Warning: Kurt Weller feels incoming.
@kate-dammit-run and I were talking about THIS BOY and his walls and how Jane got inside them without even really meaning to.
And I got to thinking about how it’s both the best and worst thing she’d ever done for him.
Our boy put those walls up to protect himself but also so that he could protect others. He’s a hero, always wanting and needing to save the day, not for any kind of glory but because he always puts others first. And we got a glimpse in season one of how much of a toll that had taken on him when he told Sarah “it takes everything” (😭😭😭) . He always put others first - his job, Sarah, Sawyer and, when she arrives, Jane.
Except then something happens and someone starts protecting him. Putting him first. Pushing him to make a good life for himself, risking her own life so he can have it.
But he realizes that he wants that life to be with her. And when he finally lets his last wall down, asking her to stay with him, telling her that he loves her, not only does the world not end but she says it back.
And so…he’s all in. They’ve wasted enough time. He wants to give her everything and for them to have everything together.
That’s what makes it so painful when she leaves. He knows it’s to protect him and his daughter so he’s not angry with her. He’s angry with himself for not being able to protect her, to protect their life that they fought so hard for.
It’s why he never gives up on her, never stops searching for her until he finally finds her. And why they will fight for their life together.
Because she’s inside his walls and whatever they face, they face it together.