he thinks he is so clever

anonymous asked:

Kirk x reader sexting headcanon?


  • You aren’t even dating when Jim sends the first message. It could be taken one of two ways. After answering it straight, you responded with the more flirtatious answer, and opened a kettle of fish that you weren’t quite prepared for.
  • He’s just as flirtatious over messaging as he can be in person. Maybe even more so. But also, adorably silly, saying he thinks the quick way you type is beautiful, and the way your accuracy is spot on is alluring in low light.
  • You respond by telling him his backside is alluring in low light. Then it’s game on.
  • Jim thinks he’s being so clever, sending naughty little comments to your PADD. At first they are more innocent and suggestive, but then they get more suggestive and less innocent.
  • You were mildly amused by the saucy messages, and decided to up the ante by sending a photo of your cleavage.
  • There was an abrupt stop to his messages for about 20 minutes. The next message you received was just an ellipses.     …     
  • You went for lunch, not thinking about what might come next. You figured your boobs had ended things.
  • You were wrong. He sent an epic worthy of comparison to the Song of Solomon. But filthier.
  • You nearly choked on your lunch, and frantically slammed your PADD face down when McCoy came to cough-assist you.
  • After that, you decided two could play at that game, and for every explicit message he sent, you sent one in return.
  • At the end of your shift, you looked up and saw Jim waiting at the doors of the MedBay. “Just walking Y/N back to her quarters, Bones,” he commented when Doctor McCoy asked why he was there.
  • Your door had barely shut when he had you up against the wall, tearing your uniform off. 


this is really random but i’m thinkin about jughead’s music taste and i definitely think he’s someone who’s super focused on lyrics instead of a song as a whole? like even if the vocals or music itself is meh at best he could adore a song if the lyrics are good.
and while he really loves angsty, sad shit he also loves more high energy tongue in cheek stuff like los campesinos! and say anything

There was a request for a solo larger version of this so… here you go.


problematic fave yet again

Okay y’all nothing is going to convince me that the Falcs don’t call Marty “McFly” all the fucking time. 

(This is based on my friend Martha, who goes by Marty, but a bunch of us call her McFly. usually Jacob.)

  • Marty takes it all in stride, having long ago learned that it was a nickname he would Never Escape
  • and the Falcs think they’re so clever like “hah get it McFly get it we called him McFly ha get it”
  • (because these guys are Actual Middle Schoolers)
  • They all, of course, assume Jack doesn’t get it. 
  • Because as we all know, Jack is the Rock Lord, all hail Rock lord. 
  • And Jack never gives any indication that he understands. He just kind of rolls with it. 
  • Until one day…
  • it’s like a Secret Santa type thing that they film (and edit heavily because these guys are, again, Actual Middle Schoolers) and put up on the website
  • and Jack reveals that he got Marty, and hands him this big-ass box and Marty raises an eyebrow and opens and
  • it’s a hoverboard.
  • it’s
  • a
  • fucking
  • hoverboard
  • there’s like this five-second pause before the entire team goes insane and applauds Jack and Jack has this smug-ass smirk and No One Can Handle It
  • And then one of the guys asks Jack if he googled it
  • and without missing a fucking beat
  • “I watched that movie every Saturday for a year when I was nine.”
  • (the SMH team goes fucking INSANE when they see the video because Jack looks straight into the camera like he’s on The Office when he says it)
  • (another reference he gets. thank you, Holster.)
  • (Georgia is absolutely delighted that she got this on film and it becomes on of the most viewed videos on the site)
Riverdale Sorting

If you disagree you can fight me.

  • Archie is a Hufflepuff. He’s just trying to quietly live his life and do what he likes. Poor kiddo. Let him relax.
  • Betty is a Slytherin. She works behind the scenes, works hard to be perfect, and she’s clever. I like to think she comes from a long line of Slytherin women.
  • Veronica is a Gryffindor. She’s honest, brave, kind and a good leader. She is very chivalrous to Betty. 
  • Jughead is a Ravenclaw. He is very smart but chooses to use his intelligence for what suits him. He’s seen as a little bit of an outcast. 
  • Kevin is a Hufflepuff. He just likes to watch everyone else’s drama and laugh.
  • Cheryl is a Gryffindor. She can’t shut up. She is being so brave through everything she’s gone through. She is very prideful.
  • Josie is a Slytherin. She is ambitious and hardworking.
  • Ms. Grundy is a squib and I hate her.
Mycroft Holmes: All he has is being clever - a character analysis

Those are my thoughts on Mycroft Holmes after season 4. It’s long, but i was thinking about him a lot! As always, @mycrofts-kitchen told me to turn this into a post.

