he's (not) funny

*Felix, steaming PUBG*

*reads the chat*

Felix: Jack is gay, two dollars.
Felix: I agree.

*concentrates on the game*

Felix: We were hanging out with Jack yesterday and he gets recognized all the fucking time because of his stupid green hair.

*a short pause*

Felix: I hope you’re listening Jack, I hope you are.

Felix: Wear a hat next time.

*continues playing*

Felix: He’s so nice.

Felix: Always approaching everyone “Top of the morning to ya, you want a picture? Let me take a picture with you, I would love- it would be my honor..”

Felix: and I’m like “i’m just gonna go here right now…..”

4
a rant

i don’t even know where I’m going with this because this happened to me 10 minutes ago but i need to RANT 
i was walking down the street minding my own business with my headphones in (UNIversal ‘don’t talk to me or i will fight you’ signal) and this guys comes up to me and tells me he thinks I’m pretty i accept the compliment and get ready to leave but then he introduces himself i shake his hand (and he doesn’t let go for about 45 seconds - red flag numero uno) and then starts small talking w me so i go along he then asks me- wait not EVEN asks, he just takes my hand to move me to the side of the sidewalk almost into an alleyway at this point I’m like no thanks i have somewhere to go he then insists i stay and I’m like haha really no i am afraid for my safety and then he just asks me if I wanna go back to his hotel room????

you know those “i have a boyfriend” memes? picking fun at girls who always think guys are hitting on them? there is a reason girls are so fast to fend off certain people, it’s to avoid situations like THIS. Because i was talking to him he interpreted it as me being interested in him?? 

so from now on whenever a stranger approaches me in the street wanting to say anything to me u best believe the first words out of my mouth will be NOT INTERESTED BYE THANK YOU THOUGH


EDIT: 

i am laughing