he was just my father not my husband

Unarmed Father of Two Was Killed By Police

Laney Sweet is still talking about her husband in the present tense.

“He’s really funny, he’s really laid back,” she says. “He’s always the person to try and diffuse a situation, keep the peace.”

She says it’s nearly impossible to wrap her head around the notion that 26-year-old Daniel Shaver of Granbury, the father of her girls, is gone. He was shot and killed by a police officer Monday night at a La Quinta Inn in Mesa, Arizona, where he was staying for work.

“That’s what I keep saying,” Sweet says. “This is not my life, this is not my life. I’m 24. My husband’s gone. I’ve got two kids.”

Mesa police say Monday night, they were called to the hotel after people in the pool reported seeing a man on the fifth floor, pointing a rifle out of the window.

“They’re just really long guns,” Sweet says, telling us Shaver had pellet rifles with him for his pest control job.

Police say when they went to Shaver’s hotel room to investigate, he and another person came out, but then Shaver kept concealing his hands behind him, despite orders not to. Police say one of the officers felt threatened and shot Shaver. The officer had been with the department for two-and-a-half years, and is currently reassigned during the investigation.

Police say Shaver turned out to be unarmed. The pellet guns were found in the room.

“I just feel like there’s no reason possibly that could be justified for shooting him multiple times, and him dying in a hallway unarmed,” Sweet says.

There is video of the incident, police say, but it won’t be released yet. Sweet wants to know what it shows, why they didn’t use a Taser on him first, and what witnesses saw.


Fear for life is a common excuse for cops to kill and escape punishment. The uncomfortable feeling of fear has turned into comfortable loophole in law. That’s not right. It makes officers think that in every dangerous situation they may shoot and kill. “No human – no problem” principle is absolutely not appropriate for policing. Shooting while on duty should be limited by the law. Cops should value not only their lives.

The message below is taken from Sweet’s GoFundMe page:

I don’t think it’s normal to hope your father just dies. The amount of abuse that I grew up with for 18 years of my life is mentally breaking. I don’t think it normal to hear your mom cry everyday because of her husband. I fucking hate that I flinch at loud noises. My friends think it’s hilarious. I find it horrifying. I’m just waiting till he leaves the earth. To leave my mom, my sister and I alone.
—  Posted by Anonymous.
Family Life 3 Broken Bonds and Broken Glasses

There, this goes for the third chapter. The inspiration for this is quite simple, really, Robert was not my chosen character all through the series, but while reading Born to Endless Night and City of Heavenly Fire I started to, somewhat like him. I just… my father is my hero, totally and absolutely, and I can’t begin to imagine how terrible it must be not be able to count with your father. And, well, this mental image was just too cute not to give it a try, so here you have it!

I really hope you enjoy it!

Surprisingly enough, Magnus’ loft had survived the various and very diverse parties the warlock enjoyed hosting, it was particularly odd, then, that he feared the most that his house would have a severe explosion as an uninvited guest exactly when his husband’s family, decent and righteous shadowhunters, came to visit.

It was New Year’s Eve, and, as it had become somewhat often to see ever since Max had entered the family, the Lightwoods were dogged on spending the holidays together.

True to say, nothing of Magnus’ property had resulted victim of a sudden fire or explosion in the previous events, but he wasn’t bound to rest more assured only because of that, although Alec had easily taken in the deserved peace that the house had to offer, away from the Institute and Idris, as Maryse and Robert had tacitly accorded that Alec’s and Magnus’ place was no-man’s land and had successfully cohabited in it, doting the house with a relaxed and festive attitude.

This one time, Clary, Isabelle, Simon and Alec where sitting at the living room, glasses with soda and whisky placed in front of them —true was that Magnus could fear for his property, but he surely was not a stingy host and he liked serving for his guests, which meant that every time that his family-in-law dropped by to visit, they could find beverages with different and very various colors for them to drink, but the family really preferred not to know what those bright things could do to them, especially Simon, who had decided that, as it was impossible to refuse Isabelle’s invitation to go with her, he always presented himself in Magnus’ loft with a bottle of water and never trusted anything that the warlock offered to him if either Alec or Isabelle didn’t assure was safe before.

In the kitchen, talking animatedly, were Magnus and Maryse, and in between both rooms, Jace and Robert kept discussing something that sometimes seemed a battle strategy and sometimes a scold at Jace’s stubbornness.

