he understands that sleep is the most important thing in life

anonymous asked:

How about a semi angsty fight with the rfa+V but they make up because HAPPY ENDINGS ARE NICE

I’m a slut for angst don’t give me this power 

Yoosung: 

✮ you had accidentally knocked the power cord to his computer while you were cleaning and he was playing LOLOL 
✮ he screamed 
✮ he was ranting and raving about how he was in the middle of an important raid and he was so close to levelling up 
✮ and you’re kinda standing there with a laundry basket and a pile of clothes almost over your head 
✮ and you don’t know what to do 
✮ you kind of want to cry 
✮ you kind of want to throw the laundry at his head 
✮ until 
✮ “rika never did things like this!!”
✮ oh 
✮ of course
✮ it somehow always got back to this point. comparing you with rika 
✮ sometimes he didn’t mean it or even realise he’d done it. but this was different 
✮ you remain eerily calm, putting the laundry down before turning to glare at yoosung 
✮ a wave of realisation hits him and he’s just full of guilt 
✮ you very calmly tell him you’re going to spend the night with jaehee, and ask him not to contact you 
✮ he begins crying and pleading with you to stop and stay 
✮ he’s so sorry and he’s just hating himself while you pack an overnight bag
✮ he’s practically on his knees and following you, begging you to stay 
✮ you kind of pause when you see the raw sorrow in his face 
✮ you sigh and stop for a moment 
✮ you’re hurt but you know that you have to talk it out with yoosung for it to get better 
✮ you both talk for a few hours, and he completely understands your viewpoint and he apologises 18923475829 times 
✮ he stays off of LOLOL for a few weeks, and even after that he tries not to get too obsessed– because that’s how the whole problem started 
✮ he just doesn’t want to lose you 

Jaehee: 

✎ you just wanted her to stop working so much 
✎ she was working overtime at the cafe 
✎ so much that she practically lived there 
✎ she was there after-hours and before-hours 
✎ sometimes she slept there and wouldn’t come home 
✎ so you book a holiday for her in secret, making plans behind her back for the cafe so it can function without her
✎ you tell all the employees and the deliverers who are close with the shop 
✎ but when you sit jaehee down and announce your plan 
✎ she gets so cold 
✎ she wants none of it 
✎ she’s not overworking herself dammit 
✎ she’s just doing what needs to be done 
✎ you try telling her that she doesn’t need to coddle the cafe, that you and the other emplyees were fully capable of running it 
✎ but she’s so worked up 
✎ and she says that you can’t 
✎ you’re clearly offended and you’re upset that your hard work planning this holiday for her is being pushed aside 
✎ somehow, you get her to take the holiday and see how it pans out 
✎ she’s calling you constantly 
✎ eventually you start ignoring her calls and texts 
✎ she gets so freaked out that the cafe is literally crumbling with you in charge so she rushes home 
✎ and you’re so mad when she rushes into the cafe, only to stop when she sees everything is going as usual 
✎ “b-but you weren’t answering my calls! I thought something happened!” 
✎ “jaehee i was ignoring you because you have no trust in me and I was busy making sure you could enjoy your holiday!” you were screaming 
✎ she felt so bad 
✎ she took her vacation and came back a lot better 
✎ you two made up, and she explained that her problem came from being jumin’s assistant for so long (if she didn’t do her job everything fucked up bc jumin is horrible at his job lmao) 
✎ she was a lot more calm after that and took breaks when she needed to (even took some time off on every second weekend- when you took care of the cafe) 

Zen: 

✿ he was working 
✿ of course 
✿ his job was the root of most of your arguments as a couple 
✿ but this time he had gone out for drinks with the cast 
✿ while you were standing outside of a restaurant waiting for him- you were going to have a date since filming was wrapping up that day (which is why the cast was having drinks in the first place) 
✿ you had faith in him, and stayed there until the restaurant closed 
✿ which was very, very late in the evening, seeing as it was part bar 
✿ as you were walking home, upset 
✿ zen came stumbling out of the bar with his castmates 
✿ he doesn’t notice you at first 
✿ until one of his acting buddies points at you, not recognising you, and laughs about how you’re soaked in rain and look like you’ve had that worst day of your life 
✿ you hear him 
✿ zen chuckles slightly before looking closer and realising who it is 
✿ swears up a storm as he pushes away everyone- muttering out something like ‘ssss my girlfirendddd’ 
✿ he tries to grab you because you’re storming away 
✿ he’s trying to coo and ask you why you were out so late because he’s drunk and doesn’t remember 
✿ you slap his hands away before screaming at him 
✿ “I was waiting for you! Our date for celebrating the end of filming?! Guess you had other plans, huh?!” 
✿ he’s so shocked like 
✿ it looks like he’s been smacked in the face 
✿ he follows you all the way home, apologising profusely 
✿ you make him sleep on the couch and lock yourself in the bedroom 
✿ when he wakes up the next morning he remembers, even through his wicked hangover 
✿ he cooks an amazing breakfast and waits for you to come out 
✿ when you do he hands you flowers with a card about how sorry he is
✿ he swears that he’ll make it up to you- and never let it happen ever again 

Jumin: 

₩ he was planning on properly introducing you to his father 
₩ but he was getting so controlling 
₩ he literally dressed you and did your hair and practically gave you a lecture on how to act and what to say 
₩ you’re kind of pissed at him but try to understand that he’s just stressed about how his father will react 
₩ his father loves you, and you loosen up- begin to be yourself 
₩ his father leaves after blessing your relationship together 
₩ but jumin is fuming 
₩ ‘what were you doing?! I told you not to say this or that’ blah blah 
₩ you’re just so shocked 
₩ “jumin that’s not who I am!” 
₩ “that’s who you should be!” 
₩ silence. 
₩ jumin has never been afraid of anything 
₩ but he’s afraid of this silence and the tears that are slipping down your cheeks 
₩ he’s afraid of what he said. he’s afraid of himself 
₩ he stumbles over his words as he tries to apologise, saying that isn’t what he meant 
₩ you can’t hear him though, all you can hear is his previous words echoing through your head 
₩ you tell him you’re sleeping in the guest room that night- the only thing you said before locking him out 
₩ when you get up the next morning 
₩ you open the door and see jumin sitting on the ground agains the wall next to your door, elizabeth pulled to his chest 
₩ his eyes were puffy and his cheeks and nose red 
₩ he had a note next to him that he hadn’t finished 
₩ it read ‘I’m sorry’ over and over, tear stains smudging some of the letters 
₩ you sigh, and kneel down to wake him up 
₩ he explains that he thought his father wouldn’t accept you unless you were like the other women and he didn’t want his father to come between your relationship anymore than he already had with the Sarah bullshit 
₩ and you make up but he spends so long reassuring you that he loves you so much, just the way you are 

Seven/Saeyoung: 

✞ he was doing it again
✞ he was trying to push you away 
✞ someone had approached you while you were on the street, asking about a ‘707′ 
✞ when you told saeyoung he got so scared and reverted back to his old ways 
✞ trying to push you away so that you ‘wouldn’t get hurt’ 
✞ when you try to kiss his cheek he physically pushes you away (after acting hostile all day) 
✞ and you trip over his wires and fall- hitting your head on the ground 
✞ he’s shocked, you’re shocked 
✞ he reaches forward to try and help you but freezes when you flinch away 
✞ he feels like less than shit 
✞ he feels like death himself. the grim reaper- that’s him. 
✞ he watches helplessly as you stumble to your feet and rush off to the bedroom, locking yourself inside (even though Saeyoung had control over the locks) 
✞ he spends about an hour just leaning over his desk with his head in his hands, thinking over how terrible he had been 
✞ how you deserve so much better 
✞ he was unstable. he was dangerous. 
✞ you were the light. you were everything 
✞ after a while he unlocks the door and sends your robot-cat in with flowers and a note in his mouth 
✞ it’s a handwritten letter from saeyoung, telling you he was just scared 
✞ that he was so sorry. that he loved you more than he could ever understand and he didn’t know how to deal with that yet 
✞ you slowly walk out, seeing him sitting on the ground somewhere, surrounded by the mess that he’d made 
✞ he had thrown all the cushions and pillows on the couch. ripped up the first drafts of the note. he’d even knocked one of his monitors to the ground, shattering it.
✞ you sit with him and talk together 
✞ you make a plan for how you can both deal with these times better 
✞ he promises to spend his life making sure you’re as happy as you can be 

V/Jihyun:

☼ i’m so sorry but i don’t want to hurt this precious roll 

12.12 coda. deancas.

“So…”

Dean.” 

“Oh, come on, man. You can’t expect me to just…”

“I don’t expect anything from you.”

“Well, I…” The words die on his lips. He doesn’t know what he wants to say, what he can say. Cas loves him, and that’s just- he can’t even wrap his head around it.

Cas takes advantage of Dean’s inability to finish to push past him and walk toward the kitchen. It takes Dean a minute to collect himself, steel himself, and round up enough courage to follow. When he walks through the doorway he sees Cas fiddling with the coffee machine.

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Living Next-Door to Teamiplier

This was fun to do. I couldn’t stop smiling while writing this! 
It’s pretty self-explanatory, this is a list of what it would be like living next to Mark, Ethan, Tyler, Amy and Katherine.  
Hope you guys enjoy!

Originally posted by murphranger

-You begin to question your neighbors sanity. 

-At first, you thought they were a bunch of hilarious nut-jobs. Maybe have a few screws loose and you should probably be worried for yourself. 

-But after meeting them personally and Mark explaining what he does for a living, EVERYTHING MADE SENSE! 

-After meeting everyone, you sort of fell into a sense of understanding and acceptance. 

-The first few times you caught the boys in dresses, you couldn’t help but laugh and crack jokes. 

-They flipped you off, jokingly criticizing whatever you were wearing at the time.

-Now, when you see Tyler in a massive turkey outfit, you just sip your coffee and wave at them from across the fence. 

-They’ve apologized many times for the weird noises coming from inside their house. 

-They give you some warning if they’re going to be doing stuff outside. Usually accompanied by Mark’s cooking because he felt bad about the loud music the night before.

-You actually went over and knocked on their door to make sure they were ok after hearing lots of screaming. 

-You found out they were just making a video. 

-They invited you inside to watch. 

