he wasn't in talks to do it

3 AM in the Boy's Dormitories
  • Ron: Hey Harry?
  • Harry: What
  • Ron: Do you think Voldemort was a virgin?
  • Harry: Seriously Ron-
  • Ron: I was just wondering-
  • Harry: *sighs* *pauses* In the Chamber of Secrets, the memory had him in 5th year...
  • yeah, he wasn't a virgin
  • Seamus: Imagine being the lass to do the frick-frack with ol' Dark Lord Voldy
  • Dean: The Gryffindor boy's dorm; the place where we can talk about sex with the Dark Lord but not say the word sex.
  • Seamus: *throws pillow at Dean*
  • Neville: *after pause* Doing the Do with You Know Who.
  • Ron: He Who Must Not Be Laid
A friendly reminder to my gentile friends re: Charlottesville

There are a bunch of posts going around about donating to local Charlottesville charities in the face of the hate march, and I think this is a great idea.


Do you wanna know an even better idea?


Donate in multiples of $18.


Here, I’ll explain!


Hebrew is a numeric language. That is, all of its words have a numeric value. If you’ve ever seen the movie π, by Darren Aronofsky, there’s a great scene with a Chasidic Jew who explains a little about this and shares a word problem that hinges on it. So there are lots of puns and things that don’t translate, because, well, even if English had numeric values, we can’t guarantee they’d be the same, you know?


So, let’s take a second and talk about chai. Not the tea, the Hebrew word: חי. Those of you who followed my conversion may know this is also (part of) my Hebrew name, in its feminine form: חייה. It means “life.” Chai, you can imagine, is a great word! Lots of kids named Chaim (male) or Chaya (female). “L’chaim,” or “to life,” is the traditional Jewish toast. Our most important holiday, Yom Kippur, features a greeting that translates to “may you be inscribed in the Book of Life.” We talk a lot about chai.


And chai, as you may have guessed, has a numeric value of 18.


It’s a very common Jewish practice to give cash gifts in multiples of $18. For Chanukkah last year I donated $36 to my nieces’ Hebrew school, $18 for each of them, without even a moment’s thought to sync up “what I can afford” with “what’s appropriate and meaningful.” My temple does their donation forms in multiples of $18, with a couple of nominally-normal numbers like $50. It’s one of those cool little cultural things. And I promise you, if Charlottesville gets flooded with $18 donations, the white supremacists and Nazis setting up camp there will notice, and they will know what it means.


Fight the 1488 with the 18.


Fight hate with life.



(Non-Jews, feel free to reblog and share this to other platforms. In fact I genuinely and unironically hope you do, because I’d love to see this take off among gentile donators who want a great, nonviolent way to offer a one-two punch.)

  • jared: what, you have a crush?
  • evan: ...
  • jared: oh my god you do! on who?
  • evan: Idontwannatalkaboutitimeanthemurphysaresointintimidating
  • jared: I heard 'murphy'! oh my god that's so sad, zoe murphy is so out of your league!
  • connor: [walking by]
  • connor: why the fuck are you talking about my sister?
  • evan: [freezes]
  • jared: because evan has a pathetic crush on her!
  • evan: jared stop talking!
  • connor: are you fucking serious?
  • jared: I know right? as if he has a shot with zo-
  • evan: oh my god jared I wasn't even talking about zoe!
  • jared: but you said 'murphy'!
  • evan: yeah, well, she's not the only one with that name is she!
  • jared: ...
  • jared: OH
  • evan: [blushes angrily]
  • jared: oh my god that's even worse
  • connor: wait
  • connor: ...
  • evan: ...
  • jared: I've never witnessed anything more awkward than this moment right now
dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier
  • dad: oh god it's starting shut up i've been waiting for this for months
  • (movie starts)
  • dad: THESE ARE THE BICEPS OF FREEDOM
  • dad: i don't know what's happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
  • me: how do you even know who macklemore is?
  • dad: i'm hip. i'm cool
  • me: don't you do it
  • dad: i'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
  • (five minutes later)
  • dad: is that the Falcon? that's totally the Falcon
  • me: how do you know?
  • dad: i used to read the comic books trust me on this i'm an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
  • me: birds?
  • dad: i mean in hindsight it probably wasn't the most useful thing ever
  • dad: if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody's ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi
  • dad: how the heck did he laser through concrete??
  • me: idk dad it's nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants
  • dad: i'm sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
  • me: what
  • dad:
  • dad: nick fury isn't dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
  • me: ew dad gross no
  • dad: i really relate to that apple store employee
  • me: we all do dad
  • dad: oh that's that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
  • me: dad good god
  • dad: he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
  • dad: not that guyliner isn't a good look for this guy
  • dad: when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it's 'he's so dreamy' and 'wow what a badass'
  • dad: but when i do it it's 'you're too old' and 'bald guys can't pull off make-up'
  • me: dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go
  • dad: so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger's best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
  • me: mmm-hm
  • dad: called it
  • dad: do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street...
  • dad: captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing
  • dad: in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
  • dad: i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, 'All I do is Win' blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone's ass
  • dad: scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don't know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i'm a schoolboy again
  • me: you know on second thought we should have brought mom
  • dad: where's hawkeye? where's bruce? where's tony? where's thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
  • me: maybe they figured steve could handle it
  • dad: maybe they're all lazy assholes
7