What hung in the air was a nice atmosphere, homely, almost endearing, with animated conversations that filled the house with either laughter or sarcastic comments. Although it was also true that in the middle of the whole reunion, precisely the star of the party had decided it was naptime and had been successfully placed in his cradle by Magnus, the Chairman keeping watch safely in front of the door.

Around seven o'clock in the afternoon Jace and Clary announced that they were leaving to Jocelyn’s place to spend whatever was left from the day with her and Luke.

What cut Alec’s attention on what Simon was saying wasn’t even the fact that —as it happened more often than not— he had lost the younger boy’s rambling long ago, not finding himself able to link one of the things he was saying with the other, but the distant start of a cry he’d come to recognize so well in the last months that forced him to interrupt Simon and encourage him to list all those interesting reasons to go to the theatre and watch the new movie of Star Wars to Isabelle meanwhile he was busy with his very own responsibilities.

When he reached the light-brown door that designed Max’s bedroom he was surprised to find it slightly opened, the Chairman gone. He didn’t think any of it until he entered the room and distinguished a figure leaning down into the baby’s cradle.

“Father?” he asked, noting the way in which Robert —whom he hadn’t noticed leaving the reunion at all— let his right hand fall into Max’s bed and caressed the baby’s chubby face, to the young warlock’s delight.

“Alec!” Robert nodded, slightly surprised, only raising his head for a millisecond over his shoulder before turning back to his grandson. “He didn’t need anything” he started to explain. “Just called for attention, you know, like to know he wasn’t alone”.

Still puzzled by his father’s actions, but incapable of not recognizing the fondness in Robert’s voice either, Alec couldn’t help but smile himself.

“Alright then” the younger said, placing himself on the opposite side of the cradle from which his father stood, looking down at Max’s bright black eyes.

“You used to do that a lot when you were younger” Robert informed, smiling dreamily, out of place as it sounded. “Cry when you were left alone just so someone came to keep an eye on you”.

“I see” Alec nodded, feeling touched by the mere way in which his father looked down at his baby, tracing his childish features with the tips of his fingers, making the boy laugh cheerily and try to catch his grandfather’s hand. He inwardly cursed his own cockiness. Maybe Jace was right and the whole adoption thing had turned him into a softie.

“He has a beautiful laugh” Robert pointed out gently, finally raising his eyes to meet his son’s.

“He does” Alec nodded simply, returning the smile to his father, just before he brought both his arms into the cradle and raised Max, supporting the boy on his hip as he straightened himself.

They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, and time seemed to stop. Alec kept the smile in his lips, taking in the thoughtful expression of his father’s features until Robert’s smile slowly faded and he turned his gaze to the floor before raising it again almost shyly.

“I… Alec…” he started to stutter, before stopping to clear his voice. “I’m proud of you” he finally managed, smiling. “I know it doesn’t seem so most of the time, but I am, you’ve managed great things and I… I’m glad for you, Alexander, I am. When you were younger, I always thought that you’d be the greatest fighter, but then it didn’t happen. You became something better, bigger, greater. You became the bravest shadowhunter I’ve ever met” he assured clumsily, almost tripping over his own words. Immediately, Alec’s eyes softened.


“No, I’m serious” Robert cut him off. “You’ve done so great things with so little it’s admirable. And I’m proud of you”.

And so, neither could Alec help nor did he want to stop the smile that formed in his lips.

“Thank you” he said, almost whispering, somehow managing to say it all.

Robert smiled, more with his eyes than he did his lips and nodded solemnly; when he extended his hand for Alec to shake, the gesture didn’t even seem impersonal or too formal. It was already enough seeing how Robert had strained to get the words out for Alec to ask more from his father and, especially, what would he ask for when the one thing that he’d craved to hear for so long had already been said?

It was only then that Alec noted distantly that he could feel his eyes wetting and remembered the long-learned lesson that men weren’t supposed to cry. It was also then that he noted that Robert’s eyes were in the verge of watering too and both of them decided to fake their obliviousness.

What brought the two of them back to Earth was the sound of glass crashing and the immediate complaints of Magnus, reprimanding Simon for his carelessness and Isabelle’s attempts to defend his boyfriend.

“That clumsy vampire” Robert murmured turning to the door.

