he was ahead of his time man

Rumple’s Quest & Beauty

Whatever Rumple’s important quest is this season, it’s wrapped up in Belle and his family. Weaver is a man on a mission, and he will not be distracted from his goals. Whether he’s there to help Henry, help Wish!Hook find his daughter, for something to do with Belle, or a combination of those things, we don’t know–and that’s what I love about Rumple. His agenda is always HIS AGENDA.

Based on the brief scenes from the promo, I suspect Rumple knew the curse was coming ahead of time and made preparations to be woken by Alice, just as he made preparations to be woken by Emma’s name. The fact that he asked Alice and that she’s his informant in their cursed world, makes me more suspicious that she’s Emma and Hook’s future daughter. And the fact that she shouts his name at him in the promo “Rumplestiltskin!” makes me wonder if Rumple is the Season 7 savior, just as Emma was the savior name that woke him up back in Season 1.

I know there have already been tons of posts about Beauty, so I won’t go over all of it again. It’s been hyped so much and by so many trusted sources–Emilie de Ravin, Giles Matthey, Colin O’Donoghue, Rose Reynolds, A&E, writers, entertainment reporters–I’m sure we’re going to see several romantic Rumbelle scenes and lovely Gold family scenes.

Beyond the happy moments and catching up on my OTP, I don’t really want to know anything more until I see it onscreen. Whatever happens does, and regardless of decisions made in the writers’ room, Rumbelle is forever in my heart and belongs to their fans for all time.

TIMELESS LOVE STORY, YA’LL. Peace.

I know it’s easy to keep stereotyping Yoongi as cold/lazy/cut off kind of person but sometimes i think it gets to a point where it’s wrong and hurtful in the fandom. And so here’s a list of reasons Min Yoongi is a warm, hard working individual with a personality that is multi-faceted and beautiful.

  • was a member of the student council when he was in school and was always helping people who approached him and writing them encouraging messages, contrary to popular ‘bad boy’ image belief.
  • works into late hours of the night, even goes without sleeping when he’s concentrating on composing a new song/lyrics and spends hours on end in the studio
  • on that note, it is said he recorded the way he said ‘bulteorune’ about 200 times before he was satisfied with how it sounded
  • despite not being the lead dancer, is almost never criticized for his dance skills because he clearly works hard on it, whether or not he’s the best
  • again, a side note that he spent his birthday with hoseok practicing dance that hoseok taught him
  • his stage presence is full of energy and he even kneeled down and bowed for a good minute of stage when he knew his parents were in the crowd, and otherwise also displays emotions on stage, including crying
  • gets shy and touched when members throw him a surprise birthday party
  • extremely considerate of what fans think/feel, unlike a lot of other idols. he’s responsible enough to know the effect his words have on fans and therefore constantly promotes a healthy body image, saying he doesn’t have ideal an outfit/weight/height/personality type
  • that time he spent his own money to buy personal gifts/write different messages for 300+ fans on his birthday, and then did it again the next year too
  • branching off to the time when he got asked on a radio interview what he’d do with the royalties of the songs he produced (jump/tomorrow) and he replied that he’d take the band and stuff out for lunch with his own money
  • that time he bought all the kids in bts ice cream without asking and won them toys in AHL and they were so happy about it
  • that time hoseok wasn’t eating because he lost and yoongi said he couldn’t eat if his dongsaegs weren’t eating and that he was full just watching him eat, giving him his share of food
  • doesn’t care that he’s not a good singer and sings loudly and shamelessly when he’s in the mood
  • the new years day yoongi didn’t spend with own family just because hoseok was lonely in the dorms
  • that one time jungkook jumped on yoongi and hugged him and yoongi looked like he might just die from happiness
  • when he laughs when something is too funny and no noise comes out and he claps around like a seal and it’s so so adorable
  • said he likes smart girls who he could have long conversations with/hear her stories and she was good with computers
  • actually gets super flattered and smug when people find his sass funny
  • that time they were on running man and had to run for boxes and ran so fast he was far ahead of even jungkook
  • that time namjoon was supposed to perform on stage and yoongi was deadpan the whole performance until it was namjoon’s turn, and then he has laughing and singing and screaming and being super supportive
  • once when the members were just annoying jungkook a little and yoongi sensed jungkook felt a little sad so he wordlessly reached out to him and petted him and said ‘I think he’s adorable’
  • on that note, always sensing the members discomfort/sadness and being a silent supporter and saying encouraging things to make them feel better
  • never holds back of compliments. ever.
  • he is a wonderful, multi-faceted man with emotions other than being ‘dead inside’ and loves the people around him so much and is full of appreciation and support for them and endlessly a source of strength for them.
Dead Fandoms, Part 3

Read Part One of Dead Fandoms here. 

Read Part Two of Dead Fandoms here. 

Before we continue, I want to add the usual caveat that I actually don’t want to be right about these fandoms being dead. I like enthusiasm and energy and it’s a shame to see it vanish.


Mists of Avalon

Remember that period of time of about 15 years, where absolutely everybody read this book and was obsessed with it? It could not have been bigger, and the fandom was Anne Rice huge, overlapping for several years with USENET and the early World Wide Web…but it’s since petered out. 

Mists of Avalon’s popularity may be due to the most excellent case of hitting a demographic sweet spot ever. The book was a feminist retelling of the Arthurian Mythos where Morgan Le Fay is the main character, a pagan from matriarchal goddess religions who is fighting against encroaching Christianity and patriarchal forms of society coming in with it. Also, it made Lancelot bisexual and his conflict is how torn he is about his attraction to both Arthur and Guinevere.

Remember, this novel came out in 1983 – talk about being ahead of your time! If it came out today, the reaction from a certain corner would be something like “it is with a heavy heart that I inform you that tumblr is at it again.”

Man, demographically speaking, that’s called “nailing it.” It used to be one of the favorite books of the kind of person who’s bookshelf is dominated by fantasy novels about outspoken, fiery-tongued redheaded women, who dream of someday moving to Scotland, who love Enya music and Kate Bush, who sell homemade needlepoint stuff on etsy, who consider their religious beliefs neo-pagan or wicca, and who have like 15 cats, three of which are named Isis, Hypatia, and Morrigan.

This type of person is still with us, so why did this novel fade in popularity? There’s actually a single hideous reason: after her death around 2001, facts came out that Marion Zimmer Bradley abused her daughters sexually. Even when she was alive, she was known for defending and enabling a known child abuser, her husband, Walter Breen. To say people see your work differently after something like this is an understatement – especially if your identity is built around being a progressive and feminist author.


Robotech

I try to break up my sections on dead fandoms into three parts: first, I explain the property, then explain why it found a devoted audience, and finally, I explain why that fan devotion and community went away. Well, in the case of Robotech, I can do all three with a single sentence: it was the first boy pilot/giant robot Japanimation series that shot for an older, teenage audience to be widely released in the West. Robotech found an audience when it was the only true anime to be widely available, and lost it when became just another import anime show. In the days of Crunchyroll, it’s really hard to explain what made Robotech so special, because it means describing a different world.

Try to imagine what it was like in 1986 for Japanime fans: there were barely any video imports, and if you wanted a series, you usually had to trade tapes at your local basement club (they were so precious they couldn’t even be sold, only traded). If you were lucky, you were given a script to translate what you were watching. Robotech though, was on every day, usually after school. You want an action figure? Well, you could buy a Robotech Valkyrie or a Minmei figure at your local corner FAO Schwartz. 

However, the very strategy that led to it getting syndicated is the very reason it was later vilified by the purists who emerged when anime became a widespread cultural force: strictly speaking, there actually is no show called “Robotech.” Since Japanese shows tend to be short run, say, 50-60 episodes, it fell well under the 80-100 episode mark needed for syndication in the US. The producer of Harmony Gold, Carl Macek, had a solution: he’d cut three unrelated but similar looking series together into one, called “Robotech.” The shows looked very similar, had similar love triangles, used similar tropes, and even had little references to each other, so the fit was natural. It led to Robotech becoming a weekday afternoon staple with a strong fandom who called themselves “Protoculture Addicts.” There were conventions entirely devoted to Robotech. The supposed shower scene where Minmei was bare-breasted was the barely whispered stuff of pervert legend in pre-internet days. And the tie in novels, written with the entirely western/Harmony Gold conception of the series and which continued the story, were actually surprisingly readable.

The final nail in the coffin of Robotech fandom was the rise of Sailor Moon, Toonami, Dragonball, and yes, Pokemon (like MC Hammer’s role in popularizing hip hop, Pokemon is often written out of its role in creating an audience for the next wave of cartoon imports out of insecurity). Anime popularity in the West can be defined as not a continuing unbroken chain like scifi book fandom is, but as an unrelated series of waves, like multiple ancient ruins buried on top of each other (Robotech was the vanguard of the third wave, as Anime historians reckon); Robotech’s wave was subsumed by the next, which had different priorities and different “core texts.” Pikachu did what the Zentraedi and Invid couldn’t do: they destroyed the SDF-1.


Legion of Super-Heroes

Legion of Superheroes was comic set in the distant future that combined superheroes with space opera, with a visual aesthetic that can best be described as “Star Trek: the Motion Picture, if it was set in a disco.” 