-Funniest afternoon of your life. You still laugh about it weeks afterwards. 

-Amy and Katherine chat with you over the fence. They ask for cooking ingredients sometimes because Mark and the boys used it in their videos. 

-Anything you see through the windows, is entirely restricted to be spoken about between you and them. 

-You at first thought they were doing it for fun. (Which they were of course).

-But after watching a few of Mark’s videos and vlogs and live-streams, you’re safe to say you admire Mark and his work even more. 

-You donate to his live-streams and he shouts a thank you from the upstairs window. 

-You give him a thumbs-up from your side of the fence. 

-Ethan sometimes running to your house to hide from the others. 

-“They want me to do weird things, (Y/N)! Strange, unnatural things! Don’t let them find me!” 

-When this happens, you feign ignorance of Ethan’s location. 

-But Mark brings you over home-cooked meals and you give the blue-boy up instantly. 

-Ethan calling you over the fence because he doesn’t want to live with these “weirdos” anymore. 

-“I’ll sleep on the couch! I’ll rub your feet and clean! I beg you!”

-Him silently crying in your direction and mouthing, “Help” every time they shoot a video outside and you’re watching.

-Tyler is tall enough to see over the fence. 

-He leans over the top and chats with you while you’re gardening. 

-If you’re having trouble with something in the house, he’ll come over and help fix/move it. 

-Chica met you once and now escapes to go see you. 

-She’ll sleep on the front mat and wait for you to come to the door. 

-Tyler lifts her up so you can pat her over the fence. 

-You dog-sit when Teamiplier go away.

-The rest of the street think you’re all nuts. 

-Which is fine because you don’t like people coming uninvited to your door. 

-Except Teamiplier. 

-They pretty much treat your home like their own. (Within respective reason) 

-Mark knocks and enters.

-Ethan just waltzes right in. 

-Tyler knocks and waits patiently for you to open the door and allow him inside.

-Whenever something is thrown onto your side of the fence, the boys will try to clamber/jump over to get it. 

-This ends in a lot of swearing, sometimes a scrape or two.-Usually you throw it back over. But then it comes back a few more times. 

-So you sat on your side of the fence hitting whatever came over with a tennis-racket. 

-”Ignore the person on the other side of the fence!” Mark told the camera.
“They’re not important! They’re a nobody!” Ethan waved his hand in your direction.
“I’m keeping this ball now!” 

-Mark’s community have only seen glimpses of you. An arm or the top of your head peeking over the fence. 

-But you’re still a huge part of the channel since the boys call out for you in most of the videos that are filmed outside. 

-You answer them either with a loud, rude noise or a sarcastic comment that they all laugh at. 

-You had pretended to be annoyed when a stray foam arrow had flown through the open window of your kitchen. 

-But you couldn’t help but find the whole thing funny. 


-“Who the fuck just tried to assassinate me?” 
“Sorry! We’re really sorry!” 
“Next time aim better!” 

-Being Neighbors with Teamiplier is never dull. There is always something to smile or laugh at, and you have grown close to the bunch of weirdos over the fence.

a cog in the machine pt. 1

pairing: reader x jimin, yoongi

genre: robot!jimin, assassin!au, mafia!au, angst, smut

word count: 6,954

warnings: depictions of violence, descriptive smut, mention of minor character death

A/N: thank you to @kenwayer27 for helping me develop the plot of this series. thank you to @gukvory for putting up with my constant teasers and torment.

Originally posted by the-rap-man

a cog in the machine:  a small or insignificant member of a larger organization or system

“Run!” you heard Hyunsik shout behind you as your feet gained momentum on the pavement. Yoongi was already several yards ahead of you, leading the way to safety. The three of you had been ambushed. Your targets now made you the target.

You could feel your heartbeat in your chest as you tried to run as fast as you could, but you were stuck in place. There was no place for you to go. There was no place for you to hide as the sounds of their bullets started to ring through your ears.

“I told you to run!” he shouted again, angry that your feet hadn’t made any progress.

“I can’t move!” you shout as you turn around to face him.

The air gets knocked out of your lungs when you see the sight in front of you. Hyunsik is on his knees. Flowers grow from chest where the metal bullets made impact. He silently begs you to turn around, not wanting you to see the gardenia’s blooming. You let out a silent scream, no one able to hear your cries as you watch the petals of the white flowers spread open as they drain the light from his eyes.

Your eyes snapped open to a room full of darkness. You were dreaming. It was just a dream. You grabbed at your chest only to find that you weren’t dressed. Sitting up, you realized that you had fallen asleep in his bed. The clock on his bedside table read 4:30 in the morning. You had to be up in 30 minutes.

He doesn’t stir as you slip out of his bed, cursing yourself for breaking one of the most important rules between the two of you: never stay the night. Sleeping with your partner was already a very bad idea and neither of you wanted to deal with what could happen if either of you developed feelings. Emotional weakness could get either one of you killed.

And as your dream reminded you, you had already lost enough.

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Back

“Why can’t I come with you?”

That question had been resonating in Harry’s mind for the past 12 hours and, despite having very logical reasoning behind it, he was finding it increasingly hard not to break down and buy two more plane tickets. His daughter was very good at persuasion, especially when she was upset, and every cry that came from her lips lessened Harry’s resolve immensely.

But, you both had decided that this particular trip was going to be one that you and your daughter sat out of. Harry was only going to be gone for four days and the weather forecast for New York wasn’t great; it was just as easy for you to keep yourself and your daughter at home in London while Harry made the trek, instead of having to lug both yourselves and tons of extra warm clothing in case you got stuck there for a few extra days.

Every other trip that Harry had made in the four years since your daughter had been born, he had made with the two of you in tow; his schedule was flexible and sparse enough that adding two extra bodies on a week long trip to LA wasn’t a big deal. When he had gone on tour for six months, he had brought you with him; there was no way he was going away that long and leaving the two loves in his life at home. Your daughter was now used to being a little jetsetter with daddy and felt quite special whenever she got to fly in a plane and get “important” orange juice from the flight attendant in a big-girl cup. You weren’t sure exactly what her reaction would be in learning that she would be left behind with you on this trip, but you figured it wouldn’t be good.

You opted to keep the news under wraps until as close to Harry’s departure time as you could, just to avoid long, drawn out meltdowns if that were the case. The afternoon before, you and Harry sat down with her when she was in a good mood (fed, not in need of a nap and happily playing with toys) and told her that daddy was going to have to go away for a few days, but that she would have to stay home with you. Her face immediately dropped in confusion; this was unheard of, why would daddy be going away without her? You ALWAYS went with him when he travelled.

“Why can’t I come with you?” she pouted.

“Daddy’s only going for a few days and it’s going to be cold there,” he tried to explain, “You and mummy wouldn’t have any fun.”

“But I want to come!”

“I know you do, love, but I promise you’ll be so much happier staying here. You wouldn’t see daddy lots anyway; he’s got a lot of boring meetings to go to with Uncle Jeff,” Harry explained, crinkling his nose.

“If it’s boring, why don’t you stay here with me and mummy and Uncle Jeff can go by himself?” she argued.

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Home

Originally posted by riverdalebish


Pairing: Zach Dempsey x Reader

Request: “3 - Zach Dempsey”

Prompt:

3. “Home is whenever I’m with you.”

Word count: 1.196

Posted: 12th of May 2017

A/N: It is finally Friday and it means that I am posting many imagines tonight! Here’s a Zach imagine to start, requested by my lovely Aja. I am trying to complete her long list of imagines and I am enjoying it!
Anyway, I hope that you enjoy it and please don’t be afraid to send me some feedbacks, my ask is always open for them, even when you need someone to talk to.
I am so overwhelmed for the requests and I hope to finish them before I start my training period, but I doubt it. I am trying my best to write as many imagines as I can in these days though. I just hope that you love my imagines and you enjoy them. Thank you so much.

P.S.: I am not accepting part 2 requests as I have more than a hundred prompt requests in my ask box. There’s a little bit of chaos in my head right now and I would appreciate if you ask for something else, than staying on the same story lines. Thank you.

- G. x

Link: Prompt list

Warning: a little bit of angst.


“Zach, I’ve made myself clear earlier today,” Your recently ex-boyfriend was revealed by your front door as you decided to open it after several loud deafening and annoying knocks. “I don’t want to see you anymore.” You emotionlessly stated, you still had fresh tear stains on your cheeks as you spent your whole day crying on the couch.

“(Y/N), please let me explain.” Zach worriedly insisted as he knew how much he hurt you, although he didn’t want to and he never meant to do it. “You know that I’ve never wanted to hurt you, right?”

“Zach, you’ve already hurt me.” You shook your head as you bit your lip, trying to stop yourself from crying. You were sure that you were vulnerable, but you wanted to put some barriers between Zach and your heart, he hurt you and you couldn’t just let him in like that again. “I heard you and Marcus, talking about some sort of bet.” You explained and a tight knot was being formed in your stomach by the thought of it. It hurt you and you couldn’t not point it out.

“(Y/N), I am here to explain you what that bet really meant.” You heard in his voice that he was trying to convince you. You were hurt and he knew that you wouldn’t let yourself in that easily.

“Zach, everything’s clear to me now.” Your lips suddenly shook as you tried your best to mask yourself, to be strong. You spent happy days with Zach before and then you would find yourself crying over some stupid issues, that was stressing.

The thing really hurt you: you heard him talking to Marcus about some bet and Marcus mentioned your name, as if they were betting on you. You didn’t expect it, mostly from your boyfriend, because you believed that Zach couldn’t do such thing and he would never do anything to hurt you.

You believed it, until he proved that you were wrong. You were having a very healthy relationship, but then you would realize that he was being a gentleman just because of a stupid and useless bet. What a shame, wasn’t it?

Zach surely cared for you, he showed his love and his interest in you. He would listen to your problems, to your thoughts, to your bland jokes. He would cheer you up, when you needed someone by your side. He would sing you to sleep whenever you felt alone or terrified of your talkative and noisy thoughts at night.

He would do anything for you and he was the perfect one because of those factors, but he just broke your trust, he played with your feelings and, most of all, he made fun of you, together with his friends.

Disappointing, right? How did he have a peaceful mind after all these months? How? You didn’t know and you didn’t even want to know.