“True to say, he’s not a vampire anymore. He’s about to transcend, you know” Alec pointed out simply.

“Still” his father muttered. “One of these days he’ll be responsible for greater damages than broken silverware, I’m sure”.

“Good news the Force isn’t with him then” Alec said; when Robert turned looking at him inquisitively all he could do was hold back his laughter and deny with his head.

As they both directed to the living room again, Max still laughing in Alec’s arms although he had no idea of what his father was laughing at, Alec couldn’t help but think that a couple of broken glasses was nowhere near what he was bound to sacrifice to repair the broken bonds life had scattered over the years. Maybe broken silverware was even little compared to what they were getting in return.

Now, please tell me, how did that go.

 By the way, I’m part of thet 1% of people who did not watch Star Wars (don’t hate me). I watched one movie and that’s it, but, well, I’ve been watching the tarilers and it seemed proper to have Simon babling about the series. I’m considering watching it now that I’m older, but I’ve been wuite busy lately.

Anyways, this is going to be a multi-chapter story, so expect an update in around a week.

I’m also considering to open prompts for this story. Until now, I have around ten plots of my own, but, well, this are your characters too so, I’m thinking, how about if you have a mental image you want to see with these three or with their family and friends, you leave it in the comment section? You tell me if you’re interested.

Read you soon! ;)

anonymous asked:

Never took you for one of those larries who only love louis when its about larry .., how sad and disappointing.. Taht post you just reblogged is truly disgusting


this honestly has NOTHING NOTHING /NOTHING/ to do with larry or even harry for this matter. this is about IF louis is as thoughtless and careless as the media paints him out to be. if the father of my child went out clubbing after i has just given birth, EVEN IF HE WASN’T MY BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND, i would be livid. if he completely ignored me and his child after getting me pregnant i would be livid, whether he’s famous or not. IF all of this shit is true, and he went and got a random woman pregnant then fucked off and says nothing about his impending fatherhood or saying that he plans to have no responsibilities over break, it would make him a shitty person. i, for one, don’t believe any of this, because i don’t believe louis would do this, or act like this, BUT if it were true, i would be severely disappointed in him. this has absolutely nothing to do with harry or larry and the fact that people keep putting these two things together makes me angry. you need to think like logical people and realize these two don’t have to go hand and hand, and they can be completely separate entities. you don’t have to believe louis and harry are in a relationship to think this baby stunt is fake. all you have to do is realize how shady and inconsistent the story has been. 

like the post says, i will love louis as long as he’s a decent human being, and i know that he is. no person that donates so much time and money and effort into charities and caring so deeply about people would act this way towards his OWN child. he’s said so many times he wants children and he absolutely lights up around babies, and i don’t doubt he’d be an incredible father, but his attitude towards this baby speaks volumes. 

i will love louis as long as he continues to be a decent human being, and i don’t believe this is the real louis. i believe he’s better than this, and the media wants to destroy his image. 

anonymous asked:

I'm married but being with my husband makes me feel empty. I know he's not my soul mate. We're honestly not even friends but being 23 and divorced with kids is more terrifying than being in an empty marriage 😕

Being 23 divorced with kids and happy should paint a better picture then being with someone that makes you miserable. It will be hard at first, but you’re young and you deserve to be happy, your kids deserve to have a happy mother and father. You guys can work out custody, but you can’t punish yourself just because you’re afraid of divorcing someone so young. It happens , it’s not the end of the world. You’ll bounce back and will thank yourself in the future 💙

anonymous asked:

Analyze Will Treaty because Will headcanons are your JAM

How I feel about this character


All the people I ship romantically with this character

Well anyone really…if there was any good writing or headcanons to be seen about them. But either way: ALYSS, Horace, ALYSS, Gilan, ALYSS, maybe keren no just kidding ALYSS.

My non-romantic OTP for this character/b

Hands down Halt/Will…the father son-ness kills me everytime

My unpopular opinion about this character

I think that when Alyss taught Will to actually dance…he became a really good dancer.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish his proposal went better :P I wish he actually had kids. I wish there was more angst for him after he came off warmweed.

eternitywills asked:

Oh ho, look who thinks he's so smart. Fool. I would've rather ripped out my heart than stay in my 'father' and 'husband' roles at the time. Little do you really understand about context. You were not there -- you don't /really/ understand as well as you think you do. Like an animal, you have no soul and as a result you perform poorly in every way. You don't learn, you copy. Please do continue, if you'd rather not receive that pounding you so desperately desire from me.

