he's a narwhal

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THE WHITE WALKERS

Who makes their clothes

Do they ever have parties

Do these assholes drink

Do they take turns riding the wight mammoths when they are bored

Do they ice skate

Do the ones with long hair ever cut it

Are they jealous of Jon’s hair

Do they roll around in the snow to clean themselves? Do they ever clean themselves?

WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY DO WITH THEIR FREE TIME THO?

Is one of them a jokester and the others are like, “there goes Tom, he made a fucking Walker narwhal again, fuck you Tom”

Night King had an ace throwing arm; have they spent thousands of years sitting around practicing to hit dragons with their ice javelins

Where do they put baby walkers? Do they have cribs for crasters kids? Do they have a nursery for them?

Do the young walkers receive any sort of childhood education?

Do the Walker teenagers go through a rebellious phase where they cherish life and build snowmen as surprises for wildling children?

Are any of the these motherfuckers literate

I’m just getting started. How did they make the chains y’all? How did they make the chains?????

(BMC) RichJake first date headcanons

-Jake is obsessed with marine life
-Like
-Really obsessed
-Rich doesn’t know this, but coincidentally happens to take him to an aquarium for their first date
-And finds out that Jake is a sea-fact gold mine
- ‘Yeah, okay so you know step number four of the theory of evolution? Overproduction? Octopi take it to the next. level. They lay like ten thousand babies, then starve themselves watching over them and die. It’s super depressing. I used to have a pet octopus, Amphitrite. She was sort of yellow? The name octopus comes from the greek word octo, which means eight—’
-Rich has a hard time following these rambles
-He doesn’t mind though because Jake lights up like a firework when talking about this stuff, and it’s so precious to watch
-At the end of the tour, he buys him a stuffed narwhale
- ‘To repay you for the teddy bear, y'know’
-Jake goes ballistic
- 'Dude!! Thank you so much!! It’s so cute!!!’
-He names it Richie
-(Rich doesn’t mention that he named his teddy bear Jakey)
-They go buy icecream
-Jake isn’t very good at keeping up conversations past the typical forced high-school talk™
-They talk a bit about soccer, and homework, and teachers
-(Squips and fires are never brought up)
-At some point Rich slips his hand in Jake’s, and laughs as Jake nearly drops his icecream
-After that it’s easier
-They talk about ice cream flavors and youtube videos and weird hobbies
-Rich finds out Jake has a coin collection dating from the 80’s
-Jake finds out Rich played Super Mario in the third grade school play
- 'I couldn’t even prounounce the name. It was humiliating.’
'You couldn’t say Super Mario?’
'Dude, I have a lithp. I’d appear and yell, I’M THUPER MARIO HERE TO THAVE THE PRINCETH!! and everyone would crack up’
-Jake feels bad until he realizes Rich is laughing
-They take a lot of selfies
-Jenna made them promise
-Jake hates selfies, and Rich needles him mercilessly about it:
- 'Y'know, in the beginning you look like an average white jock, but you’re actually an 80 year old 'born in the wrong generation’ grandpa’
'Oh shut up’
-On the way home Jake hugs him and says he had a wonderful time
-That’s the exact word he uses
-Wonderful
-And Rich in that moment decides he wants to be with this old-fashioned ocean geek forever

4

when my brother was born, my mama bought three white cats for my brother and would rotate the first two out so they wouldn’t get worn. over the years she forgot. the one on the left is the one my brother has been sleeping with for five years, the one in the middle the backup, and the one on the right we took out of its packaging today.

anonymous asked:

Max learns how to ride a motorcycle and gets a helmet with a spike on it. He also tried to narwhal stab someone before and David almost took it off until max said he wouldn’t do it again. Max usually breaks the speed limits and can do wheelies and when the cops chase him he usually gets away

yes! but really max, you’re giving your dad a heart attack

His nickname is the leather unicorn

SUJU: When You’re In A Car Accident

I’m sorry I’m only posting this just now, but I it all written and my browser suddenly crashed, and I lost it all. So I went into a funk, spend more than a week trying to motivate myself to write it again, and here it is. Disclaimer, it’s extremely long.