“(Y/N), you heard Marcus’ version of things. You never heard mine!” He held your hand, but you quickly pushed him away. You noticed that he looked disappointed and unwanted. He felt rejected, because he thought that you would understand him, that you would show a little bit of your compassion, even after he hurt you.

Zach loved you because you were understanding and you never judged him when he did something wrong. You would always listen to his version of things and you were happy that you were able to talk to him of his mistakes, but in that instance? It was hard for you to listen to him, it was hard because your ears and brain were already stuffed with your negative thoughts of him, with his little white lies.

Maybe you were just jumping into conclusions, maybe Zach wasn’t really betting on you, maybe you were wrong and you felt guilty for eavesdropping, but everything hurt you. You had a heavy weight in your chest and you couldn’t swallow your pride that fast. Unluckily.

“Go home, Zach!” Little tears started running down your face, wetting your still-red and burning cheeks once again. You pushed him away, because you couldn’t stand to hear more lies from him.

“No, I am already home!” Zach protested as he took some steps forward, diminishing the distance between your bodies.

“What are you talking about?” You slightly pushed him away, but he was surely stronger and taller than you. The push didn’t even affect him and you hated him even more for that.

“(Y/N), I am already home because,” He cut himself from speaking when he grabbed your forearm and he insisted on touching your soft and warm hands. “home is whenever I am with you.

By hearing those pleasant and sweet words, you cried him a river as the weight in your chest became lighter and it was easier to deal with it. You were flattered and you felt lucky and loved, because he wasn’t giving up on you. In fact, he was fighting even more, fighting to win you back.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you and I know that I never did anything bad to hurt you.” He pulled you into a tight and warm hug as he noticed how broken and sad you were, letting you to pour your heart out.

You let his muscular arms wrap around your fragile body and you leant your head on his chest, letting him to mend your broken heart, to gather all the broken fragments of your heart.

“I’m sorry for what you’ve heard, but I think that you should listen to my version too.” He caressed your hair and played with it as he rubbed your back. You bit your lip as your tears slowly stained his varsity jacket. “Marcus’ truths aren’t my truths. Are you letting me to explain?”

“No excuses and no sugarcoated lies?” You asked him as you tried to assure yourself that talking to him would worth something.

“No excuses, no sugarcoated lies, just the truth, my truth.” Zach assured you as he pressed his lips on your forehead. “I really love you and I will never hurt you.”

Zach has always been sincere and true to you. He was a gentleman, right? Maybe he was saying the truth or maybe not, but you knew from the bottom of your heart that you loved Zach. No one and nothing could stop you from doing it, because he was your life, the love of your life.

People messes up, but there would always be a second chance for the people that we loved.

“I love you too, Zach,” You finally said after a long and peaceful silence. You realized how important Zach was for you and you couldn’t lose him just like that. “so much.” You added with a smiled and you wrapped your arms around him as he hugged you tighter. You adored the warmth that his body emanated, while he felt lucky and relieved that you gave him a second chance. You were finally thankful to get back home, after a long and tiring day of crying.

After all, Zach was your home too and he would always be the one you would come home to, no matter what happened.

The 4th Episode: A Complete Johnlock Fix-It

The screen is black.  A woman’s voice cuts through.  It’s Molly’s voice.

“Forward? Or Backward?”

A blinding white light floods the darkness.  A pulsating heartbeat. 

“Backward,” sighs Sherlock.

White noise stings as scenes are replayed backward. Sherlock and John running backward.  John’s fist recoiling from Sherlock in the morgue.  The christening, backward. The birth, backward.  The plane glides into the air, tail first. Magnussen’s limp body jolts into standing position, Sherlock puts the gun back in John’s pocket. The flashdrive jumps from the fire, into John’s hand.  The gun drops, the coin falls back into Mary’s fingers. Sherlock raises from Magnussen’s floor, the blood-stained shirt turns freshly white. Mary stands across from Sherlock, gun drawn.

Roll Title Credits.

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psycho 02 / taehyung

Originally posted by sunshine-yj

summary: ‘’you’re mine now baby girl’’

warning and a note: this chapter  has some sexual harassment in it so if you are uncomfortable with reading this kind of story please stop right here, i understand this might be hurtful to some people but this is just my crazy imagination and I’m sorry if you have ever experienced anything like this and I also wish this doesn’t happen to anyone ever, i know that taehyung isn’t like this in real life this is just a story

chapter 01 chapter 03 chapter 04 chapter 05 chapter 06—> new!


‘’scared of me?’’ taehyung hissed in your ear making you shiver all over your body. he had his hands still on you, getting more and more into you pressing you firmly against the door. with no where to run or to do anything you could just stay still and wait for it what’s to happen. taehyung didn’t seem like he’s going to let go of you that easily, it’s like he enjoyed whatever he was doing but out of unknown reason. and the most important question why and why you?

he moved his face down to your neck, feeling the hot heath of his breath on your skin made you nervous and most importantly scared. you could feel something wet on your skin and soon you noticed he was pressing his lips on your neck right where you’re sweet spot was. since you found him quite attractive it was very hard to fight back and refuse to make him stop what he was doing. but the feeling he was giving you, well you have never felt something like that. trying to move your neck out of his way didn’t work since he then put one of his hands on your neck turning it to his left side he then glided his tongue on your neck.

‘’stop please…’’ you finally managed to say while he just laughed into your neck doing it over and over again. what was even more surprising is that you didn’t cry, usually in a situation where a guy is doing something a girl fights back but you just stood there. maybe it was the alcohol or you just found him attractive, or should we say hot.

‘’taehyung…’’ you said but this time it wasn’t your normal way of saying it, it sounded like you moaned his name a bit. you instantly felt hot and you could feel blood rush all over your body. 

‘’yes baby girl? am i making you feel good’’ moving his face away from your neck he finally looks up at you with his eyes. those eyes that he gave you just minutes before he caught you in the bathroom. licking his lips he ran his thumb over your’s as he kept staring at them. each time he would touch you it gave you goosebumps but at the same time also some fear. 

realizing this is all so wrong you get a chance of pushing him back with full force as he landed on the ground hitting his head on the rim of the bathtub. quickly turning around and trying to get out, he was again too fast for you so this time he pressed his chest against your back while your head was against the door. 

‘’you trying to mess with me huh?’’ his hot breath was replaced with a cold one but it wasn’t his breath. it was something sharp almost cutting your skin. noticing how he pushed your head back a bit in the mirror you saw that he was holding a knife against your neck. a smaller one though that he pulled out of his pockets before slamming you against the door again.

‘’taehyung…please don’t..’’ fearing for yourself you started crying. tears kept coming and coming now finally you were scared for your own life. not knowing what he wants was even scarier and also with no chance to run you just waited until he would slit your throat.

he suddenly packs his knife back into his pocket turning you around just like he did before only to hold your face in his hands. he made you look up at him as his eyes were different. filled with sadness he ran both of his thumbs against your cheeks wiping the tears away.

‘’teaehyung let me go please why are you doing this to me?’’ you managed to say back but between sobs. who knows what time it was and if your friend is worried sick where you are. reality is she isn’t here and she cannot help you. you are on your own in this.

‘’shhh baby don’t cry…were going to go home okay? i’m so sorry i never wanted to make you cry it is all may fault’’ you noticed tears at the corner of his eyes but you just didn’t get it why in the world was he crying at all. you were the one in pain while he was enjoying whatever he was doing. 

you nodded at his comment and he opened the door holding you by the waist, almost digging his fingers into your skin making sure you won’t escape. as the two of you were passing by the crowds you noticed your friend was no where to be seen, as she might of went home or is looking for you. taehyung started leading you to his car opening the door and buckling you in. for sure you thought he was going to take you home, just in that moment you felt as he realized he was doing wrong things. calming your self down he started the car and you didn’t even care if he was drunk or not you just wanted to get home and go to sleep. forever forget about all of this.

but soon you saw that the two of you were getting further and further from the city. the shiny road was now replaced with a dark one, no light around except the one his car was giving. less and less houses were beside the road or if the houses were there they were all so bad looking. basically as if no one hasn’t lived there for years.

‘’taehyung where are you taking me? my house isn’t there..’’

he turned to you around with one hand on the wheel the other one placed now on your thigh, giving you a smirk he proceeded to say

‘’you’re not going anywhere, you’re mine now baby girl’’

anonymous asked:

The RFA reacting to waking up with MC for thr first time? Not in a sex type of way but maybe they fell asleep on the couch or MC sat next to them till she fell asleep type of thing. Fluffy is nice :p

Fluffy is life! ^^ Hope you enjoy this!

RFA reacting to waking up with MC for the first time


Zen

  • He woke up with the morning breeze blowing in his face, was he so tired that he really dozed off on his rooftop?
  • He looks down and… you??? You and him with a blanket wrapped around you two???
  • Wants to scream and push you away before the beast comes out, but… you look so peaceful in your sleep, so comfortable… you shouldn’t be so comfortable around a man, all men are wolv… oh, shit! You’re hugging him and snuggling in his chest.
  • Now he remembers, you two went to gym together and then he invited you over to cool off after such an intense work out session
  • He feels disgusted at himself for leaning against you like that, he was probably all sweaty. Well, so were you, but your sweat smells like cinnamon to him, so he doesn’t mind.
  • You two went to his rooftop and talked a little drinking a beer. You seemed cold, so he grabbed a blanket, and next thing you know… you were cuddling like this…
  • Despite all his fear about losing control, he feels so glad, he would love to wake up with you all over him like this every morning, but probably somewhere more comfortable like his couch or… his bed…
  • NO! BAD THOUGHTS, ZEN! SNAP OUT OF IT!
  • “Zen… are you okay?” your sleepy voice and you half lidded eyes, this is too fucking much!  “You keep shaking, are you cold?” he feels really hot, actually…
  • “I-I’m fine, MC, don’t worry.” “Okay, so go back to sleep…” you nuzzle at him again. Oh well… you heard her, beast, go back to sleep…