I’ve heard wrestling described as “a soap opera for men.” If that’s the case, then Legion of Super-Heroes was a soap opera for nerds. The book is about attractive 20-somethings who seem to hook up all the time. As a result, it had a large female fanbase, which, I cannot stress enough, is incredibly unusual for this era in comics history. And if you have female fans, you get a lot of shipping and slashfic, and lots of speculation over which of the boy characters in the series is gay. The fanon answer is Element Lad, because he wore magenta-pink and never had a girlfriend. (Can’t argue with bulletproof logic like that.) In other words, it was a 1970s-80s fandom that felt much more “modern” than the more right-brained, bloodless, often anal scifi fandoms that existed around the same time, where letters pages were just nitpicking science errors by model train and elevator enthusiasts.

Legion Headquarters seemed to be a rabbit fuck den built around a supercomputer and Danger Room. Cosmic Boy dressed like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror. There’s one member, Duo Damsel, who can turn into two people, a power that, in the words of Legion writer Jim Shooter, was “useful for weird sex…and not much else.”

LSH was popular because the fans were insanely horny. This is, beyond the shadow of a doubt, the thirstiest fandom of all time.  You might think I’m overselling this, but I really think that’s an under-analyzed part of how some kinds of fiction build a devoted fanbase.  

For example, a big reason for the success of Mass Effect is that everyone has a favorite girl or boy, and you have the option to romance them. Likewise, everyone who was a fan of Legion remembers having a crush. Sardonic Ultra Boy for some reason was a favorite among gay male nerds (aka the Robert Conrad Effect). Tall, blonde, amazonian telepath Saturn Girl, maybe the first female team leader in comics history, is for the guys with backbone who prefer Veronica over Betty. Shrinking Violet was a cute Audrey Hepburn type. And don’t forget Shadow Lass, who was a blue skinned alien babe with pointed ears and is heavily implied to have an accent (she was Aayla Secura before Aayla Secura was Aayla Secura). Light Lass was commonly believed to be “coded lesbian” because of a short haircut and her relationships with men didn’t work out. The point is, it’s one thing to read about the adventures of a superteam, and it implies a totally different level of mental and emotional involvement to read the adventures of your imaginary girlfriend/boyfriend.  

Now, I should point out that of all the fandoms I’ve examined here, LSH was maybe the smallest. Legion was never a top seller, but it was a favorite of the most devoted of fans who kept it alive all through the seventies and eighties with an energy and intensity disproportionate to their actual numbers. My gosh, were LSH fans devoted! Interlac and Legion Outpost were two Legion fanzines that are some of the most famous fanzines in comics history.

If nerd culture fandoms were drugs, Star Wars would be alcohol, Doctor Who would be weed, but Legion of Super-Heroes would be injecting heroin directly into your eyeballs. Maybe it is because the Legionnaires were nerdy, too: they played Dungeons and Dragons in their off time (an escape, no doubt, from their humdrum, mundane lives as galaxy-rescuing superheroes). There were sometimes call outs to Monty Python. Basically, the whole thing had a feel like the dorkily earnest skits or filk-singing at a con. Legion felt like it’s own fan series, guest starring Patton Oswalt and Felicia Day.

It helped that the boundary between fandom and professional was incredibly porous. For instance, pro-artist Dave Cockrum did covers for Legion fanzines. Former Legion APA members Todd and Mary Biernbaum got a chance to actually write Legion, where, with the gusto of former slashfic writers given the keys to canon, their major contribution was a subplot that explicitly made Element Lad gay. Mike Grell, a professional artist who got paid to work on the series, did vaguely porno-ish fan art. Again, it’s hard to tell where the pros started and the fandom ended; the inmates were running the asylum.

Mostly, Legion earned this devotion because it could reward it in a way no other comic could. Because Legion was not a wide market comic but was bought by a core audience, after a point, there were no self-contained one-and-done Legion stories. In fact, there weren’t even really arcs as we know it, which is why Legion always has problems getting reprinted in trade form. Legion was plotted like a daytime soap opera: there were always five different stories going on in every issue, and a comic involved cutting between them. Sure, like daytime soap operas, there’s never a beginning, just endless middles, so it was totally impossible for a newbie to jump on board…but soap operas know what they are doing: long term storytelling rewards a long term reader.

This brings me to today, where Legion is no longer being published by DC. There is no discussion about a movie or TV revival. This is amazing. Comics are a world where the tiniest nerd groups get pandered to: Micronauts, Weirdworld, Seeker 3000, and Rom have had revival series, for pete’s sake. It’s incredible there’s no discussion of a film or TV treatment, either; friggin Cyborg from New Teen Titans is getting a solo movie. 

Why did Legion stop being such a big deal? Where did the fandom that supported it dissolve to? One word: X-Men. Legion was incredibly ahead of its time. In the 60s and 70s, there were barely any “fan” comics, since superhero comics were like animation is today: mostly aimed at kids, with a minority of discerning adult/teen fans, and it was success among kids, not fans, that led to something being a top seller (hence, “fan favorites” in the 1970s, as surprising as it is to us today, often did not get a lot of work, like Don MacGregor or Barry Smith). But as newsstands started to push comics out, the fan audience started to get bigger and more important…everyone else started to catch up to the things that made Legion unique: most comics started to have attractive people who paired up into couples and/or love triangles, and featured extremely byzantine long term storytelling. If Legion of Super-Heroes is going to be remembered for anything, it’s for being the smaller scale “John the Baptist” to the phenomenon of X-Men, the ultimate “fan” comic.

The other thing that killed Legion, apart from Marvel’s Merry Mutants, that is, was the r-word: reboots. A reboot only works for some properties, but not others. You reboot something when you want to find something for a mass audience to respond to, like with Zorro, Batman, or Godzilla.

Legion, though, was not a comic for everybody, it was a fanboy/girl comic beloved by a niche who read it for continuing stories and minutiae (and to jack off, and in some cases, jill off). Rebooting a comic like that is a bad idea. You do not reboot something where the main way you engage with the property, the greatest strength, is the accumulated lore and history. Rebooting a property like that means losing the reason people like it, and unless it’s something with a wide audience, you only lose fans and won’t get anything in return for it. So for something like Legion (small fandom obsessed with long form plots and details, but unlike Trek, no name recognition) a reboot is the ultimate Achilles heel that shatters everything, a self-destruct button they kept hitting over and over and over until there was nothing at all left.


E. E. Smith’s Lensman Novels

The Lensman series is like Gil Evans’s jazz: it’s your grandparents’ favorite thing that you’ve never heard of. 

I mean, have you ever wondered exactly what scifi fandom talked about before the rise of the major core texts and cultural objects (Star Trek, Asimov, etc)? Well, it was this. Lensmen was the subject of fanfiction mailed in manilla envelopes during the 30s, 40s, and 50s (some of which are still around). If you’re from Boston, you might recognize that the two biggest and oldest scifi cons there going back to the 1940s, Boskone (Boscon, get it?) and Arisia, are references to the Lensman series. This series not only created space opera as we know it, but contributed two of the biggest visuals in scifi, the interstellar police drawn from different alien species, and space marines in power armor.

My favorite sign of how big this series was and how fans responded to it, was a great wedding held at Worldcon that duplicated Kimball Kinnison and Clarissa’s wedding on Klovia. This is adorable:

The basic story is pure good vs. evil: galactic civilization faces a crime and piracy wave of unprecedented proportions from technologically advanced pirates (the memory of Prohibition, where criminals had superior firearms and faster cars than the cops, was strong by the mid-1930s). A young officer, Kimball Kinnison (who speaks in a Stan Lee esque style of dialogue known as “mid-century American wiseass”), graduates the academy and is granted a Lens, an object from an ancient mystery civilization, who’s true purpose is unknown.

Lensman Kinnison discovers that the “crime wave” is actually a hostile invasion and assault by a totally alien culture that is based on hierarchy, intolerant of failure, and at the highest level, is ruled by horrifying nightmare things that breathe freezing poison gases. Along the way, he picks up allies, like van Buskirk, a variant human space marine from a heavy gravity planet who can do a standing jump of 20 feet in full space armor, Worsel, a telepathic dragon warrior scientist with the technical improvisation skills of MacGyver (who reads like the most sadistically minmaxed munchkinized RPG character of all time), and Nandreck, a psychologist from a Pluto-like planet of selfish cowards.

The scale of the conflict starts small, just skirmishes with pirates, but explodes to near apocalyptic dimensions. This series has space battles with millions of starships emerging from hyperspacial tubes to attack the ultragood Arisians, homeworld of the first intelligent race in the cosmos. By the end of the fourth book, there are mind battles where the reflected and parried mental beams leave hundreds of innocent bystanders dead. In the meantime we get evil Black Lensmen, the Hell Hole in Space, and superweapons like the Negasphere and the Sunbeam, where an entire solar system was turned into a vacuum tube.

It’s not hard to understand why Lensmen faded in importance. While the alien Lensmen had lively psychologies, Lensman Kimball Kinnison was not an interesting person, and that’s a problem when scifi starts to become more about characterization. The Lensman books, with their love of police and their sexism (it is an explicit plot point that the Lens is incompatible with female minds – in canon there are no female Lensmen) led to it being judged harshly by the New Wave writers of the 1960s, who viewed it all as borderline fascist military-scifi establishment hokum, and the reputation of the series never recovered from the spirit of that decade.


Prisoner of Zenda

Prisoner of Zenda is a novel about a roguish con-man who visits a postage-stamp, charmingly picturesque Central European kingdom with storybook castles, where he finds he looks just like the local king and is forced to pose as him in palace intrigues. It’s a swashbuckling story about mistaken identity, swordfighting, and intrigue, one part swashbuckler and one part dark political thriller.