  • All he has is being clever.
  • He’s playing a role: The Ice Man. He pretends there is no heart inside him to cover up that his heart is actually huge and soft. He ignores it, he pushes it back so no one can break it. He saw in his early childhood what caring can do to people, what caring too much did to Sherlock: “Caring is not an advantage.” The only thing he can’t push back is his love for Sherlock: “Your loss would break my heart.” Sherlock’s his pressure point, because he already loved him before he decided to become The Ice Man. Look at his smile when he sees the video of Sherlock hugging him… I’m sure no one hugged him except his little brother. You can read so much from his smile. It’s deeply melancholic.
  • He’s an introvert that needs some love. He said Sherlock was the emotional child, so he has always been an introvert. Not showing that he needs love or human contact. But he did and he still does. It just seems like he accepted for himself that there is no one who can give him love. When he talked about his heart that’s “not much of a target”… that’s just how anyone sees him. That’s what he wants others to believe.
  • He’s lonely. “I’m not lonely” - of course you’d never admit it, Mycroft. It would destroy your role. He’s so intelligent, everyone else seems like goldfish. But he uses it as an excuse for others, to look like he needs no one. But he does… How he knows the lines for this silly movie, that projector - he’s such a melancholic little idiot.
  • He never was number one. And he knows. Not the favourite child. Not the most intelligent child. Even his sister always preferred Sherlock.
  • He never found his place, he was always lost. He hasn’t seen himself as one of the Holmes kids. He was 7 years older and when talking about redbeard… “We never found him” “we made our assumptions” - as if he belonged with his parents and not with his brother and sister. As if he wouldn’t be one of the kids; Always the grown up. But his parents haven’t seen him like this, this wasn’t his place, as well. He never felt like he belongs somewhere. Because no one ever showed him that he can be loved or be someone’s favourite.
  • He always felt responsible because of his intelligence and understanding of things. It was him who took care of Eurus after Uncle Rudy. It’s him that takes care of Sherlock. He became the British government. He feels like it’s his task to shoulder the weight of all of this. At some point he just took this role. The responsible. The adult. The parent. And that’s how he still sees himself. When looking at Sherlock after he shot Magnussen - he saw a little boy.
  • He feels like he deserves getting shot. Because he fucked up. His parents told him he fucked up. Maybe that’s what they do all the time. Because they believe he is The Ice Men and doesn’t care. And he just takes it. He’s Mycroft Holmes and it’s so hard for him to admit he has made mistakes. But he just takes it because he really thinks it’s all his fault. Maybe that’s what he was always taught to think. Parents mostly blame the older ones because they think they should know better.
  • He’s weak. When Sherlock said “He’s not as strong as he thinks he is” - he was so right. And sadly Mycroft is not as strong as he wants to be. Because he is a sensitive idiot who smiles when his idiot brother tells him he was good as lady bracknell. He’s so weak in so many ways. Physically, of course. He always was. As a child he was chubby, maybe his parents told him to lose weight - that’s why he’s so worried about it, even if there’s no reason. Now he’s so skinny - and still weak. Remember when Sherlock pushed him against the wall and Mycroft was all in pain? He’s emotionally weak. He never learned to be good with people. He understands them, of course, in an intellectual way, that’s part of his job. But he doesn’t understand them in a way of own feelings.
  • All he has is being clever! That’s what I thought so many times in TFP. That’s why he always mentions he’s the smart one. The only thing he has is being clever! The only thing he can claim for himself, he can be proud of, he can identify with.
  • He likes to be important. Why did he mention he spoke to the prime minister so many times? Look how he behaves in Buckingham Palace! The thing is - there is a difference between power and importance. You could easily think mycroft likes power - but it’s importance and that’s much deeper and purer. Because he wants to matter for someone, wants to be of value. No one shows him on a personal level. Not his parents, not Sherlock. So he searches it in business life. He became the British Government because - how could he be even more important?
  • And because he’s a complete control freak! But that’s nothing new, we know since Episode 1. The most things he’s doing is to be the one in control.

Many people said he was out of character in TFP. He wasn’t. He just revealed a side we haven’t seen before. We always saw him from the point of view of Sherlock and John. And they only see his role. The untouchable Ice Man. And this role can’t be kept up in the situation they’re in - that’s why he behaves so different, just not logical, even emotional.

