m changing Robin’s uniform to neon pink.

Damian: [gapes]

Damian: [softly, full of loathing] I will disown you.

Bruce: Are your hiccups gone?

Damian: I will not have it! Do you hear me? I will not!

Dick: His hiccups are gone.

Damian: Neon pink doesn’t camouflage well into the night, I couldn’t–

Tim: What, and red, green, and yellow do?


Bruce: [nods wisely] Alternative medicine.

a paparazzo takes a shot of Jack and Bitty kissing

And Jack is still not out

While Jack freezes in panic and the guy turns around to leave-

‘Sir! Please wait!’ calls Bitty.

Paparazzo turns back, hoping for a shot of Zimmermann’s boyfriend.

‘Sir- I beg you, don’t publish this! My parents still don’t know I’m gay!’

Paparazzo hesitates. Bitty keeps going, his doe eyes getting bigger and wetter.

‘I’m from Georgia, sir, and my dad is a football coach, and they’re super conservative, see, and I’m scared they won’t let me back home if they ever learn, and I just wanted to wait until my Moomaw’s death because if I’m not able to see her again it would break my heart-’

The paparazzo, holding back his tears, deletes the pictures, in front of Bitty’s eyes. Bitty thanks him profusely, asking his name and noting his address so he can deliver a pie, no I assure you, sir, it would be my pleasure!

When they’re left alone again, Jack tries not to smile.

‘Bittle, your dad loves you, he told you last week when he invited both of us for Christmas. And your Moomaw is the epitome of health, she will outlive all of us.’

‘Well, I wouldn’t have to tell people that if you didn’t keep kissing me in public!’

‘But you look so lovely and kissable…’

‘And you are a menace, Mister Zimmermann. I have eight pies to bake this week, five!’

‘And you love having the Providence paparazzi in your little pocket, don’t you?’

‘They’re all my bitches and I play them like a fiddle. Come, now, we need to buy enough ingredients to bake pies for every single person in Rhode Island with a camera phone.’


‘How can I take you from my mind, my sweet Guinevere, when I see you each day? How must I remove you from my heart? I wish to take a knife and cut the part out so that I pain no more. But if I did this, my beautiful Guinevere, I should have no heart left all all.’
‘You are my soul, Sir Lancelot,’ She whispered to herself ‘I know I have married the wrong man, but he is a good man and forever I shall be his Queen. Your heart is large and pure for you, in truth, love all men. For your gift in healing is visionary and you shall be a legend in your own lifetime. Sir Lancelot, I shall love you forever, for you are my only soul.’  
— Realm Of The Bear, S. R. Sorel

Opening Texts in an LDR
  • Me: *Opens Skype with shaky hands* *sees 6 new messages from dominant*
  • Me: *Talking to stuffies* Okay guys, we can do this. I'm gonna read all these messages without getting worked up! *Opens chat*
  • Sir: Hi baby doll.
  • Me: *Shuts off phone screen* *Screeches happily, wiggling about* Gahhh he called me baby doll. *Grabs pillow and hugs it close* *Turns screen back on and continues to read*
  • Sir: I liked that outfit you showed me. You're so pretty.
  • Me: *Shuts screen off again* *Grabs every stuffie on my bed, heart pounding* Lord, I'm such a coward, but I'm gonna need all of you to read these messages. *Opens messages again*
  • Sir: I miss you like crazy.
  • Me: *Screams into my pillow*
  • Sir: I love you to the moon and back darling.
  • Me: *Falls onto bed exhausted and happy before replying with way too many emojis*

hi guys! I got something today!

i thought about this a lot
Leon is my best character but i don’t know his bday and he is 40 now.