The popularity of this book predates organized fandom as we know it, so I wonder if “fandom” is even the right word to use. All the same, it inspired fanatical dedication from readers. There was such a popular hunger for it that an entire library could be filled with nothing but rip-offs of Prisoner of Zenda. If you have a favorite writer who was active between 1900-1950, I guarantee he probably wrote at least one Prisoner of Zenda rip-off (which is nearly always the least-read book in his oeuvre). The only novel in the 20th Century that inspired more imitators was Sherlock Holmes. Robert Heinlein and Edmond “Planet Smasher” Hamilton wrote scifi updates of Prisoner of Zenda. Doctor Who lifted the plot wholesale for the Tom Baker era episode, “Androids of Tara,” Futurama did this exact plot too, and even Marvel Comics has its own copy of Ruritania, Doctor Doom’s Kingdom of Latveria. Even as late as the 1980s, every kids’ cartoon did a “Prisoner of Zenda” episode, one of the stock plots alongside “everyone gets hit by a shrink ray” and the Christmas Carol episode.

Prisoner of Zenda imitators were so numerous, that they even have their own Library of Congress sub-heading, of “Ruritanian Romance.” 

One major reason that Prisoner of Zenda fandom died off is that, between World War I and World War II, there was a brutal lack of sympathy for anything that seemed slightly German, and it seems the incredibly Central European Prisoner of Zenda was a casualty of this. Far and away, the largest immigrant group in the United States through the entire 19th Century were Germans, who were more numerous than Irish or Italians. There were entire cities in the Midwest that were two-thirds German-born or German-descent, who met in Biergartens and German community centers that now no longer exist.

Kurt Vonnegut wrote a lot about how the German-American world he grew up in vanished because of the prejudice of the World Wars, and that disappearance was so extensive that it was retroactive, like someone did a DC comic-style continuity reboot where it all never happened: Germans, despite being the largest immigrant group in US history, are left out of the immigrant story. The “Little Bohemias” and “Little Berlins” that were once everywhere no longer exist. There is no holiday dedicated to people of German ancestry in the US, the way the Irish have St. Patrick’s Day or Italians have Columbus Day (there is Von Steuben’s Day, dedicated to a general who fought with George Washington, but it’s a strictly Midwest thing most people outside the region have never heard of, like Sweetest Day). If you’re reading this and you’re an academic, and you’re not sure what to do your dissertation on, try writing about the German-American immigrant world of the 19th and 20th Centuries, because it’s a criminally under-researched topic.


A. Merritt

Pop quiz: who was the most popular and influential fantasy author during the 1930s and 40s? 

If you answered Tolkien or Robert E. Howard, you’re wrong - it was actually Abraham Merritt. He was the most popular writer of his age of the kind of fiction he did, and he’s since been mostly forgotten. Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons, has said that A. Merritt was his favorite fantasy and horror novelist.

Why did A. Merritt and his fandom go away, when at one point, he was THE fantasy author? Well, obviously one big answer was the 1960s counterculture, which brought different writers like Tolkien and Lovecraft to the forefront (by modern standards Lovecraft isn’t a fantasy author, but he was produced by the same early century genre-fluid effluvium that produced Merritt and the rest). The other answer is that A. Merritt was so totally a product of the weird occult speculation of his age that it’s hard to even imagine him clicking with audiences in other eras. His work is based on fringe weirdness that appealed to early 20th Century spiritualism and made sense at the time: reincarnation, racial memory, an obsession with lost race stories and the stone age, and weirdness like the 1920s belief that the Polar Arctic is the ancestral home of the Caucasian race. In other words, it’s impossible to explain Merritt without a ton of sentences that start with “well, people in the 1920s thought that…” That’s not a good sign when it comes to his universality. 


That’s it for now. Do you have any suggestions on a dead fandom, or do you keep one of these “dead” fandoms alive in your heart?

Okay so: when Peter was 14, he made his spider-outfit big and baggy so he could wear it with just a sports bra under it so he wouldn’t be exercising with a binder on.  When he got Tony’s first spider-suit, he went ahead and wore a binder under it because by that time he’d figured out that super-strength (and super-healing) kept his lungs and ribs safe.

When Tony found out that he was wearing a binder under his suit, he freaked out and told Peter that just because you have superpowers doesn’t mean you can suffocate yourself all day.  Peter refused to stop Spider-Manning in his binder, and Tony finally said “okay, what about surgery then?”  Peter hadn’t even thought of that as a possibility because of lack of money and being a minor, but Tony insisted that it was an investment in the protection of the city and found a surgeon who would work with permission from a guardian plus letters from psychiatrists.

When Peter was almost 15, Tony talked the surgeon into working with Bruce to find ways to operate successfully on someone with super-healing and talked the surgeon into operating with Peter’s mask on.  (Convincing him to accept guardian’s permission and letters without Peter’s name on them was actually the hard part; the surgeon was very excited to work on someone with superpowers.)

For Peter, the worst part was the period he wasn’t able to go out as Spider-Man.  They had to temporarily slow down his super-healing in order to operate, so for the first two weeks he healed only a bit faster than a standard human, and his arms wouldn’t move properly and his chest hurt and there was no way Tony was letting him go swing around the city and tear open his stitches, especially when his healing factor was offline.

When Peter was 15, his super-healing had fully taken care of his incisions, like they were never there, and he only had the occasional twinge - apparently healing factors don’t entirely eliminate the effects of nerve damage.

When Peter was 15, he went swimming for the first time since he was 7.

When Peter was 15, he could breathe.

Villain Deku AU + Exasperated Dad Might

Deku becomes a villain pretty young and All Might still hasn’t given up heroics because goddamnit he’s not ready to give up being All Might yet. All Might literally cannot fight Villain Deku at full power because this guy is just a KID and doesn’t he have GUARDIAN??? An Adult??? Someone to look after this sassy lost child who definitely shouldn’t be doing such illegal activities???

So All Might finds himself reluctantly stepping into Dad Might role whenever he fights the villain Deku because DAMNIT YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE AMAZING LIFE AHEAD OF YOU STOP THESE ILLEGAL SHENANIGANS YOUNG MAN

And the whole time Deku can’t decide whether to feel patronized by All Might or thrive off his attention (it’s some unholy mixture of both and the whole time he’s just CONFUSED about his own feelings on the matter) all he knows for sure is that he wants All Might to acknowledge him and his abilities

The whole city is just trying to hold itself together since it’s best hero is apparently trying to parent this unruly villain into submission

It’s got mixed results.

A Finite Amount of Love

The first time Rose did it, it was out of ignorance.

The second was desperation.

The third time she did not do it. If she had, it would have been purely malicious.

She resisted it the fourth time too, and the fifth, the sixth and the seventh. 

The eighth time she never got the choice: she died first.

The first, though—the first was Adam. An eager and honest bucktooth man with blond hair in ringlets that reminded Rose just a bit of her own. Adam was the first human Rose fell in love with, and it was different. It wasn’t her normal human love, that soft and gentle maternal kind. This love was bubbly and effervescent. It was walks alone just the two of them that felt giddy and new and anxious eager jolts in her mind of touching his skin and investigating his lips and getting close, close like humans do, in a way that wasn’t fusion.

And 58 was far too young an age, Rose thought, for Adam to fade. He burst out in sores that corrupted his human form and could not heal, would not heal, and no human could save him. So Rose did. Adam died, and Rose shed just enough tears to bring him back into existence.

Things didn’t change all at once. For years nothing was different than the novelty of Adam’s ringleted hair truly matching Rose’s. But humans experience the passing of decades different from Gems. Adam grew solemn when all his friends died. He made new ones. Then 50 years later, they all died as well.

Adam’s body remained healthy. But it seemed the human mind wasn’t equipped for centuries of life. Maybe humans had a finite amount of love packaged into them, meant to well up from the soul for 70 or 80 years at most. Adam ran out of love. He packed his things, just a single bag on his shoulder, and he told Rose he would leave forever.

Rose let him go, but her heart still broke, because Gems work on a much larger time scale.

Samuel was the next man in her life, a mere 30 years later, and he was spry, bubbly, energetic, overflowing with a sort of giddy love that Rose felt would last and last. She swept him up in her arms and spun with him on the briny beach front, her bare feet molding in the sand as they swirled and danced, day after day, year after year. She and Samuel married, as was a custom among Samuel’s kind, and he gathered a batch of humans larger than Rose had seen since the victory against Homeworld.

Samuel turned 75 faster than Rose could measure. He was gray and worn, thin and knotted at the joints, senile and immobile when Rose still wanted to dance with him on the beach. He did not wake up one morning, and it was too soon for Rose. She wept, honest heavy wet tears that poured the life back into a husk that dried too soon.

Samuel lasted another 75 years after that. But he burned down, slower than Adam but still the same. His human light died. He wept too hard for his family and friends, for the children of his first marriage and his children’s children, and their children… He grew solemn, and cold, and inconsolable, and one day he told Rose he wanted to explore the ocean with his infinite age. Alone. Without her. His human love had burnt itself to the wick.