For the sake of this, I didn’t say if you were a best friend, little sister, girlfriend, wife, etc, so you can just imagine it as you’d like.

I’m going to make different groups for this:      

The “I don’t have any kind of reaction” group would be Siwon, Shindong and Kangin. They would have the least amount of external reaction to the situation (my first thought about this three guys’ reaction was linked to the Spanish idiom “La procesión va por dentro” which doesn’t have an English translation, but means kind of everything that’s going on isn’t shown on the outside, but they’re dying inside)

Siwon would be devastated inside, but would still fetch water and coffee for everyone, try to get them as comfortable as possible for the long wait ahead, and then he’ll probably just sit in a corner praying. I can see him praying nonstop until he knows how you are and what’s going to happen from then on.

Originally posted by parkjngsoo

Shindong, I believe he’d be the one trying to keep everyone thinking positively, making sure to hug the ones that are crying, and get them as calm as possible. I guess I only see him freaking out in private, once the doctor gives them the medical part and he knows what’s going on.

Originally posted by aelitasuju

Kangin I see as the one that wouldn’t stop fuzzing over everyone else, to try and repress the thought of you being hurt. I see him as the one getting food, blankets, hugging the youngsters, trying to calm your family down. I think he’d be the calmest on the outside. He’d only break down once the wait is over and he’s able to see you.

Originally posted by parkjngsoo

The “I’m trying to be strong but this is more than I can handle” group would be Leeteuk, Yesung, Sungmin, and Eunhyuk. They would be the ones that would try to stay calm for others, but wouldn’t manage to fool anyone.

Leeteuk I believe would first make sure everyone else was safe and as calm as possible, and he’d be crying silently while making sure everyone is okay, without worrying about himself until the entire situation has passed.

Originally posted by nitrojins

Yesung I think would be the silent one that doesn’t want to get in the way. He’d just sit in the corner staring at the wall or the floor, and allow his thoughts to take over. I don’t think he would cry until he gets either good or bad news, that’s when I think he’d break.

Originally posted by fyeahyesunggifs

Sungmin I think would be the silent one that’s crying alone. The second he realises he’s going to start crying, he’d go out to the pavement, or maybe lock himself inside a toilet and cry by himself, not letting anyone see that he’s crying.

Originally posted by sayyouwantme

Eunhyuk… I think Hyukkie would have the widest reaction spectrum. I believe at first, he’ll try to get as much information as he possibly can, trying to make sense of the situation, then he’d stay quiet and process everything he was just told, staring at your friends and family members, and then he would break down, and start crying, possibly hugging someone who needed it, but he’d be deeply affected by the situation.

Then, we have the “Crying a river” group, consisting of Donghae and Ryeowook.

Ryeowook, I think, would instantly start crying nonstop until he gets news that you’re okay, and if the news are not good then, I think he would be deeply affected for a really, really long time.

Donghae, I believe, would last a little longer before he starts crying, maybe until he gets to the hospital, but then, the tears just wouldn’t stop. I really do think that he’d only stop crying once he’s able to see you, even if you’re not in the greatest of shapes.

Originally posted by duckflyfly

And finally, I really believe Heechul and Kyuhyun belong in a totally different category.

Although most members have been involved in some kind of traffic accident, I think the ones that have the most traumatic experiences were Heechul and Kyuhyun. Heechul broke his leg in five places, had to endure an eight hour surgery in which doctors placed metal rods inside his legs to help the broken bones align correctly, and suffered from pains because of that for two years, until they got them out; And Kyuhyun, we all know about Kyuhyun: was propelled about 20 meters from the van, and when he got to the hospital they discovered he had a fractured hip, pneumothorax from broken ribs, and facial scratches and bruises. He was on a coma for four days and had 20% chances of making it alive. So I really do believe a loved one being involved in a car accident would break them.