So I decided to celebrate his birthday every month. well i have wanted this for a long time. why not

i prepared with my heart all of this. hope you do not use for any purposes.

and here you go :)

Happy Birthday in January♥

Congrats on your 40th birthday Leon!

you are my best character ever. i’m really happy to know about you.

remember always safe driving and more careful with your beautiful hair.

i’ll always be here for support you. hope a great year.♥ :)

(pls eat your cake sir)

anonymous asked:

small au for hyungwon or the8 please, if it's ok๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–โœจ (p.s : i really love your writings i check them out all the time, the characterization feels so real and the ideas are very good too ! and i hope you're doing well with school and whatever too ๐Ÿ’–๐ŸŒธ))

oh my,,,that’s so nice of you to say!!!!! tysm!!!!

  • single dad!hyungwon 
  • loves his son to pieces and hates having to drop him off at the daycare because he’ll literally just hold him like in his arms
  • and his son cries everytime he has to leave and it breaks hyungwon’s heart
  • and the daycare workers are always like ,,,,,sir,,,,,it’s been twenty minutes,,,,,,you might be late for work
  • and hyungwon, hugging his son is like, this moment is Too Precious. I couldn’t give less of a Shit about work
  • (he’s late to work everyday if i didn’t make that apparent enough)
  • wonho and kihyun keep trying to get hyungwon to hire a babysitter and maybe go out drinking with other co-workers but hyungwon is so like,,,,,,suspicious of everyone
  • and he’d literally rather spend the weekend inside with his son helping him learn the alphabet and watching saturday morning cartoons
  • if his son does something like super cute,,,,like once he picked a flower and kept playing with it,,,,hyungwon takes like one million videos of it
  • im not lying, he has like two phones one is full of videos and pics of his son he loves him so much
  • you’re a dog walker who’s always in the park the same time as when hyungwon takes his son there after daycare 
  • and you see this tall,,,,handsome dad with his kid at the kiddie swings and you think it’s really cute
  • and you’re always like wondering where the mom is or something because you bet she has to be gorgeous to be married to someone who literally looks like a model
  • and one day as you’re getting the dogs back on their leashes you notice another owner left the dog park door open
  • and you’re like “that’s rude” but before you can get up to close it you see this tiny boy come waddling through the gates
  • and your eyes widen because!!!!! that’s a kid,,,,,,the dogs,,,,,,,,,,he could get hurt!!
  • and you drop the leashes, running straight over to pick up the little boy and you’re like “you can’t come in here, it’s only for puppies!!” and you look around for their parents but you can’t see anyone
  • but then you notice,,,,,,that hey,,,,,this is the handsome guys son??? and you’re like ??? because where’s his dad 
  • so you close the door to the dog park and try to look around and you don’t notice but the boy wraps his small hands around your neck and cuddles into your shoulder
  • and finally you find his dad running around the park frantically and you’re like “sir!!!!” and hyungwon stops to see you and his son and he’s like oh my god i thought i was going to die,,,,,,i can’t believe he ran off on my like that
  • and you’re like “he came over to the dog park, but thankfully nothing happened but um-”
  • and hyungwon is looking at you and you’re like “i think he’s asleep?” 
  • hyungwon’s eyes go back to being wide and he’s like?????asleep????but he never sleeps in anyones arms but mine??????? 
  • but it’s true when hyungwon leans over to look, his son is asleep in your arms like it’s the most natural thing
  • and you want to hand him over but he’s holding your shirt bunched up in his fist
  • and you’re like “um,,,,,” and hyungwon is like,,,,,,,,,,this is a bit,,,,im sorry
  • and you’re like no it’s fine but actually i need to get the dogs and i cant,,,so could you,,,,,
  • and that’s how hyungwon ends up walking the dogs for you around the block as you hold his sleeping son and you get to talking and he’s so cute, ranting on about how much he loves his boy 
  • and you’re like “what does his mom do?” and hyungwon kind of sighs and is like she’s not around anymore
  • and you’re like oh,,,im sorry and he’s like it’s ok anyway,,,,i think the dogs have had enough,,,,,,,,which dog should we drop off first?
  • and you go around and every one of your customers is like winking at you and pointing at hyungwon like ooooo,,,,i didn’t know you had a husband- and you’re like hES NOT
  • even though you’re literally holding his child and he’s helping you walk dogs. like what do you look like? a family
  • and finally his son wakes up and happily goes from your arms to hyungwons 
  • and you’re like “well, see you whenever??” and hyungwon is like “uh,,,,,actually,,,,,,,if it’s ok with you,,,,,,,,,,,im gonna take him to the zoo this weekend. are you free?”
  • and you’re like OH,,,yes,,,,,,,and hyungwon smiles and it’s the most,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,handsome smile you’ve ever seen
  • and he’s like “good, i think he’ll really like it if you’re there,,,and you know coughs,,,,,so will i” 
bts as boyfriends ; namjoon

