he shouldn't be allowed at all

So I was thinking. 

You are out slaying enemies and you get your drops; zu tenders, behemoth sirloinsm griffon breast etc etc but let’s be honest, these perfect cuts of meat are not going to just fall off of enemies.  

Cue, butcher Iggy. 

The boys have slain their foe, they are catching their breathe, recuperating from the epic battle, congratulating each other when one of them just looks around and asks, ‘Hey, where’s Ignis?’ He isn’t partaking in the post battle celebrations.  A step back towards the beasts corpses reveals Ignis, covered in blood, one dagger in hand, carving up the beast trying to avoid which bits have been absolutely ruined in the battle to get a salvageable meal for the four of them.  

There are no words as he stands up, uses the bottom of his shirt to wipe off a blood splatter on his glasses and picks up four perfectly cut steaks as if nothing has happened.  It is at that moment all three of them realise just how much they never want to actually piss their chef off as they watch in silent awe and fear as he starts to head back to the car for some clean clothes and seasoning..  

“Dinner.”

  • what she says : i'm fine
  • what she means : in addition to being a disgusting and homophobic stance to take at all, the idea that gay men shouldn't be allowed in the military is also historically inaccurate. the father of the american military, baron von steuben was an effeminate gay man. and he basically invented the concept of a drill sergeant and the very idea of the military as we know it. the image of the american military as a bastion of hypermasculine heterosexuality is just so fundamentally flawed at its very core. not to mention, of course, that the military was historically a place where many gay -
  • Wally: All right Jaime, if you're serious on dating my cousin, you need to ask for his father's approval
  • Jaime: But...But that's...
  • Bart: Come on Blue! I know you can do it!
  • Jaime: Well, Ok, here I go...
  • Jaime: *holds bottle*
  • Don: *drinks milk* *drinks milk**drinks milk**burps**smiles**gets asleep again*
  • Wally: HE DIDN'T START CRYING, HE HAS ACCEPTED YOU!
  • Bart: MARRY ME IN 5 YEARS JAIME!
  • Artemis: Wow, Jade was right, you guys shouldn't be allowed to babysit anymore...
  • - 5 years later -
  • Don: *walks Bart through the aisle*
  • Barry: I'm so proud *wipes tear*
  • Jay: The house will finally have some peace and tranquility
  • Iris: I know that things go pretty fast for you speedsters, but Don can't even write and read properly and he's already doing this.

eyeloch  asked:

Since you talked about robots in the tags of a recent ficlet: Obi-Wan gets a bit grumpy with a droid. He shouldn't. He knows he shouldn't - Jedi ways and all that. But it's private and he has too much to deal with without an analysis droid rating his performance as Chancellor (or any other scenario that could come up with.)

This whole ficlet happened because I live for pissing Palpatine off. lmao. aka WARNING: Palpatine

“Oh! Chancellor Kenobi, I must say—”

Obi-Wan tunes RK-2S out before it finishes the sentence. It’s been in his office far more and far longer than should be allowed. He knows that many Senators believes he need an assistant, but this droid…

It’s a security risk, and it’s an annoyance. It’s not fair to the droid, it’s not doing anything wrong—though its constant complaints about how the plants are in the way is starting to really get on his nerves—but he can’t help the annoyance he feels.

Keep reading

I’m Safest When At Home *Steve RogersxReader*

Originally posted by forassgard

(Requested by georghiousophia) I love your writing ! Like OMG YOU ARE AMAZIng !!!!!! I was wondering if you had time if you could write a oneshot were the reader is Tony’s daughter but is dating Steve. And when on a mission together the reader gets hurt and tony tries to blame it on Steve and he believes tony so tries to break up with the reader but then like fluff or smut happens to show she wants him to stay ?????? (Sorry if this is a crap request!) 
Warnings:Fluff & Swears
Admins Note: Written by Rosalee. You did say either or for the smut thing, so I decided to go down the ‘fluff’ route, if you expected smut for this then I am deeply sorry and maybe I’ll write something soon. Also, its not a crap request, never be afraid to express an idea to us if you want it written by us. One shot, ship and preferences request are open if you want something done by me or Angie. 


“Okay, someone remind me to take some vacation days” you say breathlessly into your communicator. The last man dropping to his knee’s, you let out a deep sigh and round-housed kicked him in the face, making him fall with a thud. Despite the sweat dripping down your face, this was easy, a little too easy for your liking. The Hydra base was small anyway but that didn’t mean anything for their hired assassins, they’re obviously up to something.