Rich: …The Squips did this to him. Threw him off his balcony. It’s a miracle he’s still…ya know?

It’s been three months…but I’m not giving up hope yet! Jakey D is tough as nails and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s just waiting for the perfect moment to wake up again…

Just. I’ll be here for ‘im, like always, ‘cause he’s my pal. The closest bro I got.

Klance April fools
  • As a way to trick the other Paladins Keith and Lance decided that they would act like the other for a day.
  • To do so they swapped jacked and personalities.
  • The first person to notice something was Pidge, she could hear someone training before breakfast and expected to see Keith but instead found Lance in Keith's jacket. She just walked away blaming it on the little sleep she got last night.
  • The second was Hunk, he was making breakfast for the rest of the group when Keith walked into the kitchen in Lances' jacket and started talking about random subjects. Hunk was scared out of his mind and had to keep checking Keith's temperature to make sure he wasn't sick.
  • Shiro and Princess however were attacked by concerned Paladins about Keith and Lances mental health. However not believing it to be a problem until.....
  • At dinner time Lance was sitting in his own extremely quiet a void look on his face. And Keith was flirting with Allura even using Lances signature hand guns.
  • That was the last straw for Shiro, he stood from his seat and asked the two what they were doing in front if everyone.
  • Let's just say Lance and Keith managed to convince the team that they had somehow managed to swap bodies which lead to being taken to Coran. Though just before any tests could be done they both start laughing and shout April Fools!!!
  • This earns them both cleaning duty from the team, though everyone is relieved that nothing is really wrong.

Day 2: Pets

Hogwarts AU! feat. Akaashi’s first owl and the poor Bokuto family owl.