Originally posted by yoonkooks

    3/7. the sugar daddy boyfriend. 

  • you’ll be spoiled rotten
  • pays attention to things that catch your eye
  • your wardrobe consists of nearly everything hes bought you
  • loves you in heels
  • even when youre taller than him 
  • never asks for anything in return
  • you wish he would though
  • baby, babe
  • VERY attentive, your every problem is important to him
  • almost too caring
  • the type of boyfriend to ask you if youre okay if you spend too much in the bathroom
  • will always have his arm wrapped around you
  • touches the back of your neck
  • my girlfriend looks great tonight”
  • leaves hickeys on the insides of your thighs
  • taps his fingers to the beat of the song
  • hums a lot
  • tickle fights/??? yes sir
  • “listen to this, it reminds me of you”
  • good morning/night texts
  • early riser. sometimes he stays in bed just to be close to you
  • “morning princess”
  • likes to run his hands through your hair
  • always ALWAYS wants you to sit in his lap smh
  • wants to take you out for fancy dinners
  • encourages you to steal his sweaters 
  • sneaks into the shower with you
  • “why arent there any hearts by my contact”
  • gruff, sleepy voice
  • so, so in love with you


Hidden (Part 17)

Jaebum is surrounded by the same two officers that had questioned Hanna, in the same chair as well.

โ€œWe have here that youโ€™re a threat.โ€ Officer Jang who had called him, looks at his notepad for his resources.

โ€œI am?โ€ Jaebum doesnโ€™t quite understand how.

Keep reading


Hayley Marshall Appreciation Week

Day Five: Favourite Relationship

I had a dream. I was holding you. You seemed happy.


ღ 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 ღ


This is my contribution to the fandom

Based on this by @a-kingdom-of-foxes cause they asked nicely

every single day jim makes at least one ship-wide announcement like “goood morning enterprise…[actual things going on on the ship today], and more importantly, I still really love our first officer, Mr. Spock, the smartest most handsome man in the galaxy, i love him with all my heart, he’s one of the best parts of my life and i’m glad to have met him,”

every single day. sometimes you can here the people on the bridge in the background like “Keptin we all get the idea please” “That’s gay as shit. Sir.” “Jim if you don’t stop im going to knock you out” “Captain, this is highly unnecessary”

Jim will stop himself for a second and go “Shhshh I’m making an important announcement, also i’m the captain so i get to decide what’s necessary so shh, anyway as i was saying, I love Spock so much,”

A Good and Lovely Dance

Snape: *skulking around perimeter of the dance floor, hating life* …Miss Lovegood, what are you doing?

Luna: *pauses in solitary twirling* I am dancing, sir.

Snape: *deep, slow inhale* …Miss Lovegood. You were spinning in circles by yourself near the punch. And you are in your third year. The Yule Ball is only open to fourth years and above. This was announced countless times. Unless you have an older date, you should not even be here.

Luna: Oh, but I do have an older date, sir! He is over there, in that shadowy and desolate corner.

Snape: *follows Luna’s pointed finger* *nearly suffers a mild heart attack* What is the Bloody Baron doing in here!?

Luna: He is my date sir.

Baron: *stares ominously at passing students, who quickly keep walking*

Snape: …What?