Keep reading

There are different kinds of people when it comes to naming instruments
  • Those who give their instruments 'human' names: i.e. Thomas, John, Clark, Max
  • The ones who are obviously huge nerds: i.e. Xavier, Aristotle, Dante, Draco
  • The ones who just aren't creative: (or just like keeping it simple) i.e. Al the Alto Saxophone, Gibson the Guitar, ect.
  • The ironic ones: i.e. Soprano the Tuba, Bass the Flute, Viola the Violin
  • And Finally:
  • The ones who shouldn't ever be allowed to name anything: (even though they're probably right) i.e. Satan, Lucifer, Trashophone, Idiot

anonymous asked:

I'm bi, but I have a boyfriend, my friend said that there's no way that I'm bi then, and it's all a joke, and when I said I like girls too, (like I have many times before) they said it's disgusting and started calling me the f slur, and they also said that I don't deserve my boyfriend and that he shouldn't love me.

i’m sorry your friends are so hateful and close minded. There’s nothing wrong with you being attracted to girls too and you deserve love. Don’t allow people to treat you in ways you don’t deserve. I’d recommend talking to them about it and how they’re making you feel or considering distancing yourself all together. They don’t sound like very good friends.

#kerfuffled #flipflops
  • Tegan: I wished that we had driven [from Toronto to Long Island], because it was a really small plane, and I was sitting in an aisle seat. It was just two-seater on my side, and this guy, who was like quite...like, kerfuffle--like, no, what's the word I'm looking for...he was, uh, ruffle, or uh...what's--
  • Sara: Disheveled?
  • Tegan: Disheveled! Thank you. He was kerfuffled and disheveled. And, uh...did you see that look on Sara's face? It was like I just...peed my pants on stage or something, and she was just like *makes face*
  • Sara: I don't think kerfuffled is a word. *laughs*
  • Tegan: It's a word! Kerfuffle, like you know, it's like...he caused a kerfuffle but he was just disheveled. But he, like, he was very rumpled, his clothes, and his - he was wearing flip-flops. Which I am fine about flip-flops, but I think you shouldn't be allowed to wear flip-flops on a airplane--
  • Sara: --he was very flip-flopped. He was just super flip-flopped.
  • Tegan: Yeah, he was flip-flopping all the way down to my aisle, and I was like, No no no no no! Cause I don't wanna see someone's toes two inches from my...feet! Like it's just - and he was quite a, like, tall man, and it was a tiny plane, and his leg - he sat down in a disheveled, kerfuffled, flip-flopped mess. And his leg was like, on mine, and his foot like was under my seat, and his arm *waves arm* he was like 'UHHHH', he went 'UHHHHH' like so loud when he sat down.
  • Sara: That's probably--
  • Tegan: [to a fan] Did you just say he's here?? *laughs*
  • Sara: That's probably what it's like to be married to him.
  • Tegan: And I just though--
  • Sara: --imagine, imagine what his wife thinks when he just gets all kerfuffled on top of her.
  • Tegan: I don't even care, and I don't even know, you could be a freaking, you could be like a physicai--a phyisicis--a physio--he could be something awesome
  • Sara: Wow, I don't know. He's a kerfuffler.
  • Tegan: *laughs* He could kerfuffle for a living.
  • Sara: He has a degree in kerfuffling.
  • Tegan: I didn't--
  • Sara: --he has a Ph.D.
  • Tegan: I couldn't--
  • Sara: It's crazy--
  • Tegan: --care less. The, I don't even care, he could be the most amazing person, he could adopt, he could have thousands of adopted children. His flip-flop...naked foot touched me, and I was like, NO! *laughter* So I--
  • Sara: That's intimacy.
  • Tegan: --just--
  • Sara: That's a lot of intimacy.
  • Tegan: It was a lot of intimacy, too quick. So I'm like--
  • Sara: --too soon.
  • Tegan: --'whoops!', cause I've got steel-toed boots, so I kind of was like, shoved my foot out and was like, 'Whoops! Better protect your flip-flopped foot!' or whatever, and he just looked at me and then didn't move his foot. And then he like, kind of like put his arm over top of the seat, or the arm rest thing, and I looked over at Sara, and Sara looked over at me, and I just was like 'No. No, no no.' Anyway, they closed the door, and Sara had an empty seat next to her, so she let me sit next to her, which was like pretty awesome.
  • Sara: I did, and then Tegan--it was weird because then Tegan brought--came over and she put her steel-toed boot on top of my foot, and I was just like, 'You're kerfuffling on my side'
  • Tegan: *laughs* Yeah.
  • Sara: 'I have no problem calling the flight attendant over and asking if you could be put back in your original seat.'
  • Tegan: No, it was fine. But it was weird because after we got off the plane, me and that guy made eye contact like thousands of times in the airport, cause I could tell--
  • Sara: Well, you kerfuffled. It's a big deal.
  • Tegan: He, yeah, I mean, yeah, maybe I hurt his feel--if he's here tonight I wanna say I'm sorry, sir, that I abandoned you, but...it was too much intimacy. And um...don't wear flip-flops on a plane. No. Today I actually just said they should get rid of flip-flops, I hate them. I hate the noise they make when you walk in them, eughh. I know, it's fine -
  • Sara: It takes a special kind of person to let a little *makes cross with fingers* like a stick in between your two toes, like eughh.
  • Tegan: Alright, alright, alright.
  • Sara: Who lets that - I don't understand what kind of person lets that happen to them, you know?
  • Tegan: I wish that people at the back could see the kind of motion Sara's making, it would really add to her story....This one's for everyone wearing flip-flops, I can see flip-flops, I saw this, yes, here *points*
  • Sara: Oh my god, everyone wearing flip-flops right now is like, braiding leaves together and creating shoes, like they're just like, 'I can't be seen in flip-flops.'
  • Tegan: Oh see, I thought you were gonna say everyone who's wearing flip-flops is on Twitter right now, being like, 'I hate @teganandsara.'
Movie Night