Yoosung

  • He feels his neck a little wry, this pillow seems different… wait! It’s not a pillow, it’s… it’s… YOUR LAP!
  • There’s so much for him to feel flustered. You’re so close, he’s sleeping on your lap and you are IN PUBLIC!
  • Oh yeah… LOLOL is about to send a new expansion, so there he is camping in front of the store waiting to be one of the firsts to buy it.
  • How he managed to bring you along is a thing he’ll never know… but what’s more important right now is… the sweet smell of cherry emanating from your hair…and your legs are so comfortable…
  • Wait! What? No… the most important thing is… why did he drag you to this? And he should have offered his lap, or… at least, his shoulder for you to rest! You must be so uncomfortable! But you look ok… and so cute…
  • Are people in line looking at you? Oh no… this is so embarrassing… they must think you are a couple…
  • But would it be bad? People seeing you as a couple? He would never say it out loud, but he fantasized so much about doing couple’s things with you…
  • Cooking together, having meals together, waking up together… at the same bed… oh no no no! What was he thinking? This was so naughty, especially having you this close…
  • “Yoosung, are you feeling sick? You’re so red… maybe you have a fever?” he didn’t even notice you waking up. You put your hand on his forehead, could he get even redder? He looks at you all tense, your eyes are a little squinched because you didn’t wake up completely, so…  cute!
  • “Hum… you don’t feel that hot…, just rest a little more, okay?  I’ll wake you up when the store opens.” He hesitates a lot, but you’re so warm and he’s so tired… he awkwardly rests his head again on your lap and feel your fingers resting lazily on his hair, well, none of his fantasies went that far…


Jaehee

  • She wakes up when she feels your head leaning on her shoulder… oh… Zen can ever know you two slept during his movie.
  • WAIT! You’re sleeping on her? YOU are sleeping on HER?
  • She feels kinda honored that you think she’s comfortable enough for you to just lean on, but… why?
  • You two came to see this movie Zen has a cameo on, maybe you two got too tired of waiting for his scene? She would be offended if it was someone else, but since it is you… she understands, she felt asleep too, after all.
  • She wonders if people on the row behind you think you’re just a couple and you are snuggling in her because it’s romantic… she giggles at this thought because, well… it feels sort of… exciting?
  • Yes… it’s such a bright feeling… the idea of people seeing you as a couple, imagining you do these cute and cheesy couple things… she would like doing these cute and cheesy things with you…
  • If you did that while you’re watching one of Zen’s DVDs together, on her couch… oh! What would she do?
  •  “Jaehee… did I miss some funny part?” you whisper at her ear, and she shivers. “Hum… n-no, MC, why?” “Well, you’re grinning so much… did Zen appear yet?”
  • “No, not yet… you can sleep a little more if you want, I’ll wake you up, okay?” you just nod, close your eyes again and go back to her shoulder.
  • Yes, she is grinning again, but it has nothing to do with the movie.


Jumin

  • He wakes up at his couch feeling something on his lap, it seems a little heavier than Elizabeth the 3rd
  • Oh… oh… it’s your head, you are… resting your head at his lap, this is… weird? And… so… intimate? And… good?
  • At least you don’t have your face turned to his body and… oh, you roll over, he can feel your breathing through his shirt.
  • He invited you over to show you some ideas he had for a new cat project. People could judge him and he didn’t care, but your opinion on his cat projects is always fundamental.
  • You gave him great suggestions as usual, and you two could spend the whole night discussing it, but you  felt tired at some point and fell asleep on his shoulder.
  • He should have offered you a bedroom, but he was pretty tired himself… and you’re so warm and… look so comfortable.
  • He’s not sure about what moment of the night you fell on his lap, but… does it really matter? It’s so… amusing…
  • He feels so tempted to caress your hair, it looks so silky… and your peaceful sleepy face is so… mesmerizing, he could watch you sleep like this every night.
  • He would prefer doing this in bed, when he can look straight at you, laying beside you… easy there, Jumin…
  • It’s so weird knowing you trust him that much to let yourself be so vulnerable near him, usually people feel so intimidated by his presence, but not you… you just think he’s good enough for you to rest…
  • “Jumin, doesn’t your neck hurt?” your sleepy voice is like music to his ears “No, MC. Why do you ask?” “You’ve been keeping your head down, maybe you have a wryneck?”
  • “Don’t worry about me, MC. What about you? Aren’t you uncomfortable?” you  look around, grab a pillow and put on his lap. “I’m okay… sweet dreams, Jumin.” And you get back to sleep.
  • Well, he doesn’t need to sleep or dream, this is sweet enough for him.


Saeyoung

  • He wakes up because this pillow feels a little weird…it’s comfortable, but it’s different…
  • Oh, it’s not a pillow, it’s your chest… he blushes, did he drool a little? Gross… and kind of pervy?
  • He looks at you and sees you’re drooling a little too, ok, now he’s not that embarrassed.
  • Wants to take lots of pictures of you to spam the chatroom, but there’s something about you like this that makes him feel he should be the only one to ever see you so peaceful and vulnerable.
  • His legs hurt, keeping them curled up like this all night because there’s not much space on the backseat of his car it’s a little uncomfortable. Luckily enough, the upper half of his body enjoyed this warm and smooth pillow that is your body.
  • He invited you for a ride in one of his babies, unfortunately, there was a problem with the engine. He called a tow truck, but it was taking too long and you looked so tired… so you two moved to the backseat… maybe he was very tired himself too… who knows if the tow truck showed up after all?
  • He can hear your heartbeat, it’s so liberating and soothing at the same time, now it’s slow since you’re sleeping, but he can’t help thinking if he could ever make it race with his words or… with his touch? What is he thinking? No no no…
  • Most of your body is under him, but he would still like to touch you more, run his fingers through your hair, trace your jaw line… he keeps getting greedy with you…
  • He rarely sleeps this well, well, he rarely sleeps, and being able to relax like this just because you’re this close could only mean one thing, right?
  • “Saeyoung, don’t your legs hurt like this?” your sleepy eyes and messy hair are the cutest thing he’s ever seen, he swears. “Oh… a little, but it’s fine, MC.”
  • “No… here, let’s exchange so you can stretch your legs a little.” Now your legs are curled up and he’s being the pillow.
  • Well, now he can at least caress your hair, but he’s the one with the heart racing like crazy.


You can see Saeran and V here~

soft apologies│a.i

for mine and @calumsbicth‘s valentine blurb night

credit to the original owner of the gif

Requested: yes

Pairing: Ashton x Reader

Warning: smut (oh shit), swearing.

Description: When Ashton forgets about Valentine’s Date he has with Y/N, thoughts and emotions immediately start running through her mind. 

The clinging sound of your heels filled the kitchen as you prepared the last things for the night. Candles, home-made meal, flowers, everything was perfect. You always hated Valentine’s because you never had anyone to celebrate it with. Your last couple of relationships would always end right before the 14th, so it was not even weird that you were looking that much forward to the night. It all seemed like a movie. You had bought new lingerie, made him food like you were some kind of mum - even though you had to call Calum to get him to help you. Nothing could go wrong.

Keep reading

Mary, her boys and Destiel

My thoughts around Mary, what she has seen and her coping with her boys and their angel buddy. 

She’s gone from being a mother of 2 babies in a (happily? generally?) cupid-induced loving marriage, still fighting the supernatural on occasion to happily dead in heaven (which she remembers), to now being a (unneeded) mother to 2 grown men - who live with a supernatural being, in an underground bunker owned by her family’s ‘mythical opposition’ the men of letters and living the hunting life she was desperate to keep them away from. Yeah, tough.

- Resurrection : Dean convinces her of who he is by an emotional retelling of her life and how she met John.  Reminding us that when Mary and John first met they didn’t actually immediately like each other, she 'knocked him flat on his ass’. They did fall intensely in love although their relationship and family was marred by the supernatural and they sometimes fought passionately (she doesn’t know it was a Cupid of course)…. Aside - *ahem “couple who were 'forced to be’ v couple who embody free will” parallels*

Originally posted by castieledits

- Witnessing Dean and Cas being reunited when Cas believes he has died. Cas throwing himself at Dean, shouting then quietly murmuring his name into his neck. She, understandably, has a questioning look in her eyes. Then, um, ANGEL?!

Originally posted by mellofone

- Seeing Cas work tirelessly to find Sam. Seeing Dean completely trusting Cas to do this and also relying on him emotionally (overhearing their #married phone conversation about Dean not wanting to overwhelm her).

- Knowing that Cas lives in the bunker with them, but noting that he doesn’t sleep, emphasising his 'inhuman’ side.

- Seeing how completely Cas falls apart when Sam and Dean are imprisoned as he tries to find them and attempts to hunt alone (v how effective he was at finding just Sam, working with Dean, when she first met him). She blames him for their loss at first. Then upon seeing how completely he is broken, even counting the hours, she tries to support and help him in as much as she can, in her way. Upon realising how he is NOT coping she goes from her first instinct of blaming him for their loss in her role as their mother to actually consoling him.

Originally posted by angvlicmish

Mary is NOT a monster, she’s really struggling, she misses the people she loves and so buries herself in hunting to bury her emotions. Plus her automatic reaction to strong feelings of love, pain and guilt is to get angry… LIKE DEAN (very relevant for Cas’s death scene).

- Cas putting himself in danger to save her from Billie, he then gives an impassioned, muddled speech about how important you/you all is/are to him/everything… but predominantly throughout this is looking at Dean.
Sure he doesn’t want Mary to die, but this speech - this declaration is not really about them all being so important to everything, it can’t be, she’s not been around long enough and she hasn’t done anything to show Cas that she’s of any real importance. 

She wonders if he even really understands it himself, he looks so muddled and broken. Is it because he’s an angel? Do angels feel like humans? She’s confused and worried, she is already not sure of the new world she’s come back to, and now there’s a supernatural being in her and her boy’s life, it’s intense. And now this?!
She turns to Dean and sees the look of pain in his eyes as he realises how broken Cas is and how he has put himself in harms way for them. 

His jaw is clenched, his body language is closed off, guarded. She understands this is far more complex than she first imagined.

Originally posted by mishacolins

- After such an emotive night she heads out to clear her head, she can’t cope with being around them all, it’s too much. The next time she sees them all it is most definitely jarring. Sam and Dean are all business with her, there’s no sign of anything cosmic or anything in their actions to recall that emotional night. Dean partakes in some over the top posturing with the waitress on Cas’s behalf while calling Cas 'devastatingly handsome’ while Cas seems oblivious, or is that actually a scowl on his face? She’s now even more confused. Does Dean not realise or is this something else entirely? Has she misread Cas? She doesn’t know any other angels so it could be that she’s misunderstood. He is a little awkward and supernatural after all…. but the boys want him around and he obviously cares for them so she should just get them all to get on with the hunt.