Kyuhyun, I believe, would be in denial at first, trying to convince himself it’s a joke, that you’re actually alright and this is an extremely bad prank. But once he realises it’s actually happening, I think he’d be crying, without a doubt. He’d need to be held and taken care of, would be extremely sensitive to changes in the mood or other people’s reaction. I think he’d be so concerned about you going through what he went through, he’d start crying all over again if he’d calmed down, and would be extremely sad now that he sees what everyone went through when he was the one in your place, which would once again lead him to worrying over you.

Originally posted by blueprincez

Heechul’s first reaction, I think would be to get mad. He’d be extremely pissed, reacting badly to everyone, yelling at nurses and doctor when they don’t give him any information, and overall being extremely sensitive to anyone that speaks to him. But I think there would be a point where he’d snap and break. Although I really don’t picture him as the crying type, I see him as the catatonic type. He’d suddenly go into shock, locking himself inside his head, his mind running a reel consisting in concern over your situation, every single possible outcome, and having flashbacks, reliving his own car accident and the pain he was in. It would take a while to get him out of that state, he wouldn’t listen to anyone, but once he snaps out of it, I can picture him crying softly, not sobbing or doing anything dramatic, just tears falling slowly from his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. I don’t know why, but I picture him trying to learn how to pray, even if he doesn’t believe in God, because he’d want to do anything he can to help you survive, and there’s not much he can possibly do in this moment.

Originally posted by parkjngsoo

That was long, I’m sorry. I try to portrait their reactions as truthfully as I could, this is me trying to guess how each member would react, after almost a decade of seeing the way they act, and how they react to stressful situations. I hope I did them justice. Also, I couldn’t find any gif that matched what I needed for Eunhyuk and Ryeowook in the Tumblr GIF search engine, so I had to Google them. All credit goes to the author of both gifs.

(I’m sorry Heechul’s was the longest, but he’s my bias and I’ve spent so much time the last nine years of my life following his every move, I really believe that’s the way he would react.)

-Admin Narwhal

beautiful in chicago 2017

i was going to do one immediately, and then i didn’t and i deleted the original lab report type post, but then the photo op pics came out and this happened:

so i thought, yeah. i’m going to write a small fanaccount of how i have an irl crush on minhyuk and lost my shit at the mx concert bc i love 7 boys and a long legged weird one a bit more. (i look at hot mess in that photo and way too excited i’m sorry :D)

some videos and pictures have been posted here, but all of my media has been posted on my twitter 

Keep reading

Duodenary (1/7)

Summary:  Intending to return to Neverland after his quest for revenge comes to an abrupt end, Killian Jones finds himself in Duodenary, a realm whose existence allows Neverland, and the people therein, to live forever.  After months of trying and failing to find a way to go home, a princess comes looking to him for help. (Fantasy/Adventure AU)

Rated: M

Warnings: Language

Words: ~5k

Part: Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven

Notes: For @justanotherwannabeclassic​, who sent me the following: “Prompt: I’m feeling quite celebratory for the upcoming holiday, so Killian, Emma, and fireworks.”  I was thinking it would be fun to do it in a fantasy realm, and then this is what happened.  Love and gratitude to @high-seas-swan​, @literatiruinedme​, and @seastarved​ for reading it through, and again to @seastarved​ for helping me with the banner.  This story is complete, only in need of minor revisions.  I’ll be posting one part every other day.  I hope you like it!

Also on ff and ao3


Killian Jones, leathers and all, sits in a skiff in the warm waters of a shallow, coastal bay, preparing to step out where no one else dares.