Author: Zoe (Of course)

Warning: None

Word Count: 2,023


“You’re an insufferable, unruly, and outrageous young man, but you are my brother, so I cannot say that I don’t love you,” You hummed, patching your brother’s wound. Alexander had come home from yet another scuttle with his classmates. “I told you not to antagonize Lee.”

“He shouldn’t have said that women are a lower class than men, and then on top of that you should have heard all the shit he said about Lafayette!” Alexander raged, his hands balling up into fists. “The minority of blacks get enough crap as it is; make that into a genderqueer pansexual black and you have Lee raging on about all the things ‘wrong and sinful’ with- ugh, glad that you’re the only one with a good shot, or I’d challenge him to a duel.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm a slytherin (completely and 100% of it). My old boyfriend was a gryffindor (completely in that house). He found out and called the house the house of heartless death eaters that have given nothing but trouble, then proceeded to dump me. He said I shouldn't feel it since I'm in "the cold house". If slytherin are all cold, why does it still hurt? My puff has helped me get over it, but it's bothered me since. Is my being a slytherin that bad...?

No. That is not your fault. It is not a fault at all. He was simply a jerk who was closed-minded and couldn’t get over his misconceptions. We are not the ‘cold house’, we are the house who can deal with hurt by hiding it from others. We still feel just as much as the next.

Now if you’d allow me to punch him in the face…?

samyazaz  asked:

Ahh, happy fic anniversary, darling! How about E/R, high school sleepovers?

(Ah, thank you, dear! I hope this is okay! It got kinda long. CW for references to consensual sexual activity between teenagers.)

It’s always kind of weird, coming over to Grantaire’s house, Enjolras thinks. They don’t usually hang out at one another’s houses, but when they do, it’s usually Enjolras’. It’s even weirder with Grantaire’s parents both gone, and even though it’s smaller than Enjolras’ house, it seems to echo.

Grantaire doesn’t seem bothered, though, having Enjolras step out of his shoes by the door as he flicks the lights on.

“My dad’s got a conference, and my mom is out of out of town on work,” he told Enjolras earlier this week, with an easy shrug like there was nothing unusual with parents leaving their 17-year-old son alone for a week and a half. But maybe it’s not, to him, because a lot of things that seem very not okay to Enjolras don’t seem to faze Grantaire at all. “Do you want to come over for a few days?”

He’d asked his parents, coaching it in terms of Grantaire not wanting to be alone while his parents were gone (leaving out how long they’d be gone), and they had been fine with it. Enjolras has been dating Grantaire for a year and a half, now, and sometimes he thinks his mother knows, but she’s never hinted at it, so he doesn’t feel like he should bring it up. It’s… Enjolras doesn’t know how he feels, but he doesn’t want to ruin this careful balance he’s struck up.

Keep reading

Me: I lo-

Anyone who has spent 5 seconds around me ever: YES. YES WE KNOW. YOU LOVE JEAN, WE ALL KNOW. HE IS YOUR HEART AND SOUL, HE IS THE BREAD TO YOUR BUTTER, YOU WOULD DIE ON HOT COALS IF IT MEANT YOU COULD BE WITH JEAN IN THE AFTERLIFE. HE IS YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE FOREVER AND ALWAYS. WE GET IT.

Me: huh? No, no I was gonna tell you that I loaded my computer again

Them: …

Me: …

Me: …It has all of my Jean fanfictions on it