he reads between the lies

Storm

NCT DRABBLE


You stood by the window as your eyes made out every raindrop that descended the sky to touch the ground, composing their own music. You couldn’t decipher the stealthiness the weather had chosen to show these days, showering the days with expressions which resembled your emotions, then darkened and saddened.

   “I’m sorry y/n, I don’t think we should date anymore… I have my career to focus on, you have your school. I’m very sorry, but this will be best for both of us.”

   At first you thought he was lightly joking, that he didn’t mean to part ways. But you were wrong, wrong to have thought otherwise, wrong to have not taken the guilt his eyes shone with seriously.

   You tried hard not to cry as your eyes stung from the tears prodding from within. You had silently vowed to yourself to keep strong, but your will had disappeared, and you were left to rot in the sullen aura your disposition then exuded to everyone who passed by you in the cafe. 

   Though it was just a soft rain outside, but a storm in your heart.

   “Y/n?” you heard a voice call out to you softly from behind, the person placing their hand softly on your shoulder. Your mind, then shrouded with frustration, couldn’t make out the person. Luck favoured you then for you chose to turn around and see the intruder of your thoughts before shouting at him as irritation itched your tongue.

   “Oh… it’s you…” you calmed your nerves as you looked at the taller man before you, seeming much taller for you were seated in a chair, his eyes softening up as he smiled down at your form. 

   “Mark told me.” he informed as he sat down before you, the name alone stirred up tears behind your eyes but you were adamant on keeping your word.

   You sighed in response since there wasn’t much to say, turning your head toward the city which was being basked in the glory of your favourite time of the year.

   “Hey, I’m sorry. I know I was the one who insisted you both to start dating. I should’ve realised it won’t even last a year.”

   You smiled at him, trying to make it look cheerier but your eyes gave in to how you felt inside, making the smile more pathetic than anything. You saw him frown, as if your gloom was stabbing right into his heart. He brought his hand up and smoothed it over your cheek.

   “I’m fine,” you lied, “I was expecting this, to be honest.” you lied again, “Nothing lasts forever.” you felt yourself die inside.

   He laughed, “You really think I can’t read in between your lies, I thought you know me better y/n, I’m hurt.”

   “And you do know me better, I’m surprised.”

   He smiled at you and took your cold hands in his hands, which were still warm for having been enveloped by gloves till then, the warmth travelling through your entire body before reaching your heart. You finally felt your eyes giving out endless tears shedding from both your eyes as your body sat still, your composure finally melting. He didn’t talk and just let you cry silently, knowing that it was better to let you drown in your sudden failure, to let you surrender to it.

   Your body jerked as the phone on the table beeped, your eyes darting to check out the notification.

   Mark: y/n… can we talk?

   Your eyes lit up and you took your hands out of your friend’s hold, furiously tapping the screen to make a reply in a very eager affirmative. You were so occupied by the new ray of hope that you didn’t see your friend’s crest-fallen and pained expression.

To anyone who says Robert should be more sensitive of Aaron’s feelings with regards to Rebecca:

I think Robert’s problem is literally the opposite to Aaron’s, in the sense that Robert trusts Aaron too much. In Robert’s mind, Aaron is the most honest person he knows. So in that sense, Robert believes that if something was really wrong or something was really troubling Aaron, Aaron would tell him.

So when Aaron says he’s fine with Rebecca, when Aaron offered Bex champagne and encouraged Robert to go talk to her that time, and when Aaron invited Bex to Charity’s party…Robert believed it. He trusts Aaron so much that he’s not reading between the lines like maybe he used to.

Robert has lied and schemed enough times in his life to spot when someone is lying and scheming. But he didn’t even question Aaron suddenly springing a surprise weekend away to Manchester, conveniently after Robert told him he had to go to an overnight meeting with Rebecca. Even though this is a stunt Robert would probably pull himself, he didn’t think for a second that Aaron had just randomly come up with it on the spot. Because that’s not what Aaron does. Robert doesn’t think Aaron would do something like that.

People have mentioned how Robert used to be so in tune to how Aaron was feeling (the stuff with Gordon, for example; Robert realised something was wrong when nobody else did). That’s because, at that point, Aaron was sort of a lone wolf and he was pushing everyone away. He was kinda a loner, in a sense, even though he’s always had a lot of family around him, he wasn’t letting anyone in at that point - and Robert knew that.