Luna: Yes, sir. You see, I was just strolling about the castle towers by myself, as I usually do on the weekends while others are socializing, and I heard the Baron moaning around the astronomy tower. He sounded so very depressed, and so I asked him if he might like to go to the Ball with me. I know the ghosts secretly love to be around other people, even the Baron, but he would never admit it. He prefers to be mysterious.

Baron: *continuous to stare vacantly at dancers* *smiles*

Luna: So I thought he might like the excuse to haunt the Yule Ball, sir. At first I was certain he would say no, but then I said, ‘You know, Mr. Baron, Hogwarts has very few Balls. This might be your only opportunity to accompany a Ravenclaw to a formal dance.’ And then he said yes! 

*beams radiantly*

Snape: …..

Luna: He doesn’t dance, though. Understandable, really. I imagine those chains are very heavy and uncomfortable. But that’s quite all right with me. I’ve always danced alone.

Snape: …..You asked the Bloody Baron to the Yule Ball.

Luna: Yes, sir.

Snape: And…and he said yes.

Luna: Yes, sir.

Snape: ……..

Baron: *begins to tap foot in time with the music as it shifts to something more lively*

Luna: Am I in trouble, sir?

Snape: …No, Miss Lovegood.

Luna: Oh, good. Then if you’ll excuse me, sir. I love this song! *wanders off onto dance floor, spinning and smiling*

Snape: *watches her go, at a loss* 

*eventually goes outside to the castle grounds, intent on breaking up as many romantic encounters as possible while pondering his entire existence*

treasure planet AU with Croc as Long John Silver and Luffy as Jim Hawkins aka i’ve lost control of my life because of one piece aus

please imagine Croc having to choose between the treasure he spent all his life trying to find and this kid he knew for barely a few months who somehow managed to worm his way into his old grumpy heart

The invitation to photograph Sir Paul McCartney came out of the blue. It was a Thursday afternoon in March 2006 and I was on a train, heading back home to Devon after a shoot in London. The sun was shining and I was daydreaming. The train had just pulled out of Reading when my mobile rang.

It was Paul McCartney’s agent, asking if I would like to photograph him the following morning at Abbey Road Studios in London. He was recording his classical album Ecce Cor Meum (Behold My Heart) and wanted some reportage-style shots of the recording process for the album artwork. […]

However, at the moment the offer came, I’d just completed a tiring shoot in London and was looking forward to a long weekend at home. I thanked the publicist for the offer but said, ‘I think I’ll pass on this one.’

While on the journey, I phoned my agent and mentioned that I’d turned down the offer to photograph Paul McCartney. He said, ‘Are you mad? Phone him back now and tell him you’ll do it!’

I realised I’d made a mistake, so I rang McCartney’s agent and said, ‘I don’t know what I was thinking: it’s a great opportunity and I’d love to photograph him.’ Then I went home, had dinner and travelled 200 miles back up the track to London. I stayed overnight and then went to Abbey Road [Studios] the next morning.

When I arrived, the publicist made it clear that McCartney wanted me to photograph only what was happening and not to interact with anyone or give any direction. Although this was completely different to the way I normally worked, it meant I was free for the whole morning to roam around the studio, photographing McCartney, the choir and the orchestra. […]

My favourite picture from the shoot shows McCartney listening to the playback on headphones, surrounded by Abbey Road sound engineers and technicians. I just happened to go into the studio at that moment and quickly grabbed the shot. It was a genuine moment and I don’t think McCartney was even aware I was taking it.

[Harry Borden, Amateur Photographer, December 2016]

Pic: Harry Borden.

anonymous asked:

I used to work at a call centre where (elderly) people could order stuff and because it was a number without fees we got a lot of prank callers and some perverts. Like one dude calls at noon on a Sunday, just panting and groaning which makes me think "shit, dude's having a heart attack or something" so I ask "Sir, can I help you?" and he just goes "I got my dick in my hand" like congratufuckinglations now leave me alone. Smh...