The heartache hit worse. Rose gave her hand and heart and time to no other man for decades. Not the curious sailors who came hat-in-hand to the Temple. Not the outcast townsfolk who came to investigate the myths of the magical women out by the briny shore. She waited, and waited, until that ache in her chest grew too heavy, and she let a young and spindly man named Wilson woo her. He took her out to sea on a rickety hand-crafted boat, and he pointed out the wonders of the vast sea to her, and Rose wondered silently if ever they might cross Samuel’s path.

Wilson grew old when Rose was not paying attention. She went to visit him one day, and found only a sickly man curled up in bed, breathing in wheezes, blinking through milky eyes. Garnet found her that evening, Garnet with the ability to see the paths laid out ahead of her. She warned Rose not to follow through this time, and Rose did not. And Wilson died.

Mark with the thick orange brows was slowly whittled down to thin scraggly gray hairs, like fuzzy caterpillars resting on his lip and brow the day he died. Seth had only hit 30 when his carriage was lost off the side of the road in a blizzard, his body found days after. Wallace made it to 76. Jeremy to 64…

When she met Greg, Rose reached a selfish conclusion. She would be the human this time. She would be the human wife that Adam, Samuel, Wilson, Seth, Mark, Wallace, Jeremy never had…she would be the one to give him a child.

And she would die first this time.

The other men had seemed so peaceful when they passed, Rose thought in hindsight. A life well-lived. A life fulfilled. Not like Adam, not like Samuel, whittled down to husks and then nothing but a puppet on strings, in a body strewn about, too spent and stressed for a human. She wanted to know that peace of a life lived to its end. She wanted to pass on her chance of experiencing the world to a new human, a new generation, like all humans were so happy to do.

Rose died first. Steven lived on.

Lars has not visited Beach City in centuries. Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst still live there, he knows that, but he never knew them well. He never properly met the green and blue ones either.

He travels sometimes. Mostly he lingers. Wherever he ends up. It’s all a blur. Where he’s been and where he’s going. Just not Beach City. He’s visited those old homes too many times, and he saw them all demolished over time. Nothing’s left for him there.

Lars does not quite know where he is. He does not particularly care. It’s indoors, and dim, and a man is logging orders on a holographic tablet one table over. It’s a restaurant of sorts. Lars doesn’t need to eat, but if he orders a coffee, they will probably let him linger longer.

Lars stares out the window. He does that often. He’s run out of other things to do over the years. He’s gotten numb to most of it.

A shadow of a man slides into the booth with Lars. He takes the space on the opposite side of the table. He’s wearing a rain poncho, a thin and ultra-light orange material for maximum hydrophobic effect. He looks old, eyes lined with wrinkles beneath the hood. Lars swallows the urge to ask him what he wants as the man lowers the hood.

His hair cascades in ringlets, each the same pale and luminous pink as the hair on Lars’ head.

He sticks a hand out, and offers a thin smile that doesn’t quite touch his eyes.

“I’m Adam. I noticed your hair from the other side of the bar. Sorry to intrude, but could we talk a moment…?”

Possible-Future-Girlfriend

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky claims you can’t flirt for shit, you prove him wrong

Word Count: 2164

Warnings: pure fluff

Author’s Note: this is one of the first fluff i’ve written, i hope you enjoy (re)reading it :)

Masterlist Here

Sometimes you never really understood James Buchanan Barnes.

What is going on inside that pretty little head of his? What keeps him up all night sometimes. He’s assured you that it’s not the nightmares anymore. Those are the things he left in the past, along with all the terrible memories. But let’s not get drifted off to the apprehensive shit here. You have much important things to concentrate on.

Bucky Barnes is much happier now. He jokes around, flirts with girls at clubs or parties or any other place. He loves the cinema, especially the TV shows - so much that he binge watches them whenever Bucky and you are hanging out at your apartment.

He’s catching up on the new technology, too. You and Steve bought him a new phone for his birthday this year and boy, he cannot stop clicking pictures on it. And you know snooping is wrong, but most of the pictures on his camera roll are of Steve, the New York City skyline and you. You were surprised at first, but this man practically spends every free second of his time with you, so that was enough of an answer. Plus, you’d be lying to yourself and the rest the world if you’d say that your phone gallery isn’t stacked with pictures of Bucky.

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Before Stonewall

The history of LGBT+ activism is a long and storied one, but many of those stories have been erased or forgotten. In honor of the month of Pride and all the courageous activists who came before us, here are some of them:

The Activism of Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld

Magnus Hirschfeld, who was himself gay, led a movement to decriminalize and understand homosexuality in pre WWII Germany that was highly successful given the time in which it took place. In 1897 he founded the Scientific Humanitarian Committee to study and demystify homosexuality, believing that through scientific examination hostility towards gay men and women could be reduced. In 1898 his committee presented 5000 signatures of prominent Germans to the Reichstag in favor of overturning discriminatory laws against homosexuality. The bill didn’t pass, but Hirschfeld was only beginning. In 1910 he coined the term ‘transvestite’, the very first term for what we now know as transgender people, and even - remarkably - suggested that gender might be a spectrum. In 1919 he opened his Institute for Sexual Research, a clinic created for studying and caring for sexual or gender minorities. The famous Lili Elbe (as in The Danish Girl) received treatment at his clinic.

The clinic was wildly ahead of its time. Hirschfeld not only pioneered gender confirmation surgery through the work of Dr. Ludwig Levy-Lenz but he convinced the police - the police! - to issue a special permit to trans women so that they could travel freely in their own clothing without being harassed or arrested.

As a gay Jewish man who fought for the rights of gay and trans people, it’s not a surprise that Hirschfeld was a favorite target of the Nazis. In 1933 his Institute was raided and his research burned, setting back queer liberation for god knows how long. He fled to France, where he lived out the rest of his life.


The Mattachine Society and the Daughters of Bilitis

The Mattachine society, founded in 1950, was the first ‘homophile’ (gay rights) organization in the United States. Founded by Harry Hay in Los Angeles, the society had itself likely been inspired by knowledge of Hirschfeld’s work and proposed to improve the condition of the lives of gay men in America. The group adopted the cell style organization favored by Communist groups and soon there were chapters all around the country. When member Dale Jennings got arrested for ‘lewd behavior’ he decided to fight the charges with the support of the Society, who generated publicity and sympathy around the case. The jury deadlocked, the charges were dropped and the Mattachine society declared victory. 

The Daughters of Bilitis  (1955) was originally concieved as an alternative to the lesbian bar scene but quickly politicized. They provided support and education for lesbians who wanted to learn more about their orientation, as well as launching a magazine that was the first nationally distributed lesbian publication called The Ladder in 1956. In 1960 they even held a national convention.

The Activism of Frank Kameny

In 1957 Frank Kameny was caught up in the “lavender scare”, a purge of homosexuals from US Government departments, and lost his job. But Kameny was a fighter, and he didn’t take it lying down. He devoted himself to activism.

Refusing to be bullied or made ashamed of his orientation, Kameny not only founded the Washington D.C. chapter of the Mattachine society but launched what was one of the earliest LGBT picket lines in history when he and ten other activists picketed the White House in 1965 carrying a sign that said “Gay is Good”, his favored slogan. In 1963 he launched the campaign to decriminalize homosexuality in D.C. and personally drafted the bill that finally passed in 1993. 

The Compton’s Cafeteria Riot

The first transgender-led riot against the police took place not at Stonewall, but at Compton’s Cafeteria in the Tenderlion district of San Francisco.

Compton’s Cafeteria was a restaurant that had become a meeting place for transgender people, as they weren’t welcome in many gay bars at the time. In the early 1960′s, the staff at the Cafeteria began calling the police on their trans customers, leading to arrests and raids and harassment. Things came to a head when a police officer attempted to arrest one of the trans women who was patronizing the restaurant, and she threw her coffee in his face. Furniture was thrown, windows were smashed, and the fighting spilled out into the street. A police cruiser had all its windows smashed out and a newsstand was burned down.

The next night trans women and other LGBT supporters formed a picket line outside the Cafeteria to protest their treatment. During the demonstration the windows of the Cafeteria were once again shattered.  Many of the activists were members of Vanguard, an early organization for LGBT youth. 

splinter (m)

» pairing: jungkook x reader

» genre: angst, non-explicit smut / college au

» word count: 6,518

» description: Perhaps in their last moments together, the pieces won’t seem so broken. That maybe even with their jaded hearts they can salvage some replica of what it all once was. 

» note: there are mentions of cheating in this story

People love to talk about the ‘what ifs.’

What if they had just kept going, what if they had chosen a different path, what if things had just gone the way they had so desperately wanted them to? Humans torture themselves with these thoughts, all while urgently grappling at the threads of their memories that led to the fork in the road where things went awry. They ponder them tirelessly, wondering if they could’ve done something different, only to realize in the end that it didn’t matter because what was done was done. It was that simple, yet again, people still loved to talk, ponder, and torture themselves with the possibility of what if — However, in your personal experience, there was something much worse.

There was a sub-group of sorts to the what-ifs, called the ‘almosts.’ Almosts are burning flames of misery because they tease you by getting so heartbreakingly close to what you wanted. They were in your reach, resting on the tip of your tongue, only to dissipate before you could swallow it down and make it yours.

So yeah, you weren’t a fan of the-almosts. But what you were even less keen on was being in the same room as your almost, the thread of memories making the air thick as it wrapped its way around your throat.

Keep reading

wnder-luust  asked:

For a prompt, if you want, maybe lance finding out that keith was going to sacrifice himself? I absolutely adore your writing, keep up the awesomeness!! ❤️

You guys ready to get fucking emo?