- Cas is dying and it’s her fault. He wants the Winchesters to leave him as to save themselves. He tells Sam and Dean that his best moments have been with them which makes her wonder just how old he is and what he has seen. He says the things they’ve shared and done have changed him. She knows this is important but not exactly how, it’s deeply emotional though and it reminds her of how little she actually knows of their time together and her boys that this angel, this supernatural being could have been affected so much by them.
She turns and sees Sam, then Dean’s faces and how they both are pained by Cas’s dying words. Somehow though she can see not just sadness in Dean’s eyes but also regret and self loathing. He blames himself. She knows because it’s what she sees in the mirror. She is reminded again how Dean is so like her.

- Cas looking up at them all, calling them all his family, nodding at her to include her which just makes her feel awful for her part in having led to this, his death and all their pain. She doesn’t really deserve this, to be a part of their family.

- Cas then immediately looking down, not catching anyone’s eye as he says 'I love you’. 

Originally posted by jensen-jay

Cas looking up at Sam as he tells him that he loves them all, meaning him, specifically TOO, then finally the long lingering, revealing look at Dean as he can’t avoid him any longer. She knows now, she understands. 

She looks at Dean and sees so much of herself in him. She wonders if he understands too or if his self-loathing prevents his comprehension that he can be loved like this. She’s not known him very long as an adult but she knows this much about him and that saddens her deeply, it also contributes to her own self-loathing in an ironic twist. And if he does understand Cas’s words, does he reciprocate? Her and Dean, they work with actions, not words and she sees his actions now, how he’s holding back. She understands. But it doesn’t matter now anyway, 

Cas is dying and it’s her fault. She could be the cause of the breaking of her little boy’s heart and he doesn’t even know it. But still in the back of her mind, is this not maybe for the best? How can you love something not…human?

- Sam and Dean fighting for Cas, refusing to leave him, emphasising that he is family, seeing the understanding and love in Cas’s eyes as they do so. Dean had even been arguing with and insulting both the KING OF HELL and RAMIEL as he was so worried for Cas. Mary is terrified of Ramiel, another yellow eyed demon and she has seen this. 

Now, as he is dying, Sam’s consoling words while Dean can’t watch, he looks down like he might even be praying. Or perhaps he just can’t watch Cas’s last moments.

Originally posted by godshipsit

Originally posted by foodiestiel

- But he lives, no thanks to Mary.

- “Let’s go home”….


No wonder she can’t stay around them, with the confusion over their supernatural 'friend’ plus now the guilt (she’s still in the old hunter mindset of kill anything inhuman, she doesn’t have 12 years worth of Winchester Gospel storyline to teach her the grey areas like our boys have and they’ve only recently learned it fully re: Benny, Amy).

Originally posted by shixpe

And yes she’s made it a hell of a lot worse by now also betraying Sam with the BMOL, when he was the one who really still trusted her.

So yeah, in her struggle to find herself she’s ‘abandoned’ BOTH Sam and Dean and now she’s narratively: 

1. betrayed Sam through her work with the BMOL.

2. betrayed Dean…. by endangering Cas. 

So I think that speaks volumes.

Now for her redemption arc as she’s already admitted to working with the BMoL and is clearly conflicted about nearly losing Cas, let’s get some more wake up calls :)

anonymous asked:

Your highschool AU gives me life so I was thinking, what if the gang and MC are at their school at night because they're going to do a 'test of courage' but at some point mc and their s/o get separated from the other group and a scared MC reveals that they're afraid of the dark aaand what would the scenario be for all of the chars with mc if that happened ?

omg this is so good i HAVE TO

Yoosung

  • Yoosung and MC alone in the dark? no problem, he’ll be totally cool and-
  • except that it’s a HUGE problem
  • because Yoosung is afraid of the dark too
  • he’s so scared that he cant even enjoy the fact that MC just asked if they could hold his hand
  • “uh, yea, s-sure…”
  • oh no their hand is so warm
  • Yoosung is so laser focused on finding everyone else that every little thing makes him jump
  • but MC is scared, too, so the two are just a yelping mess, holding onto each other in the darkness
  • one leaf rustles and all of a sudden its a scream-fest with these two
  • great, the one time me and MC get close i’m too busy being afraid for my LIFE to enjoy it
  • just my luck
  • classic Yoosung
  • he makes it a goal to get over his fear of the dark so that the next time him and MC are alone in the woods at night together, he’ll be ready

Zen

  • engage hero mode
  • “dont worry, i’ll protect you”
  • MC is clinging so close to him he’s practically carrying them
  • and boy, he is loving every second
  • he loves playing the role of protector and he thinks the way MC squeezes his hand is so adorable, and of course he’s not afraid of the dark i mean what reason does he have to-
  • HOLY SHIT SOMETHING JUST MOVED IN THOSE BUSHES 
  • Zen goes from calm and collected to violently moving his flashlight to point it at a bush
  • of course, MC freaks out even more
  • “Zen, what is it?!”
  • “i dont know, but whatever it is, i’ll protect you from it”
  • please dont be something scary please dont be something scary please dont be something scary
  • “well…its gone now. we have nothing to fear, sweetheart”
  • ZEN LOWKEY LETS OUT THE BIGGEST SIGH OF RELIEF
  • HE REALLY THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT A BEAR OR SOMETHING
  • which, i mean, he would do for MC in a heartbeat
  • but if it can be helped, he’d rather not

Jaehee

  • Jaehee would try to comfort MC in all the wrong ways
  • she says with a smooth voice, while gently rubbing MC’s shoulders:
  • “a fear of the dark isnt practical”
  • “even if there was something scary, its dark so we cant see it, therefore we cant be bothered by it”
  • “if there was a murderer in this forest they would have killed us by now”
  • “big animals sleep at night for the most part, and they dont like to eat humans”
  • suddenly in the middle of her “comforting” speech, Jaehee hears sobs
  • “MC, whats wrong?”
  • “Jaehee, your’re freaking me out!!”
  • “oh…um…aright..”
  • Jaehee is racking her brain for the right thing to say
  • she decides to take MC’s hand
  • “i guess what i’m trying to say is that everything will be alright”
  • MC pulls Jaehee a little closer and puts their hear of her shoulder
  • “thats all i wanted to hear”

Jumin

  • at first Jumin is kind of like why are you so close to me
  • can we…..personal space, please?
  • and then when MC tells him about their fear of the dark he’s more like
  • ooooooOOOOOOHHHHHHhhhh
  • once Jumin realizes whats happening, he understands that its important to comfort MC
  • he may be socially inept but he’s not a heartless robot, no matter what Seven says
  • he would remind MC to stay close to him
  • he’d probably be the one to suggest they hold hands
  • “do you want my jacket, too?”
  • “dont worry, i’m not going anywhere”
  • walks with one around around MC

707

  • immediately takes advantage of the situation
  • “why are you walking so close to me? what, do you like me or something?”
  • “no, you jerk!!”
  • scaring MC every two seconds
  • he would probably keep doing it until they started crying, then we would panic
  • “hey hey whats wrong? i’m just goofing off!!”
  • “Seven, cant you see that you’re freaking me out?”
  • “oh i’m..i’m sorry…i just wanted to mess around a little…”
  • he would put one arm around MC and pull them in while they walk, unzipping his hoodie so that MC is kinda cradled inside with him
  • “Seven, you’re an asshole, yknow that?”
  • “yea, i know. but at least now we’ve confirmed that i’m the scariest thing out here”
  • until they found the other Seven would walk with MC snuggled into his jacket

THANKS FOR READING!!! MORE HIGH SCHOOL AU COMING SOON ^^

10 Movies that could change your understanding about life

Every movie has the ability to affect its viewer differently. Some films evoke wonder and excitement, while others provoke fear or sorrow, but a commonality among all films is a prevailing message or theme.

Some films can summon such profound questions, that it changes the way you perceive life as you once knew it. The following list contains 10 unique movies that do just that.

10) Donnie Darko

Richard Kelly’s cult-classic Donnie Darko stars Jake Gyllenhaal as a troubled, sleep-walking teen who is insistent in challenging authority and who is often visited by Frank, a monstrous rabbit that urges Donnie to perform dangerous and destructive pranks.

A haunting work of loneliness, alienation and the universal desire for companionship and meaning that’s wrapped in a guise of understated ‘80s nostalgia and head-spinning science fiction mythology, Donnie Darko is a film you shouldn’t miss.

What makes Donnie Darko especially fascinating is its take on multiple realities and universes. The film explores concepts of imploding universes, black holes and alternate timelines. It leaves most scratching their heads and itching for an immediate second viewing. Richard Kelly stated that the film has varying interpretations, which is why the film is still analysed and debated about to this day.

9) The Matrix

A smartly crafted combination of stimulating action and mind-bending philosophy, The Matrix is a film that throws our perceived reality into question. The film’s premise finds Neo (Keanu Reeves), an office-worker by day, computer hacker by night, who is told about the grand illusion. That is, the reality as we know it is false, a simulated and constructed reality in which mankind is unknowingly imprisoned.

The film is an allegory for the concept of a spiritual awakening. Neo is woken up to the fact that he’s been enslaved to the system, the matrix, his entire life. He is re-taught about his unlimited potential as a creator-being, and stands up against the dark forces which impose humanity. Amazing in every sense, The Matrix has a lot to offer, with the potential to change the way you understand the world we live in.

8) Waking Life

Absurd, transporting, and strikingly original, Waking Life poses many life-changing questions, such as ‘What are dreams and what is reality?’ Within the animated film, the line between the dream-state and reality become blurred as the protagonist wanders through various scenarios and interacts with an eclectic cast of characters.

Each character throws science and philosophy into question, and as the main character continues to experience the extended dream, he begins to worry he will not awaken.

Humans and inanimate details are sometimes quite realistic, even recognizable (such as Ethan Hawke) but the computer “painting” can give subjects forms, movements and dimensions that are wildly exaggerated, limber and stylized in cartoon-like fashion. The movie looks like an LSD trip, and is a cult classic that could find a spot in everyone’s top ten list.