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: Why do people talk about Jonathan Groff more than Okieriete Onaodowan? Jon left Hamilton months ago and is literally on stage for like 10 minutes. Oak has an amazing range and is the last original cast member. Why does no one talk about him. Why wasn't he nominated for a Tony. I need answers.
  • Lucius: So, does Draco have any girlfriends at Hogwarts?
  • Severus: Lucius, do you ever think that Draco might be...gay?
  • Lucius: Ha! Of course he's not gay. Sure, he talks a lot about Potter and sure, I've found men's underwear in his room that wasn't his, and sure, I've caught Potter leaving Draco's room before, but that doesn't mean-
  • Severus: Lucius?
  • Lucius: Fuck, he is gay...
  • Sam: Hey Jack, how's it going with the angel manual?
  • Jack: I'm not reading that anymore. It was supposed to be educational but it's just you two bitching about angels
  • Sam: Oh no, that's not true at all. Try Castiel's entry. I know, I know. Sixteen pages is a lot but we have known him a long time and-
  • Jack: There isn't sixteen pages. Some have been ripped out and this page has been super-glued in...'Castiel: Castiel is the most heinous useless piece of shit I have EVER met. He makes out like he's all innocent and doesn't know what he's doing. Giving you those Bambi-ass eyes and the kicked puppy look to MAKE you forgive him. As though he doesn't know what he's done?! If he doesn't HE SHOULD! And like, that guy wasn't even that hot. As if he didn't know he was flirting?! Right in front of my BEER! Recommended course of action when he does this, don't talk to him or explain what he did. In front of my BEER?! Anyway fuck it. Stats. Appearance: Dresses like he hasn't been able to see in years. Intelligence: Missing in action. Weaknesses: Whore'.
  • Sam: DEEEEEAAAANNN!
Lena brings the Reign on Supergirl Writers
  • SG Writers Room: Okay, so we're agreed that we're writing off Sanvers for no valid reason whatsoever and want to somehow focus on Mon El more even though he won't be there, but the LGBT backlash is going to be big, so what can do to queerbait them and keep them around instead?
  • Katie, bursting through the ceiling: How about you not queerbait like decent human beings and let Lena love a woman?
  • SG Writers: For the last time Katie, we're not making Supercorp happen! I thought the song we wrote and paid Jeremy to sing at SDCC made that quite clear.
  • Katie: ...I wasn't talking about Supercorp, asshats. Let Lena get together with Reign.
  • SG Writers: *laughs* Well, I must say...that's a nice change of pace from the Supercorp ringer you've been putting us through, but you can't just volunteer Odet-
  • Odette, bursting through the door: WOULD YOU LET HER FINISH?!?!
  • <p> <b>What she says:</b> I'm fine.<p/><b>What she means:</b> I'm so confused why Brendon and Ryan couldn't just literally come out and say Ryden was real. I mean, now, Ryan really misses Brendon and acts like he's his ex that he still loves, and Brendon's dodging his name like old timers in fandom drama. I also don't understand how Brendon could pretend he wasn't writing a hundred songs about Ryan and not make it obvious. Come on, I mean, "How I missed yesterday, how I let it fade away", "Being blue is better than being over it", "There's no sunshine, there's no you and me". Brendon and Ryan were so perfect for each other. And how come he only recently came out as sexually fluid? What happened in capetown so many years ago? Why does Brendon pretend like nothing ever happened, when he has totally kissed him, worn his shirts, his ties, his guitar strap the post-split performance, held up a sign that says "Ryden Exists" in big capital letters. There are pictures proving it! Also why Ryan flew to New York to Seattle just to see him so they could celebrate Ryan's birthday, without telling his girlfriend or anyone else. Ryan said "He's my boy. Always will be." In a tweet and never let him completely go. Does Brendon still love Ryan? Will they ever confront each other again? What did Ryan do? Why did they try to cover up the fact that She Had The World, When The Day Met The Night, and Northern Downpour were about their love? Were they scared what their fans would do? Why is Brendon so avoiding of Ryan's name? What could he have possibly done for it to be so terrible even talk about him for that long? Why can't we know what happened in capetown? Ryan told Brendon so much and almost loved him, while Brendon was obviously head over heels for him? Why are we left in the dark, aimlessly wandering, searching for an answer in this dark continuum that we may never find? Did something that wasn't consented both ways happen romantically? I know Ryden was real. I just know it. There's too much proof to not realize it. If you showed someone who had no idea what Ryden was or who they were a picture of them, they would immediately assume they were dating. Also, their Twitters. Ryan and Brendon were very close on Twitter, and they couldn't have done a better job of acting as gay as possible. Brallon, also. Do people think that this is some kind of replacement? I feel like Brendon just wanted to be all cute with Dallon to try and replace what he had with Ryan. This may or may not be true, but it's what I think. I can tell Brendon still misses Ryan and loves him deep down in his heart, and Ryan has the exact same feelings. I feel that I will always wonder as I lay in my bed late at night... "What happened in capetown... And why?"<p/></p>
  • Mingyu: Isn't this great? It's just like when we were younger. Remember that time- (starts rambling incoherently).
  • [Inside Wonwoo's mind]
  • Wonwoo One: Painting sure is fun.
  • Impulsive Wonwoo: You know what else is fun? Killing your best friend.
  • Wonwoo One: That doesn't sound fun at all, Wonwoo.
  • Impulsive Wonwoo: Well, how would you know?! All you do is read, Wonwoo!
  • Wonwoo Two: I think Wonwoo is right, we should branch out in our hobbies, Wonwoo.
  • Impulsive Wonwoo: Oh shit! Wonwoo, Mingyu stopped talking. He wants you to respond. Say something, stupid!
  • Wonwoo, aloud: I wasn't thinking about killing you.
  • Mingyu: Aw, thank you!
  • Impulsive Wonwoo: Nailed it.