But it’s different now. Robron are living together, they’re engaged, they’re more open and honest with each other than they ever have been, and in Robert’s mind, I think he just assumes that if Aaron had a problem with anything, that he would tell him about it. Like I seriously believe that. I think Robert is so comfortable in their little family unit, and has so much faith in Aaron’s honesty, that the thought of Aaron shutting him out in any way is just beyond him.

Aaron has always been so honest with Robert. Even when he was messing up, like when he kidnapped Lachlan, he didn’t keep it from Rob. Right away he opened that car boot and showed Robert that he had Lachlan hidden away in there! He has always been pretty transparent and even though Aaron can push people away sometimes, for the most part he does wear his heart of his sleeve (he shows his emotions/feelings more than he expresses them with words).

So for Robert….like he’s aware Aaron has had an issue with Rebecca, but both those occassions were for specific reasons; First there was the kiss, which anyone would freak out over, but that was all resolved in Robert’s mind - and I think it was resolved for Aaron too, for the most part (or at least he thought it was). Robert explained why it happened and Aaron clearly accepted that (he seemed to have more issue with the fact that Robert tried to bust Lachlan out of jail). Then there was the mix-up with the birthday surprise. This time, Robert really was totally innocent, but I also think he totally understood how it looked to Aaron, which is why he wasn’t too angry about the surprise being ruined (as disappointed as he was!).

So in Robert’s eyes, while he knows Aaron has had an issue with Bex, it’s been more a case of specific situations - that were actually innocent and quickly resolved - as opposed to Aaron being insecure as a whole. Like, Robert has no idea the depth of Aaron’s issue with this - he thinks it’s just a couple of isolated misunderstandings and that’s that. He doesn’t know how deep in runs. He doesn’t know that it makes Aaron uncomfortable just knowing that Robert is in the same room as Rebecca.

So I think that’s why Robert lies to him next week; he wants a drink with his friend to celebrate something work-related going well. Which is totally fine and normal (and especially because Robert has NO FRIENDS, he’s going to want to cling on to the one he’s got) BUT he doesn’t want this to be yet another situation that Aaron misunderstands/takes the wrong way/reads too much into. So I think in Robert’s head, him keeping this meeting a secret *is* his way of being sensitive to Aaron’s feelings, because he doesn’t want Aaron to get the wrong end of the stick again.

I don’t think for a second Robert would lie to Aaron if he knew the extent of his paranoia/jealousy/insecurity. But Robert is oblivious to it and isn’t reading between the lines because he believes that Aaron would be totally honest with him if his feelings were running a lot deeper.

And I understand why Aaron is keeping it from Robert; because Aaron KNOWS he can trust Robert, he really does. But there’s a part of him that isn’t allowing himself to trust Robert. And because he’s got it wrong before, he doesn’t want to appear like a broken record by keeping going on about it. And Robert saying “we can’t keep doing this” after Aaron ruined his birthday surprise; that’s going to rattle him too. He doesn’t realise that if he just sat down and explained to his fiance exactly how he’s feeling, and the depths of it, that Robert would totally understand. And I also think Aaron is scared to truly admit to himself just how much all of this is getting to him.

So I seriously feel sorry for the both of them. I know some people aren’t happy with the fact that Aaron is going to turn to violence to vent his frustration, but unfortunately that’s just how Aaron is and how he always has been. He attacked Paddy when he had to face his sexuality, he attacked that man during the warehouse raid the Christmas before last because Gordon was back, and he’s going to attack Kasim because he feels his deep-rooted insecurities are going to sabotage his relationship - and there’s been other incidents in between all of that too. This is what Aaron does, and in a way I’m glad Emmerdale aren’t completely erasing that side of him. Even though Aaron has grown up a lot and is healthier than he used to be (for the most part), we’re all so aware that he still has quite a way to go, and that he does need some proper help in dealing with a lot of the (totally understandable) issues that he has.

But the good thing about it all kicking off next week is it’s really going to break the ice and bring all of this shit to the surface. It’s really going to make both Aaron and Robert face things properly and hopefully they will start dealing with it in a healthy way, together, as a couple.

So while I agree they could each do things a bit differently (Aaron should be honest; Robert shouldn’t lie to him next week), I understand them both. And I know once it’s come to the surface, they will deal with it…just as they always do :)