The Jolly Roger is miles away, out on Clockwork Bay proper, where the great, circular current turns and turns, trapping any sailor fool enough to cross into the calm waters of the gyre.  The land of Duodenary itself is an atoll, divided rather equally into twelve counties, called Duos.  Down in the very southern – or six o’clock, that is, having spouted cardinal directions to the locals before, only to be met with complete and utter confusion – corner of the island, there’s a narrow outlet to the greater oceans.  They’re called the Pelagy, and they’re frightful seas.  When he’d first arrived months ago, intending to go back to Neverland after he’d returned to the Enchanted Forest, only to find the Dark One a distant memory, he’d nearly lost the Jolly Roger to the writhing waves.  The salts were incredibly potent, burning in his lungs as they’d sailed through a storm, and he’d known immediately that he wasn’t where he wanted to be.

Wanted, perhaps, being too strong of a word.

Keep reading

Q&A

A/N: Hello! Quick drabble for you guys that I had planned for a long, long, long time and finally remembered to write. Starring Little Nathan, Percy The Dad, and the problem of marrying a daughter of Athena.

Q&A

Percy was sitting by the kitchen table, trying to wrap his mind around his bloody taxes, when the scuffling of little stockinged feet distracted him. Nathan had woken up from his nap and dragged his still sleepy self to the kitchen. While he watched, his son climbed the chair beside his and stood on it, leaning on the table with his elbows.

“Hey, buddy, what’s up?” Percy greeted him.

“Daddy…” Nathan started, sounding troubled, “Can I ask you some questions?”

“Sure, son. Go ahead.”

“How does a camera work?”

“Oh, it’s really easy, bug, you hold it up, point it to the thing you want in the photo, and press the button!” Percy smiled at him, but Nate shook his head.

“No, daddy, I know how to take a picture. But how does it work? How does the photo get there?” he insisted.

Keep reading

… as Stephen rose to wave and hoot, Jack saw that he was dressed from head to foot in a single tight dull-brown garment; it clung to him, and his pale, delighted face emerged from a woollen roll at the top, looking unnaturally large.  His general appearance was something between that of an attenuated ape and a meagre heart; and he was carrying his narwhal horn…

Jack got him into the after-cabin at last… here he sat on a locker and gazed at Stephen’s garment.  It had been horrible at a distance; it was worse near to - far worse…
‘Stephen, will you for the love of God take off that thing?’
'My wool garment? You have noticed it have you? I had forgot, or I should have pointed it out. Have you ever seen anything so deeply rational? See, I can withdraw my head entirely: the same applies to the feet and the hands.  Warm yet unencumbering; light; and above all healthy - no constriction anywhere! Paris, who was once a framework knitter, made it to my design; he is working on one for you at present.’
'Stephen, you would favour me deeply by taking it right off.’

- Post Captain

This may just be the absolute best part of this book so far, as well as the fact that Stephen at this time reveals he has brought 60,000 live bees aboard the ship.

NOT QUITE NARWHAL Written and Illustrated by Jessie Sima

Growing up in the ocean, Kelp has always assumed that he was a narwhal like the rest of his family. Sure, he’s always been a little bit different—his tusk isn’t as long, he’s not as good of a swimmer, and he really doesn’t enjoy the cuisine. Then one night, an extra strong current sweeps Kelp to the surface, where he spots a mysterious creature that looks just like him! Kelp discovers that he and the creature are actually unicorns. The revelation leaves him torn: is he a land narwhal or a sea unicorn? But perhaps, if Kelp is clever, he may find a way to have the best of both worlds.


This is probably one of Maja’s all time favorite picture books, and when I’m busy at the bookstore, one of my favorite hand-sells!  It’s always easy to recommend a book when you love it and NOT QUITE NARWHAL is easy to love!

This is Kelp’s story.  Kelp has always been sure he’s a narwhal; his entire family is, after all.  But one night he breaches the ocean waves and what does he find but a strange land creature that looks just like him!  What could it possibly mean?  NOT QUITE NARWHAL explores the meaning of family and what exactly that big word means to us.  Do we pick our families, or are our families already chosen for us?  Do we define ourselves by our families, or who we want to be?  Sometimes the answer to both those questions is yes.