      “You’re right, Vegeta. I don’t understand. It’s not a matter of ‘thinking’ I’m smart; your actions were completely contradictory to the ones I have personally witnessed. You were very willing to take up the ‘fatherly’ role when you lost your son for the first time; I need not mention that particular incident for you to know which one I mean, so to hear that you would have rather ripped out your heart than stay in those roles during a hard-won peace is perplexing. Please, enlighten me if I’m such a soulless animal. Don’t just insult me just because you’re prone to making foolish errors, and are frustrated at your utter incapability of learning from them.”

anonymous asked:

lucretia, I hope you're not tired of this

Hey, I like the challenge. And it keeps my brain going. Which you all are doing a good job at. You just want me to come up with good qualities for the villains, don’t you?

Do I like them: I have a confession. Cause yeah she’s a villain and murderer and all but I love Lucretia. Not as a person but just oh my God this character. She’s the kind I really want to write but she’s so awesome I don’t think I can do her justice. I’d say it’s the writing but it’s probably mostly Lucy Lawless because oh my God. Lucy Flawless.

5  good qualities:

1. Feminist killer queen.

2.  Dressing better than you since around 50 BCE.

3. Outmaneuvers everyone. Only has her husband see through her lies when it comes to Crixus. Gets away with murdering his father and he hasn’t a clue. Almost convinced him to murder his father himself. Also- surprise, Ilithyia! (Several times.)

4. Not here for your sexual harassment or emotional abuse (Solonius and Batiatus’s father respectively.) Doesn’t let people get away with murdering her best friend. Not that I encourage the method.

5. I’m not sure if she can say she manages not to fall apart after her husband and everybody is killed but that depends on if you think she was mad villainous before the massacre or after. So I’ll think of something else. 

3 bad qualities:

1. Well she does kill people. And send them off to be raped, whipped, etc. She doesn’t care about her slaves. They’re less than pets and more like favored fish that she can replace. But also… uh I’m just gonna not continue that thought because that’s where the metaphor falls apart. But you get the idea.

2. Jealous and possessive. Not just Crixus and Naevia (and Ilithyia), as I already touched on, But also feeling entitled to Ilithyia’s baby and then committing murder suicide. Damn.

3. Vain and cannot keep herself from spending things. I am not thinking of this because I’m watching an episode to refresh my memory of this one quote and appreciating her dress. Nope. But she does look fine.

Favorite episode/etc:  Season 1, episode 9. “Whore.” Just for that wham “Apologies, Licinia. It seems we have arrived before Ilithyia is finished with Spartacus.” and the end with “

otp:  Lucretia/Gaia. Lucretia/Ilithyia. I like Lucretia/Batiatus too but much less than those two.

brotp: Lucretia/Ilithyia frenemies forever.

ot3: Lucretia/Gaia/Batiatus. It’s canon.

notp: Lucretia/Crixus, Lucretia/Solonius

best quote: “Tell me I have been mistaken about you. Tell me you’re not the serpent I have thought you to be.” “I am not… I’m far worse.”

Honorable mentions:

“Your desires should not shame you. You are a woman. Our needs our vast.”

“Not every venture ends in climax.” “A fact well known to every woman.”

“Proper is a word forged by men who seek to enslave us with it.”

head canon: If Batiatus had divorced her, I imagine she would have married Solonius then murder the fuck out of him and take over his ludus and riches to get married to someone else. And also find some way not to fuck him.

Also Lucretia and Gaia were each other’s first lesbian experience back when they were younger but that’s nearly canon to begin with.

Not going to lie

Part of me hopes I’m not pregnant. I don’t think I can handle being pregnant after the last words my father in law said. “Amy is going to be a great mom”. It would kill me if he knew before I did, and he couldn’t make it to see his grandchild. I know death can do weird things to people, but if he somehow knew there was a child growing inside of me…I honestly don’t know how to deal with this. It’s all I’ve thought about since seeing that line. (I’m not mad if he knew before me, I just don’t know how to word it to make sense). I just wish my husband didn’t tell me my father in law said that because I’m just like….he knew. I’ve been crying so much the last few days, and this isn’t helping anything.

