I adore your blog and absolutely obssesed with your new fanfictions! If you would have some free time, please, I beg you, write a story about Nesta and her leaving the Night Court without telling this Cassian - it would be soooo goood to read! I want angst!
Nesta sets off on her journey to seek justice against the human queens and leaves behind a piece of paper for the Commander who holds her heart in his scarred hands. Hope you enjoy this fic!
Parchment fluttered in the breeze on a small table underneath a book on war tactics.
It had been two hours since Nesta left the letter – or what should be deemed as a note considering how brief it was.
Those few short sentences were all she was able to write. Thanking Cassian for being with her on the battlefield. And lastly saying goodbye to him as she decided to leave Velaris.
Vassa had contacted the Night Court – or more specifically Feyre for assistance in concern to the queens who betrayed them to Hybern. The High Lady of the Night Court declined to personally join Vassa.
Nesta volunteered to go in her stead. Perhaps this would provide some relief from the pain Nesta had been feeling. The loss of her father and the soldiers she couldn’t save weighed heavy on her shoulders to the point Nesta imagined she would break at any moment.
It didn’t help knowing that everyone else in the Inner Circle celebrated immediately after the final battle. Nesta didn’t want them to see how the war had shattered her in ways she didn’t think were possible.
Weeks passed by and their laughter would always filter up through the House of Wind. Nesta felt more alone and ostracized than ever before. She wanted to be part of their circle. To be considered their friend and a member of such a close-knit group, but every time her fingers went to her bedroom door handle panic rose from her stomach.
Would they look at her in fear of her powers? Would they remind her of how she failed so many Illyrian soldiers in the war and let them die?
Worst of all Nesta was afraid of how Cassian would see her.
And so Nesta never left the room. It was better this way. Not to taint their happiness with her presence.
They were a family and Nesta was the stranger looking in. Even Lucien had entered the fold with much more ease than Nesta could have imagined. Azriel and Cassian welcomed him as both a fellow warrior and brother.
Nesta can clearly remember his laughter breaking through her depressed state. His deep voice coaxing her to come out even though he hadn’t called out to her.
The thought of it made Nesta cringe. Before the last battle they were finally becoming close. More than close if this thread that seemingly tied her to him was any indication.
But uncertainty clouded Nesta’s mind. She had heard what mating bonds were. Nesta still had yet to ask Feyre or anyone else if that is what she was currently experiencing.
Cassian didn’t appear to notice. In fact he failed to make an appearance more often then not when Nesta made the rare occasion downstairs for food.
Frustration, guilt and sorrow made Nesta’s blood run cold. The fact that Cassian was now ignoring her after their tender moment on the battlefield did nothing to soothe her worries that plagued her mind to begin with.
That didn’t matter now though as she crossed into human territory. It had been hours since she said goodbye to Feyre and Elain. Hours since she had left that note for Cassian in the foyer at the House of Wind.
It would more than likely be weeks before he even read it considering he was at the Illyrian camps. He had been working with the generals for almost a month now in re-arranging the soldiers and helping to train new recruits.
With a weary sigh Nesta entered a large clearing in the forest. A meadow of tall grass and wildflowers swayed in the breeze. From afar Nesta could see Vassa in the distance near a large boulder.
This was where they would begin their journey.
The moment Nesta took another step forward a loud boom echoed from above. The forest immediately quieted and the wind appeared to blow stronger.
As if a force of some kind was approaching.
Nesta turned around. Eyes scouting the sky toward the fae lands in search for whatever created that deafening noise.
Then she heard it. The sound of wings.
A dark shape shot through the clouds heading straight for her. Nesta’s eyes widened in shock as the large mass landed in front of her. The earth trembled under his feet as he righted himself and stood tall in the sunlight.
Nesta blinked as she silently watched Cassian stride toward her.
Sweat shone on his forehead and his chest heaved in heavy breaths. It was clear he made an effort to fly as fast as possible.
His eyes were intensely focused on Nesta. Burning with emotions that almost made Nesta’s knees tremble.
Instead she remained still. Nervously wondering what he would do.
“Shouldn’t you be on a freezing mountain with your troops?” Nesta asked without her voice cracking. A feat in of itself as her fists tightened to restrain the overwhelming need to go to him.
“Shouldn’t you be in Velaris hiding in your room or reading a romance novel?” Cassian tossed back. “Or the better question is why you left without a word?”
Nesta looked at him in confusion. “I told Feyre and Elain my plans. And I did leave with a goodbye if you failed to notice.”
It was then that Cassian unfurled his clenched fingers to reveal the parchment Nesta had left him.
“This,” Cassian raised the paper in his hand, “does not count as goodbye.”
Nesta swallowed at the sight of her writing in his calloused fingers. Could Cassian see how her heart bled into the ink as she wrote down words meant only for him to read? Or maybe he noticed that damned tear stain on the corner that she had been unable to stop from falling.
No matter the reason he was here now. Though she never expected he would fly out to – to what exactly? Why was he here?
“If you’ve come to criticize me then you should consider yourself lucky I even addressed a letter to you in the first place,” Nesta folded her arms in an effort to keep them from shaking. “I wasted precious time preparing for this trip just to write you a farewell that you can’t even have the decency to accept.”
“You’re right,” Cassian took a step forward. Then another. Nesta had to tilt her head up to look up at as he was an arm length away. “I can’t accept this.”
He folded the paper again and stuck it in one of the pockets that no doubt held a weapon or two inside.
“So you flew all the way out here to tell me that?” Nesta let a bit of bitterness seep into her tone.
Cassian smiled. The corner of his lips rose in a way that made Nesta forget that she was angry at him.
“No, I flew all the way out here to join you in search of the queens,” Cassian’s hazel eyes flickered with something Nesta couldn’t quite catch.
“And what if I told you that an invitation wasn’t extended to oversized bats who ought to fly back to train their troops and drink the night away with their friends.”
“Then I guess you’ll be having a handsome bat following you around until you can’t resist his charms.”
“Is that so?” Nesta turned her chin up. Eyes set in a challenge. “I’m sure the others will miss you. Why don’t you go home where you belong?”
Her tone was dismissive. Hardened into steel that was meant to cut and get the point across swiftly.
But Cassian saw through it. And Nesta hated how he suddenly noticed what she vaguely implied. His expression softened and his hand reached to her shoulder.
“Velaris is my home as much as it is yours Nesta,” Cassian gently squeezed her shoulder.
Nesta said nothing. She glanced away from the perceptive eyes that watched her far too closely.
“Besides,” Cassian’s voice lowered as he leaned in close. “I’m exactly where I belong. Right here. With you.”
A small tug in her chest made Nesta’s breath hitch. She shot Cassian a look. Hoping that he felt it too.
His face revealed nothing much to her disappointment. She should tell him to go. Cassian may leave if she requested it, but she wouldn’t put it past him to indeed hold true to his promise by following them during the mission.
With weary sigh Nesta turned to fully look at the Illyrian.
“Fine. But if you do one thing out of line–”
“Then you can punish me all you want,” Cassian winked and made his way to the boulder where Vassa was watching their interaction with veiled interest.
When Nesta turned to follow Cassian she easily caught up to his pace. Their strides matched as they walked the length of the field.
And it might have been her imagination, but Nesta could have sworn Cassian’s fingers grazed hers hidden between the wildflowers as they began their journey.
Together. They would do this together.