“Alright, this is it.” Shiro’s voice comes through Lance’s helmet, sounding tinny and distant. Red lands on the chunk of meteor below. It rumbles when the other lions land next to them. 

Lance looks out into the emptiness of space. It’s particularly devoid here, with no planets and barely any stars visible. A sensible meeting spot with Lotor then.

“Allura, have you recharged the castle? We need to have wormholes operational in case this meeting goes south.”

“All set, Shiro.” Allura confirms.

“What do you guys know about this Prince?” Matt’s voice comes through. Lance can just make out his figure disembarking the rebels’ ship and walking out onto the meteor.

“He’s slimy and we don’t like him.” Lance answers for everyone. There’s a hum of agreement. 

Despite their victory, there has been little time to celebrate. Lotor’s interference and want for a meeting has made things tense. And the Voltron coalition has decided to act quickly, rather than agonise for days about what to do. The more they wait, the more time they give Lotor to perfect whatever scheme this is. The team is still exhausted from their fight and their unease is palatable.

But Lance feels his gut twist for a different reason.

Lance pats Red’s dashboard before he exits and starts to walk towards the castle. He sees Shiro, Pidge and Matt up ahead, as well as Kolivan and some other blades. Lance’s gaze trains on the smallest one, who barely comes up to Kolivan’s bicep, and starts to rush forward. He grabs Keith’s elbow and turns his scowl into a perfected smile.

“Hey man! Fancy seeing you here!” He chuckles. Keith’s surprised expression melts into a fond smile. 

“Lance, good to see you’re ok.”

“Of course! Nothing lays a hand on this sharpshooter!” Lance winks and clicks his tongue. 

“Of course.” Keith sighs. 

Lance lifts his gaze for a moment and meets Shiro’s. His perfected smile falters. Shiro nods. Then turns away. 

“We should head on board to form an escape plan.” Shiro announces. The rebels and Blades follow his lead. Lance snatches Keith’s arm again.

“Hey, quickly, do you wanna visit Red? I think she misses you.”

“Wha…? Lance we gotta…?”

“Shiro, I’m just taking Keith to see Red.” Lance ignores Keith’s protests and mumbles quickly into his helmet’s communicator.

“Go.” Shiro replies.

Lance beams and starts to pull Keith away.

“It’ll only take a second! Come one! Or are you too good for her now that you’re a blade?” Lance sneers. That has Keith rising to his taunts. He sneers.

“I don’t think that!”

“Ah, well you better come with me then.” Lance sighs. With a devilish smirk he takes Keith’s hands and starts to run across the rocky meteor surface. It feels good to get his heart rate up and burn through some of the residual adrenaline still in his veins. He laughs and hears Keith chuckle just behind him. Keith starts to pick up his pace and the two race to Red’s feet. Lance wins. Barely. And crashes against Red’s legs.

“You’re legs are longer.” Keith pants.

“My armour’s heavier.” Lance heaves. “Just admit that I’m better.”

“Never.” Keith hisses, but the corners of his mouth quirk into a smile. 

“Well I guess we just have to leave it to the ultimate judge.” Lance stands upright and begins to control his breathing. He knocks against Red’s leg and looks up towards her imposing head.

“Hey Red! Which one of us is better?!” Lance shouts. He wraps an arm around Keith’s shoulders and pulls him close. “Me?! Or this reckless asshole?!” He laughs. Keith shimmies out of his hold.

“I don’t think she’ll answer.”

“Oh no she definitely did. She definitely told me to call you an idiot.”

“She’d never do that.”

“Oh really? Well that’s super funny because she totally just did?” 

“You’re an idiot.” Keith shakes his head. “Look, I need to…”

“Keith…” Lance’s voice drops low and his facade crumbles. He levels Keith with a serious expression, uncharacteristic of the normally exuberant boy who loves to joke and bat his long eyelashes. It fills Keith with dread. He freezes.

“Keith… before… out there when we couldn’t get past that battleship’s shields…” Lance casts his eyes to the ground. His fingers wring together. “You said you would bring it down. You would handle it. Obviously Lotor got there before you, but…”

He picks up his gaze. Keith cowers under the weight of it.

“What was your plan?”

The question hangs in the air. Lance waits patiently as Keith’s mouth slackens. He opens and closes it, but no noise comes out.

“What was your plan, Keith?” Lance asks more aggressively. He steps in close. Keith scowls.

“Why do you want to know?” He spits.

“Because I think I know what it was. I don’t know if anyone else has, but I think I know what you were thinking and so help me Keith…” Lance’s words are poisonous. His fists shake at his sides. 

“If you sacrifice yourself for some stupid…!”

“It wasn’t stupid!” Keith snaps. Lance jumps back. 

“We had to get that shield down. If we didn’t then millions of people would have died! I had to do something! I’m not more important than anyone else!” Keith’s chest heaves and his voice cracks. His eyes narrow with determination. 

“If I have to die to save others than I’ll do it!”

Lance slaps Keith.

Hard.

Straight across the face with a deafening clap.

Keith goes cold. He stares at the ground where his vision was knocked until he hears sniffling. He dares to glance up.

Lance holds himself as he trembles violently. Tears stream down his cheeks and weak sobs wrack his thin frame. Keith’s cheek still throbs.

“You are more important.” He cries. “You’re more important to us. You’re more important to me.” He thumps his chest and finally looks into Keith’s eyes. Keith forgets how to breathe. 

“Can’t you understand that? Can’t you understand that if you die…” Lance’s voice cracks every which way, but he pushes on. “… You think we could go on? You think Shiro could keep fighting? You think I…”

Keith remembers how to move his feet. He feels like he’ll burst into tears at any moment, but miraculously, he keeps himself from shattering. He steps close to Lance and dares to touch him. His hands move down Lance’s forearms until their fingers entangle. Their foreheads touch. Lance lets out a deep exhale.

“I couldn’t go on, Keith. It would ruin me.” He confesses. Keith squeezes his hands.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’ll kill you, Keith. I’ll fucking kill you if you try that shit again.” Lance’s hands move to Keith’s back and he holds him like he might fall. Keith grips Lance’s armour just as desperately. He rubs his face against Lance’s chest and finally lets the tears fall.

“I know you would.”

“I’m not joking. I’ll fucking kick your ass.” Lance sighs. “Or worse… I’ll get Kolivan to ground you.” He weakly chuckles. Keith smiles and laughs with him. He giggles through his tears.

They don’t let go of each other for a long time. 

Carousel | 04

➤ Playlist | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07

➤ Character: Min Yoongi x reader

➤ Genre/words: Angst, Implied/light Smut, Arranged Marriage! AU / 14,964 words

➤ Summary: He is the successor of his family’s business empire, and you are the female heir of yours. After the trouble his older brother had created in the past, he now must face certain requirements needed for the sake of the family’s future and to save his rights of inheritance, and you become his only way out. Everything might seem so simple, just the way they are supposed to. But everything isn’t always what it seems, is it?



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When They Try to Take Us Down

Summary: Phil doesn’t like when hate preachers come to campus. They make him nervous and uncomfortable. But this time, Dan is there to help him through it in an unexpected, yet pleasant way.
Word Count: 2,201
Warnings: homophobic slurs, hate speech, anxiety
Title creds: Let the Flames Begin - Paramore
A/N: Thank you to @snowbunnylester (as always) for prompting me this! I’ve been on a writing splurge lately and I honestly don’t know how I’m doing it. Lemme know it you like this!

Listen to the Podfic!
Read it on AO3

-

There is an angry aura surrounding campus in the form of ignorant slurs and angry responses. This only happens on the occasion, but it makes Phil nervous each time, a pit in his stomach and his throat closing up as he tries to walk as fast as possible past the angry crowd.

There was a man, dressed in preacher’s clothes and holding a sign with a list of the types of people who were going to “go to hell”. Phil didn’t have to look to know that homosexuals and masturbators and adulterers were on the list. He swallowed and ducked his head, trying to move as fast as he could. Dan was ahead of him, probably shaking his head and scoffing as he does every time they passed by a preacher like this. Sometimes Phil thinks he’s more upset about this kind of thing than Phil is, despite being the heterosexual one in their friendship, just by the way he wasn’t afraid to shout his opinions right back.

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Distance

Requested By: @purelyparker

hi there :-) i love your writing sm so i was wondering if you could write a tom holland imagine based off of the song “give me love” by ed sheeran where the reader breaks up with tom bc of his hectic acting schedule but they both aren’t taking the breakup very well (however THERES A HAPPY ENDING?? HOPEFULLY???) but that’s just an idea; it’s totally up to you to put your own spin on it or go in a different direction !! thank you SOSO much🤗💛

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Description: Tom had been traveling a lot lately, so much to the point you rarely saw him at all, sure you’d call and text occasionally, but that wasn’t enough, you supported his acting career 100%, but you couldn’t take it anymore.

Warnings: Kinda sad, slight mention of alcohol, but then happiness :)

Word Count: 2,661

A/N: This actually turned out a lot better than I thought it was going to tbh, so I hope you enjoy it :)) Also, this gif has nothing to do with the imagine, I just thought it was a cute gif of Tom, oops.

Originally posted by ridreyrholland

It had been two months since you last seen Tom, he was off filming for Spider-Man Homecoming, which you totally understood, it took dedication and time, but so did your relationship with him.

Normally when he went off and filmed movies you two were okay, you didn’t normally have issues and you’d still see him and talk almost everyday, but this time it was different.