(@balleralert) This just tickled me…and then made me think. A father must teach his sun how to be a man. My king and I have hashed out words when I have stepped in because I felt he was being too harsh. I sometimes wonder if feeling a man-child is being dealt with “too harshly” by his father is a symptom of Willie Lynch??? Moreover, if a husband is met with resistance from his wife with parenting, is he in essence being castrated? How does the child perceive the relationship? I’ve learned to voice my opinions privately…it keeps the marriage happy. #thinkingoutloud Thoughts welcome. #Blackmen #Blackwomen #Blackpeople #Blackpower #knowledgeofself #Blackkings #Blackqueens #Kangs #Kweens #Blackgoddess #Blackgods #melanin #negus #Blackgold #poc #indigenous #aboriginal #Alkebulan #Blackliberation #Blackfamily #Blackfathers #Blackmothers #Blackchildren by nappynaturally
Find a Black Yoga Teacher


Ian just wasn’t having it on our way home. He insisted in going to take the R or M train. A solid and really loud tantrum ensued from across the street to our apt. door.

I’m so glad both Josh and I are on the same page about no hitting or spanking.

I was spanked and Josh wasn’t growing up.
We both agree is not necessary and inhumane to hit your children.

Patience is key! I chose the right man as my husband and father for my children.

I have a friend who hits and her husband disagrees. That to me is grounds for divorce.

I’ll make dinner while Josh sits and hugs my toddler through his tantrum. Next tantrum I’ll be my turn. Hugs always work better than a hand, a belt or a chancleta. The end!

anonymous asked:

What do you think about the names of your children? Seemed like Harry got to choose a lot, but was it anything weird that he wanted to name them where you had to put your foot down?

Ginny: there were definitely many long nights of arguing over naming the kids. My husband is a very stubborn man. I loved the idea of naming our first son after his father and Sirius. And naming our daughter after his mother. I actually suggested that one. But naming our second son after a teacher that I was afraid of during school… thats where I had to put my foot down. Eventually we settled on Severus for a middle name. That way, I rarely ever say it. And I just stick to calling Albus, Al.

Russell Crowe as Crius – Crius is the titan god of constellations. He was also known as the Southern Pillar and is hugely associated with the Ram/Aries constellation. Crius is the son of Gaia and Ouranos, husband of Eurybia, father of the titans Astraeus, Pallas, and Perses. He was also an ally of his younger brother Cronus during the castration of Ouranos and the Titanomachy, leading to his imprisonment in Tartarus after losing the War.