okay but i want to know about the conversations that 100% happened between eva and noora after she came back from london and found isak home alone with a hot boy and then when said hot boy spent two nights in isak’s room a week later

Sleepy septic boys after a long day of doing stuff.

And then Anti drew dicks on their faces and Jackieboyman almost kills him for that. How dare he ruin that cute moment.

gneisscastiel  asked:

I have a head canon that Dean knows how to sew. John wasn't exactly a good homemaker so who else would have patched up Sam's pants whenever they got a hole in them? I just feel like its something he would have needed to learn on his own growing up to make clothes last longer because they didn't have a lot of money. I can't remember a time that this was ever alluded to in canon so that's why I called it a head canon, but do yo know of any evidence to support this?

I don’t think there’s ever a time where we see this talked about or shown, but it seems a pretty safe bet considering we’ve seen Dean doing pretty much everything Sam needed doing. Not only taking care of his brother (and stealing to make sure he eats) when they were kids while John was gone for days (and weeks), and checking to see that Sam has his lunch money

(from 4.13)

And talking about taking Sam to the emergency room (9.15) on his handlebars (when it was a break that couldn’t be fixed with a bit of sewing):

So clearly fix-up duty was a thing. 

But we also see Dean ironing (11.20) his adult brother’s clothes (albeit with beer): 

And it doesn’t seem to be a one-off occurrence considering Sam yells at him to quit ironing his shirts with beer. Shirts, plural. Which isn’t surprising that Dean does this, because it was probably a pattern established in childhood. Another job that needed doing so Dean took it on, and would have had to figure out how to make that happen if John wasn’t around. 

And we know Dean is good with his hands

So if sewing was something that needed doing, Dean would have taught himself how to do it. 

  • Gamzee's Mind: Painting sure is fun.
  • Another Gamzee: You know what else is fun?
  • Different Gamzee: Killing your best friend.
  • Other Gamzee: That doesn't sound fun at all Gamzee.
  • Different Gamzee: Well how would you know? All you do is swim Gamzee!
  • Another Gamzee: I think Gamzee's right. We should branch out on our hobbies, Gamzee.
  • Other Gamzee: Gamzee, Tavros stopped talking. He wants you to respond. Say something stupid.
  • Gamzee: I wasn't thinking about killing you.
  • Tavros: Aww, thank you!
  • Gamzee: Nailed it.
Sherlock and John talking about you
  • John: you like her don't you?
  • Sherlock: no, she is simply a colleague
  • John: who you went out with
  • Sherlock: we didn't go out, we simply had lunch
  • John: at a nice restaurant
  • Sherlock: it wasn't that nice
  • John: molly said you talk about her
  • Sherlock: it not that often
  • John: she said it's all the time, and Mycroft said that he saw you walking with her
  • Sherlock: we were only walking
  • Mary: it's never only walking. Walking leads to talking. What were you talking about
  • Sherlock: it wasn't a big deal. Only about our childhoods and our hopes for the future
  • John: it's not nothing. It's quite something actually, you hate talking about you childhood
  • Sherlock: I trust her
  • Mary: so how much do you like her? I'm not John, I can read you like a book
  • Sherlock: it's nothing serious. I only enjoy being around her
  • John: for now, it will escalate. You should ask her out
  • Sherlock: perhaps if it will get you off of my case
  • Mary: you really like this girl?
  • Sherlock: I suppose so
  • Mary: We'll get on with it. Now!