  1. He always was in control. In TFP he wasn’t. He knew it was his fault. He’s not like Eurus who has almost no feelings at all. TFP shows what losing control is doing to Mycroft.
  2. “He didn’t vomit when Mary was shot!” When Mary got shot he was The Ice Men, there were so many people from his professional life around - besides, she got shot in the chest, just a little blood. This guy blew his head up with brain all over the wall and stuff?!
  3. “He never had a problem with killing people or letting them die?! People die, that’s what people do?!” He never killed someone with his own hands? Maybe there’s a little difference?! He was always sitting behind his desk, not knowing the people, not seeing them. He never was a field agent.
👶🏻 21 👶🏻
  • : :
  • *outside Speedy's*
  • Molly: *approaching Mary* What's going on?
  • Mary: *grins* I found the father of your baby.
  • Molly: *wide-eyed* What? How...how do you even know who the father is?
  • Mary: *digging in her purse* I believe this belongs to the father of your baby *removes the scarf*
  • Molly: *groans* Oh God...he’s in there right now?
  • Mary: Yup.
  • Molly: *sighs* Let's get this over with.
  • Molly & Mary: *enter Speedy's*
  • Tom: *waving* Hi, Molls.
  • Molly: ...
  • Tom: *looking between them* So, what’s up?
  • Mary: *nudging her forwards* Well, Molly has something that she wants to tell you *gestures the scarf* while we're on the subject, I believe that this is your scarf.
  • Tom: No... *unzips his coat* this is my scarf.
  • Mary: ...
  • Mary: *looks at the scarf in her hand* Ah. Could I get anyone a coffee or...poison? No? Just for me? Okay *hurries off*
  • Tom: *concerned* What’s going on?
  • Molly: *sits opposite him* Nothing. Mary just... sort of made a mistake.
  • Tom: *smiles* I’m pleased Mary called. I know we broke up because you thought we weren't compatible. I was thinking...does that matter?
  • Molly: *hesitates* Tom...
  • Tom: We were perfect together *holds her hand*
  • Molly: I’m pregnant.
  • Tom: Oh. *drops her hand*
  • Tom: ...
  • Molly: ...
  • Molly: You can go.
  • Tom: Thank you *runs off*
  • *John & Mary's*
  • Sherlock: *staring at the baby*
  • John & Mary: *enter the flat*
  • Mary: *smiles* Hi. How was she?
  • Sherlock: *shrugs* Fine.
  • John: *lifts his daughter* There's my girl. Were you good for your Uncle?
  • Sherlock: *sighs*
  • Mary: *smirks* You love her really. You're a natural.
  • Sherlock: *rolls his eyes* I'm going to have to get used to it.
  • John: *nods* Yes, you are.
  • Sherlock: *winds the scarf around his neck; smiles a little*
  • Mary: *looks up; points* That's your scarf?
  • Sherlock: *frowns* Yeeeeeees.
  • Mary: ...
  • Sherlock: *shrugs on his coat* Goodnight *leaves*
  • Mary: *squeals with happiness*

I love how the Theme of King J.J. went from narcissistic anthem to deeply inspirational real quick. Go listen to the lyrics again! It’s so clever how the meaning of the song changes with the context of the scene. 

The first time we heard the song, the lyrics suggest that he is an overbearing, pompous ass who thinks he’s top shit - we can infer this from the way he excudes so much confidence. But after his breakdown, it’s like the song is symbolic of his uphill climb to get to where he is now. It shows his tenacity and incredible fighting spirit. I fucking love that. 

this came from a conversation i had with @minyarrd03 where we were discussing headcanons about neil + learning to function in the Outside World without being a) extremely suspicious b) plain weird (he’s failing miserably)