7) Cloud Atlas

Colossal in scale, Cloud Atlas follows 6 interwoven story lines that span hundreds of years. The official synopsis describes it as “an exploration of how the actions of individual lives impact one another in the past, present and future, as one soul is shaped from a killer into a hero, and an act of kindness ripples across centuries to inspire a revolution.”

Cloud Atlas’s prevalent theme delves into the theory of reincarnation, which boasts that an eternal aspect of our self, the soul, experiences any number of lives incarnating here on Earth. The film also explores the concept of karma and the karmic cycle, suggesting that our actions in one lifetime may reverberate into the next.

Although the critic consensus is mixed for Cloud Atlas, one must applaud the film for tackling an unconventional theory such as reincarnation as well as a massively ambitious story line.

6) Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring is a Korean film that follows a Buddhist monk and his journey at a monastery that floats on a lake in a pristine forest. The story follows the monk as he passes through the seasons of his life, from childhood to old age.

Each changing season act as beautiful metaphors and lesson that the main character is experiencing. The film is very quiet, but the breathtaking imagery speaks for itself. Although the story has only a handful of characters and everything takes place in a small area, it encompasses a surprisingly large chunk of the human experience, including lust, love, jealousy, murder, suicide and redemption. It has important things to say about the difficulty of teaching and the elusiveness of wisdom.

This film is about learning from one’s mistakes and becoming a better person by seeking wisdom.

5) Samsara

In a number of Eastern faiths, samsara literally means “continuous flow,” referring obliquely to the ongoing cycle of life and death, decay and renewal.

Samsara, the film, turns that idea into a sprawling concept, a continuous flow of images of the natural world and the human tide that dominates it. The film envelops the audience with a barrage of diverse imagery that shifts rapidly from one locale and one theme to the next.

Through watching the continuous imagery, we are given the chance to truly observe our world with utmost presence, something we tend not do in our fast-paced culture. It’s a journey through life and death, and a film which may give you a new perspective on the human experience.

4) Detachment

Detachment is a chronicle of one month in the lives of several high school teachers, administrators and students through the eyes of a substitute teacher named Henry Barthes (Adrien Brody).  Barthes’ method of imparting vital knowledge to his temporary students is interrupted by the arrival of three women in his life — the damaged and naïve prostitute Erica, a fellow teacher and a troubled teen named Meredith.

These women all have profound effects on Barthes’ life, forcing him to both re-discover aspects of his own personality, and to come to terms with both the tragic suicide of his mother and the impending death of his grandfather.

Henry impacts his students’ lives and makes them more focused and attentive, but he alone can only do so much. The film is a character study of one man, and a social commentary on the failing education and social systems.

3) Her

Her follows Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix), a lonely introverted middle-aged man who  hears of the new OS1, the world’s first artificial intelligent operating system. When Theodore meets Samantha (Scarlett Johansson), the charming female voice of his OS1, he soon finds himself drawn to  her romantically. As he becomes closer to Samantha, Theodore must decipher where his desire to be with her is really coming from.

There are many themes in Her that parallel the issues of our current technology-obsessed culture. We’ve become so attached to our phones, laptops and tablets that we’ve begun to lose touch with an essential aspect of life, authentic human interaction. Her reveals how technology is propelling isolation and loneliness to a scary degree, something we all should consider.

2) Fight Club

Fight Club teaches its viewer many things. A big lesson realized from watching the film is the emptiness that exists within consumerism and materialism. It’s also a film which questions our attachment to identity -are we really who we believe ourselves to be? The film shocks its viewer when we discover that the ‘revolution’ which has been building up is a mere satire constructed to teach the main character a massive lesson about the state of humanity.

1) Life Is Beautiful

Life is Beautiful reveals the power of optimism and perception during dark times. The story is simple: A father tries to shelter his son and family from the horrors of WWII. It teaches us how preserving our child-like innocence can protect us from the troubles life may throw at us. A simple concept that is beautifully crafted.

Obviously this list only skims the amount of life-changing films available today. I didn’t even mention documentaries, because there are too many to start listing. What are some movies or documentaries that have impacted your life?

BROKEN PART TWO: http://imaginingbucky.tumblr.com/post/160774269479/broken-part-one

BROKEN PART THREE:

“So, how does that feel?”

You couldn’t help but moan a little at the sensation. Steve’s hands were like magic.

“You’re really tense in your shoulders.” He said as he continued giving you a massage.

“That’s what having three kids does to you.” You joked.

The relationship that you had with Steve was a good one. It all started when you met him for coffee that Monday four months ago. He had been sweet and humorous the entire time. Sparks flew and now you found yourself with him romantically.

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The Secret (12)

prologue; part one; part two; part three; part four; part five; part six; part seven; part eight; part nine; part ten; part eleven; part twelve; part thirteen;

Baekhyun had gathered all of his members in the living room first thing in the morning before anyone left for schedules. They had probably all read the article by now but none of them mentioned it as he knocked on each of their doors and asked them into the main room. He hadn’t exactly planned what to say. Maybe he should have. Maybe he wouldn’t feel so nervous if he had figured out how he wanted to explain this new part of his life to his brothers.

Still here he was, with eight faces staring up at him in anticipation, about to tell them about the new people in his life that he would happily take a bullet for.

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(this is my first masterpost sorry if it’s bad) A bullet journal has a lot of uses. A planner, homework reminders, to-do lists- but understandably, some pages could use a little of inspiration. And what better inspiration than from artists? Even without a bullet journal, quotes can be a great thing to decorate journals, your room, etcetera. So, I’ve compiled a list of quotes (some aren’t very motivational) by some of your favorite artists!

VINCENT VAN GOGH

“I dream of painting and then I paint my dream.”

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”

“I wish they would only take me as I am.”

“In spite of everything I shall rise again; I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing.”

“I see drawings and pictures in the poorest of huts and the dirtiest of corners.”

“One must work and dare if one really wants to live.”

“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.“

“I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.”

“Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. Then life seems almost enchanted after all.“

“If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere.”

“I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.”

PABLO PICASSO

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.“

“Art is a lie that makes us realize truth.”

“Everything you can imagine is real.“

“Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.”

“Action is the foundational key to all success.“

"It takes a long time to become young.”

“Youth has no age.”

“Art is the elimination of the unnecessary.”

“Sculpture is the art of the intelligence.”

“Are we to paint what’s on the face, what’s inside the face, or what’s behind it?”

“Give me a museum and I’ll fill it.”

“To copy others is necessary, but to copy oneself is pathetic.”

SALVADOR DALI

“Have no fear of perfection - you’ll never reach it.“

"Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating. It is either good or bad.”

“Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.”

“Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.”

“There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.”

“What is important is to spread confusion, not eliminate it.”

“I am not strange. I am just not normal.”

“It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself.”

“Everything alters me, but nothing changes me.”

“So little of what could happen does happen.”

“Give me two hours a day of activity, and I’ll take the other twenty-two in dreams.”

“The secret of my influence has always been that it remained secret.”

JACKSON POLLOCK

“The painting has a life of its own. I try to let it come through.”

“Painting is self-discovery. Every good artist paints what he is.”

“My painting does not come from the easel.”

“When I am in my painting, I’m not aware of what I’m doing.”

“Love is friendship set to music.”

“The painter locks himself out of his own studio. And then has to break in like a thief.”

“The modern artist is working with space and time, and expressing his feelings rather than illustrating.”

“Energy and motion made visible- memories arrested in space.”

“Abstract painting is abstract. It confronts you. There was a reviewer a while back who wrote my pictures didn’t have any beginning or any end. He didn’t mean it as a compliment, but it was.”

“I’m very representational some of the time, and a little all of the time. But when you’re painting out of your unconscious, figures are bound to emerge.”

“Abstract art should be enjoyed just as music is enjoyed- ater awhile you may like it or you may not.”

“Each age finds its own technique… I mean, the strangeness will wear off and I think we will discover the deeper meanings in modern art.“

CLAUDE MONET

“I must have flowers always and always.”

“Color is my daylong obsession, joy and torment.“

“Everyone discusses my art and pretends to understand, as if it were necessary to understand, when it is simply necessary to love.”

“My garden is my most beautiful masterpiece.“

“I would like to paint the way a bird sings.”

“The more I live, the more I regret how little I know.“

“I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.”

“I can only draw what I see.“

“What keeps my heart awake is colorful silence.”

“The richness I achieve comes from nature, the source of my inspiration.“

“I don’t think I’m made for any earthly kind of pleasure.”

“The light constantly changes, and that alters the atmosphere and beauty of things every minute.“

GEORGIA O’KEEFFE

“Nobody sees a flower- really- it is so small it takes time- we haven’t time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.”

“If you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it’s your world for a moment.”

“I wish people were all trees and I think I could enjoy them then.”

“To create one’s world in any of the arts takes courage.”

“I decided to accept as true my own thinking.”

“You are one of my nicest thoughts.”

“It’s not enough to be nice in life. You’ve got to have nerve.”

“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way… things I had no words for.”

“I think it’s so foolish for people to want to be happy. Happy is so momentary–you’re happy for an instant and then you start thinking again. Interest is the most important thing in life; happiness is temporary, but interest is continuous.”

“Where I was born and where and how I have lived is unimportant. It is what I have done with where I have been that should be of interest.”

“I can’t live where I want to, I can’t go where I want to go, I can’t do what I want to, I can’t even say what I want to. I decided I was a very stupid fool not to at least paint as I wanted to.”

“I’m frightened all the time. But I never let it stop me. Never!”

LEONARDO DA VINCI

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

“As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.”

“Art is never finished, only abandoned.”

“Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination when awake?”

“Tears come from the heart and not from the brain.”

“Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.”

“The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.”

“Learning never exhausts the mind.”

“While I thought I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.”

“Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.”

“I love those who can smile in trouble…”

“It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.”

FRIDA KAHLO

“I don’t paint dreams or nightmares, I paint my own reality.”

“I paint flowers so they will not die.”

“I paint myself because I am so often alone and because the subject I know best.”

“I think that little by little I’ll be able to solve my problems and survive.”

“Nothing is absolute.”

“Everything changes, everything moves, everything revolves, everything flies and goes away.”

