Was lily ever aware of how deep Severus’s feelings ran for her? How about afterlife lily?
I think she had some idea, and that it really scared her whenever she allowed herself to think about it. Because honestly, no one can live up to that amount of idolization in real life. Lily was a flawed kid. She was probably a bit prissy and quite a bit full of herself for being magical in a family of muggles. She probably also was popular and well-liked in general (kind of the generally popular girl type because she’s friendly and attractive looking and comes from an upper middle class family). I see Petunia’s obsession with class/propriety is tied to wanting to “outdo” her sister in this aspect. I also think that Lily knew of the power imbalance in their relationship (class, physical appearance, personality, etc), but that at first it didn’t bother her so much until she found other friends that she had more in common with and drifted away. Then it just highlighted the fact that Snape didn’t have the types of connections with other people and he clung to her because of that. I feel like a lot of Lily’s irritation with the other Slytherins had more to do with her justifying that he had friends like she did so that she could distance herself further. Meanwhile, Snape felt as though she was his world and the only person who actually cared about him as a PERSON and so he held on even more tightly.
I think that, in the end, she felt a great weight lifted from her when she had an excuse to sever their friendship.
Imagine a bare-faced Jungkook sitting alone in his computer chair, lips pursed, beanie in place, circle glasses slipping down his nose, just click-click-clicking away as he edits his Jimin clips from their Japan trip. Humming along to the background song. I’m soft.