  • so one day neil learns what ‘nailed it’ means
  • and matt jokingly says ‘ah you neiled that one’ and neil thinks it’s s o c l e v e r (kinda helps it came from matt. neil thinks everything matt says is clever)
  • and from that moment on he won’t stop saying it
  • literally won’t stop like? shoots in goal and scores? ‘neiled it’. wins an argument against kevin? ‘neiled it’. catches smth right before it falls to the ground? u fuckin guessed it ‘neiled it’
  • and like. okay it’s slightly obnoxious and all but the way his eyes light up like it’s the funniest joke in the world…. it’s so endearing so no one says anything
  • not even allison (given matt has to shush her a few times)
  • not even andrew. andrew. the first time a drunk neil nearly knocks over his glass but manages to get it up right before any liquid spills out and slurs out a ‘neiled it’, andrew can’t even find it in himself to glare
  • it’s almost sweet, the way he’ll roll his eyes and instead ask to kiss neil to shut him up
  • but one day. one day.
  • andrew and neil are making out sweetly kissing in the dorm room and a slightly intoxicated nicky suddenly barges in before they can go back to pretending that ‘this is nothing’
  • and nicky. my poor son. lets out a slurred but distinct ‘looks like andrew neiled that one’
  • and oh boy nicky is gone. so far gone. Joke Of The Year™ what a comedian
  • and he’s nearly collapsing a lung laughing until he realizes that neil is digging his fingers in andrew’s upper arm to keep him from taking a swing at him
  • and so nicky just takes off running because OH BOY he doesn’t want to die tonight
  • not after catching them together and winning at least 70 bucks in a single night in bets
  • they say if you listen carefully enough you can still hear nicky’s screams ringing through the dorm halls
  • rip nicky 


Originally posted by noctass

Just dating Ignis Scientia things:

  • Oh man. Dis mofo slick. I mean you can’t tell me you don’t get even a little bit giddy seeing him be a professional. Don’t fall for the trap of thinking he’s just an empty suit. A lot of people think he’s all work, no play, super boring, but those people are so wrong. Ignis is great and gets better over the time you get to know him. He is loyal, diligent and suave with very little of the vanity and ego of the other three guys. He’s witty, knows the best time to drop jokes and puns and and clever little jokes and observations. Ignis Scientia is just the absolute worst because he’s perfect; good looks, good heart, great smarts. You’ve got no chance if he decides he wants to woo you.

  • Like with Prompto and Gladio, you have to understand what Ignis has been groomed for and that’s supporting Noctis, the royal family and Insomnia pretty much first and foremost. His role is critical when it comes to any kind of success. Understand that during moments of crisis or urgency, your boyfriend might have to postpone his time with you. Don’t ever assume he does this easily. It breaks his heart every damn time. He knows how difficult it is to be with him, someone who has so much responsibility. Every time he disappoints you, Ignis is scared you’re tempted to leave him. Prove Specs wrong and support him as much as you can.

  • Ignis never leaves you wanting for anything. If he can look after three man-children, one of which is a picky pretty-boy prince, he can bloody well look after you. He treats you more like royalty than he does with Noct, to be honest. Ignis is also very observant when it comes to your well-being and he takes care of you without really saying anything. If you’re looking cold, suddenly his jacket is around your shoulders. If he’s seeing signs of you getting hungry, there’s suddenly a delicious meal within your grasp (sometimes it’s your favourite depending on how cranky you’re getting). If you’re working hard and looking exhausted, but you need to push on for deadlines, you’ll have coffee, you’ll have snacks, you’ll have whatever you need to keep going. Ignis just knows how to take care of you without being overbearing or intrusive. He saves that shit for the three man-children.

  • Affection with Ignis is just… beautiful. It’s got a classic romantic flavour, it’s sweet, it’s mature. It’s a lot of little things he does to show that he cares a lot about you. Lots of hand holding and gentle kisses against your palm. Ignis is 100% the kind of guy to hold your hand while driving, by the way. The guys give him shit for it, but they might be kind of jealous. You’ll get random gifts sometimes, out of the blue without any words just a sweet, knowing smile. Sometimes you’ll have flowers sent to your work or something. Ignis does all of these things because he love that shy grin you get when he does this stuff. Your blush is the cutest. Smooch Iggy as much as you can to reward him <3

  • Okay, so you’re right in thinking that Ignis isn’t petty, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t got the ability to be. Though when he’s petty, it is fucking savage. For example, one day the guys are just absolutely unbearable. Sometimes it gets like that over stupid shit. Usually you can step in and calm everyone down, but they’re beyond help. Ignis, being clever and straightforward, decides he’s had enough. He very loudly declares, to your embarrassment, “We fucked in the Regalia once.” There is a deafening silence as Ignis takes you by the hand and leaves without any explanation.

    Ignis is a genius because the boys immediately stop bickering. Was he joking? Wait, when did you fuck in the Regalia? When was there time? The boys are hardly without either Ignis or the car, so…? WHEN? HOW? Were they in the car after?! Oh god, was it front seat or backseat? They freak out over Ignis’ declaration. The perfect part of this whole ordeal is that eventually one of the boys thinks ‘maybe Ignis is joking, he probably is, we should ask’, but neither you or Ignis confirm or deny if he was telling the truth.