“My painting carries with it the message of pain.”

“There is nothing more precious than laughter.”

“Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly?”

“I paint flowers so they will not die.”

“The only thing I know is that I paint because I need to, and I paint whatever passes through my head without any other consideration.”

“I am my own muse, I am the subject I know best. The subject I want to know better.”

HENRI MATISSE

“There are always flowers for those who want to see them.”

“I don’t paint things. I only paint the difference between things.”

“Don’t wait for inspiration. It comes while one is working.”

“Creativity takes courage.”

“An artist must not feel under any constraint.”

“We ought to view ourselves with the same curiosity and openness with which we study a tree, the sky or a thought, because we too are linked to the entire universe.”

“A certain blue enters your soul. A certain red has an effect on your blood-pressure.”

“Art should be something like a good armchair in which to rest from physical fatigue.”

“To look at something as though we had never seen it before requires great courage.”

“Impressionism is the newspaper of the soul.”

“In love, the one who runs away is the winner.”

“Cutting into color reminds me of the sculptor’s direct carving.”

MICHELANGELO

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”

“If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all.”

“Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.”

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

“Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”

“Genius is eternal patience.”

“The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection.”

“A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.”

“Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.”

“Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”

“There is no greater harm than that of time wasted.”

“I am still learning.”

Two Rooms

Title: Two Rooms – Warmth Series Part Four

Characters/Pairing: Dean x Female!Reader, Sam (mentioned)

Word Count: 2030

Warnings: Some kissing, implied future smut.

Summary: It’s the final part in the series, I don’t want to spoil anything!

Author’s Note: Wow, the final part! I can’t thank you guys enough for all the sweet things you’ve said about this series, I had a great time writing it, and I hope the final part is everything you were hoping it would be! And I’m sorry if the ending feels a little rushed, I was pressed for time this weekend. Enjoy, guys :)

Read the Previous Parts: Two Beds | Two Shirts | Two Keys

If you would like to read any of my other fics please check out my Masterlist!

*Gif is not mine, all gifs used on my blog are from Google Images.*

     After eating another pathetic excuse for dinner with the boys and deciding where you were headed next - deeming it a pointless trip to have come so far and only do one hunt in the area - you gathered your things, the second motel key off the table, and limped out of the room to go find your own. Which was, as it turns out, even smaller and more frigid than the last one.

     The cold air hit you like a brick as you stumbled out of the motel room, using the wall for support and dragging your duffle bag behind you through the freshly fallen snow. Dean had, of course, tried to help you with your bag and get you safely to your new room, but you’d turned down his offer and opted to do it yourself, your newly stitched leg screaming in protest with every clumsy step. When you got to your lonely little room you collapsed on the bed with a groan.

     Ever since you had started hunting with the boys you’d always gotten your own room, every time without fail, and it never fazed you in the least. You enjoyed the quiet, gratefully took the seldom found privacy, and couldn’t imagine a worse fate than having to share an already cramped and more often than not dirty motel bathroom with two men. You were happy with the arrangement – or, as happy as a hunter could be when bouncing around from one dive to the next. But now? You just felt lonely.

     The room was too quiet. You found, to your surprise, that you didn’t mind giving up some of that privacy if you were giving it in favor of being near Dean. Even sharing the amenities was something easily avoidable if you managed to wake up before the Winchesters. You liked sharing a room with them – you liked sharing a room with Dean.

     And you missed him.

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anonymous asked:

leela that liveshow was. a lot. so cute. Dan talking about love made me 👀

it was definitely a lot oh my god. one of my favorites in a long time and a real treasure trove of open stories, asides, opinions, and general insights into his mind, his opinions on work, his life, and of course, yes, his thoughts on love. i almost wondered if he was a little bit tipsy from the sushi dinner he mentioned going on since he’s always sort of told us that he’s pretty sensitive to wine (he was tipsy while editing that sims video when he left the flipside christmas party in december and he’d only had one glass of wine?) because honestly there was so much rambling and vulnerability in this that i wasn’t prepared for. uhhh, brace yourselves bc this is like,, the longest shit i’ve written about them in ages. i can always count on a dan live show to bring out my inner desires to write an actual novel haha

INSIGHTS ABOUT HIMSELF

the meditation bit. that was so lovely on so many levels. to know that he’s tried meditating is one thing. to watch him try to walk us through some of the fundamental tenets of a meditative mindset was another. it was so fascinating to me to hear him confirm the way in which he feels plagued by the onslaught of noise in his life, and crucially, for him, that’s all online noise—he kept talking about imaginary conversations, how all of our communication is text on the internet, and that he ingests so many of those voices constantly and always feels their presence. even though that is a generalizable thing that all of us suffer from, to an extent, in a world where we’re so digitally connected, it’s staggering to think about the scale on which he has to deal with all of the white noise and that all of it is both distressing to him and also inescapable in that it’s the foundation of his career. i just see dan as being someone who is so internally conflicted about so many things and that includes, most centrally, the role of the internet and his presence on it, and it doesn’t take much reaching to understand why he must love and hate it in equal measure.

the hydration campaign. y’all i’ve been trying to track every stay hydrated mention since the one in pinof 8 when they literally made like a psa, with no explanation or context, about the importance of water and staying hydrated and just stuck it in the middle of that vid. i’ve lost track though bc they’ve worked it into nearly every video they’ve made since then and i WANT TO KNOW WHAT ITS ABOUT. i am adamant that it’s an inside joke of some sort. i don’t think they actually give a fuck how much water we drink lol. so today when dan was like “i need to find a way to work that into the next video .. .might already be in it,” and then at the end when he said he needs to leave to go “get hydrated,” i was living bc it was the most open confirmation yet that this is something they’re so intentionally doing and working into their vids. idk if it’s just a funny thing but … my instinct is that it has some sort of deeper meaning that only they know and i’m ANNOYED THEYRE ALLOWED TO RUB THESE JOKES RIGHT IN OUR FACES UGH. jk they can carry on w their married behavior but. i want it all to lead to some sort of announcement that they’re starting a joint bottled water business at the very least. or maybe its just a euphemism for sex. who knows. ugh

dan acknowledging his pretentiousness about music is all i’ve ever wanted. it’s so funny to me how just his self-awareness that he is very pretentious and particular about his tastes is all i needed to forgive him for all of it because what pissed me off more than anything ever about dan’s approach to talking about music were his flimsy attempts at trying to act like he was so accepting and tolerant of all people’s music tastes and that he’s some sort of diplomatic saint who respects and celebrates everyone’s preferences bc … literally no he fucking doesn’t he has never even tried to make it convincing hahah. so him just outright apologizing for it today in his usual self-deprecating fashion was like the funniest, best thing to me bc god at least he knows and realizes and like maybe now he can actually work on talking about music in the deeper and complex ways that he so clearly wants to. also as a music snob in my own right i feel him on this and i’ve always just found it way easier to preface every conversation w the clear statement that these r just my own standards and i’m a douche and i’m never actually trying to disrespect anyone who might like different things than me. anyway, i love dan

INSIGHTS ABOUT WORK & LIFE

i suspected and even posted about the fact that unexpected things might have happened this week that caused phil to be delayed in posting his video and dan to be all but silent on twitter for several days. i speculated dan may not have been in a good place this week based on his silence and also the way he seemed to teeter on the brink of quite overt negativity during last week’s live show. to me, today’s live show seemed fully in the throes of that negative headspace. there was a resurgence of bleak little comments about how he’s tired (of living), how he looks like a rat and doesn’t want to be reminded about the reality of his existence, how his life is a joke, how he can’t comprehend that anyone could draw inspiration from his videos or that his stories could brighten people’s days, etc. etc. all said as casual asides and mostly followed by little laughs as is his norm, but it was very reminiscent to me of the time in early january around his 2016 memes video and his first couple live shows of the year where he talked so frequently about craving death and feeling anxious and judging his own work output too harshly, and the constant pressure of scrutiny from his audience. i don’t think this live show was as bad as all of that but it’s clear that things might be a bit difficult right now and dan confirmed that himself when he stated that it’s been a challenging week in ways he can’t talk about with us yet. i was so interested to hear him say we could ask him about it in like five months though. literally,,, i put it in my calendar for august because i’m just so curious. we have almost no hints to go off of in terms of speculating about what it could be, but to me the fact that we would be able to ask him five months from now seems to suggest that it’s not personal (i jokingly wrote in tags that he and phil had gotten in a tiff this week lol) bc if it was he wouldn’t mention it at all i don’t think and definitely at the very least wouldn’t have given us such a specific timeframe about when we could ask about it. it’s likely work-related bc of that timeframe: a new project of some sort that will be out later this year, for which perhaps several planning meetings or deadlines had to happen/be met this week? it’s hard to say why that would put dan in such a negative headspace but he’s said before that he gets that way when he’s sleep deprived and he did just seem very very tired beneath everything. … also possible it could be about moving? maybe house hunting was very stressful and didn’t go to plan. late summer (five months from now) would be a fitting time for them to have made their move, and really it’s the only other possible thing i can think of with a timeframe that dan would specifically tell us. in any case,,, mark your cals for august y’all bc i actually can’t wait to hear more insights about this week even if we have to wait months for them.

that being said, the new dinof video is coming tmrw or the day after and he was still pretty vague about what it will be about. as i spelled out in completely unnecessary detail after last week’s live show i believe he was going to make the video about dropping the dinof user name but then changed his mind (this is the video he referenced today when he said “i was going to make a video but then decided it should be the next one” before going on like a 3-min rant about how sometimes he just feels the timing isn’t right to post a particular video.) so that leaves the field wide open for what this next vid could be. the only other hint we got was that it could be kink-related because the premium he opened that said “kinkshame me daddy” prompted him to say “well you’ll like my next vid,” but then he quickly walked it back as though to dispel anyone’s expectations that it would be kink-related? it was all a bit confusing. on that subject he did note down the idea of doing a video about going to the dentist back in a february live show, so there’s a high possibility to me that it could be about that since it’s like sort of (maybe jokingly) a kink for him, but he wouldn’t want to tease something that’s mostly NOT about kinks by saying it’s kink-related, hence his rapid back-tracking. but like. tbh who knows … dan is confusing and could pull something totally out of left field behind all of this quibbling. i mostly ardently agree with the way he told us to feel about it, which is to have literally no expectations or theories about what it could be hahah … best advice he’s ever given tbh

confirmation that he and phil will attend playlist this year, and a sort of allusion to the traditional lester clan april holiday in florida. probably means that he will join them again this year. it was kind of nice to hear him basically walk us through how all of their decisions about conventions and travel are made jointly, even months and months into the future, and to have no qualms with sharing that. he also just kept reiterating vaguely that they might have plans at various points of the year and idk about y’all but i feel like he’s trying his hardest to let us know that those plans involve each other and probs always will. could be work things (the same project that may have caused them stress this week), could, as he said in his own words back in january, be “life things.” could be both. but regardless, the plans are always danandphil things, both of them together, and i’m not sure how there is still a strain of people that insists on arguing that a moving apart or separation is on the horizon for this year. all of that is summed up in this one amazing exchange for me, when someone in the chat asks, “are you excited for australia again?” and he answers, “yeah, we are.”