Jimin - baby diary

“_____’s dad! Look I found ______’s baby diary!” You made your way through the scattered toys, half belonged to your first 6 year old son, the other to your 4 year old daughter.
“Really? Oh my, it was just like yesterday when he was just a little baby” he said.
You began flipping through the pages reading some paragraphs and commenting on some photos. 
Today I told my husband Jimin the news of the new life forming in my stomach. His expression that was blank at first soon turned into a bright smile. He hugged me carefully, his eyes looking watery with happy tears. 
My mom had a similar reaction when Jimin and I visited her to tell the happy news, but unlike Jimin her tears were streaming down her face “I’m getting a grandson!” she beamed with happiness. 
“It’ll be a long journey,” she said once she calmed down “but I’m sure you two would do well,” she smiled as she wiped the remaining tears. Mom really likes Jimin. 
I myself cried a lot when the pregnancy test pointed positive. I was really nervous when we went to the hospital for checkups. I was glad everything was going well. 
Jimin burned with determination; he was saying he’d work hard to be a great dad. 
Maybe his determination affected me, or maybe it’s that the feelings of being a mother-to-be just got to me, but I’m really excited! I can’t wait to meet the child. 
The coming months are going to be very long. 
I’M CRAVING EVRYTHING, I really want to eat. Right now, I can make a list of foods I crave that’ll be like a restaurant menu. Jimin buys everything I ask for.
I really miss the taste of coffee, but I must eat healthy, to keep the child healthy. It doesn’t matter if I don’t get to eat some foods right now. If it’s for the baby.
Earlier today, Jimin and I went shopping for baby clothes! I was hardly stopping myself of squealing at the cuteness. I’ve always looked at baby clothes and wanted to buy some and I finally can. Jimin is really excited, he’s picking out clothes with me.
We then went for dinner and talked about the baby’s name, we didn’t settle on one yet.
I went to the hospital last week and I was told that the baby is healthy! And so am I. The doctor praised us; he said that I’m doing well. The baby’s figure is more visible now and my stomach is noticeably bigger and is a lot heavier. It’s like a reminder so I wouldn’t do anything dangerous while carrying this precious little soul. Jimin and I keep talking to the baby.
I feel so bad for Jimin. I hit him again, and to be honest I don’t remember why… Ah I’m so terrible! Teaching my son such behavior! 
I’ve also been complaining a lot recently; giving Jimin an earful when anything upsets me…sorry Jiminie <3! 
He just takes it so well it makes me even guiltier. I wonder how he manages to put up with me.
Today I went out with my best friend. She kept touching my stomach while the baby was hiccuping. She’s so excited, “I’m going to be an aunt!” She grinned like mom does. 
__-__-20__! ______’s birthday!
I delivered earlier this morning, I remember everyone rushing me to the hospital and Jimin holding my hand trying to calm me down. I delivered safely and naturally, I now understand mom’s pain.
But the best part of it all was finally meeting our son. It is amazing; I have been carrying him around for 9 months, but finally holding him in my arms makes being pregnant seem like a dream.
His plump small hands curled up into fists, and his closed eyes and red skin. He’s just too cute! I wonder how he’ll look when he grows up, will he look more like me or like his dad? Maybe not like either, but right now I want to treasure every moment of this. 
Taking care of the baby is really draining. Jimin is also really tired, I told him it was okay to sleep elsewhere since the baby wakes up a lot and Jimin has to work early, but he refused. Not like I wasn’t expecting this, but actually going through it makes me really thankful towards my mom, it also makes me admire her. 
I’m feeding our son real food today! Well not exactly, it’s mashed but still, his food is not limited to milk anymore. 
He rejected it at first and kept spitting it out, so I tried a different recipe and he’s actually eating it! I’m glad he likes it. 
Jimin kept trying to teach our son the names of things even though our son can’t speak anything other than “mama” and “daa” yet.
I was wondering why our son has been crying and drooling a lot more. Turns out he was growing teeth. Small pearly white teeth. He kept looking for things to bite so his dad bought him a colorful teething ring. How cute. 
It was really scary when my son almost crawled off the edge of the bed, I must be more careful. Ah I’m so relived he’s okay. 
Our son has taken a liking to rabbits, Jimin keeps buying more rabbit plushies. I know our son likes it, but it’s just too much, he’s going to spoil him.
Another milestone! ______ finally took his first steps! I can’t wait until Jimin comes back from work~ I’m so proud of our kid<3
This morning, we took our son to the beach. He was afraid of the water at first, so Jimin rolled up his jeans and carefully walked into the sea with _____ on his shoulders. Our son adores the sea now. He is also very artistic with building sand castles.
I also got a lot of good shots of Jimin and _____, my baby is so cute! Of course Jimine is still as handsome as ever.
“Mom! Dad!” You closed the book when you heard your oldest son yell; “yeah?” you answered smiling as your two kids entered the room. 
“Let’s go~ come!” Each child grabbed a hand of yours and pulled you, urging you to stand. 
“What’s so urgent?” their dad asked also smiling and standing up, “you too dad! Let’s go”
You followed your two kids to their room. “TA-DA!” They yelled in unison. 
There were a bunch of handmade crafts and a paper with ‘I love mom and dad’ there was also a drawing of the four of you. They drew Jimin like a king, you like a queen, your daughter as a princess wearing a pink ballerina dress, and your son obviously as a super hero.
“What a lovely surprise!” Your smile widened, “oh come here my children~” you kneeled down and hugged them both, their dad soon joining the hug. 
“But what were you looking at earlier?” Your daughter asked, “We were looking at your brother’s diary, how about we bring yours too and look at them together?” You asked. The two children brimmed with energy as they nodded their heads and pulled you back to the living room.

List Ten Favorite Characters, One Fandom Each (and then tag ten others to do the same.

Alright @sparrow-of-bowerstone you done asked for this and i’m anything if not punctual as hell. (i just dont know if i have ten different fandoms???)