    The boys are kept in perpetual suspense. At this point, they don’t even care if you guys had fucked in the car, they just need to know if it happened or not, but they will receive no respite. Ignis keeps his lips sealed, as do you. The boys are kept in a state of limbo regarding answers and they are reminded of that dreaded, possibly true, declaration every time they see the Regalia.

    Noctis is the Lucian King, but Ignis Scientia is the fucking King of petty when the situation calls for it. 
callout post for fun ghoul

• constantly brags about the story behind his killjoy name because he thinks it’s so clever

• purposefully fucks up the stitches jet star gives him whenever he’s injured because he thinks battle scars are cool

• places bets on everything and never coughs up the money he owes

• always throws things to you instead of calmly passing them like a normal human being

• refuses to make two trips even if it means he’s carrying his own body weight in one load

• puts sand in peoples boots when he’s mad at them

• once tried to light poison’s hair on fire to prove how greasy it was 

Characters/Celebrities I believe are Slytherins:

I mean disagree if you must I don’t really care aha. I’ll try to add more when I think of them, just wanted to get this out since I said I would write a list. I got lazy on why I think these things and kinda had a moment where I went “wait why am I even explaining myself. I don’t give that much of a fuck to explain myself.” so yeah. Enjoy.

1)Sherlock Holmes – Why you ask? Because Sherlock is just too cynical to be from any other house. A lot of people think he’s a ravenclaw (which he could be!) but nah I don’t believe so. Sure Sherlock is smart AF but he’s not like other smart people. He’s cunning and clever and just so Slytherin it hurts. (SIDENOTE*** I do believe that brave John Watson is in fact a Gryffindor. But he’s more like “aye that’s my favorite Gryffindor, John!” than “Ew Gryffindors” ya feel?)

2)Kayne West- Do I really gotta go over this? Sorta obvious.

3)Jim Halpert-100% Slytherin. Well maybe 98% but close enough. His constant pranks on Dwight (who is arguably a Gryffindor) is just so … Slytherin? Aha sorry but I don’t even have the patience to argue this, it’s set in stone in my mind.

4)Doctor Gregory House-This is another one of those that doesn’t need explanation.

5)Mare Barrow (Red Queen Series)- I don’t know what it is about her… But Mare just reminds me of a Slytherin. Just something about her is so badass ya feel me?

6)Robert Downey Jr.- I’m not sure if I have to explain this one because come on :’)

7)Ariana Grande- Not a big fan of her, but she’s just very like mean girl Slytherin (even though I know she’s probably a very sweet girl, just like the way she looks makes me think of like a mean girl lmao)

8)Hugh Jackman- Totally. Couldn’t see him in any other house.

9) Angelina Jolie- 100%

10)Bruce Wayne/Batman- rich, brooding, attractive = Slytherin.

11)Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier- There is just something about him that is so Slytherin (you could probably argue Gryffindor as well… but no)

12)Jyn Erso- I’m a multi fandom nerd and I 100% am so for this. Jyn is such a strong lead character that takes no shit.

13)Princess Leia- Completely and totally a Slytherin.

14)Zuko (Avatar the Last Airbender)- I know this doesn’t help the whole “villains are not Slytherin!!” but like he gets a redemption at the end (sort of last season). So to me he’s like a good mix of “bad” and “good” Slytherin.

15)Lestat De Lioncourt (The Vampire Chronicles)- He’s a mess and that’s amazing. Also he’s kind of the stupid (he’s not stupid I know but he’s just like… a dumb blond which I find hilarious) mean Slytherin.

16)Louis Tomlinson- Louis William Tomlinson is for sure a Slytherin. He’s just like the popular outgoing kind of Slytherin (they exist lmao), but he can just be so savage/sassy.

17)Anne Boleyn- Fucking queen (literally and just as an adjective) as fuck. She’s especially boss and Slytherin-y in The Tudors.

18)Red Foreman- Yes. Just Yes.

I love the glitches of this Say Goodbye video, and all the ones before, and also the amazing sound effects, but what really gets me is how the entire dialogue of this video was basically double entendres all the way through, plus the flawless acting by Jack, (fucking seriously who knew my boy Sean was so good at theater?? damn!) and the perfectly timed editing by Robin.

I mean it’s all so subtle and so clever that unless you’re really paying attention, and thinking in terms of how Anti would think, I feel like you might miss some of it.