i also really dug the insight about how he likes to structure his work in such a way that he’s working for three weeks straight with no days off and then takes a whole week to lose himself in a game. it’s very dan to be so all or nothing about the way that he works and to become consumed so completely by whatever’s at hand (whether it’s work or leisure) and although i might’ve suspected that that’s how he operates i don’t think we’ve ever heard him lay it out that clearly

INSIGHTS ABOUT PHIL & LOVE

that he opened this live stream with such an earnest celebration of phil (thanking him, literally, for existing and making videos even though it was technically a misspeak) was so lovely and not what i expected but it set a nice tone for the start of this stream. the bants-y way in which he acknowledge the subscriber gap was also a tiny bit noteworthy to me, especially in light of that ask i answered recently about how they must approach the subscriber gap. i argued it def isn’t something they are sensitive about and probs isn’t something they joke about either, but dan sort of showed that he might approach it w humor if the situation calls for it rather than ignore it altogether. interesting. he’s clearly so proud of phil and was a little flustered in talking about how exciting the milestone was. and then, relatedly, so so animated and excited about “promo-ing (awkward pause and sidelong glance) his pal” and the gym video. i fucking loved hearing his version of the story and how surprisingly soft and tender he sounded when he was describing phil on the phone asking for an exercise plan (like, his tone was verging on adoring there) and then the way he looked when he got back. the way that dan says “what happened?” when he’s recounting how he talked to phil after he got home literally set my heart aflutter bc it was sooooooooo concerned-sounding even in a re-enactment, even in front of thousands of people, so i can’t even imagine how worried he must have genuinely been in that moment. the thing w videos is that they allow these real-life stories that happen to dnp to take on a sort of surreal almost fictional feel bc of the storytelling dnp employ—videos have like a real narrative arc and they’re packaged to be entertaining so in some ways it’s easy to forget that this is actually a true thing that happened. phil lester went to the gym and threw up twice from over-exertion and came home in half the time he was supposed to be gone and dan, the worried partner, was there to receive him when he did. and then, of course, to get super angry on his behalf and tell us about it later. i was literally rejoicing to hear dan be so honest about his emotional reaction to this happening to phil bc it might be something he would have usually phrased another way (‘can u believe phil asked for this one thing and got this other thing instead what is wrong with people this is why we don’t go outside’) instead of literally just stating his emotion so bluntly (‘i was actually like really mad … like honestly i was so angry when he told me.’) that difference in communicating how he feels is so hugely important to me and it’s what gave the story so much dimension,, i could literally picture dan and his instinct towards protectiveness that we’ve seen time and time and time again when it comes to phil, just full of irritation, disbelief, and actual anger in that moment and he had no problem with telling us that was what happened. i nearly thought that when he said he couldn’t go to that gym bc he didn’t want to see kyle/leon, that he was saying any real-life encounter with him would end in dan giving kyle/leon an angry speech about his lack of professionalism and total ineptitude at his job. i totally believe that it would.

the other part of dan’s reaction that i feel is worth noting is the way that he immediately said to phil that he needs to learn to be more assertive in a knowing tone as though it’s something they discuss often and, to be honest, it IS something that has come up before over and over in the way that dan portrays phil. that he’s too “polite” to call people out if they’re abusing him online, that he believes in things like etiquette and courtesy, that his personality is adorable and, in not so many words, soft. we even have seen him describe it in certain specific real life scenarios. an example that comes to mind is when they were doing the joint live show in november last year and dan wanted to talk about the sound guy who fucked up his mic at dapgoose LA, subsequently causing him to loose his voice for the boncas. dan clearly wanted to go off about how incapable the sound guy had been but asks phil for permission basically, and phil tempers dan’s response a lot and recounts the situation diplomatically. a random example that also comes to mind from ages ago is in dan’s what not to do at the cinema video from 2012 where he talks about a scenario when he and phil go out to see a movie and he, dan, is assertive enough to both 1. ask for people to completely get up and move if they’re sitting in his and phil’s seats, and, 2. shush them if they’re being too loud. he even acts out phil saying “oh my god you did not just do that, i don’t know you,” and trying to hide. i feel like this is a difference between them that’s sometimes under-discussed  or noticed because the main focus is always on their anxieties and insecurities and general distaste for human interaction. people also focus on phil making small talk with people in social settings and take that to mean that he is more confident and calm. but i earnestly believe that he is more reserved than dan in many ways and that includes in facing negative or stressful situations and dan, despite his own set of anxieties, has always been much more able and willing to demand and ask for what he feels he (or phil) deserves.

obvi the thing everyone wants to talk about (and i’m right there with y’all) is dan’s truly surprising decision to entertain a question about love and then give a definition of it. after a bit of waffling and dithering about whether it is or isn’t a social construct he seems to insist that it is a real feeling and defines it as “the fear of that person not being there mixed with sexual attraction.” super interesting to me because he seems to totally approach this question from his own perspective and experience which is why in the moment he seems to suggest that you need to experience sexual attraction in order to love people (and where does that leave people on the ace spectrum?) and, moreover, that love is definitely a feeling people feel (and where does that leave aromantic people?) he definitely interprets the question to be about romantic love rather than talking about something perhaps “safer” for his usual topics such as platonic love or familial love and it’s for that reason that i definitely think he was trying to say that this is what love means to him and in his own experience because i don’t think he would be so cavalier about conflating romantic and sexual attraction and implying that asexuality and romantic attraction cannot coexist in one person if he had had time to think about this answer rather than spontaneously deciding to answer it on the spot.

but that he’s speaking from his own experience obviously makes his answer profoundly interesting because he settles on, coincidentally or perhaps not, one of the only ways of expressing affection for phil by proxy that he’s ever been okay with sharing with us, which is that he needs phil around bc he can’t bear to be alone. this combined with the protectiveness/defensiveness he exhibits for phil pretty consistently, as well as the occasional recognition of phil’s creativity, are pretty much the full spectrum of ways in which dan ever talks about what he feels for phil in a public setting. it was so strangely emotional for me to hear him confirm that his fear of being alone and being without this hypothetical “love” is so fundamental to the experience of love for him that it becomes a big part of the way he defines it. i mean people make fun of dan’s neediness all the time in so many ways but he straight out confirms here that the feeling of needing your partner near you at all times and staving off the genuinely frightening prospect of the anxiety of being alone are so central to what he takes the experience of love to mean. and that’s true for both of them i feel because as “needy” as dan is, phil is just as attached, chooses to spend all of these moments with dan, chooses to call dan up on stage when he wins solo awards, chooses to travel and socialize and create and live with dan next to him always. the concerning degrees of codependency they exhibit are such common topics of conversation amongst us as outside observers that it’s very nearly startling to hear dan basically say that, yes, this dependency on this other person, this feeling of paralysis when they’re not there, that’s what love is to him, fundamentally. it’s the awareness that your life would be empty without them around. that is … concerning honestly, and as always i have some burning questions about how they make such an unhealthy level of codependency work but like. they do. they so clearly do. they have for so long and they show signs every day of only growing stronger and happier in their partnership, if that’s even possible.

then there’s the sexual attraction bit which like, sure. obvi.

i also thought it was immensely noteworthy that when he read out “some people never find love” from one of the chat comments he didn’t even try a little bit to make it relatable and crack some joke about being forever alone or even just a cheeky little “same.” like just, generally speaking, he approached this whole topic very much with the tone of 1. someone who has definitely experienced the emotion of love, 2. someone who is then trying to articulate the emotion of love as he experiences it, and 3. someone who still feels that emotion and is in proximity to that person to whom it is directed. there were no attempts at trying to say he can’t relate or that he doesn’t know (or to apply it to FOOD which he has said on countless occasions is the number one love of his life,) and if anything he got quite flustered and even red around his ears and cheeks by the end of the whole ramble. flustered but not actually uncomfortable, at least in my assessment. it was really so, so lovely and incredibly insightful. not a topic i ever ever thought i’d hear him venture into and certainly not in a live stream and certainly not in that much depth. to me the whole topic played out almost as though he couldn’t let some overly analytical smartass in the chat reduce this emotion that clearly means so much to him into a mere social construct or even a release of hormones (oxytocin). he needed to push back and play devil’s advocate, but instead of doing that in a contemplative philosophical way he somewhat accidentally got super personal with it and this ramble and completely rare look into dan’s experience w this particularly touchy emotion is what we got. it reminds me a lot of the vyou he answered back in 2012 about whether he believes in love, in which he is quite literally upset and completely rude to the person who asked it, saying “no offense to you but what kind of a stupid question is that?” as though he has never even entertained the possibility that people could not believe that love is a true feeling and emotion. it’s incredible to see that 6 years later dan has evolved in so many ways and is calmer and more thoughtful about so many things, but on this subject little has changed: love is so important to him and there’s no way for him to talk about it without immediately demonstrating that :( :( :(

“hydrate, meditate, contemplate, get a mate.” such a fitting closing line because is there any set of four directives that better encompass who dan is lol? overall such a good live show with so many moments of vulnerability and emotional openness. however dan really is in this moment i hope things only get better and better for him and that he can get over whatever hurdles have been holding him back from dinof and that he can edit/post this video and then let himself take that week off that he mentioned wanting, in order to play games and chill or at least get to a calmer place. love him lots :(((

(live show: meditation and hydration with your new life coach - 2017.03.14)