  • First and foremost, right of the bat, Zevran Arainai (Dragon Age: Origins). Will always be my favorite character. Not just my favorite character, but the Alpha Favorite Character. I stg if he was a legit actual person I would put a ring on that. Y’all think I’m playing okay I already call him “the murder husband” okay don’t try me i will make him that if i could
  • Lavernious Tucker (Red vs Blue). Listen bruh Tucker is  EVERYTHING to me. his humor is so similar to mine and his character development has been so good and HE IS SUCH A GOOD FATHER AND I JUST. YES. MY TEAL HUSBAND (a very close second is locus. i love my stupid trash merc baby)
  • Pyrrha Nikos (RWBY). she deserves the entire sun and all of the shattered moon and every dull city star and every bright constellation of the skies of open fields. she is beyond words honestly
  • Cortana (Halo). I grew up on Halo and the Sims, so this is close to home to me. I absolutely love her voice, her design, her relationship with Chief. She was guiding me in those video games when I was younger and whenever I hear her voice or see a picture of her I feel so soothed and like she’s guiding me again. I’m p sure she’s the reason why i love the color blue so much
  • Natasha Romanoff (Marvel). My absolute weakness is female characters that are badass but are also people. Natasha is a character that I feel very connected to and have a high level of respect for. She was the first woman character I’d seen to make me think Empowered (though now i kinda see the sexism in the way Marvel treats her. I still am going to rep her though). Not to mention she’s inspired many of my own OCs.
  • Angharad (Mad Max: Fury Road). Speaking of Empowered Women, Ang brings a tear to my eye every time. She looked her fucked up world, her fucked up situation, she looked motherfucking death itself in the face and she stood up to it all not just to free herself but to free other girls as well. She is honestly such a powerful woman, and not in the way of punches and shooting guns but in the way of how she moves people spiritually.
  • Spock (Star Trek). I love my sassy, smart, rebel alien child. I prefer his tos version but i guess the actor for his reboot version is pretty so it helps
  • Ezio Auditore (Assassins Creed: Brotherhood; Assassins Creed 2). Have I mentioned how much I love my assassin boyfriends? I love my assassin boyfriends. I think the AC series could do with a lot more diversity and respect for its female characters, but Ezio is my favorite by far. He’s charming, his gameplay was the most fun, his storyline was the best written (in my opinion), and helloooooo sexy lip scar!
  • Wednesday Addams (The Addams Family). I GOTTA REPRESENT MY OWN CHARACTER AIGHT. I got cast as her for the Spring Musical The Addams Family and now y’all know my acting study has gotta be up on top because i cannot be the damn embarrassment of the cast when I’m the fucking lead (funny story, i actually got the leading role accidentally. i auditioned for a background character and as i was sitting there a week later doing callbacks for said background character the director noticed me and threw me in with the Wednesday callbacks at the last minute. did the Wednesday callback. got the part later. que panic. que excitement. que panic again. que “i will not fail you”)
  • Beth (Every Other Day). SUBVERT THOSE GENDER STEREOTYPES, BETH. nah but forreal tho i feel like the book itself could have been less tropey, but Beth was an amazing character and I started shipping her with Kali almost immediately.

And now I tag:

@iwearabagtoschool @chickentikkimasala @the-pigeon-king @slytherinbunny @xspiritofthemapleleaf @xrayandvavin @mchowelley @yall-motherfuckers-need-levihan @sharkrunaway @antivanpariah

Friday, 22nd January '16

Finally got my membership. 😊
Skipped gym yesterday because I got a surprise visit by my husband. He brought some new components for our computer, including new green led fans. Looks lovely and my father couldn’t be happier. 😄
Today we did arms and core. An hour passes by so fast it feels like I didn’t do anything and just started. At least I’m getting better and in a week or two I’ll probably be able to go on my own. Surprisingly my anxiety didn’t do any harm yet and I feel somewhat comfortable in the gym. Except I’m cold all the time, no matter what I do I don’t sweat, insted I start freezing.⛄ Maybe the multi-vitamins I got can somehow help, idk.

I’m off to bed, work is waiting😧
Enjoy your Friday guys💕✌🌙

Our New Little Family

Last night, we had our ~weekly phone call with my in-laws. We talked about all the usual. After awhile, we got onto the topic of Baby R but I had to go to the bathroom. I heard my father-in-law get various serious as he asks, “Just to be clear, when *my name* goes into labor, you don’t want us at the hospital. And how long are we to wait before we come for a visit?” I heard my husband, confidently, say “That’s correct and we want you to wait two weeks.”

