I might have come to this one a little later than I did with Yato and Hiyori. I think I really started shipping this when Bishamon exiled Kazuma for helping Yukine. The pain on both of their faces was so heart-breaking and I just knew that I could not stand them being separated again. XD
It’s… complicated? Honestly, this pairing hurts so much worse than Yatori. Aging is one thing–there are ways around that in the Noragami-verse like dying, but the obstacles that separate Kazuma and Bishamon seem so much harder to overcome. Which is kind of silly because we know that gods and their shinki can pretty much be in committed relationships ala Kofuku and Daikoku, so it’s not like it’s impossible… But unbelievably enough, KazuBisha feels less likely to get a happy ending to me than Yatori does… Still, the pain of hard ships is a glorious thing…
What makes me happy about them:
Neither one of them has all the answers. They absolutely complete each other–each one needs wisdom the other can bring to the table. In some ways, they are actually VERY similar to each other: they both have trouble understanding the feelings of others, and neither one of them really knows where to draw the limits. They definitely balance each other out, and when they are together and able to talk things through, they make the best choices because they make choices together. I also adore how parental they are over the rest of Bishamon’s shinki–Kazuma reminding Bishamon to spread her attention evenly… Cute…
What makes me sad about them:
Everything What makes me saddest is Bishamon’s complete obliviousness to Kazuma’s feelings. It’s absolutely not her fault–she’s a goddess of war, romance and reading others’ feelings is not really in her nature. Like Kazuma mentions in “Beside the Crimson Stain,” to some extent, she’s just not capable of loving in a human manner. I don’t think that means that she’s not capable of learning how to love, but that any human who ever entered a relationship with her would do so knowing that it is going to hurt because she isn’t human and the ways she would show love in return might not ever really fulfill a human being’s need for empathy and affection. She could learn, but it would be an agonizing process while she did. Personally I feel like Kazuma’s “I would certainly sting my master” if he got into a relationship with her isn’t just because of his notoriously impure thoughts… I think he recognizes that the pain he might experience from feeling as if the depths of his adoration aren’t returned would also hurt Bishamon in turn. I don’t think I could enter into a relationship if I knew that I would hurt the person I was with because of factors that were completely out of their control…
things done in fanfic that annoys me:
I’ve read like a handful of KazuBisha fics so I don’t think I’ve really found anything that annoys me yet.
things I look for in fanfic:
Suffering I think I would prefer AUs for this pair, especially the “fish out of water” type AU where one or both of them are out of their normal element. Someone please write me a “Kazuma gets shipped off to Army boot camp and totally falls for his smokin’ hot trainer who kicks ass and takes names and ain’t got no time for romance. Good luck impressing her, four eyes.”
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:
lol Yato. Either one of them. Also I think grown-up!Ebisu and Bishamon could have been kind of cute in the total opposites can’t figure out how they went from friends to something else way. Or if Bishamon reincarnates, chibi!Ebisu/chibi!Bishamon toy ship??
My happily ever after for them:
Kazuma finally gets over his reservations and realizes that causing your loved one pain is part of life–that no relationship is without its hardships and moments of suffering–and that by being with Bishamon in a different way, he might actually help her grow more as a person than he currently is. Objections out of the way, he goes charging in and swoops Bishamon off her feet with a big damn kiss and she’s just like ?? what is? going on? And for a second she’s going to misinterpret things somehow but everybody else is like “ABOUT DAMN TIME” and “WHEN’S THE WEDDING” and oh ohhhhhh Kazuma likes her
and she’s terribly embarrassed
OMG OMG WHAT DO I DO NOW then she gets her determined face on like I CAN DO THIS I WILL BE THE BEST THERE EVER WAS; 2000 BEES AIN’T GOT NOTHING ON ME *walks away without a word to go read every book she can find about dating and being in a relationship because she’s been alive for literally thousands of years and has never been on an actual date* BUT IT ALL WORKS OUT GUYS and they raise their 50 adopted children + pet lion forever and ever, the end!!
who is the big spoon/little spoon:
Kazuma wishes there was spooning of any variety going on… Just as a girl with really long hair, I can tell you it’s more comfortable to be the big spoon because having someone roll over on your hair or getting your hair tangled in their buttons etc. is tortureeeee. XDD (But for reals though, Kazuma seems like he would be a professional grade big spoon.)
what is their favorite non-sexual activity:
Bishamon was ill for a long time, so I imagine that she didn’t really have that much energy to do a lot of extracurricular stuff. I think back then, Kazuma’s favorite thing was probably the days after Bishamon recovered from particularly bad bouts and was able to walk around the estate and interact with all her shinki. Nowadays, I think they probably both enjoy trying new things–going places they’ve never been, trying new foods together, finding trinkets to bring home for the other shinki…
Gom + kagami +imayoshi +himuro & hanamiya having a crush on their younger step-sister that they just met? lmao I'm sorry 😏
dont be sorry this is hilarious
Kagamithe bae: the dork probably wouldn’t be able to interact with her much, because he’d feel that he’s her brother and that he shouldn’t be feeling like this. He’d also classify his thoughts as impure even tho he’s the purest adorkable soul out there.
Kuroko: he’d think that his thoughts weren’t quite going in the direction they were supposed to, because they were brother and sister now and he shouldn’t be thinking of her like this. Despite this, he’d try to get along with her and they’d be so adorable together she’d be able to find him anywhere.
Aomine: he’d be a lot softer with her than he would with anyone else. Of course, he’d still tease her a lot and stuff, but he’d generally be calmer around her. He’d also teach her how to play basketball and scare away everyone that tried to have a conversation with her.
Kise: he’d be ecstatic and not care much about them being brother and sister. He’d take her shopping and I can totally see them wearing facial masks and taking care of their nails and watching stupid shows together while eating chocolate and ice-cream.
Midorima: he’d be the most conflicted tbh, because he already has a younger sister and he should not be feeling like this around the new addiction to his family. So he’d avoid her for a while because he thinks he’s impure until she talks with him and then he goes all tsun with her. Then he starts to treat her normally lol.
Murasakibara: she’d be the only one whom he’d share his snacks with. Because he’s such a giant child, even though she’s the younger one she’d start to take care of him and say things like “if you eat this portion of vegetables we can go check out that new cake shop” and he’d obey her because he likes seeing her happy.
Akashi: he’d treat her like a queen tbh. If he likes her enough, it’s because she somehow wormed her way into his heart and is there to stay. So he’d always make sure to escort her everywhere she went, help her in studies and introduce her to his horse, Yukimaru. He’d also smile more around her.
Himuro: at first he’d treat her gently, like he does with all girls. But as he starts to like her more, he shows more of his personality to her, sometimes going to her to talk about things that bother him. His manipulative personality would surface after a few weeks because he doesn’t like anyone interacting with her other than him.
Imayoshi: he’d tease her a lot, often saying that she looked very cute when embarassed or angry. Like Himuro, he’d start showing more of his personality to her after he decides he likes her. He’d be so overprotective it’s almost insane.
Hanamiya: his first thought is that he wants to crush that smile, but he can’t quite bring himself to do it. At first he’s really harsh to her, saying mean things and stuff, but after a while he starts to treat her better and maybe even crack a smile or two.