Tom just disappeared, you’d get an occasional text here and there, sometimes a phone call, but that was it.

You were left in the dark, just like a fan was.

It’s not that you didn’t love his fans, you did with all your heart, they were half the reason you were still sane, since they seemed to have more knowledge about Tom than you did yourself, and you were the one dating him.

You spent those long two months trying to decide on what to do, on what you thought was right and necessary, or more so healthy.

You knew deep down this relationship with Tom was fading, it was becoming stressful and making you more and more upset as the days went by.

‘Cause lately I’ve been waking up alone,

Pain splattered teardrops on my shirt.

Every morning you’d wake up, in hope of a good morning text, literally anything to show that maybe, just maybe he remembered you, but there was never anything.

This crushed your heart, everyday.

Until one day you had enough, you didn’t want to do this, but it was for the best, it was the right decision, it was the smart decision, this relationship wasn’t healthy for you anymore.

You started packing your belongings from Tom’s apartment, tears streaming down your face as you packed up boxes of your belongings.

You dreaded leaving his clothes behind that you always wore, but you knew if you took them you’d never let him go, and you needed to, it was for the best you would tell yourself.

You took one last look around his apartment, the one you had been living in for the past year, all the memories you two had created there were slowly being erased.

You let out a choked sob as you picked up the few boxes you had, before closing and locking the apartment door, and off to your new tiny little apartment your parents had gotten you a while back.

It was a few hours away from Tom’s which was good in a small sense, but at the same time your mind was moving at warp speed, unable to process you were moving back into your old apartment.

You arrived at nightfall, pulling your belongings out of your car before entering your tiny living space, you always had the feeling of comfort and safety in your apartment.

Maybe tonight I’ll call ya,

Maybe I should let you go.

You set your boxes on the counter of your kitchen, pulling out your phone, shakily dialing in Tom’s number.

You pressed the phone to your ear hesitantly, hearing it ring a few times before someone picked up.

“Hello?” A voice rung through your apartment, making your knees go weak.

“Hey Tom..” You murmured into the phone, biting your lip nervously, a bad habit you had gotten.

“Oh, hey Y/N! What’s up?” He questioned casually, as if he had no clue in the world how distant he had been with you these past few months.

“I-I uhm..” You stuttered, your heart beating rapidly, as you nervously swallowed, which Tom could hear through the phone.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Tom questioned worriedly, making you blink back tears that were daring to fall down your cheeks.

“No.. Tom.. Things aren’t okay.. They haven’t been for a while..” You spoke, voice barely above a whisper, but Tom heard you clear as day, his heart starting to beat quicker.

“Y-Y/N, you’re starting to scare me, what’s going on?” He stammered, he was now sitting down at a table on set.

“Tom..” You started, wiping your hand across your cheeks, tears continuing to fall down them.

“Do you realize how long it’s been since we’ve talked?” You asked, sitting down on a stool in your kitchen, waiting for his answer.

Tom sat there for a minute, puzzled at your question, until he started to realize how he’d been acting, as if you didn’t even exist.

“Y/N, o-oh my god, I’m s-so sorry.” Tom apologized, his eyes wide as he started to put pieces together.

“Tom, just stop, please?” You whimpered out, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Y/N, p-please don’t do this..” Tom whispered, his voice cracking, he couldn’t bare lose you.

“Tom, this isn’t healthy, I can’t keep living like this..” You whispered, sniffling, your heart hurting the more you spoke.

“I can change, I can fix things, I-I promise..” Tom pleaded, tears starting to brim his eyes.

“Listen, I love you, but.. I-I can’t do this anymore.. I think.. W-We should b-break u-up..” You stuttered, your heart breaking into a million pieces as you spoke the most awful words.

“N-No, Y/N, p-please! N-No! I-I can’t l-lose you.” Tom cried out, tears now falling down his cheeks, but he didn’t even care anymore if anyone saw him.

“I-I’m so sorry..” You whispered, choking back sobs, as you heard Tom letting out his own.

“Y/N, d-don’t do this, p-please..” He continued to plead, only making it worse for the both of you.

“It’s for the best, I love you, goodbye Tom.” You whispered, hanging up before you could hear anymore of his plea’s.

You slowly slid down the stool, leaning back against your counter, letting out strangled sobs, your heart broken into small tiny fragments.

Tom on the other hand was staring at his phone, unable to process what had just happened.

His hands were shaking, tears were streaming down his red cheeks, his hair was a mess from running and tugging on it too many times.

“Hey Tom, we’re ready to shoot the next scene and, -oh, good lord what happened? Are you okay?” The producer asked, seeing Tom’s state wasn’t exactly stable at the current moment.

Tom just stared ahead of him, unable to produce words, all he could think about was you, and how he had let you down, made you feel like you were forgotten, not important to him, when you actually meant the entire world to him.

You were the reason he woke up every morning, the reason he was happy all the time, the reason he was as successful as he was, you were his light, but now you were gone, and now everything was dark.

“Tom, hey man, what’s going on?“ Jacob rushed over, after the producer told him how worried they were about his mental state.

"Buddy, it’s me, talk to me.” Jacob pleaded, looking over Tom and internally cringing at how much of a disaster he looked.

“Y-Y/n, she b-broke up with m-me.” Tom stammered out, looking up at his friend, who had a look of shock on his face.

“Dude, I’m so sorry. What happened?” Jacob asked carefully, not wanting Tom to have a emotional breakdown even worse.

“I became distant, without even realizing it, and it broke her.” Tom wiped his face, looking at the table sadly.

“You can win her back buddy, I know it.” Jacob tried to convince him, anything to make him lighten up just the tiniest bit.

“I really blew it Jacob, you should of heard her, she sounded so broken, and a-alone and it’s all m-my fault! I made the only person I loved leave me all because I was too much of an idiot.” Tom spoke furiously, hitting the table, startling Jacob.

“Alright, you know what lets just take a break today, you can chill and do what you need to, and we can figure this all out.” Jacob suggested, as Tom nodded slightly, before Jacob went to the producer, who agreed it was a good idea.

Two days passed and you were a total mess, you refused to leave your apartment, your friends tried calling and texting you, but you just ignored them, wanting to be alone.

You just laid in your bed, the curtains closed, a candle lit on your kitchen counter, making your apartment smell like crisp fall air.

‘Cause lately I’ve been craving more,

And it’s been a while, but I still feel the same,

After my blood turns into alcohol,

All I want is the taste that your lips allow.

Without Tom you didn’t know what to do with your life, he was such a huge part of you and now he was missing, a chunk of you was missing and you were lost.

You tried drinking, to numb the pain, but nothing worked, it just made you even more miserable than before.

You needed him.

And he needed you.

The producer had allowed Tom and Jacob to return back home for a few days to figure things out, once he got to his apartment he had expected you to still be there, but once he entered he noticed that none of your belongings were there anymore, and the shirts you once wore were folded on his bed.

In that moment he felt his heart drop, you really had left.

“Dude, where could she be?” Jacob questioned, as they set their belongings in his apartment.

“She returned back to her old one, she used to live there until she moved in with me.” Tom replied, grabbing his keys as they both headed out the door again.

They drove the few hours to your apartment, Tom was a nervous wreck, he wasn’t sure how you’d react to seeing him after all this time.

“Okay buddy, you got this, I’ll wait in the car.” Jacob gave a small smile, along with a thumbs up as Tom got out and walked up to your apartment door, hesitantly knocking.

When you didn’t answer he got nervous, but he saw your car parked in the driveway so he knew you were home.

This made him worry, he quickly fidgeted to find the spare key you had given him, he swiftly unlocked the door, noticing the darkness of the apartment, and the intense smell of alcohol and a fall scented candle.

“Y/N? Y/N where are you?” Tom shouted, before seeing you laying in your bed, staring blankly into space.

“Shit, Y/N.” Tom rushed over, pulling you into his arms tightly, kissing your head.

“T-Tom?” You mumbled out, blinking rapidly before realizing he wasn’t a figment of your imagination, that you weren’t actually hallucinating him.

“Yes, it’s me.” He whispered, now holding your face in his hands gently.

“It’s really you.” You whispered, tears slipping down your face, you couldn’t believe he came to see you.

“It’s really me babe, I’m so so sorry, for everything.” Tom whispered, caressing your cheek gently with his thumb.

“I missed you.” You whimpered, moving your face more into his hand, while placing your hands on his.

“I missed you too darling, I promise that’ll never happen again.” He kissed your forehead, causing you to close your eyes.

“Please, give me another chance.” He pleaded, making you lock eyes with him, before a small smile appeared on your lips as you gave a slight nod.

Tom’s eyes lit up, his heart racing before his lips met yours, the kiss passionate and full of pent up emotions.

“I love you so much, even when you’re an asshole sometimes.” You laughed slightly, your forehead pressed against his.

“I love you too darling, and I know I can be, but that’s why I have someone like you to keep me in place.” He chuckled, kissing your nose before wrapping his arms around you once again.

You both laid there for a bit, catching up, laughing, smiling, kissing, more talking, more kissing.

You knew you always loved this apartment of yours, because no matter what you always felt safe, and now you realized one of those reasons was because of Tom, he made you feel safe, he made you feel at home, because he was your home.

And always would be, no matter what.

You smiled at Tom who was watching you in amusement, before his phone started ringing.