I am so proud of him for taking care of it. More than that though, I realize I’ve been focusing on the wrong things. I have been so caught up on what I DON’T want. Like house guests while I’m leaking all sorts of fluids. But, last night, I realized what I do want: my husband, our baby, and I figuring things out. Being a family as we take in all that comes along with parenthood in those first two weeks.

This is going to be such a huge and beautiful experience. I just want to savor it and keep it for ourselves.

Realizing that we will get a whole two weeks or so to do this - because husband is able to stay home during that time - means the world to me. I’m so ready to move on to this next phase in our life.

So I met a new friend (Pete) this year who happens to be my student too. He’s the founder and CEO of an animation company named 1toon Animation. He’s also a father of two-year-old Tony, and the husband of Maggie, another nice and easygoing student of mine. What astounds me enough to include this in my e-journal, is that Pete’s a shockingly generous Chinese in my book (I do know quite a number of them). He’s repeatedly treated myself and people around me to all kinds of goodies from movies to dinner. As you try to even the scales, they just get more unbalanced because he’s always ‘one-uping’ you. I’d say it’s like you’re quickly building up a 'debt of love’. It’s a strange and unfamiliar sensation to be treated like a VIP/bestie/boss/object of affection all the time. Its a bit like being wooed i guess but for what reason? I feel like my spidey senses aren’t working like they used to because I’m quite lost and confused here… I’m not used to this level of nice overload! What do I do?

If I Could Turn Back Time

What the fuck am I still doing awake? Every time I look at my last post and the things I’ve said, I cry. Then, I think about it and the tears well up in my eyes, my chin start to quiver and I cry. My husband knows I cry, and he says, “I’m sorry I can’t make you better.” He doesn’t know what it’s like to lose a father. The truth is, I do miss my dad every single day… every minute, every second. Not just the good memories but the bad ones too. I wish people made better choices, and I wish they would realize that in the bad choices they choose… it’s the families who have to deal with the outcomes.

I don’t talk to the mother anymore. I don’t call my brother’s anymore. I’ve tried in the last few days on #1 and I can hear it in his voice that he doesn’t want to talk, and that’s fine by me. I’ve completely distanced myself with my family, and burnt unrepairable bridges and said some really fucked up things, but those things are true things… and it’s just a lot of stuff. I really don’t have many to turn to because I am so broken. I have mentioned this on facebook and sure it’s nice to get likes and hearts, but what is even better is for somebody to message me and tell me I’m here for you, and here is the solution. 

The solution is GO TO FUCKING THERAPY. The solution is ‘focus’ on the good. The solution is 'try’ and not to have anxiety about the future. The solution is, if they want to be in your life they will make an effort, and if they don’t let them be.. and in the end,  be okay with it… but, I am NOT OKAY WITH IT. I am not okay with that fact that everybody don’t call or text or message me… that they think Angel did no wrong.. I mean sure some think he was a piece of shit, but they stand by him because they have good memories of him. I don’t have good memories of him… sure he was a good older brother until something had to have happened and he changed and he focused in on me.

I would do anything to go back and tattle on him and tell dad what he asked me. I KNOW it’s not my fault that he raped me… it’s just … life would be SO much fucking easier if it never happened. I wouldn’t be sitting here crying and wiping snot from my face because my dad chose to ignore my mom’s confession to him that he touched me. He chose to turn a blind eye and not be a dad or a parent and that is what continuously fucks with me and I fucking hate it. I shouldn’t have to be crying and typing this at one in the morning. I should be asleeo because I have to wake up in seven hours and get ready and go to work for six. I wish things were better, and I was better and not crying over such things that continuously break my apart every other minute. 

It’s not fair that I sit here and crying over a dead piece of shit who still lives in my head. Who I can’t forget what he did to me, and how he treated me, and how he made me feel… why can’t I get over the fact that he’s dead, and can’t possibly hurt me again. It’s not fair that my dad chose to drink until he died and I have to deal with the consequences. It’s not fair that my mom would rather drink and smoke weed and watch television and piss and moan about how hard her life is. 

It’s not fair, and I’d like to stop crying now.

can i just say how excited i am for my husband to become a father. like im so excited to become a mother one day inshaAllah but I’m even more excited to see my husband’s eyes light up when he holds our child for the first time and when he plays with it’s little fingers and toes and teaches it all the lovely things that he knows