“This is gonna get dangerous” Jack says, and the first delighted and demented chuckle filters through. When he sits down again after investigating the noise, Jack says, his voice faint and lacking confidence: “What the fuck was that?” He looks at the knife for just a few seconds too long, drawing his fingers along it, as if mesmerized.

Keep reading

Blaming Clever Sherlock

In retrospect, I’m probably going a little easy on Sherlock. 

Did he choose to rattle off a series of painful and embarrassing deductions about Vivian Norbury at exactly the wrong moment? Yes he did. I guess I’m struggling to blame him for that because that’s just what he does. Unfortunately his actions have consequences. But those consequences would have been borne entirely by him and him alone had Mary not thrown herself in their path.

It  reminds me of A Study in Pink more than everything else. Sometimes Sherlock risks his own life to prove that he’s clever. John’s presence in his life has softened him a little on that, but it’s never extinguished the tendency. Sherlock is not cautious, and in this case his lack of caution created a dangerous situation with a terrible outcome. So I suppose we can find a way to place a little blame on his shoulders. But he didn’t do anything unexpected.

The bigger miss, I think, is that it took him so long to suspect Vivian Norbury, even while she was sitting right in front of him from the start. He thought she was harmless and horribly underestimated her. That error may have prompted him to humiliate her all the more in the end, which led to her firing that shot. 

Even then, I think you have to work pretty hard to blame Sherlock for Mary’s death. He neither pulled the trigger nor aimed the gun at her, literally or figuratively.

so…can we talk about the fact that Mary was a part of John’s subconscious in this ep…and literally the ENTIRE TIME she’s trying to convince him to talk to Sherlock, stay with Sherlock, to go back to Baker Street…John WANTS TO BE WITH SHERLOCK. he just doesn’t want to admit it to himself. 

also…i think the clever Mary in his head drives home the point that John is way cleverer than he believes he is. he’s intelligent, he’s intuitive, he’s capable…and he knows how Sherlock thinks and acts and feels. he knows Sherlock SO WELL. 

pretty damn smart, indeed. 

  • Reaper: This is Sombra...ok have fun.
  • Sombra: Thanks, pops.
  • Reaper: 'various groans of anguish'
  • Soldier 76: Ok, I think we should lay down some ground rules.
  • Sombra: Come on, old man. Do you really think you can order me around?
  • 76: If you take orders from Reaper you will take them from me.
  • Sombra: "Take orders from Reaper"? last time he ordered me around I hacked his GPS and lead him into traffic.
  • 76: Ha. You think that makes you clever? I remember back in our training days we replaced his ammunition with dye packs.
  • Sombra: What color?
  • 76: Bright Yellow.
  • Sombra: Oh he hates that color.
  • -hours later-
  • Widowmaker: She better not be dead, Reaper.
  • Reaper: Either she killed Morrison or Jack actually beat some discipline in her.
  • -opens door-
  • 76: HA! We used to do that all the time in the old Overwatch. Do you want to hear the time his mom visited the base?
  • Sombra: Oh yes please do.
  • Soldier 76: Kid, you're alright.
  • Widowmaker: Well. This was unexpected.
  • Reaper: Do you ever wonder why I hate you all?

diosapoderosa  asked:

Do you remember why you put Hades in Ravenclaw? I am profoundly curious about it, believe me.

I think the version you’re talking about is for the actual Greek gods and like. Hades just wanted to do his thing, be into the Underworld. 

(Someone help, what are words)

Hades was all “Alriiiiight Zeus just MURDERED dad what am I aboutta rule over???”

And Zeus was like “here brother mine, you can take the dead people”

And Hades was like “Awwwww maaaaaaan. Oooookaaaaaaay” And so he retreated to his underground realm and was like “I need a wife”

So he tricks Persephone into staying underground for half the year. Clever wit.

So he chilled with a big dog and devised a bunch of ways to make sure people didn’t leave the underworld. Creative. Inventive. Clever. 

Theseus and Pirithous tried capturing Persephone and Hades was like “Aw here, sit and eat, sleep in the underworld for a bit PSYCH YOU’RE TRAPPED BY MY SNAKES. HA. TEACH YOU TO TRY AND STEAL MY WIFE I DON’T THINK SO” Clever. 

And he treated everyone equally with like laws and stuff. He was a pretty fair dude and like level-headed and wise. Wisdom.

And besides that, he was just chilling in the Underworld with his wife unless it was sunny and vegetation time. Hades just kept to himself. Stayed outta people’s business for the most part. 

I think Ravenclaw’s pretty appropriate.

-Caitlin (Ravenclaw)