“Hello?” Tom answered, before a smile formed on his face and laughter escaped his lips.

“Yes Jacob, you can come up now.” Tom laughed, making your eyes widen and laugh along with him.

“You didn’t tell me Jacob was here! Jacob I’m coming!” You shouted, sprinting off the bed and running down the hallway.

“But babe, what about me!” Tom shouted after you, a playful grin on his face as he watched you sprint down the hallway.

“Are you kidding? Jacob all the way!” You teased, a playful smile on your face as you tackled Jacob in a hug, making him loose his balance.

“Nooooo! My smoothie!”

IT masterlist - 21.10.17

reddie -

  playlist

 bad at love :


 truly madly deeply : request

  • Eddie reflects on his and Richie’s relationship. (future fic) pastel!eddie x punk!richie warnings : SUPER fluffy af


smoke rings : request

  • eddie finds richie smoking and he’s not happy about it. (future fic)warnings: angst & smoking


wonderless : request

  • eddie admires his boyfriend from a far. (future fic) warnings : minor sexual implications  


same game : request

  • five times eddie kaspbrak was oblivious to richie toziers flirting and the one time he wasn’t. (modern au) warnings : none


loving someone :

  • years after the IT incident, the loser’s drift apart due to misunderstanding on eddie’s behalf. the misfits haven’t been the same since that summer. now eddie comes face to face with a mistake he made six months prior and his world gets turned upside down all because the losers didn’t try hard enough. (future fic) warnings : depression, suicide, homophobia
  • part one
  • part two (coming soon)


running on ice : request 

  • pastel!eddie x punk!richie, someone flirts with richie’s man and he’s not happy. (future fic) warnings : none


take on me : request (coming soon)

  • richie and eddie are dating in the neibolt house when richie finds his missing poster, fluff ahead. (present fic) warnings : pennywise


all the small things : request (coming soon)

  • five times richie and eddie got caught and the one time they didn’t


take me : (coming soon)

  • songfic - eddie is sick of waiting for richie to make the first move


american idiot : request (coming soon)

  • richie is baked out of his mind and accidentally tells Eddie how much he loves him


headcannons -


moodboards -  

shitposts made at four am -

[1]   [2]   [3]   [4]   [5]   [6]   [7]   [8]

Craigslist jerk gets what's coming to him.

So here’s the story of this one individual who really got to me a few years ago.

I see an item posted online and decide to make an offer, and it goes like below. And any text below written in between parentheses is just extra story info, not actual exchanged info.

Me: Hi, is your item still available?

Seller: Yeah I still have it.

(BTW, I think the item was posted for like $150)

Me: OK, would you take $140 for it? (Which is only $10 off and I certainly wasn’t going to meet up with a less than agreed upon amount)

Seller: Sure, can you meet me at Town Center right now? (Which is halfway across town 50 minutes away)

Me: OK, I’m on my way. Thank you!

Seller: Sure, I’ll see you soon.

Me: OK I’m here, are you close?

(So I get there and I’m waiting for over 40 minutes, and I still haven’t received a text back from this guy)

(A few minutes later I receive the following text)

Seller: Hey, I hope you wasted your gas and time. That’s what you get for lowballing me.

End.

Keep reading

irishsandwich  asked:

Hiii can you please do an imagine where Tom thinks his girlfriend Y/N is cheating on him, but she just spends a lot of time on her new job she is kinda shy about because she is a usual girl and he is famous? xx


of course!

don’t forget to ask me some questions and request some imagines!


Originally posted by tom-hollcnd



you got home from a longs day at work to Tom sitting on the couch, staring blankly ahead at the tv in-front of him. you knew he didn’t know you had a job, it’s not something you really wanted him to know about, so you always cover it up with your mom needing you for a couple hours.

“hey.” you said, fixing your white t-shirt, adjusting the bag on your shoulder that held the job uniform in it.

he didn’t answer you, instead he just ignored you. you raised your eyebrows. this has never happened before. this wasn’t like Tom. if something was bothering him, he’d confront you. right?

“Tom.” you said, trying to get his attention. he sighed before taking his eyes off the screen and looking at you.

“what?” he asked.

you felt something hit you hard as his words were filled with attitude. he’s never acted like this towards you. never. so, what has gotten into him?

“never mind.” you mumbled before walking off towards your shared bedroom and putting the clothes in the laundry room. you walked into the bathroom and pulled your hair up, washing off your makeup form the day. 

the bakery you worked at had you exhausted. mentally and physically, but you loved it there. you’ve always had a passion for baking, even Tom knows that you’d rather bake then do anything else on a rainy Saturday afternoon. 

plus, your chocolate chip cookies were to die for.

you sighed before walking out into the living room again. you didn’t really want to talk to Tom since he wanted to be so moody, but you had to make sure he had at least eaten. 

“did you have dinner?” you asked. he snapped his head towards you, furrowing your eyebrows.

“yeah, i can feed myself you know, i’m a big boy, i’m 21 years old.” 

you grew annoyed, finally not being able to keep your calm,”what the hell is your problem?”

he sighed before closing his eyes and shaking his head.

“i’m serious, Tom. the fuck is wrong with you?” 

he stood up,”you know what’s wrong with me? you! you, y/n! you’re what’s wrong with me!”

the words made your heart hurt. what have you done? what did you do wrong?

“w-what are you talking about?” you stumbled finding words, your eyes getting glossy.

“you’re my problem! i’m here staying so devoted to you, staying so damn loyal to you when i’m out on the road when i could get any girl i want, but i stay loyal to you because i love you! but, what do i get in return? you cheating on me behind my back! and the funny thing is, you act like nothing happened when you get home!”

you took a deep breath, then it hit you.

he thought since you’ve been gone for so long working that you’ve been cheating.

“no, no.” you said quickly,”it’s not what it looks like, i promise-”

he cut you off,”save it, y/n.” he scoffed,”don’t even try to deny it when you go so early in the morning to when you get back home at 8:00 every night. you come home sweaty, you come home with your clothes wrinkled! i’m not dumb!”

“Tom, if you would shut up a second and let me explain-” you said but before you could say another word, he cut you off again.

“go ahead. explain to me why you’re being such a fucking slut.” he said. and with that, your blood was boiling. you angrily wiped the tears off your face before storming to your laundry room.

you snatched the bag off the floor before walking out and throwing it at him, he caught it but still didn’t wipe off the angry look off his face.

“open it.” you said angrily.

“what the fuck, no-”

“just fucking open it, Thomas!” you yelled, this time his face softened a little as you had used his full first name. he unzipped the bag and opened it, becoming confused.

he pulled out the maroon button down shirt that said Red Velvet Bakery on the back of it, your name tag attached to the pocket that rested on the right side of your chest, right under where the logo was.

his face dropped before he looked up at you, the tears continued coming down your face.

“so i’m a fucking slut for working? i’m sorry i can’t have everything handed to me, mr. i’m a fucking movie star, oh my god look at me i’m so famous!” you ranted,”and you wanna accuse me of cheating.”

“y/n, darling-” he started, his face becoming instantly full of regret.

“don’t Tom.” you said,”save it, i’m done with you for right now.”  you turned around and walked to your shared bedroom, slamming the door and climbing into the bed. you nuzzled your head into the pillows, immediately recognizing Tom’s scent, only making you cry more.

a few moments later, there was a soft knock at the door. you rolled your eyes as you turned over, facing the large windows as the nighttime rain pattered against the roof.

“go away.” you groaned.

“princess.” he said, his voice soft,”please.”

you waited a few seconds,”fine.”

he opened the door slowly, still holding your work shirt as he stepped into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed in front of you, Tessa climbing up on top of the bed, nuzzling your hand with her nose, trying to figure out why you were upset.

“i’m so sorry.” he said, his voice cracking,”i should’ve never acted that way and i should’ve never said those things about you.”

you let him continue,”i can’t believe i thought you were cheating on me. i mean, you’re the most loyal, kind hearted person in the world, why would i even think that?” 

you could tell he was frustrated with himself.

“oh my god, i don’t deserve you.” he said, lowering his head and looking at the shirt in his hands. 

“i’m so sorry, y/n.” he said,”i know sorry will never fix things, but i truly regret everything i’ve said to you and i truly really do love you and i don’t want to lose the most important thing in my life.”

you felt your heart break as he let out a shaky breath, tears rolling down his cheeks.

you sat up from your laying position and turned him to face you. his brown eyes filled with sorrow and tears rolling down his cheeks. his hair had been messed up, like he had been tugging at it for a while. he let out a shaky sigh, parting his lips as he tried to regain his steady breathing.

“i’m so sorry.” he said, looking into your eyes.

you cracked as you reached up and wiped the tears off his cheeks. you gave him a small smile.

“Tom, it’s okay-”

“no, no it’s not. i called you a slut, i should never ever call a woman a slut, my mum taught me better.” he said ashamed of himself.

you shook your head,”you were just upset, it’s okay.” 

you brought his head to your chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist. you played with his brown curls as you tried to calm him down, but it wasn’t working too well.

“i’m so sorry.” he repeated into your now tear stained shirt. you pulled him from your shirt, looking him in the eyes.

“Tom, Tom look at me.” you said, grabbing his attention. you grabbed his cheeks and wiped away the tears.

“stop crying, please. you’re going to make yourself sick.” you said, face full of concern. he licked his red, chapped lips.

“o-okay.” he said, nodding.

“i love you, okay?” you said, giving him a smile.

“i love you, too.” he breathed, showing his white teeth. you smiled before kissing his forehead and brining his head to your chest.

“i love you so much.” he mumbled against your chest. you smiled softly as you stroked his hair, easing his nerves.

Fireworks - H.S.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I mumble. The twinkling lights are mesmerizing and I just can’t seem to focus on anyone else, not even the amazing man beside me that brought me here tonight. When Harry only hums a response, I take my gaze off the fireworks ahead of me and stare at his sharp jawline.

Lately Harry had been acting differently. At first I noticed little things, like him closing off and disappearing into his own head for short amounts of time, but after a while he started raising these walls around him, pretending to be someone who is not even though the real Harry I had met two years prior was something I wish everyone had in his life.

Of course, Harry did not only have a name to keep, but also a reputation. Yes, he was pictured as a womanizer and I think he did won best dressed male again last year, although I don’t keep up with that. I keep up with what actual Harry is up too, what ticks him, what he enjoys doing. Most of the things the media bring to attention aren’t very good small details of a bigger picture.

I think that’s why this friendship works so damn well. That might also be the absolute number one reason I fell madly in love with this man. I’d never risk anything to put our friendship in jeopardy, because I honestly believe I’d never find someone like him, ever again. He was the only real thing in a world filled with lies and misinterpretations.

I’m actually terrified I’ll never get to see the real Harry again. And whatever I try, I just can’t seem to get through to him. So when he appeared at my door, giant grin on his rosy lips and a bottle of expensive champagne held up in one hand, I couldn’t decline.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Harry laughs, pulling his bottom lip between his pearly white teeth before his glance is cast in my direction. I can feel the rosy hue appear on my cheeks, but they’re transparent to Harry’s gaze due to the harsh lighting of the fireworks going off in front of us.

“This lighting is doing you good.” I decide to go with a true compliment, although that wasn’t initially on my mind. I love the smile that it draws on his lips, the way his eyes crinkle and how he then casts his glance away. “Do you say that to all men?”

“Only you.” I shrug my shoulders with a grin and let a shriek flow from my lips when I feel Harry’s elbow collide with my ribs. “Hey, I gave you a really nice compliment and this is how you repay me?”
“What do you want to hear? How beautiful you look? You always do, Y/n.” Harry huffs as he rolls his eyes and fixates his gaze back onto the sparkly lights disappearing as quickly as they appear.

“You’re one of the most kind-hearted people I know Harry, you deserve all of this success you’re receiving, you know that right?” I decide to bring up the new single, the one that’s supposed to come out in just a few hours – at midnight to be exact. He hadn’t mentioned it since I had heard it when he had initially finished it. It was his baby, his first solo record and he didn’t seem to utter another word about it. It had been months and it saddened me because it was so damn good.

“How is that new man of yours?” Harry’s voice changes tone, and when I decide to peek I see the frown that has set onto his eyebrow. I guess we’re still not talking about it, and I decide to drop it. Last time I had tried to initiate conversation we ended up not speaking to each other for almost two weeks. Which were the worst two weeks of my life, really. “That’s over and done with, didn’t I mention that?”

“Well no, you didn’t.” Harry sighs and I see the small smile tug at his lips. I scoot a little bit closer to Harry, although I’m not sure why. “Well, sorry then.”
“Why did you break up? I thought you liked him.” Harry throws his arm around my shoulder and I lay my head on his shoulder, taking in a deep breath as I focus back on the popping flashing of light.

“I never really did, I think.” I mumble, dropping my hand onto Harry’s knee and giving it a firm squeeze. “I’m searching for something else.” I finish off, feeling my heart throb in my throat. Indirectly, in my own head, I had confessed my love for Harry. He would never see it as such, but that didn’t take away any of the anxiety coursing through my body.

“Well it’s great that you know what you want.”

“Don’t you know what you want?”

“Yeah, but I’m sure she hasn’t even given it a thought. I think I’m nothing more to her than just a really good friend.”

“Who says that? Harry if you want this girl, go and get her. Do you even realize how amazing you are? You always put me up when I’m down. You watch the most horrifying movies with me whenever I want to, without any complaint. You once showed up at my door just because I sounded blue to you on the phone. I’m sure whatever girl you want is just as madly in love with you as you are with her.” I grin, squeezing his knee for emphasis as I let my eyes dart along the sky, trying to follow every firework going off.

“Do you know what sign of the times is about?” Harry suddenly questions and I feel myself stiffen in his embrace as he for the first time in weeks talks about his song or upcoming album.
“Well I interpreted it as hope.” I decide to voice my own thoughts and feelings as simply as possible.

“That’s the great part of it. I think – in whatever time of your life you are, it might – I don’t know – can be interpreted in whatever way it suits you.” Harry starts to stumble over his words as if he were nervous, his ring clad fingers toying with his jeans as he avoids my gaze as well as the sounds going on around us.

“So you’re saying I’m hoping for something?” I smile, somewhat feeling my own nerves bubbling in my stomach as I pull away from Harry, smiling brightly at his twinkling eyes.

“Yeah, you could say it like that. But I think we all hope something, right?” Harry grins right back at me and I slowly let my eyes close, nodding once, but firmly at his statement – or question.

“Hm.” I agree verbally, wanting to lay my head again against his shoulder but he stops me, his eyes searching mine tentatively as I keep frozen in my spot. I let a low breath slip past my opened lips, my tongue darting out to wet them before I suck my bottom lip into my mouth, slowly biting down on it.

Something seems to click in Harry’s mind and before I can completely comprehend what is happening or is about to happen, Harry leans in but hovers right before his lips are about to meet mine. He lets me decide if I want this – if I want to kiss him and as soon as my brain has caught up to current events, I lean the short distance and press my lips firmly against his.

Harry’s large hand cups my cheek and for a second I feel like I might burst out into tears of happiness, but instead I settle for a large grin which almost breaks up our kiss. I feel the vibrations of Harry’s chuckle against my lips as my eyelids flutter.

Harry pulls away, keeping his hand in place, as he seems to catch his breath. His lips press to mine once more in a gentle, simple peck right as the last few fireworks make their last pop in front of us, illuminating the dark night sky.

sourwolfstories ultimate blind!stiles fic rec list

I See You Better by theroguesgambit

He dreams, sometimes, of his last moments of seeing.

At the church in Mexico, Stiles is blinded by a Berserker. Derek uses his new wolf status to act as a guide dog, while Stiles adjusts to his new reality.

Out of Nowhere by CaptainStilinski

It started so gradually that Stiles didn’t think much of it. Just chalked it up to too many nights using his amazing googling powers as requested -more like threatened- by the one and only broody werewolf himself.

It was nothing really. Just a barely there fuzziness around the corners of his vision. He’d blink a few times, rub his eyes, and it would go away.

Stiles didn’t think anything of it.

Serendipity by mynamjo

Derek moves back to Beacon Hills to open up his new art gallery when he meets a blind boy who won’t leave him alone.

Cornerstone by Vendelin

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

Windows by dr_girlfriend

Derek has a new neighbor who won’t stop looking.

Excerpt:

“You’re blind,” Derek said flatly, the anger draining from him so suddenly he felt almost woozy. His vision cleared, his claws sliding back into blunt fingernails.

“Thanks for the memo, genius,” the kid said acidly. “I can still fucking defend myself, so don’t take another damn step.”

“Fuck, I…I’m sorry,” Derek stuttered.

“What?!” The kid’s brow crinkled. “I mean — what?! You’re fucking sorry!?” His lips thinned into a harsh line. “What, is this some kinda Hallmark movie where you’re discovering the error of your ways because you don’t want to rob a blind person?! That’s fucking condescending, man. I’ll have you know that —”

“Just, wait.” Derek interrupted what was apparently the start of a convincing argument as to why he should rob the kid after all, feeling his head start to spin. “This is — it’s a misunderstanding. I’m — I’m not robbing you. You’re — you’re safe, okay? I’m taking three steps back. Just — just let me explain.”

“Explain why you came busting into my apartment? Yeah, go right ahead, man, I can’t wait to hear this epic tale.”

Lend Me Your Eyes, Give Me Your Heart by Akiruchan

Stiles’ life sucks. He’s honest enough with himself to admit to at least that. More often than not he spends his free time running for his life, saving people from creatures who want to rip his face off, and all around having a distinct lack of self-preservation. It sort of comes with the territory. Not something he can avoid when his circle of friends happen to be werewolves.

There’s Monsters at Home by calrissian18

“How did you get past the wards?” Derek had put them up, with Peter’s grudging assistance, after the Alpha pack had made themselves at home a few times too many.

The guy pulled a face. “You mean the wards a five-year-old girl with the mental ability of a goldfish could deconstruct?” He blinked wide eyes at Derek. “Gee, I don’t know. It’s bound to go down as one of life’s great mysteries.”

Derek despised him.

Sinking Like a Stone (Carry On) by iamnightbird

Derek Hale is convinced he can protect his pack from anything. Kanimas, other packs, even the supernatural that remain myths (like demons and the such), but an event hits him like a punch to the gut to remind him that the things he can’t protect his pack from are the everyday horrors in which life makes us her bitch. [Blind!Stiles]

Lost in the Woods by idareu2bme

Stiles gets lost in the woods. His savior is a rather unlikely hero.

Love is Blind by super_queer

Stiles loses his sight in a terrible accident, but Derek is determined to give him a good life regardless.

Keep reading